So I went on the @ficwritersretreat this past weekend, and I just wanted to write a short note thanking EVERYONE there for their kindness and acceptance of my presence there even if I didn't write too much! I had SO much fun, and it was SO AMAZING putting faces to usernames I adore and admire and was so humbled by the love given to me in return. I definitely want to go back, though I don't think I'll be able to next year (due to the nature of my job, it's probable that next year won't happen), I'll be making a return in the future.
Seriously, it's been SO LONG since I've been able to drop my masks in real life and just BE ME, let myself be weird and silly, and draw without people constantly over my shoulder criticizing what I'm working on, and let me be silly when I DID write.
Thank you so much for the sense of community, and thank you @hubblegleeflower for organizing such a wonderful event. It was amazing. Thank you for making me feel so loved and wanted when I'm usually not.
Today marked a new chapter in my life. It changed what I was used to for the unknown. Throwing me back into the world like a new born, helpless and alone. And yet I smile knowing deep down this held an exciting aura to it.
Today left a sour taste on my tongue. All the words unsaid feeling like acid burning away the flesh. All the people I'll miss and the place I once called home. Yet, these new memroies waiting to be made invade my senses like the sweet smell of honey.
Today is a sad day. As I leave my past in changed for my future. But today is also a happy day. As I leave all the bad for the better.
Today is so bittersweet. Something I've longed for, but also hoped would never come.
A bittersweet will stay today, for the rest of my life.
i love pre t/e voices. i love trans bodies not seen as “standard” to their gender. i love people dressing like a girl/boy depending on the day. i love fat trans people. i love femme trans men. i love masc trans women. i love neo pronouns and all the cool pronouns you can use that aren’t “she/he/they”. i love people with visible disabilities. i love people with invisible disabilities. i love people who wear cat/dog ears in public. i love when people bark in public in a genuine way.
i love people who express themselves.
i love people who are seen as “cringe” and “abnormal”
and i love you, whoever you are, this is a reminder that you deserve respect and accommodations, just like everyone else. everyone deserves to live their best life. :))
I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with pharmacy bullshit with my ketamine. I can get it today after 4pm. Now I can take my last pill and not need my cane today. I haven't had to use my cane in 6 months because of ketamine and that makes me so happy.
Thank you guys all so much for the birthday wishes!! I just got home from a long day and I am very tired so I'll be replying to them for posting tomorrow <3 <3 <3
And THANK YOU SO MUCH to the two Lovelies who got me Ko-Fis! <3
ALSO AS AN ASIDE!! SONIC 3 TRAILER CAME OUT TODAY WHAT A GREAT BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM PARAMOUNT!!! :D IT LOOKS SO GOOD!!!!!!
So friggen happy to be friends with so many nice people, absolutely love all my mutuals <3
@hildegardladyofbones
@worm-lungs
@dashadowgirl
@shadydays3
@epicsadman
@planetdisastrous
@outlying-hyppocrate
@thenumber2bozo
@mistydreamfractals333
@toesuckler
@fairie-punk
@trashcan-full-of-life
I love you guys so much <3 thank you for being so kind to me, I never thought I’d connect with so many interesting, creative, wonderful ppl until I got on tumblr.
U guys r seriously the highlight of my bad days and I’ll always be grateful for every little interaction we have
I wish I could say I loved you the same. I wish I could say I'm sorry.
I wish more than anything that things would've been a little different, I wish I could take away your worries.
But the truth is that none of it is real. The truth hurts.
The truths tells you I lied and played you and I know that is not what you want to hear.
But out of all those made up moments we spent, I was always truthful about one thing.
No matter what happens in this life or the next, I will always find my way to you and protect you, for you cannot protect yourself.
Maybe that is why you fell in love with me. Maybe that is why you think of us as more. Maybe that is why its easier for me to lie to myself and say that I didnt even feel remorse
And when you think back on the time we had. I hope you see all my actions and words for what they were, and not what you wanted them to be.
If we are to meet in another life, I hope the ending is different.
-M