#long story short im sad and annoyed and wish they would have spoken up to me about this before just ghosting me

[preciouslandmermaid]

so as u guys know i went through a breakup in june. which was a good thing. i wasn’t invested in the relationship, i was unhappy, the honeymoon had faded, there were flags that i simply couldn’t ignore (both in him and myself!) and i knew i needed to return to my happiest state - being single and annoying online.

today, on the first day back of work, this motherfucker asks to talk to me afterwards and im like “yeah sure.” thinking that like we’re just gonna chat real quick in the parking lot. no. hes like “where can we meet.” and im like “idk starbucks i guess.” 

i’ve been keeping my distance from him because that’s what was best for ME. we literally haven’t spoken in 2 weeks. so i gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought he was just trying to catch up, be friendly. i rationalized that since we were only together about 5 months, then it wouldn’t be completely weird to start being friends now that 2 months have passed since the separation. 

besties....he wanted to know if we could get back together. 😠 i was like ?????????? and he was like “well, we spent the summers working on ourselves” (bro ur still not in therapy so i disagree), and then he was like “i feel like we broke up because i was having such a hard time at work and was going through a hard time and it reflected on our relationship.” and i was like uhhh. and so i said a metaphor i was like “us getting back together would be like trying to complete a puzzle when you’ve lost pieces in the vacuum.” and he goes “OH WELL, relationships have their ups and downs! we could still find those pieces.”

i legit wish someone was recording my face. i was in shock. like when we broke up, i did tell him i hoped we could be friends, i told him i hoped we could be in each other’s lives and that maybe (and it’s a big maybe) we could reconnect in the far future. (but, i remember when i said this, i was only saying it to be nice. which was a mistake since it led me to this whole conversation). 

ANYWAYS. to make a long story short. i told him No. and he was like “why i dont understand. you said you loved me. how could you love me and then not love me anymore. this is really hurting my self-worth. i dont understand. what changed??”

and i just...didn’t engage really. i wasn’t gonna list all the reasons. i already did that when we broke up and he demanded answers. i told him that i didn’t feel the connection anymore. and i already know im hurting his feelings AGAIN. eventually i just said “i’m happier single.” and he was like “oh? so i won’t see you dating someone in six months?” and i was like “probably not?? but idk?” he also brought up an old interaciton we had waaay back in march and tried to gaslight me by saying i got defensive during it, but i literally wrote that interaction down beat by beat so i remember how it went because it made me feel so uncomfortable and was my first serious red flag. >:( you cannot trick me! 

we managed to end the conversation and i stayed firm within my boundaries even tho he looked sad/was tearing up and kept asking me for reasons (idk why being unhappy in the relationship isn’t a reason enough for him??) a few hours after i got home, he texted me and was like “Was everything you said earlier true? No lying to save my feelings?” and i texted him back and was like “Yeah, it was all true.” idk how i could’ve been any clearer. i think he just dislikes hearing things he doesn’t want to hear. (omg also he brought up bell hooks--someone i introduced him to!--and was like “are you just chasing the next high?” and i was like “??? idk ??” )

my friends keep telling me he was emotionally manipulative, but it’s hard for me to see it. maybe in time i will be able to. but again--im just proud of myself for not “cowering” and changing my mind because i’ve got a person in front of me who i do care about --and who is sad--who i could make happy by doing what he wants.

but that is no life worth living. i live for myself. for my own happiness. and i was not happy in the relationship. you don’t need any other reason to leave-- if you’re unhappy, you can just go. it’s fine. i think that’ll be the big lesson i takeaway from this whole debacle. 

[angrylizardjacket]

my home has never felt this far {Roger Taylor}

Summary: im sad have fluffy phone call

A/N: 743 words. im very sad and this is short

----

"Hi Rog," soft voice, a phone call you start at three in the morning, the feel of unfamiliar leather seating in an unfamiliar room. The phone is cool in your hand, and you're trying to hide your bloodshot eyes from the rest of the hotel's lobby. The only other person is the clerk, looking rather uncomfortable and like he's trying to look at anything but you. You pick at the upholstery as Roger answers back, just as soft, quietly concerned. You're pretty sure you woke him up, but he doesn't seem annoyed. Your eyes are already hot from where you'd been crying earlier, but you can feel a fresh wave coming on.

He doesn't ask you why you're crying, though he can hear it through the phone. Her knows you well enough not to push. If you wanted to talk about it, you would, and right now you definitely don't.

Instead, you ask what he's been up to.

He's back in London, between tours, writing music and practically living in the studio. He tells you about his exploits on tours, partying with models, finding out about John's semi-shotgun wedding to Veronica right before the tour started. At that, you manage a watery laugh, and Roger takes pause.

It's been a long time since he'd heard you laugh, even as feebly as this. It's been a long time since he'd seen you in person. That being said, you'd spoken often over the phone, through letters, keeping your friendship strong as its ever been. He's been your best friend, and quiet keeper of your heart for almost as long as you've known him, not that he knew about the latter part. But that wasn't important; you'd never risk your friendship on some romantic flight of fancy. Roger wasn't interested in settling down, and you weren't interested in losing your best friend. But you've never been so grateful for him as you are now.

Tentatively, Roger starts telling you about Freddie's wardrobe malfunction in Florida, if only the hear you laugh again, following it with a story about Brian getting so drunk he started crying about hedgehogs. The sound of your laughter, no matter how weak, eased his heart.

After his second round of stories run dry, there's a lull, a pause, and he's not quite sure where to go. Both of you are quiet.

"Are you okay?" He asks finally, unable to help himself. Your lip quivers, and the tears you'd been managing to stave off come flooding forward.

"No," you admit, finally breaking, hunching in on yourself, "everything's fucked, everything's so fucked and I can't sleep and I -"

"Where are you?" He asks quickly, and you can hear him rummaging around his sheets, struggling to his feet.

"No, no Roger, it's fine -" he doesn't quite believe you for your sobs, but the rummaging stops.

"Dear," he says it pointedly, and you sniff roughly, rubbing angrily at your eyes, "where are you? I'll be there-"

"Its three in the morning," you try, but he counters with concern.

"So?"

"So... I just... tomorrow." You sniffle, trying to get your emotions in order, "I'll be okay tonight, I promise, I just," and you swallowed hard, "I just needed to hear your voice."

A pause. He murmurs your name like a prayer, a soft sigh, and your heart tightens in your chest.

"Can you tell me it's going to be okay?" You whispered.

"Of course its going to be okay," he assured without missing a beat, "I promise you're going to be okay."

"You mean it?"

"Absolutely." Silence follow, just for a moment, before he adds, "I wish I could be there. I wish I could give you a hug." There's tears stinging your eyes again.

"I miss you, Rog, I miss you so much," you sniffle, and he makes a gentle, fond sound.

"I miss you too, dear," he tells you sincerely, "are you sure you don't want me to come over?"

"Tomorrow," you reiterate, "hug tomorrow, please."

"Hug tomorrow," Roger confirms sincerely, "I look forward to it." He paused and added, "are you sure you're going to be okay tonight?"

"I promise; I have seeing you to look forward to," you give a soft, weak laugh, and Roger gives a fond hum.

"Alright, I look forward to seeing you too; I love you." And at his familiar words, something in your chest eased, let yourself breath for a moment.

"Love you too, Rog."

[elvencantation]

aladdin 2019 liveblog

OMG THE WAY THEY GOT HIM TO SING ARABIAN NIGHTS WORKED SO WELL. also the kids are adorable. and the ship

though some of the lyric changes are… a bit too on the nose

too cute first meeting

PARKOUR

oh yes thank you for the songs give me hope. i didn’t even see mulan but i watched enough reviews that i know i dont rly wanna

jafar aint creepy enough. sorry he just isn’t

ahhh his place is so cool! with the hidden stairs and stuff. love shit like that

its not like what? were you planning to give it back?  OH it was abu that tracks

OH MY GOD IVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO HER DRESSES

also this prince is dressed so badly. wow. so gaudy

why did they add him hes so annoying go away boy

HEY STOP BEING A DICK TO JASMINE JAFAR NOBODY LIKES U ALSO UR OUTFIT IS STUPID

YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO SPEAK TO HER

can we just let rajah eat him pls

omg jasmine trying to get dahlia to pretend she’s the princess. i mean, im not sure if i quite felt the need to include her character, especially as someone trying to convince jasmine to let go of her well meaning ambition and get married

“why are you being weird” omg i love her

jasmine looks so pleased with herself while dahlia is acting so weird

just stop talking dahlia nobody expect u to talk to him just be haughty

DONT GET COCKY DUMBASS OH MY GOD

idk how i feel about jafar apparently being ‘a common thief’ once upon a time, ‘just like aladdin’. like for all we know u stole the hair thingy with magic. we know u a manipulative fuck

also like- how are we gonna handle the her not recognizing him when he’s in prince getup? like, she recognized him in weird servant getup

wait since when was the cave a lion? i thought it was a tiger…

i like how abu smacks him to get him out of gem trance XD

ok so abu already touched a bunch of treasure. and nothing happened. uhhh what

omg the carpet is adorable yes thank you

and aldadin is stepping all over the treasure. i am confusion

ooooo pretty lava!!!

omg its time for the genie!! tho i do wish they hadn’t made him literally blue. ah well. excited to see what will smith can make of it. nobody can top robin williams, but there have been other genies. there will be more (yes i mean broadway. tho i haven’t seen any broadway aladdin shows. i do love their blue outfits for the genie)

also damn i love genie’s gold tattoo/ornament thingys under the cuffs on his arms. want some for myself 

WHAT DID U DO TO ABU THATS RUDE

oh my god poor abu having to be the accompaniment. pls tell me u replace him with an orchestra genie, u rly do need one for this song

ok that was short

there we go!

oh this is fun!!!

baklava is magic and should be respected as such

ok the puppet thing is a bit creepy tho i do think they did that in the original as well

uhhh can we nix the rap pls

oh man i love his pants!!

omg the splits i cant

DONT THINK I DIDNT SEE THIS

oh ofc its genie magic that makes him unrecognizable. i mean, lying about his identity was half the plot of the movie but still im a bit sad

omg its time for the big entrance omg

oh god genie why the hat thats bigger than ur body

omg dalia’s approving little expression that was adorable

poor boy looks so uncomfortable

why is it so important that he has so many animals? is that the only way to show wealth? or just the flashiest?

“so yummy boy”???!??! i cant im laughing so hard rn

oh my god this is gonna be so awkward when he has to talk to actual royalty tho not looking forward to the second hand embarrassment

aww i do miss genie turning into weird TV personalities when talking about the animals tho

yuppp i knew it was gonna be this awkward

i cannot do this i have to turn off the volume or i will flee this tab and try to skip this scene when i come back

ok i had to scroll down, and still even reading the subtitles made me embarrassed. why am i like this

MY GOD HER PEACOCK OUTFIT IS SO BEAUTIFUL

WHY ARE YOU MAKING HIM DANCE LIKE THIS MY SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT CANT HANDLE IT GENIE

ok finally he kinda got the hang of it. dont be fanciful genie just copy the other guys pls

bit of a weird dance tho…

oh nooo genie getting fanciful

i went from, oh this is cute to, oh no pls stop

ok now that ppl are clapping i feel less awkward. brain why u gotta do this to me. but also u rly dont have to have aladdin breakdance

ok he jumped on the fountain and this stated going back into ridiculous and why territory

and jasmine ran away. cant blame her. it makes him look kinda like an attention seeking person

awwww dalia’s little ‘excuse me for a moment’ i kinda expected her to scream but this was also cute

my god her room is so pretty. and the moment with the apples was adorable

I AM NOT TEARING UP AT A WHOLE NEW WORLD I AM NOT. I JUST HAVENT WATCHED ANY VERSION OF ALADDIN IN A LONG TIME

i just REALLY LOVE THIS SONG OK IDK WHY IM CRYING. AND THEYRE ADORABLE HELP

and the HARMONIES IVE ALWAYS LOVED THEM!!!

ughhhh he had a moment where he could’ve come clean

oh i love a dramatic near death experience

omg yes destroy the staff how lovely and yes dramatic. can u tell i like some good drama. not the weird relationship kind

ur not the same on the inside. not quite

ARE YOU KIDDING ME U DIDNT NOTICE SOMEONE STEALING FROM U

see this is what he meant by u changing. u can never forget ur past

oh i love the dark instrumental version of ‘never had a friend like me’. also the pretty sparkly magic. always love some good aesthetic cgi

OMG I KNOW THIS IS THE MOMENT FOR HER SONG AND I CANNOT WAIT OMGOGMG

OH MY GOD YES EVEN THO IM SAD NOBODY GOT TO HEAR HER SONG I DO LOVE THIS!! YES YOU KNOW ALL THESE PEOPLE YOU CARE YOU KNOW THEIR NAMES AND THEIR STORIES AND THAT MATTERS

OMG HER BABA IS SO PROUD OF HER AAAAAAA

oh that was a lovely moment. too bad jafar is a massive prick

oh this is interesting! i love a dramatic disappearance. poor guy. drowning, hypothermia, fun stuff to do within a day

love some ice parkour!

👀

WAIT U CANT KILL THE CARPET ITS AN ANIMATE OBJECT WTF THATS RUDE

the decent part of me is glad they didn’t put jasmine in a slave leia type outfit, but the gay part of me is a bit disappointed…

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS PART YES YOU MANIPULATE HIM U CLEVER BOY SLYTHERIN WOULD BE PROUD OF U. EVEN IF U DO HAVE A GRYFFINDOR HEART

omg the dark little smirk on aladdin’s face. u HAVE to admit that was hot

just loOK AT IT I HAD TO GIF IT I HAD NO CHOICE

GET YOUR OWN JAMS. that was cute

“also i want children” 😂

WAIT WAIT HOW DID I NOT PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER OMG THIS IS ADORABLE

PLS TELL ME SHE GOES TO HIS SECRET LITTLE TOWER PLACE

omg this is hilarious “stop thief, your sultan commands it” I CANNOT 😂

DID HE SERIOUSLY GET MARRIED WITHOUT EVEN A CHANGE OF OUTFIT. ah ok sorry shouldn’t have spoken so soon THEY BOTH LOOK STUNNING GOD THE OUTFITS IN THIS MOVIE WERE FUCKING GORGEOUS

i also dont mind the more “feminist” storyline they gave jasmine. it worked

[yourfavgoodgirl]

Day 1:Happy New Year! Any hopes for the new year? (TC or non TC related?)

i hope to stay in contact with him, and i hope to see him irl again (corona please)

Day 2: Do you have any nicknames/codenames that you call your TC? Do they have any they call you?

my nickname for him is “the most beautiful handsome gorgeous man in the entire world” but just in my head

Day 3: Describe the moment you knew they were more than just another teacher.

when he gave me some ✨attention✨ and just kinda noticed something about me that most people don’t

Day 5: What’s the age gap? Did you ever think you would fall for someone that much older? Are you comfortable with the age gap?

24-25 years and like i appreciate men of all ages (okay that sounded weird i swear i’m not a catholic priest) so i’m not surprised but i didn’t really think about it you know?? am i making sense. but i’m okay but i wish it was smaller just so there would be a bigger chance

Day 6: Describe the first time you saw/met them. How did you meet? What was it like? Were you automatically attracted or did it take some time?

i honestly don’t remember. i didn’t really pay much attention to him at first, i mean not saying i don’t appreciate some good looks on a man but all of my crushes are personality first looks second.

Day 7: Do you plan on keeping contact with your TC after graduation? How do you plan on doing it? If you’re graduated, have you kept in contact? How have you managed that?

honestly i don’t knowwwwwwwww i graduated and i’ve spoken to him once i’m too scared to message him because i feel like i’m bothering him and i don’t want to look like a dumb schoolgirl with a desperate crush even though that is 100% what i am

Day 8: Is there something that tends to remind you of them? Like a sport, food, animal, etc…?

he loves cats. and some songs. and also everything

Day 9: Do you have a memory you are particularly fond of with your TC? Any cute stories?

i really wanna say but it’s too specific. but any praise he’s given me i just store in my brain forever and replay

Day 10: Have you ever touched your TC? Like a hug or a brush of the hand?

i just realised i haven’t lolzzzzzzzz this doesn’t bother me at all ha h a

Day 11: How often do you talk to them? Do you talk to them outside of school?

nope because i am dumb and scared and have no social skills

Day 12: Have you ever had any previous TC’s? What were they like?

nopeee my love is for this stupid teacher only

Day 13: If it were to happen, how do you imagine the perfect kiss going down with your TC? If by chance you have kissed your TC, how did it happen?

WHO HAS KISSED THEIR TC AND IS STILL ON TUMBLR ANSWERING QUESTIONS if it wasn’t obvious no it has not happened to me but i would be in his house on his bed and he’ll just kiss me it dosen’t have to be long but just the kind that says i love you without any words aaaaaaa i’m so alone

Day 14: Do you truly believe there is a chance that they’re interested in you? Has anyone else pointed out that maybe you’re special to you’re TC?

okay so i don’t know. like obviously if you ask me to bet a million dollars on wether he likes me i’ll say he doesn’t. but when it’s 3am and i’m in my bed i think what if. WHAT IF.

Day 15: Have you ever gotten them a gift? If so, what was it?

yes and just food unfortunately. i wish i gave more but it would be weird and i’m trying not to be even more obvious about my crush

Day 17: If you had to pick one feature about them, physical or personality, what would be your favorite?

okay so i saw this tiktok about like people always like the cocky anime characters with the skills to back it up and i just thought of him instantly (not that he’s an anime character). but his dumb cocky and confident attitude is just everything i want and more

Day 18: Do you know of anything they do outside of work? What do they enjoy doing in their free time?

he plays the guitar and sings <3

Day 19: What goes on for you when you see them? How does your body react?

i will be surprised and look away. i can’t keep eye contact with him. and sometimes i just don’t know what to do and i’ll just ignore him. IM SO DUMB WHY AM I LIKE THIS

Day 20: What have you done, or what would you do, to spend more time with them? Join a club/sport they’re in charge of? Sign up for an extra class they teach?

i would do anything that won’t give my crush away. but like i’m so lazy. i avoid doing anything. people are already suspicious and i really don’t want my crush to be known (unless it’s on tumblr <3)

Day 21: How often do you dream about them? What do the dreams usually consist of?

my dreams are so weird. for me i’ll go though phases of no dreams and just ten a day (i nap a lot). i will say about a third of my dreams involve him but not in a romantic way, unless you call me desperately trying to talk to him romantic.

Day 22: What’s a little detail you’ve noticed about them that you aren’t even sure they’re aware of? Do the run their hand through their hair often? Do they subconsciously bite their lip?

i don’t know if this counts but i often stare at him from afar (yes i’m a stalker what about it) and he walks with his chest puffed and head high. like really really really confidently. i miss trying to catch glimpses of him at school </3

Day 23: If they weren’t a teacher, what do you think they should be?

my husband <3 i think he can hold two jobs well, he’s a great multitasker

Day 24: Do you think other people in your school may have feelings towards them too? Why?

yes, because he is the most perfect being (human or otherwise) like, ever

Day 25: What are their classes like? Do they talk a lot? Is it mostly independent work? Are there a lot of notes?

i miss the discussions

Day 26: How would you describe their personality?

dumb. stupid. annoying.

Day 27: What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever worn?

omg I WANT TO SAY THIS BUT I CANT UGH THE HORROR

Day 28: What’s something you don’t quite fancy about them? A quirk you find odd? A physical trait that you aren’t a fan of?

sometimes he can be surprisingly by the book. i am kinda a rebel (yes it’s hard being so cool) so that rubs me the wrong way but sometimes i break rules or make another teacher mad and he’ll just laugh and smile and ugh i love him

Day 29: How long have you had a crush on them?

jesus christ i just realised it’s already my fourth year pining over this man. someone help

Day 30: Write a poem (short or long) about your TC.

y’all really overestimating my literary skills. but here’s a haiku

please i’m so sad

all because of this dumb man

i want to kiss him

Day 31: Do you have anyone in your life who knows about your TC? Anyone you can talk to?

i told a friend that i thought he’s cute but she totally does not get the extent of it and aaaa there’s another girl that’s totally onto me but i’m not really her friend and she’s the type who can’t keep her mouth shut so