#listening to the fragrance of dark coffee on repeat in the dark at midnight

[azumasoroshi]

just remembered that luke atmey said that edgeworth acknowledged godot as the best prosecutor in the country despite him not having participated in any trials as a prosecutor at that point, which is incredibly funny because:

either luke atmey is bullshitting everything to make godot sound cooler to intimidate phoenix (canon - snakefashion)

edgeworth just has that little respect for every other prosecutor in the country that he was like yknow what yeah the best prosecutor is the one that hasn't prosecuted anything, it's all downhill from there

edgeworth knew that godot planned to face off against wright and he was like "oh no we don't do that newbie stuff here, you need to sound super powerful and ominous so that the other NPCs can make you sound threatening to phoenix otherwise you're not a worthy rival, here i'll spread the word that you're the best prosecutor in the country" and godot was like uhhhhh ok???

or edgeworth spins a wheel every time he leaves the country to see who will get the "best prosecutor in the country" title and this time it was godot

edgeworth picked the first name that he could remember off the top of his head (kosmickasper) which is funny because that implies he remembers NONE of the paynes

edgeworth ONLY remembers the paynes and was like "no. i refuse to name them as the best prosecutors" and godot walked in like hey can i get a job and edgeworth was like YOU. YOU'RE THE NEW BEST PROSECUTOR and godot was like sweeeet (anon)

godot won the annual prosecutor's office bingo competition (kosmickasper)

edgeworth was being sarcastic but he only has one tone of voice outside of court so luke thought he was being serious (theflamingmarshmallow)

edgeworth was telling a white lie like yeah good defense attorney = good prosecutor id believe it (themindoflore)

godot walked into edgeworth's office with a recorder while he was distracted and was like hey am i the best prosecutor in the country and edgeworth was like what huh yeah sure and godot keeps playing it in front of everyone like check it (detective-gum-chew) (i misread this one and thought edgeworth was distracted with a recorder like the instrument and thought wow that's oddly specific LMFAO)

there was actual prosecutor that edgeworth respected named godot and named him the best prosecutor and diego heard of him and was like well if he's retired/dead im sure he wont mind me yoinking his name for a little bit (pandoratheprocrasticreator)

godot told edgeworth that he wouldn't forgive him for his antics in the first two cases until he told everyone godot was the best (romanticsapcalebmalphas)

edgeworth was making a joke about the guy from waiting for godot and it completely flew over luke's head (theflyingsealion)

edgeworth was talking about godot's theme (which SLAPS) being the superior prosecutor theme and not godot himself (bee--lzebub)

luke asked edgeworth about godot and edgeworth was like well if he's going against wright he must be pretty epic. also be sure to tell wright that it'd be funny (animaticx - also side note but the idea of luke atmey and edgeworth sitting around having tea together and gossiping is REALLY funny to me)

if anyone has other ideas ill add them lmfao this is comedy gold to me

edit holy shit you guys have a lot of ideas

[tuanyiems]

Long Black

Long Black Jaebum x Reader Genre: Angst. Words: 1.2k [Masterlist]

Plot: A midnight drive with nothing but Jaebum and the Arctic Monkey’s playing in the background leaves more open wounds than you’d expect.

Warning: Nothing too graphic but it alludes to sex and alcohol.

a/n – Yes, I am welcoming hot August with a cold, angsty jb fic lol turn on some Arctic Monkey’s No. 1 Party Anthem for an extra dosage of emo

-

Red, flushed faces looked like bloated bruises against each other, all in a swarm against the dull lights of the room, beating, and laughing, as if they were drumming as one heartbeat.

“It’s cold, Y/N.”

I stand there unfazed, swallowing the winter air in deep breaths. Jaebum places his sweater over my shoulders before pulling me towards his silver Lexus, now white from the fresh coat of snow. I let Jaebum lead me into the passenger’s seat.

Despite being winter, Jaebum’s car always seems to smell like spring. Nothing abrasive. It’s just the right amount of fragrance, like the subtle freshness of sliced cucumbers. The air was heavy with smoke and breathy laughter, smells of putrid perfumes and bile, and the faint scent of coffee somewhere. Maybe everywhere. Accents of brown that surround the car on the frames of the dashboard and windows are the same shade of the caramel latte Jaebum drinks each morning.

The rearview mirror has a small, red charm I had braided for Jaebum back in fifth grade. I used to keep a similar, albeit messier, one from Jaebum on my wrist. Red cups lined the walls and windows like little soldiers. A hand split the sea of skin with a red cup, exclaimed, “Drink me!” and so I jumped into the rabbit hole and the place became a dream. The creamy leather seats are always warm, as if instantaneously upon my sitting on them. It’s like they’re alive and know I’m coming.

“I warmed the seats up for you a few minutes before you came out.”

“It’s nice.”

“I’m glad.”

He takes a deep breath before turning on his music. As usual, the Arctic Monkeys came on, the lead singer, Alex’s voice rippling through the air of the car with his words, “lights in the floors and sweat on the walls.” It wasn’t that his voice was very soothing, but it was like a penny falling into still waters, falling into the atmosphere of the car and creating waves of movement even though it was stagnant. Even though I was stagnant.

Sweaty palms on my bare skin. Sweaty fingers on my throat. Red cups guarding the walls and windows whispered “No escape.”

“Y/N.”

Jaebum stares at me. He looks at my hands, cautiously, like I am too cold to touch. He shakes his head, making a mental “never mind” and puts his hands on the wheel. “Your seatbelt.”

“Leave it.” I’m as safe as my skin will allow me, anyways.

Jaebum glances at me with sad eyes.

“Y/N,” he pleads, but the sadder he looks, the more I don’t want to listen. So I look out the window instead. It was hot. Hot, hot, hot! Burning hot like red cups scorching my skin.

Jaebum sighs and begins to drive, then faster as we slip further into the night. Alex pleads through the radio speakers, “Call off the search for your soul, or put it on hold again.” And I want to close my eyes but I’m afraid the moment might just pass me when I finish blinking. I want to look at Jaebum but I’m afraid he’ll still look sad, so I keep my eyes staring out the window, at the orange glow of the street lamps that pass so quickly, they appear like a constant fire burning the way ahead.

And hands on me until I was just a part of the sea of skin. And there it was again, the smell of coffee! Darkness. Red, red darkness. And laughter everywhere except inside me.

“Y/N,” Jaebum whispers once more. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I say instinctively. I say it without even hearing him but I know what he is asking me. I know it by the way he frowns before his voice escapes him—hesitant to touch fire. Always hesitant.

“I’m fine,” I repeat again, but I look ahead of me and there only appears to be darkness throughout.

“I don’t know where I’m going.”

“It’s okay, just keep driving.”

“But to where?”

“I don’t know what you want from me.”

“I can’t just keep driving.”

“Why not?”

“I need a destination.”

“But isn’t it fine, just like this? Doesn’t it feel like we’re heading to some place real nice?”

Jaebum sighs but nods his head. He is quiet. And then finally, like an afterthought, though I know he meant to say it all along, he mumbles, “But we’re not.”

He stops the car, parking it by the curb of a 7-Eleven. The light from the store feels invasive, shining too much light on my face. Numb fingers crawling against the hardwood floor.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Pushing and pulling against limbs.

“Nothing.” Against the crushing air.

“You’ve been like this for months. Don’t you trust me?”

“It’s nothing.”Against the heavy heat.

“Y/N, say something else. What happened to us? I’m doing my best here, isn’t it enough?”

I want to tell him that it is, but it’s not. I want to tell him that it is anyways, but neither of us speak. It’s quiet. Quiet, like the voices drifting away while I drown. And then there was the hand that brought me back to the surface. But it was too late.

“Y/N,” Jaebum makes one last, desperate plead.

I shrug, lowering my eyes from the light of the store. “It’s really nothing.”

He answers with a sigh. With the click of his keys from the ignition, Jaebum leaves the car and Alex’s beckoning “come on, come on, come on” is abruptly ended. The car is silent. It’s the kind of silent that puts cold shivers down my spine. I want to leave but I fear the end of this silence is near, and when silences end, bad things happen.

Suddenly, it starts to snow.

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum says as he enters again with a cup in hand. Cool air wafts in and then it hits me.

The smell of coffee everywhere.

And suddenly the brown accents across me resemble hardwood floors. The seat is sweaty and hot. Too hot for comfort. Sweaty palms. Sweaty thighs. The air is heavy with words I can’t outthink. Come on, come on, come on. And the windows whisper “no escape.”

“I’m sorry!”

But it’s happening, I’m stuck, and the words won’t come to me.

“I’m so sorry.”

But all I can smell is coffee breath and hot laughter filling the crisp air with empty words. All I can see are red eyes as red as the cups and the stains.

It hurts to breath.

It hurts to feel.

Everything is just painful and I just want it to stop.

I want to rip at the sea of skin on my bones.

I want to be alone.

But Jaebum’s voice echoes still. “I’m sorry Y/N.”

And I think he means it this time, but my body is on fire and it hurts. So I pull the door handle against his “sorry”s and fall down on the ground.

The snow falls harder and harder, infinitely, but the feelings don’t stop and my skin still burns with the smell of coffee.