#and I think about my biological father. who was a drug and alcohol addict and died at forty years old

[halogalopaghost]

I can really judge how bad of a day I'm having based on how hard it is to get tucked in bed. Sometimes just lifting my weighted blanket to get under it is a HERCULEAN effort. Im working on coming to terms with the fact that this is not my fault.

[hazbinbossbrainrot]

💖 Angel Dust 💖

VOs:

Michael Kovach (pilot)

Blake Roman (series)

Theme songs:

Canon:

AU:

Fave quote:

“IT’S NOT AN ACT!!! It's who I need to be. [Crosses arms to chest.] And this... [Gestures to the redlight street.] This is my escape! Where I can forget about it all! How much I hate... Everything. A place where I can get high, and not have to think about how much it hurts. And maybe... If I can ruin myself enough in the process, if I end up broken, I won't be his favorite toy anymore. And maybe he'll let me go...”

Basics:

True name: Anthony

Surname (AU): Romano-D'Amico

Birthday: 1st of April

Sex: Male

Year of Death: 1947

Cause of Death: Drug overdose (angel dust)

Sexuality: Gay

Age: 30s (biological)

Zodiac sign: Aries ♈️

Height: 8ft (including the heels he wears)

Nationality: Italian 🇮🇹

Bed type: Submissive

Species:

• Human being (formerly)

• Sinner Demon (jumping spider)

Style of speech: Slang

<> Accent(s):

<> New Yorker (standard)

<> Italian twang (when really emotional)

Occupation(s):

• Adult film star (pornography)

• Sex worker

• Drag queen

Other:

• Unnamed mafia (formerly 💀)

Likes:

• Husk (implied)

• Drugs

• Being abrasive

• Pranks

• Getting into scraps

• Cooking

• Flirting

• The colour pink

• Monetary gain

• Italian food

• Dancing (implied)

AU:

• Duets with Husk 🤭

• Pet names

<> Except for Whorebug (which is the only one he dislikes; most likely because that’s what Valentino calls him)

• Being called by his birth name

Dislikes:

• His feet

• Losing credibility

• Valentino’s abuse

• Memorising scripts

• Niffty getting into trouble

<> Niffty handling weapons

• Anyone pointing out his facade

<> Being called fake

• How expensive drugs & alcohol cost him

• Anyone else ending up like him

• Anyone discrediting his acting

• Charlie involving herself with Valentino’s affairs

• Forecast conditions

<> confirmed but not canonically shown yet ~ Viv stated that he doesn’t like weather the same way as a dog is scared of thunder

• Politics

AU:

• Being triggered when it comes to ownership of Angel & Husk’s (respective) “owners”

• Niffty being talked about (negatively)

• Kat’s life choices

<> Her occupation of being an exotic dancer (because it hits too close to home for Angel and wished she picked a more safer career)

<> Her doing drugs

<> Her rebellion

• Being called “kid” by Husk (considering technically Angel is older than him in Hell since he died first 🤣)

• People being ageist and vindictive about his relationship with Husk

Flaws:

• Agoraphobia (anxiety disorder)

<> PTSD

<> Panic disorder

<> Specific phobias

• Animotophobia (fear of emotions)

• Drug addict

• Victim of abuse (by Valentino)

<> Emotionally

<> Sexually (SA)

<> Mentally

<> Physically

• Neurotic

<> Particularly when really, really REALLY pissed off

• Alcoholic

• PTSD

<> Age regression (very common in people with PTSD)

• ADHD

• Self esteem issues (emotionally)

• Physical strength

• Low Frustrated Tolerance

• Self destructive

• Nymphomania (sex addict)

• Parasomnia

<> Night terrors

<> Insomnia

<> Sleep paralysis

<> Sexsomnia 🤣

• Borderline Personality Disorder (environmental)

Strengths:

• High alcohol tolerance

• Carnality

• Character growth (potentially)

<> To the point where Angel Dust may even drop his alias and just become “Anthony”

• Clean (drug-free)

• Physical attractiveness

Romantic interests:

Ex-boyfriend: Valentino (indirectly implied)

<> Definitely hinted at in the song “Poison” — obviously very early into the relationship before things went severely downhill

Husk (canonically implied)

AU/RP:

Stolas of the Ars Goetia (FWB / client)

Axel White (FWB / client)

Family:

Mother: Unnamed

Father: Henroin

(older) Brother: Arackniss

(fraternal) twin sister: Molly

Other (surrogate family):

(surrogate) Sister: Charlie Morningstar

(surrogate) Daughter: Niffty 😂

(surrogate) Daughter: Crymini (TBA)

Role-play (RP):

Husband: Husk 🤭

(surrogate) Sister: Snow Dust (OC)

(bio) Daughter 1#: Kat Dust (OC)

(Future) Daughter-in-law: T.J. Buckzo

(bio) Daughter 2#: Luster Dust (OC)

Aliases:

• Angie (by Cherri Bomb)

• Mi Amore (by Valentino 🤮)

<> Angel Cakes

• Whorebug (by Sir Pentious)

<> Spider

<> Striped Freak

• My Effeminate Fellow (by Alastor)

• Angel

• Slut (by Travis)

AU:

• Anthony (by Husk 🥰)

* Tony

* Ant

(Given the nickname because of how antsy Angel is and can be with his ADHD ~ also for the fact that it’s hilarious that he’s a spider only to be called another insect name)

<> Baby etc

<> Mama (affectionately)

<> Little Incubus

<> Loser (affectionately)

<> Baby doll / baby girl

• A.D. (by T.J., Snow Dust & Blitz)

• Papà (by Luster)

• Daddy (by Kat)

• Fratellino (by Arackniss)

Translation: “Little Brother”

<> Tony

• Romano-D’Amico (AU surname)

Affiliations:

• Hazbin Hotel (patron)

• Porn Studios (workplace)

• The Vee Tower (formerly residency)

<> Not confirmed but definitely implied in the music video “Poison” and “ADDICT”

Other:

• The Black Dot (1x04)

• Consent (1x06)

Friends:

• Charlie Morningstar

• Cherri Bomb (close friend)

• Niffty

• Husk (best friend — TBA)

<> Vivziepop has previously described Husk as Angel's "best friend" during later development streams for the pilot, suggesting that their relationship may be planned to greatly improve

Others:

• Fat Nuggets (pet)

Porn Studio employees (co-workers):

<> Dia

<> Summer

<> Kitty

<> Travis (client & director)

The Vees (acquainted):

<> Vox

<> Velvette

Hazbin Hotel employees (acquainted):

<> Alastor

<> Vaggie

• Sir Pentious (former enemy)

<> Egg Boiz (former enemies)

• Tiffany Titfucker (rival)

RP:

Axel (rival —> one sided)

Enemies:

• Valentino (boss, pimp, and owner)

• Sir Pentious (formerly)

• Exorcists

<> Adam

<> Lute

Abilities:

• Retractable set of arms

• Weapon proficiency

• Weather sensitivity

• Athleticism

• Cooking

• Bilingualism

<> Can speak one or two languages only; which is much different to multilingualism)

• Flexibility

Appearance & Personality:

Angel has a slender build and is the tallest of the main cast of characters. He is estimated to stand around 8 feet with his heels on.

His fur is white and he has a mop of fluffy white hair that extends from both the front and back of his head, with splotches of light-pink across it. He also has a distinctive and focal light-pink heart pattern on the back of his head. The light-pink outline of a heart also encircles his chest, the bottom point of which extends past his waistband and down to his crotch area.

His eyelids are light pink and the color extends up to his eyebrows, giving the effect of eyeshadow, and his lashes are dark and thick.

His irises are cerise pink. His right eye has a light yellow sclera, his left eye has a dark sclera. He has a wide mouth full of sharp, pointed teeth and possesses a single golden fang that sits slightly to his right of center, a feature he shares with his boss, Valentino. He has three cerise-pink dots under each of his eyes, which are intended to evoke freckles, although they are actually another set of smaller eyes.

One of Angel's most noticeable features is his prominent chest. The chest is actually composed entirely of fluffy fur, however, which Angel intentionally pushes up into a breast-like formation with his tightly pinned jacket for show.

Angel's everyday attire consists of a long light pink suit-blazer with horizontal white stripes down the length, reddish-grey miniskirt, and long reddish-grey thigh-high heeled boots, accessorized with a reddish-grey bowtie with a cerise pink center and a black choker. On his top set of arms he wears long cerise pink gloves with white detailing at the cuffs, on his bottom set of arms he wears long white gloves.

Though usually depicted with six limbs, Angel has a third retractable set of arms that he usually keeps hidden but can summon at will.

In background artwork seen in the pilot, Angel Dust's feet resemble those of a spider's.

How would you describe Angel Dust’s personality?

• Reckless

• Sexual (OTT)

• Sarcastic

• Sharp-witted

• Destructive

• Playful

• Vulgar

• Confident (excessive)

• Flippant

• Callous

• Cynical

<> Particularly about the idea of redemption however has a small hopeful part that it’s possible for him

As Anthony:

• Defensive

• Family orientated

• Shy

<> Through copping constant abuse from Valentino which would often make him nervous in his presence

• Hopeful

• Self assertive (outside the Porn Studios contract)

• Volatile

• Comedic (genuinely)

• Inferior

<> Seen when Charlie declared Sir Pentious as “official patron” at the Hazbin Hotel

• Attentive

<> Seen when Angel Dust rejected Cherri Bomb’s offered drugs after Husk mentioned about “undoing his progress”

• Protective

• Traumatised (via “Poison” at the end)

• Broken

Trivia:

• When it comes to physical contact Angel Dust always backs away (which is common in SA victims) seen with both Husk in “Masquerade” to bring him back to the hotel and Vaggie when throwing him off the building for a trust exercise

• The more Angel Dust (Anthony) gets upset the more his (New Yorker) accent gets thicker and automatically breaks out of his persona

• If Angel Dust hadn’t died at 30 years old he would have been around the same age as Husk if not somewhere between 12 years younger

<> However Angel is actually older than Husk down in Hell because he died first (which is kinda cool)

• Angel & Charlie have a “brother/sister” relationship (both Headcanon and implied but not confirmed)

• In a earlier draft of Angel’s character it appeared that when he blushed it showed on his upper body (face and chest area)

• Blake Roman (Angel Dust’s VA in the Hazbin Hotel series) is a huge Huskerdust fan

• Angel Dust’s birthday lands on April Fools Day (which explains he loves pranks so much 🤭)

• The name Anthony may come from the word "antonia", which means "priceless/praiseworthy and or beautiful".

<> His real name officially appears in the episode "Masquerade", signed on Valentino's soul contract.

• "Angel Dust" is Angel's chosen all-encompassing persona name, and one he uses exclusively in place of his actual name. It is intended as multipurpose for both his drag queen persona and his sex-work persona.[30] It is also a possible reference to his mode of death, a drug overdose.

* Whenever Angel is outside of work and doesn't feel the need to maintain his public persona, he prefers to dress in very cozy, comfortable, unsexualized clothing.

• In an earlier development stream, when asked if Angel is venomous, Vivziepop stated she did not think Angel was venomous due to being based on the jumping spider. However, she returns to this in a later stream, stating that Angel's bite may be venomous. But, that venom in Hell can't actually kill anyone, it just causes temporary pain or disfigurement and making them fall ill.

• During the gang war with Sir Pentious, when Angel's shadow is cast behind him, it appears much larger than him, with six arms and glowing red eyes. This implies that Angel can possibly transform into a larger form like other sinner demons.

References:

https://hazbinhotel.fandom.com/wiki/Angel_Dust

[justanothersyscourse]

Im sorry I dont support driving drunk but that reblog kinda showed that you dont know what its like to be an addict?

Alcoholism can literally get to the point of if you stop drinking suddenly the withdrawals could KILL YOU. yeah they should plan ahead for rides but your whole attitude of “they choose to drink!” Was lowkey shitty and borderline blaming addicts for their addiction. Its not always as simple as “just dont drink” if a buddy whips out some alcohol or whatever.

If drug addiction was that simple to just stop and never relapse ever I wouldve been sober years ago. Drunk driving is bad but you really didnt have to do what op said and demonize addicts in the process. You made it to be like being an addict is because were too selfish to try to get sober. Thats not how it works.

Bitch, I am Newfie and the child of addicts, not just biologically but environmentally. My entire life has revolved around my own and my famiy's addictions. I have been around heavy drugs since I was a child. Three or four years ago I was heavily addicted to alcohol, and was hospitalized, which is when I was forced to quit drinking. Not chose to, forced to.

Trust me, I know what is like, and it's not demonization to admit that there is a level of selfishness involved in addiction, but that's also not what I said.

Also, how are you really going to come in here, comparing who has the high ground? "If they DON'T drink they could die, so them getting behind the wheel is justified, and if they just so happen to kill people in the process, it's not their fault ): it was their life or the other person's life, because buddy whipped out alcohol."

It's literally not like that. That's the stupidest thing I've ever read. Go sit in the corner and think about what you said.

Don't come back.

Addiction is not the START of the choices. You don't choose to be addicted to something, it's the result of a million smaller choices, and it could have been stopped or changed at ANY point. There are choices that lead up to addiction, and if you're not doing anything to try to make yourself better, me calling you selfish isn't demonization.

Addiction isn't as simple as choices and selfishness, either. Most addicts have a dual diagnosis-- that is, another mental health problem driving them to seek some kind of solace in impairment. There are biological and neurological predispositions that make it easier for some to become addicted to something.

Let's put it in simpler terms.

My step father is a heavy alcoholic. The type that, my entire life, spent birthday, rent or food money on alcohol, that was hardly ever home because he was at the bar buying rounds for everyone. The type that made stupid financial decision after stupid financial decision that drove his family into the ground. He CANNOT stop drinking at this point-- not because he's incapable, but because when he's not drinking, he has seizures now.

That wasn't true twenty years ago, though.

He reached that point because of one million smaller, more selfish decisions that lead him there, and that's not demonization. He was still a good person, he had good intentions, he always wanted everyone to be happy and have a good time. He had trauma and wanted to be liked by people. Unfortunately, he thought the only way to have a good time was to be intoxicated, and in the process of trying to keep everyone else in his life happy, he hurt and alienated his wife and children, and now he has no one. I haven't spoken to him in almost five years.

He hasn't killed anyone yet, but he might, and my mom and I know that all too well.

You can't talk about drunk driving without talking about addiction, and you're acting like that entire conversation is demonization, rather than constructive discussion about the how, why, and possible steps and outcomes.

You're acting like even talking about an addicts' decisions is demonization. Or are you saying they're not capable of making decisions and we should just... Accept that, and whatever dumbass decisions they make on the basis that they're being driven to make those decisions by addiction and could die otherwise? Even if they might kill other people?

Like, what are you even saying?

Don't answer that, I don't actually care.

People are allowed to call addicts fools for their decisions and are allowed to cut those people out of their life for their own mental health, and are allowed to choose not to be involved in whatever shitty outcome they find themselves in (up to and including accidentally killing people while under the influence), and that's not fucking demonization.

Being an addict is not an unchangeable part of them, it's not something they're born with but it's also not something they actively choose, either.

It is very much a changeable thing, provided they're willing and want to change. The longer they wait, the harder it is. Many of these people are given chance after chance, warning after warning. They can see the consequences coming, clearly, and continue to choose to feed the addiction rather than the health of their loved ones and strangers.

I know this, because I had to make the choice. My husband, or drinking. My mental health, or drinking.

By the time they're in a full-blown addiction, people on the outside forget that there was an entire journey up to that moment. That there WERE other options, in the past.

Addicts are very much victims of circumstances and biology, but the discussion around the effects and consequences of those addictions are not demonization. They're not inherently bad people, the discussions aren't bad, leaving a situation isn't bad.

What's bad is, using your example, choosing to pick up the bottle without a ride home, and without considering the harm that could be done to others because satiating your addiction is now more important than the innocent lives of others.

Talking about my biological father's death and the deaths he caused and how he ended up there isn't demonization.

It's a horrible true story that should serve as a reminder when people have to make their own decisions.

[brittanyautumn333]

I fought a generational curse this year (and won 🏆)

Tw: Addiction/Alcoholism

My entire family are addicts and alcoholics. My biological grandfather died of cirrhosis at 35, while my grandma was pregnant with my mom. He gave me and my mom a wonderful gift of liver disease. 😍🥰 thanks grandpa! His dad before him was a drunk too. My bio father is an addict, and spent 15 years in federal prison for drug and weapons trafficking.

When I got into astrology and saw my chart, I saw my Virgo north node and Pisces south node. My grandma shares this placement too. She’s an opioid addict, and is currently on hospice care due to a stroke that was induced by an overdose. She takes enough fentanyl patches to paralyze a horse. Pisces south node speaks on my life lesson being managing my need to escape. Escapism comes in many forms. Sex, drugs, socializing…just any refusal to sit alone with negative thoughts. A dude I’m (sorta??) talking to has this placement too - but he can’t do drugs, so he absolutely escapes through casual sexual encounters.

What do we hope to escape you may ask? That Virgo north node gives us the drive to help others. The problem is when we take on too much, and feel that saying no is impossible. We set an expectation with the people around us that we WILL always help, so when we set a boundary, we are met with pushback. As naturally helpful souls, it hurts us to see people around us hurt. So we think “well…ok” and the cycle of not being able to say no repeats.

Last year, I met someone who got me into hard drugs. It was a man that I literally had no business canoodling with. My best friends had started pulling away from me prior, and I needed a friend. It was nice when I could go to his place, and we ski ❄️ and talk for hours. It was mostly him talking shit about his ex wife and the women he was trying to date. I had no interest in dating a man in his 40s with a coke problem. I just enjoy feeling helpful, even if that means just listening. So I kept going back, even though we couldn’t even canoodle because he couldn’t get hard 😭😂

I wouldn’t even call it an “addiction”. But I was definitely participating more than I had anticipated. To the point where I started to crave it.

I have so much shame and guilt about me letting it get to that point.

I had a horrible nightmare in January. In it, I was using, then blacked out and woke up behind the wheel of a vehicle that was NOT mine on the wrong side of the highway. I called my best friend in the dream, she didn’t answer. Then, I flashed forward to someone’s house. It was a couple and I was picking up ❄️. All of a sudden, cops pull up outside, and the dude is actually trying to strangle me.

I woke up literally sweating and in tears. I quit completely cold Turkey and flushed a $200 bag down my toilet the moment I woke up. When I have dreams like that, there is a message. Shortly after, I stopped being able to tolerate any alcohol at all.

I think the divine creator gave a wiggle of their finger and said “uhn uhhh”. I’ve got a 4th house stellium, I’m on this EARTH to break these generational curses.

Im so thankful that I was guided out of one.

[xoteajays]

Ju never had women in her life, besides the neighbor lady that helped Ju from time to time (like buying groceries for Ju and her father, even cooking them meals when the father was too busy working three jobs - things like that). But no mother, sisters, aunts, cousins. No female in her life. She was shy meeting Gun's mother. But you notice how really happy she was to have a proper homecooked meal by a mother, and I can see she was also happy when Gun's mother offered to teach her a few of the family recipes so she could cook for herself. Which was the sweetest moment between them too. And during their conversation.. Those boys were already on their three plate of food, where really Ju's on only on her first plate. I'm happy they're healthy, but they just have share the food. At least no food would ever go to waste with them.

But it was too funny that Gun's mother was going to cook more of the rolled omelettes so Ju could have some, and then the boys chime in a bit because they want to eat more omelettes. They're really gluttons.

And yes. Gun's mother is always looking after everyone. She is always making should they eat, bathe and sleep. Checking their injuries. And just treating them like her own family every time they're around her.

And Gun being a mama's boy is so adorable.

I'm desensitized to violence. But that is because I am also into a lot of gory horror movies too, not just psychological or supernatural horror.

Shows, movies, games, even music videos. I'm desensitized to violent tendencies. But I know everyone has their limitations to these actions though.. I should've warned you. Wait! I mentioned that scene before.

But I have to agree with Choi, Yang and Lee in this scene though. Like with the younger main characters.. They have an idealistic view of the world, and the older main characters have realistic views of the world.

Obviously no one wants their loved ones to die for any reason so I can see why the younger characters have an idealistic view that, "That the bad guy with be imprisoned, and every will life happily ever after with the world being a better place." But men like Choi, Yang and Choi who were criminals know the realistic views of criminal life. Especially how men like Myeong-gil operates, a man who was in prison where he has met men like Inbeom (who is his "brother"). Men like Myeong just has no morals, they will say or do whatever they want. Including murder. And that's what the older generation was trying to say to the younger generation. To be prepared for anything, especially deaths of people.

If it wasn't for the fact that Ju's biological father was dead, I would've thought Lee could have been or father. Or even an older sibling. Since they looked so similar like that. But I'm happy they even mentioned it, even if that was said jokingly with the group. And yes! Yang and Lee is the cool uncles who teach their children how to fight in any situations that might be life threatening. Should've been more bonding scenes.

But I love how authentic the details, and the effects, are for this show. Dohwan and Sangyi also using real boxing techniques for example.

Without spoilers.. You'll hate episode six. That's all I will say about it.

~

I've known people in my family who were gamblers, alcoholics, drug addicts, sex addicts (including offenders).. Just about type of person who could think of. To this day I never understood why people always turn out like that at all. Don't get me wrong! I'll drink alcoholic, but I'm not an alcoholic. But why waste your money on habits like gambling a lot of time, when you know these games are rigged by casino owners. Whether you go to a casino, animal tracks - like racing tracks for dogs and horses, or really any other place to gamble. Every game is rigged.

Yet they continue wasting their time and money on habits like this.

I never understood why.

One of many reasons why I hate my family now that I think about it.

Yeah.. I think there was one or two fight scenes for Takeru, there were scenes where he was teaching Hiroto and Masaki how to fight in very proper ways. But you never see him fighting, despite being the strong brother amongst the three. So that was disappointing. And any fights you see of him afterwards, was the shootout with the Kuryu groups.

Takeru deserved better.

I thought that! Like does Hiroto end up crushing on Shizuka because she reminds him of Takeru? Or was that just a coincidence? And does she baby him? Well.. Maybe not baby him. But I don't know where I'm turning to go with this. What is their possible dynamic between them.

I still don't know which ships I'll have for my characters. Obviously the one possible ship between Cobra and OC, maybe even someone with Rocky. But that's it. And those are just the potential romantic ships.

There's too many pretty boys to choose from.

Then I would feel really horrible if that happen... Rocky finally decides to go on vacation after a long time so he could destress from working all the time, just to find out that a war broke out while he was away at that time. Don't get me wrong. He trusts people to take care of things while he's away until he got there. Despite Kizzy's childishness, he will trust the White Rascals to protect all his territories. Including SWORD leaders, especially Cobra, seem reliable enough to help as allies in the warring situations like this. Because I can imagine Cobra doing this.

~

Like I said.. If my repetitive behaviors bother you, just tell me because I'll try making attempt to fix that. I can't promise it. But I might try to.

Since I know my repetitive behavior bothers people.

~

Which Korean fandoms did you write for? And which face claims have you used for your original characters?

~

I think Sweet Home was an okay show. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it like I thought I would. Nothing against the acting. That acting is fine to me. But the special effects, especially for the monsters, could have been better in my opinion. Which was disappointing for me. Because I have seen plenty of Netflix shows and movies where there was lots of amazing special effects, but then horrible effects for series like Sweet Home. Hopefully the next season would be better, at least improved a lot compared to the first season. So we'll have to see what happens.

I know the actor of the shapeshifting monster from another show too. And I know Song Kang is a diverse actor, mainly on Netflix shows and movies. But I have really seen his other works. If I decide to watch any more of his works anyway. But I do know he's a popular actor though.

Oh! I know you're a fan of All Of Us Are Dead. No official date yet but I think the new season might be coming out sometime next year too.

ju and su yeon are having a touching conversation and ju is having a female figure for like the first time in her life; and gun and jin are shoveling food in their mouths like they’ll die otherwise. and then the gall to ask for more omelette!! y’all are lucky gun’s mum is so nice and likes y’all so much!

yea i re-brought it up because you mentioned it. just to say eugh! yucky! can handle torture scenes but also. gross icky imagining that on my skin. but also just slap a handful of wet salt on me. i feel like the sensory feeling of that would be good without the sander wound part.

i think ju is pretty unprepared for anyone’s deaths. maybe because she lost her dad so young and she doesn’t want it to happen again. even if choi died of natural causes, i don’t think she could handle it. it feels like she’s pushed it aside as something that could happen, and then when it becomes a possibility, she kind of freaks out. like when choi said he could die or gun and jin being attacked in the underground.

yang and lee are so fun uncle vibes when they’re not doing the whole. murder thing. the whole scene in the restaurant was such a cute lil slice-of-life moment.

i know something bad is going to happen. i knew it from the second i saw the wife was pregnant. bad shit always goes down in shows like this when someone’s pregnant, even if not to the pregnant person.

~

i’m lucky to have not had any addicts or anything in my family, but the misfortune of just. so many family members with untreated mental illnesses and mental disorders. because that’s just the culture that the previous generations of my family was raised in. they don’t do the whole ‘therapy’ thing, and it’s only recently that my mother is considering it as an option and telling her siblings with young children - because my brother was tested for autism and i had to go to therapy for anxiety and depression. she also has untreated depression and my dad’s got. a lot of ignored issues.

justice for takeru dying and not getting to be a cool badass with the rest of the gangs! god he could’ve slotted right in there with the kohaku, tsukumo, amamiya brother quad. i think it would’ve been cool to see him fight genji, since apparently they were supposed to be the best. maybe he would’ve be a lil too op so they had to take him out.

i don’t remember nearly enough about takeru actually. just how he looked ahdhdld. shizuka doesn’t necessarily baby him, but she does always have a big sister vibe. she probably flusters him a bit because she’s so casual with her affection. hiroto probably sees her in a fight one night outside the bar and has a lil ‘oh’ moment, because she’s pretty and badass, cracking into his stone heart. masaki is teasing him for his crush later.

rocky’s hauling back from his vacation real quick to help because he is the leader and he can’t just sit back. cobra’s come to help out because they’re buddies. when all is said and done, koo feels so bad that rocky had to come back early and just apologising over it, meanwhile kizzy’s like ‘that shit was crazy omg!!’. total opposites.

~

i haven’t written for a long of korean fandoms (yet). i wrote a fic for squid game, and i did a lil bit for all of us are dead. as for fcs not all were for korean media, but i’ve used seo soojin, kang mina, kim go eun, lee yoo mi, go min si, yeom yoon hye; i’ve been wanting to use kim yong ji, rosé, han so hee, probably a couple others i can remember right now.

~

the acting was good, like i said i liked go min si and song kang. it just didn’t hit, i didn’t necessarily love it as much as i hoped either. but i don’t hate it enough that i wouldn’t watch the second season.

yeaaaa i’m excited to see how they develop the show. i know it was based on a manga/webcomic, but i feel like there’s a lot of directions they could take it.

if we’re comparing, i feel like all of us are dead did the ‘locked up in a building in an apocalypse situation with a bunch of semi-strangers and monsters’ better than sweet home. just imo.

[briamichellewrites]

43

brielikethecheese: Whoever is going to the media about me, fucking stop it! It’s none of their fucking business! I’m so ready to just pack up all my shit and move to Paris. The apartment I was staying at kicked me out and I have nowhere to go. Just please leave me alone. I’m already dealing with shit in my head and I don’t need any bs ‘concern’. This has nothing to do with Mike or my divorce.

Brie was living in her car because she didn’t have anywhere else to go. She was angry, which was evident in her post. Her account was made private, making it hard for anyone who wasn’t following her to see her posts. She also deleted all of her followers. Her friends and family had no idea what was going on. Was this just an episode of depression or was she asking for help? She refused to go to rehab. Rob had tried talking to her in the parking lot after she ran out of the studio.

He talked about his memories of her when she was younger. Just when he thought he saw a breakthrough, she flipped a switch and denied needing help. He saw the pain in her eyes. Even though they weren’t as close as they used to be, he still wanted to be there for her. He wanted to wrap her in his long arms and never let her go. But, he couldn’t. He also saw the little girl inside of her begging to be loved.

Rob’s here! Rob’s here! He remembered as she would jump up and down in excitement when he came home from school every day. His parents used to watch her because her parents were never around to take care of her. He and his younger brother, David would come home to a toddler, who just wanted to play. She would hug his legs because he was so tall. That made them laugh. They were allowed to play with her for a while. Then, they had to get on with their homework.

In 1997, he went off to college leaving her behind. Then, he joined Linkin Park and his world changed forever. He no longer came home as often and he lost contact with her. His mother was a licensed therapist. Maybe she could help her. He decided to call her.

Patty listened to her son explain what was going on with Brie. Since she knew her personally, she couldn’t have her as a client because it would be a conflict of interest. He didn’t know that. It was worth a try, though. Did she remember anything from when she used to babysit her? She remembered her being very curious about everything and wanting attention.

She loved him. Yeah, he also remembered that. She also remembered her having depression. Her parents didn’t believe in depression or mental illness. She tried to get her help, even offering to pay for sessions. Even though they could afford it. They still said no. She decided not to push it and overstep. Did she ever receive treatment? He thought she was going to therapy sessions, but he didn’t know how frequently she went. She was diagnosed with postpartum bipolar disorder.

Her biological father’s father had severe mental illness and addiction problems. He had schizophrenia and bipolar. That’s what he thought Phoenix had told them. He was also a drug addict and alcoholic, who may have been abusive to her father, Bruce. She was very close with him and her sister.

“Everything is just confusing right now. We have no idea what she’s going through because she’s not telling us anything. She’s very angry and Mike thinks she’s going through an episode of bipolar. But, we’re not sure. He doesn’t think it has anything to do with their divorce. Just that she’s angry in general. She was just in the hospital for an accidental overdose.”

Brie was photographed crying while sitting on a parking lot cement block. The pictures were sent to TMZ, who published them. She looked horrible with her beautiful long hair a mess and her clothes looked like they had been slept in. As shocking as the pictures were, everyone was angry at the media for making fun of her. She was having some type of mental breakdown and she was being exploited, just so people could laugh at her.

Since she was homeless, they couldn’t go over to her place and check on her. Phoenix tried texting her but he received no response. He googled her name to see if he could find anything recent. No. Mike told him to let her go. She would return when she wanted to.

brielikethecheese: I’m not here for your entertainment. You don’t really want to mess with me tonight. Just stop and take a second. I was fine before you walked into my life.

Brie was kicked out of a café for sitting at a table and not ordering anything. She got up and walked out. Even though she wanted to knock a table over, she was stopped before she could even begin to do it. Outside, she sat on the cement block. The manager came out and told her he was going to call the police if she didn’t leave. Someone with a camera phone recorded everything.

“You said I couldn’t stay inside. I’m just sitting here.”

“You need to leave. You’re loitering.”

“I don’t want your stupid coffee anyway.”

She was about to start crying again but she walked away. The video was leaked to TMZ, who of course uploaded it for the whole world to see. Bruce watched the video with Patti. They saw their little girl in pain. She would never argue with an employee when she was sober but she wasn’t thinking rationally. People were doing everything they could to make fun of her.

She was the next Lindsay Lohan. A talented star, who was losing her career to drugs. Mental illness and addiction were not funny. Something was going on but nobody knew what it was. Everywhere she went, she was asked to leave. She eventually made it to Brad and Elisa’s. They told her she couldn’t come in because they had their kids. She went back to her car and got in without saying anything to them. Even though they wanted to help her, they needed to think about their children.

One… two… three… four. I found you! Rob was lost in his memories. Four years old. She had a lot of energy, as did most children her age. One of her favorite games was Hide and Seek. It was hard to hide because he was so tall. She was always excited when she found him. They would play until it was time for a nap. She would say she wasn’t tired before falling asleep somewhere in the house.

One time, his mother found her in the laundry basket curled up in a princess dress. It was adorable. They always wondered what she would grow up to be. Being a drug addict never crossed their minds. The band would have loved to have known her when she was younger because she was so full of energy and she loved entertaining people. Joe would have loved joking around with her. She would have made long days in the studio more enjoyable.

“Bourdie…”, Phoenix called out.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“We were just talking about getting pizza.”

“Yeah, I’ll have some pizza.”

Brad came over and sat next to him while Phoenix and Mike talked to Joe and Chester about what kind of pizza they wanted. He asked him how he was doing because he was distracted. Yeah, he was just thinking about when Brie was younger. He regretted not being as close with her as Phoenix and Mike were. Life happened. He couldn’t go back and change it. What did he think was going on? He thought she was angry at everything and everyone.

She also probably felt like everyone was abandoning her. He had no idea how he knew that. It was just a feeling he had. He thought that was entirely possible. Who did she have besides them as friends? Nobody. Yeah, exactly. Maybe Elisa and Linsey. Brad would mention his theory to Mike and Phoenix. Did he want to come over and hang out? Sure, he could do that. Awesome. He patted his shoulder.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia @boricuacherry-blog

[peaachykeeen]

a ✨brief rant✨ if you will

so here’s the thing abt losing ur childhood to a mother who is both an alcoholic and a drug addict, abusive in every sense of the word, a father who is incredibly absent bc he works away most of the time and being the one to raise your siblings: it’s really fucking lonely. like, i’m hyper independent and struggle to accept help from people and will find myself being jealous of people who have parents that love them, or families that care for their well being etc etc. best example? i was jealous of one of my closest friends for years bc someone who they loved was recovered. THATS FUCKED UP!!! and it honestly wasn’t about either of them it was legit just because i wanted my bio mom to recover and love me. and now, i’ve spent the my life taking care of everyone around me in an effort to not be my parents and have lost my identity both in that, and years of mental illness and i’m at the point where i don’t want therapy or to talk it to death or whatever i just want to be okay. i just wanna be a happy lil 21 year old who feels some sense of direction in life but instead, now that my bio mom is sober (thanks to an accident that almost killed her and has caused a life altering brain injury that i blamed myself for until recently) all i want as a daughter is to know her and spend time with her. but as a person, i don’t think i’ll ever forgive the things she did or said. i don’t think i’ll ever forgive the things she allowed others to do and say. but i’m both a person and a daughter and am literally unable to outrun my biological desire to know this god awful intellectually defective person that she is!! and my father is a whole other story but basically he’s decided i am the biggest disappointment when really, we should all just be shocked that i’m alive and living a relatively normal life?? like bro i am genetically inclined to be just as fucking crazy and unstable as bio momma is but here i am with a stable job where i’m pretty damn valued as an employee (people pleasing is a bad habit 0/10 do not recommend) and financially independent so am i a disappointment or a miracle?? no one knows honestly. i’m a wreck but i hide it pretty good like no one knows so?? i’d like to think we’re ok. maybe. considering getting a work visa and moving to australia. who knows.

[angellesword]

MAGIC SHOP | JJK (10)

Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?

Alternatively:

“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”

Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader

Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.

Warnings: mention of drugs (OC’s mom is a drug addict) character death, alcohol, psychological manipulation, physical abuse,

Chapter’s OST: Rewrite the Stars by James Arthur and Anne-Marie

Word Count: 3.8k

Series: CHAPTER 9 | CHAPTER 11

You moved into the mansion of the Kims a few months prior to Jong-in's death, meaning you met Soojin before Jungkook met her.

Back then, it was just you and your sister. No Jungkook in sight, no Jungkook to mess up with Soojin's heart.

Most importantly, Jungkook was exclusively yours. He was your best friend when you were six, but he became Soojin's crush when you were sixteen.

"What's that?" Sixteen years old Soojin asked upon seeing you open a purple box wrapped into a fancy ribbon.

"Oh," you stopped fiddling with the box to look at Soojin. She was still wearing her gown even though the party had ended hours ago.

You and Soojin celebrated your sixteenth birthday today—wait. This wasn't right. Admittedly, you didn't get to celebrate at all. Everyone was focused on your sister. She said she wanted a big party and because her family loved her so much, they gave her what she wanted.

How could they say no to the youngest and only daughter of Kim Taemin?

They were wrong though. Soojin wasn't the only daughter of Taemin. You existed too. The Kims just didn't know you were a part of their family too.

All they knew was that you're one of the charity cases of the head of their family. The Kims thought Taemin saw potential in you that was why he sheltered you. Taemin made his family think you're going to be an asset in Castle Architectural Firm, that allowing you to live in their mansion would pay off soon.

They were wrong. You were not an asset. You were a liability.

"It's a gift..." Sixteen years old you answered Soojin, a smile bloomed on your face as you ran your thumb over the ribbon. "Jungkook gave me a gift for my birthday."

Jungkook was the one and only person who remembered to give you a present. You said it wasn't necessary, that you're already content with the fact that he didn't forget your special day.

"Special people deserve gifts, Tiger." You remembered Jungkook telling this to you while ruffling your hair and scrunching his nose. "You're a gift too! A blessing who makes me happy."

Your heart fluttered at that. Jeon Jungkook really believed you were a blessing.

"Jungkook?" Soojin folded her arms over her chest, her brows furrowed. "As in Jeon Jungkook? My escort Jungkook?"

Your sister gave you a wild look, as if she couldn't believe someone like Jungkook would give you a present.

"Yes." You answered, avoiding her gaze.

Jungkook attended Soojin's sweet sixteenth party. Today was actually the first time they saw each other. Taemin realized it's time for his daughter and son's best friend to meet, mainly because they could be partners in the future.

This was Taemin's plan all along. The only reason why it took him long to introduce them together was because of you. He was afraid Jungkook would accidentally reveal to the Kims about you being an illegitimate child.

Taemin brushed off this worry now. He knew Jungkook cared about you, he wouldn't just go around telling people about your secret. Besides, he's a grown man already. He could handle secrets.

Originally, Jungkook attended the party because he wanted to see you. He wasn't at the venue for Soojin, he was just a guest anyway. Unfortunately, Yugyeom, Soojin's escort, couldn't make it since he was sick. This forced Jungkook to act on behalf of Yugyeom—to be a proxy.

Soojin was too proud to ask her brothers to stand and sit beside her throughout the entire program. She didn't want to look like no other boys wanted to be her so-called 'date' during her birthday celebration so she accepted Jungkook.

Soojin instantly fell for him. How could she not? Jungkook was perfect. He was endearing. His presence emanated comfort. It was probably because he had this soft look in his brown eyes and lips that were always forming into a gentle smile.

It was like you were safe when you're around him, as if nothing could ever go wrong. He looked at you and brought you into another world, a world where everything was sunshine and butterflies.

"But why?" Soojin whined. She was glaring at you. "Why would Jungkok give you a present? It's my birthday! Not yours!"

Of course she didn't know it was your birthday too. Taemin told you to keep it a secret for a while. You agreed because you didn't want the Kims to hate you. You wanted them to be comfortable around you before you revealed the truth to them.

Because if they ended up hating you, where would you go? Sin-ae barely acknowledged your presence in this house. You remembered her sneering at her husband for taking an 'orphan' in their custody.

One wrong move in your part and you'd belong in the trash can. Your mother wasn't fit to look after you anymore. Even if you wanted to go with her, you couldn't. The law wouldn't allow it. She was a danger to you. She was a druggie.

"Did you steal it?" Soojin scurried towards your direction, grabbing the box and hissing when you gaped at her.

"This is mine. Look! It says happy birthday!" Soojin threw daggers at you before opening the box. She gasped upon seeing a set of Farnsworth House LEGO Architecture, prompting her to believe that the gift definitely belonged to her.

Soojin's dream was to be an architect.

"N-No, Soojin-ah. Jungkok gave that—"

"Liar!" Your sister was fuming. She held the box in her arms firmly. "It's for me! You just stole it!"

You shook your head as you tried to take back what's yours. Regrettably, Soojin was unrelenting. She pushed your chest away, causing you to tumble down.

Soojin looked taken aback. She didn't mean to harm you. It's just that you're getting on her nerves.

"Oh my! I'm sorry!" Her eyes widened. She finally let go of the gift box to help you get up, however before you could reach for her hands, the door of your room swung open, revealing your father.

"What is happening here?" His voice sounded like loud thunder, startling Soojin. Her eyes dilated more, fear consumed her immediately that she ended up sputtering lies.

"Dad! This orphan stole Jungkook's gift for me!" She didn't mean it. She didn't want to lie, but she was scared. She knew how this scene looked like. You were on the floor, she was reaching out to you. Anyone who didn't know what happened would immediately think she hurt you.

She did, although Soojin didn't want to acknowledge that.

"I—I didn't steal anything!" You raised your voice because just like Soojin, you were afraid too. You were afraid and frustrated. Your father was looking at you as if you had disappointed him. You always looked up to Taemin, the fact that he was staring at you like that pained you.

"It's my birthday too! Jungkook and I are best friends! H-He gave me a gift." You trembled as you explained.

Soojin just scoffed though.

"Why do you keep lying? It's not your birthday! You're an orphan! Your parents probably left you on a gutter." She looked at you like you were a piece of garbage. "I know you don't have an identity but please stop stealing what's mine."

You couldn't believe it. Soojin was so mean that tears uncontrollably trickled down your face.

"I'm not an orphan. I have a family—"

Your father cut you off by directing his glare to your sister.

"Soojin." He uttered sternly. "Stop being mean to her. She's your sister."

"She is not my sister!" Soojin groaned. "I don't want her lying ass to be part of our family—"

"I told you to stop it!" You didn't know why your heartbeat doubled upon hearing your father's scream.

Was it because you're happy he was finally defending you? Or was it because you felt bad for your sister? He didn't have to shout at her face like that.

Soojin thought the same way too. Taemin never once raised his voice at her.

"I hate you! You don't love me anymore!" Soojin shoved her father's chest and then she stormed out of the room to go to her mother.

Everything happened as fast as Soojin's tears cascaded down her cheeks. She was annoyed and hurt and betrayed. She told Sin-ae the same lies she said to her father: that you stole Jungkook's gift for her and instead of being reprimanded, Taemin sided with you.

Sin-ae was raging upon knowing this. She was screaming bloody murder. She didn't understand why Taemin sided with an orphan like you instead of Soojin, his biological daughter.

"Because she's my daughter too! My flesh and blood!"

Chaos.

The Kims were in chaos when Taemin finally admitted the truth. He did it because he was getting tired of Sin-ae's loud voice, he also couldn't listen to Soojin's whine anymore. He was triggered by the way his two sons looked at him too—as if he was a scum.

It was a heartbreaking day for the Kims, but it was the time when you felt like you could finally breathe.

You missed calling Taemin 'father,' for months, he trained you to call him 'Sir.' Now that his family knew the truth, everything could go back to normal.

Except it didn't happen.

The Kims were colder to you. Sin-ae's actions were mostly uncalled for. She hated you to death. You were aware Seokjin and Namjoon felt the same way as well.

But Soojin....she wasn't like the rest of them.

"So you're really my sister, huh?" Soojin raised a brow at you two weeks after she found out the truth. She ignored you for days so you were surprised now that she was speaking to you again.

"Y-Yeah." You looked away, bracing yourself with the nasty things you thought she'd say.

Soojin simply smiled though.

"Great! I always wanted a sister! I'm happy I have you!" And then she embraced you.

It was an odd feeling, but it didn't mean you hated it. You were actually grateful for Soojin. She always reminded you that you two were siblings.

"I'm your sister, that means you're gonna do anything for me, right?"

You nodded. You always did. Anything for lovely Soojin.

"Help me get close to Jungkook! He's so nice! I wanna be friends with him too!"

It was fine. Everything was fine. Everything was going well. You were happy. Very, very happy.

You had Soojin. She loved you. She treated you like a family even though your father, your own father, was cold to you.

You believed he'd be able to show you how much he loved you the moment the truth was revealed. Sadly, you're wrong.

Taemin became distant. He barely looked at you. He didn't even defend you when Sin-ae did something terrible.

It was just Soojin who helped you. She sometimes defended you from her mother.

"Mother! Don't shout at her! She just wants to have fun. Midterm week is really stressful." You remembered the time your sister stopped her mother from slapping you.

You were seventeen that time. Soojin wanted to go to a club and party hard because midterm week, just like what she had said, was super stressful. Soojin forced you to go with her. She got drunk but you couldn't. Who would take care of her if you chose to drink too?

You had to drag Soojin home and help her sober up. Unfortunately, Sin-ae found out about what happened. Soojin told her mother it was your idea to go clubbing.

You didn't have the heart to go against your sister. She's your only ally. Besides, she saved you from her mother. She cared about you.

"Do not defend her, Kim Soojin! She's an abomination. She's gonna drag you down with her!" Regrettably, Sin-ae couldn't be stopped. She still ended up beating the shit out of you.

Soojin cried upon seeing you covered with bruises and blood. She kept apologizing but you simply brushed her off.

"Did you at least have fun?" You asked her.

Soojin only cried harder. You were always there for her. She appreciated that, she really did. But it wasn't enough to come clean to Sin-ae. She didn't want to look like a brat in front of her mother.

Sin-ae was the only one who loved Soojin with all of her heart. Your sister suspected that your father knew about the bad things she had been doing and that she's just putting the blame on you. She wasn't sure why Taemin was acting blind though.

Why hadn't he said anything? Why was he allowing her to continue to hurt you?

Soojin would probably never know the answer. This was why she didn't want to get on her mother's bad side. If ever Taemin decided he couldn't tolerate her anymore, then Soojin could at least seek the help of her mother.

But it was hard for Soojin. She felt bad when every time she blamed you for her wrongdoings, she saw how Taemin discreetly shook his head as if he's telling her he's disappointed with her.

You noticed it too. You were certain your father was ignoring the fact that you were hurt just so he could save Soojin's face.

At the age of nineteen, you finally confronted Taemin about this. You honestly didn't care that your sister was putting all the blame in you. You could handle it. What you hated was when your father pretended like you didn't exist, like he wasn't bothered Sin-ae was hurting you.

It was unfair. He hated your mother for physically abusing you before. Why couldn't he stop his wife from doing the same thing?

Was it because he loved Sin-ae?

It didn't matter. His reason didn't matter. You were done. You had to tell him what you feel.

So you did.

"Tell me, father..." You glowered as you harshly wiped the blood on the side of your mouth.

Sin-ae slapped you again. She hurt you because you accidentally broke her favorite teacup.

"Why are you always so hard on me?" You made sure to give him the most somber look you could muster, thinking it would cause him to feel something.

Love maybe? Or guilt?

You realized Taemin wasn't guilty the moment he responded to your question.

"Because I want you to be strong."

Such a cruel thing to say.

"This isn't how you make someone strong, father. You're not helping me—" You smiled although it didn't reach your eyes."—You're breaking me."

"Hey, are you still there?" You snapped out of your trance when you heard Jimin spoke.

He was on the other line, video calling you.

"Yeah. Sorry." You bit your bottom lip, smiling sheepishly at your roommate. It was the middle of the night in New York yet he still chose to call you—to be with you during this hard time. The least thing you could do was pay attention to him. "What were you saying again?"

Jimin sighed, not because he had to repeat his statement, but because he was worried about you. You always listened to him despite being tired. This was the first time you seemed so...out of it.

You could not focus on anything else. All that was on your mind was your father.

Your father who just died.

He died four days after you went back to Seoul.

"Tae said he couldn't make it. He's..." Jimin swallowed hard. He wasn't sure what words to use to describe your brother's current state. "He's devastated. He locked himself in your room after I told him what happened. Yoongi-hyung tried to talk to him but he doesn't want to see anyone right now."

You were positive Taehyung regretted his decision to stay in New York. You knew you should be comforting him right now, telling him that it's okay, that he couldn't possibly know that your father was going to die.

But you couldn't say any of those things. You'd be lying if you said you didn't resent him.

You did.

If Taehyung was here, you'd at least have the chance to talk to your father. Sin-ae wouldn't succeed in pushing you away if you just came with Taehyung.

It was unfair. Taehyung couldn't see your father because he was thousands of miles away from home. But you?

You were here. You were a few feet away from your father, yet you didn't get the chance to see him.

You were willing to see Taemin. Taehyung wasn't. He was given a chance. You weren't.

The world was unfair.

You had every right to hate your father after everything he had put you through; however, you couldn't. Not really. You loved him more than you hated him.

He was your father. He was mean to you for more than ten years, but he was also kind to you when you were younger. He wasn't always by your side, but you still felt how much he loved you.

"But don't worry, okay? He'll come around. Yoongi-hyung and I aren't going to give up on him." Jimin assured you.

"Thanks, Jimin-ah." The smile you rendered was sweet, you even batted your eyelashes at him, making him blush.

It wasn't your intention to flirt with Jimin or to string him along. But you were drunk. As fuck.

It seemed like this was the only thing you're good at. Sin-ae didn't let you see her husband, not before he died and not even after he died.

You weren't allowed to step foot in the mansion too. Your brothers, as much as they wanted to side with you, stopped themselves. Their mother was their priority. Sin-ae acted as if she's going to faint whenever you were around.

Seokjin and Namjoon didn't have a choice but to tell you to go. Soojin, on the other hand, didn't have a say in the matter. Literally. She was too injured to even speak.

And Jungkook...

Ah. Jeon Jungkook.

Damn Jeon Jungkook who couldn't leave you alone.

The first time you saw him after two years, he looked at you indifferently, like everything had changed. But when it's just the two of you, it was like the past nineteen months didn't happen.

He was back in your life. He was acting like a damn lost puppy, always following you.

Even now actually.

You were currently in a bar. You knew it's too early to be here, the sun was still shining brightly. You didn't care though. You had nothing better to do anyway.

You were sick staring at the cracked ceiling of your motor lodge room. Yeah, that's right. You were so broke you couldn't even afford to rent a decent hotel room.

Jungkook offered to let you stay in his apartment though. You were just too stubborn to agree.

You were tired of his face too. He's everywhere. He was on your mind, in your heart, and in the bar too. Admittedly, you could feel his piercing glare.

Jungkook was seated on a table near the window while you settled on a bar stool on the bar counter.

You realized Jungkook listened to your threat. You specifically told him just this morning that you didn't want him near you. He should at least be four meters away in order to be allowed in the same place as you.

You didn't need him to baby you, to try and fix you. You were sad because your father died, he's worried, you got it, but he was getting out of his way for you.

Jungkook rented the unit next to your room. When you confronted him about it, he only snorted.

"Why? I like this room. I happened to like my neighbor too. What are you gonna do about it?" He was challenging you.

Jungkook always got what he wanted, one way or another. He wanted to be with you. He tried inviting you to his home but you declined, the only way he could think of was to move next to your place.

In his defense, he was worried. The motel building didn't look safe. What if someone came to harm you?

Besides, he wanted to be there for you. He missed almost two years of your life. You got away because he didn't fight harder.

The moment Jungkook saw you again, he swore he wouldn't make the same mistake.

He would fight anyone—anything to have you, to restore your relationship.

"You're drunk." Jimin laughed when you lost your balance, almost falling from the chair.

You had been talking to Jimin for two hours now. He was doing a good job distracting you from the pain of losing someone. You appreciated it. You really did.

You were glad he could laugh with you. Being sad when someone's sad was overrated. They were just adding to the negative feeling that’s already existing. You were happy Jimin wasn't acting as if you were suddenly made of glass.

He always respected your feelings instead of trying to fix you.

"No, I'm not." You giggled, squinting your eyes and biting your lip. "I still see one Jimin. Your pretty face is clear to me, baby. I can see your angel eyes, your plump lips—" You hiccupped.

Jimin laughed again.

"If you're calling me baby, then you're really drunk."

"What if I want to call yo—" You weren't able to finish what you were saying when the line had been cut off.

Someone else was calling you.

You didn't usually answer unknown callers, but you were drunk and not thinking clearly.

"Who is this—"

"Stop calling that boy."

You didn't have to ask who the caller was. You already knew him. His voice wasn't always cold. As a matter of fact, this was the first time he gave you this kind of tone.

Jungkook was always warm and soft. A fire, you would say.

This time, however, he was cold and firm. An ice, you would say.

"Why?" You enquired when you overcame the feeling of being surprised.

Your breath hitched though when you heard him growl from the other line.

"You're seriously asking me that?" He cackled as goosebumps appeared on your skin.

You inhaled sharply, turning your head to look at him. You were curious. You wanted to see if Jungkook was really the person you're talking to right now.

But it was a mistake.

Looking at Jungkook was a mistake.

Jungkook was looking at you through hooded eyes. His phone was pressed against his ear, his right hand was tightly holding a glass of bourbon. Neat.

You shivered, especially when he said these words:

"Because I'm damn jealous."

A/N: i tried to finish this as soon as possible so i can watch attack on titan already. ahhhh!!!! i was recently introduced to anime (i’m so late i know) but please pleaseeee i beg you to recommend me your favorite anime! i don’t ‘really’ have preference, as long as it’s not PURE romance. 💜

[a-student-out-of-time]

Emma has a problem with drugs. Basically due to her POS Biological father she has chronic pain and has to take medication for it. One problem, said mediciation is REALLY addictive and Emma's got problems taking it when she shouldn't. And....ever since what happened with Kana she had a relapse. She's worried that because of what your dad's like you would think less of her Masaru.

Yeah...that’s the whole story.

Masaru...when I first saw what happened to you on then news...i-it reminded me so much of what happened to me at your age...I almost relapsed there too.

And this...these last few weeks have been so hard...the cravings have made me sick...but I’m not gonna do it anymore, I swear. I...I know your father was a horrible, shitty alcoholic and I...I thought, if you knew this, you’d hate me for being like him...

*Masaru trembles with anger*

*...Then hugs her* You’re not like him. D-Don’t say that, okay?

Gu- huh?

Our Dads both sucked! They were mean, ugly, stupid pieces of crap!

But...But you’re so nice...y-you...you make me feel really safe. You’re not like him...you’re not...b-but...you...

N-No...heroes don’t cry...s-stop...

Masaru...

Masaru, it’s okay to cry. It doesn’t make you weak. People who think crying is weak are dumbasses.

But...But how am I gonna protect her...?

You kidding? You’re the toughest kid I know.

Yeah...you’re my little knight. I always feel safe with you too.

Y-You do...?

Yeah. For real.

That’s why I wanted to tell you...you deserved to know that about me. But I promise you, I am doing everything in my power to change. I’m never taking those drugs again. I’m gonna be better...for myself, and for you.

*Emma holds him close* I love you, Masaru. You...You mean so much to me.

*Masaru hugs her too* I love you too.

[smilexcaptainx]

Hi first of all I love your fics! so have you seen the movie instant family? If you have can you make a Steve x teen reader! Base on kind of the plot of the movie? Where Steve and nat or even Bucky decide to adopt kids cause they want to make a family and if you may make it angsty and soft 🥺🥰 thanks!

request an imagine

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Teen!Reader

A/N: Thank you so much dear, that means so much to me! I hope you enjoy!

Warning(s): Angst

Word Count: 1.1K

masterlist

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Steve was deep in thought as he sat there on the couch, his hand rested upon his wife’s knee and his soft blue eyes attached on you. A black garbage bag clutched at your fingertips and your gaze continuously searching out the front door window for the green vehicle to arrive. Steve’s eyes streamed over to look at your little brothers, both of who were firmly holding onto the stuffed animals that Natasha had won them during the carnival last week.

If anything, Steve was devastated and frustrated proceeding with returning you and your little brothers back to your biological father. He claimed to be clean from drugs and alcohol, but Steve couldn’t help but have that reoccurring feeling that he didn’t change his ways. He didn’t want to give you back to the man who put you in the foster home in the first place.

“They’re here,” you called out, gripping onto your garbage bag tighter. Steve exchanged glances with his wife before standing up off the couch. You didn’t even give a single look to Steve and Natasha and instead opened the door, motioning for your brothers to follow you. “come on boys, let’s go home.”

You leave the house, trying to convince yourself not to look back at the two adults who took care of you for the past few months. Attachment was never a good idea in your type of situations. A wide smile appears on your face as the two workers climb out of their car, but shortly your smile lost its strength when you realized that your father wasn’t with them.

“W-Where’s our dad?”

An instant ache happened within your stomach as the workers faces fell as low as yours did. Not even a few sentences traveled through your ears before you came to the realization that he wasn’t going to come back. He broke his promise. You automatically release your grip from the garbage bag, feeling as if your entire body had gone numb.

Steve shook his head as their words fell from their mouths. He knew your father was still the no-good drunk he once was. Steve let go of his wife and started approaching you, only to miss you by a second before you sharply turned and sped off down the street.

“Oh no,” steve muttered, beginning to jog your direction. “[Y/N]! Honey! Wait!”

Hot tears stream down your face, constant regrets entering your mind as your shoes pounded against the black pavement. The faint calls of your name echoed through the sky as you made your turn around the corner of the street. You sprint to your safe place, the one location that nobody but yourself and your brothers knew about. Only you can fit through the entrance way, and so you quickly climb through, crawl to your spot and lean against the hard brick wall.

“[Y/N]!” you hear Steve’s voice clearly cry out, indicating that he had turned the corner. You listen to his footsteps as they began to come to a stop. “[Y/N]? Where did she go?”

You silence your sobs by forcefully throwing your hand over your mouth, praying that you wouldn’t be heard. A few footsteps were heard coming around the corner soon after, all the voices were wondering where you were.

“Big sissy!” you hear your youngest brother holler. “In there! Hiding spot!”

Steve walked up to the fence and knelt down on the other side. “[Y/N]? Sweetheart? Are you in there?”

“Go away!” you shout, uncovering your mouth, your hand wet from the tears. “I-I want to be alone!”

Steve turned around to look at his wife who had the two boys grasped onto her legs. Steve sighed and went back to face the white picket fence.

“[Y/N], please come out, we want to talk to you face to face,” steve pleaded. The air filled with the sound of nothing but your quiet crying. “[Y/N], please—“

“Steve,” natasha spoke, startling him from her sudden appearance behind him. “I think we should leave her be. She’ll come out when she’s ready.”

“I’ll wait right here.” steve stated, lowering himself onto the ground. He leaned against the fence. “Even if I have to wait here all night, I promise I’ll be out here when you decide to come out. I’m more than willing to wait [Y/N].”

Natasha knew that Steve had things under control and went on to lead your two little siblings back to their house, reassuring them that you were going to come home. You felt nothing but doubt from Steve’s words. If your father broke his promises, it wasn’t going to be long until Steve did too. As time passed, you were able to calm down. You shuffle your way to the hole and shyly poke your head outside, surprised to see Steve still on the other side.

"You’re still here,” you murmur, barely loud enough for Steve to hear. He twisted his head to the side, a warm smile spreading across his lips. “I...I um...I thought you would have left by now.”

“I’m not one to break promises [Y/N],” steve declared, causing your heart to sink. “I told you I would be here for you.”

You climb out of your secret hiding spot and walk over to Steve. You put your back against the fence and slide down to his level.

“I’m sorry that I ran off like that,” you apologize, slightly embarrassed. “I just...I...”

Your lip begins to quiver as the dreadful thoughts crept back into your mind. Steve scooted closer to you and threw his arm over your shoulders. You gently lay your head upon his chest as he held you close.

“[Y/N], I am always going to be here for you, no matter what,” steve promised softly, kissing you lightly on the head. “I love you and I care about you. I want you to always remember that, even if you don’t believe it, I never want you to forget it.”

“How do I know that you mean it?”

“By giving me a chance to prove myself,” steve answered. “by giving me and Natasha a chance to prove ourselves,” steve explained further. “[Y/N], we want to adopt you."

Your eyes widen at those words, and remove yourself off of Steve. You stare at him, hoping that he was being serious.

“Even after all that me and my brothers put you through?”

Steve nodded assuredly. “I wouldn’t trade you guys for any other kids in the world, because it’s you three who make mine and Natasha’s life complete. You and your brothers were the missing piece to our life. I couldn’t be anymore grateful.”

“Thank you,” you thank sincerely, wiping a tear that escaped your eye. “thank you so much.”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Feedback is always welcome!

I do not own this gif.

Credit goes to the owner.

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my wattpad

[songsofacagedbird]

Is that BALIAN “BALO” DRISKELL? Wow, they do look a lot like EMILIIE DE RAVIN I hear SHE is an EIGHTEEN year old high school SENIOR. Word is they are a REGULAR student at Luxor Academy. You should watch out because they can be NAIVE and SENSITIVE, but on the bright side they can also be BUBBLY and OPTIMISTIC. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself.

the basics //

Full Name: Balian “Balo” Grace Driskell

Preferred Name: Balo Driskell

Age: 18

Birthday: February 23rd

Zodiac: Pisces

Gender & Pronouns: Woman (She/Hers)

Sexuality: Balo doesn’t label her sexuality, she’s part of the LGBT+ community (and has canonly dated both girls and boys) but she doesn’t feel comfortable labeling it personally.

Occupation: N/A, she occasionally does commissions though (both art and in like making clothes)

Relationship Status: In a relationship with Cade Carroll (npc) since early May 

Place of Birth: Rochester, New York

Hometown: Saratoga Springs, New York

Country of Citizenship: United States

Languages Spoken: English (first) and French

deeper dive //

Hobbies and Talents:

 ○ Sketching (in particular people and animals, an inspiration board for her sketch book can be found here.)

 ○ Painting

 ○ Gymnastics (her leg is her left leg! By “her leg” I mean the leg she leads off with / does her split with for her floor routine / has better balance)

 ○ Fashion Design and Sewing

 ○ Cheerleading

 ○ Gymnastics

 ○ Yoga

 ○ Roller Skating

 ○ Scrapbooking

 ○ Dancing (a hobby, not a talent)

 ○ She can touch her nose with her tongue

Favorites:

 ○ Color: The entire rainbow, Balo has issues with picking one favorite color so she doesn’t choose.

 ○ Food: Balo’s not the biggest on food but she has a weakness for popcorn. Extra butter, light on the salt.

 ○ Animal: Cats

 ○ Drink: Hot Chocolate

 ○ Flower: Sunflowers

 ○ Book: a fairy tale collection she got from Zander when she was a child

 ○ Holiday: Christmas, to the point she’ll start decorating as early as she can. (June? Why not!)

 ○ Movie: The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

 ○ Scent: Strawberries, real a bit more than the artificial but she adores both.

 ○ Place: Her “little art studio” (technically just a corner of her room with her art supplies).

 ○ Quote:

“Butterflies can’t see their wings. They can’t see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well.” - Unknown

Bêtes Noires:

 ○ Color: Dark brown, although she won’t admit to it

 ○ Food: Chicken à la King

 ○ Animal: Spiders, Balo does not like spiders and would like to stay far away from them

 ○ Drink: Matcha

 ○ Flower: Nepenthes peltata

 ○ Book: The Divergent Books

 ○ Holiday: 4th of July

 ○ Movie: Rugrats in Paris, she thinks it’s practically a horror movie

 ○ Scent: Garlic

 ○ Place: The Driskell family home in Saratoga Springs

health //  

Conditions:

          ○ Anorexia Nervosa

          ○ HIV

Allergies: N/A

Sleeping Habits: Balo gets to bed usually at a good time and sleeps 8 hours at a shot.

Exercise Habits: She exercises multiple times of day, between gymnastics and cheerleading, it’s important she’s in prime shape. Dance and Yoga are her go-tos outside of practice.

Addictions: N/A

Drug Use: Very rarely. After a bad LSD trip (when she wasn’t aware she was being drugged until after the fact), she’s very wary of drugs on average.

Alcohol Use: Occasionally. Balo doesn’t have a high alcohol tolerance, she gets tipsy after one drink and if she keeps drinking, after a couple the odds of her stripping are extremely high. (It’s not a sexual thing, she overheats and doesn’t really think about the consequences).

personality //  

MBTI: ESFP

Enneagram: 2w3 (The Helper with The Achiever Wing)

Alignment: Neutral Good

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Percy Jackson Parent: Iris

Pokémon Type: Dragon

Pokémon Subtype: Ghost

Winx: Nature

appearance //  

Height:  5′11” – not at fc height (I enjoy her being a few cm taller than Zander too much to put her at fc now #oops)

Tattoos: One

Scars: None

Piercings: Ears

Hair: Blonde

Eyes: Blue

Fashion:

 ○ link to balo’s closet

 ○ link to balo’s shoes

life at luxor //  

Classes:

 ○ Communications

 ○ French

 ○ General P.E.

 ○ Visual Arts

 ○ Fashion Design

 ○ Human Biology

 ○ Beginner Ballet

Clubs and Activities:

 ○ Art Club

 ○ Cheerleading (Flyer)

 ○  Gymnastics

fun facts //  

 ○ Balo has been attending Luxor since her Freshman year.

 ○ Balo’s kind of a literal ray of sunshine who believes (almost) everyone is truly good at heart.

 ○ Very easy to manipulate, please manipulate her. I’ll literally give you my firstborn.

 ○ Usually you’ll see her running around with a smile trying to brighten everyone’s day. She tries to put everyone’s happiness before herself, however, she’s slowly getting better about forming boundaries.

 ○ While it’d be easy to assume Balo’s dumb, that’s not quite the case. She only remembers the information she wants to. The issue is... most of the information she wants to learn is relatively useless. Want to know how to sew sutures? She’s your girl. Want to know the definition of cannibalism? Well, ask Jack how that goes.

 ○ She has two teddy bears and an American Girl doll living on her dresser. Duffy, Shelley-Mae, and Robin Banks. They’re decorative, but they make her happy.

 ○ One of her best friends is Logan Keller, the boy who went missing during the summer camping trip. The two are still in touch, and extremely close, so occasionally he gets mentioned here and there, but it’s still a sore spot for her (I am still in touch with the person who played him, so I run stuff by his mun when / if he comes up).

 ○ Jack’s adoptive parents recently adopted her, although she hasn’t said a lot about it. Your muse probably won’t know unless one of the two directly told them (or they heard it from Zander). It’s not a secret, she just didn’t make an announcement or anything.

 ○ In October 2019, Zander had an intervention for her to force her to get help for her eating disorder. She was in inpatient until April 2020, when she returned to Luxor.

 ○ Cheer and Gymnastics team member from Freshmen year until her intervention, and she returned to both teams this fall with the new school year.

 ○ Balo’s left handed (the only one of my muses that is a lefty)!

 ○   I’m aware Balo’s family page can be complicated, please feel free to dm me with questions. Also, please remember Balo doesn’t know she’s Daniel’s daughter, let alone the fact there’s even a chance Lance isn’t her father, which means your muse has absolutely no way of knowing this.

 ○ Befriended a stray racoon on the Lake George campus she named Reese Withercoon.

 ○ Literally only just said her first swear word this June, we’re very proud of her for finally getting that done. (#ThanksAxelAndLeo)

 ○ Balo finds the Winnie the Pooh theme song extremely soothing, which resulted in her naming a certain group chat with a set of friends the 100 Acre Woods - because she finds spending time with them soothing too.

 ○ I’m always willing to discuss my muses, so feel free to hit me up if you have any questions at any point.

a tl;dr history  //  

 ○ Balo’s home life growing up was far from perfect. Her father, Lance - is an abusive alcoholic, and while her mother tried her best to protect her children - she also covered things up without hesitation because she loves her husband. It wasn’t uncommon to see a Driskell in the ER with a lie and people willing to back up the story.

 ○ Balo was conceived during the time Lance and Cassandra were seperated the only time that her mother tried to leave. She’s completely unaware that she’s not Lance’s biological daughter (as is everyone else).

 ○ She’s been attending Luxor since freshman year, although she had to leave in the middle of her Junior year had to leave for a few months to attend extensive inpatient treatment. She came back in April, although she could not rejoin the cheerleading and gymnastic teams until her therapist confirmed she was doing well (so the start of her senior year) because of concerns about her well-being.

 ○ She was disowned following her HIV diagnosis over the fall. Over the winter, the Fieldings adopted Balo.

 ○ I strongly recommend skimming Balo’s timeline page before interacting with her. These are just the bare minimum basics, and there're more things your muse may know on there.

wanted connections //  

 ○ Friendships

 ○ Someone to manipulate her, please I beg you

 ○ Anyone who knows her from the gymnastics and/or cheer teams, or the art club

[ofromans]

『 finn cole. twenty-two. cismale. he/him. 』 oh heavens, is that ROMAN COSTA from SYCAMORE WAY i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -CONNIVING & -UNBRIDLED. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool UNEMPLOYED and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +STAUNCH & +ASTUTE. i hope i see them around again! 『 jean. 22. est. she/her. 』

hi squad , hope you’re all having a solid day <3 , i’m jean & this is my brand spankin’ new baby boy roman . i’m throwing a few random tidbits and things below but will be writing up a full blown bio once i have some more time to rly dive in . come thru & let’s party ? PLOT ?

tw : addiction !

he’s the son of STEFANO ( his intro here ) , rock star & basically best bud . he has two half-siblings now ( both just babies ) that his almost new mom left @ their doorstep for his dad to raise ( and he likes to think he helps out a bit too ). 

his biological mother left him and his old man when he was born , not knowing her at all ( and yes , resentful for it ). his dad’s recent fiance ( ex - fiance ) also left the family behind for whatever reason without a trace so yes - you guessed it , roman has mommy issues / abandonment issues galore :-)

growing up as the son to a famous musician had its perks ( the money of COURSE & heading on tour with the coolest dude ever , the social media fame , people treating you differently ) , but it also had some downsides ( the money , the fame ( paps are the Worst !!! ) , and people treating you differently ). funny how those are so similar . although stefano did / does his best as a dad to keep things as normal as possible - it’s somewhat out of his control . roman felt some pressure to act a certain way ( especially if the paparazzi was around - picture a lil kid with cameras flashing in his eyes ok ) , on social media as that came with a built-in following , and he never truly knew who to trust as they got close to him ( a) because of the mommy issues probably, afraid of close relationships & b) are they in it for him or for the money / fame / etc ? )

growing up in the world’s greatest city ( new york ), meant that he had access to everything at his fingertips . and he loved it . a bit of an adrenaline junkie , he loved the excitement , craved the flashing lights when he left & never once had a dull moment . ( except for when he slept in until ... noon , sometimes ). new york perhaps did make him grow up a bit quicker than most though , and roman found himself mixing with some of the wrong crowds / some of the older crowds while he was just shy of a teen . at this point , the alcohol & drugs didn’t seem major as he was still able to keep his average grades up & be the great son / brother he was expected to be  - but during college ( he stayed in nyc and went to nyu ) began his downfall of reliance and commitment to drugs . he became more than just the life of the party , and instead , unhealthy + dangerous  - to himself and those around him . you see , his father and family moved down to his soon to be absent mother’s hometown - mapleview , and roman obviously chose to stay in school , to stay in his home - new york . who would want to move to a place in the middle of nowhere that has the name maple in it ? and with his dad’s fiance who he was never all too found of ? anyway . hitting rock bottom felt repetitive & with his father away ,  it was all too easy to hide the regretful mornings & flunking grades . UNTIL a wild night turned into one with roman thrown into jail with one phone call . after his court ordered rehab & probation ( still on probation tbh ) , roman and his father decided that it’d be best if he moved down to mapleview for a bit after all . ( i wouldn’t say he’s the happiest & it’s p clear that he’s on outsider .... but he’s making the best of it ! plus it seems he came back at the perfect time - now his father being the sole caretaker of the babies . ) he’s been here now for about 6-7 months .

personality wise , i’d say he’s a bit harsh , definitely aware of who he is & a bit cocky . he’s extremely sarcastic / snarky ( i like to think a bit like tony stark tbh ) & doesn’t take all too much seriously . on the bright side , he is loyal to a fault and would do absolutely anything for his half-siblings & especially his father . probably the first to throw a punch in a fight that he knows he’ll lose . he’s intelligent ( though he didn’t get the musical skills that his father has ) , and is able to read people pretty well . he’s blunt , but hardly means to be rude ( even tho it may come off as such ) . roman’s curious by nature & will ask questions that may come off as judgmental ... basically know what he says ≠ what he means , but will still just laugh it off without apology if they’re offended . he’s also ... fun , courageous ! and willing to do anything to get the adrenaline his body craves . 

some headcanons ! loves : thunderstorms , rolled cigarettes , morning sun , good cell service , new sneakers , 90s grunge & euro-dance music , new york sports , going live on instagram , sunglasses , fast cars . // hates : his bad eyesight , shy people , littering , the smell of gasoline , long lines , flip-flops , skiing , cracking knuckles , singing shows , man-buns .  

wanted :

the next-door neighbor ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

the drug dealer ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

good influence ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

the previous boss ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

when roman first got to mapleview , this person hired him graciously . unfortunately , due to whatever circumstances , also had to fire him just a few short months later .

the friends with benefits ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

can have multiple of these tbh , with mommy issues , i assume he’s a bit all over the place in this department .

the enabler ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

this person would be somewhat of a bad influence on roman , especially since he’s still on probation . maybe wanting to take him out to bars / clubs / for a drink . or just doing things that aren’t on the ~legal side of the world .

the enemy ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

can have multiple , of course !

the childhood friend  ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

if anyone is from nyc :~)

the challenger ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

someone else with a sharp mouth, who refuses to accept any of his shit. catch them arguing or fighting every time they’re in a room together. it’s always been that way.

the match ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

tinder plot !

the baby-sitter  ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

the person that helps watch the twins when dad / roman are unable to .

the user  ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

someone that’s using him for something , whether that be to get closer to his father / his studio , for the money / fame , literally anything .

the heartache  ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

a relationship where the fell hard & fast and of course it went south fast .

the adventure sidekick  ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

gimmie those 3am adventures !

the secret  ( TAKEN BY OPEN )

for whatever reason , the two have to keep their relationship / them hanging out a secret .

ALL & EVERYTHING !

[fletcherbarnes]

is that [ASHTON IRWIN]? no, that’s just [FLETCHER BARNES]. [HE/HIM] is [TWENTY FIVE] years old and is a [PHOTOGRAPHER]. rumor has it they’ve been in town for [ONE MONTH]. on a good day, they’re [CREATIVE & EFFICANT]. but watch out! they can also be [AGGRESSIVE & IRRITABLE ]. [OFTEN BY THE WEEKND ] plays in my head whenever I think of them. can’t wait to see them around Springhill! 

iii everyone!! my name is Lana, and this is my son. under the cut are his bio and everything <3 

**TW: self-harm scars, death, drinking, car accident. 

Full Name: Fletcher James Barnes

Nickname(s): Fletch

Age: 25

Date of Birth: June 22nd, 1995

Species: Human

Gender: Male

Pronouns: He/Him

Orientation:Bisexual, Biromantic.

Religion: Agnostic

Occupation: Professional Photographer.

Family

Parents: Blair Buchanan(Biological Mother)  Neil Buchanan (Step-Father),  Bernard Barnes (Biological Father, Deceased)

Siblings: Junip Buchanan (Half-Sister), Marina Barnes (Sister, Deceased)

Uncles: Brandon Barnes, James Barnes. Harold Hanes, Gage Hanes. 

Aunts: Tina Barnes. Jessie Hanes.

Grandparents: Grant Buchanan & Greta Buchanan (Step-Grandparents), Norene & James Barnes (Father’s Parents), Jackson & Dawn Hanes (Mother’s Parents)

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: Ashton Irwin

Hair Colour: Natural is Dirty Blonde. 

Eye Colour: Hazel

Height: 6′

Weight: 190 lbs

Build Muscular.

Tattoos: Moon Phase on both of his forearms, star on his bicep, a rose on the back of his upper right arm, snake on his shoulder, hear on the side of his right wrist, and a California condor on the back of his neck. 

Piercings: None

Distinguishing Characteristics: Self harm scars on his arms, deep scar on his chest from a car accident. 

Health

Mental Illness: IED ( Intermittent explosive disorder ), Depression, PTSD, BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

Sleeping Habits: At times, he usually sleeps very well, but he has spells where he’s up for days and is productive but also incredibly irritable due to lack of sleep. 

Eating Habits: He eats anything. His favorite is any kind of pasta. 

Exercise Habits: works out a lot. He likes to keep himself busy physically so his thoughts stray away from overthinking.

Emotional Stability: Fletcher is usually a calm person when he takes his medicine. If he skips his meds for a few days, he becomes irritable and angry and easily snaps at others. Never mention his dad or his sister. That’s a quick way to get him to explode. And it isn’t pretty.

Sociability: His job as a professional photographer means that he has to be social in order to communicate with his clients. Outside of work he’s just as sociable and enjoys talking to people. He does have his moments where he is quiet and doesn't want anyone talking to him. 

Body Temperature: Average body temp.

Addictions: None

Drug Use: Marijuana. 

Alcohol Use: Frequent.

Personality

Positive Traits: Creative, Efficient, Sociable, Handy, Funny.

Negative Traits: Hot-Headed, Sleazy, Aggressive, Irritable.

Hobbies: Playing drums, painting, driving his cars, running with his dog Ritz.

Habits: Binge drinks, chews his nails.

Favorites

Weather: Rainy

Colour: Red

Beverage: Any strong Liquor, Sweet Tea, Water.

Food: Eggplant Parmesan.

Animal: Dogs and Horses.

BIOGRAPHY:

Fletcher Barnes was born and raised in Brisbane, Australia. His mother Blair was a psychiatrist, his father a famous painter. He had a fantastic childhood and was very blessed with the life that he had. They lived in a huge house, went on vacations often, and he had everything he could ever imagine. His sister was born when he was two, the pair were inseparable. Due to his father being home all the time since his studio was in his house, they were homeschooled by him. 

One thing that Fletcher loved about his father was his creativity and his willingness to let his children explore their creative side. Fletcher couldn’t quite get into painting like his sister did, but he found love for photography. When he was eight, his father bought him a nice camera and was given lessons by his uncle James who was a professional photographer. As he grew, he learned how to take perfect photos, edit just the right way, and position things just how he wanted. 

Another memory he has of his father was always going with him to his art shows, helping him set up, taking photos of all of his artwork, and helping him pick out a suitable outfit. The Barnes family more often than not coordinated their outfits with each other at each show they did. He remembers the excitement of all the people flooding in, the snacks him and his sister would snag, and talking to lots of different people. Happiness radiated in the family, and it showed. 

But that happiness wouldn’t last long. 

When Fletcher was thirteen, he was helping his dad load up their car for his art show that was coming up. His father wasn’t his usual self; he was quiet, reserved, and short with Fletcher and his sister. He wasn’t himself, and Fletcher knew it. But, he still went with him and so did his sister, despite his mother’s plea for them not to go with him. Why did she insist on them not going? He didn’t know, but they went along with him. As they were going down the highway, Fletcher tried talking to his father, but he was stone silent. The car picked up speed, and he felt his father grab his hand tightly. The last thing he remembered was him saying he loved him, then everything went dark. 

He woke up in a hospital with his mom by his side, and that’s when she delivered the news to him. Both his father and his sister were dead, and he wrecked the car on purpose to take his life. Fletcher was numb, at first he thought it was a joke, but she was serious. The two most important people, dead. He didn’t cry, he didn’t scream. He just sat there and was numb to the whole situation. He was unable to attend the funeral since both of his legs were broken and he had to do physical therapy. 

After spending two months in the hospital, he made a full recovery and went back home. It didn’t feel like home anymore though; it felt like a prison. His mother was in a very dark spot with her depression, she lost her job, and when she was awake, she was drinking. More often than not, he stayed at his grandparents. They had a hold of the will, and it wasn’t to be opened until Fletcher turned eighteen. 

He went to public school and graduated with amazing grades, and on his eighteenth birthday, it was time to open the will. He spent his day with his mother who was now a functioning human, and they spent the day opening presents, getting ice cream and going out to eat, then ending the day at his grandparents house where they would open the will. His mother opened the will, and she was shocked and angry. Confused, his grandma took the will from her and she gasped. Fletcher had no idea what was happening until it was then handed to him.

Everything was his. The house, his paintings, his cars, his bank account. He left everything to his son. He sold everything except for two of his dad’s camaros and a painting of him and his sister, and ended up with a very large amount of money. He was hated by his mother and everyone else, so he packed up and left Australia and headed to America. He became a citizen and lived in LA, building up his reputation as a photographer and eventually becoming the most sought out photographer in LA by the time he was twenty three. 

He’s photographed fashion shows in Milan, Paris, New York, and London, for magazines like Time, Vogue, Elle, and has even worked on movie sets. Fletcher wanted to get away from LA life, and he decided it was time for a change of pace. He moved to Springhill, New Jersey where he would continue his photography career. He’s lived there for a month, and loves it. 

[moniadler]

( margot robbie. twenty-nine. cis female. she / her. ) was that monika adler ? i heard a rumour they work for the faust family, but who knows for sure ? they can be a bit calculating & vindictive but i also heard they can be adventurous & ambitious. you’ll usually find them at wolves in their spare time, when they’re not being a caporegime & burlesque dancer at centro del sole. you may want to keep an eye on that one !

bonjour! it’s me again—your local trashcan chrissie with another muse. this is my precious angel ( more like a demoness, tbh but still ) bby girl monika and, to quote the legends that are queen, she’s a killer queeeeen. she’s sassy, classy and a lot badassy. she’s a rather feisty, fiery, ball of rage and anger with hella abandonment issues like woah. but uhhh, anyways, hmu for plots here or on discord, i’m open to everything and anything so fire away!

MONIKA’S PINTEREST BOARD!

fundamentals.

full name. monika odette adler.

nicknames. moni, mon, & nik.

current age. twenty-nine.

date of birth. august 15th.

gender. cisgender female.

pronouns. she / her.

nationality. american.

religion. agnostic.

birthplace. manhattan, new york city, united states.

current residence. chicago, illinois, united states.

sexual orientation. pansexual.

romantic orientation. aromantic.

education. psychology degree obtained from nyu.

past occupation. bartender, & dancer at genesis.

current occupation. burlesque dancer at centro del sole.

affiliation. the faust family.

rank. caporegime.

connections.

birth mother. unknown.

birth father. unknown.

sibling/s. unknown.

adoptive mother. rachael adler.

adoptive father. william adler. †

adoptive sister. lucy adler. †

adoptive brothers. jacob, & noah adler.

significant other. n/a.

child/ren. n/a.

pet/s. a balinese cat named tigger after the character in winnie the pooh.

proficiencies.

spoken languages. english, spanish, french, italian, german, & russian.

negative traits. brusque, obstinate, destructive, deceptive, & promiscuous.

positive traits. elegant, headstrong, observant, independent, & confident.

strengths. optimistic, energetic, creative, practical, spontaneous, rational, knows how to prioritise, great in a crisis, & relaxed.

weaknesses. stubborn, insensitive, private, reserved, easily bored, dislikes commitment, & has a rather risky behaviour.

skills. skilled with blades and various knives, skilled with firearms, hand-to-hand combat, memory recall, physical stamina, able to use initiative, & excellent problem-solving abilities.

talents. violin, piano, ballet, dancing, singing, bartending, & photographic memory.

appearance.

eye colour. blue.

hair colour. natural blonde.

height. 5′5″.

weight. 61 kg.

build. she is considered average height for a female and is both slender and toned.

scars. a rather noticeable one across her clavicle and a few others in less visible places.

tattoos. a crimson lily on her left shoulder.

piercings. both earlobes.

glasses. n/a.

prominent feature. sparkling sapphire eyes.

miscellaneous.

zodiac. leo.

strengths. creative, passionate, humorous.

weaknesses. arrogant, stubborn, self-centred.

likes. theatre, being admired, expensive things.

dislikes. being ignored, facing difficult reality, not being treated like a queen.

element. fire.

colour. gold.

day. sunday.

ruler. the sun.

lucky number. three.

house. gryffindor.

myers briggs type. istp-a ( introverted, observant, thinking, prospecting. )

alignment. chaotic neutral.

enneagram. type 7: the enthusiast ( the busy, fun-loving type: spontaneous, versatile, distractible, and scattered. )

temperament. sanguine.

intelligence type. intra-personal.

character label. the vixen.

diseases. infertility.

past mental disorders. drug abuse, acute stress disorder, depression, & anxiety.

current mental disorders. addiction, & abandonment issues.

addictions. tobacco, cocaine, & alcohol.

vices. lust, greed, & wrath.

virtues. temperance, diligence, & humility.

allergies. penicillin.

diet. vegetarian.

dominant hand. ambidextrous.

accent. american.

blood type. o negative.

felonies. petty theft charge when she was fifteen. she also has a history of both kleptomania, & pyromania when she was a teenager.

vehicle. red 1966 shelby 427 cobra.

background.

( triggers for abandonment and abandonment issues ) in truth, monika isn't entirely sure where—or how—her story originated. well, minus the obvious: the birds, the bees, yadda yadda. whether or not her biological parents ever actually cared for her or loved her will remain one of life's greatest mysteries. at only one month old, she was discarded by those who gave her life; left abandoned and unwanted. a feeling the girl would grow up carrying around like a weight around her neck for the rest of her life. an incessant voice telling her she wasn't worth it, niggling at her every single time she would allow herself to get close to another human being. a dark shadow looming over her shoulder, whispering sinister thoughts into her ears—warning her that everyone would eventually leave in the end. they would always leave in the end.

( trigger for a mention of foster homes ) monika's earliest memories feature fragmented visions of various foster homes and the faces of many guardian figures; some good, some bad and some not worth even mentioning. that was her life for the majority of her childhood—bouncing from one home to another but never sticking in one place for too long. given her turbulent upbringing, she was somewhat of a difficult child. too boisterous, too unruly, too stubborn, too inquisitive. too much of everything but never enough of anything. never enough for anybody to want her. 

( trigger for a mention of adoption ) finally, after eight long years of being uprooted and thrown into new environments time and time again, monika was adopted by the adler family. and, from that instant onwards, her upbringing was mostly positive. of course, she was thankful and grateful that she had been welcomed into their family and given a good life. things could have been a lot worse for her and she knows that. still, it didn't take the girl too long to figure out that it was just her alone, against the big bad world. from the age that she was old enough to realise it, monika knew that she had to fend for herself—that she could never truly rely on a single soul but herself. rachael and william adler were the best family that she'd ever had. the only family that she ever truly felt she might have belonged to. the only family that she cared enough about to continue carrying their last name, even to this day.

however, once monika reached a certain age, her personality shifted south. she was outgoing as ever but soon became meddlesome, troublesome and much too outspoken. the hollowness inside her chest never quite satiated, leaving her empty and only too well aware of the lack of her real parental figures. as a young adolescent, this started to crawl under her skin and mess with her mind. it rendered her void of affection and unable to form genuine bonds with others—filling her with deep-rooted resentment that festered beneath the surface of the indifferent demeanour she plastered over herself every day. no matter what the adler family done, monika always felt starved of love. despite their best efforts, monika never felt fully satisfied—as if some integral part of her heart was missing, leaving a gaping void nobody could ever fill. thus, as a teenager, she started searching for a cure in the wrong places. she fell in with the wrong crowd, causing trouble for both herself and her family.

as a result of her out of control behaviour, monika found herself shipped off to an esteemed all-girls boarding school from the ages of fourteen to eighteen. once again, she felt as if she was being cast aside. admittedly, at first, it didn't seem so bad and although she took a while to settle in and adjust, it wasn’t long until the girl found her feet and made her mark. she had always been intelligent so it was no surprise that she excelled in her classes and extracurriculars. of course, true to form, she remained prone to rebellion every so often, but never enough to become detrimental. she had a small group of friends and the clique was rather close-knit and she finally felt she belonged somewhere.

( triggers for mentions of death, cancer, mental health issues, alcohol, and drugs ) however, as all good things do, they come to an end. in monika's case, those few blissful years reached a rather abrupt cessation—taking a drastic plummet into darkness. she was sixteen when her younger sister, lucy, tragically passed away after battling leukaemia. as a result, monika lost control of herself and of her path in life. she spent weeks alone and aimless, wavering on her tracks. she became isolated and withdrawn. she hid away in her dorm room that school year, only leaving to go to classes. she became quiet, reserved and wanted to be alone. after months of this—reverting to type—she went looking for stability in the wrong places once more. running with the ‘wrong’ crowd was simply something that came naturally to monika, as if she felt comfort in pressing the self-destruct button when times got tough. for her last year at school, she partied hard, drank way too much, experimented with drugs and with people and although these instances gave her a thrill, it never lasted too long. therefore, she continually crawled back to the things and the people she knew deep down was no good for her. but as long as she felt the high, nothing else mattered.

( triggers for mentions of death and huntington’s disease ) after she graduated, she moved back home to her adoptive parents and brothers, which, at first, felt as gloomy as she'd expected with the absence of her sister. due to her lifestyle in the final year of her education, monika's grades didn't quite cut it—not for her dreams of attending an ivy league university, anyway. after some consideration ( and the encouragement of her mother ), she attended night classes in order to obtain better grades before she managed to obtain a place at nyu where she studied psychology. but, once again, tragedy hit the adler's like a freight train. the summer before she left for university, her father passed away. while monika had always known that william's death was imminent given the fact that he had huntington’s disease, it didn't make the reality hurt any less. still, monika knew that life had to move on—as it always had—thus, she had no choice but to pack up her belongings and move to into her new home for the following few years: nyu campus.

during her university years, monika worked a lot of jobs around new york while visiting her family home on weekends. finally, once she graduated with rather impressive grades, she'd decided that her life was no longer tethered to manhattan. so, aged twenty-two, she packed up and travelled around the states for two years until, eventually, she wound up in chicago. in the beginning, she managed to get herself a job at genesis as a bartender where she met oliver faust ( without knowing his surname, of course ). completely clueless as to his prominence within the city, the two had a one night stand, seemingly never to see one another again. at least, until a year later.

after bartending in the club for quite some time, monika plucked up the courage to take her work a step further and take her place on the stage as one of the dancers. it was during this time that she met another faust member and quickly, the two became friends and through this friendship, only then did monika find out a little background information on the faust name. this faust member was the one who brought monika into the fold where she started as an affiliate. of course, you could imagine her surprise when she uncovered oliver's role as the boss—especially after a whole year had passed since their first encounter. regardless, monika felt secure and welcomed among the faust family, thus she was more than happy to work for them.

due to her no-nonsense approach and attitude, and her ability to handle herself whilst dancing, she found herself promoted to a solider. then, after ‘dealing’ with a target ( a regular at genesis who just so happened to request a dance from monika every night ) under the guise of an escort, the blonde was swiftly advanced to a crimson whilst continuing to dance at genesis. after maintaining the role of a crimson for a year, she climbed the ranks where she now remains a caporegime while now dancing at centro del sole. 

throughout her twenty-nine years of life so far, monika has built herself back up time and time again. with every punch swung her way ( both figuratively and literally ), she has risen to her feet each time. for as intelligent as she is, she is just as resilient and unyielding. the need to prove people wrong is almost overwhelming but never to her detriment. while she continues to bear the emotional scars of her past, monika refuses to write herself off. she allows herself to admire people, history, art, music, places, but she never grows comfortable enough that she is prepared to show even the people closest to her, her innermost, truest self.

as a result of her chaotic upbringing, fragments of monika are broken beyond repair—lost to the depths of her mind. yet deep down inside, the faintest sliver of that optimistic little girl remains. where she is now is precisely where monika wants to be and perhaps this is the exact path she needs to take in order to fully emerge from the ashes of her haunting past. from her teenage years, she easily fell under the bracket of an adventurous, charming, ‘party girl’ which hasn't altered much over the years. honestly, monika is content with playing this ‘role’ of a carefree, curious, typical blonde as she finds it helps with her work. after all, how unsuspecting does the pretty blonde dancer seem? not many people look at her and realise just how deadly she is underneath.

all in all, monika gets from one day to the other by dancing her worries away or drinking her problems out of her head. she rarely lets herself get attached to anybody and builds the highest walls around herself to ensure nobody wants to put the effort into trying to break them down. it's that little voice that's rattled around inside her head from childhood that has her this way—still telling her she isn't worth it. and she believes it. she believes that if she ever slowed down and stopped adopting her reckless lifestyle that the emptiness and loneliness would creep in and hold her prisoner. and if there's one thing that monika adler swears she'll never be, that's a slave to her mind or to anybody else.

some tidbits.

nicknames: monnie, moni, mon, nik, barbie, blondie ( if u wanna lose ur eyes ) … spawn of satan  >:-)

scared of goats. thinks they’re satanic creatures. those eyes are hella creepy, don’t even try and tell her otherwise.

her signature scent is chanel N°5.

she’s fearless af. throwback to her upbringing, most likely.

she’s all sweet smiles and charming words until her expression turns sharp and deadly. it’s her tactic to entice then pounce, if you will.

she loves to surprise people. most assume she’s a pretty blonde but oh, she loves the look of shock on their faces when she waves a knife at them.

in a way, her words are like her weaponry but really, monika would much prefer to point a gun in a person’s face. plus, it’s more efficient, she thinks. 

an angel of vengeance in a pair of designer sunglasses tbh. 

much prefers to be called a murderess / demoness as she believes it has a nicer ring to it rather than murderer / demon. she’s dramatique like that.

owns waaay too many pairs of heels.

her signature look is her blood-red lips.

often wears suits and totally rocks them.

she’s … experimental. she’s experimented with just about everything: hairstyles, clothing, drink, drugs, people …

quite power hungry tbh.

she does have a shot at redemption but she doesn’t want it lmao. she’s already been to hell so why bother trying to right her wrongs?

and boy, are her wrongs a century long list shkjsh.

doesn’t believe she’s capable of loving anyone.

when it comes to whether or not she is morally decent or an extremely bad person, she is somewhere in the middle of that spectrum—she isn’t heartless but she isn’t compassionate either. 

she’s v ambitious, v morally ambiguous, v self-serving and v self-involved.

extremely skilled with knives and blades. always her weapon of choice when on a job. always carries one on her person at all times.

although she wears a lot of red, black is actually her favourite colour. she feels her most powerful in an all-black outfit.

her most prized possession is her brushed chrome zippo. it has her initials engraved on it and where she got it or from who is something she’ll never tell.

always seen with a cigarette in hand. she seriously chain smokes. always says she needs to quit but never does and probably never will either.

when she was a little girl she’d always dreamed of having kids of her own one day and told herself she would love them unconditionally and never abandon them as her birth parents had but unfortunately, she is infertile and the likelihood of having her own kids one day is extremely slim. this is something that devastates her every day but you’d never tell. she has never told anybody about this.

drives way too fast but loves the thrill of it.

she can be pretty deadly if you piss her off enough.

thrives on chaos.

a tad theatrical.

is truly an independent woman who don't need no man.

plot ideas.

ok so pls excuse me and my last two remaining brain cells—we try real hard but it's tough skjhjks but gimme all of the connections from friends, frenemies, enemies, hookups, exes, rivals and everything else in between. added bonus if there’s angst or drama. if you have anything in mind feel free to throw it at me, i’m open to the majority of things and have zero triggers so come at me bro! below you can find some connections i’d love for my deadly bby.

the faust member who brought her into the fold. open.

her adoptive brothers. open and open. ( their names are listed as jacob and noah, but this can be changed if ya ain’t feeling those names! )

you’re a bad idea, but i like bad ideas. so, this could be somebody that monika knows through her dancing at genesis. maybe this gentleman pays for private dances and tips extremely well? i have an idea in my head that this man would trust monika and confide in her. in a way, she’d kind of act as a therapist for him and his paying for her private time would be more about talking than anything else. maybe over time, she would tell him things about her past or about the things she has done. maybe he could be somebody who, when he/if he realises she works for the fausts, asked her to take out a target for him. there are endless possibilities for this one! of course, added angst if he’s affiliated with a different gang. OPEN.

when friends become enemies. maybe this person and monika were friends from new york that she hung around with and got involved in reckless behaviour with. or maybe this person was someone monika befriended during her university years. or they could be someone that monika met when she moved to chicago. under whichever circumstance they met, one fact remains: the two are no longer on friendly terms. they were once close and trusted each other with anything but now, there is obvious hostility. perhaps there was a betrayal, blackmail, a breach of trust, lack of communication, a simple misunderstanding. whatever it was that cracked this relationship is set in stone and is unlikely to ever go back to how it once was. some things are just too broken to be mended. OPEN.

you’re in my veins, you fuck. monika has always had bad habits. has always gravitated to toxicity like a moth to a flame. thus, it would be safe to assume that 90% of her relationships have also been bad for her. the broken element inside her always found itself magnetised to the darkness in people. more especially, attracted to people she knew were no good for her. though, in the end, monika would always manage to break free and leave these people behind. however, there was always this one person she couldn’t seem to stay away from. she met them when she moved to chicago and instantly she knew they would break her heart yet it didn’t deter her from continuing to crawl back to them. these two have what can only be described as a toxic relationship. neither is good for the other yet neither can seem to walk away. OPEN.

if you don’t have enemies, you don’t have character. of course, it goes without saying that monika is the kind of woman who could make enemies for herself very easily. due to her sarcastic and distant nature, it would be safe to assume she has quite a few enemies and rivals. though this particular person would be the enemy of all enemies. somebody that she cannot abide and someone who cannot abide her either. they can’t stand the sight of each other and refuse to share the same space unless absolutely necessary. otherwise, there’s a massive chance of a fight outbreaking between them. there could be a history between them that has brought about their hostile nature toward each other. or they could simply dislike each other for no real known reason other than a sense they get from the other. bonus points if they’re walsh affiliated! OPEN.

a gal gang / her ride or dies. taken by amara ricci, & genevieve bisset.

a chance encounter / one night stand. taken by oliver faust.

[doof-doofblog]

"Bobby! Can You Hear Me?!"

Tuesday 28th April 2020

Evening everyone! As promised, here is my second post of the day! I hope you all enjoyed my earlier post reviewing last night's episode. To start off though I believe there have been some miner spoilers realised, which I have only been made aware of within the past few hours. I wouldn't necessarily call it spoiler, more speculation. It will appear that Chantelle and Kheerat start to form a strong bond and it's been mentioned that Kheerat could actually be the one that Chantelle opens up to about Gray's abuse.  I'm sure this is something that you're probably all aware of by now, as there as been slight flirtation between the characters, but to some, it may be news ... who knows? It is yet to be seen, but with all the directions the stories are leading to, I think it'll only be a matter of time before Chantelle says something!

Anyway shall we focus on tonight's episode, I felt it was another one full of drama! So many cliffhangers that we have to wait another week for until we see what happens, but it'll all be worth it i'm sure! Let's start off with what's happening with the Trueman family. So, after Isaac let off a bit of steam, he informed Denise about how both Patrick and Sheree have been acting suspiciously in recent weeks since his arrival, and most importantly how Patrick has dropped little hints here and there that he is actually his biological father. Of course, Denise has been completely unaware of the secret that both Sheree and Patrick have been hiding, you could see she was deeply shocked and surprised to figure out that Patrick was Isaac's father. After learning the truth and realising that Isaac has been lied to and not been told anything about his past, she came up with an idea. She called Patrick and told him to meet Sheree at the Vic, and Isaac went to the Salon where Sheree would think she'd be meeting Denise.It seems like the perfect way to finally get one of them to reveal the truth, if not both of them. Isaac can confront his Mum and get her to explain everything to him, even though i'm sure he'll be devastated that he's been lied to for so long. Plus Patrick has only known for a few months, and it's been clearly hard for him to keep to himself, he's been desperate to say something since he found out. I think this will be a huge weight of his shoulders, and hopefully, in time and if Isaac will want to, hopefully they can start to build a father-son relationship. Isaac is going to have a lot of questions for Sheree though before we get to that stage. Why did she lie to him for all those years? Why did she never tell Patrick? Why didn't she want Isaac to know? Whatever the answers may be, there is sure going to be a long road ahead for Isaac when he takes in this new information.

I don't know about you guys, but I really wanted to see the scene where Phil would sit Linda down and tell her exactly what life is like being an addict! I'm gutted I have to wait a whole week to see what Phil is going to tell her! So, after Linda came home from her meeting she told Mick and Shirley that Phil was there. I loved that little quote she made about it being Phil Collins! Haha! Anyway, neither Shirley or Mick were surprised, but Shirley, of course, stood up for Phil after Linda made a comment about him being there. She is right in the fact that Phil only knows too well what it's like and how hard it can be trying to remain sober and that Linda should listen to him! Eventually Phil actually went to in and put in a offer for the Vic and he's offering Mick the asking price,but he'll only give the asking price so Linda can swap her days at the AA meeting. Mick also informed Linda about Phil had said about her, that it would be for the best if she were to move out of the Vic as soon as possible! Linda, being the feisty woman that she is, went to have it out him, but I believe that she'll come to understand him a lot more after this conversation they're about to have. Phil revealed that he had been sober for almost 4 years, but still if it weren't for him going to those AA meetings, he would still be suffering with alcohol. I think Linda then realised that she's got a long long road ahead until things get easier for her, that is if they do get easier. She needs to realise that she is an addict and there are always going to be temptations in her path, but she needs to realise that she can get through this, it's just going to take time. What better person to tell her all the truths about being an addict than Phil?! He's been right in the gutter with not just alcohol, but with drugs also ... does anyone remember when he was a heroin addict? That was the most fantastic and so real performance that I've ever seen from an actor! I can't applaud Steve McFadden enough, he has and always will be my favourite EastEnders actor! I think the chat that Linda and Phil will have will really be an eye-opener for Linda. I'm really looking forward to seeing that scene unfold, roll on next Monday!  

Uh-Oh ... so Chantelle and Kheerat have found themselves trapped after a power cut happened in the Panesar household! Unfortunately, this could mean severe consequences for Chantelle, as just as the power cut happened, she was on the phone to Gray telling her he needed her, as he's come to find out where Whitney is! I mean, he wasn't happy with the news that she had to go and work there in first place, is he going to be even more angry at her now? I mean, it wasn't her fault there was a power cutt, but I bet he will say if her mobile was switched on she wouldn't have been there when it happened! There were spoilers that both Chantelle and Kheerat were going to locked in a room together, does this mean that this could be the time they open up to one another? Will Kheerat tell her about how he feels about his Mum? Could he really be feeling disgusted with his Mum after finding out about her lies and is he just putting on a front? But also, could this be the time that Chantelle finally reveals to someone about how Gray abuses her! It's an interesting situation and again there are so many twists and turns that it can take. I really am gutted tonight's episode ended where it did, there's so much stuff i'm looking forward to finding out! I just hope Chantelle won't get the blame for the power cutt and Gray will understand.

Okay, so everyone now knows where Whitney is, and hopefully Gray and/or the police will be on their way to save her! I felt for Whitney tonight ... she's still being tormented and still having to relive those harrowing ordeals that Tony and Leo put her through. I really felt for her when she had to listen to Michaela talking about Tony and how she thought she was in love with him, and then coming to realise who Leo was, it felt horrible to watch I think. You could see Whitney just thinking things over and over in her head about everything she has been through. However, the big shock was that Michaela knew what Tony was like, she threw him out and that's why he went back to Bianca where he continued to abuse Whitney. All those years, Michaela knew what Tony was doing and she let it happen, even though she thought she was trying to protect Leo, she should've also tried to save/protect Whitney, and she never did. Is she feeling guilty that she never acted? Could this be why she's taken Whitney hostage? Does she want to tell her exactly what she went through? Or could it be a scheming way of getting Whitney to admit to murdering Leo?! It's an interesting cliff hanger ... lets just hope Whitney will be saved or be able to escape, and Michaela will get what's coming to her!

Oh Bobby! Poor Bobby! All he wants is to win the girl! That's all he wants! He's trying so hard to impress Dotty .. he dressed really nicely, he bought her a drink, complemented her and she still didn't get the hint! She seems to think that they're just friends ... it's a shame though, as just before it was revealed that Bobby had collapsed, Peter and Dotty shared a moment and were literally about to lean in for a kiss! Was it only me who noticed that?! I sure as hell felt like a kiss was going to happen! Poor Bobby actually resorted to taking drugs to (perhaps) impress a girl! He knew Dotty was selling something, even though she refused to give him some, I guess he just wanted to fit in and maybe not have her see him as "Just a kid!" ... What was it that Bobby took? I hope he'll be okay! How is Peter going to feel, knowing purely that his little brother has feelings for the girl he is flirting with! Even when Peter mentioned to Bobby about using his passport to enter the club and then commenting that he had used tons of his aftershave, I don't think he was acting as the caring older brother. I don't know what it was, but it felt as if he was skitting at him, maybe? Even telling Bobby to prove it to Dotty that he wasn't just a kid, an then later on, trying to lean in for a kiss with her! What is Peter's game?! I'm not sure I 100% trust Peter, I think he's changed. He used to be such a caring character, and now I'm not so sure ... Am I the only one thinking this? I could be completely wrong and I will take back everything I've said if I am, but ... surely, you wouldn't act on flirting with your brother's crush, would you?! I hope Dotty will come to realise that Bobby actually likes her, and maybe she'll give him a chance? It's uncertain what's going to happen with this story-line, I can see it, that both the Beale brothers will be fighting each other for Dotty's affection. What do you think is going to happen? Will Bobby be okay? Will Dotty give him a chance?

Unfortunately, we have a whole week to wait to see what happens. I've lost track on how many weeks it's been since the soap started airing only 2 episodes a week, I'm hoping there'll still be enough for us to see until things get back to some form of normality. I want to thank you all for reading my blog and being patient with me! I hope you're enjoying the soap just as much as I am! I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next and writing up about it! Enjoy the rest of your week folks as much as you can, keep safe and hopefully this will all be over soon! Feel free to message me and share your thoughts and opinions on anything I've posted. I'll always make time to respond! Thanks guys! xXx

[roswelldetails]

Rosa Ortecho

At some point before her death (but probably sometime in Isobel’s senior year), Rosa finds out that Jim Valenti is her biological father. In a flashback with Isobel in 110 she says, “if I even am an Ortecho - my mom is a liar.” Sometime after that, if what Noah says in 113 is to be believed, she confronts her mother and makes her leave Roswell, telling her that she’ll tell Liz and Arturo the truth about her real father if she ever comes back. Although in 106 when Liz tells Rosa she’s just like their mom, Rosa answers that she’s nothing like their mom because she’s there (and their mother isn’t). Which is a funny statement since Rosa’s the one who made her leave (according to Noah), and Rosa herself had a bag packed and a bus ticket out of town by that point, so she was already planning on leaving for a while (104).

Rosa struggles with substance abuse, which Liz has come to believe is her way of self-medicating to deal with hallucinations caused by a mental illness (101). In the flashback in 104 Rosa tells Liz that she’s doing better and asks her, “Did you sleep with Kyle while I was drying out?” This implies that she was away for a bit at some point - perhaps in Jim Valenti’s underground bedroom as seen in 105? Though she relapses the night of her death, getting drunk and high according to Max (in his confrontation with Liz in 103), but we only see her drinking that night in 106.

In 106 Jasmine and Kate threaten to ruin Rosa’s life if she ruins the prom for them (by not getting them drugs), and the night of the prom she tells Isobel that she’s thinking of leaving town for a while to go see a guy who can help her stay clean. She says it’s “not a guy-guy” but more like a father-figure who’s in recovery too. We see her put the bus ticket into her backpack in this scene, and we know from Liz’s subsequent investigation that the ticket is to Los Alamos, leaving the day after Rosa died.

The day she died, Kate and Jasmine vandalized Rosa’s car so Rosa wouldn’t let Liz borrow it for the bio project so she wouldn’t see it (106). We can assume that Rosa got the car cleaned up while Liz was in the desert, but by the time Max comes by to slip a note under the wiper, Rosa is already drunk, having been to the Wild Pony to grab a bottle of alcohol. We know that after taking the letter from under the wiper, Rosa goes up to the roof and stashes it in her hiding spot, then apparently decides to head to the turquoise mine to grab her backpack in order to prepare to leave town the next day.

Speculation: It’s a good thing Rosa’s alive again - hopefully she’ll be able to fill in some of the blanks left by season 1, even though a lot of them probably aren’t strictly necessary for the story going forward.

But… who was Rosa going to see in Los Alamos? Jim Valenti? Wasn’t he Sheriff during this time period? What other father-figure-who’s-also-in-recovery did she have? And if it was Jim, why didn’t she just tell Isobel that, since apparently she’d already told her she knew she wasn’t an Ortecho and may even have told her who her real father was (since Noah knew.)

Also, the way Rosa talks about going to see a guy who says he can help her... it sounds as if this person hasn’t helped her yet. But Jim’s basement bedroom looked like Rosa had been living in it at some point...

It’s possible that Noah used a mind-reading ability to find the identity of Rosa’s father, and Rosa never actually confided in Isobel. Of course, it’s also possible that Rosa didn’t actually tell her mother to stay away… since Noah’s evil we can’t be sure he’s telling the truth about anything.

So to recap, the Rosa who stumbles out of the cave and into season 2 is 19, a drug addict who just fell off the wagon again the day she died, fed up with everyone in Roswell and ready to leave for Los Alamos, and -- if she remembers it -- has just witnessed Isobel being completely creepy, bragging about killing girls for her and telling her she has a different body.

If you have something else to add here, send me an ask or submit, and I’ll edit it in and credit you. :)