#like. i’ve probably watched over 24 hours of videos and read like over 500k words so far
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oh my god fuck tiptoeing around it i hyperfixate i have hyperfixations and special interests and things i need to squeeze so much dopamine out of otherwise i die someone just fucking . aug
#at this point i’m tired of hiding it from myself lmao#yah i’m nd. most likely adhd but maybe autism who knows#neurodivergency runs in both sides of my family in multiple types so. who knows until i get a doctor to look at me#affirmations. my next wellness check is next month and i can A.) inform the doctor of my tics (forgot last year)#and B.) get contacts for a fucking psych eval bc the place my mom emailed and called never got back to her over multiple months#ANYWAYS. i’m frustrated bc my brain latched onto hl.vr.ai 2 YEARS LATE and now fan content production has slowed#plus it’s a much smaller fandom overall than dr was so it’s like. i’m soaking up all the content too fast i need more :(((#i go through content like a fucking BEAST btw. i am RAVENOUSLY hungry for that shit#like. i’ve probably watched over 24 hours of videos and read like over 500k words so far#it’s been like this for maybe a week or two#SIDENOTE: did u guys know i can’t pronounce ‘hl.vr.ai’ properly#like if you pronounced it like a word instead of an acronym#it SHOULD be ‘hilvrye.’#but i say ‘hivelrye’. i put the l in the wrong spot#this results from me never reading the acronym too closely when it first blew up#and as a result that pronunciation is stuck in my brain#ANYWAYS help help i’m starving for silly images and videos and words help i’ll die#i’m like a kid who drinks a capri sun way too fast and then cries bc he’s out of capri sun.#where’d it go :(( i want more where is it :(((
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