#loser detective dog my beloved

[androgymess]

oddly specific moodboard for rami x]

[gr3y-plays-ttrpgs]

omg your failgirl pi is in city of mists that’s the perfect system for it! tell me about them?

:DDDD yes!!!! city of mist my beloved

okay so your average loser private detective woman. once-successful but couldn't really hold onto it, raised religious, barely speaks to her family anymore, recovered alcoholic, got dumped by her gf, mostly sticks to lower-profile safer cases but can't resist any opportunity to help someone, has a long-suffering assistant, chainsmokes constantly.

one day, she got in too deep or messed with the wrong people or something and died, except she woke up afterwards with complete amnesia and weird powers, aka awoken with the rift of the church grim (a sort of guardian spirit in the shape of a dog)

now she's even more of a loser. looks dead and awful constantly, and she forgot her address so she sleeps at the office and has been wearing the same clothes for several weeks. her physical form just sort of dissolves into smoke a little occasionally, which is helpful when getting through narrow spaces or getting shot, but didn't protect her from losing two fingers. she gets mostly controlled visions of future potential deaths or what people saw before they died, which are useful for information and making her enemies really uncomfortable. she has built-in pathetic fallacy as her powers make the weather awful anytime she's in a stressful situation. one of the other party members is her ex, but she doesn't know because she forgot and her ex hasn't told her. she's consumed exclusively black coffee since her death.

i could keep yapping for ages but this post is already too long, here's her playlist:

[markedbyindecision]

Psych 15th Anniversary Celebration

Day 5: favorite episode(s)

sorry in advance this got way too long

S1E11: “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops He’s Dead!”

When Shawn said “The question is, what kind of loser thinks getting a tan is going to help him score a woman?” and on cue, Henry walked out of a booth at the tanning salon

the entire part when they all went undercover speed-dating was comedy gold

Lassiter and Juliet being utterly not attracted to each other and the lady trying to get Lassie to compliment Jules lmao

the way Juliet looked at Shawn when they were on their date and how Shawn was upset when their time had run out <333333

jealous Shawn at the bowling alley telling Jules’ date that he was going to face rejection soon

also the song, Steady As She Goes, was so good it’s been stuck in my head ever since

Gus having to pretend Henry’s house was his PLEASE that scene was so funny and then Henry walking in because his pot roast was burning was hilarious

Shawn saying he copied Jules’ questionnaire... It could be that he wanted to do what Juliet wanted, to not make things awkward, so he lied, or maybe he just figured she didn’t feel the same way about him

Either way, many thoughts head full i love this ep so much

S3E7: “Talk Derby to Me”

Juliet going undercover <33333

that one scene where Gus is wearing the same outfit as the mannequin

i need to talk about the couples skate scene because that was insane,,,

Gus being the announcer we love a wingman

the look that Jules gives him when she realizes what he’s planning oh my god

“no touching” *proceeds to keep their hands as close as physically possible without touching*

S3E8: “Gus Walks Into a Bank”

When Shawn has to be held back from going into the bank for Gus— that’s love right there

again: jealous Shawn (and him arguing with Juliet over the earpieces ahdkfjfhdhjd)

Shawn saving Phil from the sniper only to find everyone else in the bank glaring at him

Shawn making Luntz go in the sewers????? Bye

Juliet showing up at the Psych office after-hours and Shawn showing her the hot dog contraption and then them going to eat together <33333

S4E6: “Bollywood Homicide”

Abigail my beloved

idk i just really liked the whole plot with curses and family betrayal and stuff

“She’s not just anyone” I’m going to jump out of the window /positive

S4E9: “Shawn Takes a Shot in the Dark”

Shawn being really smart and resourceful this whole episode even while he’s in a ton of pain >>>>>>

like remembering to kick out the taillight and how to lose his attackers while running in the woods

and then being able to hide hints about where he is in his phone call

seeing Henry be worried about Shawn was nice since he’s usually a negative force and we got to see that he really does care

Lassiter too, like with him referring to Shawn as “Shawn” instead of “Spencer”

phone call. i am going feral.

SHE WAS ABOUT TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” AND HE CUT HER OFF

the confusion on Jules’ face after hearing “Goodbye, Abigail”. absolutely devastating i will never recover

Shawn arguing with everyone about whose car to jump on

LASSIE CALLING SHAWN “DETECTIVE” oh my god

S4E13: “Death is in the Air”

the virus plot was very interesting and different from the usual murder stuff

Shawn being absolutely desperate for the cure when Juliet gets it >>>>>>>>

Lassiter interrupting right as Shawn was about to confess,,,,,, the writers were so cruel for that

But also Lassie being really happy that Juliet was ok was super cute

S4E16: “Mr Yin Presents…”

the whole Yin/Yang trilogy was especially good tbh

i really liked the higher stakes and tension in this one

Yin making Shawn choose between Abigail and Juliet…he’d make a great villain

Henry working together with Shawn was nice to see and him talking casually to Abigail as if she wasn’t about to drown was really sweet

just…Abigail. i loved her as a character and i think Psych pulled off the love triangle really well

All the emotional moments (Mary dying, Juliet being traumatized, Abigail breaking up with Shawn) were just really well-executed

S5E16: “Yang 3 in 2D”

absolutely loved Allison, she’s one of my favorite side characters

Gus being worried about if the needle was hygienic even as he was about to die, and him and Shawn arguing about who should die first was a nice touch of humor during that scene

again: high-stakes stuff

Gus’ speech to Shawn <33333 i’m soft

Juliet and Yang as reluctant allies

also Yang in general because i love her too

Yang teasing Juliet about Shawn

Juliet fighting Allison >>>>>>>>>>>

Lassie seeing Shawn and Juliet kiss

S6E9: “Neil Simon’s Lover’s Retreat”

idk i just really liked the plot and Barbie and Clive

Shawn being bad at normal relationship stuff and being uninterested in spending time with other adults is such a mood

love love love the Gus & Henry & Lassiter interaction since it’s one that hasn’t been explored before

Henry being the first one to get a date and his date turning out to be…a bit much was hilarious

GUS FINDING OUT THAT SHAWN WANTED TO PROPOSE. internally screaming

S7E2: “Juliet Takes a Luvvah”

Shawn almost blowing the operation and Lassiter and him having to pretend to make out LOL

jealous Shawn

Juliet being clever and tricking Mike and also being able to take him down before everyone else arrives,,,, we love a girl who doesn’t need to be saved

[agentsokka]

Davekat Fic Recs [P2]

Continuation of my Davekat fic rec list from ye old 2016. An absolute metric shit ton of Damn Good Fics™ have dropped since then, and it’s criminal I haven’t updated that original list in so long. 

As per usual with these things, you won’t find much luck here with smut content. Some stories feature scenes, but for the most part, the fics themselves aren’t exclusively about such.

Cheers!

[Oneshots]

English is Full of Really Shitty Metaphors: You knew you probably shouldn't stay on a planet mostly inhabited by trolls once you finished your adult pupation and your blood color became more apparent. You also knew that you should learn a couple of other languages so that your weren't floundering around like an idiot when you eventually did move. Talking to random aliens on the internet seemed like a really good way to practice.

Fatalistic Humor, or, Jokes to Make Post-Mortem: ‘Head over heels’ is an appropriate turn of phrase because falling in love is exactly like throwing yourself down an endless staircase of inconvenient emotion.

i’m at the combination dunkin donuts & urgent care: Karkat Vantas is convinced beyond a doubt that his neighbor is some variety of murderer, until they actually meet in person. Highlights include blood at the laundromat, Dave's weird obsession with candles, and a box of shitty swords.

In Which a Loser is Sick: IN WHICH A LOSER IS SICK AND TRIES TO DENY IT, A TROLL IS ALSO A LOSER AND TRIES TO DENY IT, PISSING PANTS IS DISCUSSED IN THE SAME LINE OF CONVERSATION AS CALMING DOWN, VRISKA IS MENTIONED BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE IS, SOUP IS MADE AND SUBSEQUENTLY IGNORED, AND AN ACT OF AFFECTION IS REPAID BY THE WEAKENING OF AN IMMUNE SYSTEM. Dave gets sick and Karkat takes care of him.

Pretty Friggin’ MATRIMONIAL: Karkat is planning the proposal to end all proposals, but a clueless Dave has plans of his own.

Rumination: Dave and Karkat do some thinking, talking, kissing, and cuddling. Not necessarily in that order.

Self Sabotage and Other Symptoms of a Damaged Soul: Ok so everyone knows Dave and Dirk had a long amazing talk that presumably ended with Dave asking him for advice on the Being Not Straight stuff. My problem is, Dave also spent three years with his gloriously gay twin sister on a fucking space rock while he was right in the middle of coming to terms with all this stuff. So I wrote this mostly to reconcile the gap I think exists there, with a bunch of other Dave centric stuff thrown in with it.

Shitty Punchlines are the Purest Form of Self-Deprecation: Laying somewhere solidly post-credits and wondering, when do we start feeling like winners? Or is that not part of the package? Where's our fucking GameFAQs guide to navigating these stupid first steps into an eternity processing whatever the FUCK just happened, here? Going through that door was supposed to fix everything. Wasn't it? What's it going to take to fix ourselves?

Sleepwalk: Dave has unfortunate nocturnal habits. Karkat handles them better than anyone might've expected.

Start at the Beginning: Don't stop until eternity. And even then. (Davekat, meteor to can land to earth c and on. Happy anniversary.)

Sweatertown - Population: Two: Dave's cape gets hijacked, but Karkat knows what to do about it.

Tested: Dave and Karkat want to escape Aperture Science Laboratories.

That Cultural Divide: “Dave,” says Karkat neutrally, “why are they beating him up?” And your mouth runs dry.

Valentine’s Day: Valentine's Day through the three years on the meteor.

What to do When Your Boyfriend is Too Hot: Moving to a new universe and a new paradigm brings a lot of changes. And Dave kind of likes the way things were before, back on the Meteor, when he had Karkat all to himself and didn't spend sleepless nights waiting for the shoe to fall.

[Multichap]

About a Time I Failed: A doomed timeline AU. Instead of trolling John, Karkat finds himself scrolling through Dave's entire timeline. He is horrified by what he finds, and ends up in a pseudo-friendship with somewhat reluctant Dave. The story spans the rest of this timeline- Dave and Karkat's budding internet romance, the beta kids becoming friends, the start of SBURB, and, eventually, all of them realizing that Dave and Karkat's diversion from the Alpha Timeline has doomed them all. [Incomplete]

And it’s a Downward Spiral from There: One day, the whole world is going to acknowledge you as that one guy who finally made contact with aliens, but if you had known that getting drunk was going to lead up to abduction, a potential probing, and becoming the worst cult sacrifice this side of the galaxy, you probably would have just stayed at home. [Ongoing]

Astronomy in Reverse: Dave and Karkat are intergalactic pen pals, originally paired together for an extra credit school outreach project. Now, three years of correspondence later, they're best friends... and Karkat is finally immigrating to Earth. [Ongoing]

Breathe: Your name is Dave Strider, and there's nothing good about John and Rose changing schools. Without your twin sister and best friend, you've been left socially crippled at school, and barely coping at home. You're nearly certain that your mental health has been slowly spiraling downhill. You have no clue how you'll last the year to high school graduation. In all this, there's just one single ray of light. Your name is Dave Strider, and there's nothing good about John and Rose changing schools. Except for meeting Karkat Vantas. [Ongoing]

**The Calm is Terrifying When the Storm is All You’ve Known**: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist. Slow burn, shifting perspectives; romance really isn't the focus here but it'll still play a significant part; extra content warnings will be posted with each relevant chapter. [Ongoing] [y’all I’m serious read it it’ll water your crops and clear your chakras it’s Good Shit]

cold desert: Curiosity killed the cat. It probably just wasn't as good at being nosy as Dave is. [Ongoing]

Demon Eyes: In which Dave goes in to kill a demon for his bro, and things...don't exactly go as planned. [Ongoing]

Doc Scratch’s School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents: One minute you get a mysterious message from a man who types all in white like a jackass, and then the next thing you know you're being whisked away to a mystical school for kids with superpowers. If you weren't Dave fucking Strider, this sort of thing might bother you. [Ongoing]

Fortuitous: Dave and Karkat build a pillow fort and an unexpected chain of events occurs. [Ongoing]

If I Lose Everything in the Fire: The Kaiju - or Horrorterrors, as the trolls call them - first invaded Earth through a transdimensional rift at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Serving the Condesce in her quest to add Earth to the Alternian Empire, these monsters have terrorized humanity for twelve years. With the help of rebel troll factions and the adaptation of Alternian mind integration technology - The Drift - the Interspecies Defense Program has fought back as the last line of defense between the Kaiju and Earth. Karkat Vantas was a Jaeger pilot, fought for freedom in the Assault on the Breach that brought trolls to Earth. The loss of his co-pilot left him bitter and full of rage, but desperate times have lead to him being recruited to join the fray once more. Dave Strider is the best and brightest the Interspec program has to offer. Jaeger Restoration Project Head, highest simulation score on record, and younger brother of the Deputy Marshal - except he's not allowed in a Jaeger. Nobody expects them to be Drift Compatible. [Ongoing]

i'm sick of the things i do when i'm nervous: Two idiots poke at recovery with a stick. [Complete]

IN WHICH TWO SETS OF HUMAN BROTHERLY BONDS ARE ESTABLISHED, SEVERAL CORRUPT INSTITUTIONS OF MORALITY ARE IDEOLOGICALY DEMOLISHED, A DOG WITCH USES GOD POWERS TO MESS WITH EXQUISTELY CAREFULLY PLANNED INFRASTRUCTURE PLANS FOR SOME TREES LIKE A JACKASS--: --APPROXIMATELY A BILLION FUCKING CONSORTS AND CHESS PEOPLE, ALONG WITH A LOT OF USELESS GOD MODED LAYABOUTS ARE LEAD TO SUCCESSFUL COLONIZATION AND ESTABLISHMENT BY A SUCCESSFUL AND COMPASSIONATE LEADER, AND LONG-SUNDERED SOULMATES TORN APART BY FEAR AND DEVASTATING, MIND-BOGGLING STUPIDITY ARE REUNITED AT LAST BY A WISE, COMPASSIONATE BOSS / GUIDANCE FIGURE AND HIS LOYAL, EFFICIENT RIGHT-HAND MAN. THERE ARE AT LEAST THREE CRYING SCENES, TWO KISSES, AND OVER TEN TOTAL MINUTES OF REAL-TIME DESCRIPTION OF LONGING GAZES AND TENDER HUGS. 2 RESOUNDING ENDORSEMENTS OF BELOVED MUNICIPAL OFFICIALS. PRIMERS ON HUMAN/TROLL INTERSPECIES ROMANCE. THIS TEXT IS SUGGESTED SCHOOLFEEDING MATERIAL FOR ALL REASONABLY GROWN HATCHLINGS GAZING OUT ON THE BLIGHTED WASTELAND OF THEIR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS, WISHING THEY WERE DEAD, AND DESPERATELY YEARNING SOMEONE WOULD CLUE THEM IN ON JUST WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. RATED 8(17)+ AND UP. [Complete]

M.C. Escher that's My Favorite MC [It’s the End of the World as We Know It]: Dirk has a plan, when he's 18 he's going to take Dave and get him the fuck out of their terrible lives and start over. Until then being the barrier between Dave and Bro is his only job, his soulmate is just going to have to wait goddamnit. Dave has a plan, it involves getting internet famous and not going gay, easy right? Karkat also has a plan, to repeatedly track down his dumb as rocks soulmate and get him to actually talk to him for fuck's sake. [Ongoing]

Midnight’s Son: Dave Strider's father, a prominent detective, is tasked with infiltrating the Midnight Crew. Dave, worried about his father's safety, decides to do a little undercover work of his own and tries to befriend the boss's son, Karkat Vantas. [Complete]

Nothing Risked, Nothing Lost: Try as he might, Dave remembered nothing from the first four years of his life. There were three signs of imminent upheaval. First, the King of Derse disappeared without a trace. Second, the Queen of Prospit dropped dead. The third sign was the return of long-lost royalty. Not like any of this was Dave's concern. Not the war between Prospit and Derse, not the horrorterrors of the Furthest Ring, not the failings of some dumb monarchs. He was a nobody. Not like Rose, a bona fide Seer of Light. He wasn't sure why she wanted them to go to Derse, but he followed her, anyway. Like he always did. [Hiatus]

Off Court: Your name is Dave Strider, and a hospital wasn’t the setting you had imagined when you thought of seeing your twin again. Your name is Karkat Vantas, and having Terezi drag you around her weird human legislacerator training probably wasn’t the worst way you could spend the rest of your sweeps. And then you meet him. [Ongoing]

Palisades, Palisades: In your memories, you see Dave Strider, fourteen-years-old and made up of lean muscle and awkward limbs that he would still need a few years to grow into fully. Crows surround him, all cawing impatiently, vying for the chicken sandwich in his backpack. He swears loudly as he swings a stick at them, trying to get them to leave him the fuck alone. “Stupid feathery assholes,” he’d always complain once he finally shooed them away. You tear yourself out of the memory. You miss him, and you hate yourself for it. [Complete]

The Red Thing: The first time you ever realised there was something wrong with you, you were two sweeps old. You still remember it like it was just yesterday. You were at the playground in your then-community, which you had long since moved from. You’d been playing ‘tag’ with some of the other young trolls, but had tripped and scraped your knees. One of the other troll’s custodial guardians had noticed what had happened, and wandered over to make sure you were alright. You don’t think you’ll ever forget the look on her face when she picked you up and saw the mutant-red seeping through the knees of your pants. Things spiraled downhill quickly after that. You’d never quite understood what was happening when you were young, but you’d known that you’d become an outcast. Other trolls around you started to avoid you. Sometimes they’d throw things at you – food, stones, anything that might hurt you. Other times, they’d call you names – mistake, mutant, freak. You preferred when they tried to hurt you. At least then you could fight back. [Ongoing]

space cowboy disaster zone: Your name is Karkat Vantas, and these nights you eke out a quiet living on Antoren-3, helping around the Caltira Inn or scavenging out in the rust plains. It’s a simple life, and the only excitement you get for the most part is from the stories of other scavengers, a handful of bar fights, and the occasional salvageable wreck. Fresh wrecks, you’ve only seen a handful of times, and when John spots the telltale streak of light from a distant crash in the middle of a rust storm, you’re eager to get first dibs on whatever it might contain, the elements be damned. You don’t expect a survivor. [Ongoing]

Stepping Stones: A series of vignettes concerning the evolution of the relationship between Karkat Vantas and Dave Strider. Or, the troll title: IN WHICH DAVE AND KARKAT DISCUSS THE VARIOUS DIFFERENCES BETWEEN HUMAN AND TROLL GENITALS, THERE IS AN AWKWARD CONFESSION OF EMOTIONS, DAVE AND DIRK FINISH THEIR CONVERSATION ON THE ROOFTOP, DAVE GETS SOME ADVICE FROM A FEW OF THE LADIES IN HIS LIFE, AND THERE IS A SMUTTY EPILOGUE. [Complete]

The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Dave was silent. YES. YOU. The voice answered him before he even had a chance to speak up and voice his confusion or curiosity with a lack of delicacy only a child was capable of. It had a harsh way of speaking, brash enough to be rude and so loud the sound of his voice practically echoed off his skull. In it he could feel the rich, crimson flow of blood, the drip, drip, of molten lava degrading stone so ancient not even the gods of old would have lived to see it form. A being so old, so vast, that even to speak his name would grant one with immeasurable power. It made him shudder, little hands clenching into fists against rough stone. HUMAN CHILD. In which Dave is alone and Dragons exist. Shenanigans ensue. [Ongoing]

Stow Away: Calm and collected, that's Dave Strider. The docking station around him is chaotic and loud but he is like ice, cool and clear. None of that is true of course, but nobody is looking closely enough to notice the way his hands shake and his eyes dart around underneath the opaque plastic of his vintage sunglasses. Dave Strider sneaks on board an Alternian ship in an attempt to flee his shitty situation on Earth. This is the first of many questionable decisions. [Complete]

Time Displacement: Side A: After the events of the game, Dave wakes up in a universe that is familiarly unfamiliar. Sburb didn't happen, all their guardians are alive, and Bro is...different. [Ongoing]

Transcend: Dave doesn't get troll romance, but that's okay because Karkat is bad at it anyway. A journey through all four quadrants and a bit more. [Complete]

[aftgficlibrary]

Staff Favourites

The top five fics/series of the staff. We hope you love them as much as we do! 

Scout:

at the edge of what was by BurningFairytales for SHCombatalade (M | 8,973 | 1/1)

He flips Neil’s phone open and scrolls through the call history. It’s not a long list; his own name is at the bottom, then there’s a call from Nicky one from Dan. There’s an outgoing call from Neil’s phone to Andrew’s – that day they went to Atlanta – and one to a number that isn’t saved but that Andrew recognises as Bee’s.

And then there’s a call from an unknown number, no more than an hour ago.

He wants to call it. He wants to call it and demand where Neil is, wants to find out whoever the number belongs to and bash their head into a wall, break every bone in their body until Neil is back with them.

/Graphic Depictions Of Violence

you say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one. by Idnis (M | 58,350 | 29/29)

Neil Josten wouldn’t say his life was very magical. His dreams on the other hand.

They always seem too real.

And then there's the fact that he finds himself returning to one person's dreams.

Part 1 of you say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one

loving you is muscle memory by Talls (T | 1,452 | 1/1)

Neil has temporary amnesia, and Andrew is disconcertingly attractive. This is especially disconcerting because Neil was pretty sure he didn't swing. Nicky is endlessly pleased by the entire situation.

Fast in My Car by exybee (T | 3,897 | 2/2)

It's four in the morning and Andrew just wants to know how the hell he ended up in the middle of a high-speed police chase with a blue-eyed heartthrob in his passenger seat.

AKA: The Car Thief AU where Neil's not very good at stealing cars, but he's doing a bang up job of stealing Andrew's heart.

the harder you fall by petalloso (G | 17,078 | 2/2)

“The chances of dying on a plane are slim to none,” Neil says casually. “But if it were to crash, you’d be unconscious in a second, and probably dead before we hit the ground.”

Andrew stares at him, mildly baffled. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

Ari: 

Nine Weddings and No Funerals by gluupor (T | 28,578 | 10/10)

Neil's just been unceremoniously dumped by his longtime boyfriend before a busy wedding season where it seems like everyone he knows is tying the knot. Desperate not to look like a pathetic loser in front of his ex, he goes along with a plan to bring along a fake boyfriend to the weddings. Since neither Neil nor his date Andrew are interested in pursuing a relationship, there's no chance that anyone's feelings will be hurt.

Surely nothing about this plan will backfire.

a few living things by flybbfly (M | 14,066 | 4/4)

what if a mob boss and the assassin sent to kill him fell in love?

Foxglove Fridays by moonix (T | 4,207 | 1/1)

Every Friday, Neil comes into Andrew's shop to buy flowers.

i'm here right now (just be here right now with me) by Talls (M | Incomplete | 4/7)

Neil first meets Andrew with a racquet to the stomach in a locker room when he's eighteen. Andrew first meets Neil with a hushed conversation on a beach in California when he's five. They still manage to meet on rooftops, fall in love, find family, and heal together, just not quite at the same time and definitely not in the same order.

(In other words, Andrew is the Time Traveler's wife.)

The Real Folk Blues by moonix, nefelibata

 (E | 42,365 | 4/4)Captain David Wymack and the bounty hunter crew of the Bebop spaceship might be a little out of their depths chasing down the infamous hacker and notorious runaway Neil Wesninski, whose bounty exceeds even Kevin's wildest dreams. Worst of all, Andrew might actually enjoy it.

/Graphic Depictions of Violence

Halley:

Like A River by moonix (T | 65,259 | 8/8)

Andrew was a statistical anomaly. He was both a Seer and a Squib, an unfortunate combination of genetic traits that still somehow got him into Hogwarts. He had both hands full babysitting Kevin Day, resident Quidditch prodigy, after the drama with Riko Moriyama in fifth year, and making sure his brother finished his last year of education after the death of their mother. What he did not need was another stray to take in – Neil Hatford, formerly Nathaniel Wesninski, prominent guest in Andrew's prophetic dreams with his blue, blue eyes and death omens flocking to him wherever he went. What he needed even less was to start pretending they were in a relationship, but then, Andrew never had been very interested in doing what was good for him.

wind me tighter than a wire by ephemeralsky (T | 4,829 | 1/1)

The insufferable man with an incorrigible inclination for drama leans over the bar, his posture relaxed like a cat’s, and asks the woman, “What did you make him?”

“Ginger highball.”

“Hmm.” Turning towards Andrew, he says, “Now you have another ginger to appreciate.”

Andrew keeps his face carefully blank, taking inventory of the man. His eyeliner makes the ridiculous color of his eyes stand out even more, but the auburn hair is just as conspicuous. Andrew isn’t even going to think about his outrageous costume or about his outrageous legs.

“Gingers aren’t my type,” Andrew says, impassive.

(or: Kevin and Andrew are detectives, and Neil is a show boy who knows A Lot of things)

i'm here right now (just be here right now with me) by Talls (M | 12,201 | 1/5)

Neil first meets Andrew with a racquet to the stomach in a locker room when he's eighteen. Andrew first meets Neil with a hushed conversation on a beach in California when he's five. They still manage to meet on rooftops, fall in love, find family, and heal together, just not quite at the same time and definitely not in the same order.

(In other words, Andrew is the Time Traveler's wife.)

right side of rock bottom by allyasavedtheday (M | 20,019 | 1/1) 

Neil thinks it might be the first time he’s taken a breath in days.

He hadn’t realised it because he’d been so caught up in packing and saying goodbye to everyone but now that it’s over he remembers his self-imposed countdown was meant to be up by now. It’s the end of the school year and five months ago, he thought he’d be dead by now.

Instead he has a team and a future and a home and Andrew.

Way Down We Go by nekojita (E | 620,923 | 46/46)

How would things be different if Nathaniel and his mother had been in Seattle early enough to put him in California the same time as Andrew? What if their paths had crossed back then? What if Andrew's first promise wasn't to Aaron but to Nathaniel?

Catherine:

missed call by badacts (T | 5,757 | 6/6)

There was one thing Nathan had always stood by, his personal code – if you were going to go after someone, you went after them. Not their dog, not their parents, and definitely not their partner. He might not have managed to teach that to his henchmen, but he clearly succeeded with his son.

That, and 'a head for an eye'.

Lessons in Cartography by crazy_like_a (E | 121,706 | 37/37)

Nora mentioned in her extra content that Neil slowly maps out Andrew's body and then this fic happened. Starts after The King's Men

The Smallest Exy Player, Now Even Smaller by ionlyloveyouironically (T | 20,654 | 10/10)

Aaron pissed somebody off, which isn't a surprise, but what happens to Andrew in retaliation definitely is.

(Just another beloved-character-gets-magically-turned-into-a-child fic.)

please tell me it's just the fandom freaking out by OneSweetMelody (T | 16,573 | 7/7)

And finally, the Minyard/Josten Rivalry as told through social media.

__

Neil Josten @neiljos10

Sadly @ajminyard isn’t too excited about that face off

Neil Josten @neiljos10

Maybe @ajminyard will learn how to block an offside bouncer before then. Or any shot.

unsteady by lipsstainedbloodred (T | 808 | 1/1)

Andrew and Neil get into an argument and Neil has a panic attack.

Bea:

Every Choice Leads To You by SpangleBangle for tycutiovevo ( G | 2,809 | 1/1 )

Andrew knew they had to get up at some point, if only for the bathroom, but was loathe to hurry the moment along. He would take every greedy minute of Neil snug in his bed, for as long as he could. It was the choice he’d made years before, and the one he made every day when he saw Neil’s ‘good morning’ smile. He had a feeling it was a choice he’d be making for many years to come. And while that thought should be terrifying, with Neil sweet and content in his arms, fear was far away.

sickeningly sweet (like honey) by broship_addict( M | 30,351 | Incomplete )

Andrew Doe is twelve years old when he walks into Fox's Sweets Shop. Somehow, he leaves with three friends and all of them are Exy-obsessed losers.

Also known as the kid AU in which the Foxes are happy children and Andrew has a crush

The Real Folk Blues by moonix, nefelibata ( E | 42,365 | 4/4 )

Captain David Wymack and the bounty hunter crew of the Bebop spaceship might be a little out of their depths chasing down the infamous hacker and notorious runaway Neil Wesninski, whose bounty exceeds even Kevin's wildest dreams. Worst of all, Andrew might actually enjoy it.

/Graphic Depictions of Violence

in reference to motility, please proceed by Saul ( T | 8,283 | 1/1 )

She could be so small, he marveled. She was a cat, sleek and windy. A mouse, whiskers perfect and round ears quivering. A moth, fragile and dusty. A caterpillar, wriggly and colorful. She almost disappears.

“Alex,” his mother chided, her voice low and hand tight around his upper arm, but if she wasn't looking at him it would've taken him a moment to know who she meant. She was scared, she’s terrified, her pupils are dots, even though they were just in the second last row of a near-empty greyhound bus. “Stop playing. Are you listening to me?”

In his hand, Marie turned into a pill bug and curled up tight. He closed his hand around her, making her disappear.

The Continuing Adventures of the Nine-Nine by gluupor ( G | 43,357 | 9 Works | Complete )

A series of short, ridiculous, mostly plotless stories featuring the Foxes as the cops of the Ninety-Ninth Precinct.

Aaron:

corvus, vulpes, lupus by badacts (T | 31,834 | 6/6)

It’s not until Mary dies that she finally does settle. Neil looks away from the car, dazzled by firelight and the sense memory of her daemon breaking apart, and finds silvery speckled fur with jet-black points and reddish eyes the same colour as Nathaniel Wesninski’s hair. Just like that, he knows she won’t shift again

/Graphic Depictions of Violence, /Rape/Non-Con

they used to shout my name (now they whisper it) by badacts, broship_addict, PuckB (M | 46,940 | 5/5)

Neil is a bound witch on the run, making a choice between fleeing, slavery, and death. To Andrew, he looks like a useful weapon - at first.

It turns out that ‘useful’ isn’t all he is.

Funky Happenings with the Fox Family by dobbypussypopper (Not Rated | Incomplete | 10/?)

naughtygayweedcrime: did I rlly just see neil say woke

naughtygayweedcrime: what a surreal timeline we live in

dumbfool: allison is trying to teach me how to meme so I can get hip

naughtygayweedcrime: bless your poor soul

davidwymack: sometimes I regret living

davidwymack has muted exyllent, damnwilds, + 7 others for 30 minutes

Learning To Feel (When You've Forgotten How) by thegirlwiththeprettybrowneyes (T | Incomplete | 13/15)

On the night before his first day of therapy at Easthaven, Andrew blows out his legs and decides he isn't going to bury his feelings anymore, consequences be damned. In return, he gets a schedule change, and a very strange new therapist. /////// "Doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you," Andrew finished, looking anywhere but at Neil's face. Neil looked like he had just realized the sky was blue. "You like me," Andrew sighed. "Yeah," he said, resigned "Yeah, Neil, I like you," /////// No Proust AU

The Fleet Foxes Detective Agency by transandrewminyard (nocturnalboys) (E | Incomplete | 17/18)

In a catastrophic post-1929 Boston, the stock market crash and violent, unpredictable weather have dissolved the young nation known as America. Replacing it, a new lawless world rises, the nation-state of Independence, run by elite families who have the cash and clout to keep their grip on the survivors of the Crash. Andrew Minyard and Renee Walker, private eyes and owners of the Fleet Foxes Detective Agency, are the law, solving crimes in exchange for making their livelihood. When Andrew meets Neil Josten, jazz singer and objectively handsome man, he feels himself falling- into the realm of a new mystery, one that he isn't entirely sure he's prepared to solve, and a case that could radically change Independence forever.

Maz:

forever, for you. by softlightwood (G | 3,584 | 1/1)

The smile splitting Neil’s face in two is a soft thing, gentle and wonderful and the most genuine the expression has ever felt settled into his mouth. “I think you like putting up with me”

“Shut up”

“Make me,” Neil tells him.

“Marry me,” Andrew replies.

down beside my red firelight. by paleromantic (T | 2,052 | 1/1)

"Hey, Andrew?"

Andrew took a deep breath, and then looked over at him. "What is it?"

Kevin raised an eyebrow and hooked his thumb in the jeans he'd put on. "You look like... well, you look like you've gained weight recently."

of cabbages and kings by intrajanelle (T | 12,106 | 4/4)

Andrew is a bored lighthouse keeper on the Forgotten Coast. He tends to his garden, feeds the gang of stray cats that prowls his lawn, and occasionally parents the scrappy town orphan. He doesn’t need anyone else.

Or: Neil Josten moves to town.

Feels Like Wasted Youth by conniptionns, exybee (M | 10,170 | 5/5)

Neil’s current living situation is … complicated.

Between his roommates’ badass rager parties and his neighbors’ constant barging into his apartment, Neil’s sure he can handle anything junior year throws at him

That is, until someone leaves a passive-aggressive noise complaint on his door. Unfortunately for the second floor, Neil has skipped the passive and gone full aggressive.

Or the Neighbors AU featuring post-finals parties, ill-timed fire alarms, and helpful campus squirrels.

Remy:

Sunshine and Moonlight by SpangleBangle (T | Incomplete | 5/?)

Andrew starts regretting signing with the Palmetto Foxes the minute the other athletes start commenting on the form of his familiar, and definitely the second his new team mates start digging for details. Ugh. He just wants to tend to his plants and get through college in peace, even if it is fairly unusual for a witch his age to have a familiar. Whatever. That story is private, and nobody else's business.

we're just strangers by whenwordsflyoffthepage (T | 83662 | 21/21)

AU where Neil is in witness protection but still ends up an Exy junkie, Andrew doesn’t play Exy and needs a fake date to Allison and Renee’s wedding, the Moriyama’s aren’t criminals but Riko is still a dick, and Kevin has been living with his father since age 17 and just wants his friends to stop being dramatic so he can play Exy in PEACE

Once More by AkemiAsh (E | Incomplete | 30/?)

When Neil wakes up in a very familiar car sitting next to a ghost, a little more than 7 years younger, he was more than a little freaked out. Last thing he remembered was going out for Andrew's 25th birthday. He hadn’t been sure what to expect. He hadn’t even been sure why he’d done it. He was left adrift in too tight skin, sitting for hours next to the ghost of his mother in what was apparently a jaunt into the past, but it was ingrained in him to run back to Andrew. Always he orbited around the man who stood between him and any threat. Always he found his way to the man’s side. Now was no exception. He hadn’t really expected for Andrew to know who he was though. As he heard Andrew’s voice say his name, he realized that he’d been expecting a ‘Who is this?’, not a ‘Neil?’. Somehow, the relief he’d felt at hearing it though, was short lived. He was panicking. “Where the fuck are you. I woke up six hours ago in the house in Colombia with Nicky and Aaron. It’s fucking April 22nd, 2003 Neil.”

/Graphic Depictions Of ViolenceRape/Non-Con

The Road To Nowhere by emmerrr (M | 118526 | 30/30)

The population has been decimated by an epidemic, society has fallen, and no one is safe. But Neil has never been safe to begin with. When the death of his mother finally leaves him with nothing left to lose, Neil inadvertently stumbles across a miss-match group of people living and working together despite the odds. Sometimes it takes the apocalypse to find out where you truly belong; the hard part is holding onto it. And when so much of him is held together by lies, Neil might have to learn that you can never outrun your past indefinitely.

/Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Beth:

All we need is somebody to lean on by AgapantoBlu (T | 33,196 | 14/14)

“Stuff came up,” he said, in a voice that let no doubts about how much goodness could be in such stuff. None. “It involves my parents and a courtroom.”

Nicky didn’t react while saying those words, but Matt flinched enough for both of them. Once more, he didn’t know the details, but he knew, just like all the other Foxes, that Luther and Maria Hemmick figured in the register of campus security as “unwanted: forbidden entry”.

The Kids Are Alright (Now) by Marmeladeskies for BakaDoll (T | 13,098 | 10/10)

When they're two years old, Aaron and Andrew are adopted together- and it changes the course of their fate drastically.

A story about scars, healing, dogs, and the little boy with the auburn curls who just moved in next door.

raze it to the ground by ilgaksu for badacts (T | 4,511 | 1/1)

It stops being about Neil entirely, and it starts being about this: Andrew is really, really fucking tired.

Part 1 of the long way down

I'm Here (Except When You're Not) by LittleWonderly (E | Incomplete | 13/?)

He’s going to leave. The thought raged it way through Kevin’s mind so fiercely it burned. He’d thought it for months, he’d imagined a hundred different ways before falling asleep but he was not prepared for the moment, not even close.

Kevin graduates from the Foxes and has to leave behind everything that he has come to know. His new family, both blood and not. His partners. With the absence of all he has come to rely on, is being alone something Kevin can survive?

Chasing the Night to See the Stars by ChasingSunlight (Not Rated | 62,746 | 34/34) 

Jean Moreau comes to the Trojans a broken man. The Trojans, for their part, decide that broken does not mean unlovable.

\ Rape/Non-Con

Félix:

 we might be hollow (but we're brave) by stttmsbwa (M | 40,681 | 4/4) 

Andrew is looking to live his life in peaceful nothingness, but his new neighbor's cat won't stop sneaking onto his balcony. As much as he tries to not make it into something, Andrew finds himself drawn to the mysterious and tempting man next door. Neil is just trying to find a reason to not leave Palmetto after everyone else has moved on. But he never thought he would want to run toward something in favor of running away. (In a slightly different world, two people find themselves meeting in a softer setting and in just as much need of each other. A story about dealing with pasts, sharing secrets and a cat who is an asshole yet manages to charm everyone around it.)

be neither fish nor fowl by KING (pelted) (T | 26,363 | 1/1) 

They found it in the locked room of a Royal Navy's vessel, The Fox waiting to take her crew and their new spoils across the deep blue. It was beautiful. It was rarer than any diamond. “A mermaid,” Dan laughed, taking a step back and sweeping her hat off her head to hold to her chest. “They were transporting a mermaid.”

It was going to make them rich. ( wherein the Foxes are pirates, Neil has gills, and no one quite trusts the magic. ) 

Part 1 of Fear No Fall

bloom (just for you) by godotco (M | 7,592 | 4/4) 

For lack of any better explanation for what was happening, Neil was in uncontrollable full bloom. - A little slice of witch au turned flower shop au

you take the fucking cake. by Idnis (T | 12,284 | 1/1) 

In which Kevin takes baking way too seriously, Andrew makes cookies and Neil learns to bake, and to stay

Show Me How You by smokesprite ( Not Rated | 6,825 | 1/1)

 "They thought they would stop the show; they thought they could cut the act, but Neil had been sulking around too long now to not know where all the necessary equipment was. He was a ghost, and he would do the ghost dance, goddammit." Neil is a ghost with a house to haunt, but the Moxie Foxy Burlesque Troupe refuses to be chased off. If you can't beat em...join em.