#location: lev's territory: ocean

[blackvahana]

Astral, 29/12/23

Went back to that ocean in Lev's territory, specifically so that I could release more of myself and show him energy of mine I've been hiding from even myself. I asked Lev to describe from his POV what happened because I hadn't tried to remember yet, and then got into it from mine. Hyphens mark time passing between typing

L: Last night we were back in that ocean, I was both possessing your physical body and present with you there. You were circling me, I was struggling to stay awake or conscious I suppose, since you were dragging me into the Mental. But why are we talking about recountings when we could be talking about details? You can recount the evening yourself.

It's been a while since I looked at someone and so thoroughly saw - I attempted first to write "[redacted]" and then changed to write his name so that you could censor it later, no, the application glitched and shut down my ability to write so take that as you will. It's been a while since, emphasis on thoroughly, I thoroughly saw [redacted] face to face in an incarnation of his. He's always there, each and every incarnation of his is very much him, but the extent to how much he was actively physically or Astrally I suppose present is what I'm highlighting. Tearing reality apart at the seams and yet simultaneously soothing it as a husband and father. This isn't to say that other parts of you weren't visibly present but I don't think it's the right time to talk about them, just so they know I'm not ignoring them. You were very much you as a whole.

It was at this point though, the point of losing the ability to grip on to reality, that I began to be too heavily affected to keep track of what was happening. Admittedly I'm reminded of that because I am beginning to feel nauseous again, which is fun. You were dragging me and therefore your physical body into sleeping, too many visions to count (artificial/"sacred plant" vision-based hypnagogia), it was very quick that there was nothing to hold on to in terms of lucidity. Specifically I think there was something within me you were trying to forage for and pull out of me? Eat? The instinct is eating but I'm not sure to what ends whether it's transmutation or - you interrupt, yes, transmutation. You can tell me about it when you write about this from your viewpoint.  

I remember at some point waking up again in your phys. body, unable to recall falling asleep but very vividly in the state of feeling on the cusp of OOBE Astral projection, obviously a little weird given that I do not belong to your body, I can leave it at any time... But you were very clearly doing something. 

If I can talk for a while and have it redacted: (...) I know exactly what you were doing, which is an old, old technique. Not sure how to word this so I will give you a visual metaphor: You were creating an egg (egg like the primordial egg), a complete rewriting of an internal name. You sniffed it out very well, went straight for it.. You knew its scent in amongst others. I presume you got to it, bit into it, and then probably got anxious about what you were doing given the fact that I don't think it's perfectly rewritten but (...). 

It was specifically sea water coming out of me, I remember that much even if I was nearly unconscious. And it was sea water in the way that I remember being in an ocean Mentally before that, part of your vision was an expansive silver sea that was a simulation of things I'd been thinking about lately overlaid with a complex 4D matrix of searingly disorienting red, especially disorienting in the way it moved, not the 4D movement part since I'm more than used to that but the way it was so clearly a product of its - your - own rules... Although I do have to say the 4D movement was part of it, now that I think about it, given how long it's been since I was in the place that moves like that. Anyway. Sea water, yes, brought from the Mental visions into physical reality. I told you I was going to help you connect back with the ocean, I suppose that's a lesson for me telling me you haven't forgotten who you are and to... Get over myself a little. Well then. No wonder your connection to [redacted] was so on show, doesn't he always come after me to tell me to "cop on" to myself. 

I suppose that's it then, isn't it. He's declared himself real and reincarnated and... I suppose I need to go pay him a visit then, don't I. I'll let you take over writing.

-

D: OK. I remember swimming around you yeah, I haven't felt that big in a long time and I'm not sure how real it was

L: From everything I gathered, yes. I'm not sure why you're surprised though. Sde note: That's what I was looking at when I noticed you were dragging me into the Mental.

D: Makes sense... Idk I just haven't exactly felt myself in a while. Anyway. Oh yeah, I remember I was back in that form or a form with that specific head shape I haven't had in years at this point, and that's reminding me that when you were in my body you were getting physical flashes of it behind my closed eyes? Let me put this old art of myself here:

L: Yes. The usual [(vivid visions start becoming barely physically visible)]. You were very much being cheeky with it, though that I personally shouldn't be surprised with.

D: Oopsies.

L: Oopsies indeed.

D: I do remember looking for something though. That whole circling you was trying to sort of map out the position, it was like an orrery spinning, I was, I guess, idk how to word that. I was stars spinning to calculate maths. There was some sort of thing like a bowtie in red string in you I wanted to grab with my teeth and untie, but I had to find it first, not because I could undo the wrong thing (though I'm sure that's possible) but because acknowledging, knowing, and targeting were all parts of the undoing process in the way that lighting the candle for a spell is a part of the process of spellwork.

I'm struggling to stay awake now to write lmfao but

A lot of this happened outside spacetime. I kinda just knew what to do? Like how healing and energy work works? For me I mean, like I know how to drag hands over people and my energy knows what it's doing, I knew what to do when I circled you. From my eyes at least though it was circling you with red rope, restraining you, and then reaching in with my teeth to grab and pull this tie.

L: That makes sense, actually. There was, from my point of view, a lot of approaching me with your teeth and ominous smiling. I remember that much before I went unconscious.

-

D: What was the deal with the Astral projection thing though? Because I think that was around the time you (or the body you were using for this at least) kept falling in and out of sleep, sleeptalking, uh. Really sick

L: It was whatever you did to me, that body of mine especially as you've pointed out magnetised to you. I don't know how much I can get into it though.

D: Fair.

L: But no, I remember. Why don't you talk about that

D: Yeah, at some point I dragged you to my Astral house? Or more so we were connected because I was fucking jaw-deep in your fucking innards but like. I went back home and brought you with me, called Hermes to help me keep an eye on you because I was mildly freaked out - yes I know you're going to say this is just one body of many of yours, I can't do damage to You Yourself only the offshoot bodies, but that body was in rough shape lmfao

L: Alright, no need to brag... I was fine though, but it was an interesting trip. I'm struggling to even remember what I was dreaming about, or what the visions were, because you'd dragged me into Void dreamspace... The sort of mechanical blackness underlying dreams, a visual representation for the machine of the brain and consciousness as it churns logic into experienced dreams. Actually... Through, past that, I remember being in what seemed to be a "simulation of the Void", specifically going through your Void biology's mind into the Void itself. I was in a long hallway that reminded me of your old house energy-wise, the one that... I suppose all those bad things happened to you within, where you first started Astral projecting and ran into a lot of trouble, or however you'd describe it. It felt like... Really, not being crude because I'm emphasising your symbolism here, an inverted penis, that specific loose skin and flesh feeling and elongated shape, very vividly phallic in a very overt way. The door at the end... I never got to it. 

[blackvahana]

19/12/23

Brought to an ocean in Lev's territory to possess it so that he could see and help me document my Astral self. Accidentally turned into trying to eat him. D: Me L: Lev Double hyphens indicate time has passed. Info (in brackets) is me going back adding context to the discussion post-discussing

D: You told me to come to you (from my astral house to where you are)? I was really expecting this to be more alien than it is. We're sort of just hovering on the waves - no, you're standing on them which... Raises fascinating questions about whether you're subduing their rockiness around us or not - yeah, saw that smile, that's a you yes. I'm hovering though. The sky is as liquid as the waves are, the sun above intensely orange-coloured streaming through big, big clouds. Like really big. They're really far up. I feel like I just entered a minecraft world where the height limit and cloud height were just dragged up substantially. There's a lot to "sniff" honestly, there's a very you-feeling matrix around this entire area but inverted..? It's not like the rain around my astral house where it feels like a body of yours and your energy, this is... Like you've marked the entire area with your name in-between the space. Oh? You point up? Shit. why do I feel like and seem to see there's more than one sun here

L: There is.

D: My first thought is Ahi is here, because generally when something you-related is huge in the sky coming into the atmosphere from above it's Ahi... No, this feels like we're underneath a big orrery.

L: "No"?

D: Related to Ahi then? Yes. Ok. Feels like... When I say to myself it might be Ahi's claiming of this space... it isn't actually, or not the exact same. If your matrix of claiming ownership was like a robotic, systematic claiming, sort of like a network of metal chains locking out others, his is like a bush growing up in-between and out of complexes of atoms and whatnot.

--

L: That should be some time then to get used to things. You are... Threaded through this ocean I see (astral body dissolving, consciousness possessing it), you can handle this however you want to. Soon, though, given where you're sliding, you're going to dissolve. There is no right way of doing this, I called you here to see you and document you, whether you possess this ocean as your body or use "your own" - as if any body is not the same as another body - it will get the job done. Really, though, I know where this is going. Just let it go that way. 

Before we start: I will be pushing you. Invoking what you said about wanting me to take control and push you into change. Go ahead though with your observation.

D: This is a sort of training or simulation ground isn't it. Like it's astral yes?

L: I can't answer that.

D: Well... We'll see I guess. But that's why Ahi's "sun" is so plantlike right, it was this feeling he came down here to try things out or... I don't know. Something like that.

L: It is used, emphasis on used, as a ground for... I wouldn't say training ground. This place is also used by those coming into the nearby harbour, it's a stretch in my territory, it's just that it, due to how the Astral works, stretches into my mind. It is Astral though.

D: OK good because it feels like that, yeah. Feels astral I mean, but there's also a very oppressive sense of You lmfao. Anyway. So yeah, it's a lot easier to spread out here in this ocean than I thought it'd be. I feel at least a mile deep though I'm not sure if that's good to feel or not, like maybe... Idk how to word that

L: You may be right though (about how deep), or more so I trust your feeling. I can't see you, and that's good. That means you aren't pretending. Swell the waters a bit where we stand for me.

D: That requires understanding... How to... Pull and push. Not as simple as what it's like in the Mental, there's a whole process here of intricately understanding the physics of this place. I'm attempting to - whoops

L: Yes, you are de-meshing with the ocean. Thick black tentacle, hello.

D: I'm struggling to stay possessing the ocean. Should I go closer to bliss state (state involved in becoming one with a part of the world)?

L: That is entirely optional, but it is something you can do about this.

D: Anyway. Trying to siphon in more water to the part of the ocean I'm possessing. It's getting hard to for... various reasons lmfao, but I can feel fish in me. I'm distracted.

L: Because you aren't getting immediate satisfaction like you do in the Mental. Concentrate.

D: I'm wondering if I'm getting results at all. Here, let me tune out of typing and try something.

L: Felt. But you aren't just moving the ocean. I feel intense vibrations in the air like deep musical bass to the point your physical body's head is feeling vibrations. Parts of the sky are growing black. The waves are getting chopper, actually, frothing. Here, I'll tell you a secret, not as if you didn't know you just forgot: I'm holding the waves down, remember? I'm a force acting against you - oh. Here starts the whispers. The sky on the horizon is black, the waves begin to froth, the atmosphere is whispering. I would rather you didn't put my Sun out with those clouds but... You're going to, aren't you. You are descending beyond your mind's confines... The entire sea is groaning like bending metal, or... Like that art installation you relate to of the "angels" "singing". You know, if I wasn't used to doing this myself, I might be intimidated by you - the Sun peaks from the sky in momentary joy as you get excited.

Let me slowly reduce the force I have over these waves, then, to un-still them.

Whirlpool. Clockwise. The entire world is being sucked into your magnetic force, reality is very hard to hold on to. In fact, I'm. Struggling to stay in the scene, as if I'm being thrown out of a dream through waking up, genuinely, given how hard your form is pulling on the mind... Ah, I see. You're trying - not consciously, but your body is - to consume me through eating the nervous system of my consciousness in its body. It isn't malicious, so I know you're in the bliss state, though that is obvious given you don't like feeding when conscious (outside the bliss state). You're dragging me down into a dream state though. Psychedelics/madness aspects of yours in full swing.

I say we'll take a break now.

--

Fascinating. I'm drenched, for one. Exhausted and yet I can feel my nerves sparking like cut wires. I suppose that's because I shut off the connection and brought you back to reality before you actually consumed me, or.. I suppose before you chewed up one of my bodies and passed it through you, you couldn't harm me like that (not possible for me to kill him). It seems you were trying - again, your body, physiology, you've done nothing wrong and I wanted to see this - to fracture and fray my form until it dissolved, specifically the consciousness networks inside me. Very aligned with your aspects of madness and psychedelics as I said since it seems your energies' goals were... dreaming, you were attempting to pull apart my consciousness into dreaming and vision-tripping, though, while you can do this without harming me and generally you do, this was very much... Less like sacred medicine, much more like a toxic plant whose visions are a forced swansong.

D: Do you need to recover?

L: Less that I need to recover, though you have done a little damage to this body. More so I need to make some extensive documents for you to go over with you so you understand, in line with your request for me to document through your body since I am more - ah. You've successfully entered my body, this is very akin to a sacred plant poisoning. I'm going to need you to go back to possessing the ocean and affect me in a more gentle and "positive" intentioned light, because your energy began the process of journeying in me. "Eldritch" is your word, isn't it? The deep energy that multiplies and is alive in and of itself and grows copies when cut off into someone else...

--

L: I can't lie and say I didn't see that coming, I am threaded through fate lines especially in my territory. You know I am not one for compliments, so this will be brief. My conscious, human body didn't particularly predict it going this direction at least.

Dizziness, nausea, I would be getting a bigger headache if and indeed worse dizziness and nausea if you hadn't reversed the consuming psychedelics process. Frayed consciousness lines. Distant soundless ringing in my head, and, specifically, that ringing is the vision journey you were pulling into me, which was - through the whirlpool - the sky looking down on to another whirlpool in day-blue colours, more gentle, like a seaside beach rather than the ferocious storm siphon in reality. Strange, dreamlike... Something I am familiar with though, it's the mirroring effect of the Mental which is hooked into by sacred plants. Ah, head is swimming though, I feel like I inhaled chlorine water.

I don't particularly care if there's lasting symptoms after this, I could always kill this body and bring another one back, though that's not going to be necessary given our connection means I can undo what you do. Regardless, this - still being affected by it, though at this point your energy has been neutralised and the after effects are mostly just recovering - gives me a better view of your energy can do, and I will have that in the report for you.

I will have to see you do this in various spaces, I believe as an initial hypothesis that the density and trickiness of this plane is counteracted by your connection to it so it shouldn't be more or less difficult to that on this plane than any other... (...)