#luigi is the superior brother. yeah i said it

[anomander-dragnipurake]

Bowser's Castle Chapter 8: Don't Need Saving

[A/N] I said I wanted to update again at the end of January or start of February and I am! Yay! Even despite the fact that I don't have as much of a backlog as I would've liked before posting another chapter. But I kept my sort of promise and I am working on this fic again, just slowly because it's not my main project. So when's the next chapter going to come out? I have no idea. It might be a while though if I decide I want to get a good backlog of chapters going again before updating so don't hold your breath. I'm excited to be working on this fic again though.

~

“We’ve managed to cast basic protections over the castle. Of course, making exceptions for our boos and dry-bones is something we’re still working on. I have also found a suitable candidate to spy on the Boo Kingdom, ready to be seen by you at your leisure, sir.”

As Kamek spoke Bowser paced in what little space the secret room behind the throne room had to offer. He stopped now to look at Kamek, standing in front of the part of the wall that turned into the door. “That’s it?” It’d been more than a week since the whole thing with Luigi and King Boo, Bowser had expected more. “He didn’t show up at all?”

“I would’ve informed you if he had.”

If it were Bowser, he’d have gone for vengeance the next day. … Maybe that was why he struggled to properly enact his vengeance so much though. Perhaps taking time to properly plan and do whatever King Boo was doing was the way to get things done. … Nah! He’d lost to Luigi three out of four times, not a good win rate at all. Bowser’s way was still clearly superior. King Boo was not only being a fool in whatever patient planning he was going for he was also being a pain. Bowser wanted his easy victory sooner rather than later; he was starting to get bored of this.

“Damn coward.” With a huff Bowser started pacing again. Why had he decided to hold this meeting here again? It’s not like a spy overhearing it would have anything useful to pass on to anyone. “Send the boo spy to me tomorrow around noon.” He wasn’t in the mood to deal with that right now.

“Noted. Now, out of curiosity, how goes your plan with Luigi?”

Bowser stopped pacing again to looking properly down at Kamek. “You’ve seen it so you tell me.” He may have originally invited Luigi to dine at his table purely on a whim but it had proved to be a genius move in that it had set a precedent to invite him every night. After being fed such great food and treated like a high-ranking minion, Luigi had to be so thoroughly on Bowser’s side by now he’d probably be almost willing to betray Mario.

“I still have my doubts and believe you’re being friendlier with him than is wise. Even if we did save him and even if he is now officially your minion, he’s still Mario’s brother and thus not to be trusted.” No doubt that’s why he’d asked the question because he’d wanted a chance to say that. He almost never agreed with Bowser’s intuition about people and always went out of his way to make that known. Yeah sure, he was often right, but this time he was wrong. “Letting him stay at the castle is one thing but having him dine with us and letting the kids talk to him unsupervised as much as they have been may not be a good idea. It puts him in a good position to spy on us even more than whatever spy the Mushroom Kingdom already has watching us.”

Maybe he had a point but Bowser had already made his decision. “I have it under control.” During the occasional run in and sub-sequent conversations they’d had, Bowser was careful not to reveal anything important – he always was when it came to practically everyone except for Kamek and sometimes the kids. Rarely was anything important discussed at dinner. And the kids were all smart enough to know not to tell secrets to just anyone… probably anyway.

Kamek was silent for a few seconds before replying. “Of course you do. Your people skills are as sharp as your spikes, Your Royal Astuteness. Now sir, if we’re done here, I have work to get back to.”

“Yeah, yeah, dismissed.”

With a wave of his wand Kamek vanished in a puff of smoke. Bowser took a step towards the secret door, lifting a hand to open it but paused before actually doing so. His spikes weren’t sharp; maintaining them as such was more effort than he was willing to put in. Did Kamek know that though? … Maybe not, they did look sharp after all and thus it was an easy assumption to make.

With a shrug, he opened the door and stepped out. He waited for the wall to finish closing behind him before stepping out from behind the throne’s dais. He intended to keep going and head off to take his boredom induced frustration out on something but paused instead as his eyes met the goomba’s standing in the middle of the room. It was too late to pretend he hadn’t seen them either, they were already rushing over.

“Lord Bowser sir! Mario’s here! He said he’s come to save his brother. But E. Gadd’s here too and said not to worry about him and that he would make sure he didn’t cause trouble. We weren’t sure what to do and they were insistent about being let in and E. Gadd’s never been barred entry before so we let them in. Captain sent me to tell you but that was a while ago because no one could find you so I don’t know what’s going on anymore.” They spoke so fast it was almost hard to understand their words especially as they hopped from to foot during their whole spiel.

Normally Bowser would’ve been furious to learn that Mario had been just let into the castle basically uncontested. This time though he had a surprise weapon. It was a bit earlier than he would’ve liked but whatever, King Boo was failing to show up to finish being dealt with while Mario had delivered himself to his doorstep. He’d gladly accept the opportunity to rub Luigi being on his side and his minion in Mario’s face. “I’ll handle it.”

***

The green dress did actually look good on Luigi, better than Peach’s. He’d never had a problem with wearing dresses but also he’d never had one fitted specifically for him. It made more of a difference than he would’ve thought both in terms of how it looked as he examined himself in the newly added full-length mirror and how it felt on his body as he swiveled the skirts a bit. It was comfortable and looked good. He’d have to thank the tailors later when he…

The bedroom door slammed open. He yelped, already gathering his skirts up so they wouldn’t trip him as he ran away from the danger even as he turned to look at it.

“Luigi!” Mario shouted as he jumped in.

Letting out a heavy shaky breath, Luigi relaxed as Mario ran over to give him a hug. They’d talked on the phone almost every day but it somehow felt like a long time since they’d last seen each other in person.

“I’m here to rescue you!” Mario said as he stepped back, grabbing onto Luigi’s wrist to try to tug him towards the door.

Luigi pulled back. “I don’t need saving.” He’d already been saved.

Mario scowled but obediently let go of Luigi’s wrist for now. “It’s Bowser though, Bowser.”

“We’ve been over this.” Several times on the phone until Mario had seemed to drop but apparently he’d only been biding his time until he got here in person to bring it up again. “But, uh, now that you’re here in person I can finally tell you…” Luigi took a step closer and leaned in, lowering his voice to a whisper. “I was thinking that I could spy on him for you.” Bringing up his vague idea to convince Bowser to be better likely wouldn’t be met favorably by Mario and thus there was no need to bring it up when things were already this tense. “So that I’m not being totally useless while hiding here. I think I’m actually in a good position to…”

“No. It’s too dangerous.”

Despite his initial relief Luigi was already tense again and had to struggle to keep a calm demeanor. “Leaving is what’s too dangerous. King Boo’s still out there. And he’s mad at me still… even more than before. If I leave he’ll get me for sure.”

“No, no.” Mario shook his head as if to emphasis his point. “We know what to expect now so we can fight him off when he shows his face again. You don’t gotta rely on Bowser and Kamek.”

“We already talked about…”

A familiar bark cut him off, making him jump to look at the door again. Polterpup barked again before rushing over to zip around Luigi and Mario in a circle a few times before lifting his paws up onto Luigi in demand of pets. Which he got of course even if, seemingly unlike him, Luigi hadn’t gotten over their last encounter. Obviously the bite had been for King Boo but it had still hurt and even now still wasn’t fully healed yet. He was a good boy though, deserving of a bone if only Luigi had one.

“Hey, sonny.”

Once more Luigi’s gaze was drawn to the door. E. Gadd now stood within it, breathing heavy as he leaned into the door frame. “Your bro sure can run fast, huh? Almost as fast as you when you’re fleeing from ghosts.” He chuckled as if that were funny. “Anyway, I brought Gooigi too, as promised.” He stepped into the room, allowing Gooigi to step in behind him. They raised their hand in a greeting as well.

Luigi returned it. “Hey. It’s good to see all of you. I missed you guys.”

“I brought the Poltergust 3000 that you had stored in your room, safe from King Boo’s wrath.” E. Gadd went straight over the bed pulled it off his back to plop it down on the bed. “I would’ve liked to bring the upgrade I was working on and was almost done with but it was in my lab so it’s a small piece of the mess in there now. We will have to make due with this old model.” His tone typically quite jolly grew a bit bitter with those words. “My lab being in such a state also means however that I don’t have any other ghost hunting or even detecting equipment. We’ll have to depend solely on Kamek for a bit. Which shouldn’t be a problem. Knowing him, he’s probably been…”

“No,” Mario interrupted again. “I already told you, I’m gonna convince Luigi to come back home with us.”

“And I already told you I’m not going back yet. I’m safer here.” He was thoroughly convinced of it now. During dinner and while hanging out with the Koopa Kids he’d overheard or straight up been told of the preparations Kamek and the magikoopas were taking to defend the castle from King Boo. It wasn’t exclusively for him of course but because Bowser had angered King Boo and that likely meant King Boo would attempt vengeance on him too. Knowing the castle would be attacked wasn’t a pleasant thought but if he left, he’d be exposed and hunted down for sure. At least here he had a chance. “And… and I know I’m a coward but… I don’t… I, I can’t face him again. I just can’t.”

Honestly, he'd always felt that way and had only done so to save Mario. Now though, it was even worse than before because what if King Boo possessed him again? Maybe expecting it, he’d be able to fight it but… could he really win in any mental battle against King Boo? Probably not. And then, having been forced out once, King Boo would likely be far more careful not to end up in such a situation again. Dooming Luigi to his whims until he decided he had enough fun and either killed or put Luigi in a painting.

“And you won’t have to,” E. Gadd said, the bitterness gone from his voice. “With Kamek’s help I’m sure we’ll have King Boo under control as soon as he dares show his face here. So really Mario, there’s no need to make a fuss.”

Mario shot him a glare before turning a concerned look onto Luigi. “Is this about how I couldn’t do anything? All those times you saved me from King Boo and then when you needed my help against him I…”

“You couldn’t do anything but I could.” It was Bowser coming through the door now, wearing a smug grin that grew as Mario turned to look at him. Bowser walked right past him, placing himself next to Luigi before turning to face him. “I saved Luigi after you failed to.” He put a large hand on Luigi’s shoulder, pulling him closer. “And now he’s my loyal minion.”

Mario’s face grew red with held in anger as he clenched his fists and glared up at Bowser. “I… I… thank you for saving my brother. But he’ s not your minion and I’m not going to let you keep him locked up here. Is that why you want to stay, Luigi? He’s making you?”

“No.” Nor was he staying because he was afraid of what Bowser might do to him if he left. “And as I was telling you earlier before you interrupted me, I, uh, am kind of Bowser’s minion now.” He winked, hoping Mario would get it because he liked his little plan to spy and maybe convince Bowser to stop being a bad guy. He was a weak coward but he was determined not to be useless any longer.

Bowser chuckled triumphantly, his hand still on Luigi’s shoulder, jostling him slightly. He was surprisingly not being overly rough though. Luigi could probably easily escape his grasp if he wanted to. There was no need to yet though.

Mario took a step back. “That’s dangerous.” At least he got it though and didn’t assume Luigi actually meant he agreed with the idea of being Bowser’s minion. “Far too dangerous.”

“I assure you he’s perfectly safe with me.” The smugness in Bowser’s voice and possessive hand on Luigi’s shoulder was a good reminder that this was indeed dangerous. He was clearly viewing Luigi as a pawn here to get to Mario and that wasn’t a position any wise person would relax in. But regardless Bowser had already proven himself to be not as bad a guy as he seemed so...

“Yeah. I’ll be fine here. Trust me.” Luigi put more confidence into his words than he felt right now but he was staying here no matter what so he was going to do his best to enact his plan too.

Mario flexed his hands, his gaze going from Bowser to Luigi and back again. “I can’t stay here with you to help protect you though.”

That was downside but there was no choice. “I’ll be okay, I promise.”

And with that all of the fighting spirit seemed to finally drain from Mario as he let out a heavy sigh. “Okay. But you,” he pointed at Bowser, “you’ll pay if you ever hurt him, got it?”

Bowser chuckled again even louder and more triumphantly than before. “I’d like to see you try.”

Mario’s only response was to take a deep breath before turning and marching out. Probably for the best otherwise a fight between him and Bowser would likely break out sooner rather than later.

“Ha-ha!” Bowser patted Luigi on the back. “That went even better than I thought it would. Keeping you around was the best idea I ever had.” He stepped back at last, moving to the door as well; his business apparently done here. “That dress looks good on you by the way, be sure to wear it tonight during dinner.” And with that, he was on his way out too.

“Hmm… that went well.” Whether E. Gadd was being sarcastic or not was hard to tell as his tone and expression remained jovial. “I should probably be off too, got to talk to Kamek about our now shared ghost problem. I’ll leave Gooigi and the Poltergust here though in case you need them.”

“Okay. Thanks for coming.”

“Of course. See you later, sonny.” Unlike the other two when he left he had the manners to close the door softly behind himself.

With a sigh, Luigi looked around the room. Polterpup had run off somewhere, probably chasing a ghost scent or something. That was perfectly all right though, he could use some quiet time with just Gooigi as company. He’d have to catch up with Mario later but for now he should probably show Gooigi around and make sure they knew that Bowser’s boos were temporarily on their side and thus not to be vacuumed up.

[streaks-of-lavender]

So here's a fun fact about me. I hate Princess Peach. In fact, hate might be an understatement. I despise her with the deep, burning, all consuming rage usually reserved only for politicians and corporations. I hate the toadstool princess exactly as much as I hate The Great Gatsby.

There's no real reason for this. I have absolutely nothing against people who do like her. She just annoys me beyond belief, to the point that whenever I play a game like Mario Kart or Mario Party, my primary objective isn't to win, it's to do better than her while yelling insults whenever she appears on screen. I hate that she's rich, I hate her boyfriend, I hate her stupid pretentious "Did I win?" When she knows full well what she's done.

Anyways, someone who I follow (and enjoy following!! This is Not About Them as a person or blog) has been reblogging a bunch of Princess Peach stuff, so I keep seeing her on my dash, and was filled with so much pure, unfiltered dislike that I made a whole ass post about it. That's it. That's the post. I just really, really hate Princess Peach for some reason and wanted to bitch about her face daring to appear on my dash