#love is love and it doesn't need open declarations online for it to be real

[lyriquette]

Old RWBY AU description from the Frosen Steel server -troublemakers AU - 12/10/2020

AU of singer!Weiss having two incredibly troublesome fans, a graffiti-loving prankster/streamer and the leader of a troll army. She's tired.

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The Nail:

lilac — 12/09/2020 11:57 PM

So let's say the nail here is that Ozma and Salem didn't get into a giant war. Somehow their kids lived, so all humanity really needed to deal with is the Grimm without any evolutions on Salem's part. They're still a pain in the arse because the Grimm's strength and numbers are always a little bit less than humanity's.

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lilac — 12/10/2020 12:14 AM

And in that background, we have Ruby Rose, a streaming traceuse, engineer, and prankster who recently unlocked her semblance much to Atlas's dismay. The logo on her stream is a goose with the caption "i am here to cause problems"

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lilac — 12/10/2020 12:25 AM

Weiss is a famous pop star in Atlas - still lives in the Schnee Mansion. The Schnee Dust Company no longer existed in its full form; due to the more peaceful world, Atlas put a foot down on monopolies a couple years after Jacques took control and tried making the company as inhumane as possible to increase his profit margins. So he's currently wearing an orange jumpsuit. The family overall is much happier in his absence. Willow divorced the man and rumors say the most eligible bachelorette has been meeting someone clandestinely, drinking together. Which also happens to be part of the reason why Ruby is currently at Atlas lol.

lilac — 12/10/2020 12:30 AM

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Weiss unlocked her Glyphs but has been using it mostly as fairly expensive special effects. She's described as the fairy of atlas (or whatever name you all can come up with - I'm bad 8l ). Myrtenaster does exist as the girl is a fencer on the side.

As well known as Weiss is though, her musical career has stagnated. Too many artists and singers saturating the market, and she hasn't had any inspiration lately since she's always been insistent on making her own songs.

lilac — 12/10/2020 12:31 AM

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lilac — 12/10/2020 12:45 AM

Penny is still developed by Atlasian military but upon realizing Pietro has no intention on making a clearly real girl fight against the enemies of human, Ironwood was like "okay you're right." So Penny doesn't have any of the weaponry and was allowed to live like a child and go to school. She doesn't quite know what she wants to do (maybe lead a sentient robot uprising /j) after schooling, but her dads are open to her doing anything. Her hobby is music and programming, and she's been following the Angel of Atlas since her debut. She is Weiss's self-proclaimed number one fan but more importantly she's her friend. If there is bad stuff about her friend on the internet, she will drown people with a troll army. To Weiss's dismay, a lot of her fans just follow her for the flame wars Penny would cause on her behalf. Lol

Online Penny is super different from offline penny.

"When logic and reason no longer work, what do we do?!"

"Flame them to death!! "

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lilac — 12/10/2020 1:20 AM

Ruby naturally is our walking, sometimes running, plot device. Wears a cape and a butterfly mask when she's actively streaming and has a button camera on her mask that doesn't work unless she physically wears the mask.

She learns about the Angel of Atlas and quickly falls in love with her work. Soon, super high places in Atlas are demonstrating large areas of grafiti depicting Weiss or a set of angel wings. Even the CCT tower gets the treatment.

Sooner or later, she declares herself the number one fan online which Penny takes offense to. Cue flame war between the two lol. Weiss had to log in to stop them from wrecking the local server with their war.

Essentially Ruby's chaos-loving followers versus Penny's troll army.

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They eventually learn to not fight on Weiss's server. And instead find that holding flame wars on the sites and servers of Weiss's haters is a more productive thing to do. To the dismay of their leaders, eventually the trolls and chaos lovers become one happy family. The only thing that came out good was the chaos-lovers becoming Weiss fans…not for the music but because Weiss's name is now synonymous for troublesome.

"Thanks, guys."

"Sorry. orz."

"I'm sorry" (edited)

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One day, Ruby goes to Weiss online all "maybe ill meet you in the middle of the night. just pop in."

Weiss: "so you're telling me to hire more guards."

Ruby: "don't worry. They won't be able to separate us. I'll be there tonight. ^_~"

Weiss: asdsddrfffssd

Penny: !!!

So that night Penny grabs a simplified form of Floating Array and installs it. She picks up a cat mask and uses FR to move past buildings like Spiderman.

Destination: weiss's home to protect her virtue

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lilac — 12/11/2020 12:56 AM

So back to the streamer / troll army AU:

Penny goes off to the Schnee Mansion and is spider-manning her way there while wearing a cat mask. mission? Protect her idol's virtue from the red-wearing weirdo.

She arrives. Ruby's already spray painting a set of wings on the mansion.

"I'll protect Weiss from your foul clutches!"

"Who are you again?"

"I am Weiss's number one fan!"

"No that's me! You're that troll girl! I'm going to beat you down."

"What did you say to me? I'll have you know that I graduated in top of my class in the Atlasian Military, and I've been in multiple search and destroy missions involving the Grimm, and I have 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in antipersonnel warfare, and I'm the top hand-to-hand specialist in all of Atlas. You are ju-"

Ruby interrupts her with a paint bomb.

Penny is rainbow-colored now.

Cue angry shrieking and then awkward fighting because neither girl has fought before. Meanwhile….

Whitley: hello police ? There's two crazy girls fighting on our lawn…and there's paint and glitter everywhere

Weiss wakes up from all the racket. She sees the paint and glitter all over the house and lawn, realizes who the two probably are, and angrily pulls out a training epee. She runs out yelling. (edited)

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Before long, she's sitting on top of the two because unlike Ruby and Penny she's had formal training. Her eye is twitching from the arts and crafts disaster that's become her home. She turns on the full force of her bossiness.

"Wei-"

"Salu-"

"I've been chauffering my mom and her infuriating date all day today. Then I had to deal with my manager and why i haven't come up with more songs. And then you both come wake me up at one in the morning, turning my entire home into a preschool art project! You WILL clean up the mess you made or so help me god…"

She just screams out in anger, making the other two hug each other in fear. After she stalks off, the other two notice their position and quickly pull away from each other. They then grudgingly work together to clean the lawn and house and repair the damage they made.

The police do arrive but are turned around by Klein who tells them everything is under control.

After they're mostly done, Klein invites the two to stay at the manor, since it's late and not safe - though for him, it's an excuse to have Weiss interact with kids her age in a non-backstabby-rival-singer way. Naturally, the two excitedly accept.

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lilac — 12/14/2020 9:36 AM

Back to troll Penny, singer Weiss, streaming prankster Ruby:

Klein invites the uninvited guests to stay the night after they clean up the mess they made of the Schnee mansion.

The next day, Ruby and Penny were unable to get any sleep, mostly cause they are all "omg I'm sleeping in my idol's home." So come morning, they're both exhausted and meet each other in the hall. Penny and Ruby share a pleased smile behind their masks before they recall they're supposed to be hostile to each other, cause both of them consider themselves as Weiss's number one fan.

Klein sees them and leads them to the dining room for breakfast, where they find a delicious spread. Whitley's already there, kinda wondering why the crazy girls he called the police on earlier are eating here, but given Klein invited them, they couldnt be that dangerous.

As all three of them eat, Weiss comes in mostly in pajamas and some bedhead, clearly dazed and drowsy. For one, she doesnt even notice the pair on the table. Whitley looks at Weiss and the two girls with an amused face. Ruby and Penny don't even know what to say as Weiss just goes about her business, mostly like a zombie with Klein helpfully putting food on her plate and most importantly an industrial-sized mug of coffee. She just eats and drinks what's on her plate before going back the way she came.

Whitley watches on with amused anticipation.

The girls are wondering if she's deliberately ignoring them when they see her collide with the wall beside the doorway. Before they could ask if she's okay, Weiss just dazedly steps back and walks through the hall instead.

Whitley's giggling, and when the girls look at him, he just says, "every morning. Like clockwork."

[torispencerkeene-blog]

BE A HERO. WEAR A MASK (Take Two)

In the past few weeks I have been trying (mostly without success) to spread the message that HEROES WEAR MASKS. I find so much of this disturbing, but recently I came across a post from someone who was giving their reasons for not wearing masks. I don’t want to call that person out, or make them feel bad, so I decided to do a little bit of research. I came up with eight main reasons that people don’t wear masks, and I want to show you what they are and give you a hint as to how those things could be countered if you have to explain this to anyone. 

I would also like to remind you that we are all in this together. Please don’t get into a fight about this. Healthy debate is great, but don’t let anyone pull you into a fight. It could be more dangerous than them not wearing that mask. 

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1. It's harder to breathe when I wear a mask. 

If you find it more difficult to breathe while wearing a mask, then you should absolutely be the FIRST one wearing a mask. Take that feeling, of having a hard time getting air... now quadruple it. You might be getting close to the first stages of what asthma feels like. 

When I can't breathe it absolutely terrifies me. I have asthma, and wearing a mask sometimes does make it a little harder to breathe. But I wear the mask because the idea of having a tube down my throat just so I can get air is ten-million times more terrifying. I don't want to die from Covid-19. I really, really don't. 

2. It makes me uncomfortable. 

There are other masks out there. If you can't find one that is comfortable, you can make one. It's fun and interesting to make your own designs and just do what you want with the material. There are masks that are made from spandex that are much more comfortable and slip right up under your glasses so they don't get all foggy. If I can do it, so can you. 

3. It isn't my responsibility to keep other people safe. 

Maybe not, but it isn't only strangers you would be protecting. When you wear a face mask, social distance, and take proper precautions (like washing your hands with hot water and soap for a full 20 seconds), then you are protecting yourself, your children, your parents, your friends, your neighbors, your grocery store clerk. Most of them are people you see all the time. You like them. You want them in your life. Wear a mask for them. Be a hero. Being a hero isn't about only meeting your responsibilities, it is going above and beyond for other people. 

4. It makes me afraid (Or, it’s fearmongering).

If you weren't afraid, I would be worried about you. Seriously, we're all afraid. Every single one of us has some fear. Maybe it isn't Covid-19. Maybe it's a fear of a car accident, or fear of losing someone, or a fear of the dark. All of us have fear. But rising above that fear and doing what is best for other people is a sign of bravery. Like Clara from Doctor Who, perhaps whisper, "Let me be brave." 

When you are afraid of the dark, you bring a flashlight. When you are afraid of a stranger, you carry pepper spray. When you are afraid of a disease... you wear a mask. 

5. It doesn't work. 

Actually, that is where you are wrong. No, I’m not about to get up on a political soap-box and preach at you about who is right or wrong in politics. I don’t like Republicans, but I also don’t really care for Democrats. I guess, maybe, I could be called an Independent, but even they don’t really fit my criteria. So me saying this isn’t about politics. Please hear me when I say that. I don’t care who you vote for... wear a mask when you do it. 

If masks didn't work, why would doctors and nurses have been wearing them for so many years? It doesn't make them look important. It's because they don't want to carry any diseases home to their families. It makes perfect sense. If you were working with asbestos, you would wear protective gear for that too. Doctors know viruses and diseases can spread, so they protect themselves. 

The medical workers and scientists working through the Covid-19 pandemic have been pretty clear about masks in recent weeks. The more we learn, the more we know we need these masks if we want our country to completely re-open, and to STAY open. I did a bunch of research on this, mostly because I got into a debate with someone about it, and found literally dozens of articles and PDFs about the effectiveness of masks during the pandemic, and all (except a few older pieces by someone I wouldn't want treating me for a splinter) said the same thing. Masks help slow the spread. 

In fact, one news report I watched said that in a hair salon, two customers had Covid-19 but didn’t know it. The stylist and other customers didn't get it because those customers were wearing masks! Keeping a mask on protects everyone you come into contact with. It isn’t a perfect solution (there are none) but refusing to wear a mask only keeps the spread of the disease going on and keeps us shut down longer. 

6. It violates my rights. 

Which ones? 

Laid out in the Declaration of Independence it says that 'all men have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.' I will grant you that. And you have the right to express your opinions (I can show you how) but that does NOT mean that you have the right to put other people in danger to exercise those rights! I have the right to LIVE. I want to live. I don't have grandchildren yet. I would like to actually live long enough to meet them. I want to live long enough for my son to get married. I want to live to pursue some of my dreams, to find that happiness for myself. Wearing a mask protects my rights!

Are you talking about your first amendment rights? That is the right to religion, free speech, having a free press, the right to assemble, and the right to petition the government. 

 - If you want to practice your religion, services are being held online by so many churches I couldn’t begin to name them all. (If you are a shut-in like I was, you already know this) There are dozens of churches that post their services on their websites. It’s how I watched when I couldn’t get to church. 

- If you want the right of free speech, make your own mask into a statement!

- If you want the press, it’s everywhere! 

- If you want to assemble, no one is stopping you (unless the area where you live has increasing numbers of Covid-19, in which case they are trying to save your life).

- If you want the right to petition the government, you can... just do it safely. There are more ways than one to petition. Start an online petition. Do a drive-by petition where every family makes statements on their car. If you want to, you can even make your mask a petition. There are more ways to do it than gathering together without simple protection for yourself and the ones you love. 

7. It's a political statement. 

 Actually, it isn't. It's a statement that you think you know more than every doctor and nurse, every scientist in all the countries around the world. Masks have NOTHING to do with politics. But they can... Let me tell you how. 

Get blank black or white reusable face masks and either fabric markers or puff paints. Then you can write whatever you want to say on your mask! Then it can BECOME a political statement! 

8. President Trump doesn't wear one, why should I? 

First, let me reiterate what your mother probably asked you at least once during your formative years (if your mom is anything like mine). “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?” 

All I am saying is use common sense. It's not up for debate. We know wearing masks slows the spread. Don't do something dangerous just to have solidarity with the president. If you want to impress him, find a red reusable face mask and write ‘Make America Great Again’ all over it with white puff paint. 

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So, what reasons do you have for not wearing a mask? Is it something I didn't cover on the list? Is there something you want to know and no one has given you an answer? Do you wear a mask and want to know how to convince others to wear one? Do you wear one, but don’t even know why? 

Ask me. If I don’t know the answer, I will try to find it for you. I am up for healthy debate (but no actual fighting) about the pros and cons of wearing masks. If you have real evidence to support not wearing one, I’d love to see it. Anything that can help me answer questions and teach people. 

Also, if you want access to my research, type in the pros and cons to wearing a face mask to fight Covid-19 in your search bar. Yeah, you might pull up a couple articles from people who are against it, but if you look for MEDICAL research, you will get the same answer every time. Masks slow the spread. There are tons of videos on YouTube about it as well. 

Look, we're all pretty smart people. No one is asking you to change your political beliefs. We only want the chance to live. We don't want to die. We don't want our kids, our parents, our brothers and sisters, or our friends and neighbors to die. We have seen that countries that practice social distancing, mask wearing, and proper precautions are already on the other side of the curve. If we want America to be fully open (and stay that way) we need to do our part. 

BE A HERO. WEAR A MASK!

[artificialqueens]

Alaska Doesn't Know (Katlaska) - a-tresia

She doesn’t know when it happened. But it happened. Quietly. Gradually. Gently. Unknowingly.

AN: I was rewatching All Stars 2 on a 14 hour plane ride to Europe and wrote this on the plane ride home because I couldn’t get it out of my head. It’s unedited and messy and basically a scattered brain on a long haul flight manifested in a 3,000 word story.

And, uh, if you like it – let me know. Turns out, sitting in a plane for half a day is great for *productivity*. So there’s another story in this same universe if you guys decide you like this.

My Craquaria fic is still being written – just had to purge a little.

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Alaska doesn’t know when it happened — when she started calling her Katya (proper, formal, professional) then Ka-tee-ya (drawn out vowels, markedly Alaska) then Kataya (“My mom didn’t know how to say her name for a while and was calling her Kataya,” she said in an interview and it became a running joke but really it was just endearing) then Kati (Only Alaska calls her Kati, as far as she knows. And only Alaska can call her Kati. Because why would they? That’s not her name). Sometimes it’s an irreverent butchering of her name but she does it with the purest of intentions. And only in public. Now it’s just Brian. Or some sort of an overly sappy, teeth-rotting pet name. And it sounds more natural. And real.

It wasn’t until she lost her phone — in a cab, or the airport, or a plane, or another airport, in a car, in an event venue, a hotel room, wherever, whenever, whatever — that she realizes that Katya’s constant texts or phone calls or video calls, seemingly a continuous stream of consciousness, has stopped being Too Much and Infuriating to her.

(Alaska asks Trixie how she does it. How she can keep on listening to Katya go on tangents about anything and everything and not want to strangle her.

“Oh, you think I don’t?” Trixie laughs. “I constantly want to strangle her. Or kill myself. Which I think would be an easier option.” Trixie shoots herself in the mouth with two finger guns.

“TRACY!” Alaska laughs — screeches, really — and almost falls off the stool as she does.)

She doesn’t know when it happened. But it happened. Quietly. Gradually. Gently. Unknowingly.

(After a show, with everyone scrambling to get out of drag, trying to get the fuck out of this place and into bed, Katya’s going on about something or another on some sort of a live video. Alaska’s observing her from afar. She zones out of her (one-sided) conversation with Detox and focuses her attention on Katya. She laughs as she finally catches the gist of Katya’s seemingly endless and nonsensical story.

“Why are you laughing?” Detox asks, pulling Alaska back into THEIR conversation.

“What?” she asks automatically as she focuses back on Detox.

Detox looks at Alaska’s reflection on the mirror. Then at Katya’s. “I can’t believe people actually stay up to tune in to that,” she says. “Bitch gives me a fucking headache.”

Alaska laughs. Because it’s true. The bitch gives everyone a headache. Except her. Not anymore, apparently. “Verbal diarrhea. Like she’s dumping her psyche online,” Alaska explains. “Makes her more relatable, I guess. It’s cute.”

“When did you start finding that cute?”

Alaska locks eyes with Detox on the mirror, scrunches her nose, and pouts her lips. “I don’t knoooooow,” she drawls. And she really doesn’t.)

And now she’s uncomfortable at the sudden peace and quiet. She doesn’t know what to do. She’s usually on the phone with Katya as soon as she lands until she’s pulling up to their apartment. She just knows she needs to get home. Home to Katya. To Brian. A new phone can wait until tomorrow.

She comes home to an empty apartment. It’s as tidy as it will ever be. There’s mail on the floor. Why Katya didn’t pick it up, she doesn’t know. There’s an unwashed spoon and bowl in the kitchen sink, still with oatmeal left, almost calling out her name for a wash. There’s a cheap pair of heels, superglue, and some crystals on the coffee table. There’s also a new addition to their plant babies on the windowsill. Oh no, another mouth to feed. Alaska moves to admire them but is stopped by the sudden sound of retching coming from the bathroom.

Katya’s on the bathroom floor, head resting against the toilet seat. She lifts her head to see Alaska’s worried face. “Mother, I’ve been having morning sickness again,” she manages to say before Alaska could ask. She’s been in and out of the bathroom the whole morning, throwing up everything she takes in, so she’s decided to camp out instead.

Alaska grabs a towel before sitting on the floor beside Katya. “It was ONE time. Are you telling me I should have pulled out?” Alaska says with a straight face. Katya laughs — it’s weak, but it’s there, and the effort hurts. “Because, honey, you know that’s not how it works, right?”

“I didn’t go to fucking school for math.” Katya laughs again, more force this time, and Alaska joins in. She leans her head against Alaska when they finally calm down. “You’re home,” she says kissing Alaska’s shoulder.

Alaska nods. She kisses the top of Katya’s head. “I AM home,” she says. “And I lost my phone.” Alaska thinks she’s been trying to get in touch. Katya mumbles something about getting a new one tomorrow and Alaska agrees. That’s not important, for now.

It takes them a while to get up from the floor. Mostly because Katya has to throw up again. And again. And again. Each time finding herself crawling back into Alaska’s lap. All the traveling has Alaska’s back hurting but she doesn’t want to get up until Katya feels better. Solidarity. Poor, Kati. Alaska offers to take her to the doctor but Katya refuses. “Can you just call my mom? Or my sister?” Katya suggests.

She remembers that Pat’s a nurse. And she can help. She’s probably the only legitimate medical professional Katya trusts. “Your mom, okay,” she agrees. “But why your sister?”

Katya sits up to look Alaska straight in the eyes. “She’s a veterinary pathologist,” she explains, enunciating each syllable as if that would explain how she could help Katya at the moment.

“Exactly! She’s a veterinarian - AN ANIMAL DOCTOR!” she says trying to get up from the floor. She doesn’t know why Katya insists on deferring to the medical expertise of her sister whenever she has a medical issue because well, she’s not a human doctor, but Katya is Katya. She’ll indulge her sometimes. Not today though, not when she looks like she’s dying and dead. “You’re not a dog, Brian,” Alaska reminds her, AS IF she needed reminding that she is indeed of a different species.

Katya gets up on all fours. “But I AM an animal,” she pants before literally rolling on the floor laughing. Alaska has to laugh along with her because she walked right into that trap.

Alaska doesn’t know when she’s come to accept that nothing that comes out of Katya’s mouth will ever be as expected. But she always expects to be surprised.

(Another flight delay in the chronicles of touring drag queens. No one is happy but they’re trying to keep the beast mode to a minimum. It’s a silent but solid agreement that only one queen can lose their shit at any given time. None of them are having a breakdown at the moment. And that’s good. No one needs whiny ass bitches right now.

Katya opens a bag of Skittles and settles in. “Let’s get serious here for a moment,” she says turning her body to face Alaska. She mirrors Katya’s position, knees touching knees. She agrees and takes Katya’s candy to share. “What exactly do you want to wake up to everyday?” Katya asks very seriously.

With Katya, you never know what you’re going to get. Some days, it’s all nonsense. Some days, like today, it’s this. Smart. Deep. Existential. Alaska’s quite taken aback by the question. She thinks for a moment, as she chews on her Skittles, that maybe her tired brain can’t handle these types of questions. She considers a shallow answer. But shallow is not what Katya wants. “Warmth,” she answers. And frankly, she can’t believe that she’s comfortable enough with Katya to be this candid with her. Katya furrows her brows as if prompting her to elaborate. “Not in the literal sense, as in heat,” she starts to explain. “But, as in, the feeling of warmth and contentment. Whether I wake up alone or next to someone, I just want to wake up to a feeling of warmth, positivity, comfort, and safety.”

Katya is surprised. Genuinely surprised. “Wow,” she says blinking at Alaska. She grabs Alaska’s shoulders. “May I remind you, ma’am, that THIS is an airport,” she says seriously, raising her hands to solidify her point. “I came here to catch FLIGHTS, not feelings.” Katya abruptly gets up, leaving Alaska dumbfounded, thinking: feelings?)

Alaska calls Pat on Katya’s phone while she unpacks and Katya showers. They both agree it’s because of Katya’s shitty food choices. “He was filming with Trixie yesterday,” Alaska offers. It was a dumb explanation but it made sense to them both. Pat laughs. She knows. Everyone knows. All Katya takes in when she’s filming is caffeine and sugar. Nothing substantial. Nothing nutritious. Alaska promises to sneak in more greens.

Katya’s mom tells her what medicine to buy and what flavor of Pedialyte to get “because Brian gets very particular about that.” Alaska knows. “I’m sorry you have to live with a child, Justin,” she says in jest. Alaska agrees. Completely. She doesn’t mind though.

Alaska catches up with Pat for a bit while she sorts through her stuff. She doesn’t know when talking to Katya’s mom became like talking to her own — it’s comforting. She tells her they’ll try to come visit soon. Katya catches the tail end of their conversation, only to sneak in a hi mom, love you, bye, before the call ends.

She thanks Alaska for calling her mom, declares that she’s feeling so much better now that Alaska’s home, and starts to help with the unpacking. No, not really. All she’s really doing is playing with Alaska’s feather boa.

Katya makes a show of plopping herself onto the couch with a dramatic sigh. Alaska looks at her suspiciously. “I feel like there’s something you want to say.”

“I don’t want to be dramatic but —”

“Let me stop you right there.” Alaska holds her hand up to stop Katya from talking. “I can tell you right now that you are physically incapable of not being dramatic. You may continue,” she says with a hand flourish.

Katya crosses her arms and looks away. “I have feelings, you know. And you hurt them.”

Alaska crosses the room to sit beside Katya. “Uh, Brian,” she says, unsure. Her heart is pounding in her chest. She must be genuinely upset. But Katya being Katya, this can also be one of her stupid antics. She hopes it IS just one of her stupid antics. Katya refuses to look at her. She moves closer, enveloping Katya in a hug. “Brian, what’s wrong?”

“Alaska Joanne Elizabeth Thunderfun,” Katya starts. Alaska sighs in relief. This isn’t serious. But she’ll keep up the charade until Katya’s done talking. “Well, you’ve been home 4 hours and you haven’t even properly kissed me yet.” Katya pouts. “I brushed my teeth, mama. I don’t have vomity breath.” Serious enough, Alaska thinks. She shifts Katya’s body to face her. “Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me!” Katya insists.

“A certifiable disaster.” And Alaska doesn’t know any better but to oblige. Again. And again. And again.  

(Alaska catches Katya in the dressing room taking off the last of her lipstick. She removes her wig and settles herself on the seat beside Katya to remove her nails. She doesn’t know it but she’s making a face. That face. The things-didn’t-go-my-way-I-want-to-cry-and-I’m-about-to-throw-a-tantrum face.

Katya eyes her carefully. “Are you okay?” Alaska doesn’t respond and it makes Katya uneasy. Their friendship has definitely changed in the past few months. And Alaska has never been this quiet around her. Not since All Stars. “Alaska,” she calls out. Alaska’s brows are furrowed. “Justin,” Katya tries.

She looks up. She heard Katya the first time. And she definitely knows what Katya wants to know. She’s been in a sour mood the whole night. She wants to say something. She has just enough alcohol in her body to be able to feel things but sober enough to stop herself from doing or saying something stupid.

“Look,” Katya says as she put on her boy clothes. “You don’t have to tell me anything. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” All Katya gets is a nod. It’s vague. It doesn’t really mean anything. But she knows not to push it. She reminds Alaska that the van is ready to leave and tells her she’ll be outside to smoke.

Alaska quickly changes into her boy clothes, leaving her face to deal with later. She follows the rest of the queens to the parking lot where Katya has been waiting for them forever. She watches Katya take a long drag off her cigarette before calling out to her. “Kati.”

That must have sounded pathetic because Katya definitely knows something is wrong. It’s unfair, really, how Katya can see right through her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She doesn’t want to talk about it. But she does, SHE DOES want to talk about it. “Kati,” she says slowly. She pauses. And Katya waits. Quite uncharacteristically patient and unmoving. “I need…” She takes a deep breath. “Please don’t make me say it out loud.”

Katya’s confused. She really doesn’t have patience for this right now. Alaska’s bad mood is contagious. “I’m not making you do anything, Alaska.”

Alaska thinks she would never have to tell Katya this. They’re friends, really great friends, and it’s amazing. Alaska even thinks she replaced Ginger as Katya’s best friend. She doesn’t know when it happened but this friendship, this warmth in her chest, is suddenly dense and heavy with feelings that she knows aren’t just for friends. It’s like Katya crawled her way into Alaska’s heart and made a home there. And tonight, Alaska is suddenly forced to open this floodgate. She is faced with the need to open herself to these feelings and just be true to herself. Because she really doesn’t need to see Katya flirting with everybody. She doesn’t need to see Katya STEALING. WILLAM’S. TRADE. In front of her. She doesn’t need that. Not when she’s already deep in this rabbit hole. Yes, Katya may not reciprocate. Because she never knows with Katya. And that’s not okay, she thinks. But it will be. It should be. They should be able to still remain friends.

It doesn’t help that Katya is just there, smoking her third cigarette, letting Alaska gather her thoughts. She’s quiet and Alaska isn’t used to a quiet Katya. Not when they’re around each other. “You really don’t have to tell me anything,” she repeats. “I can see that something’s bothering you but I won’t push. I can give you a hug if you need a hug or space if you need that.”

And Alaska knows that. But she has to get this off her chest. She looks Katya straight in the eyes. Katya senses that whatever Alaska wants to say is coming so she shifts her body to face her head on. “Kat — Brian.” She drops Alaska’s inflections. “You are the BEST human. Ever. And I like you way more than anybody, even myself. I really like you. You, Brian. And not just as a friend.” Alaska wants to stop but the words keep on coming. “If I don’t see you or talk to you, I get curious. I get worried. If you’re sad, I get upset. When you smile, when you laugh,  it makes me happy. It drives me crazy. And maybe that’s bordering on love. I don’t know. But I really need you to stop flirting with everything that moves. Because I really want to kiss you. And I NEED you to like me back.”

Katya’s gathering her thoughts. She looks at Alaska skeptically as she stubs her cigarette. “Did you really mean that?”

Alaska looks a little offended. “You really think I’d pour my heart out like that if I didn’t mean it?”

Katya is silently looking at her. “THUNDERFUCKER!” This makes Alaska laugh. “I thought I was imagining things!” Katya shakes her head and turns to walk away but comes back quickly. “I’ve been trying to convince myself that there’s really nothing between us. That the shift in dynamic—“

But Alaska cuts her off. “This nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.”

“Ha! You’ve Got Mail! You’re such a girl!” They both laugh. And it takes them a minute to calm down. Katya takes Alaska’s hand. “I really want to kiss you, too,” she confesses. But she doesn’t move. She’s letting Alaska take the lead.

Alaska raises a brow and takes a step forward. She’s just gathered enough courage to kiss Katya when the van door opens to show a very pissed off Willam. “Let’s go! We’ve been waiting for you bitches forever!” she screams before slamming the van door shut.)

Alaska wakes up with Katya draped over her. She’s awake but Alaska tries as hard as possible to sleep in for as long as possible. Traveling does take a toll on the body. And honestly, she can feel the age settling in. It’s difficult for them to sleep in. They’re just naturally early risers, despite the late nights. “I’m so happy you’re back,” Katya says as she kisses Alaska’s neck when she realizes she’s awake too.

There are things that Alaska are certain of — That she has a warm bed to fall into at night although it’s not her own on most nights. That she’s got enough money to keep her comfortable. That she has a caring and somewhat overbearing family. That she’s got friends and sister queens who redefine loyalty, who love her in ALL her forms — tantrums or otherwise.

And Katya. At one point, she didn’t know what to make of her. She remembers Tatianna commenting on All Stars that Katya is very quiet but also really out there. Everyone in the room agreed. Including her. She still thinks Katya is an amalgamation of contradictions. But there is something so sure, so solid, about her. About them.

Katya starts to get up but Alaska pulls her in closer, “Don’t move, you’re warm.” And there it is. The warmth. She just wants to bask in the light that came off Katya because it’s warm and it’s good and it’s enough. She doesn’t know what it’s like to be cold anymore.