#exo drabble

[baekhyunsbestie]

i luv your girl [pt. 2]

ˋ°•*⁀➷ pt. 1

⠀⠀PART OF ME FEELS SO BAD BUT

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀OOOOOHHH, NOT THAT BAD!!!!!!

˗ˏˋ ꒰ disclaimer!!!!! ꒱ ˎˊ˗ btw this series is written from the pov of a deeply unstable, morally bankrupt character lmaoooo so it’s essential to clarify that this behavior is NOT romanticized or condoned!!!! it's literally meant to be disturbing, toxic, and consuming 🥹

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 18+ content / mdni ꒱ ˎˊ˗ 2.6k+ words. yandere!baekhyun x f!reader. bestfriend's gf scenario. unreliable narrator. explicit language. smut. voyeurism. masturb*tion. obsessive behavior/fixation. unhealthy parasocial dynamics. toxic posessiveness. mentions of c*mplay. breeding kink.

it starts with a sock.

a stupid fucking sock clinging to the inside of the dryer drum, just out of reach. and you — sweet, stupid little thing — climbing halfway inside like the main character of some cheap porno.

shorts so unbelievably fucking tiny they might as well be denim underwear. tank top clinging like a second skin, hem riding up until a sliver of your soft belly is exposed, just begging to be kissed, bitten, bruised.

you’re babbling about something. something stupid and innocent — laundry detergent maybe, or how you think one of the neighbors downstairs is responsible for your missing amazon packages — but baekhyun’s brain doesn’t register a single fucking word.

he’s not listening. he can’t listen.

because all he sees is the curve of your ass sticking out, the vulnerable line of your spine arching prettily, the way your thighs tremble just slightly as you struggle to reach deeper—

he’s gonna throw up. or pass out. or fuck you stupid against the rattling metal of the dryer while you cry out his name.

a broken sound claws up his throat. he stumbles back, mutters some excuse — “forgot somethin',” he croaks, voice cracking like a boy catching his first glimpse of porn — and flees.

he slams the door to his bedroom behind him. leans back against it like that alone could hold back the tidal wave surging inside him.

his pants are shoved down in a frenzy, boxers tangled around his knees. he fists his cock with a desperate, shuddering groan, hips already twitching into his own hand like an animal in heat.

he imagines you just like that — trapped, vulnerable, so fucking sweet — stuck halfway inside the dryer while he crowds in behind you. presses you down. splits you open on his cock until the only thing you can think about is him.

not jongin. not anyone else. only him.

his forehead knocks against the door with a dull thud as he jerks himself faster, spit-slick and frantic, chasing the fantasy spiraling out of control in his mind.

he’d grab your hips and slam into you so fucking hard the dryer would rattle on its bolts, the whole apartment shaking with every brutal, claiming thrust.

you’d cry for him. whimper for him. beg for him.

and he wouldn’t stop. not even when you sobbed that it was too much, not even when your legs gave out and you slumped against the humming dryer door, cheek pressed to the cold metal, cunt clenching around him so tight it bordered on agony.

he’d wreck you. utterly.

“f-fuck,” baekhyun hisses, voice shredded, barely human.

his cock is an angry, leaking thing in his hand, flushed dark and swollen. every tug sends lightning up his spine, every desperate, slippery stroke makes his gut coil tighter, hotter.

he bites down on the meat of his fist to keep from moaning your name out loud, but it’s no use. your scent is still clinging to his clothes, his skin, invading every square inch of his fucking lungs.

the scent of your shampoo. your lotion. your soft, sweet fucking skin.

he can see it. can see you twisting around to look at him, wide-eyed and trembling, lips glossy and kiss-swollen, whispering, “baekhyun... please...” in a voice so wrecked it makes his balls ache.

he can feel it. feel you squeezing around him, your body struggling to take him, stretch for him, begging for him without even a single word.

he jerks harder, meaner, teeth gritted, muscles locked.

“mine,” he snarls against the door. “mine, mine, fucking mine—”

his orgasm slams into him without mercy, violent and punishing, white-hot and blinding. he spills across his stomach in thick, fevered ropes, his whole body convulsing with the force of it, hips grinding desperately into his own hand like he’s trying to fuck you through the fucking door.

but it’s not enough. it will never be enough.

baekhyun collapses to the floor, chest heaving, cock still twitching weakly against his stomach. his head drops back against the wood with a hollow thunk, and he laughs — low, broken, feral.

because this isn’t just hunger anymore. this isn’t just lust.

it’s a disease. a sickness. you are the infection, rotting him out from the inside and he would gladly die of it.

one day, he promises himself, voice raw in the hollow cavern of his mind. one day you won’t look at him like a friend anymore. one day you’ll look at him and see the truth.

you’ll see that you were always meant to belong to him. body, mind, soul.

and when that day comes—

he’ll never fucking let you go.

but until then, he’s cleaning up the mess he made—smearing warm, sticky streaks of cum off his stomach with trembling fingers, chest still heaving, shame pooling thick in his gut.

he should be done. should be absolutely fucking horrified. but instead, he’s smiling.

a slow, wicked curve of his lips that has no business looking so soft on a face twisted with need.

because in his head, it’s you he’s cleaning. you, trembling in his sheets—lips kiss-bruised, thighs parted, wrecked in the prettiest way. you, eyes hazy, mouth open and breath hitching while he drags two fingers down your belly, scooping up the mess he made between your legs.

his. his.

and fuck—fuck, the image of his cum dripping out of your tight, used hole has his cock twitching back to life like it’s possessed.

he can see it. the way your cunt would flutter, still clenching around nothing, swollen and aching, painted with his spend. the slow ooze of it spilling down the crease of your thigh.

his mouth waters. his eyes roll back. he lets out a low, broken sound like it’s been clawed from somewhere deep in his chest.

he doesn’t even finish wiping himself off—just grabs the damp rag, tosses it aside, and wraps his cum-slick fist around his cock again.

the stroke is slow at first. greedy. worshipful.

his head drops back against the wall, lashes fluttering as he gasps your name like it’s a fucking prayer.

you, on his bed. you, full of him. you, ruined and marked and moaning like no one else could ever make you feel this way.

he pumps his cock harder, faster, smearing more of his own mess along the length.

it’s depraved. disgusting. fuck, he’s never felt better.

but what he doesn’t know—what he’s too far gone to even notice—is the soft creak of floorboards just beyond the door.

the sharp inhale caught behind parted lips.

because there you are.

barefoot, frozen, eyes wide, one hand braced against the cold wood, the other slowly sliding down your stomach to press between your legs.

you’d only meant to check on him—just a soft knock, a quick “you okay?”

but then you heard it. your name, breathed out in that hoarse, reverent tone like it hurts to say it.

his voice—raw and wrecked and soaked in hunger.

moaning your name.

and now your thighs are pressed together, aching, a heat blooming so sharp and fast it makes your knees buckle.

your panties are soaked. you feel it, feel yourself throbbing at the thought of him touching himself to the idea of you.

you don’t stay to hear the rest. don’t wait to see how the fantasy ends.

you bolt—quiet and breathless, heart pounding as you disappear into jongin’s room, hand already slipping beneath your waistband before the door even clicks shut behind you.

he should’ve left it alone.

he should’ve just shut his door, stayed in his room, cleaned himself off in silence, and pretended none of it ever happened. pretend he hadn’t just fisted his cock in the dark like some depraved freak while picturing you bent over the dryer, soft and sweet and begging for him. pretend he hadn’t just come so hard he saw stars, all while whispering your name into the fabric of the guest bed like it was a sacred ritual. pretend, most of all, that he wasn’t thinking of you — his best friend’s girlfriend — with his cum still cooling on his stomach.

but the silence outside his door is unbearable. the space where your voice had filled the hallway just minutes ago now feels too still, too empty. and when he steps out — barefoot, shirt stuck to his damp chest, guilt clinging to him like a second skin — you’re not in the kitchen. not curled up on the couch with your laundry like you said you’d be. your basket sits abandoned in the hallway, clothes still warm, sock still missing.

he tells himself this is nothing. tells himself you probably just went to bed, probably didn’t even notice how quickly he left. maybe you didn’t see the way his hands shook, or how he couldn’t look you in the eye when you smiled at him. maybe you didn’t catch the way he choked on your name when you called for help.

maybe he can fix this.

he starts down the hallway slowly, wiping his palms on his pants, rehearsing the lie in his head. “hey, sorry 'bout earlier — my boss called, emergency shift thing, didn’t wanna be rude —” something casual. something light enough that you’ll just laugh it off and say it’s okay. maybe you’ll flash him that soft smile that makes his ribs ache. maybe he can salvage this. go back to pretending he’s a good man. a loyal friend. not someone who wants to steal what isn’t his.

he stops in front of your bedroom door — jongin’s bedroom door, technically, but lately it’s just become yours. he knows the way you always leave it cracked when you’re home alone, how you loop your fuzzy hair tie around the handle, how your perfume always lingers in the hallway like a ghost. the way this whole apartment smells like you now. warm, clean, sweet.

he raises his hand to knock. and then — he freezes.

the walls are paper-thin.

baekhyun learned that the first time he ever heard your laugh from the hallway — bright, easy, wrapping around his spine like a ribbon and tugging tight.

he learns it all over again now, forehead pressed to the wall just outside jongin’s room.

it’s faint. almost imperceptible. the softest rustle of sheets, followed by the barest catch in your breath. a wet, delicate sound beneath it all, something slick and steady. and then—

“oh, baek…”

his heart stops.

his name — tender, breathless, like it’s been pulled from the deepest part of you.

he doesn’t mean to lean in. doesn’t realize how close his ear is to the door until the cold wood chills his skin. his body moves on its own, frozen in place as a sharp current of heat shoots down his spine.

you moan again. this time louder. and this time — undeniable.

“baekhyun — ah! fuck —”

it hits him like a punch to the chest. his breath catches, jaw going slack as the sound washes over him—so real, so raw, like he could feel your voice on his skin. and he doesn’t think. can’t think. his body betrays him again, hand sliding down his front until his palm presses against his cock—already hard again, already aching with need.

he’s not imagining it. he can’t be.

not with the way the air shifts around him, thick and electric, charged with something unspeakable. not with the way your breaths punch through the silence — shaky, shallow, raw — each exhale catching at the end like you’re trying and failing to stay quiet.

then he hears it.

a low, mechanical hum, steady and familiar—the soft buzz of your vibrator thrumming against you, muffled through the door but still unmistakable. it vibrates in the base of his spine like a warning, like a dare, like temptation itself.

his lips part. his throat tightens.

he hears the sheets rustle as your body shifts, imagines your legs spreading wider, your hand adjusting the angle, the toy dragging along your slick folds until it finds that perfect spot.

and then—

another gasp. higher-pitched. wetter. a sound that blooms in his ears and blooms again in his chest, curling hot and low in his stomach.

you’re fucking yourself.

alone. behind that door. in jongin’s bed.

and you’re doing it while moaning his name.

baekhyun’s knees buckle slightly. he braces one hand against the frame to stay upright, the other sliding beneath his waistband with the same desperation he felt minutes ago. he strokes himself without shame now, without fear. his chest heaves with every ragged breath as he listens to you fuck yourself to the sound of his name, sobbing for him through clenched teeth while your fingers work deeper, faster, slick echoing softly through the wood like a melody made just for him.

and it’s wrong. so, so fucking wrong.

this is jongin’s house. jongin’s bedroom. jongin’s girlfriend.

but all baekhyun can think about is what you must look like right now. sprawled out on the bed, shirt hitched up under your chin, one hand between your legs, the other probably clutching a pillow to your chest like it’s him. your thighs parted, cunt glistening, needy and aching, your hole fluttering as you fuck yourself with two shaking fingers.

his hips jerk forward with a strangled groan. he’s close already — too close —b ecause your voice is cracking now, going breathless and wet, sobbing his name like you’ve been waiting your whole life to say it like that. like it hurts to hold it in.

and then you break.

you come with a gasp that could shatter him. the kind of noise you only make when you’re shaking all over, mouth falling open, body arching, heat crashing through you so hard it feels like drowning.

he almost comes again right there. the only thing that stops him is the sound of the front door unlocking.

click.thud.

“yo?”

jongin’s voice cuts down the hallway like a blade. baekhyun stumbles back from the door so fast he nearly trips, yanks his hand out of his pants and wipes it on his shirt, his heart leaping into his throat as footsteps round the corner.

“uh, baek?” jongin blinks, keys still in hand. “why’re you standing at my bedroom door?”

baekhyun turns, chest tight, face pale. “huh?” he croaks. “oh. uh… laundry just finished. was just gonna let ‘er know that way i can put a load in.”

jongin squints at him, brows pulling together with casual concern, completely unaware of the chaos unraveling inches away. “you okay, hyung? you look kinda… flushed.”

the words hit like a slap — light, harmless, friendly — but they lodge in baekhyun’s chest like guilt dipped in acid. his skin prickles with the heat of it, shame crawling up his neck like it’s trying to brand him. he lets out a laugh — forced, brittle, the kind of sound that cracks at the edges. it doesn’t touch his eyes. doesn’t even try. “yeah,” he says, shrugging with an air he doesn’t feel, “just hot in here, i guess. how was work?”

he doesn’t wait for the answer. doesn’t let himself look at jongin for more than a heartbeat, afraid his eyes will betray him. afraid they’ll flicker back to the door he was pressed against not even thirty seconds ago.

because on the other side of that wood, you’re still catching your breath. and he’s still hard. still burning.

and now he knows— it wasn’t just in his head. this sickness is mutual.

[mybiasisexo]

Entangled - Part 12

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Chapter Warning: Language Word Count: 8.5k Author’s Note: ...Hello 🙂 How has everyone been 🙂? Please dont look how long its been since I updated okay???? Lets focus on the fact that its chapter 12!!! Im so shook that its still going tbh but can i get a little commotion for still writing this? we really outchea!!! This story turned 3 years old a couple days ago lol I def should've been finished it already but hey, thats life! I want to thank everyone still invested and hope you love this new chapter! We have 2 chapters left!!!! Chapter 13 and an epilogue 🥲 so so bittersweet. but you guys have at least another year before its done lmaoo yall: thats not funny 😡 While rereading this story i realized something and I just want to mention, to anyone reading this fanfic, this is NOT a sign to get back with your ex!!!! ONLY if hes an exo member than you can consider it until then this is a work of FICTION!!! Pls pls dont be like Mel irl i beg 😫 Also is there anyone reading this named Melody? I thought about that too. Like you see thats the big nickname reveal and am like 'ok? thats just my name 🧍🏾‍♀️' lmfaoooo thats a funny thought! As always, thank you everyone! Replies, reblogs, and asks are greatly appreciated here! You know I LOOOOOVE yalls commentary, youre all so funny and it makes me so giddy when you tell me how the story made you feel 💕 Adore you all and hope you get to see bbh and kai this summer 😘

Being back in Seoul after everything that happened is different.

You’re different.

Yet, life doesn’t wait for you to adjust back into the routine you had before Jeju. You try your best to fall back into the life you had spent years perfectly curating, but find it frustratingly difficult to do so.

The hardest adjustment is Yerim’s new found absence. She’s become such a common fixture in your life, practically living with you, that not seeing her at all is a huge blow. You miss her laugh, her rants about her job and school, her bickering. She’s as much your little sister as she is Seulgi’s and it hurts not having access to her the way you once had. But you understand, so have been giving her the space she needs. That doesn’t stop you from constantly pestering Seulgi about her. Her response is always the same–Yerim needs more time. You have a feeling she’s keeping her distance because she doesn’t want to see Chanyeol, and you’ve told Suelgi to send the message that he is not in the picture, but whether she received the news or not, Yerim has yet to contact you in any way. 

Months pass by in a boring yet restless blur. The only day that really stands out is your birthday, but even with the little party Seulgi throws for you, and the facetime call you have with Sehun, it doesn’t hold any true significance. You distract yourself by keeping busy, throwing yourself into your work and Jongdae’s upcoming baby shower, which you volunteered to help decorate. Eunhee laughs every time you send her new ideas, claiming you’re more excited than she is. You chalk it up to this being your job so you take it very seriously, but the truth is that you are beyond excited for that day to come, because you’re eager to see a certain face again.

The truth is that, despite your attempt to keep him out of your thoughts and just focus on yourself and the life you have built, Chanyeol has never left your mind. You find yourself wanting to call him, wanting to update him on everything that he missed. He’s the first person you want to rant to whenever you’re having a rough day, yearning for his touch when you fall asleep. You want to hear his laugh and see that special soft smile that fills you with love whenever it graces your presence. You can’t seem to get over him this time, can’t shove his presence back into the depths of your heart that way you have been doing for so long. He tore that door down, making sure that he’ll never be forgotten no matter how desperately you try. It’s enough to have you coming to terms with what you want out of your relationship. 

You just hope when that day comes, that he feels the same way.

You gave in once.

Two months after the wedding, you get a memory from six years ago on your phone. You know it’s probably not the healthiest, but you refuse to get rid of any pictures or videos of the two of you. The memory is a video. You’re walking into a familiar dining room where Chanyeol sits alone, a paper birthday hat on his head. When he notices you, his face brightens, and he falls back in his chair in an invitation. You ask if he had a good birthday as you climb into his lap and he says it was perfect. You turn the camera so that it's now facing the both of you. Chanyeol kisses your temple, your cheekbone, then your cheek, and mumbles, ‘thank you, baby’. He then turns his head so that your cheeks are pressed together as you both look at the screen reflecting your image back at you, ‘I love you,’ you answered simply, as if that was enough. And it was. He holds you closer, nuzzling into you and the video ends. 

It reminds you that it’s Chanyeol’s birthday, but you can’t bring yourself to wish him a happy birthday. Firstly, you don’t have his phone number, and secondly, you’re no contact right now and aren’t technically supposed to speak to each other.

Still, not saying anything eats at you for a couple days and you hatch up a risky plan.

You know the odds are slim, but something in your spirit encourages you to try.

And that’s how you find yourself holding your breath as the other line of your phone rings.

“Oh?” You hear once the call is answered. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“Hello, Baekhyun,” you greet in return, rolling your eyes at his sarcasm. 

“Darling.” You can hear the smirk curling his lips and know that he’s teasing you.

“What are you up to?” You ask, trying to sound nonchalant.

“About to get lunch. I’d invite you, but it’s kind of a date.”

“Oh?” You ask, surprised he even answered if he’s entertaining someone.

Before you can question him, you hear exactly what you were hoping for.

“A date? I’ll humor you because I know how desperate you–”

Chanyeol.

He’s there with him, right on the other side of the line.

“Anyways!” Baekhyun interrupts, loudly drowning Chanyeol out. “What are you doing, Sweetie?”

“Darling? Sweetie?” Chanyeol questions. “Sounds like you’re speaking to your actual date. Maybe you should invite them out instead.”

“Nonsense. It’s your birthday lunch. But….” Baekhyun pauses for dramatic effect. “Maybe I should. It might make you jealous though.”

“Jealous of you annoying somebody else? Not very likely.”

“I’m not annoying, am I?” Baekhyun then drops the bomb by saying your name.

That seems to shut Chanyeol up.

“She says I’m not,” Baekhyun tells Chanyeol, despite you never answering his question. “What? Nothing to say now?”

Baekhyun chuckles smugly, but then he’s yelling at you.

“Yah!” He says your name again. “You haven’t asked me anything about my date! Aren’t you curious?”

“I shouldn’t intrude,” you finally speak.

“Please. Let me introduce you.”

“No, really, it’s okay!”

It’s too late. You hear the shuffling of the phone being moved around followed by silence.

Finally, Chanyeol clears his throat and says your name questioningly.

The relief you feel at hearing his voice is so intense it brings tears to your eyes.

“Hi, Chanyeol.”

He gasps at the sound of his name leaving your lips, and when he speaks, it sounds as though he has yet to catch his breath. “Hi.”

“Oh, brother,” Baekhyun says.

“Shut up.” There’s some scuffling, and then Baekhyun yelping in pain.

“Is everything okay over there?” You ask.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says. “How have you been?”

You’re giddy, like you’re talking to your school crush for the first time. Which, in a way, you are.

“I’ve been….” You contemplate telling the truth before settling on, “adjusting.”

“Same here.”

“Well, since I have you,” you say lightly, pretending this wasn’t the whole reason you called. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you,” he says vehemently. “I think this may be my favorite gift.”

You can’t fight back the smile threatening to split your lips. “It’s not much.”

“It means more than you know.”

“If that’s the case, then I’m glad. Enjoy your date.”

“My date?” It takes him a moment to realize what you’re alluding to. Once he remembers, he snorts. “oh, that. Between you and me, I don’t think there will be a second one.”

“Aaaaand you’re done,” Baekhyun says.

“No, wait!”

Despite Chanyeol’s height, Baekhyun has no trouble snatching the phone back.

“This is what I get for being nice,” he mutters into the receiver.

“Aw, Baekhyun, I’m sure he appreciates the effort you’re putting in to make sure he has a good time.”

“For that, I’ll let you have a little treat.” He lowers his voice conspiring. “He hasn’t shut up about you since coming back.”

“Bro!” You hear a mortified Chanyeol in the background.

“Looks like we’re at our destination. It was great talking to you.”

“Likewise.” In a grateful tone you add. “Thank you.”

All the humor leaves Baekhyun’s voice as he responds. “Anything for you. I’m glad you called.”

The call ends and life goes on.

December comes and goes, only bringing the cold in its wake. Next thing you know it’s January.

You bring in the new year with a resolution to be more open to new experiences and to take more chances.

“I see you!” You say, excitement evident in your voice.

“You sure?”

“Can’t miss that big ol’ head of yours.”

“Um, have you seen yours? Okay, wait, I see you now.”

You hang up and run over to Sehun, who’s pace doesn’t change as he saunters towards you. Despite how aloof he appears, he drops everything he’s holding to catch you once you jump into his arms, his hold tight.

“You’re here! You’re here!” You cheer, jumping once you’re back on your feet. Sehun can’t help but laugh at your silly antics.

Movement catches your attention and you peek behind Sehun’s broad frame to see a handsome man slightly taller than you with big round warm eyes and thick eyebrows currently furrowed in confusion as he watches Sehun interact with you.

“You must be Do Kyungsoo.”

He locks eyes with you and a slight nervous smile pulls at his full lips as he dips his head in greeting. Unsatisfied, you break away from Sehun and yank the stranger into a hug, missing the way he glances at Sehun in a silent plea for help.

“I told you,” Sehun sighs disapprovingly as you pull away.

“It’s an honor.” You ignore Sehun’s quip. “I hope Sehun already told you that your payment for staying with me is dinner of the gourmet kind.”

“I didn’t think he was serious about that,” he answers, laughing awkwardly as he readjusts the thick frames on the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t joke about food.” 

Kyungsoo lifts an eyebrow and blinks owlishly at you.

You decide you like him.

With a dazzling smile, you grab Sehun’s hand. “Let’s go!”

You lead the two men out of the airport, helping them put their luggage in the trunk before peeling out into the city.

“God, it’s been forever since I’ve been in Seoul,” Sehun says as he takes in the frosty scenery flying past.

“What about you, Kyungsoo?” You ask, searching out his gaze through the rearview mirror.

“I went to school here,” he informs.

“That’s how I met him, remember?” Sehun says.

“Oh yeah. I forgot. You were in the culinary program at our college.”

“Graduated early because he’s a genius,” Sehun praises. You don’t miss the way Kyungsoo’s face grows pink, but he remains silently looking out the window.

It’s weird in a way, meeting a close friend of Sehun’s that you yourself aren’t close to. It’s a grim reminder of your growing distance and the passage of time. You know you don’t really have a right to feel the slight tinge of jealousy from hearing Sehun compliment his friend. You have Seulgi, and Sehun has never made a big deal about your friendship. You think it has more to do with the fact that you’re not as close anymore. It leaves your heart slightly aching. 

Sehun and Kyungsoo tell you about the flight as you bring them to your apartment where they will be staying for the weekend. Seulgi and you had to get creative, because you don’t have any spare rooms. It was decided the boys would take the rooms and you would share the sofa bed in the living room.

Seulgi’s home when you arrive, doing some last minute cleaning.

“You look pretty,” you point out when you spot her finishing wiping down a counter in your kitchen. She gives you a guilty lip glossed grin before her attention is given to your guests.

“Sehun!” She embraces her long time friend and then sets her attention to the newcomer. She points at him. “The chef?”

“That’s me,” Kyungsoo says, lifting a hand with a crooked grin that makes his already handsome face even more attractive, if that’s even possible.

Seulgi’s smile is wide as she shakes his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Sehun’s said so much.”

“All good things I hope.” 

“Sehun never says anything good about anyone,” Seulgi  points out.

“It’s a talent,” Sehun brags.

“Seulgi….” Kyungsoo says her name as their hands separate, testing it out as he racks his brain. “I believe Sehun has said something good about you before. That you make phenomenal art?”

She lights up at that. “He has?! Sehun!”

He sighs and throws an arm around your shoulders. Shrugging, he says, “I’m not a complete monster.”

“Should I show you your room?” You ask him. You take in the other two, noticing the way they seem to be watching each other. “Seulgi, why don’t you show Kyungsoo where he’ll be sleeping for the next couple days?”

“Oh, right!” She jumps at the sound of her name. Remembering herself, she leads the way, mouthing an ‘oh my god’ as she passes by. You giggle. Seulgi has been interested in Sehun’s chef friend since the first time she saw a picture of him on Sehun’s instagram. Kyungsoo isn’t aware, but this moment has been years in the making.

Now alone, you turn in Sehun’s grasp, wrapping an arm around his slender waist. “I knew this was going to happen. What are you going to do when they fall in love and he doesn’t want to go back to Busan?”

“Put Seulgi in the luggage. You’ll be moving in with Chanyeol soon anyways.”

“It hasn’t even been an hour yet and you’re already bringing him up?” You pull away and move you guys to your bedroom.

“Come on,” he sings as he plops onto your mattress like he owns the place. He puts his arms behind his head as he rests against the headboard and it hits you that he’s actually here. It takes everything not to start crying and running around the room in excitement. “Tomorrow is D-day, excuse me for being excited for you.”

Jongdae’s baby shower is tomorrow, and of course, Sehun is fully aware of the promise you made with Chanyeol in the gazebo. That day feels like it was both years ago and yesterday.

Sehun nudges your knee with his foot. “Stop playing it cool. I know you're excited too. You got that crazy look in your eyes.”

“What crazy look?” You ask as you sit at the edge of the bed beside his calves.

“Exactly what I said. You look like you’re up to no good.”

You huff a breath. “I’m just nervous.”

“Why?”

“What if he decides he doesn’t want to get back together?”

“He won’t.”

“But what if he does?”

Sehun purses his lips, contemplating. “Then you respect his decision, put on a brave face, and then cry in my arms when the party’s over. Okay?”

You nod dejectedly.

“I take it you’ve decided you want a second chance?”

“Yeah,” you admit. “I forgive him. I….” You look at your best friend. “I love him, Sehun. I really do. I want to be with him.”

Sehun’s expression turns soft and he drags you over his frame, hugging you. “Aigoo, my baby is all grown up.”

You let out a watery laugh and allow yourself to bask in your emotions. You’ve used this time exactly how you were supposed to. You have been able to process your feelings and separate your past self from your present self, and the present you is just as in love with Chanyeol as you were back then.

That is what makes you so nervous. You’ve changed so much. What if you give it another shot, but you don’t fit the same way you once had? What if he can’t bring himself to love this new version of you?

You shove away your doubts. Now isn’t the time to wallow on hypotheticals. Your best friend is here, in your arms, and tomorrow you’re going to bask in another friend’s joy. You’ll worry about that other stuff if they become a reality.

Since you voluntarily took charge of planning this baby shower, you have to head out early to the venue to set up. Sehun decides to join you, leaving the other two to get ready together. The chemistry between them is obvious and you wonder how the weekend is going to go for them.

The baby shower is being held in a party room that has large doors that lead to a botanical garden. Being that it’s mid January, the vegetation is frozen over and unbroken snow covers the ground. It still holds a whimsical charm and anyone that dares to venture out will find beautiful ice sculptures. The inside is a small room, which is perfect for an intimate celebration.

You are the first to arrive, along with some of your crew. Not even the parents-to-be are present, which is exactly how you planned it because you want to surprise them. This is your baby gift. You want to bring the warmer vibes of the gardens, so you have pink, purple, and blue plants and flowers overflowing vases in every corner. Sage green clothes cover the tables. 

Sehun refuses to lift a finger to help, which is annoying but unsurprising. You bring in a large wicker chair and put it at the head of the room. It will serve as Eunhee’s throne. Since she’s so far along, you don’t want her moving too much if she can help it and the chair is very comfortable, if Sehun sitting in it practically the whole time without complaint is any indicator.

“Oh my god!” You hear nearly two hours later. Turning, you see Jongdae and Eunhee enter. The two take everything in, Eunhee with watery eyes. She’s the one who spoke. “It’s beautiful!”

“Absolutely perfect,” Jongdae agrees, shaking his head in awe as he scans the place. You give Eunhee a big hug. She’s someone who came into the picture post college, yet fit right in. There is no one else you’d rather have carry your friend’s child.

“I'm glad you like it,” you say as you lead her to her throne. She notices Sehun and beams, singing his name as he stands to embrace her.

“‘Like’ doesn’t do it justice. You killed it,” Jongdae praises as he hugs you. When you pull away, he finally spots Sehun. “And did you help, Sehun?”

“Of course,” Sehun scoffs. “This was all my idea.”

“The only ‘helping’ Sehun supplied was keeping Eunhee’s chair warm.” You roll your eyes as the boys dap each other up. “Which, by the way, you’re expected to be in most of the day. I don’t want you lifting a finger for nothing!”

“Not even to eat?” She asks, rubbing her swollen belly.

“Nope. That’s what Jongdae’s for.”

Jongdae–and Sehun, finally–help with the last finishing touches as you monitor everything and lead everyone where they need to go. 

It’s around two when people start showing up. Eunhee’s parents are the first to arrive. You’re already exhausted, sitting in a chair with your bare feet propped up on another, gobbling down some baby shower meatballs. Eunhee’s mother finds you and immediately asks what she can do to help, and you’re beyond thankful to give someone else the reins, even though everything is pretty much set up.

Jongdae’s cousin, Kim Minseok, is the next to arrive. He comes in carrying the cake that holds the baby’s gender inside, and is the sole person that already knows. You’ve met the older gentleman a few times before and he gives major big brother vibes. He’s the strong and silent type, never saying much, but when he does it’s either something incredibly profound, or something so extremely out of pocket you have to side eye Jongdae.

When Minseok comes in, he kisses your cheek in greeting and smiles so widely you’re left blushing and stuttering when he asks where you want him to put the cake. 

It’s a moment still until familiar guests start to show up. The party officially starting means you’re now allowed to enjoy it as merely a guest, even though that doesn’t stop you from checking things from time to time to make sure everything’s running smoothly. All the positive words about the venue don’t go amiss and you smile proudly at succeeding in making a beautiful shower for your friends.

Sehun, who left your side the moment Jongdae walked in, remembers you’re there and nudges you. “Let’s take some pictures before the line gets long.”

He leaves little room for you to argue, dragging you over to a balloon arch you both spent way too much time finding the right spot for. There’s a professional photographer there who gets some good shots of the two of you. When Sehun is satisfied with the amount of pictures taken, you leave the arch and your eyes carry over to the wicker chair Eunhee still sits upon. Her head is lifted nearly straight up to meet the eye of the tall man conversing with her. The height is very familiar and your heart skips a beat as you realize that Chanyeol has finally arrived.

Swiftly, you turn to the opposite side of the room, and you’re glad you do because you find Junmyeon and Nayeon awkwardly standing there.

“Myeon!” You gasp and race over to your friend. Sehun sucks his teeth, but follows after you, knowing what you’re doing but just as eager to see Junmyeon.

Junmyeon says your name in the same tone and holds his arms out wide for you to fall into. Unsurprisingly, this is the first time you’re seeing him since the wedding. He holds you tightly and you think that he gives Jongin a run for his money with how comforting he feels.

“What’s all this I hear about you having drama at my wedding?” He asks into your ear.

You wince as you pull back. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I was on my best behavior.”

“Ah.” he nods in understanding. “So, it was all Chanyeol then?”

“Isn’t it always?” You ask innocently.

Junmyeon chuckles and shakes his head. “I fear I missed out on a lot that weekend.”

“You had bigger things to worry about,” you assure, patting his shoulder because you can tell that he feels bad for not being there with everyone. Junmyeon is the father figure of the group and takes his role very seriously. Sometimes you forget he’s only a couple years older than you because he treats you more like a daughter than a friend at times. “Like marrying this lovely lady.”

You turn to Nayeon, reaching out to embrace her. Her smile is bright as she falls into your hug. You aren’t sure if it’s seeing her walk down the aisle or the solidification of her role in your life, but the hug feels like a new chapter in your relationship. 

“It’s good to see you,” she says, and it sounds sincere.

Separating, your smile matches hers. “You too. How was the honeymoon?”

Her smile turns shy. “Too short.”

“Oh, I bet! I didn’t get the chance to tell you, but you were absolutely stunning on your wedding day.”

“Thank you.” She grabs your hand, giving it a squeeze.

Junmyeon calls your name, gaining your attention. He takes in your interaction with unabashed pleasure. It has been no secret that you’ve had a hard time cracking his wife’s shell. “Sehun tells me you set this place up?”

“And did.”

“You should do mine next.”

You blink. “Will it be soon?”

Turning to Nayeon, you raise a questioning brow. She’s quick to shake her head. 

“No,” Junmyeon verbally answers. “But you know how the saying goes. First comes love, then comes marriage….”

“Then comes a very expensive baby shower, because I don’t work for free.”

“You told me this was a gift.” You glare at Seulgi, who joins your growing circle with Kyungsoo in tow.

“Yeah, but Jongdae isn’t a millionaire.”

Junmyeon frowns. “I’m not one either.”

“But, you will be. So, I will be overcharging.” You shrug.

“Everyone,” Sehun, who is bent at a weird angle so that he can rest his head on Junmyeon’s shoulder. Myeon has an arm thrown over Sehun’s neck, holding him close. Sehun is Junmyeon’s overgrown baby and it’s painfully obvious whenever they’re together. Sehun gestures next to him. “This is my good friend and business partner, Do Kyungsoo.”

It’s so strange how easily Kyungsoo seems to fit in with your group. He gives that half grin that you’re starting to find endearing and bows his head slightly in greeting. His cheeks grow pink at the attention Sehun throws onto him.

You lock eyes with Seulgi and ask her a telepathic question.

Her smile is soft. “I’m behaving.”

“Why?” You nudge her shoulder and she returns the gesture.

“So, this is where everyone’s hiding!” You hear Baekhyun’s unmistakable voice and then he’s popping up between Sehun and Kyungsoo.

You turn to give your attention to your loud friend, but end up locking eyes with someone else.

Chanyeol is standing directly across from you in the circle your friend’s have created. For a moment, you’re back in Jeju, at the table seeing him for the first time in years.

You have been anticipating this moment for weeks. You’ve pictured it numerous times, played out different scenarios on how you would respond to him. The skip of your heart, the small gasp that leaves you, the duling of your senses are all expected. What is surprising to you is a relief and longing so strong it nearly carries you across the space separating you both.

And he’s staring back at you with this content look in his eyes. None of the relief or longing currently rushing through your veins are reflected back at you, and your heart sinks as nerves take over.

Chanyeol appears…calm. Friendly. It’s as if Jeju never happened, as if he hadn’t desperately begged you to take him back. 

As if he moved on.

You drop your graze, ears burning in embarrassment for being so excited. You can already taste rejection on your tongue, and mentally curse yourself for believing for one moment that Chanyeol meant it when he said he would always want you.

You can’t resist taking a second peek to take in his form, seeing how he must have spent these last few months in the gym. His arms and shoulders are noticeably bigger, the cozy sweater he wears stretches over the new muscle tantalizingly. He must have dyed his hair black at some point and it washed out to a darker brown closer to his natural shade, instead of the sun bleached brown he was rocking in Jeju.

A shoulder bumps you and you lift your head to see Jongin with a teasing grin on his face. It drops the moment he sees your expression, and he says your name, concerned, drawing the attention of some others.

“I’m sorry. I have to do something,” you say, quickly leaving to collect yourself before anyone can question you. 

You don’t get far before Minseok stops you. He rests his hands on your shoulders, holding you far enough to intently study your face.

“Sir?” You say, wondering what he’s doing.

He tilts his head. “Only tears of joy today.”

You purse your lips. How does he know?

He pats your head. “Eunhee’s mom wants us to prepare the games. Come on.”

You sigh but follow Minseok to set up the games. A few of your friends partake in them. You forgot just how damn competitive Chanyeol is. He wins all four. One requires teams and you’ve never been more embarrassed by your friends in your life.

When the games are done, Eunhee starts opening gifts. You take this time to sit in a little corner alone, taking the party in and giving yourself a moment to congratulate yourself on a successful party. It’s beautiful and everything is moving smoothly. After the presents, the couple will cut the cake to reveal the gender, and then the party will wrap up. You wonder where your talk with Chanyeol will fit in. You don’t want to ruin this day for yourself, so maybe once it’s over will be best? The suspense is killing you though, you’re not really sure if you can last much longer. You’ve caught Chanyeol’s eye a few times since leaving the circle, and each time he’s given you a small smile or nod before going back to whatever he was doing. Nothing long enough to gain any more insight on his state of mind. Maybe he’s nervous? Maybe he’s healed? Maybe he’s dreading having to let you down easy?

Your brief moment of solitude is disturbed when Baekhyun slides into the seat beside you. 

“There you are,” he says, relief evident in his voice. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

You sink into your chair, crossing your arms over your chest. “I haven’t been hiding, Baekhyun.”

He frowns at your tone. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you answer too quickly, too sharply. You exhale and start again. “I’m just nervous, I guess.”

“About the party?” he pushes, and you know he knows why, he’s just being careful on how to bring it up. “Or… something else?”

You lift an eyebrow at him. “You know the answer to that.”

Baekhyun scoots closer to you. “You have no reason to be nervous. Chanyeol’s going to meet you where you stand, wherever that is.”

“Are you sure?” You ask. You catch the man of the hour hand Jongdae a present. The father-to-be narrows his eyes suspiciously at him. It’s a very cute interaction and it makes your heart flutter despite everything.

Baekhyun tilts his head in confusion, resembling a puppy. “Yeah? Do you not remember anything that happened in Jeju? it was never Chanyeol’s feelings that were ever in question. Just yours.”

A smug grin stretches his lips. “But you figured yours out, didn’t you? I remember when you just so happened to call me around Chanyeol’s birthday. Y’know that was quite the little coincidence.” His smile grows, showing his perfect teeth. “You wanted to talk to him.”

“Stop.”

He pokes your side. “Admit it! You want to get back with Chanyeol and you’re nervous because you believe there might be a chance he actually rejects you.”

“Ew. It sounds so…cringey when you say it out loud.”

“Is that you admitting that you’re still in love with him?”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, okay? I am! I…I still love Chanyeol, and I’m ready to give us another try. Happy?”

He pulls you into a tight hug, swaying you from side to side. “Beyond! I’ve been waiting for this moment for years! I’m so happy for you!”

“We’re not back together yet, Baekhyun.”

“Yet,” he points out, and that for some reason, calms your nerves, and you relax against him.

A deep voice clearing catches your attention, causing you to grow rigid in Baekhyun’s hold. Slowly, you separate from Baekhyun and lift your head to see Chanyeol hovering over you both.

He gives Baekhyun a stern look, and the shorter man snorts before lifting his hands in surrender.

Chanyeol faces you, but he can’t quite meet your eye as he asks, “have you seen the ice sculptures yet?”

This is the moment. Chanyeol is inviting you to have your talk. 

You shake your head. “I actually haven’t. Do… you want to see them?”

“Only if you want to.”

You nod enthusiastically and hear Baekhyun giggle but ignore it. “Okay. Yeah. Just, uh, let me get my coat.”

You don’t know if it’s guidance or reassurance you seek that has you turning to Baekhyun nervously. He supplies both by tilting his head in Chanyeol’s direction encouragingly. Stiffly, you get to your feet  and lead the way to the coat stand. Chanyeol takes your coat from you, holding it out to help you put your sleeves in.

“Thank you,” you whisper as he shrugs on his own.

He gives you a derpy grin. “My pleasure.”

All bundled up, you head out to the gardens. Only a few footprints stamp out the snow, showing how little people have dared to step outside. You don’t blame the others, it’s freezing. Your face goes numb almost instantly, but it’s still a sight to see. All the bushes have frozen over, and arches that appear as ice  line the trail. The setting sun and multicolored fairy lights scattered around add a sense of whimsy, making it feel like you’ve stepped into a parallel universe where fairies live.

“Boy or girl?” Chanyeol randomly asks as you both casually walk the path.

“Huh?”

“The baby,” he clarifies. “Do you think it’s going to be a boy or a girl?”

“A girl,” you decide. “Jongdae is such a girl dad.”

“You’re right. He totally is.”

“Good job back there,” you say, nudging your thumb over your shoulder where the party continues without you. “I’m sure all of Eunhee’s family are terrified of you.”

He chuckles at that and it’s music to your ears. “I do tend to get carried away.”

“I’ve never seen someone so serious about changing a diaper.”

“And I did it in ten seconds! That’s pretty impressive, you gotta admit.”

You give a noncommittal hum. “Fatherhood will be easy for you then.”

“You think?” He asks, eyes absolutely sparkling at the idea. 

“I do.”

“Oh, well… I think you’d make an amazing mother.”

“Really?” You ask, surprised. You’ve never really given motherhood much thought. It’s something so out of reach that you never entertain it. You did once, back when you wore your engagement ring. Chanyeol and you had discussed parenthood a few times. At the time, you’d both agreed you were way too young to think about starting a family, but now you’re in your late twenties, so you guess it’s something you should consider more.

“You’re a caretaker,” he continues. “Take today for example, I bet you were just supposed to decorate, right?”

“Yeah,” you admit quietly.

“Yet you ended up putting the whole thing together. You take care of the people you care about. You always have.”

“I never thought of it like that,” you admit.

He shrugs. “I’m just stating a fact.”

You come across your first sculpture. It’s an impressive six-foot ice dragon. You both stop to take it in.

“It’s impressive,” you remark.

Chanyeol nods. “I bet it took hours to sculpt.”

“Kinda sad it’s going to melt. Feels almost like a waste.”

“That’s the tragedy of art, but there’s beauty even in that.”

You’re quiet for a bit.

“I started going to a new cafe,” is what comes out of his mouth next. His attention never leaves the dragon, not even when your head snaps over to him in shock.

You know what he’s trying to say, that he no longer sees Yerim. His admission knocks the wind out of you, but you’re able to collect  yourself. “I’m sure the old one misses you.”

“Nah,” he’s quick to dismiss. “Though I hear I leave quite the impression.”

You click your tongue at that, which garners a small laugh from him, seeing humor in your reaction. Needing to change the subject, you give him a once over, taking in his reddening cheeks, the paleness of his skin contrasting beautifully with the darkness of his eyes. He’d thrown on a beanie to keep his ears warm, and despite them being covered, he still resembles a freakishly giant elf. Speaking of giant, his new mass overwhelms you. You can definitely notice the difference in his size compared to a few months ago.

“You’ve been working out,” you say.

He glances down at you, looking rather pleased. “You noticed?”

“How could I not? You’re towering over me.”

The tip of his tongue catches between his teeth. He likes that phrase, and you’re reminded that he has a size kink. You’re not that much shorter than him (this may be denial speaking) but being even an inch smaller is enough to get him going.

“It’s a newly acquired hobby I picked up after returning from Jeju,” he explains.

“I see….” And you do. It was something to fill the time, something to distract himself from the fact that you were once again not in his life, and wouldn’t be for a while.

The two of you leave the dragon and continue to the next sculpture. Chanyeol senses your understanding and presses, “so, have you gotten any ‘hobbies’ since I last saw you?”

You lift your arms out like a shrug and gesture around you. “This.”

He takes in the winter wonderland. “Then you spent it wisely.”

“It kept me busy for sure, but I’ll admit it wasn’t enough to distract me completely.”

Chanyeol nods in understanding. “It’s been difficult… going back to how things were before.”

A sharp laugh leaves your throat before you can stop it. His words feel like an understatement.

The next sculpture is an eight foot replica of the Eiffel Tower.

“I was foolish enough to believe that I could continue living the way I had been before the trip,” you admit, taking in all the little details of the ice. “But I outgrew that life the moment I landed on that stupid island.”

You can feel Chanyeol studying you, as if you are the one carved from ice. You wonder if he sees the tragedy of your design, that you’ve been melting, and if he still finds it as beautiful.

“Jeju changed us,” Chanyeol agrees. “How has it changed you?”

You meet his gaze, yours steady and unwavering. “It made me realize where I wanted you in my life.”

Chanyeol takes you in, gulps, and turns abruptly. You gape at his retreating back for a moment before jogging after him. His long legs close the distance to the next sculpture in record time. There are only two left and this one is of a beautiful woman, looking down at her plump belly that she cradles lovingly. You swear you can see Eunhee’s features etched into the clear face.

Chanyeol’s squinting up at the face, most likely noticing the same thing  and contemplating whether it is your friend or not.

“You ran,” you accuse once you’re standing beside him, out of breath.

His features smooth over, becoming expressionless. “You scared me.”

“That’s funny,.” He turns to you questioningly. “That’s how I felt when I saw you earlier.”

His eyebrows furrow. “Why?”

“You looked at me like….” You lick your drying lips. “Like you had moved on.”

“That’s what you saw?” he asks skeptically.

You give your attention back to the Eunhee sculpture. “Did I misread you?”

“Immensely,” he says, voice flat and intense. When you work up the courage to look at him again, you see a fire has built inside him that the cold tried to snuff out, but it burns through, warming you in turn.

“Oh,” is really all you can say under his scrutinizing glare.

“I’m sorry for scaring you earlier,” he says, still intense. “And for running. What were you going to say? Where do you want me now?”

“I….” You take a deep centering breath and tell him the truth. “I want you right where you are now. Beside me.”

A shocked laugh leaves him in a puff of condensation that bellows around you, stinging your cheeks. It feels like a caress, like contact, and it  makes you confident enough to proceed with your confession. “I've missed you so much, Chanyeol. Not just since coming back from jeju, but since calling off the wedding all those years ago. I’ve carried that suffering with me everyday, pretending I was fine, that I had moved on. But, after returning from the island, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t avoid it anymore. It was too heavy a weight. All I’ve wanted since is to see your face, to hear your voice, to…to be with you. Not the college boy that I fell in love with, but the man that you’ve become. I want to rediscover you, I want to learn your new habits and meet your new friends. I want to be a part of your life again…. I want to be with you, Park Chanyeol.”

You can feel your throat constricting, and tears start to blur the vision of the man you love taking in every word you say as if they are bible. You inhale sharply, it sounds more like a gasp, as you try to control your emotions. Clearing your throat, you voice your doubt. “That being said, if you’ve decided that you don’t feel the same way, and just want your closure to finally move on, I respect that. This isn’t only about what I want. You have a say in this relationship too. So… where do you want me?”

The wobble in your voice seems to echo off the ice surrounding you in the silence that follows as Chanyeol hesitates to answer. At least it feels like hesitation. Is he debating how to let you down gently? Or is he still trying to process your revelation?

Finally, after what feels like hours, he says, “there’s one more sculpture.”

You follow Chanyeol wordlessly, your heart plummeting from his lack of response. The last sculpture is ironic in a way, depending on how this conversation goes. It’s two swans, their heads pressed together and their necks curving into the shape of a heart. 

Chanyeol is grinning as he takes it in. “I think this one might be my favorite.”

“It does have a certain charm to it,” you say sullenly. 

Chanyeol’s smile stretches, but he doesn’t say anything. You both quietly take in the birds, you wait patiently for Chanyeol to answer your question. 

“The gym isn’t the only thing that has been keeping me busy these past months,” Chanyeol shares. “When I came back, I found new inspiration, and have been writing music nonstop.” He chuckles. “My company has been very happy about that.”

“That’s good to hear.” you say, and you mean it. You know how much music means to the man before you, he bleeds chords and rhythms. Being able to make money doing what he loves is an honor not many people get to have. You’re so very proud of him for being able to have others hear his talent.

“Yeah. I took your advice. I truly thought about what you mean to me. I wrote those feelings down in songs and worked through the pain, the confusion, the hurt, and the hope. When I showed my music to my company, they asked me what had changed, and I told them the truth.” He shifts to face you head on and reaches out to grab your hand. “That I found my muse.”

Your breath gets caught in your throat as he continues. “I guess it’s more like rediscovered my muse, because it’s the same one as always. All of my music is about you. Only you. You ask where I want you in my life? The answer is simple. I want you everywhere. You’ve always been everywhere. You’re the melody of my life.”

You blink back the new flood of tears bombarding your eyes, overwhelmed by his words. 

He is watching you tenderly, and you swear you see his eyes as shiny as yours. The hand not holding yours cups the side of your face and you shiver from the icy bite, but it thaws so quickly you end up leaning into it. “I want to be with you too. It will always be you, Mel.”

The tears finally fall, and Chanyeol is there to catch them, to catch you. You both let out airy laughs, relief and joy bubbling in your throats as the situation dawns on you. 

“We’re really going to do this?” You ask, in shock. “You and me? We’re going to try again?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol confirms, resolute. “And we’re going to get it right this time. I’m not letting you go again. I don’t care what excuse you try next time.”

You shake your head. “You won’t have to worry about a next time.”

You pull back slightly and take out your phone, handing it to him. “Can I have your number?”

He grabs the device from you. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

You scowl. “Absolutely not! You’ll have to do the asking, sorry.”

“I think I can manage that,” he says as he types away. He gives the phone back, fingers brushing yours when you retrieve it. 

You stare at one another, only one thing in both of your minds. What did Chanyeol say last time? Seal it with a kiss? Well, that’s what you want to do now, you want to kiss him so bad your body shakes in yearning. Chanyeol gathers as much, his head slowly lowering to grant your wish, and you wonder briefly if you’re making that face again. His nose brushes against yours and you tilt your head back to lift your lips higher for him to reach.

Cheering shatters the moment, bringing you both back to the frozen yard of your friends’ baby shower.

You gasp. “The cake!”

You both rush back inside, making it in just in time to see Jongdae and Eunhee at the table, frosting and tears on their faces as they celebrate. You see a piece has been cut out of the cake, revealing the color inside.

It’s pink. 

“You’ve been staring at your phone all day,” Sehun points out. 

You immediately drop the block of technology. Groaning, your head falls into your hands. It’s been nearly forty-eight hours since Jongdae’s baby shower ended, and you have yet to message Chanyeol. You’re overthinking, naturally. Even though Chanyeol made it obvious that he wanted to try again, there is that inkling of doubt that keeps you from initiating conversation. You regret asking for his number. You should have given him yours, put the pressure on him instead. He had the chance to text himself, but you were dismayed when you realized he hadn’t. He was again, putting the ball in your court, going at your speed. Now why would he do that when he knew you? You assume this is a test, and you’re failing miserably. 

“Stop torturing yourself and text him already.”

You shift some fingers enough to glare at your best friend that sits  across from you on your pale wooden table. He blinks at you, the poster child of unbothered.

Sighing, you straighten in your seat. “I’m spending time with you right now. Everything else can come later.”

“Uh-huh. Lucky for you, I’m used to you using me as an excuse.”

You gasp dramatically. “I’ve done no such thing!”

He grins and reaches over to hold your hand. Sehun and Kyungsoo are leaving in a couple hours. You’re waiting for the other pair. Seulgi’s helping Kyungsoo get his stuff together, but they disappeared a while ago.

“I told you it was going to work out,” Sehun murmurs.

You smile sweetly. “I’m not going to say you were right, just so you know.”

He pouts at that. “Either way, I know you believe it. Look, you’re back with Chanyeol. Isn’t that crazy?”

“So crazy.” You shake your head. “I feel like I’m dreaming.”

“Then don’t sabotage yourself again,” he says in that casual way he does. “Text him. Call him. Either way, talk to him. Let him know how much you want this. You have to if you want it to work this time. Communication and all that.”

You swallow thickly, fear coating your throat. “Right. Communication.”

Sehun stands and walks around the table to drag you to your feet. He pulls you into a hug, kissing the crown of your head. “You got this. Next time I see you, you’re going to be hand-in-hand with Chanyeol.”

You return his hug tightly, missing him already. 

“Now,” he starts. “let's check on those two. We have to leave soon.”

He drags you to Seulgi’s door, opening it without knocking and you deeply regret it when you notice the pair in various states of undress, hungrily making out.

“Oh!” You’re not sure who said it. Maybe you, maybe Seulgi. But the new couple scramble to make it look like they weren’t just eating each other’s faces.

Sehun guffaws and you cover your fallen jaw.

“Kyungsoo!” Sehun calls between chortles. “I didn’t know you had it in you, man!”

“Fuck off,” Kyungsoo bites, face the color of a tomato as he looks anywhere but where a human stands.

“We have to leave in ten,” you say slowly, fighting a smile as you watch Seulgi attempt to pack, back facing you.

“We’ll be out there,” Kyungsoo confirms.

“Will you?” Sehun goads. “Or are you just going to finish what you started the minute we walk away?”

“Ten minutes, got it!” Seulgi shoves you both out of her room, slamming the door in your face. 

Sehun and you lock eyes and then burst out laughing.

“I told you!” You said when you catch your breath.

“Now you really have to text Chanyeol,” he says. “You’ll need a new roommate soon.”

An hour later, you’re alone in your room, once again staring at your phone. At the contact that merely says ‘Park Chanyeol’.

You remember the last moment you had with him. When the baby shower was settling and people were starting to leave. All of you were huddled together and Jongdae and Eunhee made you all take some photos, claiming how this was the first time in years that everyone actually was present like this. 

You remember how you all huddled together, how Kyungsoo tried to slink away, but Sehun grabbed his collar, holding him hostage next to Jongin who started chatting his ear off as though he’s known him for years. Minseok was also there, having what appeared to be a very serious conversation with Baekhyun.

You felt a body press against your back, and glanced behind you  to see Chanyeol shyly looking down at you.

“Is this okay?” he asked, voice gentle, fragile.

You nodded, voice caught in your throat. The photographer set her camera up, and someone in the back of the group stumbled, causing a bunch of you to lurch forward. Chanyeol steadied you with a hand on your hip, and kept it there once you were stable again. You made no move to remove it, and your silent approval had him relaxing against you. You held your breath, heart racing as you posed for the photos. The happiness you felt in the moment you were sure was perfectly captured. 

Of course, the others noticed, but surprisingly didn’t mention anything. Only giving you both approving or knowing looks.

You swear you can still feel his body against yours, his large hand holding you close. He wants this, you remind yourself. He never stopped loving you, so stop being a little bitch and text him! Go get your man!!!

Encouraged, you don’t think and send a message. it’s a simple ‘hey, it’s me’, but you might as well have thrown your heart at him.

You stare at the bright screen. Watch as those cursed bubbles start bouncing as Chanyeol types a response to your message. Then go away. Then come back. Then disappear. Then–

Chanyeol: Took you long enough, Mel

series m.list | main m.list

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taglist @blue-rainydays, @julciaqwerty, @ohsehunsgurl, @byunparklimchoi, @kawaii--mommy, @notyuji, @hisungovenaocare, @theawesomehero7714, @emikowrites, @carefully325 @livebylivsstuff

[peachesvanilla]

Right where you left me

summary: it's been two years since you left Jongin at the altar. When he walked in you don't know what to do with your buried feelings coming alive.

pairing: Jongin x reader

genre: angst, childhood sweethearts to exes, bakery au, yearning

word count: 3k (not sure this is a drabble anymore)

a/n: i am finally done with this. I have written this twice, was not feeling the core emotions i wanted to feel while reading the first version. I know the request was childhood sweethearts, and I was going to write a short maybe little reminiscing themed drabble until I had that dream. I am not quite sure I articulated the feelings that well but I did give my best. Hope you like it!

Your fingers fly across the screen punching in the customer’s order. The next door neighbor, a 60 year old woman, pushes her spectacles up her nose, the glare visible behind her huge glasses. Your neck heats up in fear, she is gonna talk about it. You hope she doesn’t, it's been so long someone talked about that day that it made me believe it became history, one with the story behind the formation of this hometown. 

The hometown, now covered in the snow from the snowstorm, unable to walk properly until you are knee deep in the snow. The roads are empty, and the chances of people visiting the bakery is slim. This was the reason you accepted to look after the bakery, when mom asked. And also it's her first request in two years. 

“It’s 17 dollars.” You slid the to-go box to her. 

Her hands are slowly taking the notes out of her wallet, she counts through the dollar bills as you rearrange the pens in the pen holder making sure everything is aligned cap up. 

“You know I loved you, right?”

The pen holder slips through your hand falling on the ground with a loud clatter. Loved. Past tense. You give a feeble nod ducking down to gather the pens. 

“I have known you two since your childhood.” She continues, “he didn’t deserve it. Whatever or whoever was the reason behind your leaving, he didn’t deserve it.” 

You remain rooted in your place not wanting to face her or anyone. Hoping she goes away and leaves you alone. 

“And you have the audacity to come now.” The sudden influx of her anger made you wonder if she is thinking about that day, “the kid is finally happy. Smiling. The color in his face is slowly coming back.” She slams the counter, “why do you always ruin things?”

Your heart cracks further, the pain aching the entirety of my chest. You fist your t-shirt near your heart, sucking in air through your mouth. Why is it so hard to breathe? 

“Leave before he knows.” The chimes hanging on the door rings upon her exit, leaving me alone in the coldest afternoon. 

The suffering comes back, the long nights you spent curled upon the bed, the wet pillows, and the lonely hums of the city traffic infiltrating my room back in Seoul. No messages or calls from either your family or friends. Why would they even when you destroyed everything with your own hands? 

When you left everyone behind and made a run for your life. When your life is what you left behind. By the time you realized it, it was too late. And you didn’t have the guts to show up again. 

You pull out your phone, your hands shaking as you open the photos app. You click on the folder, the secret one you have locked up for so long. His face fills up the screen. His cozy smile, warm brown eyes, and the slight dimple on his cheek showing up as he kisses on your cheek posing for the camera. Jongin. 

Tears fall on the phone screen. You miss him. Miss him so much that it hurts. If only you could go back in time and rectify it, if only you could tell your younger self that it was going to be okay, it was okay to get married. It was okay to live under his love. And that if you walked away you wouldn’t find his love anywhere, no one comes near him. And no one is Jongin. And no one can love like him.

This is your fault. This is your doing. 

He moved on. He is happy now. You are happy that he is happy, yet it still stings. He hates you now, doesn’t he? Jongin. 

The chimes ring again, bringing you out of your reverie. Once you lock your phone, and wipe your tears, you stand up with a customer-friendly smile. 

“Welcome to–,” your words falter seeing him walk in, “—gom bakery..”

He freezes at the entrance, the cold air slipping through the open door causing a shiver run down your spine. 

He is tucked in warmly for winter, long coat dwarfing him, muffler around his neck, covering half of his face. His sharp brown eyes widen, staring back at you. The warmth you remember seeing during the long nights you spent in his arms is nowhere seen. The initial surprise fades away, mirth taking over his features. 

“It's cold, Jongin,” the girl on his left arm tugs him in by his coat sleeve. “Ugh, winters are the worst.”

Your heart squeezes in your chest. He did move on. He is happy with another girl. Tears brim up your eyes threatening to fall, and you really don’t want to cry in front of him. That chapter is over, fifteen years of love ended two years ago the minute you left him standing at the altar.

The girl tugs his coat again asking for his attention, he gives her by jerking his face towards her. She gently pats on his arm watching his crestfallen expression, “we can go back home.” 

You clasp your hands behind you, pricking on your thumb trying to numb the blinding pain in your chest with physical pain. 

He shakes his head, “I’m fine.” He holds her chin, pressing a kiss on her forehead, his muffler still covering his lips. 

You feel a trickle of liquid flowing through the ends of your thumb, grabbing a tissue and wrapping it around your bleeding thumb. You can’t do it, you can’t take it in. Are they married? Did he finally find the one who isn’t a scaredy cat and is courageous enough? 

Does he hate you with his life? Does he hate seeing you now? How can you live knowing the only man you loved, love, hates to even see you? 

“We will be quick.” She intertwines her hand with his, leading him to the counter. That should have been you. She gives a tight smile, she knows you, her eyes scanning the display. 

You fumble the red stained tissue in your hands, think of  something else, anything, the wind, the weather. The loneliness of your life roars back. God, it’s miserable. You feel like falling apart right here. 

“Excuse me,” his girl taps on the counter gently. 

“I’m sorry.” You are glad your tears aren’t falling down for once. “Are you ready to order?” 

She nods, pointing at two different cupcakes and a croissant. 

“Anything else?” 

“No.”

You nod, creating the bill, “it’s 18.”

She taps her phone on the reader. Your eyes snatch on the empty ring finger. Relief floods through your system. You sneak a glance at Jongin to find him staring back at you, studying. His eyes slowly roaming across your face reminding you of the time when you came back from a week long trip and he didn’t let you go an entire day from him. 

Your lips part as you try to breathe in, unable to look away. He tilts his head to the side, his eyes turning red. Look away. You scold yourself. 

You print the bill and rush to get their order. “To go?” 

“Yes please.” 

You neatly put the cupcakes in the to go box, wrapping it close. 

“We didn’t order the blueberry cupcake.” She informs you of the third cupcake in the box. 

You freeze in your place, watching the extra piece. Blueberry cupcake. His favourite. Fuck. You laugh nervously, “on house.” Your cheeks burn in embarrassment. What were you thinking? 

You take a quick glance at him just the way his girl does. His eyes are stuck somewhere else, his expression like a thunderstruck him. You follow his gaze, looking down your shirt. 

Fuck. Fuck.

You duck down immediately, dropping the pen holders on purpose. You tuck in the chain hanging low around your neck, the ring dancing on your shaky fingertips. The proposal ring. 

You grimace at your clumsiness. How can you let him see this? When you lied about falling in love with someone else. Your cover blew up. Fuck. 

Schooling your emotions, you stand up, now quickly getting the croissant so that he can leave. 

“I didn’t see you around,” the girl asks you, you can read the discomfort clearly on her face. 

Who would be happy to meet the ex of their boyfriend? 

“I’m visiting.” You reply curtly. “Here you go. Thank you for visiting.” 

She smiles, looking at him watching him stay rooted in his place. The muffler comes off his face, his plump pink lips pressed in a thin line as he glowers at you. 

Did he catch your lie? You beg he didn’t. You on purpose let him, or more like everyone in the town, know you moved on from him a year later. That you found someone. When you wanted him to move on, you didn’t deserve him. You couldn’t see him wasting his life away. 

“Bye.” You turn away, disappearing into the kitchen. Please Jongin, leave. 

After a few minutes you hear the chimes ringing. You heave a sigh, you weren’t sure you could look at him for one more second. Days spent telling yourself you have moved on, and Jongin is left far behind in your life. All the years you spent with him are a bittersweet memory, the one you wanna forget so it can ease the pain. But in the middle of the night you crawl to the discarded phone on the floor, opening his images, sobbing to the love that would have been the love of your life if only you weren’t ambitious. If only you didn’t want different things from life. 

You are glad your lie worked, he found someone else. Someone who could love him the way he deserves, even if that someone wasn’t you. It was fine, you could try to live with that. At least one of you is happy. 

—

No matter how much you pacified yourself you couldn’t forget them. Does he like her more than you? Does she know he likes to cuddle? Likes when you pat his head after a long day? And he can’t eat anything bitter? He hates seeing women cry? He hates keeping secrets, especially the ones kept from him even if it's a surprise? He hates having his bed empty when woke up. And his hands find yours in the middle of night tugging you in his arms. 

You tumble across the bed hoping these thoughts go away. The comparison, the analyzing of his kiss he gave her, and the ones you used to receive. You don’t think you can handle seeing him love someone more than he did you. You can’t live a life where you constantly diagnose every move of his, receive hate from the entire town, and hate yourself for something you did thinking you were protecting yourself.

You have to leave first thing in the morning. One more look at him, you will run into his arms begging for him to forgive you and take you back. And that no goals or aspirations are greater than him. You are willing to go wherever he goes. You are ready to kill a part of yourself for him. 

The tears dried up on your cheeks, you stared at the frozen window listening to the snowfall. You lift your head in alert hearing a creak, the darkness engulfs your room completely, and you have no energy left to find where your phone is. Resting your head on the pillow, your fluttering close as sleep consumes you. 

The door opens with a creak, you jolt up in the bed ready to scream. A hand cups your mouth preventing you from calling for help. And then you realize who it is. First the scent of his musk perfume dwarfs you in memories of you gifting it one day and he never looked back. His signature scent. Second the roughness of his palms, and third the sneaking in. He always snuck in every night, asking for cuddles and he promised he would leave before your parents woke up. 

Jongin.

You grab his hand from your lips assuring him that you aren’t gonna scream. The bed creaks from his weight, he settles before you, a breadth away from your face. His hands fall into his lap, his knee nudging yours over the comforter. His scent drowns all of your questions momentarily, the need to nuzzle in his chest becomes unbearable. 

“Why?” His voice is a whisper, one with the sounds of snow, you lean closer to listen. “Why, now? Two years. I waited for two years.” His angry hold on your chin jerks you up. “I was happy. With her.” His fingertips press into your cheeks, a jab of pain coursing through your body. “And then you came in.” 

His hands trail to your neck searching for your chain, he tugs on it holding on to the ring once it is out of your shirt. “And I see this. Someone who moved on won’t be wearing the ring her ex proposed with.” 

A flash of light from the window illuminates your room. His eyes are red, tears brimming. He is closer than you could feel, his lips hovering over yours. Pain, and hurt in his words crumbles your insides. You destroyed a man who gave you nothing but love. 

“Jongin…” You hold on to his cheek. He flinches away from your touch. You drop your hands to your lap, curling them. “I’m sorry.. I didn’t expect you to come to the bakery. I am really sorry.”

He lets out a laugh. “Sorry.” He lets go of your chain. “Do you think sorry can fix me?”

You reach out for his hands in his lap. “Jongin.. Please,” your voice trembles from suppressing a cry. 

“A sorry for leaving me on the altar–” you feel wet drops falling on your hands “��leaving me? After fifteen years of love? Sorry can fix my endless nights of tossing around wondering what did I do to deserve this from you? You, who knows me in and out, the one who sailed through ebbs and flow, and still you left me.” 

“I–” 

“I was lonely!” He spats, pushing you away. “I was lonely, I was going crazy. I couldn’t get out of bed, I couldn’t even brush. And you were in a city, posting pictures of how beautiful your life was there. I was dying here. Anywhere I go all I see is you.” 

“I’m sorry.” A sob escapes your lips. “I am really sorry, Jongin.”

“And I got to know you found someone else.” His voice is shaky, “I couldn’t believe it. You, my baby, in love with someone that is not me? I can’t believe it. I waited, and waited, hoping and dreaming you would realize that it was me all you needed. And you never came. Did you forget me?”

You are conflicted. Should you confess or let him believe that you moved on. He has a girl, he moved on and no one has to know that all of your acts are a lie, and you were miserable in the new city, and you were slowly dying. But you couldn’t go back to him, not when he couldn’t even grasp your feelings then. 

“It took me time,” you lie, “but I started liking other things.” 

“Liar.” He grabs your chain, pulling you in. “Tell me more lies.” He nuzzles his nose into your cheek, his lips brushing over yours. “Tell me.”

Your brain short circuits at the proximity. It’s been so long, the feeling of him is driving you crazy. Your eyes flutter shut, “I don’t love–” 

He crashes his lips on yours, drowning your lies. He nips and bites your lower lip. “And?” He whispers in between. 

“I’m serious,” you pant, “I have a boyfriend back home.”

“What did you say to him when he asked about this ring?” He rests his forehead on yours. “What lie did you create now?” His hand slips under your tee, holding on to your waist. 

You stare at his lips, listening to his heavy breaths. The kisses and his touches cracked your brain wiring, the need inside you absolutely feral. You want him. You need him. His question is not registering in your mind as your hands slip around his waist in a habit. He sucks in a breath, moving back sitting on the bed comfortably allowing you to sit on his lap. 

You settle on his lap, peppering kisses on his neck, gripping his hair. You missed him. Missed the feel of his arms around you. You inhale his scent, happy pheromones releasing inside you. Home. You are finally home. 

His hand spreads in your hair, tugging at your strands pulling you away from his neck. “Answer me.” He tugs it hard, “what did your boyfriend say when you had my ring on you while he fucked?” 

“I—” It stings when he pulls your hair harder. 

“Did he touch you?”

He pulls you closer, your fingers brush his tear stained cheeks. Your heart aches knowing you were the reason for his pain over the years. 

“Why does it matter to you?” Your voice is a whisper, “this is wrong, Jongin.” You touch is his lips one last time, some sense coming back to you. “You have a girlfriend. She seems sweet.” 

You press your knees on bed, attempting to slide off of him. He tugs you back, shaking his head. 

“Jongin..” tears fall down incessantly on your cheeks. “Please. Stop making it hard.” 

“I broke up with her.” He confesses, his lips at your neck. “I don’t have anyone. I can’t have anyone else.” He grips your back in a tight hold, “you don’t know how much I hate you. I wanted to kill you when I saw you and also,” he hesitates, “I wanted to hold you, feel you.” 

He cups your cheek, “you are rooted in my life, my soul. No one is you. No one can love me like you do. I want you back, even when you left me alone. I was an ass. I shouldn’t have rushed you. It was my mistake too. Please come back to me.” 

[jongbross]

j, who do you think in exo has a praise kink and who likes to give praises to their partners during sex? like the thought of kyungsoo calling me a good girl makes me sdfghjhgfds hahaha

giving praise:

junmyeon - lives for calling you good girl/boy and to praise the way you're squeezing him so right.

baekhyun - likes to talk during sex, so he's either dirty talking or praising you.

jongdae - another one who loves to talk during sex, might as well praise you then (and he has the best praising game i'm afraid).

kyungsoo - not much of a talker, but when he doms he likes to give you feedback on how you're doing; will definitely call you a brat if he has to, though.

receiving praise:

minseok - you don't have to do it all the time, but he enjoys sometimes.

yixing - cums faster whenever you tell him how great he's doing.

jongin - oh my lord for the love of god tell him he's a good boy!! tell him how great he's making you feel!!!!

sehun - bingo. he's the one who has praise kink up there in his top 3, it makes him go deeper and harder.

50/50:

chanyeol - the answer is yes.

[haechanhues]

A Different Fourth-Inning

pairing : boy-dad!chanyeol x mum!reader

genre : slice of life. nothing really about the relationship except that you have kids together and in a happy relationship.

warnings : none.

word count : 0.227 words

summary : chanyeol, proud boy dad faces his most difficult task of fatherhood yet.

Chanyeol with his big hands, scarred by hardwork and the weight of his three sons that wish for him to be a little rougher than you. A little more of a racket, holds this bundle so gently. 

The tears well in his eyes as he takes a look at his baby girl. 

A girl. 

Oh rejoice. A boy dad gets a taste of his baby girl and instantly melts in a puddle he thought was impossible. 

The boys had their time with their sister, boisterous creatures turning into boys that are gentle and protective. Who are caring and loving. Who love their mother with freshly dried hair and wet older brother kisses. 

Chanyeol, the confident giant, timid for the first time when he first appears in the doorway. Only spurred on by your reassuring smile, and the tears welled in his eyes as he rightfully held his girl in his arms for the first time. 

“Hey baby,” A trained softness to him, a little jerky but no doubt will be smoothed by time, “It’s your Appa.” 

And when his girl smiles at him, with eyes that look like you when he first fell in love with you. With skin so soft. He can’t help but cry and cry. Silent promises of protection, of love and of care. 

Chanyeol, proud boy dad of three, becomes proud girl dad too. 

[dilxcc]

ordinary days ᡣ𐭩 doh kyungsoo

domestic fluff, living the best life with kyungsoo, hes so in love with you tbh, grammatical error

kyungsoo x reader!

a/n this was totally not inspired by his song. also, testing if it was just a new account thing or my fic really sucks and people dont read it 💀 this was also posted at @jonginbear

the soft humming of kyungsoo as he danced around in the kitchen, cooking to his heart's content. he was alone in your apartment while you were out at work. despite your absence, he still showed up at your apartment, wanting to try out a new recipe he had come up with last night.

it explained why his eyes has a light dark circle.

the clanking sounds that came from the kitchen utensils filled the quietness. it calmed his excited heart from bursting. not a while later, he finished up his cooking and started to wash the dishes.

it was always like this with kyungsoo. your house was always tidied up whenever he's around. he couldn't stand seeing how disoriented you are.

the soft click from the door perked his ears up. it was just in time that he had finished setting up the table. your nose immediately picked up the delicious smell coming from the kitchen. "hey," kyungsoo smiled, his wet hands were wiped clean on the apron that he has yet to take off. his cute dimples showing from smiling too hard.

"hey," you returned his smile. he walked up to you and kissed your cheeks. "what did you cook?" you asked softly, taking off your coat and threw it on the couch. "a new pasta recipe," he said proudly. "i made it more spicy for you," he said, pulling out the chair for you. you gratefully took a sit all the while watching him take off his apron.

kyungsoo sat across the table, ready to eat his newly made recipe.

after dinner, both of you sat on the couch, huddled up close to each other and feeling content. you lay your head on his chest, wanting to listen to his calm heartbeat. his arm were wrapped securely around your waist and he nuzzled his nose in your hair.

likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated <3

© dilxcc

[aqupistau]

— ☕️ⸯⸯ : the way back home﹙bbh﹚

warning: mentions of alcohol (but it's just wholesome fluff)

genre & trope: fluff and established relationship

pairing: byun baekhyun x gn!reader

word count: 0.97k (edited)

synopsis. "if i were a sleepy sea otter and you were also a sleepy sea otter, would you hold my hand so that we won't float away from each other?"

Baekhyun wasn't the greatest soldier alive when it came to alcohol tolerance; he himself had great self-awareness of it. This resulted in him never drinking furthermore in your presence once he knew he was tipsy. At first, you didn't mind this at all, although, after receiving the first-ever emergency call from one of his friends, this changed your mind.

The call consisted of the first few seconds of a proper conversation with the said friend, and then a minute later to Baekhyun stealing the phone, who was then drunkenly flirting with you. Clearly losing the battle between alcohol and his sobriety.

Baekhyun's friend that called you, who seemingly was the only person sober, got his phone back and pleaded you to get him ASAP before he lost his marbles dealing with a bunch of lousy drinkers.

You obliged, mindlessly arriving at the destination a lot quicker than you thought, almost snickering at the thought of a crimson-cheeked boyfriend just smiling like a fool at you. Junmyeon, the caller, his face of weariness turned into a relieved one as he greeted you at the front door, booming noises of drunken men singing karaoke inside and the strong smell of assorted liquor exuding from him.

"Hi, Y/N! Here to pick up Baekhyun, right?" he questioned, which honestly sounded more like it had only one valid answer.

"Yes, though it looks like I'll be spoiling his fun if I pick him up while all of you are having so much fun." You politely replied just for formality.

Junmyeon chuckled and firmly added, dead in the eyes, begging, "I promise you that you aren't. Please come inside, Y/N. Please?"

"Y/N? Is that Y/N? Y/N!" A familiar bright, boyish voice slurred in excitement from the inside. You looked at Junmyeon for assurance, and he nodded, encouraging you to enter the living room. You gulped in nervousness, thinking of how to deal with the new kind of Baekhyun you'd never met before. It was like helplessly walking on a field of tall grass full of wild Pokemons.

Before leaving your shared home with Baekhyun, you've researched the effects of alcohol, and one struck you: repressed emotions and thoughts will be set free in a drunken state. You weren't sure if that was true since no reliable sources proved this fact, but you still wondered, almost in a way of contemplation. Doubtful if you can even deal with a wasted Baekhyun.

"It's me, Baek—Oh my god."

There he was. And you were right about one thing: his cheeks would go red when he was drunk but based from the research about repressed feelings when in a drunken state, you can tell that this Baekhyun will be a handful.

"Y/N~" The last syllable of your name dragged on as he attempted to wiggle up from his seat. "I missed you so much, Y/N." You quickly ran up to support him from standing, relieved that you caught him on time.

"But we were together like… four hours ago, baby." He nodded in reply.

"Exactly." Oh, well.

After bidding goodbye to the rest of his friends, who were thrilled to see you, you got help from Junmyeon to put Baekhyun on the passenger seat, bidding him farewell and good luck as you set off to go back home.

Surprisingly, the first couple of minutes of the drive were quiet, and your boyfriend was just sleeping peacefully, thankfully, not causing a ruckus silently. You didn't try to pry him from his peace and just continued driving, waiting for him to mumble anything you could tease him about once he woke up. You admired this very moment of comfortable silence, wondering of the antics that would happen by the next morning and planning to prepare ahead a good hangover soup to lighten the weight of your lover.

"Baby?" He's awoken.

"Yes?"

"Can I hold your hand? It's quite cold," he requested groggily.

"I can't, baby. I'm driving us back home."

"Oh...then, can I borrow your jacket?" Baekhyun tested again, opting for a different consolation.

"Yes, of course. It's on the backseat, Baek."

He struggles to look for it in the back seat, carefully but clumsily putting his arms inside the armholes of the jacket when he does.

A few minutes pass, and he complains again, "...I still wanna hold your hand, Y/N."

"Let's hold hands when we're under a stop light, okay?" You turned the car to the highway, and coincidentally, the red light from the traffic light stopped you. In reaction, Baekhyun reached out for your hand and interlocked his cold fingers with yours.

"Y/N?" he called out again.

"Yes?"

"Your hand is very warm. I love holding your hand."

You beamed with a snicker, looking down at your entwined hands. His hands that easily get cold and would always seek refuge for yours that were always cozy and warm. These hands that would always cup your cheeks and kiss you plushly in the wake of the morning. You noticed the difference of temperature of his and your hand, and you grasp slightly harder, attempting to warm his faster.

"I love holding your hand too, Baek."

The traffic lights turned green, and you gently removed your tightly held hand from him, leaving his hand to reach out to yours with dismay.

"Y/N?" Baekhyun asks for you again from just a few miles.

"Mhm?" You hummed softly, never troubled by his constant wants to hear your voice and attention even if he asks for the vainest demands.

"I need you to answer a question."

"Sure."

"If I was a sleepy sea otter," he yawned, the sign of the need to sleep displaying, "And you were also a sleepy sea otter…."

"Will you hold my hand so we'll not drift away from each other when we're sleeping?"

"Baek?" It was your turn to ask, "You do know that we always snuggle when we sleep, right?"

"...Oh. Then, can I hold you all night when we're finally home?" There were remotely a small number of cars driving, so you turned the car, almost near your home and took the opportunity, interlocking the hand that rested on his thigh with yours, holding it near your lips, and kissed lovingly the back of his hand.

"When it involves loving you, then it's always a yes."

© aqupistau. all rights reserved. ↬ masterlist

[huihuiheart]

Seduction - EXO - Sehun Drabble

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EXO Masterlist

Pairing: Sehun x FemReader

Warnings: Cursing, dom Sehun, lingerie, use of fucking machine, bondage, implied oral (male rec)

Word Count: 551

“Why not tonight?” You pout at your boyfriend from where you’re settled on your knees on the bed, “I’m even wearing something pretty.”

Your words get your boyfriend to fully take you in, Sehun is quick to look away sucking in a breath after seeing you in a blush teddy, little frills dancing around your hips. He feels his cock twitching in interest despite his earlier words.

“Babe I’m serious… we have to be up too early to be playing games like this.” His pointed glare doesn’t make you back down though, squirming as you only pout further gaze flicking between him and the machine he recently purchased for you both. “No. You know that we always get carried away especially when trying something new.” 

“Does it look like I fucking care?” You huff, arms crossing. You knew he was right and that if you went down this path you’d both be walking zombies the next morning, but you didn’t care in the slightest not with how tempting the thought of being fucked by that machine under his control was.

Sehun’s eye twitches at both your tone of voice and use of expletives before snapping and then pointing at the ground in front of him. That was all it took for you to scramble into the spot he pointed at nearly skinning your knees with how fast you slid into position. Practically vibrating as his hand grips your jaw, squishing your cheeks, his anger only exciting you even more. 

“I’m disappointed in you baby. You know better.” He tsks, and shakes his head, “So, so much better. Guess I’ll just have to snap you out of it.” 

When he walks away you want to watch after him, but you know better than to do so. After all, you only wanted to get him worked up enough to get what you wanted, not to have everything taken away. When Sehun returns you feel him instead of seeing him. The man kneels behind you and pulls your arms together before you feel rope securing them like that. Sehun then helped you shift so that he could tie your legs bent as he often did when he didn’t want you able to run anywhere.

“It’s not too tight is it?” He softens up a little as he always does when he first ties you up, wanting to confirm he hadn’t done anything wrong. When you confirm it’s fine though he goes back to how he had been only seconds before. Moving you face down, cheek pressed against the rug as he doesn’t even bother to get you somewhere comfortable. Moving to pull the machine behind you making your heart shutter in anticipation he gets everything ready only to be a menace not only with the slow pace he sets but also you realize in how he positioned you, setting you up to barely get any of the fake cock on the machine. Your whining makes him smirk, watching how you try and fail to push yourself back for a few minutes before settling in front of you. Sehun helps you lean up as he undoes his pants, pulling his cock out and tapping your lips painting them with his leaking precum.

“Be good to me and I’ll untie you so you can fuck yourself.”

[multidoluv]

→ ChanYeol x Fem!Reader

❥ Synopsis: ChanYeol faces a difficult situation when his girlfriend has to pretend to be married to JongDae for an episode of We Got Married.

❥ Word count: 0.5k

❥ Warnings: Jealousy.

❥ Request: Yes.

sᴘᴀɴɪsʜ ᴠᴇʀsɪᴏɴ ‧ masterlist

With every broadcast, ChanYeol couldn’t help but feel a wave of jealousy wash over him at some point, even though he knew it was all part of the show. A pang of envy struck him as he watched JongDae share those moments with the person he loved, unconcerned about the rumors that might arise due to the show’s concept.

Those negative emotions started to worry him, especially when all of EXO was invited to a special episode. The "newlyweds’" house was opened, and together, they took a brief tour of the place.

"We cooked for you," the woman announced as she searched for the dishes in the kitchen.

"Really? Did Chen participate?" BaekHyun asked, feigning surprise.

"Is it edible?" SeHun joked, provoking a mix of complaints and whining from the man in question.

"It is!" he assured, bringing the main dish to the table.

She laughed and intervened, assuring them that nothing tasted bad and that she had overseen the entire preparation. JongDae puffed out his chest, proud, and scolded them, while ChanYeol played deaf and blind to avoid the annoying ticklish feeling in his stomach.

For fifteen minutes, the event went smoothly, but halfway through lunch, the guys started asking and teasing about their relationship, which only worsened his feelings. The man tried to stay calm and engage naturally, but he couldn't help but let slip a comment filled with disdain.

"Is it fun playing with my girlfriend?"

More than one person choked on their drink, staring at him in confusion and surprise. The program's staff fell into a deathly silence as the woman paled, her lips slightly parted.

"What?" JongDae inquired, thinking he had misheard.

"I asked if it's fun playing with my girlfriend."

"Are you serious?" JongIn intervened, leaning over the table.

"Didn't you know? We've been together for months," he explained without shame, his anger still too strong for him to try and correct himself or salvage the moment.

Several eyes frantically scanned the room, looking for something to do. The woman, visibly overwhelmed, placed a hand on her forehead, trying to calm herself before turning to the producer.

"Are you going to air this?" she asked, inadvertently confirming the statement.

"We can edit it…"

"No, leave it as it is. It's time for it to be known," ChanYeol said, dismissing the option with a gesture.

"Are you crazy? Do you think this is the right time?" she growled, crossing her legs and arms.

Noticing the tone of his partner, the man seemed to become aware and started to reflect.

"Well, since we're all gathered..." he replied uncertainly, not wanting to make the irreparable worse.

A brief silence settled in the room until one of the eldest decided to take control of the situation.

"Your marriage is a sham," BaekHyun declared.

"What? What are you saying?" JongDae responded, choosing to play along with that familiar whine of his.

As the guys tried to lighten the mood, the real couple exchanged silent glances, tense and nervous. She raised an eyebrow, while ChanYeol flashed a wide, apologetic smile. He knew that, thanks to his jealousy, this would be the most popular episode.

[jonglo]

Hello:) can i request one where the reader finds out she’s pregnant before Sehun’s enlistment? And she’s scared but his reaction is really cute and happy ♥️

an: once again work has been killing me sorry for the late response.

Best Time

I hope Sehun will be seen off well for his enlistment. I can't wait for him to come back. We will miss him <3

warnings: none

genre: fluff and angst

The first snow of December fell past your windows as the world around you froze while your eyes stared at the positive pregnancy test in your hands. What you have been praying wasn't true was unfolding right before your eyes. There couldn't have a worser time for this to happen to you.

A couple weeks before, you had begun feeling a bit unwell. Starting with a couple of headaches and fatigue. This of course progressed to feelings of nausea. With the winter coming, you passed this off as the flu. That was until you had missed your cycle. Well it just so happened that after putting off the test for weeks, you finally decided to take it the day Sehun found it appropriate to announce his enlistment. You felt the anxiety rush through your body as you stared at the two bright red lines. The silence engulfed you as your hands began to shake with fear. Doubt immediately started to take over your mind as the thought that Sehun would be upset and not present for the child came over you. After what felt like an eternity, you were finally able to snap out of your trance and decided to hide the test in the back of the medicine cabinet. Allowing one big event at a time.

A couple days go by and Sehun becomes increasingly concerned with your behavior. The constant stress whenever he starts a sentence with "Babe, Can I ask you a question?" showing through your demeanor. The constant pressure of having to mask your symptoms just to ease the burden of his enlistment. In truth, you were not only scared of this situation interrupting Sehun's wish for an easy dismissal but how this would impact the child. You wanted to tell him the news but no moment felt right. You constantly felt like a burden to his plan.

You managed to keep this secret for 3 days before Sehun came to confront you about this new behavior.

"Hey, is everything alright? You just seem very antsy recently.. Is it about the whole military thing?" He asked as he sat next to you on the sofa, genuine sincerity veiling his face.

"Oh yeah, it's just a big change from what I am used to." you spat out to quickly change topic.

"You know, I'm not going to be gone that long, my position is special. The whole social service thing is different." He responds before placing a soft hand on your back. This action causing for a strong emotion to arise.

"Im sorry.." you mumbled looking down in your lap, tears beginning to swell in your eyes. This left Sehun staring at you with a tilted head.

"For what? Already missing this handsome face? That's a given.." He rolls his eyes as a playful smile appears on his face.

"No.. keeping this secret from you." You mutter while wiping the tears from your eyes and chuckling softly at his joke. He watched as you stood up and headed to the bathroom to get the test. When you returned, you slowly placed the positive test in his hand and sat back anxiously and studied his face.

"Oh my god.." He mumbled as he stared at the test, causing for you to feel sick to your stomach in fear. You quickly jumped to explain yourself.

"Im sorry for keeping this from you. I know its a terrible time to bring this up and I know it ruins the whole enlistment process but I hope you aren't mad about this.. I wanted to tell you but there was no right time for this. I just couldn't bring myself to-" You rambled until you heard Sehun's voice interrupt you.

"Oh my god!" His eyes jolted to meet with your own. "I'm going to be a father!" His eyes jumped between yours and your stomach as his excitement rushed out.

"So you aren't mad about the timing...?" You muttered, taking time to adapt to his reaction.

"Mad? This is the best timing possible! I'm on the base for like a week then home for 2 years with no active promotions. I'm free to bother you and the baby every day!" He says, grabbing your wrists and shaking them with utter joy. "Like I don't think you understand... I'm going to be a father!" He shouts before flashing you a bright smile. You chuckle in response as you watch him express every ounce of joy in his body.

"Oh my god... I have to call and tell Jongdae that i'm a better father than him!" He yells before placing a lot of wet kisses on your face, making sure to place some on your stomach as well.

He jumps up and skips to the bedroom just to share his announcement as a way to prove his greatness. You felt like 20 lbs had been lifted off of your chest as his reaction proved to be the opposite of what you expected. This time as you sat with the pregnancy test, you were filled with delight instead of pure frustration and panic. These next two years were going to be filled with bliss as long as Sehun was by your side.

From the sofa you heard the sounds of Sehun boasting about his fathering excellence, which only made you so much more confident and excited for the future of this small family.

[an-annyeoing-writer]

tw: mentions of violence

The wolf's fur feels rather harsh under your fingers, stained with dry blood and dirt; wolf!Chanyeol's breathing is slow, but steady. His body is heavy on your lap and your legs are starting to tingle, but you can't be bothered. Your hands tremble slightly when you brush down the nape of his neck.

He senses your nervousness and lifts his head, dark brown eyes meeting yours. There is an unspoken question in them and your breath comes out shaky.

“I-it’s okay. I just… need time to let that sink in.”

He seems to believe your explanation, and he lays his head back down, letting his eyes slip closed.

It’s a wonder to you that he can sleep peacefully after you’ve seen him tear flesh and bodies apart. Maybe you’ll eventually grow used to it; maybe your love for him is much stronger than compassion for those people.

Or maybe you’re just too scared to leave.

[baekhyunsbestie]

i luv your girl

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 18+/MDNI | pervy!baekhyun x f!reader, bf!jongin x gf!reader ꒱ ˎˊ˗

⤷ 1.4k+ words of baekhyun being a sick freak. another req by my freaky lil brain. baekhyun + jongin are roommates/bff’s. you’re jongin’s beloved gf and baekhyun’s obsessed with you to say the least. explicit language. unreliable narration. dark themes. obsession. possessiveness. jealousy. entitlement. yandere. smut. m*sturbation. voyeurism. somnophilia. infidelity. p in v. squirting.

byun baekhyun is an absolute fucking disgrace of a friend.

he should have turned away the second he saw you, should have strangled the hunger in its crib before it ever had the chance to sink its teeth into him. but you smiled—at him—like he was something more than the filth rotting inside his soul, like he wasn’t a rabid, depraved thing barely shackled to reason. and that was it. that was the moment everything went to hell.

because even when you started dating kim jongin, even when you stood by his best friend's side, even when you looked at someone else like they hung the fucking stars—his obsession didn’t die. no. it mutated. twisted into something uglier, something rotten and all-consuming, something that left his hands trembling and his lungs struggling to drag in air. he tried to smother it, bury it beneath layers of forced indifference, but it only dug itself in deeper, black and festering, eating him alive from the inside out.

he needs you.

and no matter how much you run, no matter how much you pretend he isn’t watching, waiting, burning—he will have you.

now he sits on the cold floor, back pressed against the thin wall that does nothing to keep out the filthy, sinful sounds slipping past your lips. you’re on the other side, riding jongin into the mattress, hips rolling like you were made for this, voice cracking as pleasure drips from you, and baekhyun is unraveling, losing his fucking mind.

his fingers are wrapped around his cock, pumping with a desperation so feral it’s almost painful. his pace is erratic, brutal, like he’s trying to match the rhythm of your hips, like he can pretend—just for a second—that it’s him you're bouncing on, that it’s him dragging those sweet, broken moans from your throat. he bites down on his shirt, tries to keep quiet, but the choked whimpers still claw their way out, raw and wrecked. his hips jolt up into his own grip, chasing the friction like an animal in heat, cock flushed red and angry, leaking down his knuckles in thick, needy strands. he’s so fucking close, but it’s not enough—it will never be enough.

he shouldn’t be doing this. shouldn’t be here. but he is. and it doesn’t fucking matter. nothing fucking matters except you. you and the sounds you make, the way you move, the way you moan a name that isn’t his.

he can hear you. every filthy, wet sound your cunt makes as it sucks jongin in, clenching like you never want to let him go. the slick, obscene squelch of every thrust, the desperate tangle of tongues in messy, open-mouthed kisses. he can see it—can feel it, like he’s the one inside you, fucking you senseless.

his hand is merciless, stroking himself rough and fast, squeezing tight like he’s trying to wring every drop of need from his aching cock. his breath stutters, breaks apart into ragged pants, his grip turning brutal, knuckles whitening. his tip is flushed an angry red, swollen and drooling pearly white precum, thick and sticky between his fingers. his thighs quake, abs tensing as sharp, searing pleasure coils in his gut, a hunger so violent it threatens to consume him whole.

he’d fuck you better. he knows he would. he’d stretch you open all pretty on his thick cock, fill you so full you’d forget how to take anyone else. he’d wreck you, make you beg, make you sob so fucking sweetly for him that you’d never even think about letting another man touch you again. you’re his—his—and he’ll carve it into your body, your soul, until you have no choice but to understand.

baekhyun’s grip tightens, knuckles paling as his fist moves in a brutal, unrelenting rhythm. his breath is ragged, lips parted in a desperate gasp, eyes shut tightly as he imagines the obscene scene in his head—you. trembling, shattered, drowning in pleasure that isn’t his to give.

his vision blurs as jongin growls it— “cum for me, my pretty girl.”

and then it happens. that beautiful, devastating sound spilling from your pretty lips.

your choked sob, broken and raw, a symphony of ruin as you gush around jongin’s cock. the slick, sinful noise is deafening, searing into baekhyun’s brain like a brand, like an oath. he hears everything—the creak of the mattress, the desperate, erratic slap of skin against skin, the way your weight shifts as you ride him through it.

but worst of all, he hears jongin’s voice.

“yeah, that’s it, baby,” jongin groans, breathless, wrecked, voice thick with pride and satisfaction. “fuck, you’re perfect—so pretty when you fall apart for me.”

rage coils tight around baekhyun’s ribs, white-hot and suffocating.

his breath hitches, his spine arching as his body betrays him, heat surging through him like wildfire. his cock twitches violently in his grip before thick, fevered ropes spill across his stomach, painting him in the evidence of his delirium. his whole body shudders, convulses, the pleasure already tainted—corrupted.

but then—jongin groans.

baekhyun knows exactly what’s happening. he doesn’t need to see it to feel it. the deep, guttural sound rips through the air, punctuated by the desperate, erratic slap of skin against skin, the ragged gasp of his final thrust—as he empties himself inside you.

his jaw clenches so tight his teeth ache, his muscles locking as a sick, twisted revulsion coils deep in his gut.

jongin is still murmuring to you, voice dripping with satisfaction. “took me so well, baby. feel that? all mine.”

baekhyun feels sick. it should be him.

his cock buried inside you, dragging you down, forcing you to take every inch. his name falling from your lips in breathless, ruined sobs. his seed dripping from you, marking you, claiming you.

but if it were him—oh, if it were him—he wouldn’t coddle you.

he wouldn’t soothe you with soft praise and gentle words. he’d fucking ruin you.

“yeah, that’s right, sweetheart,” he’d rasp, his hand fisting in your hair, dragging your head back so you couldn’t look anywhere but at him. “look at you—fuckin’ made for me.”

he wouldn’t just let you take it—he’d make you feel it.

he’d slow you down when you try to move too fast, force you to take him properly, deep and unrelenting, until the stretch was too much and not enough all at once. he’d make you work for it, watch you tremble and sob as you begged for more, and only then—only when you were mindless, ruined, desperate— would he let you have it.

his grip would tighten. his voice would darken.

“show me how much you need me, baby. cry for me. that’s it—fuck, look at you. you can take more, can’t you?”

and when you came, when you shattered around him, he wouldn’t groan.

he’d laugh. low and breathless, pure possession dripping from every syllable as he hushed your sobs with kisses, his thrusts turning brutal as he chased his own high.

and when he spilled inside you—deep, endless, his claim undeniable— his voice would rasp against your sweat-slicked skin, sticky with satisfaction, dark with promise.

“mine. only mine.”

not jongin. never fucking jongin.

because jongin doesn’t love you like he does.

not the way he would—unconditionally, obsessively, entirely. jongin doesn’t worship you, doesn’t watch your every move and commit it to memory, doesn’t ache for you in the quiet hours of the night, doesn’t carve out pieces of his soul just to make room for more of you.

jongin doesn’t understand that you were meant to be loved the way baekhyun loves you.

because he knows—he knows that once you see it, once you understand how much better he could take care of you, how much deeper he could love you, you would never want anyone else. you wouldn’t just love him back—you would love him more than you ever thought possible, more than you ever loved anyone else.

and he would take care of you so well. he would worship you the way you deserve, keep you safe, keep you happy. keep you his.

you just had to see it.

and if baekhyun is anything, he is patient.

his fingers twitch around his softening cock, but the pleasure is long gone, replaced by something uglier. something that festers, that rots, that eats at him like an insatiable hunger. his nails curl into his palms, digging in deep enough to hurt, but it’s nothing compared to the agony burning through his chest.

his tongue swipes over his lips, the taste of obsession still thick on his tongue. his lashes flutter, his breath stalling—

one day.

one day, it won’t be jongin filling you up. it won’t be jongin making you fall apart.

it’ll be him.

only him.

[mybiasisexo]

Entangled - Part 11

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Chapter Warnings: Language Word Count: 8.1k Author Notes: DOUBLE UPDATE BICTHESSSS!!!!! ok this is my big sorry!!! i was gonna post this earlier today but then coachella happened lol and my priorities changed, but we're back!!! tbh....im so scared to post this 😀. Its just a yap fest if im being honest, so if youre not into that....my bad. but ok yes ill stop blabbin. l adore you all pls enjoy 😩

It’s another hour before you leave the restaurant, impossibly full and content.

The ride back is silent. Most of the crew pass out as soon as you’re on the road, Seulgi being one of them. She uses your shoulder as a pillow. It doesn’t look comfortable, but she’s drooling into your clavicle, so it must be. You can’t sleep, so you quietly watch the beautiful dark scenery, ignoring the occasional prickles on your skin from being watched.

Once you’re back at the hotel, you start saying your goodbyes in front of the van. Everyone’s leaving at different times, so it makes sense to do your farewells now while you’re all present.

It’s bittersweet.

Jongdae is the first to approach you, collecting you tightly into his arms.

“Tell Eunhee I missed her this weekend, and congrats,” you tell him.

“Will do and thank you.”

He squeezes the shit out of you, making you yelp in pain. In retaliation, you smack his shoulder and he hisses, escaping to the next person before you can strike again.

You’re rolling your eyes as Jongin makes his way over, chuckling at his friends’ silly antics.

“He’s mean,” you whine.

“I know,” he coos as he hugs you. You instantly relax in his comforting arms. He really should start selling these things.

“It was good seeing you,” he says, making you sway.

“You too,” you say. “I’m sorry for getting you in this mess.”

“Don’t be.” He repeats. He tightens his arms. “It was bound to happen. I still believe it can work out.”

You smile pathetically. As if he can sense it, Jongin kisses the top of your head before separating.

“Make that runway your bitch,” you tell him. He smirks and bows in thanks.

Baekhyun quickly replaces him, pulling you into a firm hug.

“You’ve made this trip far more eventful than it needed to be,” he says in your ear.

“It wasn’t my intention,” you huff into his shirt.

He chuckles. “Look, I know things didn’t end on a good note, but I promise….” He leans back far enough to look into your eyes and says your name. “It can be. Everyone deserves a second chance. Even you, okay?”

The urge to cry hits you hard and you give him a watery smile. “Thank you, Baekhyun. For everything. I’ve gained some respect for you.”

His jutting jaw is the only acknowledgement he gives your last statement. “You don’t have to thank me. I just want my friends to be happy.”

“You’re hogging her.” You’re being yanked away from Baekhyun and he lets go without a fight, waving goodbye before heading inside the hotel.

“Do we have to say our goodbyes right now?” You ask, staring up at the best friend who you aren’t going back to a shared apartment with. “I’m going to cry.”

Sehun sighs before wrapping his arms around you. “Don’t be a baby.”

You’re already fighting tears, and the lump in your throat grows larger. “I’m really going to miss you.”

“I know,” and he sounds like he’s trying his hardest not to get choked up. “I’ll miss you more. I’ll visit Seoul soon. Most likely for Jongdae’s baby shower. I'll even bring Kyungsoo. I know you’ve been curious about him.”

You laugh through your now falling tears. “It’s not me who’s been curious about your little friend. I’m sure Seulgi will be pleased to hear she’ll finally be introduced.”

“Why do you think I’ve been stalling for so long?”

You share a laugh. “Okay. Jongdae’s baby shower isn’t that far away. I can handle that.”

“That works for you?” He asks sarcastically.

“It does. Just make sure to not leave without saying goodbye again, okay?”

He groans like you’re inconveniencing him, but whispers into your hair. “I won’t.”

Satisfied, you break the hug. Now that your arms are free, you wipe your damp face, laughing at how ridiculous you are. Sehun sucks his teeth in faux disapproval. Shaking his head, he lifts a hand in an attempt to help dry your face, but you knock it away. You’re about to tell him to screw off, but you’re interrupted by the clearing of a throat.

You turn towards the sound and startle slightly when you see Chanyeol standing a few steps away. His hands are deep in his pockets as his eyes flicker between Sehun and you. It’s then you notice just how quiet the portico has become, and check your surroundings. Only the three of you and Seulgi are left outside the hotel, everyone else retiring to their rooms. Seulgi is a few feet away, as though she was also leaving but decided to linger for a bit. When your eyes lock, she throws you a knowing grin.

“Sehun,” she calls. “Let me buy you a shot.”

Sehun seems to catch on quickly. “Oh! Can’t say no to a free drink, can I?”

His eyes never leave yours as he speaks, conveying an important message. ‘Talk to him and get your closure.’

He pats you before sauntering over to Seulgi, throwing an arm around her shoulders to drag her into the hotel.

Now alone, you give in and face Chanyeol.

There isn’t a flicker of the animosity or detachment you saw on the boardwalk the night before, and you aren’t sure if that’s a good thing or not. He’s admiring you, not with disgust or lust, just looking. The lack of emotion has you curious about what's going on in his head.

“Everyone’s said goodbye except us,” he finally says.

You lift an eyebrow. “Does last night not count?”

He frowns. “Do you want it to?”

“No, it’s not that!” You quickly correct. “It’s just that my decisions always hurt you in the end, so I understand if you never want to speak to me again.”

Your eyes water at the thought of going back to strangers with Chanyeol, of losing him again. But, you know you don’t deserve to ask him to stay. If he’s done trying with you, you’ll accept it without complaint. it’s the least you can do after the pain you’ve caused him these past couple days.

He turns away from you, as if he can’t stand to see your tears. One of his hands pats at his thigh as he squints at the beach in the distance.

“We’ve both made poor decisions.” he sighs heavily. “But yesterday was really really bad. I no longer know if there can be an ‘us’ after this. Maybe you're right. Maybe we’ve grown too far apart, and the people we are today aren’t able to love each other like we used to.”

He takes a deep breath and you brace yourself for his rejection. “It wasn’t until dinner that it really hit me, that today is our last day here. I don’t want to leave, to go back to Seoul, and continue living as I did before the wedding. I can’t. Not after seeing you again. I don’t want to leave Jeju with any regrets, and if we leave things like this, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”  

“Me too,” you admit. “I’ll regret it too. I already regret so much.”

“Do you regret us?”

“No. Never. I regret where we are now, but I’ll never regret you, Park Chanyeol.”

Your throat tightens from the confession, hating how it sounds like a farewell on your tongue.

You swear his eyes gloss over, but he hides it quickly by turning his head to look behind him. When he faces you again, his features are under control. He tilts his head in the direction he just checked. “Walk with me?”

This is it, and you know it. The last chance with Chanyeol. The inevitable talk you’d been skirting around all weekend. Now is the chance to have your closure, and Chanyeol is giving it to you. If you decline, what is left of your bridge will be burnt for good, keeping you both on opposite ends with no chance of return.

You’re relieved that he offers to walk. When you imagine this conversation, it’s always in Chanyeol’s suite, and you’re honestly not strong enough to ever go back there. The memories are too fresh, and you have zero faith in your self control when it comes to him.

So, you eagerly agree to his request and follow him as he starts walking down the sidewalk. It’s silent as he leads you away from the hotel, taking a path that heads towards the city not too far away. Chanyeol’s steps seem sure, and it makes you wonder if he has a certain place in mind.

He answers your unasked question five minutes later, when you take notice of a faint glowing in the distance. Chanyeol throws a couple nervous glances your way, and the shift in his demeanor has you alert.

You walk a few more feet before you can fully see a white gazebo on the edge of the sandy beach. Golden fairy lights dangle off the sides, making a surreal romantic atmosphere.

You stop dead in your tracks. Chanyeol halts beside you, intently watching your reaction.

“Do you remember this place?” he asks, voice thick with controlled emotion.

You do.

You climb up the steps into the gazebo. A wooden bench wraps around the walls and vines with pink flowers curl around the thin poles connecting to the rounded roof. You stop a little before the center and turn to Chanyeol who stayed back, allowing you a moment to yourself.

“This is where you proposed to me.”

The lights reflect off his round eyes, softening them. Or maybe it’s the memory you both share. A day that you will never forget.

It was your senior trip. Come to think of it, there are many similarities to the one you’re currently on. All of your college friends came to Jeju and stayed at the same hotel, thanks to Junmyeon. You were in a different suite that time, with a different roommate. For five days, the gang ran around the city, exploring and partying. Basking in the last moments you all had before fully joining the real world. Well, Jongdae, Baekhyun, Junmyeon, and Chanyeol had already graduated, but that didn’t stop them from acting like it was their last moments as well. Speaking of Chanyeol, the two of you were deeply in love by that point. You were that nauseating couple that would get lost in your own little world, gravitating around each other in your own solar system. The last day of the trip, he had talked you into having a girl’s day with Seulgi. You were hesitant, because you wanted to spend the last day with him, but he assured you that you’d have him all to yourself that night.

That was enough to have Seulgi drag you around town, taking you to get pampered with a spa and convincing you to let her buy you a dress that she was adamant you had to wear later that night. Little did you know she was in on a plan being prepared behind your back. 

When the sun was setting, you followed her to where you thought you were going to meet up with everyone else for dinner, and were confused when she dragged you to the middle of the beach. That was when you spotted the gazebo. There were pink and white balloons on the far side across the entrance. And in the center, dressed in a fancy black suit, stood Park Chanyeol.

You glared accusingly at Seulgi, who just laughed and shoved you into the gazebo. Your heart raced dangerously fast, nearly drowning out the speech Chanyeol prepared for you. It was beautiful. Chanyeol, ever the poet, poured his heart to you, tearing up as he explained his endless love and devotion.

Then he dropped to one knee and pulled out a ring from his pants. You’d later chastise him for not keeping it in its box. He held it up and it shimmered against the lights surrounding you, but it paled in comparison to the shimmering in Chanyeol’s eyes.

‘Will you continue to be the melody of my life’s song?’ He asked. ‘Will you marry me?’

You were screaming yes before he could finish his question. His smile was blinding as he slid the ring onto your finger and you pounced on him. He held you tightly, lifting you up with him as he stood, and buried his face into your neck as you both cried. You hadn’t noticed all of your friends poking around the outside of the gazebo, popping streamers and cheering as you held onto your soulmate and cried with a happiness and love you knew only a few people have genuinely felt. You were so lucky to have Park Chanyeol. You were so lucky to be loved by him….

You blink.

“That was the best day of my life,” he whispers.

“Mine too,” you admit.

You turn away, not able to handle the tenderness he carries.

He tentatively enters the gazebo, sitting on the bench near the entrance. “I stumbled across it after our… conversation last night. It felt fitting. A reminder of why we’re here.”

Indeed. This was the beginning of the end of you. It makes sense to end this trip here, to end your relationship here. If that’s what you were doing.

You wrap your arms around your stomach, holding yourself together because you’re already at your limit and know you’re about to shatter. Your back still faces Chanyeol, not ready to see the way the fairy lights warm his handsome face. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I should have told you where I was taking you. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I’m not upset,” you assure. It’s not a lie, but it’s not completely true. You aren’t upset with him for bringing you here. If anything, you need to see this place. You finally turn to face him and the stark difference of how he looks now compared to the last time you saw him under this roof is startling. He wore no fancy suit, only casual khaki pants and a cream button down shirt. His hair blows gently in the breeze, longer and lighter than on that day, and his expression has lost the confidence and joy that was hard to hide then. He is now a shadow of the man that proposed to you, he is a man who has lost the one thing he thought he’d have forever. “It’s just a lot.”

He nods in agreement. “Do you want to leave?”

“No. I agree with you. This is the perfect spot. We can talk here if that’s what you want.” Again, you make sure to let him know that you’re doing this on his terms. He’s in charge here. You’ll be truthful, you’ll answer any question honestly, and you’ll let him be the one to decide how this trip ends.

“Where should we start?” he asks as you make your way over to sit beside him. You make sure to leave some space, knowing how distance can skew your train of thought around him.

“Let’s start with this,” you begin. “What do you want from this conversation?”

“I just want us to not avoid each other the next time we’re in the same room.”

“You think we can be friends?” You ask, genuinely curious of his answer.

He shrugs feebly. “If that’s all we can be. I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not in it at all.”

You’re not a fan of his answer. Earlier, you told him that you didn’t think you could ever be his friend, and you still believe that. The thought of him actually moving on one day, and having to watch him regard somebody else the way he did you has your heart squeezing in agony. Seeing him with Yerim has been difficult as it is, imagining him with someone he actually loves leaves you disturbed.

Tell him, the Baekhyun in your head urges. Tell him how you really feel.

You already tried to last night. You still have so much love for Chanyeol, but sometimes that’s simply not enough. There’s still too much left unsaid, blocking the path to a future that can possibly end with you back together. The ball that’s always been in your court has now rolled over onto his side, and you aren’t sure if he’s going to pick it up or kick it away and finally put this long game to rest.

But he deserves that choice. Chanyeol has been so strong for you. He’s given you up multiple times, has had his heart broken because of you far more times than you have by him. You owe it to him to choose what he wants for himself. As much as you’d rather part ways on good terms and continue living as you have–without him in your life–if Chanyeol still wants you in his, you’ll suck it up and be present. Because you know for a fact that if the roles were reversed, he’d do the same with no complaint.

Still hurts like a bitch though.

Not yet, you tell your inner Baekhyun, ignoring the way he rolls his eyes. You don’t need his sass right now.

“If that’s what you want,” you push through the tightening of your throat. “Then we should start off easy. How did you end up at Junmyeon’s wedding with Yerim as your date?”

He coughs a shocked laugh. “If that’s the easiest topic, we’re going to be here til the sun rises.”

You shrug a shoulder. “That’s fine with me.”

He watches you for a moment before dropping his head to look at his hands that lay limply between his parted thighs. “As soon as I got Junmyeon’s announcement, I thought of you. I knew you were going to be there, and I couldn’t shake this feeling that you were going to bring a date. The idea of seeing you being happy with your new boyfriend, while I had no one, made me sick. I began to panic, because I didn’t want to be the loser who hadn’t moved on. I wanted you to think I no longer cared. I needed a date.”

That makes you pity him a bit, and you feel bad for calling him an asshole. The intentions behind it are anything but. He was trying to protect himself, and that’s nothing to make fun of.

“And then you met Yerim.”

“And then I met Yerim.” He sinks further into the bench and your ears perk at the name. It hits you then that it’s the first time you’ve heard Chanyeol speak her name. Was he being respectful towards you by neglecting to voice the name of the ‘other’ woman in your picture? Or maybe that was his poor attempt at pretending she didn’t exist while in your presence. Intrigued, you study the way the syllables left his mouth. It’s said with contrition, and that jealous part of you that you’re surprised to still find vanishes with content.

“I don’t know if you remember,” he continues, unaware of the healing already being done to you. “But she works at the cafe near my job. If I’m being honest, I’d been going there for months and hadn’t paid her any mind. I just knew she made the best Americano I’ve ever had in my life! But, after some time, it was kind of obvious she had a little crush on me. Although I was flattered, I never pursued it because I was never interested. That didn’t stop her from being bold. She always made a point to have a conversation with me, even when they were slammed, and I guess she wore me down. Our little talks started becoming the highlights of my days, and I started paying her more attention.”

His story brings to mind a few times Yerim mentioned a cute customer to you. How wild is it that Chanyeol is the customer she’d always tell you about.

“She is funny,” you acknowledge begrudgingly. “And pretty.”

“She is,” he agrees, and you guess your jealousy hasn’t vanished after all. “But, that’s not what ultimately drew me to her.”

“What was it then?”

He avoids your gaze. “She reminded me of you.”

“Oh!” Okay, now your jealousy is officially gone.

“Yeah. Oh. The more Yerim and I talked, the more she sounded like you. Now it makes sense, because you’re close friends so you must’ve rubbed off on her. But, at the time, it really felt like I was getting a second chance. How could I not fall for her when she acted so much like you?”

Your eyebrows raise at that. You’ve never noticed your influence on Yerim, but apparently it’s strong enough to catch your ex’s attention. In a strange way, you are the reason they got together. You’re not sure how to react to the fact. Part of you is sympathetic towards them both, at the fact Chanyeol only liked Yerim because of you. But you’re also flattered and a bit proud for ruining him so much. 

Even though you think you know the answer, this conversation is all about honesty, so you have to confirm something. “Did you like her? Like that? You’ve been pretty adamant about her not being your girlfriend.”

“She wasn’t,” he’s still quick to deny. “And I didn’t. At the start I thought I did. Well, I thought I could fall for her. Maybe if we had time before the wedding to actually get to know each other outside of the cafe, I would have. But the timing was bad. She tried, she really did. But I was too distracted by what was about to happen to give her my full attention, and once I saw you, all thoughts of Yerim went out the window.”

“That’s why you kicked her out?”

“It is. But, I’m getting ahead of myself.” He backtracks, continuing his story where he left off. “The main reason for me being so adamant on bringing a date was to prove to everybody, including myself, that I was completely over you. But, the fact that I started pursuing someone because they reminded me of you should have been the first sign I wasn’t. Still, I ignored it, and when the wedding got brought up, I saw my perfect opportunity. She agreed all too easily.”

“Like fate.”

“It felt like that. Like it was too perfect. Baekhyun said it was a dumb idea. He told me I wasn’t going to get you back that way. I told him I didn’t want you back. As you can imagine, he didn’t believe me.”

“Did you even believe you?”

“I did,” he defends, slightly offended. “I thought enough time had passed, and thinking about you didn’t hurt as much as it had. Sure, I didn’t know if I was capable of ever loving someone as much as I loved you, and I had built some walls after us, but I was ready to try again. And I was going to prove it during dinner. I wanted to make you feel the same as I did. I figured we both could suffer a little, and I…I wanted to hurt you. But, even though I knew you were going to be there, I still wasn’t prepared for the shock of finally seeing you in person. All that bravado I had vanished the moment I saw you. Especially after I realized you did not, in fact, have a date.”

“Technically, I did,” you correct. “Seulgi was my date.”

“Should I have been worried about her?” he asks skeptically.

You can’t miss the opportunity to tease him. “A lot can happen in a couple years. Who knows? We could’ve been inlaws.”

His face pinches in disgust. “That’s a sick joke, Me….”

He lets the petname die on his tongue, unsure if that’s something he still wants to call you.

“I deserve that,” you mumble and attempt a reassuring smile. He takes one look at your stretched lips and immediately starts nervously nibbling on his own. You sense his internal battle, fighting the instinct to defend you while also agreeing with what you said.

The light atmosphere you created dissipates as quickly as it comes.

He clears his throat. “Anyways, that’s why I brought Yerim. I wanted to get a reaction out of you.”

“And did you get the reaction you wanted?” You ask.

“In the grand scheme of things, I guess I did. But at the moment, I didn’t think so. It felt more like it backfired on me. That whole dinner I tried to taunt you by using Yerim, but you never took the bait. You didn’t care at all. That hurt more than I’d like to admit. Especially because your presence was eating me up inside.”

“I’m a better actress than I give myself credit for if you couldn’t see how affected I was. I pretty much went through exactly what you were afraid of happening to you, with an extra brutal layer of personally knowing the date. Trust me when I say you succeeded.”

“It doesn’t feel like a victory,” he shares. “As soon as dinner was over, I realized Baekhyun was right, bringing Yerim was dumb. I was overwhelmed with all these old resurfacing feelings, and all I could think about was you. How was I going to see you again, and what would I say when I did. I made some pretty rash decisions, like kicking Yerim out of our room because I didn’t want you to think we were sleeping together, and then forgetting to have breakfast with her the next morning like I promised because I talked to you the night before. Our conversation was proof that I wasn’t alone in these old feelings, and gave me the courage to attempt to pursue you. It wasn’t a lot, and you were really drunk, but you kept giving me this look I was very familiar with, and I couldn’t deny it if I tried.”

“A look?” You question, having no idea what he’s referring to. He’s never told you about a look before.

“Yes.” He sounds tortured thinking about it. “You get this look on your face whenever you want me to lean down to kiss you. These past few days, we’d argue, you’d tell me how wrong this situation was, and then you’d stare up at me with those eyes of yours. I could never forget that expression, it’s one of my favorites. So, I’d try to oblige you, and at the last second, you’d push me away, and I’d go back to my room and yell in frustration. It was frustrating, knowing you still wanted me, even if you weren’t aware of it, all because of the way you’d look at me.”

Hell. He really can read you like a book.

“So, you ended things with her because of the way I was looking at you?” You confirm.

“I broke up with Yerim because I was leading her on,” he corrects. “But also, I can admit that I was being selfish, and she was in the way of what I truly wanted. You. I knew with her out of the picture, you’d be less…resistant.”

“What did you expect would happen?” You implore. “You’d tell me you broke things off with her and I’d come running back into your arms? Was that the plan?”

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly. “Maybe that you’d lower your guard and stop fighting me. But, I mean, you did run back to me not long after she left….”

You narrow your eyes. “That was because of the wedding.”

“I thought we were being honest with each other?”

That shuts you up. He knows he got you there, if the smug look on his face is any indicator.

“Fine,” you relent. “I most likely wouldn’t have done that had Yerim still been here.”

He bows his head in gratitude for your honesty.

“Alright,” you drawl, fiddling with your fingers. “It’s your turn to ask me a question.”

Chanyeol inhales deeply, and you know it’s going to be a difficult one.

“Last night,” he starts, and you already dread what’s next. “You said that you couldn’t get over what happened the last time we were together.”

“I did.”

“It made me realize that I hurt you way more than I thought I did. You’d mentioned it a couple times, but I didn’t get it… not until now.”

“I may have called off the engagement,” you say. “But it was you, Chanyeol, who ultimately broke us up.”

“Is that how you see it?” He asks, a darkness creeping into his tone.

“How else am I?” You retort. “I asked to get back together and you said yes.”

“I didn’t realize….” He shook his head in denial. “I wasn’t listening.”

“I gathered,” you scoff, growing irritated. “That day I had worked up the courage to call you. It had been a year since we’d last seen each other–”

“Ten and a half months. But who’s counting?” he cuts you off to say.

“Ten and a half months,” you correct. “I felt so stupid because of that. I made such a big show of leaving you, just to beg for you back not even a year later.”

“I wouldn’t have seen it that way,” he says. “I was waiting for that call. To me, those ten and a half months felt more like years.”

“I wish I’d known that then, because I was so nervous. I feared the worst. That you would be angry at me for ending things just to come back so soon. Or worse. That you’d somehow moved on during that time, or realized that you were no longer in love with me. It was that fear that drove me to come up with a cover, an excuse to get you to come over.”

“The ring,” he realizes, jaw clenching at the grim reminder.

“Yeah,” you confirm. “I had it all planned out. I’d tell you that you needed to come over so that you could take it back, but then I’d confess and ask for another chance.”

“You could’ve just told me you missed me,” he says. “It would’ve been just as effective. Actually, more. I would’ve been there faster.”

“I couldn’t just tell you that,” you explain. “I didn’t want to come off desperate. But, I admit, using the ring was the worst thing I could’ve done. I swear I had no intention of giving it back.”

“You were very convincing in acting like it was,” he mutters. “I didn’t even have time to ask how you’d been before you were sitting it on the table. I was hoping you weren’t being serious. But as soon as I saw you, it was obvious you’d changed. It hadn’t been that long, but you were different. You didn’t want me anymore.”

“I didn’t need you anymore, Chanyeol. I still wanted you, if later that night was any indicator.”

“You couldn’t stop raving about how much better your life was now that I was no longer in it! I had to listen to you go on and on about your great new life without me, all while staring at your engagement ring. It was the first time I’d ever seen it not on your finger, and it felt like a punch to the damn gut! My heart was breaking all over again, but there was no hope to latch onto this time.”

His words are enlightening. Despite your attempts at blocking the memory, you remember that night in great detail. You remember how sweaty your palms were from the nerves, to the point you couldn’t even hold a glass of water. You remember the wave of relief that swept over you when you opened the door to see Chanyeol on the other side. You remember his expression, the conflicting emotions of love and hope, battling against reluctance and defeat. Putting the ring on the table was also due to nerves. You wanted to keep pretenses for a little longer, but the way he had zeroed in on the piece of jewelry worried you so much you began rambling.

He never took his eyes off that ring. You remember that clearly. It made you panic, and in a poor attempt to fill the silence, you started updating him on your life. You told him about the job you had just gotten that you’d been dying to get, about your hesitant plans on moving in with Seulgi, about the trips you had taken, anything to get him to react. He didn’t. By that point, you decided to get to the main reason for inviting him. You remember easing into it, telling him you had a lot of time to think about what you wanted in life, and had succeeded in your mission to find yourself. You were ready, if he was still willing. You were ready to become his wife.

He didn’t say anything. Hadn’t moved an inch.

You were positive he hadn’t blinked once during your monologue. Was he angry? Of course he was! That’s when you realized you’d made an irreversible mistake and was now living through the consequences. Maybe he didn’t want you back. Maybe you put too much faith in his love for you. Now looking back on it, you felt a lot like you do at this moment. If Chanyeol was done with you, you’d let him leave. You were going to put him first this time.

‘Chanyeol?’ you called gently. That seemed to bring him back. His eyelids fluttered and he straightened in his chair, pulling away from the ring to finally look at you. You were mesmerized by the richness of his eyes, they were prettier than you recalled, but maybe that was the unshed tears reflecting off the lights overhead. His mouth had fallen open, eyebrows lifted in a question, and you cleared your throat and forced yourself to blink, to break the intimate contact.

‘Are we good?’ You asked, voice shaking in apprehension. You were terrified of his answer, terrified of this being the end of you. Yet, you were prepared for rejection.

‘Yeah, we're good,’ he said. Not expecting that, you stared at him in shock for a moment until reality hit. He was taking you back! Instantly, you felt silly for doubting him. Of course he was taking you back. He already told you that he’d always love you. Feeling giddy with excitement, you weren’t even thinking when you reached out to him….

“I didn’t….” Chanyeol seems to also be back in that living room, reliving that dreadful day. “I couldn’t listen to you brag about your newfound happiness. It was like you were trying to hurt me. So, I stopped listening. Next thing I knew, you’re saying my name and like an idiot, I look at you. You asked me if we were good. I was confused, because you were obviously nervous, but I assumed you just wanted to leave on good terms. So, I agreed. ‘Sure, we’re good’.

….And then you kissed him.

“And then you kissed me.” His eyebrows furrow in the confusion he still feels. “And nothing else mattered after that. Not the ring, not the break up. Just you.”

Chanyeol gives you a Look of his own, and the moment turns tender.

Except all those feelings from the morning after bubbled up to the surface, and you despise the softness of his gaze. 

“That was until the morning, right?” You say bitterly. “Then I didn’t matter at all.”

“That’s not–”

“You left me!” You snap. His mouth audibly shuts at the rise of your voice. “You agreed to get back together, had sex with me, disappeared in the morning, took the ring, and blocked me on everything so that I couldn’t get ahold of you! You claim it was because you were afraid of being used, but that’s what you ended up doing! You used me, Chanyeol, and I haven’t been the same since. You destroyed me! ”

“I didn’t use you!” He pleads. “Stop looking at me like that. You told me you didn’t hate me.”

“I don’t,” you say. “I’m just trying to understand. Was it one last fuck for old times’ sake?”

“God, no! Don’t say it like that. I’ve never ‘fucked’ you. That’s not what that night meant to me.”

“Then what did it mean?” You beg for answers. “If it wasn’t your get back, if it wasn’t you confirming our relationship. What the fuck did it mean to you?”

He meets your gaze, determination igniting within him. “It meant everything to me! That kiss may have felt like the beginning to you, but for me, it was an ending. And I had something to prove. If that was going to be our last night together, I was going to give you every last piece of me. I wanted you to feel my love deep inside your bones, so that you could never forget what it felt like to be truly loved by me. I wanted to ruin you, so that any man that touched you after would pale in comparison. I wanted you to yearn for me on lonely nights, to miss me even if it was a fraction of the loss I was going to feel. I wanted you to still want me.”

Your breathing hitches at his explanation, because you’d be damned if that’s not exactly what he did. Your body awakens from his words, desperately calling for him the way it always has. You battle with the need to pull him close and have him sink into your soul. He made sure to leave his mark on you that night, to carve a hole deep within your heart that could never regrow. You’ve felt that emptiness since, carried it unknowingly. And now that you’ve been reunited, you see that he still holds that chunk with him. Chanyeol still possesses the missing piece to your heart.

The fire inside him seems to diminish once his speech is done. Now guilt slumps his shoulders and lowers his head.

“That morning….” He licks his dry lips. “It was a lapse of judgment.” You can’t help but wonder if he’s told himself this multiple times throughout the years to rationalize his decision. “Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. You have to believe me. It took everything to get out of your bed, everything to touch that ring. Everything to leave your life for good.”

“But I didn’t want you to,” you confess, on the verge of tears. 

“I know,” he whispers, eyes just as glossy as yours. “I know that now. But, at the time, it was too impossible a dream to even fathom. I had to protect my heart too, you know?”

You did. He had every right to keep his guard up, even if it was at the detriment of your own feelings. 

“And trust me when I say,” he continues. “I suffered too. I hated myself just as much as you did. I still do. Knowing that I broke you so badly…. I can’t even put into words how sorry I am. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you.” He says your name. “That night was no exception.”

“You literally just said that you brought Yerim to hurt me,” you point out with a sniff.

“Right.” He winces. “But, that’s the only time, I swear!”

He reaches for your hands and you let him hold them. They’re big and warm and the contact soothes you. “Had I known…. Had I listened to you that night, I would have never left. If I knew that kiss meant so much more than a goodbye, we would’ve been married the next week. It’s my fault for not listening and for leaving without an explanation. I hurt us both that day. I’ll accept that now. I’m so fucking sorry, Mel.”

Him calling you Mel again is enough to make you finally shatter. Leaning against him, you press your forehead to his chest as sobs rack your own. He pulls you into his arms, rocking you back and forth as apologies fall from his mouth. You can hear the tears he sheds.

You both cry until you’re dried out, and as the gazebo quiets Chanyeol still holds you.

Once you’ve collected yourself, you speak through a stuffy nose. “I’m sorry too.”

Chanyeol stops swaying at the sound of your voice, so you continue. “I held a lot of animosity for what you did, but I ended up doing the same thing to you.”

“You were confused–”

“It’s no excuse. I left because I was scared, but I still hurt you.” You pull back so that you can show him your sincerity and finally own up for the things you did. “I’ve been playing with you this whole trip, because of my indecisiveness. I’ve been leading you on for days, pushing and pulling away, and you don’t deserve that. No matter our past, you don’t deserve to be treated the way I’ve been treating you.”

“Thank you,” he accepts with a sniff.

“No, thank you,” you counter. “For explaining yourself, and for giving me a chance to explain myself as well. You didn’t owe me anything after what I did to you.”

“You didn’t do anything–”

“You don’t have to protect me anymore, Chanyeol. We’re past that now, aren’t we?”

He grows contemplative at that. “After our night together, much like when you kissed me all those years ago, I assumed we were back together.” As he speaks, he dries your wet face with his hands. You close your eyes, savoring his touch just in case it’s the last. “So when you denied it at the beach, I was hurt. I didn’t understand your reluctance, and I couldn’t figure out what was so wrong with me that you kept rejecting me. It wasn’t until after our fight, when I kept pushing and pushing and yet you still didn’t want me, that I took off the rose tinted glasses and reality set in. Seeing you again, at the place where our love was at its peak, it was easy to forget all the ways we went wrong. You were back in my life, and that was the important part. In my mind, we’d figure everything else out later. Because of that, I didn’t take your feelings into consideration, and I was moving way too fast. I guess, deep down, I knew that I had fucked up and was trying to make up for it. But you weren’t ready, and let's be honest, I’m not ready either. I thought about your offer to give it some time once we’re back in Seoul to separate the past from the present. I’d like to take you up on it, if it still stands.”

You’re relieved to know he finally understands what you were trying to explain to him yesterday. That it wasn’t necessarily a no, just a not-right-now. 

“I would like that,” you admit. 

You both smile at each other, taking in the other unabashedly in your safe space. You catch him glance down at your lips and pout. “Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll ever not be attracted to you. Is that bad?”

You can’t help but laugh. “I think this trip is proof of how bad it can be, but I feel the same regardless.”

He lets out a sigh full of longing, and nervous about the changing atmosphere around you both, you speak. “Let’s make it a pact then. After we leave tomorrow, we’ll continue living as we had before the wedding, and after some time has passed, we’ll meet up and decide if this is something we actually want to try again, or if we should officially move on.”

“How long?” He asks.

You hum as you think of what a good enough time could be. “Jongdae’s baby shower is in four months. Do you think that’s enough time?”

His eyes take on a familiar shimmer. “I think it’s perfect.”

Chanyeol gets to his feet and pulls you up onto yours. You expect him to start walking back, but instead he pulls you deeper into the gazebo, until he’s standing in the center. 

“How did I do it again?” he mumbles before sinking onto one knee, and your heart lurches into your throat.

“Chanyeol, what are you doing?” You choke.

He holds your left hand, thumb sliding over where your engagement ring once sat. He lifts his head to gaze up at you, and the fairy lights ahead douse him in a golden hue, sparkling in the dark depths of his soul. He now fully embodies the man he was four years ago, and you have a hard time differentiating what year you're in.

Your full name falling from his lips makes you focus on the present. “The last time I was here, I proposed to you, so it’s only fitting I do it again. I’m sorry, but I don’t have a ring this time.”

“Probably for the best,” you wheeze, still overwhelmed.

“Tonight, I’m proposing a deal. That we leave here and figure our shit out, and on the day of Jongdae’s baby shower, we will come to an agreement on how we will pursue this relationship. We will decide to either date again, stay strictly platonic, or become nonexistent. Do you agree to the terms?”

“Yes.” You agree.

Chanyeol smiles largely, and pretends to put a ring on your finger before kissing it. “Then it’s a deal.”

With that, he stands up and you look at him expectantly.

“There’s that look,” he whispers before obliging your unspoken request by leaning down to kiss you.

You kiss as though it’s the last time you ever will, savoring the other and indulging in such a forbidden touch. Whenever you think Chanyeol’s about to break it, he merely tilts his head the other way to deepen it and you giggle and fall right back into your perfect rhythm. A slow warm heat builds from your core, up to your chest, to burn in your throat. Surprisingly, it’s not arousal. It’s something more grounding, more brittle. It’s affection, it’s grief.

It’s love.

The two of you pull apart eventually, staring deep into each other’s eyes as you attempt to catch your breaths.

“There,” Chanyeol says, voice gravelly and deep, as though he just woke up. “Sealed with a kiss.”

You’re smiling, and it all feels so bittersweet, you think you may also be crying again.

“I….” Chanyeol brushes your hair back. Whatever he’s about to say–and you have a suspicious feeling you might know what it is–he decides to keep to himself. Instead, he presses another kiss to your forehead and untangles himself from you. “Let’s go back. I have an early flight.”

The walk to the hotel is peacefully silent. You don’t hold hands or anything, but you’re close enough to have your arm brush his occasionally. When you’re in the elevator, you stand on opposite sides of the cart, just as you had a couple nights ago. He’s smiling at you, and it’s so sweet and boyish, you can’t help but smile back. The action makes his smile grow wider.

When you’re deposited onto your floor, he walks you to your door.

“Sorry for all the drama,” you say as you dig for your room key.

“I wouldn’t have had it any other way.” He grins at you, nudging your shoulder with his arm.

Opening the door, you pause and turn to him. He meets your gaze expectantly.

“See you at the baby shower?” You ask anxiously.

He nods. “I’ll see you at the baby shower, Mel.”

Reassured, you head inside, closing the door quietly behind you. Your heart is pounding a million miles a second, and you take a moment to calm it down with deep breaths. It doesn’t help much. You’re too excited. You’re…hopeful. You know that whatever you decide on the day you see Chanyeol again, he’ll be on the same page. 

You finally got your closure, and are now ready for a new chapter, with or without him. And that doesn’t scare you nearly as much as it had this morning. You’ll never let him know, but Sehun was right. The talk was much needed.

You get ready for bed, and take in the room you spent some of the most stressful days in. You find you’re going to miss this place. Maybe next year you can book the same room, you think as you crawl into bed and fall into a peaceful slumber, knowing all but one of the knots in your rope have finally been untangled.

series m.list | main m.list

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taglist @byunparklimchoi, @notyuji @hisungovenaocare @theawesomehero7714, @kawaii–mommy, @ohsehunsgurl

[peachesvanilla]

Bad boy, Sad girl

Pairing: Kim Jongin x reader

genre: college au! popular!Jongin, fluff, romance

Warnings: none

Inspirations: Bad boy, sad girl by seulgi ft be'o' and a prompt list

“Oh my god!” I suppress my giggle reading the female lead antics. Cupping my mouth, I gasp. That didn’t happen just now. 

A thunder booms across the sky jolting me awake from the book. Heavy downpour of rain made it hard to decipher which is which on the road. I think that’s the reason for the usually busy cafe to be empty besides me. 

I sip on the hot chocolate, enjoying each sip under the well lit area, rain and thunder sounds, and I have my book. Isn’t this the perfect place for a reader? It’s heaven. 

“What are you reading?” Someone asks in my ear, startling the hell out of me. The hot chocolate spills on my hand and my skin burns from the hot content. “Fuck.” 

“Shit.” He stretches his long muscled arm to the next table and grabs some tissues. He gently pats the tissue on my hand. His long strands of hair poking his brown eyes, veins running down his tan arms makes my heart skip a beat. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have sneaked up on you.” 

His melodic voice calms my insides. But why does all of this feel like I have known him from somewhere, and that too known him so well. I tilt my head to the side trying to get a clear view of his face. He must have understood my struggle because he smiled, turning to me as he tended to my hand. 

The fuck is happening. This shouldn’t have been happening. He can’t be here out of all. 

“We-hel-hi!” I stumble for coherent words. Okay, how bad is it to remember a basic ‘hi’ brain?! “No, hi.” I gently smile, tucking my hair behind my ear. “Jongin.” 

His eyebrow shorts up, his lips tilting up in a smug grin. Of course. He didn’t even introduce himself and yet I know his name. Well if that doesn’t feed the ego of the bad boy of the university what will? 

“You know me.” That’s not even a question. “That’s unexpected.” He drags the chair from my table, turns it around and sits, resting his cheek on the back of the chair. “Stuck in the rain?”

I check the window, the rain water slides down the window glass in a heavy flow. My insides sing when a silent lightning lights up the whole sky. I close my eyes anticipating the sound. The loud rumble almost shakes up the cafe. My smile only grows bigger. 

“No.” I reply to Jongin. “I am enjoying the rain.”

He hums, his eyes shining under the fluorescent lights. His shirt is damp, so is his hair. If you squint one can see a water droplet sliding down his cheek slowly from his hair strand. He is still in the same brown t-shirt he was wearing during the classes. 

“What’s the book about?” He asks again, tapping his fingers on the said book. 

“Nothing of your interest.” I mumble, flipping the ends of the pages through my thumb. “Just a silly little romance.” The words are a lost whisper now. 

“Can I read the description?” He is already dragging the book out of my hand. His warm fingers brushing mine in a slow motion. “Romance is my forte.” He winks. 

Okay, my heart, stop the fuck down. I mean no don’t stop because I may die then but please do slow down. And butterflies in my stomach too. It’s a daily thing for him to wink or brush hands. Same as breathing. 

The little smile on his lips doesn’t disappear as his eyes slide down the description. His full lips, the bow on his upper lip fascinates me, how can one have beautiful lips? And seeing him laugh in live releases a thousand butterflies in a second. He opens a random page in the middle of the book. His eyebrow shots up to the roof, his eyes flicking to me, the spark in his eyes is mischievous. 

God, what page is he on? It’s a spicy book. How did I let the book slip away from me? I do an excellent job in hiding my guilty pleasure books from the outside world.

Maybe you were busy drooling at him. Or his lips. Or his smile. 

There’s no need to remind me of that fact, brain. Ugh, how to get my book back. I clasp on to the edge of my book, grabbing it. But his vice grip on it doesn’t make it easy as I thought it would be. 

“Give it back.” I ask, still pulling. 

“Wait.” He reads the contents in a hurry, “I’m on an interesting part.” 

“No.” I hold his wrist trying to pry away his iron grip on the book. “Please, Jongin.” 

He freezes in his movements for a second, I easily grab my book from him and stuff it into my tote bag. He watches my movements in interest, like a kid watches a cake in the oven. 

“You go to my university.” He plucks my id hanging on the tote bag. “Interesting picture.” 

My mood sullens at his words. “We go to the same class.” I snatch my ID back and stuff it into my bag. I don’t see his surprised face, and play with the half filled cup. 

I know he doesn’t know me. He is the Jongin who has half of the campus behind him(this is exaggeration but anyway). In my defense I even sat on the first bench at least he should have noticed in passing. But given the fact he rarely comes to the class and takes the back door often can make him miss her existence in the class. 

“Jongin! Hurry!” His friend, Kyungsoo, shouts from the entrance of the cafe. 

Jongin stands up from the chair, and rearranges it back into the table like a perfect gentleman. He waves to me, “bye. It was fun talking to you.” Without even waiting for my bye or acknowledgement of his words he runs to the door.

My two minute happiness evaporates seeing my crush leave me just like that. Such a bad boy he is. How can he leave that way? Leave a girl all alone in a deserted cafe. I look back through my shoulder, his broad back makes me sigh again. Can’t I have him in my life? Can I have him in my life? The thunder rumbles again, and he turns around at the same time. He tilts his head a little and grins. 

There goes my heart. 

[jongbross]

not really a mtl but. where do the members prefer to finish 🫣 ?

y'all horny as fuck, there's only nsfw requests in my inbox, EXO MAKE A COMEBACK PLEASE!!

but also...

minseok likes to finish on your thighs

junmyeon likes to finish inside you (either he's wearing a condom or not)

yixing likes to finish on your stomach (his pull out game is strong, so don't worry)

baekhyun likes to finish either in your stomach or on your face because he's a freaky

jongdae likes to finish either inside or backshots!!

chanyeol likes to finish, well, everywhere - but he moans the loudest when it's on your back or face

kyungsoo likes to finish either inside or backshots too

jongin likes to finish on your boobs or on his own stomach (but somebody will have to clean up the mess 🤷‍♀️)

sehun likes to finish on your back or on your thighs

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

You met this Do Kyungsoo at work. Let me make this clear, he may be a manager but he is not your manager. He has no actual power over you.

Sure, his pay is higher than yours and sure, he has his own parking spot into which he expertly places his immaculate and sparkling Mercedes that is the exact same color as the clear winter sky at midnight—the exact same shade of darkness that you’ve caught seeping out from the center of his eyes as he focused them on your face the night of the company fundraiser.

Sure, when he opens his lips and speaks a mere four words with that demanding tone, several suited minions scatter about the office performing their best for him in desperation for just a hint of his rare approval.

“Tell me your name.” It wasn’t even a question. His first four words to you and the first time you’d heard him speak in that low timbre and your reply was stuck tight in your throat. Your guards were up high when you first caught glimpse of how well he filled out his suit and how well he drove that car and how little regard he gave to the team of hard workers that worked themselves to the bone for him. You felt the warmth of his proximity at your side and you had no doubt he was speaking to you. Your tongue refused to cooperate and when you feigned deafness and walked away his black pupils followed you across to your sanctuary across the aisle.

‘Don’t get on Manager Do’s bad side. He will make you regret it.’ One minion whispered to another and looked longingly across the aisle where you peacefully sorted your receipts, shrugged at the chaos across the way and restarted the music in your headphones. He wasn’t your manager.

Perhaps that was the start of it—the blackness that seemed to cover you whenever his eyes were on you as they had been multiple times a day at work and were, now, all night. You felt haunted by them. You felt weakened each time you caught him watching. He seemed to grow even stronger by it. As if he was winning some game you’d never agreed to play.

This damned fundraiser and your stupid idea to volunteer to serve drinks for the first half of the night in exchange for a small bonus in your paycheck that you’d already spent on bills.

It was harder than you expected. You had been running nonstop. Your feet were aching in the heels and the strap of your dress kept slipping annoyingly off your shoulder and when you were finally done with your shift you stood at the bar and reached for a glass of red wine and drained the entire thing in one go.

“I’ll have what you’re drinking.” The familiar low voice spoke out over your shoulder. Close enough for the puff of air from his lips to warm the bare skin of your neck and you gasped in surprise and spun. The quickness of your motion must have startled him. Did he think you were falling? A warm palm wrapped around your waist and the heat in his hand blazed through the thin fabric of your dress.

You didn’t move.

Manager Do leaned then, impossibly closer to you and your eyes drifted down the length of his face, finding a focus on the plumpness of his upper lip. You’d never allowed yourself to stand this close to him before and your eyes wandered over the constellation of tiny moles on his pretty skin.

His leaning eventually changed direction as he retreated like a tide and in his hand sat a wine glass filled with the same red wine you tasted on your tongue.

He lifted the rim to his lips and as they parted the tip of his pink tongue touched along the thin glass edge before he tilted the glass and took the alcohol into his mouth.

The corners of his mouth were lifted before he’d even swallowed the wine and a smirk overcame the seriousness you were so used to finding on his face. You’d expected him to leave. He’d gotten his drink and he surely had other people to torture tonight. But he didn’t move. His eyes watched your face for far too long and the skin on the small of your back had warmed to match the heat of his hand.

You could smell him now. Something spicy, crisp, and expensive as hell.

“Tell me your name,” he breathed against the goosebumped skin below your earlobe, this time with just a hint of defeat on his voice that you probably imagined.

“Please?”