#look i didn't bring up bagged milk aren't you proud of me all??

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph!

Love you ♥️

Can you and your followers maybe help me out? I'm writing a story where John is Canadian, what are some Canadian dishes that he'd be easily scandalised over if done wrong? You know, in this joking way like when we butcher some Italian dishes for example and you get an Italian village throwing pitchforks (all jokes fam)

I think poutine is Canadian? What are some do's and don'ts?

Thank you :3

Hey Nonny!

AHHH what a fun question! Ahhhhh, funnily enough, a lot of our cuisine is very American, BUT the one I was going to suggest WAS the poutine hahahah. It’s legit one of my FAVE foods, and my city has a Poutine Fest every summer when we’re not in a pandemic, LOL, and it’s just the best thing ever.

It’s the one that is ALWAYS make or break for me personally! It differs by region and nowadays, because of the ease of “buy everything in a can” for food, but a poutine can be greatly affected by what type of the three main ingredients you use.

A proper “original” Canadian poutine (pron. POO-TEHN) is made with fresh potatoes skin-on, gravy made from beef broth (dark brown, THICK gravy... this REALLY REALLY matters), and cheese curds (NOT shredded or chopped up blocks of cheese). BUT because not everyone’s tummies can tolerate ALL THAT HARD TO DIGEST FAT AND DAIRY, obviously these days, any poutine is good, as long as it’s got good fries, hahah. Poutine Fest has trucks that sell “hamburger” poutine and “mac and cheese” poutines (I’ve had both, and they are delicious), so really, it’s all about what you like. But yeah, IF you can eat cheese, get it with curds.... it’s NOT the same without the curds. I know many Canadians judge a poutine by the curds you have in them. It’s because they melt and get SUPER stretchy, which is why it’s fun!! This website here, actually, has a pretty good rundown of how a good Canadian poutine should be made :)

These days I make my poutines with bagged frozen fries, St. Albert’s Cheese Curds (one of the local cheese farms that sells in-store), and St. Hubert canned Poutine gravy (very subpar, but it’s the best of the canned gravies for poutine), topped with bacon bits, green onions, and a dash of salt. TOTALLY not an every day snack, but it’s nice to treat myself once in awhile. Really though, there isn’t a RIGHT and WRONG way to make poutines, but I CAN say that Americans make very.... subpar poutines. Except New York Fries. Theirs is really good.

Ah, hmm, what else? Timbits (doughnut holes) are the perfect snack. Popular “group” snack, since you can order them in Party Packs. 

Maple syrup, very important! The best syrup comes from sugar farms, costs a lot, but SO worth it. There’s a BIG difference between pure maple syrup and whatever fructose crap sold in bottles on the store shelf. Canadians have “maple season” from February to April where you go to a sugar shack (cabane à sucre), pour hot maple syrup onto the snow to make maple taffy / candy and eat it. Best thing ever. Every Canadian kid who grew up in Northern Ontario of my generation has gone to at least ONE during a school trip.

And another one I am REALLY fond of and miss, are Persian Buns. It’s COMPLETELY a local thing in Thunder Bay where I grew up, and when I was a kid, you made sure you had money to buy a Persian on Persian Day at school lest you look like a LOSER. It’s literally a cinnamon sweet roll with strawberry sugar icing on it. They were the best, and I miss them so much.

AHHH sorry, I got super nostalgic there. That last one is completely not an all-Canadian thing, but it’s very VERY localized.

OH!! BEAVERTAILS. Americans call them Bear Claws / Paws, we call them BeaverTails, they taste better, and they’re shaped like a beaver tail, LOL. Staple of Canadian ice skating winters on the Rideau Canal. We actually have stands here where I live all year round, but yeah, people go NUTS for them. It’s literally a pastry with cinnamon sugar, sometimes with additional toppings (see the link above) and they’re HUGE, like the length of your forearm and about an inch thick.

OH!! A Tourtière (pron. TOUR-TEE-AIR, but faster and roll the ‘R’ because French people talk fast and all our R’s are rolled LOL), which is a meat pie made with beef and pork. Some Québecois will not be happy if you make them wrong, LOL. Traditional French dish my family has on Christmas Eve. 

OH. NANAIMO BARS. One wrong mess up in a recipe will ruin them. Trust me, I did this once, EEEEEE.

Montréal Style Bagels. The best bagels you will ever get, tastes like heaven, that’s why they’re shaped like halos.

OH! And Canadians are VERY VERY proud of our craft domestic LOCAL beers. Wherever John lives in your story, look up the local brewery, because that shit is important to some Canadians, and it will make the story more believable. Same goes for wines, especially if your John is from the Niagara region. They’re popular for their wineries and wine tours. And Canadian beer is better, and I don’t even like beer LOL.

Hee hee! I was just scrolling to see if there’s any other I have a comment on, and I actually found this great article about Canadian things you HAVE to try, so yeah, these are all staples of Canadiana! <3

Food Network Canada also has some here too! I have lots to say about all of them minus the seafood and the Caesar, but yeah, all of it is delicious, and just makes me proud to be a Canadian! <3 

AND finally, some a lot of the best-known Canadian cuisine comes from the French Canadians and from our First Nations People [see here for some make-at-home recipes] (bannock bread is AMAZING!!), so have a look see at that too – these are the cultures I grew up with and currently live around, so they’re the ones I’m most familiar with. I know that there’s regional food out west, in the Territories, and out east that I’m unfamiliar with, but do some research on Canadian food, it’s all very unique and amazing.

As I said, a lot of Canada has a lot of “local” things, so many of us make things in our own ways, and we’re pretty easy going about it all, because it’s food and we love food. But yeah, I think poutines are the biggest one. Most Canadians who love poutine will tell you every other poutine EXCEPT a French Canadian poutine is inferior, LOL. 

If any of my fellow Canadians have anything local to their region to share, or has some words about poutine because it is very divisive, please share LOL.

This was such a joy to write, and now I want Persians. :D