#locked out of fucking pinterest so dont mind me.....

[i-cant-sing]

Okay but I need yall to help me figure out the character(s) for the following scenario:

Imagine a romantic yandere falling for reader, and ofc reader isn't in love with yandere for obvious reasons like red flags. Maybe they did try dating, Yandere is a charmer, comes from a rich family, he's smart and hardworking and oh so head over heels in love with you. He's always taking you out on best dates, HAS to get you the largest fucking bouquets (excellent taste in flowers) and buys you expensive but well thought out gifts.

But for whatever reason, things dont work out and you break things off hastily and most likely over the phone before leaving the country. And yandere just- breaksdown. I mean my man does not have a good mental health as is, but you leaving, actually leaving him just breaks him down and he has a full blown panic attack.

I'm talking about yandere falling to his knees, clutching his chest and gasping for air, tears streaming down his face as he screams your name like a mad man. His family, they love him, they adore their son/brother/grandchild sm, it pains them to see him in such a miserable state. Yandere man is so delirious that he has to be sedated, tranquillised by medical professionals because he's just losing his fucking mind, babbling your name over and over again like a mad man. His condition only worsens as time passes, and so his family decides to take drastic measures because they can't see their beloved son/brother/grandkid so fucking dead and depressed and a shell of a once bright man. They love him so much, they only want ti see him happy, so they use their money and influence to track you down and try to convince you to return and take yandere back. When you refuse, they take the high way and force you to come with them, dragging you kicking and screaming to their private jet and fly all the way home, where yandere is.

You're in a dishevelled state, tears running down your cheeks as you struggle to free yourself from their grasps as they take you to yandere. And when yandere sees you... for the first time in months, his family sees the light return in his eyes as the yandere reaches out for you, scared that you're just his mind playing tricks. When he finally touches you, he is immeadiately pulling you into a hug, arms tightening around your body like a gilded cage as he cries into your shoulder and thanks his family for bringing you back. His family only smiles with tears in their eyes as they lock the door behind them when they leave, so that you don't go running away. Meanwhile, yandere has pulled you into his lap and he's looking at you with such sad eyes, staring at each feature of yours over and over again as if to memorise it all again. He can't help the tears that continue to slip out of his eyes, maybe he's crying that you're finally here, or maybe he's crying for all the time that's been lost when you weren't here. You fall asleep soon due to exhaustion, but yandere doesn't sleep a wink that night because he continues to stare at you and play with your hair very gently, finally closing his eyes when morning comes and he wraps his arms around you and traps your legs with his.

By now, you guys realise that the yandere's family is not only yandere for their son/brother/grandson but also for you. They are yandede for you too, but they're not allowing you to leave them or their son or even make him unhappy ever again. Some members are willing to let all you "tantrums" slide, while others are not so kind. BUT one thing is for sure, you're ALWAYS safe with yandere s/o, no matter what.

Now, for the characters I've had in kind for this scenario are:

Halim Mehmet Shah and the Shah Family (my ocs)

Dabi/Shotou and Todoroki clan (I am the OG creator of Yandere Todoroki Clan)

I wanna say Naoya or Toji but the Zenin clan hates them both....

Dick Grayson/Jason Todd and Batfam

What do you guys think?

Mood board for this scenario^^^(I love Pinterest)

[skeetlebeetle]

haha i hav 69 followers nice. N E WAY look. i meant 2 save this 4 after the apply fic came out (way 2 long xplanation under the cut) but im impatient n i j made all this cool art so i think u shuld see it

(DONT MAKE ME TAP THE SIGN!!! if yr gonna use my art [don’t repost] u gotta credit me!!)

so i shuld probably start w this: im rlly tired its 1:30 am n this will mostly b incoherent i think.

OK. 1 of the 1st social medias i evr got as a kid wuz wattpad. ive made n deleted so many accounts.. the memories r craz,,, n e way, its mostly behind me now but i still check back on the website sumtimez n i check my notifs or whatevz. n sum1 i followed a while back is doing an apply fic that is basically like 6 percy jackson ocs.

now heres the thing.. i dont actually rlly kno what an apply fic is. but based on the description n other oc entries in the comment section its a thing where u giv the writer yr character n then they write it into a fic. which is p cool!! n i do luv 2 make ocs.

heres the other thing: i dont hav n e percy jackson-esque ocs so i had 2 make sum. n where did my mind immediately go?? ace attorney ofc cuz thats my obsession. so i decided 2 make sum ocs based on ace attorney characters. they were gonna b reeeeeally obviously ace attorney @ 1st but i didnt want it 2 b super easy 2 figure out so i changed up their names n gave em different designs n stuff. but basically they all hav the same backstories n personalities other than all the god stuff

turns out tho that i rlly like making knock-off percy jackson/ace attorney ocs so i made em like supa separate from their original ace attorney source n now theyre j kind of their own oc guise. i rlly luv how theyre turning out actually

N E WAY all of this 2 provide context 4 me 2 say that i wanted 2 save these designs n this ace attorney xplanation bc it was kind of a silly lil harmless prank way of me being able 2 say i snuck ace attorney characters into a percy jackson-esque fanfic even tho i didnt rlly cuz, once again, these r basically my ocs now. also idk if n e of em will actually make it into the fic yet. n i didnt want the writer of the apply fic 2 stumble upon my carrd (which is, yes, linked in my wattpad) n accidentally find my tumblr n see this post n then like. idk. disqualify me. "but beetle u didnt hav 2 tell tumblr n e thing abt these ocs!!!" well sumtimez u j wanna post art dude!!

BUT WHATEVER MAN!!!! im paranoid n the writer finding my tumblr let alone reading n e of this is highly unlikely. even if they did they wuldnt fucking care. so heres sum ocs i came up w. n in case its not clear (which it probably isnt 4 at least 2 out of 4 of these designs/names), rich is gumshoe, jay is edgeworth, phoenix is phoenix (woaw), n spyridoula is maya

note that 'rich' n 'dick' r both nicknames 4 richard, jay's name is basically 'scales of justice' n also his dad died, phoenix is so lazy that his name is actually j 'phoenix,' n spyridoula is i think j named the word 4 'spirit' in greek. also shes a hippie

FINALLY: i think i got locked out of my old pinterest which was fine cuz i wasnt rlly using it n e more but 4 this apply fic i had 2 make either a moodboard or pinterest board 4 each character n y wuld i put in the effort of making a moodboard?? so heres my new pinterest which is j boards 4 these characters:

x

[mybiasisexo]

Games 🎮

anon asks: 37 and 45 for baekhyun

a/n: ok but in my defense, focused and in control bbh is the sexiest thing I've ever seen so... yeah. and he should've started a twitch a long time ago but that's neither here nor there. Also I am currently wearing the same shirt he is in the gif and no I will never shut up about the fact we have/had the same shirt k. Please enjoy and lmk what you think!!!!

DRABBLE GAME | MASTERLIST

got the pic from Pinterest and dont think op was original.....im sorry, but there is a watermark so... yeah?

“One more. I promise I’ll stop after one more,” Baekhyun, your boyfriend, mumbles distractedly. His nimble fingers fly confidently over the keyboard, eyes focused solely on the computer screen in front of him.

Baekhyun, or as the world knows him as, Bobohu, is a popular Twitch streamer. Known for his long intense lives. He is funny, handsome, and talented, garnering lots of viewers every time he streams.

“You said that an hour ago,” you grumble. Usually you don’t mind when he goes live, it is his job after all, but he has been going at it for a few hours longer than he normally does and, quite frankly, you really want him in the worst way right now. You’ll never admit it to him, but gamer Baekhyun turns you on like crazy. There is just something about how focused and serious he gets… how manly he is when he takes control of the situations simulated before him that leaves you feigning like an addict.

You need him desperately now.

And have been for hours. You have half a mind to take care of it yourself, but can’t resist the urge to lead him on a bit before resigning to the shower.

“Hyunnie,” you whine softly. He hums in reply a beat later, eyes are narrowed and bottom lip caught between his teeth as he shoots at his enemies.

God, he is so damn sexy.

You’re sitting on the edge of the bed beside his desk. If he were to turn his head to the left, he’d be looking at you directly, but you are far enough away that you aren’t on screen and can’t be heard over his game, although his audience can definitely hear his responses from the mic hovering over his pouty mouth.

Time to play your own game.

You pull your shirt over your head, the movement catches his attention, drawing his eyes over to you.

He does a double take.

He lets out a breathless laugh. “What are you doing?” He asks, doing it so that it looks as though he is talking to the game.

“You’ve been on too long. I miss you,” you confess, keeping your voice low.

He doesn’t respond verbally, just shakes his head. Oh, this won’t do.

You get up from your spot on the bed and walk over to the back of his desk, falling onto your knees to crawl underneath it, making sure to avoid any wires so that you don’t accidently turn anything off. Your hand comes up to caress his crotch and he jumps with a shout.

“Fuck,” he mutters. Baekhyun sinks back into his chair and glances down, locking eyes with you. You don’t fail to miss the way his glittery orbs cloud over, darkening in warning. His tone matches them. “I died.”

You don’t try to hide your victorious grin, and decide to add slight pressure to his groin, a message you are sure he receives loud and clear.

He lifts his head back in response, resting it against the back of his gamer chair, and rubs his face with his hands. To those watching, it will appear as though he is reacting to getting killed.

“Don’t mind me,” you breathe, crawling further so that you can rest your chin on his knee. “You can play another round, if you like.”

“I….” He pauses, debating. He takes another glance down at you peeking up at him between his legs and when he faces his camera it’s with a new resolve. You watch, transfixed and slightly mystified, as he brightly smiles and tilts his head cutely to his audience. “Well! Alright everyone! That’s all for today! Thank you for tuning in! I’ll be back on tomorrow, so anticipate!”

He did his signature move of cupping his chin with his thumb and index finger and winks before turning off the live.

Once he is sure he’s no longer streaming, he tears his headset off and goes straight for the hem of his sweats.

You can’t help but laugh at his eagerness. “I thought you wanted to play some more?”

“And miss this?” His excitement is contagious and your mouth fills with saliva in anticipation of finally getting what you’ve wanted for so long. “Never.”

“Who said I wouldn’t’ve continued while you played, Baekhyun?”

He hooks a finger under your chin, dragging your face up so that you’re looking up at him. His face has lost that dark lustful edge, instead rounding out in a soft and loving way. He grins to himself and it melts your heart instantly.

“But I love to watch you.”

Those are the magic words, and you waste no more time finishing your own game.

[sunsinrinn]

I've seen that your request box is open and i wanna request one! How about a bakusquad prison AU (you know that one fanart from pinterest) and a gender neutral police reader. They just kept on flirting with them while the reader giving them the silent-treatment and a cold shoulder but secretly liking their flirts. You can ignore this if you aren't interested. Thanks!! (Can be separated or combined) Ps: i'm sorry if my english isn't perfect TwT

Hey lovely, Sorry it took a while I am so happy to write this for you! You’re English was great <3

Bakugo was in prison for setting off explosives.

His hands had to be restrained because that mad genius had a knack for exploding just about anything.

You were the one put in charge of guarding him

You always had a stoic look when he sees you so he made it his mission to try and make you smile

So he began to flirt

Every. Single. Day. For months.

You ignored him at first but slowly instead of anticipating your days off you anticipate the days you work

It may have something to do with Bakugo.

It definitely does

You don’t show it but you really enjoy his flirting

You even had to force your face to not smile because that’s how irresistible he was

He continued to flirt everyday until he was released on good behavior.

You were sad to see him leave but as you remove his cuffs he asks for a piece of paper and pen which you give to him confused.

He quickly scribbles out a pick up line asking for a date and his number and passes it to you

You look confused but laugh when you see the corny ass line

“That’s the first time I’ve ever seen you laugh or smile” he says

You blush and say “Hopefully you dont get into trouble again”

“I dont know about that”

“Well then, that just means I wont be able to go on that date then”

He freezes before saying, “I’ll be on my best behavior”

You wave at him as he leaves and return to work

Denki was thrown in prison for starting an electrical fire. He didnt mean to but he is a clutz so yeah

You were one of the guards in charge of gen pop. So that meant you’d see him everyday

When he first saw you he instantly fell in love

He flirted with you everytime he saw you

He’s a fucking simp for you

You’d always remain emotionless when he flirted

but deep down you wanted to laugh because he always managed to mess up by stuttering

You knew you shouldn’t like a prisoner but Denki made it impossible to hate him

Especially everytime he stuttered.

You grew fond of him and his flirty antics.

You eagerly waited for your shift to begin everyday

He was eager for the days you were in too

He even memorized your schedule

He promised himself that when he leaves prison he will try and keep contact with you

He really didnt know if you liked him back

So he assumed you did

Bless his soul when he was being released he is jumping up and down with joy and asks for you

Your coworker looked confused at first but decided to call you in

You enter and he lights up even more

“Can I number your have?” He blushes when he realizes what he said, “I mean- number have i?”

You laugh, “Yes you can number my have” you write it down as he blushes even more red

You hand it to him and wave at him, “I hope to hear from you soon, Denki!”

Kirishima, he went to prison for being caught with someone’s weed.

It was Sero’s

Kirishima lied about it being his because he’s loyal af

You are assigned to guard right beside his cell in Gen pop.

At first he doesn’t talk to you because he’s nervous

Slowly though he begins to flirt with you

Shyly at first but later on is more confident

Since you never react he thinks you hate him or feel uncomfortable

He almost stops flirting but doesn’t because if you didnt like it you’d tell him, right?

Little did he know you always looked forward to guarding near him.

Even though you wish you could laugh out loud and flirt back

You dont because it would be deemed unprofessional

He doesn’t have to be there long

He does know he will get your number when he is released

And he will kill Sero for getting him into this mess

The day finally comes where he is going to leave and you gotta act emotionless but deep down you know you will miss hearing his flirting

So when he is about to leave he calls you from his cell

You see he is a nervous wreck but proceeds to ask for your number so he can contact you.

You smile and considering he leaves soon you decide to finally break your silence

“Sure” You reach in your pocket and grab a receipt you had and quickly scribble down your number, “Here you go Kirishima”

He looks at you mesmerized and grabs the receipt, “Wow you have such a pretty voice”

You roll your eyes and crack a small smile and watch as he is taken to be released

Sero this dumbass got thrown into prison for possession of drugs

Weed, the devils lettuce, ya know

He finds himself really attracted to you

He also becomes a simp for you

He flirts every single day hoping you flirt back

But you never do

Doesn’t mean he will stop trying though

You try to not listen to his flirting because you know one day you will break character and flirt back

You decide to just not talk to him at all and rather just listen to his flirting

You used to hate coming into work because of the guys throwing lewd comments at you

Now you cant wait to go to work

You know Sero doesn’t mean any harm with his flirting so you dont mind it

He never says anything inappropriate or makes you feel uncomfortable

Since he wasn’t caught with much weed he was only going to be there for a little while

As the time flies by you realize that Denki is getting released earlier than scheduled so you become sad

You go in and decide today will be the day you finally talk to him and as soon as you arrive to your post you see him waiting all ready to leave

He lights up when he sees you and gets up

“Hey can I have your number?”

You smile and say, “wow someone is getting bold”

He blushes and sheepishly says, “I just want to be able to talk to you and get to know you outside of your job”

You crack another smile and scribble down your number on a piece of paper he already had on in his hand.

He smiles and says, “I am glad I met you l/n”

“Me too Sero”

You watch as he leaves and you begin your job

Mina is in prison for throwing cleaning chemicals on a perverts face that was harassing a girl while she was at work

She doesn’t regret anything

“No ragrets”

When she sees you stand beside her cell she begins to shamelessly flirt

You ignore her and don’t speak a word to her

She notices it so she ups her game

She continues to flirt with you everyday you guarded her area

She never gave up and since you never screamed at her to stop she continued

She would flirt and compliment you but never says anything lewd

You, hate to admit it, but love when she flirts with you.

You know you cant socialize with the prisoners so you find it hard to ignore her when all you want to do is flirt back

You always go in happy during your shifts because you know mina will be there to flirt with you

Sometimes she says a corny ass pick up line and you have to really hold in your laughter.

After she serves her time she calls you over

You walk over and stay silent until she speaks up again

“You know, I’ll never forgive you for something you did”

Your heart falls at her words and begin to rack your brain thinking of what you did

She watches your reaction and speaks up again, “I’ll never forgive you for stealing my heart, you’re the one who should be locked up”

After hearing her say that you burst out laughing

Hearing your laughter she thinks, ‘wow, her laughter is so beautiful’

“So, can I have your number?”

“Of course, Mina” You scribble it on her arm that she extended for you and looks at it for a while before getting her things

“Hopefully I see you soon l/n”

You smile and say “hopefully” as you watch her being led towards the exit.

MASTERLIST

A/N- I have completed it! I hope you like it and meets your request<3 I had fun writing this 💕 Also i didnt know if you wanted mina in there too so I added her just to be safe :)

[gotatext]

hello, it’s swamp witch nora again…. i couldn’t stay away.... hitting u with a tiny baby boy who is also terrible (sometimes).  musical softboi who loves karl marx and hates children dying in cobalt mines to make smart phones. as is tradition, here’s the pinterest board, have a peruse. fyi sorry for those of u who have read this intro a thousand times i literally.... can never b bothred to change it n i think thats really sexy of me x

CHARLIE PLUMMER / DEMI-BOY — don’t look now, but is that rory bergström  i see? the 23 year old music student is in their junior year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be whimsical, impassioned, self-indulgent and nitpicky, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he / they will make a name for themselves living in griffin street. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her. )

aesthetics.

bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and djing into the blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars, marxist literature in stacks against your bedroom walls, a burner phone twice-shattered and a stash of replacement sim cards.

tw ocd, anxiety, drugs

half-swedish, half-british. the swedish is on his mother’s side. he’s bilingual but thinks in english. only really speaks swedish around his mother. only child, and kinda put a lot of pressure on himself to be the perfect kid when he was young, but his parents are honestly, quite decent? and just want him to have a nice life, they don’t care if he isn’t successful or rich or anything, they’re honestly rather solid. (wow imagine having nice parents, a first for all my characters, im literally this meme)

grew up in peckham, a suburb of london. growing up, his mum was a model / actress / waitress who later retrained as a speech therapist and his dad worked in her majesty’s service at buckingham palace. his dad wasn’t allowed to tell his family what his job entailed but rory suspects it’s probably very boring and just involves a lot of…. logistics n security.

was bullied a lot at school. [cole sprouse voice] he didn’t fit in and he didn’t want to fit in. unironically wore a trenchcoat to school every day of his life. spent most of his lunchtimes in the library because it was his safe space. as a result he knows…. loads of useless information because 30% of his school years were spent reading anthologies on space and the vikings etc. would be good on a game show. obsessively recorded every episode of university challenge as a child.

middle-class and lowkey quite wealthy but rarely talks about money, one of those well-off people who still wears really old shitty shoes and only spends money if they absolutely have to

virgin who can’t drive

into star wars, not into the big bang theory. feminist. can’t watch horror movies

favourite film is where the wild things are. also loves the florida project. thinks kids are the sweetest thing and can’t wait to be a dad to some

has been musical for as long as they can remember. first picked up guitar because he thought it would make this girl esther who he was in love with like him, but he just ended up falling in love with music instead.

formulated several different bands as a kid but ultimately had to give it up cos he was quite controlling and got fixated on making a certain sound so it wasn’t really fun for the others. got into electronic music because it was something he could do basically on his own and keep tweaking until he got it perfect

always drumming their fingers or strumming invisible guitar strings. tends to avoid parties bc he has quite has specific tastes when it comes to music and doesn’t like listening to r&b for eight hours while people throw up into plastic cups.

a techno connoisseur. has been making electronic music since he was about twelve.

after his parents divorce, when he was fourteen, rory & his mother moved to run-down suburban neighbourhood, pittsfield, massachussets.

big into photography. he mostly uses a canon 35mm camera, but occasionally uses disposable ones when he wants that more rustic feel.

moving to the states, their photography became more focused on suburban neighborhoods and are often quite dark and cinematic (think gregory crewsden). here are some shots of pittsfield i really like which rory has on his wall [1] [2] [3]

falls in love 12 times a day. never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. gets sweaty when someone cute looks at him. flirting?? what?? would prefer to idealise them from a distance

gender??? hm. rory don’t really know where they fit yet, sometimes he feels like a guy and sometimes they dont feel like anything at all!! slippin out of his physical form into the spirit realm! isn’t really bothered, cos they think it’s a social construct anyway. uses he/they pronouns interchangeably, but currently feels like ‘he’ is more fitting. won’t necessarily pull anyone up on it cos he knows having an identity that’s constantly…. in flux.. can be annoying for others … and doesn’t want to be a burden even tho it isn’t at all?? rory internalises guilt

everything is socially constructed. mirrors let you move through time. the whole thing’s a metaphor. he thinks he’s got free will but really he’s trapped in a maze. in a system. all he can do is consume. people think it’s a happy game. it’s not a happy game — it’s a fucking nightmare world, and the worst thing is, it’s real and we live in it!!!!

has ocd. tries to let it affect his life as little as possible, but obviously it’s incredibly hard to control a compulsive disorder. was teased for it at school when other kids started to notice. he was obsessed with the number five, would wash his hands five times, count stairs i groups of five, he could only use the corridors in one direction and always had to keep his hands busy. it manifests itself in hyper-fixations (trains when he was a child – specifically steam engines – then later he became obsessed with space and the patterns of constellations, and now he’s obsessed with synthesizers) and repetitive behaviours like counting stairs. doesn’t really affect his social life at all, he can jst get a bit locked-on n hyper-focused sometimes.

has insomnia. barely ever sleeps. finds it hard to switch off from work / writing / gaming / whatever’s preoccupying him in that moment. he’s always awake at 5am and quite often sleeps in through classes but still gets really good grades because he’s very good at his course. rarely attends classes. prefers to work independently. doesn’t really trust his tutors are intelligent enough to be teaching him, and is particularly suspicious of the lockwood tutors. a music snob tbh

occasionally deals weed n pills when strapped for cash, but only 2 ppl he knows, and on a very small scale grass-roots level!! (so its ok???) rollerskates around campus dealing cos they dnt have a car. we love to see it

aesthetics: bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and drumming into blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, watching vine compilations until your eyes turn square, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars

likes: techno, the webpage cats on synthesizers in space, allen ginsberg, vintage gramophones,  floating points, lcd soundsystem, marijuana, soft dogs that let you pet them, late-night strolls talking about the universe, independent films, cigarettes, herbal tea, gallows humour, long showers, brown eyes, tchaikovsky, dr. seuss, constellations, photography, late night jazz, vintage game boys and girls who could rip his still-beating heart out of his chest and use it as an ashtray. dislikes:  weddings, funerals, formality, button-up shirts that people actually button-up, bananas, hot coffee, social media, people who watch and play sports, rap music – especially of the misogynistic variety, indie wankers in wire-framed glasses that play ed sheeran songs at open mic nights.

plot ! with ! me ! i’d say all the usual “exes fwb hookups spiel” but rory… has never hooked up with anyone… i feel like a deer in the headlights of love……. so give me

study buddies,

people who are also into techno and are music snobs about it,

people who love all kinds of music,

people who are in bands that maybe rory’s recorded and produced stuff for,

people he actually jams with (he plays bass and synth),

unrequited crushes!!

actually i think rory had sex w delilah in the last version of this rp so if u want a hook up plot its possible just unlikely. they’d hav 2 be the driving force i reckon cos rory doesn’t really act on impulses like desire or anythin.... jst bottles that shit up !!! but yea we could do a spicy hook up plot maybs, depending on the person

someone they met at a knitting club in freshman year and have remained friends with despite no longer going to it

people rory knows from open mic nights and gigs

library girlfriends / boyfriends that he stares at longingly while paging through leatherbound volumes

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

people he deals weed to on his rollerskates (why r all my characters obsessed with rollerskates)

skaters. rory is really shit at skateboarding. like really shit. help the smol

[honeyfreckled]

we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER. 

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love  you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it. 

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.