#love bon don't talk about his actions in the renryrr arc. that's like one whole third of his time in the story. you're missing out on huge

[bestbonnist]

What Kahaku says here is just so wild to me. Both because the way he uses religious rhetoric is mildly disturbing (occasionally Kahaku will say something about god and I am forcibly reminded that he was indoctrinated by a cult) and also because technically, he's correct. Kai, Hylo, and Messar are loyal to the Beholder and not Fushi (whereas Kahaku, being better than them [heavy sarcasm], is of course loyal to Fushi and no one else). Let me explain.

Kai has to pretend that he doesn't know who the Beholder is in front of Fushi, but he, Hylo, and Messar did have a conversation with him behind Fushi's back, with Bon's assistance, because he's the one "steering this ship." Not Fushi. Kai, Hylo, and Messar (and Bon!) believe that this battle is out of Fushi's control and that the Beholder is the one who's actually pulling the strings. And to take advantage of that situation, they're using Fushi's power to resurrect them to its full potential. Bon, and Kai, Hylo, and Messar believe that this is the best option they have.

Kahaku describes this as the three of them being loyal to the Beholder and disdains them for it, but that's horseshit. Fushi never asked for their loyalty nor did Kai, Hylo, or Messar offer it. They're comrades, working together towards the same goal as equals. The way Kahaku seems to think all relationships have a leader and a follower and that Fushi is naturally deserving of others' loyalty says, uh... way more about him and his life with the Guardians than it does about them. Just because he personally had to swear his devotion to Fushi doesn't mean everyone has to. However, what Kahaku defines as loyalty—the trust between comrades—has still been misplaced. Kai, Hylo, and Messar have seriously broken Fushi's trust, ironically because of their dedication to their shared goal.

Kahaku doesn't have a damn clue about their conversation with the Beholder, he's just intuiting all of this because he doesn't like Bon very much and doesn't want to believe that Bon's a good person. All of his logic is entirely based on himself, his distrust of Bon, his desire to be the only person Fushi needs—one way to get there is by encouraging them to ditch Bon—because somehow that proves he's worth something, his religious upbringing. And yet somehow he still manages to make a valid point. Even when he loses he wins <3

The only things he gets wrong are that Bon has genuinely changed since Uralis, and Kai, Hylo, and Messar are well aware of what they swore fealty to. Bon's not decieving them, they know exactly what's going on. But Kahaku assumes that they have no clue, or else there's no way they would have done that. Because that's crazy and a violation of Fushi's trust. So obviously they wouldn't, right? :|

And again, obviously, Kai, Hylo, Messar, and Bon have their reasons for doing this. In their own way, they're trying to protect Fushi's humanity just like Kahaku. And the other option is, what? Letting more people die?? Because that's what'll happen if they don't do this, it's not an option at all. But they've still crossed a fucking line, not just with Fushi, but also with Kahaku. Right before he starts spouting about demons and curses, he begs Kai to let him go, because they're supposed to be comrades. Kai refuses, and that's when Kahaku (correctly) guesses that Bon wants him out of the way.

Although Kai, Hylo, and Messar had the chance to learn what was going to happen to them before the battle, as well as the chance to opt out, Kahaku and Fushi have been lied to this entire time and are only now learning that no one actually trusted them. To be blunt, they didn't sign up for this shit, and there's a limit to how much they can take. The immortal soldiers, too, have a limit to how much they can die for their cause before they break.