#lmao you can really see those cane-user muscles in some of these

[cookinguptales]

OH, I FORGOT TO SHOW YOU THE LAIKA PHOTOS

So I did end up going to see ParaNorman at MOMI! And I got to see their little LAIKA exhibit, too!

I spent so much time oohing and ahhing over these puppets. They're so beautiful IRL. So detailed. I've wanted to see these up close for literally over a decade, and when I say I cried. lmao

(look at my son, Norman!!! and his little SHOES!!!)

(I remember watching a clip of a woman knitting Coraline's sweater on needles that were the width of human hair, and I've been obsessed with LAIKA's sartorial choices ever since. My god, the detail!)

(idk if a lot of people know how much LAIKA absolutely revolutionized the industry with their 3D-printed faces and inner mechanisms, but I'm obsessed)

(god the DETAIL in their sets, I was losing my mind)

IN CONCLUSION, I was very happy and an absolute geek and openly weeping during ParaNorman, lmao. A very fun day at the museum.

BONUS:

grumpin with the boys

he IS big!!! he's so big IRL!

bork bork bork

chilling with my favorite frog in the world

if taking selfies with muppets is wrong I don't wanna be right

[indecisive-dizzy]

Ramble about Eddie to your heart’s content, bestie :D

I’m honestly very interested in your ideas :3

Again, don’t be scared to just ramble in my ask box, I love hearing peoples ideas

AJDKKAGAJAKAK- THANK YOU <3 <3

I'm wailing rn /pos

My AU! Disabled Eddie!! Ok so he wasn't born with his disability, it came about later.

My Current story is that he had stroke in late middle/early high school! I have done research and Yes it is possible for teens and younger to have strokes. From what I recall it can be significantly worse for them compared to adult strokes

Eddie was left with permanent complications and is disabled bc of it. He has coordination, balance, and general mobility complications among a list of other post stroke effects. I just found the word I was looking for a few days ago to describe his mobility issues, it's Ataxia!

Eddie has to deal with bouts of muscle weakness on his right side which can effect his vision. He also gets vertigo a Lot and at this point dizziness is expected every time he stands.

He uses forearm crutches when he needs extra help walking bc he does have good days where he may not need them! But for longer distances he brings them bc he's better safe than sorry. He also has cane but he doesn't use it As much.

He also has a wheelchair that he Hates. He hates having to use it. But his Really horrible days leave him unable to stand, much less walk. He wishes he could just hide it somewhere and never think about it but alas. it's important.

He dislikes the wheelchair so much bc it makes him feel useless. He is Not! I want to clarify that wheelchair users are perfectly Capable and Independent! Eddie just has an issue with overachieving and working himself too hard. He wants to be helpful and do So Much but there are some things he can't do while in his wheelchair. He was stuck in a chair for months after his stroke and it was devastating back then. He has No good memories with a wheelchair so he continues to dislike using it.

Ok putting a read more bc I am not shutting up for a While

Relationships with the neighbors! Generally the same. Barnaby doesn't chase him bc that would be mean (? I can't think of a better way to describe it)

Sally is still Sally but she's specific on her mailman hate (lmao) to make sure Eddie and everyone else knows she's not faulting him for his disability.

Hmm yeah everything else is pretty much the same. I guess everyone is also more open about offering Eddie help from time to time if he looks like he needs an extra hand. They're not persistent or anything, but if they see him struggling to carry a package or two they're more inclined to help.

I still don't know how Howdy gets his shit. Honestly If Eddie is having a crutch or chair day,, Howdy just won't get his stock unless he gets it himself. I can't think of a way for Eddie to deliver all those heavy ass boxes.

He does ask people to pick up their packages occasionally too. He tries to deliver them all himself but it's not always possible. He offers a trolley they can use.

I want to talk about angst. So this is very specific, I'll try to keep it short. growing up, Eddie lived in a four bedroom house. two downstairs master bedrooms and two upstairs normal bedrooms. Before his stroke he was upstairs, his older brother in the other room, and his older sister in the bedroom downstairs.

Afterwards he had to move downstairs. His sister Hated this. She loved her room and her private bathroom and she was very prissy about it.

This snowballed into her just,, taking all her frustrations out on Eddie. He took Her Bedroom. He's getting all the attention. Her little brother was ruining everything.

Eddie was devastated by this. He went as far as to attempt to convince his parents to let them switch rooms again. He couldn't physically walk up the stairs most days but he just wanted his big sister to not hate him anymore.

Their relationship never fully recovered. As an adult Eddie will still find ways to blame himself and feel guilty. But he just can't bring himself to talk to her.

They used to be so close. She let Eddie experiment with her makeup, they talked about fashion and boys and she helped him so so much when he was questioning his sexuality.

and then it just, fell apart. But not quietly like a loose thread but rather a house that wasn't built quite right and the screws came loose one by one.

Eddie's memory gets really fuzzy when thinking that far back. but some of those memories are burned into his mind and he wishes he could forget them like he does everything else.

[cookinguptales]

Now that I’m home and I’ve had a couple days to recuperate, I can tell you about my trip! I won’t say much about the business side of things bc I don’t like to talk about my professional life much on social media (it’s just not a good thing to do) but the things I went to do turned out well! Better than expected, honestly. So that was a relief.

So then I had some time to myself, so I hit up them Broadway lotteries and tkts REAL HARD with all of the extra luck that you get when you’re seeing shows alone. I ended up having kind of weird mixed luck because I got to see ~three shows~ but 2/3 of them had major actors out sick and the replacements uh. Did not fill me with joy. So I’ll talk about the three shows I saw in a later post, but with the caveat that I might’ve liked them more if I’d gotten the usual actor.

I had uh. I had a tough time with my disability, honestly speaking. Traveling around NYC is always kind of rough if you’re disabled (try getting a taxi to stop for a wheelchair!) but it was worse than usual this time because I have just been in so much pain for about two weeks now because of one of my medications. (And yes, I’m talking to my doctor about it.) But it was also just people being dicks, y’know? Like the guy at check-in asking me if I really need an accessible room. Or the room I was given having a broken accessible door that they never actually fixed. (For those unfamiliar with them, mechanized accessible doors are EVEN HARDER TO OPEN THAN NORMAL DOORS WHEN THEY’RE BROKEN.)

Also just like. The guy at one of the theaters remarking that I should feel lucky that the theater had installed a rickety stair lift for PWD — and how mad he got when I was like “uh, less luck and more the law.” The able-bodied man who I heard say he wanted to use the disabled toilet at the theater bc he didn’t want to go to the front, and who watched me go in ahead of him with my cane, and then proceeded to keep banging on the door to get me to hurry up. The guy at a restaurant I stopped at who saw the hostess set aside a place for me to sit while I waited for a table — then stole the seat when I got up to ask her a question, and looked me in the eyes and didn’t move when I came back to the seat. Or all the many, many, many people who kicked my cane out from under me in crowds.

My faith in humanity was renewed a little bit with one woman: after the asshole took my seat at the restaurant, I was forced to just stand there in the crowded waiting room with people kicking my cane again and I finally lost my temper like “PLEASE STOP KICKING MY CANE” and this lady apologized, which comforted me a little bit. Like I honestly don’t believe she meant to, I was just in a lot of pain and it was one more thing, y’know? But then after I was done eating my meal, my waiter informed me that the lady who’d apologized had paid for my meal, which was incredibly kind of her. I told her she didn’t have to, that it wasn’t a big deal, but she did it anyway and that was super nice. It kind of reminded me of those buses in Japan, though… Like it was always some nice old lady who insisted I should take her seat, not any of the able-bodied young people around us. It kind of sucks that the one person who did something to apologize for hurting me was the one person who’d only done it by accident.

But then like. A few hours later as I got off the train, everyone ran past me (I walk slowly because I am a cane-user) to the cab line and then just like. Refused to look at me as I slowly hobbled past them all to the end of the line. And they continued to look away as I was like bowed over my cane in pain after a half hour of standing with my overnight bag. And I ended up sobbing because I was in so much pain once I got in the cab, which was humiliating, and the whole thing just felt so selfish and cruel?? Like I know we’re all tired, but forcing someone who’s clearly in pain to stand longer than anyone else??? That’s just so shitty to do???

Like. I have been disabled for most of my life. I well know the difference between things that are mandated by law and things that are just kind to do. And I feel a sort of righteous indignation when my rights are impinged upon, but I just feel kind of. Sad and mad and hollow when people are cruel. I know they have no legal obligation to not be dicks but like. That doesn’t mean they have to be dicks, y’know?

Anyway, that’s why I needed so long to recover after the trip. It was very useful business-wise and I had fun going to three different shows (post on that to come) but like. Boy, was I in pain. I was in so much pain. Fuck. After I got back, I had like a day and a half of muscle relaxers and pain killers and that’s about it. lmao. When I called my employer to report back on the business side of things, I was like lying in the dark in my room on a heating pad. haha.

But I mean. That’s just kind of what it’s like traveling while disabled. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯