#lumhs

[brokenmug]

Several times I thought about writing here, once again, especially in the past few months, when you came up in my emotional existence for far too many times. Oftentimes, it was sudden, and unexpected, the most common being the sight of your white car. And what do I do in such a situation? Stop, or trail behind, not knowing what I would find. A part of me wants to put that picture I took, so maybe I would. Because ages pass by, yet I can't stop doing it - as now it's partly become a part of me - to move my eyes to the number plates, especially turning my head for that white model. And a few lucky times I found yours. Perhaps twice.

But what's special today, that I finally found myself back here, in my extremely beloved, digital diary, where I have kept the deepest feelings of my heart for over a decade now!? I think I know, as it's past December for one reason, which now suddenly reminds me that I've kept coming back here every November too, for last few years. Except this time. Which, again, is one proof of my sincerity towards anything, and a personal satisfaction. Yes, I kept my mind occupied, sincerely trying a way out. But the second reason, to be here, is the other half of me, which never dies, and doesn't surprise me anymore either. From same November, I had been subconsciously waiting for today, when I'll be back in that place, where hearts met and broke. This was an opportunity a good old friend led me to. And here are.

45 minutes into this, I'm finally feeling the high of dry gin... Yes, this was another plan, to have a general sense of good feeling till the next night, when we are going to get high again, this time at the main campus, where this was never expected. It's fun to even imagine that, drinking right in front of my former professors and colleagues, in the center of my university where we once studied... Haha, where have we come!

But the real question is, as anyone would have guessed and might have asked me...

Coming back after sometime... This beautiful song, my own song, is getting played on youtube stream of one of my brothers on the other side of border, Shokat, is playing... This sudden high was unexpected but truly out of this world... Raja Ko Rani Se Pyar Hogaya...

[postsofbabel]

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[topgradepk]

Alhamdulillah! Alishba Imran From Rahim Yar Khan Secured Admission in MBBS at LUMHS with the Help and Guidance of Topgrade. You Can Achieve New Heights in Your Life Too. Get Yourself Registered at www.topgrade.pk

[fatchance]

Lumhe “Micco” Sampson demonstrates the Thunderbird hoop dance. 

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

BAM! You've been hit with a love dart! Spread the love and send this to 10 other people to show how much they are loved!

direct hit

[nirentertainmentt]

Ye Dard Ke lumhe

[brokenmug]

I don't know what to write anymore. It's like, a millionth ending... And it feels just weird to be writing about this at all now.

But I guess it's one last month, and I'm really letting you go this time. Why? What's different this time? It's because you broke not my ego, not my arrogance, but my confidence and my trust that I had been keeping all those years, despite totally believing it to be the fault of both of us, that ultimately separated us forever. Yes including mine. I always thought of you. Believing you would come back. But you didn't. As I believed then, and I believe now, you lied. I don't want to blame you, I don't want to put you down, I don't want to hate you; you'd be the last person I would do that to, AQ. But that's what you've always shown me. I kept telling myself that I could have misunderstood, you could have your reasons of doing what you did, even the lie of getting married, which didn't happen for ages after that. I have often said it to myself, and I'm sure I have said it to you as well, that you have broken my ego one too many times. Yes, I let it break, whenever it came, because it was not worth keeping you away. Nothing was ever above you - sometimes not even my self-respect, something I never ever compromise on. I forgave you, AQ. Too many times. Even when you married!!!!!!!!!

For years I told myself to let go because I believed it would be WRONG for me to see you, talk to you, even think of you! You know that! Years later, I would talk only to express my condolences, my sincere feelings for your dad. That's how we started again, much to my surprise. Because I never expected that. I did not! Despite thinking about you all those years, especially the end of previous year and the following months, I made a promise that I would always, always love you and wait for you! But I broke that promise myself over what I would hear - something I told you too, and that would really hurt me for a long time. So I never expected you to continue talking to me, let alone talk about our old days!!!! Why would you do that???? And you do the worst: you make me hopeful again!!!!!! And then break that hope again!!!!!

You know I should hate you AQ! I should! And you tell me even worst things: you reveal to me how everything was a lie by saying how you and your family were looking for potential partners when we were apart!!!! Could you have not teared my heart apart instead????? Is this something to say???? And then you don't even ask me if I were thinking about you!!!! And you go on with whatever stupid decisions are taken - it's what your DAD SAID that you told me!!!!

AQ, this is where it ends. This last thing, the last thing I mentioned is where I was hurt the most, and yet tried to ignore that part, telling myself that you probably realized the grave mistake of your life by giving me hopes again... Again, and again, and again in these 6 months that we talked... But I was wrong. And I decided, I finally decided. It's been about 50 days or something we haven't talked... Because that's how I ended the conversation last time... I wouldn't lie, it was partly intended to see your response, that you would say something, at least ask something... And in some parallel universe, somehow, maybe even try to stop me... But you didn't AQ.

In these last few weeks, I have been thinking about you a lot. But these are the last. When we met last year, and started talking, and meeting, I thought my 2023 would be entirely different from my past. I was wrong. The same things are happening which happened 10 years ago. And I won't let it be so, not the rest of the year... And not because I don't love you, not because I have some new motivation or awakening inside me to realize something I didn't before. But because, you have broken my trust in you, broken my confidence in my love, broken the strength of my feelings. You have broken me one too many times AQ... One month, and I'm gonna sort everything I ever had of you... And even if I can't out of any procrastination or something, I will erase every memory that can be erased which I can. Just when 16 July ends, you'd be gone AQ.

I hardly ever cry, I almost never cry AQ. But I have cried for you a thousand times, no, a million times. That's how strong my feelings were, that's how deep we together went into that ocean, somehow where I only stayed and I didn't realize when you left. Two days ago I was doing the same, at this hour, reading older writings on this very blog. And I had to write all of this. Tonight, I was checking the stories I had shared on Instagram this year to understand what happened, how and for how long. I just wanted to see patterns. And it was no different than what it was YEARS ago! Decade ago! You come and you go, you come, and you go, and this never stops... Never. Until now. Except that one time when we separated - which was actually due to us not being physically bound to one place, our uni anymore - I never actually let go of you. It was always you who did. And it doesn't even matter if you'd deny that, because you have always denied that and I'm not lying either, so I believe in what I just said. But this time, I'm letting you go for the second, and the last time. And THAT'S how, it's different this time. I won't let you be in my life even if you came back. No, AQ. I can break all my egos, my principles, my passions for you, and I did. I even let my self-respect aside by saying that self-respect and true love go side by side, and that they cannot be apart. But that's when love is reciprocated, and believed in. You never did, so what's all the fuss? Self-respect cannot be hurt again and again, even when one person truly loves the other. I cannot let you be in my life anymore, even if you came back burning the ships behind you. A part of me tells me I should hate you AQ, but I have truly loved you and there's a part in me that I know will never stop loving you either. Even though there will always be a soft corner for you, it's useless to say that I might melt if you would plead and accept all the wrongs, because that's not happening any day. Never. I don't see that happening and I can't know what I would do then. But, you lost me AQ. You could have treated me right, and you'd always have my back and my shoulder if you were to ever come back. But no, AQ... I can't be made hopeful and be hurt like that again and again. It's been too long for that. And so is this writing. I have said everything, and have said things in the past. I doubt there's anything important I have missed. These are all my feelings, for someone I truly loved.

A few weeks, and it will be over. And I really don't seem to care right now how you move forward with your life. I should be indifferent too. I don't think I'll write again before that day comes. And don't talk to me, don't text me. I don't wish to come back writing here again and I wish this to really end.

Typing all this for 46 minutes, in my phone, even when you're not there on the other side to respond... Have you, ever?

Finally, I have always wanted you to somehow come across my blog and read it, except this time. I really don't want you to read this anymore, because I don't want you to see how I expected or expect of you in any way from now on. Also, what's love if you have to ask for it?

[paragonadvisors]

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[postsofbabel]

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[xage93]

No Man's Sky. #sky #colors #blue #red #purple #clouds #watertower #watertank #jamshoro #sindh #silhouette #clear #clarity #lgg4 #dng #raw #snapseed #lumhs (at Jam Shoro, Sindh, Pakistan)

[444names]

irish and georgian forenames

Aifri Ailbhlait Aine Ainn Ainndry Ainsta Aisín Aithach Aithinín Aitlín Aitri Akakid Amarghean Ambrón Amearach Amera Ames Anamheal Anid Anin Anán Aodaich Aoibhine Aoigín Aoin Aoinnán Aoirfhín Aoirse Aois Aoistín Aolche Aolcholm Aolán Aolás Aonn Aorgh Aorgus Arbhán Arianang Aridhe Arán Asmhn Badh Bagairdh Bainn Bait Baodh Bari Beach Beachan Beachne Bear Beara Beán Blaoinn Blia Bliach Bliodhnan Blán Braolus Brean Brearn Brene Brinn Brósa Buarónán Bulin Béamheach Caina Cait Caithna Calgarra Calgh Cannlas Caodargus Caoighus Caoin Caolmán Caolusli Caoraith Cathne Catsaelín Ceariúdás Chonn Ciamann Ciargheán Ciltán Cilíomhne Cinaith Cinn Cinnán Ciochán Ciodhanic Ciodhra Clochán Clodh Clín Cobh Cobhlais Colch Colualla Colán Cona Conch Conchtnas Conghar Connatev Conntóiri Cosaodh Coscaoigi Coseas Crin Críom Críos Crón Crósaella Cuaid Cuath Cuimhache Cuinn Cuirean Cuiri Cárlac Cúch Cúchán Cúmha Cúmhán Damaev Damhóg Dandán Dantait Dantán Daoibhfhi Dard Darry Davyd Deacheach Deachán Deagoina Deanailín Dearry Death Demit Dena Denach Denán Dera Dervivia Diamhalli Didhán Domás Donait Dubhall Dubhín Dulnait Eamaomhar Eanneab Edorna Eibearnán Eibhín Eidh Eidhónán Eidigneam Eighidh Eigi Einsing Eireameam Eirramh Eóirtúr Faoillait Faolm Faortín Feac Feace Feacheard Feal Fear Fearionn Feasán Feir Feireana Fell Fera Fiah Fian Fianchal Fiarbrab Finn Finnán Fionna Fiothar Fitra Fitriú Flait Flan Flaoirin Flono Florch Fodh Fodheach Fodhnait Fáil Féibhach Féighal Féignal Féim Fétan Féth Féthbhear Féthnach Fíonn Fíonnach Geighdín Giobóirt Gionnchán Giorchúr Glán Gorch Grain Grear Grán Grás Guli Gura Iall Iamatri Iliani Iongiz Iriam Iriya Itra Iulibh Ióseárla Jana Janmhna Jann Jemitlín Jostín Kakher Ketev Konait Laimhín Laislias Lait Lana Laolm Leich Leileál Lernán Liaitre Lino Lochí Lomhlanna Lomth Lomóileab Lubhflon Lumh Lumhín Mael Maeli Maelioda Maid Maifrilín Maithin Maithinna Manailís Mann Maoilt Maoirgus Maomthin Marearnán Marlaitha Marlas Martas Marthre Masaoth Meal Meighile Meli Melís Meri Miodh Mirí Monnín Muibhna Muill Muilín Muilís Muireal Muirna Murach Muracht Murchán Murearnán Mushke Mziach Mziar Mích Mídeas Mídecla Nachus Nelín Nian Nikeli Nindán Ninn Ninn Nual Nóisín Nórla Nórleal Oibháin Onialan Oniaríon Oniko Onionach Oseán Ostomáir Ostéadh Paat Paatha Paht Peachal Peamh Pearóird Peighual Peilt Peilín Peir Piltán Proib Pádra Pádre Póirenas Rach Ramharra Rathel Rian Rochara Rogán Roibhóna Roilín Roir Rosa Roscarch Roscat Rostín Ruad Ruadria Rualailt Ruir Réadha Réanya Rídín Ríonne Rócht Róidhaolm Róidheamh Róin Róireal Sacheal Sadan Sall Samach Saonn Seard Sene Sephnait Siala Sioch Siodabh Sliann Sora Sorlann Stan Stéadh Séalbhall Séam Séamh Séaoiltán Séasa Síleán Tamasaeli Tamh Tamhn Tamháróna Tana Tarmla Taín Tedjandid Tedjaniel Tedonm Tena Thal Tiadhne Tighala Timeig Timeigh Ting Tinnéadh Tion Tiotha Toire Tonn Torcheán Torna Tuarmaidh Tuaráilín Téalgh Uadhan Uadhna Uaibhán Uais Uibhch Uimearcht Uireach Uirín Ulia Vaht Vanic Vena Venas Veni Zemathy Zourairrd Áict Áinach Éagán Éamain Éamaodh Éannas Éarghalli Éibheard Éibhlach Éighum Éimhna Éingi Éinéamhón Éirear Étan Órfhonmch Órlan Únlachyra Únlas

[shahbazalee-blog]

#LUMHS #Style #Fashion #Travel 

[nirentertainmentt]

Ye Dard Ke lumhe

[your-janiz]

Liaquat University Jamshoro Admission 2022 Last Date

Liaquat University Jamshoro Admission 2022 Last Date

Undergraduate Admissions Program ( MBBS / BDS ) · IT Training Registration · Quality Management Policy – LUMHS · Source: Liaquat University Jamshoro Admission 2022 Last Date

[hamzaaslam]

World Heart Day: Speakers ask to avoid risks of unhealthy diet, tobacco, alcohol

World Heart Day: Speakers ask to avoid risks of unhealthy diet, tobacco, alcohol

HYDERABAD: To mark the World Heart Day, Red Cresent Institute of Cardiology, Bilawal Medical College, Liaquat University of Medical & Health Sciences  Jamshoro arranged a “Public Awareness Walk” followed by a Seminar  at Red Crescent Institute of Cardiology Latifabad.  Vice Chancellor LUMHS Prof. Dr Ikram Din Ujjan expressed that World Heart Day is a campaign established to extent alertness…

[rouuxrouge]

cryinh sjiddign fardding rn ;-; shaking screaming bawling tearing ripping out lumhs if you will boohoo

Soukoku is really fucked up... but that's why they work

Dazai and Chuuya do not have a normal relationship, however you want to define that (platonic or romantic). Without the context of their backgrounds, it reads as like... really fucked up. And that's true, to an extent, but to eliminate their circumstances is to do them a great disservice, in my opinion

First of all, I'd like to acknowledge that I'm fully cognisant of the fact that skk were not written to be a romantic pairing— Asagiri simply does not intend for them to be perceived as such. That being said, this does not mean that audience interpretations of a media are invalid. I ship skk, and as such this analysis may include my romantic interpretations of them as a pair and i acknowledge this bias at the same time that I acknowledge the validity of my interpretation.

Let's look at Chuuya's background first. He has little to no memory of his life prior to 7 years old, when he was separated from his family and treated as a government experiment. After his escape, he was an orphan on the streets taken in by a group of fellow orphans. He quickly rose to be the leader and protector of this group, who would eventually literally stab him in the back when he was manipulated into working with and eventually joining the Port Mafia. He spent his teen years with a suicidal maniac as a partner, watched countless friends and a clone of himself die, and found out a literal god was living in him, forcing him to question his humanity.

Dazai's past is much less clear. We don't know what his family was like, but we know that Mori recruited him after discovering him after a suicide attempt and began grooming him as the Demon Prodigy. He was forced to be an accomplice to a murder, and was constantly manipulated by and possibly physically abused by Mori. He was known for his coldness and was feared by many as a monster for the majority of his teenage years, and was expected to eventually become the boss of the Port Mafia through assassinating Mori, which the latter was paranoid about. Finally, one of his best friends betrayed him and the other died in his arms when he was eighteen years old, something plotted out by Mori, which resulted in his defection from the organization.

As teens, skk had a weird relationship (and that's putting it lightly). There was a certain level of contempt they held for one another. Chuuya resented Dazai's pessimism and lack of regard for others, and Dazai resented Chuuya's emotional and aggressive nature. Yet, they both had a deep understanding of one another that no one else really seemed to have at the time. They recognized one another as human when the individual himself did not. They had full faith and trust in each other, not allowing each other to die despite their disdain. It was complicated, and it wasn't quite healthy... but it was pretty damn good considering they were traumatized children in the Port Mafia.

There's a certain level of abusive behavior between them as teens, and I won't ignore that. Dazai played a large part in manipulating Chuuya into entering the mafia, and Chuuya insulted Dazai's suicidal and depressive nature a lot. Dazai found pleasure in causing Chuuya pain, both physically and emotionally. Chuuya literally has a list of torture techniques to use against Dazai. This is why I often stray from portraying an established romantic relationship at this point in their lives. I don't think they understood who they were fully yet, and sometimes projected their issues onto each other. Even if they were in love at that time, neither of them would have been ready for that type of commitment. I also just think they were too emotionally constipated to get to that point, anyway.

Something that I do love about their relationship as teens, though, is how they let each other be kids. Their bickering and arguments were childish and dumb, but that's the closest thing they had at the time to being normal teenagers. Amongst all the doom and gloom that surrounded them in the mafia, they knew that they could always go to each other and have a mindless argument or competition. In a way, this is how they reclaimed their stolen childhoods.

We see this when they're adults, too. In their first encounter in four years they tease each other about the same things as before, slipping right back into their childish banter. It's silly and immature, but that's how they operate. They allow each other to have that, and I really love this aspect of their relationship.

I think there's something to be said for how their time apart was good for them. Dazai is most clearly in a better place than before. Sure, he's masking a lot of the time, and he's still clearly suicidal, but I think the work he does with the agency is more fulfilling than at the mafia. He has more of a purpose, even if it's just to stay true to his promise to Oda (though I do believe it's more than that now). At his core, he's still a suicidal pessimist who finds humanity utterly disgusting and doesn't quite consider himself to be human, but I think there's a level of contentment of what he's doing with his life.

It's less obvious how Chuuya has changed, but I think that he has. He exhibits more self-confidence and maturity than in his teen years. He's more capable and well-rounded as an executive, and it's a personal headcanon of mine that in Dazai's absence, he was forced to pick up some of his skills of perceptibility and deduction. I think he is in a better place than before, as well, especially because he was able to establish himself independent of Double Black. He has also settled within Port Mafia, recognizing them as his family, which means he, too, is likely more content.

So as adults, they display less of the abusive behaviors than they did previously. Of course, there's still a certain level to which they're abnormal. Their jokes and quips about one another are sometimes quite dark, and there's a certain level to which Dazai still exhibits power over him when it comes to deciding to use Corruption. But that trust is still there, despite their time apart, and so too is that understanding of each other. They're not perfect by any means, but given their traumatic upbringings... they're kind of perfect for each other.

There is the fact that they want to kill each other. I'll admit that I struggle to explain this aspect, but I'll try my best, because I think it's not as bad as it sounds. I just think it makes sense for them. They're both sorta unkillable, so this aspect of their rivalry denotes a certain respect for each other. It's also a matter of likely knowing that they actually won't ever kill each other (and no, this isn't me being in denial about ch. 101, I fully believe that Chuuya is not dead, there is no way he's going out like that). This is one of the more complex aspects of their relationship, but when you add it to everything else we know about them, it just sorta works. I mean... thinking of ways to kill your partner for 7 years? That's kinda gay.

At the end of the day, skk keep each other in check and allow each other to have fun. They trust, know and respect each other, and though they claim to hate each other, I really don't think this is true. It's much more than that. They're rivals, they're partners, they're soulmates! And honestly, that's what makes them so goddamn interesting.