#lsfic

[cupidmarwani-archive]

Fly So High

Summary: No one trusts Crockett. (Little Sparrow: 1/2)

WC: ~1.4k

Warnings: Suicidal idealization, drinking, drugs

How many times has this happened? How many hospitals has he been shouldered out of because the other doctors, they don’t trust him. They never trust him to know what’s best because he figures it out faster than them. Crockett trusts his own intuition. He’s smart. He’s a good fucking surgeon, and no one trusts him. Only his patients, and what does that matter when no one else allows him to take care of them. 

He slams his hands hard against the wheel of the car. It doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing fucking matters as he drives home exhausted. The only person who trusts him is someone he’s training, and even that is on thin ice. It’s only a matter of time before Noah loses faith in him too. He had thought that maybe, maybe this would be a hospital where he’d be welcomed, where he could stay.

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Back at home, he goes straight for his medicine cabinet, overstocked and underused. Crockett promised himself when he came here that he would move past all this. He wouldn’t need it anymore. But he needs it. His cheeks are wet already when he curls his fingers around the white ribbed cap on one of his orange bottles. Prescribed before he left Louisiana, for when things got really bad and even he didn’t trust himself. Just the memory makes him feel like he needs this more. He hasn’t had a panic attack in months, isn’t about to have one now. Three pills, although his recommended dose is “one as needed.” This is as needed. He needs this. Three, coated in plastic and easy to slide down his throat. They need a chaser, though, and that part is easy. He’s still got three quarters of a bottle of bourbon sitting in the cabinet. Warm. He can feel it down his throat already as he walks to his kitchen.

It’s ten minutes after he takes a heavy sip of bourbon that he feels the xanax start to kick in, and it’s exactly what he needs after today. Crockett sinks down into his couch with a sigh, heavy bottle still in hand. He doesn’t have it in him to seek something harder at the moment, but this is a start. It takes the edge off today, and makes him feel just the slightest bit less like screaming and screaming until his voice goes hoarse and his ears stop working. 

He puts his phone on silent while he’s at it. He doesn’t want to hear from anybody at Gaffney tonight, or maybe ever, and it’s too soon to put in for another change. Another new hospital, another new group of people to please. He just wants to be respected, trusted. What’s wrong with him that it never happens? Why can’t he receive just the slightest amount of humanity?

Another long pull of bourbon that burns on the way down, and his head starts to swim. Pills and liquor kicking in, washing away the ache in his chest and pulling him down toward sleep so fast that he doesn’t bother trying to make his way to his bed. The soft mattress, warm blankets, sound like heaven. But he knows what this sort of high is like. He won’t be able to get there.

So he lays down and stretches out on the couch, lazily drinking a little more through it so he can stop feeling like this. He passes out fast, warm all over and no longer in pain when his eyes fall shut and his mind quiets. Quiet, peaceful, free. Finally unburdened by what the other doctors think of him. Crockett rests.

When he wakes up the next morning, his head hurts, and his phone is lit up with missed calls. So now they want his attention. The contacts burn against his eyes. Med’s general phone. Lanik. Goodwin. Choi. And countless texts trying to figure out where he is so they can bring him back in and break him down more. God, but he’s so tired. 

He chases his hangover with more bourbon, although there’s much less left in the bottle than he remembers leaving the night before. Time to buy more, he supposes. That’s doable. He doesn’t so much as pick up his phone as he rubs his eyes and stretches out the cricks in his back from sleeping on the couch. Rumpled scrubs. Messy hair. Alcohol on his breath. He’s messy, and he’s alive, and he goes back to the medicine cabinet. Another xanny to stave off caring too much what he looks like right now as he lumbers down to the corner store. Good bourbon is for worthy doctors. Cheap bourbon is for him, even if it burns and makes him throw up when he drinks it too fast.

They recognize him, when he gets there. His total is rung up on the till when he sets down his bottle, and the cashier smiles at him lazily. If he didn’t feel like such shit, Crockett might invite him back to his apartment for another time waster. But he’s tired. And he’s busy pitying himself. So he pays, he goes home, and he drinks to the melody of his phone’s low battery sound cutting through the phone calls still coming down on him.

“Fuck you,” he tells his phone.

It beeps at him one more time and dies.

Serves it right. He searches through his medicine cabinet for more, something more to take the edge off. He’s good on the xanax, and he’s still clear-headed enough to know that taking too many with the bourbon will kill him. Would that be so bad? 

There are other bottles in here, collected from psychiatrists trying to fix him and never getting anywhere close. He’s got a half bottle of prozac. Some loose lamictal. His xanax. There’s a baggie of skimmed oxy from his friend’s surgery way back when. The oxy might help. He really is a shit doctor, isn’t he? Taking pills from his friend. It was with permission, he didn’t steal them, but he still took them from someone who needed them more than him.

Either way, they’ll make the pain stop. He digs a few pills out and swallows them with the help of his drink, and then he’s okay. He’s okay, he tells himself, making it all the way to his bed this time and curling up in a ball atop the soft sheets. So soft. He should buy more soft things, he thinks to himself.

He’s on his own, and no one is coming to stop him. He can do whatever the fuck he wants, including shove his pants down and give himself some real pleasure, if he feels like it. A real person would feel better, but Crockett’s not in the mood to deal with it right now. And actually, come to think of it, any movement feels like too much effort. He can just lay here, for as long as he wants. 

Crockett’s eyes are heavy. But he doesn’t sleep. He hurts, He hurts, he hurts, he wants to scream until everything stops hurting so badly and there’s someone who comes to lay beside him and tell him he’s worthy. He’s trusted. He’s respected. That’s too much to ask, but it’s all he’s ever wanted or will want.

Please, to anyone listening, give him a reason to breathe. A reason to keep living when everything hurts so fucking much and he’s alone in the world. His patients, maybe, but he can’t help them. He can’t help anyone, and that’s why he’s here by himself getting fucked up and crying.

When he started crying, he isn't sure. But it’s happening. Not little tears, easy and quick, but fat drops rolling down his cheeks and choking sobs that he can’t breathe around. His bedding is going to be a mess. But it doesn’t matter, nothing matters, and he just wants it all to stop as he keeps drinking around each tear. He drinks until he stops crying, until he stops hurting, until the world around him is gone and he’s just laying there, cuddling a bottle like a long lost lover. 

He lays there for who knows how long, drifting in and out of fitful and unrestful sleep once the tears come to an end. He finishes the bottle. And at some point, there’s a lot of noise against his pounding head, and hands on his face, on his chest.

Crockett rests.

[bleusarcelle]

Legendary Station Fic - Chap 1

Seeing as I’m almost done with this fic I thought it was worth posting it on Tumblr? So, yeah, huray. Klance Radio Station Au or Klance Boradcasters Au. or College Roadio Station Au. Lol Idw

I’m gonna say the same thing I said when I started this fic; 

Here's the thing: I know shit about radio stations. Here's the other thing: I don't care, I'm still gonna write the Au. 

Disclaimer: Voltron doesn't belong to me, sha la la.  

"Voltron , 104.5; the legendary station!"

The slogan was followed by a celebration sound effect that did nothing to silence Lance’s booming voice, "And CongratuLIONS, Christian! You just won two tickets to the Balmera Crystals concert for next Friday!"

The brunet laughs as more screaming and whooping appears on the other side of the line, "Don't hang up on me, alright buddy? Green is gonna take your call and give you more details." A few buttons on his desk later, "Did you got it, Pidgey?" He asks out loud and smirks when Pidge flips him the finger.

"Don't call me that." She snaps and Lance rolls his shoulders back, satisfied with the answer.

Lance cracks his knuckles as he leans towards his microphone, "Alright, guys, let's get back to our thing! Remember there are still a few more tickets left, so keep calling and you might be next the lucky lion to win! Now, let's hear this new Voltron Release, courtesy of your Blue Paladin, and remember you heard it here first in —" he pauses and finger gun points at Pidge, who grins and let the slogan roll.

"Voltron, 104.5; the legendary station!"

"See you after a small pause, my peeps!" Pressing the off button by his side, Lance pushes down his wireless headphones and flashes a grin at Pidge behind the glass, who is rolling around the Main Cabin on her green rolling chair.

"What do you think, Pidge? How we looking with the numbers?" He asks through the microphone and Lance watches as Pidge lazily reaches to press the speaker button on her desk.

"Well, Mr. Blue Paladin, not to ruin your fun but you’re still below Red." Her voice echoes around the RC and Lance let’s out a shout, slamming his hands against the table.

"Que, que? That Emo Mullet doesn't even have the busiest hour of the day!" He cries out, waving his hands in outrage, his attention focused on Pidge that he misses the sound of the RC's door behind him.

"That's because the content I offer is actually good and entertaining." A bored voice reply to him and Lance turns to see Keith at the entrance of the Recording Cabin, leaning against the doorframe.

And, yeah, okay, it’s one thing to interfere during his hour, even though they’re in commercials, but this is Lance’s zone, okay? And Keith has no right to come in here with his tiny messy ponytail and his freaking outdated flannel and looking like the bad boy with a soft heart, and with his sunglasses on top, allowing him to see the Alexandria’s Genesis in him and it’s not fair, looking that pretty —

Anyways, the point is that Keith sucks. Yes, that was the point, and Lance will not stand it.

"Oh no, no, no, no, nope. Get out, this is still my hour." Keith rolls his eyes as he closes the door behind him and walks towards the other end of the cabin, waving off Lance and his pout.

"Relax, Lance, I left my material here yesterday and I need it for today’s hour." The young man explains as he gathers the bunch of papers and books on the end of the table, feeling Lance's eyes on him as he makes the small journey.

“Why’re you here so early, though?” Lance questions, arching an eyebrow as Keith gathers his notes at the end of the round table.

The Astronomy student shrugs, not bothering to look up, “I finished the class's activity earlier than expected.”

Lance rolls his eyes, “Of course you did, Mr. Top of the Class.”

The Korean man shrugs nonchalantly, “Pretty easy stuff.”

Lance is about to reply, because Jesus, Keith, Physic stuff are not that easy are you a purple alien? But his eye catches the movement of the Live Light coming back to life. Flashing an annoyed glare towards Pidge, who didn't look in the least remorseful, Lance quickly pulls back up his blue headphones.

"Alright, guys, and we're back! It’s time for favorite segment of this hour; that’s right, let me tell you about these incredible pickup lines I got for you in Pick Up Out Of The Blue! —"

Keith snorts loudly as he exits, barely dodging the flying microphone thrown his way. He joins Pidge on the Main Cabin, MC as they call it, with Lance's voice echoing around the small room, and they both listen as Lance goes through his usual pickup line session with his audience.

When he first suggested it on a Group Meeting, a loud ‘No’ echoed from all the members, but Lance, being Lance, didn't take no as an answer and the very next day tried his new idea out and as everyone cringed and groaned in the MC during his hour, the station's phone went crazy and Twitter went off with notifications.

For some reason, people found Lance’s corny and cringy pickup lines endearing and even some of them actually asked dating advice from him, giving him the option to create a new segment inside his hour.

Those poor souls.

Three weeks later and it was a big surprise when Lance's pickup lines were more than popular and the rating of his hour in the Station grew. Lance still doesn’t let them live it down; he declared that it was his millionaire idea to dethrone Keith from being the Most Heard Broadcaster in the Station, not that Keith cared if he succeed or not, because unlike Lance, Keith honestly doesn’t care about his ranking, no matter how much Lance insist on their so called rivalry, the ivory teen just want to give the audience the truth, because, yes, people, the Moon Landing was a fake, open your eyes —

"Now, hear me out, because this one is the premium one, ready? ‘Hey, girl! I think you're purrfect.'"

Both Pidge and Keith groan at the same time as Lance continues effortlessly, laughing as he reads some of tweets the audience sends him with their own pickup lines and reading them out loud: a usual dynamic between Lance’s audience and him.

There’s a reason why Lance’s hour is one of their most popular, even though not the most ranked one, and it’s because Lance makes it seem like a casual chat between friends and if there’s something Lance is good at is making friends.

"I swear, I still have the theory that most of people that listen to his hour are fuckboys." Pidge grumbles and Keith laughs, leaning with his hip against the end of Pidge’s desk, eyes focused on the Cuban Broadcaster.

"From all your theories, that has to be my favorite one." Keith jokes before returning his gaze towards Lance, his eyes almost fond as he watches the brunet to bark a laugh and wiping a tear from his eye when he finishes a particular funny line.

Pidge watches him from the side and hums, "Keith, tone it down a notch, I can feel your pinning." She says, smirking when Keith chokes and losses his posture.

"Pidge!" He hisses, narrowing his eyes and making sure that the speaker button wasn't on. The young girl laughs before raising her hands in mock surrender.

"I'm sorry, man, it's just so painful to see you sometimes."

"Shut up, Katie."

Pidge opens her mouth in mocking indignation and throws her Rubrics Cube at him. Keith laughs as he easily dodges it, sticking out his tongue playfully.

"Children, children, what did we say about throwing stuff inside the studio?" demands a new voice from the entrance of the Main Cabin, making both teenagers to turn meeting Shiro’s unamused look, arms crossed over his chest.

"Ah, well,” Keith starts, shrugging his shoulders, “This might be a good time to say we need a new microphone." He informs nonchalantly as he points at Lance with his thump.

The Latino catches the action, realizing he was mentioned and he flips Keith off with his free hand, not stopping his broadcasting and sends a toothy grin at Shiro as a greeting. Shiro waves at him but narrows his eyes in the promise of a future lecture.

He waits until Lance visually pouts before the former pilot nods satisfied, knowing that his message got through.

"Go get ready, Keith.” Shiro orders, putting his attention back to the teens in front of him. “Your hour is about to begin in ten." The black haired teen nods and exits the MC, heading towards the RC.

"You good, Pidge?" Shiro asks once Keith is out the door. Pidge nods, pushing herself back from the desk, leaving open for Shiro to take over.

"All yours, Black."

"Two minutes, Blue." Shiro says into the speaker and shakes his head softly with a smile when Lance salutes him.

Shiro and Pidge stay quiet as they listen to Lance wrap up his show and Keith enters the cabin slowly, taking seat by Lance’s side with his notes and picking up his own pair of red headphones.

“Sadly, my peeps, as everything in this life, good things must come to an end, and so does my hour of today. I know, I know, it’s pretty sad, especially when I’m leaving you with Mullet Man —“

“They know my name, Blue.” Keith interrupts from his end, tapping on the right ear of his headphones to make sure it was connected with the Station’s signal.

“Quiet, Red, this is not your hour yet. I still have ten more ticks.”

“Ten, nine, eight —“

“Wait, no! Stop, I haven’t finish –“

“Five, four, three —“

“Remember your brave Blue Paladin for the hero he was! He went down fighting the mighty old fashioned Mullet —!“

“Blue! Leave my mullet out of your monologue!”

Shiro sighs and rubs the bridge between his nose as Pidge cackles while reading through the station official’s Twitter. The show went on a commercial pause, cutting off the bickering of the broadcasters, and it has been around three minutes since the Live Light went off and yet both broadcasters are still wrestling for the microphone.

“I will not surrender!” Lance’s voice echoes in the MC, as he’s tries to push Keith’s hand out of his nose and cheek, which only makes Keith to press it further, “Voltron will live on!”

“You ass! I’m part of Voltron!” complains Keith, equally trying to get Lance’s hand out of his face by slapping him.

Pidge’s amber eyes glanced for a second towards the digital clock above the glass window of the cabin presses the Speaker button, “Hate to interrupt your Love Quarrel,” she ignores Lance’s shout of indignation, “but Lance, finish your make out session already and go to class, it starts in ten minutes.”

“I’m defending my honor, Pidge!”

“Defend it on the way to class, moron. Let's go!”

“Fine.” He grunts out, slapping Keith’s hands out of his personal bubble, “Just because Mullet keeps clogging up my pores.”

Keith rolls his eyes and squeaks when Lance ruffles his hair as he walks behind him. “Hey!” he shouts, glaring up at the brunet.

Keith tries to remember to breathe when Lance laughs and flashes him a toothy grin and throws him a peace sign over his shoulder. “See ya later, Mullet, don’t bore the audience to death with your conspiracy theories!”

It’s Lance’s turn to dodge the already broken microphone.

“I saw that one, Keith,” echoes Shiro’s voice around the RC, “and it's on you this time.”

“We have wireless headphones that are linked by Bluetooth, Shiro, we don’t really need microphones anymore!” Keith complains, pointing at his own headphones to make an emphasis, and at his brother’s unamused look Keith groans and waves his hand in the air, giving him permission to start his hour.

Shiro chuckles as he takes seat on Pidge's chair and presses the Live button, sending Keith a thumps up which the Korean broadcaster mirrors with a smile.

“My fellow conspiracy theorists, welcome to another one of our session, it’s the Red Paladin speaking,” Keith starts off, falling into his usual opening line with ease as he relaxes and leans back on his rolling chair, flipping through his notebook, “Do I have some juice for you today, guys. Have you ever heard about the Mothman?”

“His conspiracy theory of the week should be: ‘Is Klance real or a myth?’” Pidge murmurs under her breath, making Shiro laugh.

“Go do your homework, Miss Holt, just because you have online courses doesn’t mean you’re excused to miss deadlines.”

Pidge groans as she takes out her laptop from her bag and makes herself comfortable on the couch of the MC, typing away with Keith’s theories as background noise.

Once Lance enters the MC and gathers his stuff, she waves him goodbye, and Pidge smiles when he waves back at her with a bright smile and with a quick look, she can see the screen of his phone, letting her see the Radio App open.

She has an idea on what he might be listening to.

[umphangfuture]

C H A P T E R ‘thirteen’ - NC : CUT

เฮ้อ กว่าจะได้อัพ แถมร้องไห้เป็นภาษาอารบิก

แต่แหม  อ่านจบปุ้บอย่าลืมกลับไปเม้นนะคะ

http://writer.dek-d.com/dek-d/writer/viewlongc.php?id=1108975&chapter=15

ซอกจินเค่นเสียงในลำคอก่อนจะค่อยๆ ไล้ใบหน้านวลตัวเองจากแก้มของคนตรงหน้า และไล้ลงไปเรื่อยๆ ที่คอของนัมจุน  สาบานได้ว่าไม่ได้ยั่วเก่งอะไรขนาดนี้แต่..

อึก..

“กลืนน้ำลายทำไมล่ะนัมจุน.. J”

“ทำต่อไปสิ”

เสียงทุ้มต่ำของคนตรงหน้าทำให้ซอกจินรู้สึกสนุก  ริมฝีปากสีสดแนบชิดเข้าปากริมฝีปากหนาของนัมจุนทันที เสียงครางดังขึ้นเบาๆ เพราะมือเรียวของซอกจินซุกซนลงไปสารวนแถวๆ กางเกงของนัมจุน  ลิ้นร้อนแลกความหวานกันจนคนข้างล่งารู้สึกเสียวซ่านจนแทบไม่ไหว  นอกจากจะจากจูบของซอกจินแล้วมือเรียวที่วนเวียนแถวๆ กางเกงนั่นยังทำให้ร่างของเขาสั่นไหวจนแทบควบคุมไม่ได้  จินผละออกอย่างอ่อยอิ่งแล้วไล่ลงไปยังคอของนัมจุนพร้อมกับฝากรอยไว้

ในขณะเดียวกัน  มือหนาของคนข้างล่างค่อยๆ สอดชายเสื้อของซอกจินแล้วเลิกขึ้นไปหยอกล้อกับยอดอกทั้งสองข้างอย่างสนุกสนาน  คนร่างเพรียวชะงักก่อนจะโน้มไปกระซิบเบาๆ ที่หูนัมจุน

“ตกลงจะให้รุกต่อรึยังไง”

“ทำต่อไป”

เสียงเข้มๆ ที่สั่นนิดๆ ทำให้ซอกจินเผลอยิ้มออกมาในขณะที่มือเรียวกำลังปลดเข็มขัด ตามด้วยกระดุมกางเกงยีนส์ของคนตรงหน้าออก  คนร่างเพรียวก็สะดุ้งเฮือกเมื่อจู่ๆ มือหนาก็บี้ยอดอกสีสวยนั่นอย่างแรง

“หยะ.....อย่า...”

“อะไรล่ะ?  ทำต่อไปสิ”

“อื...นัม..”

“ถ้าพี่ไม่ทำต่อไปผมจะกลับบ้าน”

สิ้นเสียง  ซอกจินก็ล้วงกางเกงของคนตรงหน้าก่อนจะหยิบแก่นกายของนัมจุนออกมา  เสียงครางเบาๆ ดังขึ้นก่อนที่จินจะค่อยๆ รูดรั้งเบาๆ

“อา...”

“ชอบมั้ย”

“ไม่เท่าไร”

“คนปากดี”

คนร่างเพรียวลงจากตักของนัมจุนก่อนจะแยกขาหนาออก มือเรียวถอดกางเกงยีนส์และชั้นในของคนตรงหน้าแล้วโยนมันออกไปอย่างไม่ใยดี   ซอกจินโน้มหน้าเข้าไปก่อนจะเลียส่วนปลายมันเบาๆ  นัมจุนขบปากก่อนจะเงยหน้าขึ้นแล้วสูดปากอย่างเสียซ่าน  เมื่อคนร่างเพรียวกอบกุมแก่นกายของเขาด้วยปากสีสด  ซอกจินรูดรั้งมันอย่างช้าๆ พร้อมกับดูดเม้มเบาๆ ส่วนปลาย จนทำเอาคนร่างหนาแถมจะคลั่งตายไปกับการยั่วแบบนี้ของซอกจิน

“ฮ...ฮยอง  ไม่..ไม่ไหวแล้ว”

ซอกจินลุกขึ้นยืนก่อนที่จะโดนมือหนารูดกางเกงลง  ก่อนที่คนตรงหน้าจะถอดเสื้อออกจนเผยให้เห็นกล้ามเนื้อแน่นๆ ที่ซ่อนอยู่ในเสื้อผ้า  ซอกจินมองคนตรงหน้านิ่งๆ ก่อนจะโดนมือของนัมจุนกระชากเสื้อเชิ้ตจนขาด  ซอกจินโผนั่งบนตักนัมจุน จังหวะเดียวกันที่นิ้วของคนร่างหนาจะค่อยๆ สอดเข้ามาทางช่องทางสีสด

“โอ๊ย..!”

“อย่าเกร็ง อย่า..”

“อื้อ... ไม่.. ไม่..”

คนร่างเพรียวโอบคอของนัมจุนพร้อมกับฝังหน้าตัวเองลงบนไหล่หนานี่   ความเจ็บแล่นมาครู่นึงก่อนที่จะสูดหายใจช้าๆ  นิ้วร้อนที่ชักเข้าชักออกอยู่ที่ช่องทางด้านหลังงอครูดกับผนังอ่อนนุ่มและควงวนไปมาเพื่อสร้างความเสียวซ่าน

“อา.. พอ.. อื้อ..”

นิ้วร้อนชักเข้าออกอย่างรวดเร็วจนซอกจินต้องฝังใบหน้าตัวเองลงบนไหล่กว้างที่เปล่าเปลือยนี่อีกครั้ง  คนร่างเพรียวขบปากตัวเองด้วยความเสียว จนพูดออกมาไม่เป็นภาษาอยู่แล้ว

“จะเริ่มแล้วนะ”

“อะ..อ๊ะ  อื๊อ!!!!”

ริมฝีปากบางของซอกจินเผยอออกทันทีที่มีบางอย่างเข้ามาทางช่องสีสดของเขา  แก่นกายร้อนๆ นั่นกำลังดันส่วนปลายเข้ามาจนคนร่างเพรียวต้องจิกเท้าลงบนพื้นอย่างเสียวซ่านบวกกับความเจ็บที่แล่นเข้ามา  ครั้นพอจะยกสะโพกหนี ขาเจ้ากรรมดันอ่อนแรงส่งผลให้สะโพกที่กำลังยกขึ้นกดลงบนแก่นกายของนัมจุนจนเข้าไปมิดลำ

“อ๊า!!”

ซอกจินร้องออกมาในขณะที่นัมจุนเงยหน้าขึ้นอย่างเสียวซ่าน  ช่องทางของคนร่างเพรียวตอดรัดกับแก่นกายของเขาจนแทบทนไม่ไหว  ซอกจินค่อยๆ อ้าขาออกเพื่อลดความเสียวนี่ก่อนที่จะยกสะโพกกลมขึ้นก่อนจะกดลงไปยังแก่นกายของนัมจุนอย่างแรง  แถมยังลึกกว่าเดิม

“อื้อ..!”

จนกระทั่งช่องทางสีสดเหมือนเริ่มปรับตัวเข้ากับแก่นกายของนัมจุนได้  ซอกจินก็ค่อยๆ ยกสะโพกขึ้นพร้อมกับที่นัมจุนขยำสะโพกนิ่มอย่างมันส์มือ  ถึงแม้จะขยับช้าๆ แต่มันกลับหนักหน่วงจนขาของซอกจินสั่นไปหมด   คนร่างหนาจึงอุ้มร่างเพรียวขึ้นพร้อมกับที่ขาเรียวของจินโอบที่เอวของนัมจุนอย่างรู้งาน ก่อนที่หลังนวลจะถูกดันติดกับผนัง พร้อมกับที่สะโพกของนัมจุนกำลังโยก

“อึ๊... อ๊า!  นัม... อ๊า!! อ๊ะ.. อ๊ะ! แบบนั้น.. แรง! แรงอีก!  อ๊าาาา!!”

ซอกจินครางลั่นแข่งกับเสียงเนื้อที่กระทบกันและแผ่นหลังที่กระทบผนังอย่างแรง  นัมจุนค่อยๆ เร่งความเร็วขึ้นจนซอกจินเผลอจิกเล็บลงบนหลังกว้างนี่ด้วยความเสียวซ่าน  พร้อมกับที่ริมฝีปากสีสดของคนร่างเพรียวเผยอสูดปากด้วยความเสียวที่แทบไม่พูดไม่เป็นภาษา  นัมจุนทำเขาแทบจะคลั่งตายอยู่แล้ว

ปึก! ปึ้ก!

“อ๊าาา!  แรง.. อ๊า! อ๊ะ! อื้อ! อย่างนั้น !! อ๊ะ! อา...”

คนร่างเพรียวครางแข่งกับจังหวะที่ท่อนเนื้อเข้าออกถี่รัวพร้อมกับที่เสียงหลังของเขากระแทกผนังจนแทบจะบ้าตายคาอกหนาของนัมจุนอยู่รอมร่อ   ซอกจินโอบคอของนัมจุนก่อนจะแนบริมฝีปากร้อนๆ นั่น  ลิ้นสีสดแลกความหวานกันสักพักก่อนที่คนร่างหนาจะผละออกและถอนแก่นกายออกจนแทบสุดลำก่อนจะกระแทกเข้าไปในช่องทางของซอกจินจนไปโดนใส่จุดกระสันอย่างแรง

“อ๊า!!  ตรงนั้น.... อ๊ะ! อื้อ! อื๊อออ!!”

“ตรงนั้นสินะ”

“อ๊ะ.. มะ.. อ๊า! อา.. อ๊ะ! อ๊ะ! นัม..! อื๊อ! นัมม! อา... ไม่.. ไม่ไหวแล้ว อ๊ะ! แล้วนะ!”

นัมจุนไม่ฟังเสียงหวานของซอกจินแถมยังกระแทกไม่ยั้งเมื่อรู้ว่าจุดกระสัน��องคนร่างเพรียวอยู่ตรงไหน  ก่อนที่มือเรียวจะข่วนหลังหนาจนเลือดซิบและปล่อยน้ำรักออกมา  คนร่างหนาขยับตามสี่ห้าครั้งก่อนที่จะปล่อยตามออกไป

ซอกจินที่กำลังจะผล็อยหลับไปด้วยความเหนื่อยอ่อนก็สะดุ้งขึ้นมาอีกครั้งเมื่อน้ำอุ่นๆ ถูกฉีดเข้ามาในร่างกาย  นัมจุนถอนแก่นกายออกก่อนที่จะประคองร่างเพรียวที่ดูเหมือนจะไร้แรงยืนแล้วให้แนบชิดกับผนัง  ดวงตากลมช้อนตามองใบหน้าคมคายที่กำลังโน้มหน้าลงมาก่อนที่จะจูบอีกครั้ง  ความหวานที่ทั้งสองแลกให้กันก่อนที่สติของซอกจินจะพร่าเลือนไป  

[foreverwithyou-fanfic]

Capítulo 22 -

___ Essa oferta é meio difícil de recusar... – Falei enquanto bocejava

___ Então não recuse. Na sua casa tem piscina, certo senhorita riquinha? – Ela disse.

___ Tem sim, mas prefiro clube. Lá em casa as coisas não vão muito bem, problemas no casamento dos meus pais.

___ Por mim tudo bem. Avise a Malu, vocês duas passam aqui as 14 horas em ponto. Beijos. – Ela desligou sem ao mesmo me deixar responder.

 ___ Beijos. – Respondi ao celular, já que não havia mais ninguém na linha.

Acordei Malu que topou na hora o clube, tomamos café e ficamos mais um tempo conversando. Quando deu meio dia, fomos pra minha casa. Íamos direto de lá pra casa de Carol de onde íamos pro clube.

Escolhi um biquíni tomara que caia amarelo, coloquei uma saída de praia soltinha e peguei meus óculos escuro. Eram 13:30 quando saímos de minha casa. Nos encontramos com Carol na casa dela e de lá fomos pra um ótimo clube que tinha na cidade.

___ Como foi o aniversário do seu irmão ontem, Malu? O Caio não apareceu, aposto. – Carol disse enquanto estacionava o carro.

___ Não, ele não apareceu. – Ela falou

___ Vocês namoram ou não? Eu nunca vejo vocês dois juntos. – Falou Carol

___ Sim, a gente namora. Mas é que o Caio sempre ta muito ocupado e tal, fica difícil pra gente se ver...

___ Ocupado com o que? – Carol perguntou

___ Ah, com as coisas dele...

___ Você não acha que isso é apenas desculpa não? Sei lá, eu nunca gostei do Caio. Pra mim ele ta aprontando. – Falei pela primeira vez entrando na conversa

 ___ Isso tudo é implicância sua. Quer saber? Vocês me deram uma ótima ideia. Vou ligar pra ele e pedir pra que ele nos encontre aqui, pode ser? – Malu falou procurando o celular em sua bolsa.

___ Se ele não tiver ocupado com as coisas dele ta tudo bem. – Respondi já me preparando pra sair do carro. Já nos encontrávamos dentro do vestiário nos trocando quando Malu desligou o celular decepcionada.

___ Ele vem? – Carol perguntou

___ Não. – Ela disse

___ O que ele disse? – Perguntei

___ Que já tem compromisso pra hoje.

___ Não falou o que era?

___ Disse que tinha um aniversário na casa da tia dele. Talvez vocês estejam certas, preciso rever meu relacionamento com Caio. Mas melhor assim, tarde das garotas. Bora nos divertir, gatas! – Malu falou e a abracei.

___ É isso aí! – Exclamei entrando no clima

Nos trocamos e fomos pra piscina. A tarde foi maravilhosa, não nos divertíamos assim fazia tempo. Eu e Carol nem tocamos no assunto “Gabriel e Luan” e estávamos realmente bem. Já escurecia quando cheguei em casa.

Ao entrar, encontrei a casa vazia. Fui direto pro banho e meia hora depois quando sai, encontrei Léo no quarto dele. Fui até lá.

___ Toc, toc. – Falei da porta

___ E aí, Bia. – Ele disse

___ Como vai as coisas? – Falei me sentando ao lado dele

___ Confusas. O que ta acontecendo com o relacionamento dos nossos pais? Você faz alguma ideia? – Pensei se não era hora de contar tudo pra ele. Léo poderia me ajudar em pensar o que fazer, ele é tão filho quanto eu, merece saber a verdade.

___ Na verdade... Sim, eu sei. – Falei logo após um longo suspiro

___ E o que é? Diga-me.

___ Parece que... O papai ta traindo a mamãe. – Disse de uma vez

___ O que? – Ele falou surpreso

___ Uma vez a mamãe ouviu ele no telefone e desconfiou. Os dois brigaram, mas ele nunca assumiu. Então decidi seguir o papai depois do trabalho pra ver se descobriria algo.

___ E porque você não pediu minha ajuda? Porque me contou isso só agora? E o que você descobriu? – Ele falou agora já nervoso

___ Eu não te falei antes porque não tinha certeza. Eu vi ele realmente com uma mulher, o pior é que... – Comecei

___ Que...?

___ O pior é que a mulher era a Rebeca, Léo.

___ O que? – Ele disse sem acreditar

___ Eu vi nosso pai aos beijos com a nossa tia. A melhor amiga da nossa mãe com o marido dela.

___ Você tem certeza que era ela? – Ele continuou ainda sem acreditar

___ Sim, eu tenho. Tirei algumas fotos como prova, pode ver. – Falei lhe entregando meu celular. Ele viu as fotos e me devolveu indignado.

___ Como o papai pôde fazer isso? A mamãe já sabe?

___ Não, ainda não. Eu pretendia contar pra ela hoje, depois que ela chegar do trabalho. Mas tava pensando, não é melhor a gente contar pro papai que descobrimos tudo e pedir pra que ele mesmo conte? – Sugeri

___ Talvez seja melhor a gente falar com ele primeiro mesmo.

___ Ele chegará antes da mamãe hoje, assim que ele chegar falaremos com ele. Ou ele conta, ou a gente conta.

___ Como aquela vadia teve coragem? Ainda fica se fazendo de amiga... Ela tem que ta aqui quando a mamãe descobrir. – Léo falou pensativo e nervoso ao mesmo tempo

___ Em que você ta pensando?

___ Traremos nossa querida titia pra cá.

___ E como faremos isso? – Perguntei

___ Esperamos o papai chegar pra ter certeza que quando enviarmos a mensagem pra ela, eles não estejam juntos. Arranjamos um jeito de pegar o celular do papai e enviamos uma mensagem a convidando. Pensaremos em algo. – Léo respondeu

___ Ok, você ta certo. Rebeca tem que estar aqui quando a mamãe descobrir. – Falei e fui dar uma volta pelo condomínio, eu precisava pensar no que fazer.

Quando cheguei encontrei meu pai e Léo na sala.

___ Demorou, filha. Tava pensando em jantar com você e seu irmão hoje, estávamos te esperando. – Meu pai falou e troquei um olhar com meu irmão.

___ Eu ainda não terminei o macarrão, por que não vai tomar um banho, pai? – Meu irmão sugeriu

___ Ok, é melhor mesmo. – Meu pai respondeu e saiu subindo as escadas.

Esperei ele estar fora de vista e peguei o celular que tava no bolso de seu paletó.

___ “Preciso falar com você, to sozinho em casa. Me encontre aqui em exatamente 15 minutos, beijos.” Enviar. – Falei enquanto digitava

Peguei meu celular e liguei pra minha mãe. Perguntei quanto tempo ela demoraria pra chegar em casa hoje e fui respondida com um “Não passo das 22:30, o movimento hoje ta pequeno.”

Meu pai ainda tava no banho quando a campainha tocou.

___ Oi, titia! – Falei ao atender e ver Rebeca do outro lado da porta 

AMOOOORES, bom venho por meio desse preparar vocês. Sei que no momento to focando na situação dos pais da Bia, o que é uma história bem complicada e coisa e tal, mas os próximos capítulos prometem. Já escrevi até o capítulo 35 e sinceramente? Nem eu to acreditando em algumas descobertas... Porém, não vou falar mais nada. Espero que realmente vocês estejam gostando, pois se escrevo é pra vocês, se tenho essa fic é por causa de vocês, queridos leitores. Pode parecer até que não me importo, mas fico mega feliz e orgulhosa quando leio algum comentário bom sobre o que eu própria escrevi, o que eu própria criei. Continuem mandando suas opiniões, eu gosto de saber o que tão achando. Quero também desejar um feliz dia da mulher pra todas as leitoras e também para todas as luanetes desse universo. A gente se ver na Quarta, né? Beijos.

[cupidmarwani-archive]

And Feel No Pain

Summary: No one trusts Crockett. (Little Sparrow 2/2)

WC: ~1.6k

Warnings: Overdose, implied suicidal behavior

Ethan carries Crockett into the ED. Just driving him was faster than waiting for an ambulance, and he’s heavy but peaceful. Peaceful, but dead to the world. He reeks of bourbon, probably from the empty bottle Ethan had to pry out of his hand, and he has no idea what else he took because his pulse is weak, thready, and there was a whole pharmacy in his medicine cabinet. How did no one notice this? It’s clearly not a new problem. 

“Maggie,” he calls. She directs him to a room to set Crockett in, because at this moment he’s Crockett and not Dr. Marcel. And his heartbeat is so slow, so weak. His breathing shallow. Ethan wants to run a tox screen, but first he needs to find out if Crockett’s about to die. He’s dealt with so many overdoses, but they’ve never been someone he knows personally, he sees so regularly, he cares about more than he’d like to admit. 

Crockett’s hooked up to the monitors, and Ethan has to think, think. Anything Crockett took, it was orally. Pills and liquor. They’re going to need to pump his stomach, get an IV into him. His breathing, Ethan needs to check on his breathing. There’s so much to do and he can’t figure out where to start. He’s overwhelmed and now he can’t breathe either because Crockett is here, out cold, sick. He overdosed.

The worst thing Ethan can think of is that this was on purpose. All day, people have been trying to get ahold of him- Ethan included- with no luck until he literally broke down his door out of this exact fear. That Crockett hurt himself. 

Thank God for nurses, he decides, who put Crockett on the monitors and get a needle into his arm. Two way port, to draw or give. They’re calmer than him now. He forces himself to take a deep breath and pulls up his tablet to jot down what they’re doing.

“Run a tox screen,” he says. “I want his BAC and to find out what was in his system. He had a lot of pills in his apartment.”

“You brought him in?” Monique asks. She’s already drawing Crockett’s blood, red and thick. 

Ethan nods. “He wasn’t answering his phone, I was worried. He took a lot of something.”

It’s hard to forget everything Ethan saw in that apartment. The bathroom was full of pills. Some prescribed to him from definitely not-current dates. There were two sandwich baggies of loose pills. And there was the empty bottle of liquor in the living room, the second one in Crockett’s arms. Pumping his stomach will probably help. Ethan throws in that order too, but before any real progress is made, Crockett’s eyes open slowly. Blink shut again.

“Crockett,” Ethan says, a little more desperately than he means to. He pulls out his pen light. “Crockett, can you hear me? Open your eyes if you can hear me.”

They open just a little, just enough for them to squint shut again when Ethan shines the light into them. 

“C’mon, Crockett, open your eyes. Let me see you.”

This time, he doesn’t respond, and Ethan has to pull his eyes open to check for response. His pupils are dilated, but they do contract a little with the light, which is a good sign. He needs to take a deep breath.

“Is he conscious?”

Ethan taps his palm lightly against Crockett’s cheek a couple times. Nothing. “Not anymore. We just had him for a moment. Can you get me a mask for him? I don’t like the looks of his blood oxygen.”

She gives him one, and as she hooks it up to an oxygen tank, Ethan slips his hand underneath Crockett’s head and lifts it ever so gently to fix the mask properly. Crockett’s got a shadow along his jaw, sharp and prickly, that scratches Ethan’s hand. His skin is hot to the touch. 

“When you get a chance, hang some saline? He’s probably dehydrated.” Ethan doesn’t know why he’s still touching Crockett’s face. “I’m going to check in on my other patients. Let me know when his labs come back.”

He checks in on his other patients, but he can’t stop thinking about Crockett, glancing back at him and the way he lays there, so still. So quiet. In life, he’s always moving. Usually talking. But now he’s empty, and Ethan’s got a sinking feeling that Crockett isn’t going to wake back up from this. Not fully. His heartbeat is stronger, his stats improving, but he hasn’t made a movement since his eyes were briefly open. Ethan watches him during his loops and, in a moment of downtime, pulls a seat up at Crockett’s bedside and just watches him. Holds the hand not burdened with an IV. Watches his chest shudder up and down. He’s not dead, but he feels dead. 

“What are you doing to yourself, Marcel?” he whispers.

Crockett doesn’t so much as twitch. 

Ethan reaches up to push Crockett’s hair out of his face. It’s greasy, unwashed. Crockett wasn’t taking care of himself, was hurting himself. The lights are on but no one’s home, and Ethan wonders again what this means for Crockett. He may die. He could die, and Ethan doesn’t know what to do with that information. It doesn’t sink in. He can’t process the idea of sitting here and watching Crockett’s body give up on him. If only he would just wake up.

As soon as he thinks of that, like there’s a higher power listening, Crockett’s eyes open and he starts fumbling at his oxygen mask. 

“Hey, it’s okay-”

He tries to still Crockett’s hands, but Crockett doesn’t calm down. It isn’t long before Ethan figures out why. The oxygen mask still on, he throws up, and then Ethan is the one pulling it off of him so he doesn’t choke. In movies, in media, drug abuse and overdose are pretty and they’re peaceful. Drifting away without pain. Sometimes accidental, sometimes intentionally. This is not poetic art, but something nasty and twisted and painful. 

“Okay, okay,” Ethan says, rubbing Crockett’s back as he coughs weekly. “You’re okay. I’ll get you some clean sheets and a new gown, you’re okay.”

He meets Crockett’s eyes and it’s heartbreaking. He’s crying, and struggling to breathe again, and covered in his own vomit. There’s so much to be said, none of which makes it out of Ethan’s mouth because this just hurts. He’s never in his life seen someone so broken down. He does the only thing he can think of, and pulls back to force himself into the role of a doctor again. It’s easier to be a doctor. 

“Can you tell me what it is you took?”

His voice is so stiff. It’s barely his own, and the way Crockett looks at him makes him feel like a monster, so much so that he can’t manage eye contact. Instead, he stares down at his tablet with the account of what they’ve already done, what they already know. 

“You know you could have died.”

“Yeah,” Crockett croaks, and lets his head fall back hard against the pillow. He’s in bad shape. “I’m gonna sleep a little longer.”

Ethan starts to tell him no, but it’s too late. Crockett’s asleep again, and Ethan would rub his eyes but he still has Crockett’s vomit on his hands. He steps over to the sink and washes them for longer than necessary, trying to do something useful that doesn’t make him hate himself.

Just his luck, Curry is on her way by. Cleaning up that mess is a med student’s job. Even if it wasn’t, Ethan just can’t look at Crockett anymore right now. “Grab Doris for help and clean up the patient in six. He threw up on himself and passed out.”

He can’t bring himself to tell her who’s in there. She’ll know, though, once she sees. Everyone will see that Crockett was falling apart in front of them, and not a single person noticed just how badly he was doing. It took this to see his pain. 

Ethan busies himself until Crockett wakes up again, now in a clean gown and not trying to take off his oxygen mask so he can throw up. It’s a good time to check in on him again, decide if he should put up another bag of saline. He does, however, bring a cup of water with a straw because Crockett’s mouth must be so dry.

When he approaches again, the cup held out like a peace offering. Crockett takes it in a shaky hand and maneuvers the straw under his mask while he drinks it fast. It’s empty almost immediately. Ethan takes it away and he doesn’t have the words for a situation like this. No one does. There’s no way to explain how he’s feeling right now or how sorry he is for not realizing this sooner.

“When he has the chance, Dr. Charles is going to stop by,” Ethan says.

Crockett rolls his eyes. It’s a good sign, that he’s feeling alright enough to be an asshole. But it doesn’t negate what just happened, and so Ethan does a quick check-in to make sure he’s alright. Temperature is a little elevated, but nothing to be concerned about. His eyes can track movement, and his pupils are responsive to light. He can move all his fingers and toes. He doesn’t say a word to Ethan, just follows instructions, until the quick exam is over. Then, softly, he asks:

“Will you turn off the light when you go?”

Of course Ethan does, and he draws the curtains too. Out of sight, but not out of mind. For the rest of the shift, even after Dr. Charles’ evaluation and a visit from Lanik and Goodwin and Ethan forcing himself to stay away, he wonders if this was on purpose. He wonders what happens next if it was.

[umphangfuture]

C H A P T E R ‘FOUR’ - NC : CUT

แถวบ้านไม่ได้เรียกเอ็นซี 

เขาเรียกว่า..บทสังวาส =w=;

ก่อนอ่านต้องทำใจนิดนึงนะคะว่าไรต์เเต่งเอ็นซีไม่ค่อยเป็น..

อาจจะมึนๆ เมาๆ ตัวอักษรตกไปบ้างเพราะรีบอัพค่ะ

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"นายจะทำอะไรยุนกิกันแน่.."

"งั้นจินฮยองก็ฟังดีๆ แล้วกันนะครับ J"

สิ้นคำ ริมฝีปากร้อนของแทฮยองก็ฝังเข้ากับลำคอขาวนวลของยุนกิก่อนจะขบเม้มซ้ำกับรอยเดิมที่ยังไม่ทันจางหาย มืออีกข้างก็ล้วงชายเสื้อขึ้นมาหยอกล้อกับเม็ดสีชมพูอย่าวรวดเร็ว ปลายนิ้วร้อนของคนตัวสูงเหมือนมีไฟฟ้าสถิตจนทำให้คนตัวเล็กเผยอปากก่อนจะครางออกมา

"แท… แท…"

"อือ.."

แทฮยองร้องในลำคอก่อนจะไล้ต่ำลงไปจนถึงหน้าท้องและเริ่มซุกซนกับส่วนล่างของยุนกิ นิ้วเรียวไล้วนไปวนมากับส่วนนั้นก่อนจะกระชากกางเกงราคาแพงลิบที่ตัวเล็กใส่ออกอย่างรวดเร็ว ยังไม่ทันที่ยุนกิได้กระพริบตามือหนาของแทฮยองก็กอบกุมส่วนที่อ่อนไหวนั่นไว้และรูดรั้งเบาๆ

"อ๊า.. แท…"

"เป็นไง"

"ไม่เอา.. ปล่อย อาาา.."

"บอกให้ผมปล่อยแต่ร้องอย่างนี้เนี่ยนะ"

"อึก.. ไม่อะ.. อาาา.."

คนร่างสูงรูดรั้งอย่างรวดเร็วจนคนตัวเล็กร้องครางเสียงดัง แทฮยองปล่อยมือที่รวบมือยุนกิไว้ก่อนจะดันร่างตัวเองให้คร่อมคนตัวเล็กอยู่ ปากบางของยุนกิร้องครางไม่เป็นภาษา มือหนาของแทฮยองรูดรั้งช้าสลับเร็ว ทำเอาคนที่ถูกกระทำรู้สึกเสียวราวกับจะขาดใจตาย

"อ้ะ.. แท.. อื้อ แทฮยอง จะ.. อ๊ะ! อ๊า!"

"จะอะไร"

"มะ.. อ๊าาา.. จะออก อื้อ! จะออกแล้ว!"

สิ้นคำแทฮยองก็ละมือออกจากส่วนที่อ่อนไหวของยุนกิ ทำเอาคนร่างบางขมวดคิ้วด้วยความหงุดหงิดกับการกระทำของเด็กหัวส้มข้างหน้านี่ ยังไม่ทันจะได้โวยวาย แทฮยองก็พูดออกมา

"ทำผมสิ"

"…"

"รุกผมสิ ..แล้วค่อยไปด้วยกัน"

ตุ่บ!

ยุนกิพลิกแทฮยองลงไปนอนกับเตียงก่อนจะถอดเสื้อตัวเองออกอย่างหงุดหงิด กางเกงที่ถูกถอดถึงแค่เข่า เขาก็จัดการสลัดมันออกไปจนไม่เหลืออาภรณ์สักชิ้น มือบางถอดเสื้อของคนตัวสูงออกก่อนจะไล้นิ้วไปตามกล้ามเนื้อไม่มากไม่น้อยของแทฮยอง ก่อนจะไล้ลงต่ำและปลดเข็มขัดของคนร่างสูงออก

แกร็ก!

ยุนกิจัดการกระชากเข็มขัดราคาแพงลิ่วนี่ออกจากสะโพกแทฮยองก่อนจะหันมารูดซิปกางเกงยีนส์หรูนี่อย่างช้าๆ ตามด้วยดึงกางเกงออกจนเผยให้เห็นแก่นกายที่พองโตได้ที่แล้ว มือบางกอบกุมนั่นก่อนจะรูดรั้งมันเบาๆ

"อาา.."

"ชอบมั้ย"

"ไม่เท่า.. อ๊า!"

แทฮยองแทบร้องไม่เป็นภาษาเมื่อคนตัวเล็กโน้มใบหน้าบางลงมาและครอบครองส่วนที่อ่อนไหวนั่นด้วยและรูดรั้งเป็นจังหวะ แทฮยองหอบครางทุกครั้งที่ยุนกิดูดเบาๆ ที่ส่วนปลาย แต่ก่อนที่จะได้ ‘เสร็จ’ คนร่างเล็กก็ถูกแทฮยองพลิกตัวลงกับฟูกเตียง มือหนาจับขายุนกิแยกออกก่อนที่แก่นกายของแทฮยองจะจ่อเข้าที่ปากทางสีสดนั่น

"แท.. เดี๋ยว"

"ทำไม"

"กลัว.."

”..?”

"กลัวเจ็บ"

"นี่ไม่ใช่ครั้งแรกสักหน่อย" แทฮยองพูดก่อนจะโน้มตัวลงมา ริมฝีปากร้อนประกบกับริมฝีปากบางและแลกเปลี่ยนความหวานกันทันที ลิ้นร้อนของคนตัวสูงควาญหาความหวานในโพลงปากบางไม่หยุด จูบร้อนแรงนี่ทำเอายุนกิเผลอยกมือโอบคอคนตรงหน้าและรั้งให้แนบชิดกว่าเดิม ในขณะนั้นที่คนร่างเล็กกำลังเคลิ้มอยู่ แทฮยองก็ดันแก่นกายที่พองโตนั่นเข้ากับช่องทางสีสดอย่างทันทีจนสุดลำ

"อ๊าแท!!!!"

"อะ.. อย่าเกร็งสิ"

"เจ็บ…"

"อย่าเกร็ง.."

แทฮยองพึมพำก่อนจะค่อยๆ โยกสะโพกอย่างเป็นจังหวะช้าๆ เสียงครางของยุนกิเหมือนกับดนตรีบรรเลงให้แทฮยองเคลิ้มและค่อยๆ ออกแรงขึ้นเรื่อยๆ ริมฝีปากบางก็ส่งเสียงครางไม่หยุดยั้ง

"อ๊า..! แท! อ้ะ! แท..แท! อ๊ะ! อาาาา อื้อ! ร.. เร็วไป!!"

"ไม่.. อื้อ ไม่ชอบรึไง"

"อ๊ะ! อ๊า! อื้อ! อึก.."

"ตอบสิ"

"อ๊า!!!"

ยุนกิร้องเสียงดังเมื่อแทฮยองกระแทกเข้ามาอย่างแรงจนโดนจุดกระสัน ก่อนที่คนร่างสูงจะซอยถี่ไม่ยั้งไม่รอฟังคำตอบใดๆ จากคนร่างเล็กทั้งสิ้น

"อ๊ะ! แท.. อย่า! อ๊า! อ๊ะ! อย่าย้ำ! อ๊ะ! อาาาา"

"ทำไม"

"ส..อ๊ะ! อะ.. อ๊! เสียว! มันเสียว! อาาาา.. อึก พอ! อ๊ะ! พอ อาาาา"

"ชอบก็บอก"

แทฮยองซอยถี่และลึกกว่าเดิมเหมือนเน้นย้ำให้โดนจุดกระสันของคนข้างล่าง เสียงครางหอบดังไปทั่วทั้งห้องและดูเหมือนคนตัวเล็กจะไม่สนด้วยหากเสียงนั่นเล็ดลอดดังออกไปนอกห้อง เหงื่อเม็ดกาฬผุดบนใบหน้าของคนทั้งคู่ ก่อนที่ยุนกิจะร้องออกมา

"ไม่.. อาาาา ไม่ไหว อ๊ะ! ไม่ไหวแล้ว อาาาา"

"ทำไม"

"จะ.. อึ๊!! เบา! อาาา.. เบาหน่อย! อ๊าาา!"

แต่แทฮยองนอกจากจะไม่อ่อนแรงลงยังขยับถี่รัวไม่ยั้ง คนตัวเล็กได้แต่นอนทุบอกแกร่งพลางหอบครางแข่งกับเสียงเนื้อชนกันไม่หยุด ก่อนที่ยุนกิจะออกแรงพลิกตัวให้แทฮยองอยู่ข้างล่างและตัวเองอยู่ข้างบน

"ฉัน.. จะทำเอง"

"งั้นเหรอ"

"อ๊า!"

ยุนกิร้องอีกครั้งเมื่อคนข้างล่างเด้งสะโพกขึ้ยทั้งๆ ที่ยังอยู่ข้างในตัวเขา ก่อนที่คนตัวเล็กจะทุบอกแกร่งของแทฮยองและค่อยๆ โยกสะโพก

"ไวๆ หน่อย.. จะเสร็จแล้วไม่ใช่รึไง"

"อือ.."

สะโพกบางโยกอย่างช้าๆ ก่อนจะค่อยๆ เร็งความเร็วขึ้น มือหนาของแทฮยองลูบสะโพกบางและขยำมันส์มือก่อนที่จะเด้งสะโพกขึ้นไป ยุนกิร้องครางเสียงดังอีกครั้งก่อนจะโน้มตัวลงมานอนบนอกของคนตัวสูงอย่างอ่อนแรง แทฮยองจึงเด้งสะโพกขึ้นไปยั้งจนยุนกิหอบครางออกมาไม่หยุด มือบางไล้ขึ้นไปขย้ำเรือนผมสีส้มก่อนจะร้องออกมา

"จะ.. อีก! อ๊ะ! เร็ว! อาาาา.. เร็วหน่อย! แท.. แทฮยอง! อ๊า! เร็ว! จะเสร็จ..!! แล้ว! อาาาา"

พอได้ยินคนร่างบางร้องขอแบบนั้นใครล่ะจะใจร้ายอยู่ แทฮยองจัดการพลิกตัวให้ยุนกินอนบนฟูกเตียงและกระแทกไม่ยั้งและถี่รัว ริมฝีปากบางร้องครางไท่เป็นภาษา ก่อนที่คนตัวเล็กจะเด้งตัวขึ้นและโอบคอของแทฮยองไว้

"อีกนิด! อาาาา… จะเสร็จ! อึก.. แล้ว! อ๊ะ! อ๊ะ! อ๊าาาาา!!"

ยุนกิร้องครั้งสุดท้ายก่อนจะปลดปล่อยคราบขุ่นสีขาวออกมา และปล่อยมือออกจากคอคนร่างสูง ล้มตัวนอนบนฟูกอย่างเหนื่อยอ่อน แทฮยองขยับต่อไปสามสี่ครั้งก่อนที่จะปล่อยธารอุ่นๆ เข้าไปในช่องทางสีสด คนร่างสูงหอบสักพักจึงถอดแก่นกายตัวเองออกมา

กลับไปต่อที่เด็กดีด้วยนะคะ . อย่าลืมเม้นน้า -จิ้มที่รูปเพื่อไปเด็กดีก็ได้นะ-

[foreverwithyou-fanfic]

Capítulo 20 -

___ Moça, você vai querer fazer seu pedido ou não? – O garçom que estava me fazendo a mesma pergunta por minutos voltou a me chamar atenção.

___ Ah, oi. É... Traz só uma água, por favor. – Falei sem tirar os olhos da mesa aonde se encontrava meu pai e... Rebeca! Não, não pode ser. Meu pai está traindo minha mãe com a irmã dela? Mas isso é muito pior do que pensei. Como eles puderam fazer uma coisa dessas? A MELHOR AMIGA DA MINHA MÃE, A MELHOR! É impossível, eu só posso ter entendido tudo errado. Eles não poderiam ta fazendo isso... Mas calma, é claro que poderiam! Se não eles não estariam se beijando agora mesmo. Uma raiva fora do normal se apossou de mim, eu chorava sem parar e sem poder acreditar. Meu pai com minha tia, e ela ainda se fingindo de amiga com minha mãe. Aposto que a coitada deve ter contado da traição pra ela, e ela com toda certeza fingiu que se importava. Fingiu que estava do lado de minha mãe. Falsa. Então era esse o compromisso que ela tinha hoje? Não dava pra acreditar.

Tentei me controlar, mas era impossível. Se eu não saísse dali, não demoraria pra chamar atenção deles, e não conseguiria me controlar. Acabaria indo lá e falando verdades na cara dos dois, xingando dos piores nomes. Tudo o que eu não precisava agora era de um barraco.

___ Você está bem? – O garçom perguntou, logo após por a água na minha frente.

___ Não, não estou bem. Mas obrigada por se importar, já estou de saída. – Tomei metade da água, puis uma nota pra pagar em cima da mesa e sai do restaurante. Foi aí que percebi que estava chovendo. Então percebi também que havia esquecido minha blusa de frio na mesa, desanimada pra voltar segui sem ela.

Estava sem rumo, sem acreditar. Minha tia e meu pai se beijando num restaurante. A melhor amiga de minha mãe. A irmã de minha mãe. A responsável pelo fim do casamento deles. A melhor tia do mundo, em minha opinião agora se tornara uma completa estranha. Não sabia pra onde ir. O que fazer. Não poderia ir pra casa, pois Léo estaria lá e não queria explicar nada a ninguém agora. Não poderia ir pra casa de Malu, pois ela estaria ocupada certamente enchendo balões com mais várias pessoas em volta. Então apenas continuei andando, pela calçada com a chuva caindo sobre mim.

Estava a aproximadamente 40 minutos andando quando ouvi alguém gritando meu nome. Me virei e o encontrei na porta de uma casa, me chamando. Fui até lá.

___ Bianca? – Luan falou

___ É o que parece. – Respondi

___ O que você ta fazendo nessa chuva? Quer ficar doente? Ta maluca? Entra. – Ele disse tirando seu casaco e pondo por cima de meus ombros

___ Eu descobri algumas coisas e... eu não sei, eu não tinha pra onde ir. – Respondi

___ Você está bem? Parece que esteve chorando... Vem, eu vou cuidar de você. – Ele falou me guiando até a sala. A casa dele era pequena, porém muito bem arrumada.

___ É aqui que você mora? – Perguntei

___ É. Você não quer tirar essas roupas molhadas? Eu posso pedir minha irmã algumas emprestadas e se quiser tomar um banho eu pego uma toalha pra você... – Ele falou todo atencioso e pude perceber como ele se preocupava comigo. Foi inevitável sorrir.

___ Está tudo bem, Luan. Você ta sozinho? – Falei

___ Minha irmã ta na casa de alguma amiga e meus pais saíram.

___ Você nunca disse que tinha irmã.

___ É, eu tenho. Bruna. Ela é adorável quando quer, vocês se dariam bem.

___ Ela não estuda na nossa escola?

___ Sim, só que à tarde.

___ Ata.

___ Vou fazer um chocolate quente pra gente, que tal? Bom pra esquentar o corpo. – Ele falou

___ Não precisa, eu estou bem.

___ Eu quero fazer, Bia. Deixa de ser marrentinha e vê se aceita. – Ri

Luan foi pra cozinha e fiquei na sala olhando uns portas retratos enquanto o esperava. Depois de um tempo ele voltou com duas xícaras de chocolate quente. Estendeu uma pra mim e peguei.

___ Obrigada. – Respondi me sentando no sofá

___ Então, você está bem? – Ele disse se sentando ao meu lado

___ Na verdade... Não.

___ O que houve? Pode confiar em mim. – Ele disse e fiquei alguns segundos pensando e bebendo meu leite, sem dizer nada.

___ Ai Luan, eu estou destruída. – Voltei a chorar desesperadamente – Eu descobri que meu pai trai minha mãe com a irmã dela, com a melhor amiga dela! Com a minha tia que sempre amei e confiei... O casamento deles já não é mais o mesmo faz tempo, e não posso fazer nada pra ajudar! Eu não sei o que devo fazer, eu to sem rumo, sem direção, eu nem sei se consigo olhar mais na cara daquela vadia da Rebeca e meu pai... Eu não sei como ele teve coragem! – Falei entre lágrimas e soluços

___ Vai tudo dar certo, vai tudo se acertar... Calma. – Ele falou enquanto secava as lágrimas de meu rosto com uma mão

___ Não, Luan. Não vai... Eu nunca tive decepção maior, imagine quando minha mãe ficar sabendo? Ela vai sofrer mais ainda, ela vai ser infeliz, ela vai pirar e eu não aguento vê-la assim! Eu não aguento! – Desabei em outro choro e só depois que senti a mão de Luan me fazendo cafuné é que percebi que estava deitada no ombro dele enquanto desabafava.

___ Ei, calma... Eu to aqui, certo? Você fez o que precisava ser feito, sua mãe vai ficar grata quando souber que você correu atrás por ela. Tudo vai se acertar por sua causa, pense nisso. – Ele disse me abraçando forte com um dos braços

___ Você acha que eu deva contar? – Disse engolindo o choro e me acalmando um pouco

___ Se fosse eu no seu lugar, sim eu faria isso. Você precisa de uma água, já volto. – Ele falou se levantando, tentei ao máximo me acalmar e consegui parar de chorar. Alguns instantes depois Luan voltou com um copo d’água.

___ Obrigada. – Falei me preparando pra beber um gole.

___ Você sabe que pode contar sempre comigo, né? – Ele disse

___ Por quê? – Perguntei

___ O que?

___ Por que você é tão legal comigo? – Falei o deixando sem graça.

___ Eu não sei, não deveria ser? – Ele se sentou ao meu lado novamente

___ Normalmente poucos pessoas que conheço são tão gentis em troca de nada.

___ Você acha que eu quero algo em troca? – Ele olhava nos meus olhos

___ Eu não sei. – Olhei pra baixo

___ Olha pra mim, Bia. Eu to aqui. – Ele falou levantando meu rosto com uma das mãos. – Você é tão linda... Mesmo chorando, como consegue?

___ Eu não me acho linda. – Sorri

___ Aí sim, prefiro assim. Meninas como você não deveriam chorar.

___Como assim, meninas como eu?

___ Meigas, puras, inocentes. – Ele disse agora acariciando minha bochecha com seus dedos gordos

___ Não tenho certeza se sou tudo isso.

___ Você é, da pra ver apenas pelos seus olhos. – Ele falou agora se aproximando

___ Luan... – Sussurrei

___ Eu estou aqui, Bia. Sempre estarei. – Ele sussurrou no meu ouvido

___ Obrigada. – Sussurrei de volta, com os olhos fechados. Ele foi se aproximando de minha boca e quando estávamos quase nos beijando, ouvimos a porta se abrindo. 

Bora comentar o que tão achando? Mais coisas estão por vir, a gente se ver na Quarta \o/ Bjs 

[foreverwithyou-fanfic]

Capítulo 6 -

___ Eu acho que você não sabe o que significa ‘‘Vai devagar”. – Falei enquanto tirava o capacete e saia da moto

___ Ué, mas isso não foi rápido. – Ele riu

___ Ok, imagina... De qualquer modo, obrigada pela carona. – Falei soltando o cabelo que, com o capacete, estragara todo o rabo de cavalo.

___ Estou sempre a disposição se precisar. E posso falar só uma coisinha? Prefiro você com cabelo preso, deixa mais a mostra esse seu rostinho lindo. – Ele sorriu

___ Ah, legal. Bom saber, agora tchau. – Falei e praticamente corri pra dentro da casa de Malu

Encontrei ela no quarto guardando a bagunça de brinquedos que o irmão fizera enquanto morria de raiva.

___ Oi... – Falei

___ Ah, oi. Como foi a corrida? – Ela disse

___Normal. – Respondi

___ Chegou cedo aqui. Achei que vinha mais tarde...

___ É que vim de moto. – Por um momento ela parou de guardar os brinquedos e ficou parada, como se estivesse em outro planeta pensando em quem poderia ter me trago de moto.

___ Moto? Que moto? – Ela perguntou

___ A do Luan... – Respondi enquanto sentava na cama

___ O que? Que história é essa?

___ Eu fui da uma volta no parque depois de correr, então encontrei com Luan. A gente ficou uns 15 minutos conversando lá e falei que ia embora, aí ele ficou insistindo pra me trazer e tal. Até que eu cedi e aceitei... Vimos de moto até aqui. – Resumi

___ Wol.. Calma. O que rolou nesse tempo de vocês junto? – Ela parecia realmente esperar uma notícia fantástica

___ Nada. – Respondi

___ Nada? – Ela falou decepcionada

___ Ele falou que sou linda e que tenho um sorriso lindo e teve uma vez que até rolou um climinha e que se eu quisesse poderíamos ter nos beijado, mas não quis.

___ Por que não? – Ela disse sem entender

___ Porque a Carol ta gostando dele. – Suspirei

___ A Carol? Gostando do Luan? Você ta falando sério? Isso não vai durar mais que uma semana, Bia. Não conhece a peça?

___ Eu conheço o suficiente pra saber que ela ta realmente gostando dele. Ela disse que acha que ta apaixonada, Malu. Você já ouviu ela falar isso antes? – Falei

___ Sim e muitas vezes.

___ Mesmo que seja, ela ta afim dele e eu não vou ter nada com ele antes que ela desista. Não sou esse tipo de amiga, lembra?

___ Ok. Faça o que quiser.

___ Você acha que to errada?

___ Não, simplesmente acho que as vezes pensa muito no próximo e se esquece de você.

___ Não é bem assim...

___ É sim.

___ Calma, Malu. Eu conheci o cara hoje e você já ta nesse desespero pra me jogar pra cima dele, poxa.

___ Ok, foi mau. Hora do lanche... Vou destrancar o pestinha.

___ Ele ta trancado?

___ Aham. No banheiro. Inventei que era um novo jogo... Quem aguentar mais trancado no banheiro ganha. – Ela riu

___ Você é má. - Ri

Fomos comer o tal lanche já que eu estava faminta mesmo. Depois, fiquei mais uma meia hora conversando com Malu enquanto Gustavo atrapalhava todo o meu cabelo brincando de cabeleireiro e por fim, fui embora. Cheguei e casa e fui direto pro banheiro, aonde tomei um banho caprichado. Puis roupa de dia a dia e corri pra internet.

A noite, comemoramos o aniversario de nossa mãe jantando em uma pizzaria e quando cheguei em casa estava tão exausta que nem pensei em fazer mais nada a não ser dormir.

No dia seguinte acordei cedo, tomei meu banho, troquei a roupa, terminei de me arrumar e desci. Hoje já que estava com mais tempo, me sentei pra comer uma tigela de cereal, depois de satisfeita sai rumo à escola. No caminho, um carro parou do meu lado e descendo o vidro percebi quem era, Gabriel.

___ Olá senhorita. – Ele falou

___ Olá. – Respondi

___ Quer uma carona?

___ Não precisa, obrigada... – Tentei continuar andando, mas ele me obrigou a parar com um grito.

___ Entra aí, eu não mordo. – Ele abriu a porta e não tive outra alternativa a não ser entrar no carro

No caminho, falei o mínimo possível e ele parecia perceber que eu estava o evitando. Tenho que admitir que pensar Gabriel me trazia lembranças de quando éramos namorados, e aquela época foi boa... A não ser a parte em que eu nunca gostei dele o quanto que ele gostava ou gosta de mim. Isso me deixou com culpa e talvez seja esse o verdadeiro motivo da nossa separação, mas como ele pensa que é porque ele era ciumento ao extremo acha que ainda pode consertar as coisas. 

Amores quero deixar aqui o meu sincero pedido de desculpas, sei que prometi postar o capítulo ontem, mas realmente não teve como. O clima aqui em casa está tenso, minha mãe pegou meu not ontem e a fic ta lá então foi ímpossivel. Mas, nos vemos no sábado, de qualquer forma. Beijos!