#literally every time im like Im Irredeemably Gross Now

[corvidaedream]

me, every time I have a week or so where im in too much pain/exhaustion to clean my room: god I've really done it this time, there's no coming back from this, im becoming my grandmother

me, as soon as i have energy again: oh that only took two hours. again.

[funky-sea-cryptid]

chapter 3

i've had a red bull (gross), i have 3 hours until im watching pride and prejudice and zombies, lets do this thing

once again jo nesbo cuts from the action because ???

look, i like dramatic retellings as much as the next bitch this wouldn't be a problem if he didn't do it every chapter.

it's the next night apparently

anyways macbeth is relaying the story of how he and duff committed a literal massacre to a very enthralled (and very drunk) SWAT team

take a shot every time angus specifically says "jesus"

he says it a lot, actually, so disregard that unless you want to fucking die

angus is an edgy atheist which is why i think it's funny that he says "jesus" so much.

macbeth is retelling the events to his friends and then seyton shows up

seyton: did you really think duff would care about a bunch of dead bodies? macbeth: sir, this is a chilis.

once again duff portrayed as An Asshole. would be better if he was shown to improve, but alas. we can't have shit in this nameless town

okay another point to nesbo, i like the ping-ponging of the story between macbeth and duff telling it to different parties and both of them LYING

duff's like "hnggg does duncan like me" and duncan's like ":)"

lennox and caithness hiiiiiiii

take a shot every time duff is like "i gotta make linguistics an art" and discusses his word choices to himself

disregard that

cawdor mention hiiiiiiiii

me when i see people from the play: omg hiiiii <3

mention of The Stoke Massacre which does play an important part if you give a shit about this fucking book, which i dont

macbeth: we shot the bitch. but. it wasn't the bitch.

yeah sweno's still alive.

good for him tbh

duncan is COMING for duff's ass fr

it's kind of amusing because duff is such an irredeemable asshole in this book but it also makes me so upset because duff is - thats my boy, okay?

jo nesbo has NEVERRRRRRR engaged critically with this text fr

not to repeat my rant on how macduff is supposed to be a narrative foil and therefore morally superior to macbeth but

even if he wasnt the man has the straightest moral compass in the play. he's fully prepared to beat malcolm's ass and then go save scotland by himself because malcolm's like "i will be a bad king and fuck the entire country up" like the man is so good. how could you do this jo nesbo

duff calls duncan an "arrogant fool"? or is it sweno? unclear

duncan's worried about shit getting stolen out of siezed goods - THEN FIX THAT SHIT??? arent you in CHARGE?

real drinking game take a shot a woman is described as "looking less capable bc ulterior motives (sex) but shes capable tho!" . i do like the part where her whole face sparkles bc of a candle flame because i too like women

lennox is like "hmm today we're gonna casually discriminate against macbeth"

everyone's clowning on duff rn (for good reason though) augh jo nesbo what are you DOING to my BOY

banquo's like "macbethhhh stop lyingggg" and macbeth's like "what are you talking about aha"

LADY MACBETH HIIIIIIIIIIIIII

banquo HATES her thats misogyny actually

duff: i'm going to commit more crimes on duncan's dollar

her name is just. lady. just lady. what in god's name-

her name is GRUOCH

anyways macbeth is a total malewife i think thats cute

first mention of lorreal. oh boy.

LADY MACDUFF HIIIIIIIIIIII

me when women

she's doing her best rn

okay it's now revealed duff and macbeth are fucking lying bc duff shot the bitch wearing sweno's helmet without checking, so macbeth stabbed the other one to hide the evidence

"now i've paid my debt to you, duff." reoccurring motif here that duff and macbeth have Issues.

duff commits crimes and forces an interrogation in a hospital asmr