#literally as I'm typing rn the muscle in my forearm is burning just from the effort of moving my thumb | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

halogalopaghost · 5 months

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I can really judge how bad of a day I'm having based on how hard it is to get tucked in bed. Sometimes just lifting my weighted blanket to get under it is a HERCULEAN effort. Im working on coming to terms with the fact that this is not my fault.

#all my life I've been surrounded by people who tell me to be more active #exercise more #try yoga #go to the gym #just to discover now that I have hypermobility which is causing chronic pain #(and weight-based exercise was making it worse)#and also along the way I've developed POTS #depression and ADHD have always made focusing difficult and now I have 24/7 brainfog #like. I couldn't have prevented this #I couldn't have prevented it! nothing I could have done.#literally as I'm typing rn the muscle in my forearm is burning just from the effort of moving my thumb #that's not from 'sedentary lifestyle'#that's something I do every damn day that sometimes hurts for no reason #exercise isn't going to help that #it's not. my. fault.#at the same time I feel like I'm getting buried under the weight of these conditions #adhd and depression and autism(?) and chronic fatigue that MIGHT be fibromyalgia?#and I think about my biological father. who was a drug and alcohol addict and died at forty years old #I didn't get all of these conditions from my mother #I wonder if he was just coping #anyway that's enough introspection for tonight

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