#maarten cop

[bornoo7]

I got stopped by a lady cop. St. Maarten felt good.

[ulkaralakbarova]

An aging thief hopes to retire and live off his ill-gotten wealth when a young kid convinces him into doing one last heist. Credits: TheMovieDb. Film Cast: Nick Wells: Robert De Niro Jack Teller: Edward Norton Max: Marlon Brando Diane: Angela Bassett Burt: Gary Farmer Steven: Jamie Harrold Danny: Paul Soles Jean-Claude: Martin Drainville Laurent: Serge Houde André: Jean-René Ouellet Albert: Claude Despins Sapperstein: Richard Waugh Sapperstein’s Cousin: Mark Camacho Woman in Study: Marie-Josée Colburn Man in Study: Gavin Svensson Tuan: Thinh Truong Nguyen Cop: Carlo Essagian Drunk: Christian Tessier Storekeeper: Lenie Scoffié Tony: Bobby Brown Philippe: Maurice Demers Guard: Christian Jacques Guard: Henry Farmer Guard: Dacky Thermidor Guard: Gerard Blouin Old Engineer: Charles V. Doucet Worker: Pierre Drolet Bureaucrat Official: Norman Mikeal Berketa Ironclad Tech: Eric Hoziel Janitor: John Talbot Thug: Richard Zeman Thug: Nick Carasoulis Special Appearance: Cassandra Wilson Special Appearance: Mose Allison Man at Airport (uncredited): June Järvenpää Film Crew: Original Music Composer: Howard Shore Editor: Richard Pearson Director: Frank Oz Director of Photography: Rob Hahn Story: Kario Salem Screenplay: Lem Dobbs Producer: Lee Rich Screenplay: Scott Marshall Smith Producer: Gary Foster Production Design: Jackson De Govia Costume Design: Aude Bronson-Howard Script Supervisor: Rebecca Robertson Casting: Margery Simkin Key Makeup Artist: Francine Gagnon Key Hair Stylist: Corald Giroux Makeup Effects: Matthew W. Mungle Construction Coordinator: Alain Brochu Supervising ADR Editor: Marissa Littlefield Sound Effects Editor: Paul Urmson Story: Daniel E. Taylor Art Direction: Tom Reta Set Designer: Félix Larivière-Charron Camera Operator: Nathalie Moliavko-Visotzky Dialogue Editor: Nicholas Renbeck Art Department Coordinator: Genevieve Ferderber Set Designer: Lucie Tremblay First Assistant Director: David Sardi Boom Operator: Markus Wade Music Editor: Suzana Peric Property Master: Denis Hamel Art Direction: Claude Paré Rigging Grip: Alain Brouillette Supervising Sound Editor: Ron Bochar Stunt Coordinator: Jean Frenette Set Decoration: K.C. Fox Production Manager: Alain Gagnon Set Designer: Céline Lampron Greensman: Ray Légaré Boom Operator: Nathalie Piche Still Photographer: Phillip V. Caruso Steadicam Operator: Angelo Colavecchia First Assistant Camera: Maarten Kroonenburg Location Manager: Michèle St-Arnaud Prop Maker: Patrice Jacques Set Designer: Charlotte Rouleau Sound Re-Recording Mixer: Lee Dichter Special Effects Supervisor: Louis Craig Chief Lighting Technician: Jean Courteau Production Coordinator: Victorine Tamafo Set Designer: Claude Lafrance Foley Editor: Kam Chan Dialogue Editor: Fred Rosenberg Stunt Coordinator: Bud Davis Armorer: Julie Coulombe Art Department Coordinator: Michelle Drolet First Assistant Camera: Tony Rivetti Sr. Sound Effects Editor: Lewis Goldstein First Assistant Editor: Richard Friedlander Art Department Coordinator: Michel Bouchard Foley Editor: Frank Kern Dolly Grip: Alain Masse Production Controller: George Lakes Armorer: Brent Radford Executive Music Producer: Budd Carr Executive Producer: Adam Platnick Executive Producer: Bernard Williams Stunt Coordinator: David Leitch Movie Reviews: JPV852: A go-to for a solid heist-thriller that features two great performances by De Niro and Norton with honorable mention to Brando who looked a little worse for wear. Not the top notch in the genre but still a breezy but still suspense-filled watch if you don’t want anything thought-provoking. Still makes me chuckle that it was Frank Oz to be the one to direct three generations of great actors… **3.75/5**

[lostxndbroken]

[TIME TRAVEL] a starter where my muse time travels to another time and meets your muse (Any of the boys who have a medieval verse like Finan, Arthur, Bran, Maarten..)

Geralt was holding his sword, his yellow cat-like eyes scanning all over the place, listening to where that bastard had run off to. “Stop tucking your tale between your legs and face me like a man, not a goddamn wizard…” The Witcher growled.

A portal was opened right before Geralt and he took a leap back, not liking them in general but now even less. As he turned around a piece of wall pushed him right to the things he tried to avoid, the portal.

The other end of the portal opened somewhere mid-air and caused Geralt to fall down into something metal, the crash caused a horrid sounds to bellow in his ears and instantly got off. “Where…” The Witcher drew his sword back in his hand. All the sounds that overwhelmed his ears! Screams came from some who saw Geralt use his sword on a car, causing it to leak.

It perhaps took fifteen minutes before a load of cops came by and an ambulance. The reason they managed to shoot something calming into the Witcher’s system was because it was overloaded with the car sounds, city, people, everything and the sirens of those machines didn’t help either. Three shots in, the Witcher was knocked out…

Where he woke? Was a whole plain simple room with nothing in it but a bed, where he was strapped on.

[hopetofantasy]

wtFOCK cast & crew facts

Femke Van der Steen (Jana) has been together with Jonathan Michiels (Viktor) for more than two years now.

Lars Brinkman (Milan) is part of the LGBT+ community and performs in theatre pieces involving the community as well as gender diversity.

Cassandra Krols (Marie) and Maarten Cop (Luka) were dating in real life, when they played a couple in S1. According to their insta, they split up.

Nathan Naenen (Senne) was already mildly known for a role in the Flemish soap ‘Familie’. He also played minor roles in series like ‘Dubbelspel’, ‘Altijd Prijs’ and the LGBT movie ‘North Sea Texas’.

Nora Dari (Yasmina) was a field reporter for the radio program ‘Generation Stronger’ (Red Nose Day 2019). She interviewed different teens and activists about the pressure of being a teenager nowadays. In the past, she played a minor role in the movie ‘Patser’, directed by Adil El Arbi and Bilal Fallah (Bad Boys For Life) and the movie ‘Ghost Tropic’, viewed at Cannes filmfestival. 

Maarten Cop (Luka) didn’t reprise his role in wtFOCK for season 3, because he’s busy shooting the kids tv series ‘Hoodie’, a tale of a modern day Robin Hood fighting criminals with parkour skills. A discipline Maarten already mastered very well (according to his insta). 

A huge part of the cast studies/studied at film and art colleges: Nathan Naenen, Femke Van der Steen, Willem Herbots, … However, Veerle Dejaeger (Zoë) is enrolled at a Brussels’ uni for commercial engineering.

Noa Tambwe Kabati (Moyo) is a dancer, choreographer and dance workshop teacher in his spare time. He is/was part of different dance crews focusing on urban, hiphop and afrohouse dance styles. 

Writer Bram Renders has experience with creating realistic, teen tv shows. In fact, his uni thesis project has been adapted as one of the first youth series on the Flemish children channel. ‘W817′ was controversial and way ahead of its time in the 90s. It dealt with topics like drugs, sex, body image, sexism, aids, suicide, mental health, LGBT+, … It’s still airing on the channel today, as it still holds up perfectly.

[bleachblondebitches]

Appreciation for the Wtfock guys

[sebsdaniel]

I just finished a Belgian show called 'Hoodie' in 6 days and now I've to wait for S3 until March... I can't. It's amazing😩 Also dubbed soon to English I read online.

I just love the main character and the actor so much it's nuts. Help😂

[inge-universe]

Peter Römer, Appie Baantjer - Baantjer 90 - De Cock en moord op stand @baantjerhetbegin @peter.romer #baantjer #appiebaantjer @uitgeverijdefontein Bij Baantjer deel 90 De Cock en moord op stand (geschreven door Peter Römer) zit een uniek miniboekje met een teruggevonden manuscript van Appie Baantjer zelf: De Cock en moord als verlossing. In dit teruggevonden manuscript, dat ongeveer een kwart van de gewoonlijke omvang heeft, geeft Baantjer ons een setting en de aanzet van het plot. Het is dit keer aan zijn lezers om het verhaal af te ronden met een verrassende ontknoping… (schrijfwedstrijd is afgelopen) In augustus komt 91 uit. Ik kan niet wachten. Wie heeft dit boek al gelezen? Wat vond je er van? ............ Inhoud: * De Cock en moord op stand Op een ijzig koude ochtend krijgt De Cock de melding dat er een lijk is aangetroffen in een antiquariaat in de Handboogsteeg. Hij worstelt zich een weg door de ijzige wind, om te belanden in een klein zaakje dat vol staat met oude boeken, waarvan de muffe geur hem op de keel slaat. Tussen de opgestapelde boeken ligt het ontzielde lichaam van Maarten Janszen, de eigenaar. Als zich nog geen tien minuten later een journalist meldt voor een interview met Janszen, komt De Cock te weten dat de antiquaar een bijzondere vondst had gedaan: een bundeltje liefdesbrieven van een beroemd persoon! Maar zou zo’n vondst reden voor moord kunnen zijn…? * De Cock en moord als verlossing Het miezert en De Cock en Vledder hebben late dienst. Het is rustig op de Warmoesstraat en De Cock filosofeert volop over zijn pensioen. Juist als hij besloten heeft maar eens een keer op tijd naar huis te gaan, en met zijn jas al aan bij de deur staat, komt er een melding binnen: er is een lijk gevonden op het Stenen Hoofd. De Cock en Vledder rijden erheen voor nader onderzoek. Al snel blijkt dat deze moordzaak de start is van wat wel eens een lange avond kan worden… ............ #bookstagrammer #bookstagram #bookstagramnl #bookstagrammers #boekstagram #instabook #dutchbookstagram #instaboek #dutchbookstagrammers #dutchbookstagrammer #boekenwurm #booktrovert #newin #nieuwbinnen #bookmail #boekenpost #detective #mysterie #politieverhaal #cops https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd3l3MIrw5v/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[jufbar-blog]

Alle clichés zijn waar?

Ik heb lang gewtijfeld of ik deze column zou schrijven. Echt goed nieuws bevat hij namelijk niet. Daarnaast schaam ik mij nog steeds een beetje. Want is het niet verschrikkelijk typisch dat het bevoorrechte Hollandse zondagskindje na een jaartje zwoegen voor de klassen van de openbare school van Sint Maarten (Milton Peters College) de handdoek in de ring gooit? Om uiteraard vrolijk over te stappen naar haar mede-verwende zondagskindjes op de private school (Learning Unlimited).

Mijn schaamte is inderdaad diep maar wint het net niet van mijn opluchting. Want wat een verschil in werkdruk is dit. Waar dat aan ligt?

Om te beginnen is deze school klein en strak georganiseerd. Dat mag ook wel voor die duizend dollar per maand per kind, maar desalniettemin: elk kind heeft een laptop, waar de leerling volledig verantwoordelijk voor is. Daartoe hebben ze een BYOD-agreement getekend dus daar is geen discussie over. Een voordeel van deze digitale aanpak, prachtig in zijn eenvoud: je lesprogramma zet je op je persoonlijke juffen-Weebly, dus als er een toets is, is er een toets. Nooit discussies van ‘Ik wist het niet, ik was ziek toen het werd opgegeven’. Bestaat niet.

Zitten ze dan niet de hele dag op Netflix, Insta en Youtube met die mooie laptops? Nee. Firewall. En de firewall omzeilen via VPN kan natuurlijk, maar dan ben je wel een maand lang je laptop kwijt.

Maar dan kunnen ze toch stiekem gewoon op hun telefoon met hun 5G naar social media loeren? Ook niet. De telefoon bergen ze namelijk op - in hun tas, niet in hun zak - op het moment dat ze het schoolterrein betreden. Ze weten immers dondersgoed: als de dean een glimp opvangt van zo’n splinternieuwe iPhone, is het apparaatje van hem. Tot het eind van het schooljaar.

Het kan dus. Maar hoe dan? Mijn klassen zijn niet kleiner dan op de public school, de kinderen hebben dezelfde leeftijd en het overgrote deel is hier op Sint Maarten opgegroeid. Toch zijn er enkele essentiële verschillen die ervoor zorgen dat de leerlingen op mijn nieuwe school aanmerkelijk rustiger, beleefder en gemotiveerder zijn.  

Een van die verschillen is dus de sterke organisatie en handhaving van regels. Alleen regels hebben is namelijk niet genoeg. Kinderen weten precies wat de geschreven en vooral wat de de ongeschreven regels zijn. Het is leuk als er in de schoolregels staat dat telefoons verboden zijn, maar als jij de enige docent bent die die regel tracht te handhaven en management steunt je niet in je consequenties voor overtredingen, dan wordt lesgeven best lastig. Gelukkig vind ik lesgeven weer fantastisch op deze school, en dat is mede dankzij management. Ik heb in tien jaar lesgeven nog geen schoolleiders meegemaakt die zo bereid waren de ‘bad cop’ te spelen. Want neem van mij aan: de liefde voor de dean, hoe aardig die ook is, is verdwenen op het moment dat hij een telefoon of laptop inneemt.

Een ander, schrijnend zichtbaar, verschil is faciliteiten. De school ziet er mooi uit, er is airconditioning in elk lokaal en lesmateriaal is minder dan vijf jaar oud. Dat kost geld, en dat heeft de openbare school niet. Die besteedt namelijk bijna het hele havo/vwo-budget aan personeelskosten, omdat ze van de overheid alleen docenten met een Nederlandse bevoegdheid mogen aannemen. En die betalen hun tickets en verhuizing niet zelf, maar ze zijn doorgaans wel na drie jaar weer vertrokken, waardoor een weer een nieuw (en kostbaar) zwikkie de plas mag oversteken. Een Amerikaanse privé-school hoeft niet uit deze vijver te vissen. Wel laat de school zich elke paar jaar accrediteren door middel van een assessment van een geaffilieerde Amerikaanse school board en wordt er veel verwacht van docenten. Die blijven over het algemeen lang in dienst, wat wel zo prettig is voor de continuteit.

Een derde verschil is de ouders. Ze zijn over het algemeen betrokken en verwachten dat hun kroost inzet toont voor de peperdure school. Ook wel eens op het ongezonde af trouwens: een leerling vertelde me dat zijn ouders toch wel teleurgesteld waren als hij thuiskwam met een ‘B’ (een 8). Te veel pushen is natuurlijk niet goed, maar in de regel merk ik dat het helpt als ouders zich op een gedoseerde manier bemoeien met de schoolcarrière van hun kind. Wat ik bijvoorbeeld boekdelen vond spreken op mijn oude school, was dat alleen de ouders van de kinderen die het goed deden op tienminutengesprek kwamen.

Alle archetypes lijken dus te kloppen: de privé-school heeft de beste faciliteiten, welopgevoede en gemotiveerde(/gepushte) kinderen en capabel personeel. Zijn alle clichés dan waar? Niet helemaal. Gek genoeg blijkt het cliché van ruimbetaalde docenten niet helemaal te kloppen. Sterker nog, ik verdien hier net een tikkie minder dan op de openbare school.

Misschien onnodig om toe te voegen: ik heb het er heel graag voor over.

[openanonymity]

So, for those not aware, my birthday was last Friday. I didn't blog because I've been mostly working on getting the house in proper order for our housewarming/birthday party. Pictured above are two gifts S got me for my birthday- a 3-day VIP pass to RI ComicCon and a bi pride t-shirt that reads "Love is Love". We got a $25 gift certificate to the Time Capsule, five beers from coworkers of mine, a jar of homemade pickles from another coworker, a home brew from a coworker of S', and a Bob Ross t-shirt from my coworker Steve at my 9-5. The party went on from 5:00 pm until around 2:00 am, I believe. The food was great, the drinks were great, the company was great, and up until the subject of confederate statues being removed came up, everyone was in good spirits. My coworker Steve, who I was worried would let his political views slip, had done so when this topic came up. Being the only Trump supporter I know, he has opposed a lot of views most of my friends and I shared, including the removal of confederate statues. I'm pretty sure his claim is it's part of history and shouldn't have to be removed, I missed that part of the conversation, but my friends all joined together and labeled him a racist. I'll get to more of that momentarily, but let's talk about the pros and cons of Steve. Pros: He is friendly, sociable, can talk about any topic given, and is very loyal to his friends and family. Cons: He is late for work all the time, can be oblivious about what's going on around him, can be pretty shallow at times, can end up talking a lot more than he should, and tends to have difficulty understanding both sides of a story. Now that I've got that out of the way, I'll mention the rest of the story. Yesterday, he approached me at work and said "What was up with your tall friend? Calling me a racist?" I responded with "I thought you'd be used to being called that," since he openly tells everyone he voted for Trump. He then went on to defend the "fact" that he isn't a racist, mentioning how he's friends with people of different races, and that his mom used to call him United Nations because of his diverse group of friends, and that when he was married to his wife from St Maarten, it probably would've been looked down upon or illegal in some states such as Arkansas. At that point I just walked away, because I could feel myself getting dragged into an argument that I could easily win against anyone, but not this guy. He's ALWAYS right, in his mind ::epic eye roll:: and even when the facts are shown to him, the one presenting said facts is still in the wrong. But here are a couple things he said at the party: "My ex-wife was black" "I'm colorblind. I don't see races, just people" He's someone who doesn't see himself as racist, I get it. He needs to understand that saying those lines, and the classic "I have black friends" aren't looked at as positives in the black community. He needs to educate himself on the struggles that non-whites, women, and LGBT people go through. He is a heterosexual white cis male who has never experienced oppression in any situation. He's aware and unaware of his privilege simultaneously, and it's pretty frustrating to deal with that as someone who isn't in his head wondering what his thought process is. I once got into an argument about Black Lives Matter with him, as he said "all lives matter", as I told him that more often black people are wrongfully arrested, assaulted by cops, and even murdered by cops, and he said the same thing happens to white people. Really, now? It's hard for that statement to be justified, especially when we hear more about black people going through it. The casual racism and bigotry in our justice system is ridiculous. As a white male who wears hoodies a lot of the time, I can't help but feel guilty that someone with different color skin could be interrogated by a cop and it could be the end for that person, if they wore a hoodie, and doing nothing like I would be. More often we see, read about, or hear that the charges against these cops get dropped, and sometimes I wonder if it's the way the court views non-whites, if the cops intimidate witnesses, or any other number of scenarios, especially when there is hard evidence against these cops. I feel like there are very few, next to no cases of this happening to white people, especially when they're just walking home late at night or whatever. At the end of the night, however, things started to calm down, my friend Patrick apologized for getting out of line, even though I don't think he really needed to apologize for anything other than maybe being too drunk- which I don't think he was. Steve never apologized for his words, but I sat with him and my friend Nathan and we talked about the statues being removed, how they were on public display and it's not a good look for anyone visiting these states, that they belong in a museum. I will say, since the three of us made that agreement at the end of the night, that if Steve wants to erase this stigma that has been placed on him as being a racist, he does need to educate himself a bit more on these issues. Times change, and things people said decades ago that were considered acceptable in those days may not be acceptable now. Social awareness is a continuously evolving thing. You may have a lot of friends of all different races and cultures, but it doesn't give you a free pass when you try defending blatantly racist shit, such as whether or not confederate statues should be removed, or voting for Trump. I will say, I was surprised once with what Steve said. While he didn't agree with Kaepernick's reasons for refusing to stand for the National Anthem, he said it's in his first amendment rights to not stand for the anthem. Mind was blown when he said that. Steve, like the first amendment, and many other things in this country, is full of contradictions. I didn't want to make this a fully political post, or singling out people, but getting it out there will be therapeutic, and I hopefully won't have to think about it again. 36 years of my life has been spent, and I'm still learning more about myself and others. We are forever evolving and changing, hopefully for the better, the greater good.

[stmaartennews-blog]

Cops and Kids program KPSM SXM St Maarten

Cops and Kids program KPSM SXM St Maarten

COPS “To serve and protect” is a critical component of the mantra of the Police Force that is extended to all citizens. In an effort to bridge the gap between KPSM and students, under the lead of the Community Police Officers, a program was implemented to minimize misconceptions while cultivating friendships between law enforcement and students. The presence of the police in the school as a part…

[bornoo7]

I got stopped by a lady cop. St. Maarten felt good.

[stmaartencarnival]

The colour of skin does not morality measure. Has anyone ever considered the language we use ?

White cop kills black man OR is it CORRUPT cop kills MAN .....

I believe the end of racism comes about when we stop enabling it in our everyday lives.

A thought :

So blm aka what has become a terrorist org antifa ....funded by Soros. A very bad bad man. Please do your research..... goes ant and rips down statues.

Why? We should NEVER forget history. But we also should never glorify the awful events...

When a rape victim or abused victim is seeking out help and support..u knw what they say to u ? Oh...let it go.

.

.

.

Is it okay to tell all these angry hateful people...to....let it go?

No. It isnt. But we can talk. Discuss. We can approach in love and peace.

It amazes me how many he forgotten the amazing martin luther king jr. And everything he fought for and HOW HE DID IT.

I'm a brown skinned Caribbean woman with a white caribbean Dutch german origin mother. And an indonesian father who loves sint maarten more than I EVER did.

He wasnt concerned about skin colour ...he eas concerned about how people act. As we all should be.

I see so many beautiful women and men..of ALL colours .... bury themselves in hatred ...for what? For a cause which does more to divide rather than unite. I'll prob be hated and called out on this post ..no problem..I welcome those who would like.to discuss. But if ya going come here to bash and ridicule and hate and be the racist bish I am talking about then sorry ...

Me nah goin feed dat unuh....

I'm a grown woman, please speak grown.

Anyway fellow inmates.... I pray that we ALL enter more love and light and find God...(I'm still pissed at him..n trying not to be ...he knows...)

I hope we find our way to unity. Stop the hatred. There is no justice in believing in no peace..do u also believe in taking c*ck for virginity ?

#love #instagood #photooftheday #fashion #beautiful #like4like #picoftheday #art #happy #photography #instagram #followme #style #instadaily #travel #nature #beauty #girl #likeforlike #instalike #lifestyle #model #follow4follow #music #friends #motivation #like #inspiration #repost #summer

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A post shared by SarinaGitoPhotography (@sarinagitophotography) on Aug 4, 2020 at 4:38pm PDT

[hopetofantasy]

is the actor who plays the dealer in verbonden lukas from wtfock or do they just look alike?

He is!

It's Maarten Cop, who disappeared in S3, because of him filming a show on the kids channel. He plays the drugsdealer in 'Verbonden'.

[braindamageforbeginners]

Intermezzo: Writing

Pre-Cycle 11

I will not be writing about my Thanksgiving, again, although I intend to once I can feel my left side (again, nothing bad happened but I’m still amazingly worn-out, which, for neurology patients, is a uniquely terrible feeling because it usually exacerbates your symptoms). However, when I come back and discuss Recent Personal Events, one thing I wanted to cover was the writing process. Or my writing process, anyway.

As usual, I tell most people that even though I might exaggerate some things or clarify details or the sequence of events, I try not to to fictionalize my experiences too much, not only because that would possibly be a disservice for anyone trying to replicate my “results” (again, for the complementary stuff, I do take CDB and a combined THC/CDB edibles for pain/chemover issues, I eat mostly fiber-based stuff, and lots of protein - usually in the form of protein supplements, but I’m not picky; make no mistake, I don’t think those will cure me, but they will enable me to survive the cure by eating, going to the gym, and those other issues that tend to promote health while not simultaneously giving the disease an edge)(also, to my LDS friends who were asking about medical marijuana, the new law says that it’s acceptable for “cachexia” - that’s the wasting that comes from final-stage cancer, by which it has so thoroughly taken over your system, it’s actually stripping you of nutrients - you want it to fight the weight-loss that comes with chemo, especially since even dear ol’ Zofran will make you too queasy to eat regularly); but also because I genuinely don’t have a good enough imagination to improve upon reality. This isn’t to say that I don’t like fiction or that it doesn’t have its place, just that, if you know how to look, you can find stuff that is way, way weirder than fiction. Case in point, my neighbor is a cop (true), owns a bloodhound (sorry, coonhound - I guess it’s bad form to mix up hunting hounds) which he uses to hunt... wild boars, not raccoons (also true). Which he makes into sausage. He also makes his own wine. When I was introduced to his dog, the line used was - and this is verbatim - “He’s named ‘Henry,’ but he prefers ‘Hank.” Let us just pause and appreciate what a glorious universe we live in where that line could be used unironically to describe a dog. All of this is true and not exaggerated - or not consciously exaggerated, anyway. Faulkner himself couldn’t imagine a character that good.

And that’s really how I was trained to write. Even though I’ve had many, many formal classes on writing, they were mostly focused on history, or science, or art/literature discussions - really, I’ve had a fair amount of training as a journalist more than a creative writer (I’m not really sure I’ve taken a creative writing class, come to it). Again, though, sometimes you can, with some research and observation, find something far more interesting than fiction. Which brings us to the main topic; a recent, hilariously bad attempt at contacting a real-life lost tribe. I normally try not to describe current (or even historical) events, but, sometimes, I just can’t help myself. So, before I go on, I will go with my usual warning that this is not a broad endorsement or condemnation of anything other than stupidity and/or incompetence (I have specific opinions that we’ll get into shortly, but, this tale does feature the world’s most disastrous missionary attempt, and that might put people on edge),

So, bit of background, We live in an era where there are almost no blank spaces left on the map. Hell, thanks to Google Earth, we have a few photos of the Area 51 terrain (again true, but it happened almost 10 years ago). However, there are a few left, like the Darien Gap (the undeveloped jungle-y area between Panama and Colombia, inhabited mostly by drug or gun-running operations), the Kibera Slums of Nairobi (by all accounts, an exceedingly dangerous place to go), parts of Beirut and the Gaza strip, and northern Pakistan. I realize it might be a bit of a stretch to cal them terra incognita, but, go ahead, try and get there and back. I’ll wait. There is also North Sentinel Island. That last one has been featured in a few Cracked articles. Now, even though I loved visiting France - and would do so again, especially if I didn’t have to do it as part of a package tour - I have, later in life, developed a much more, shall we say, spartan view of travel. This really kicked into overdrive after going to the Emerald Pool in Dominica, which I would absolutely endorse to anyone who doesn’t mind a few mosquito bites, and is largely protected because it’s way off the beaten path (if I hadn’t gone to grad school in the vicinity, I probably wouldn’t have gone). Even though I love the Met and Times Square, my most memorable stories from my week in New York a few years ago are from venturing out to Brooklyn, to find a little-known nerd bar that was Doctor Who themed (also true; it’s called The Waystation). My favorite spot in Miami was a dive bar in the middle of an upscale neighborhood (it has, sadly, since been demolished). In other words, I prefer those weird, unique places that seem to last only for a minute or two before they implode. Places like that require finding, and, in some cases, some reliable, competent guides or local fixers to get you there and back (well, not to Zeke’s in Lincoln Road, although finding a parking spot was hairy). North Sentinel Island, however, has stayed on my radar for a while, under the “NONO” file, because the minute it opens up for a nanosecond, it will vanish (it’s worth noting that, even though); also because, like traipsing through Waziristan, being the first one there is not a good idea, for reasons we’ll get into very quickly.

North Sentinel Island is home to a completely uncontacted tribe. And they (the Sentinelese) are super-murder-y. This is an island in the middle of the Indian Ocean - so it’s not like you’d bump into it on the way to Monte Carlo, so I can understand the appeal and mystique right away. The tribe in question hasn’t had contact with the outside world for... well, my sources differ, but since we’ve had records in the area, certainly. If they came over when the aboriginal tribes of Australia migrated from Asia (that’s a weird anthropological riddle unto itself, but we’ll talk about it another day), 30,000-40,000 years wouldn’t be out of the question, although, again, my data on this subject is from anthropologists and/or travel writers, which aren’t exactly “hard” sciences. That’s like “Skull Island” in Kong. Except scarier, because, what do have definitive, written records of, is a very, very hostile environment combined with the Home Owner’s Association from Hell. Literally every single account of the place involves the natives - or the terrain - killing and driving back any outside force. For all of our recorded history. The most recent recordings we have are from fishermen who go near the island, being harassed and shouted at by the inhabitants; that was twenty years ago. None of this is not an exaggeration, although that’s all from secondhand sources, at best (and I’m not going out there), and I’m trying to provide the sort of context I use to figure out if something’s interesting or not. If you’re like me, you’re getting an odd tickling sensation at the top of your spine that indicates something far more interesting than fiction is in the offing. Because no one has any real contact with the Sentinelese (well, no one’s coming forward, anyway), even though most experts think they’re related to other tribes in the chain (which may not mean much - as Maarten Troost points out, some of these islands can be such dangerous, divided places that over a dozen completely different languages were spoken on a single island), they’re also all completely susceptible to modern germs. Which is another one of life’s delightful oddities to consider that a used Kleenex might wipe out the scary natives (well, it would be more delightful if we weren’t celebrating that one time the European powers successfully used that approach to colonize the Americas and utterly decimate the locals long before most had even seen a white man). The Indian Government - who has jurisdiction over the area - has declared it off-limits to anyone without special government clearances and permission. Which I think is fine and agree with, but, I also think it’s to ensure that the Sentinelese don’t get access to boats and decide to expand the neighborhood. Again, we are talking about a people who the British Crown thought it wasn’t worth the risks to actively conquer, and we all know Queen Victoria’s life expectancy was dependent on how many countries her own occupied (okay, so that’s not true, but if you compare how long she reigned vs how many places she claimed ownership of, there’s an odd correlation). Like the other places on my list of “Don’t Ever Go There/Travel Musts,” it combines seclusion with danger, and I’d think the Indian Government might be as effective at banning travelers to it just by ignoring it and discouraging commercial activity in the area. Telling people not to go there or do something isn’t always the wisest policy, as Adam and Eve can attest. At the same time, 30000 years?! The last time they had contact with the rest of the species, we were eating Mammoths. And they’ve been actively resisting/killing everyone else for that long (okay, terminal cancer patient moment, there’s a bit of me that’s shouting.”I hope they never give in!”).

So, the second part of this drama involves organized religion. I will try not to get into my snide, militant agnostic (the older I get, the more I think it utter arrogance to claim absolute certainty - one way or another - about anything, let alone deities), but it will, at points, be somewhat unavoidable, because it’s both too amusing, and because someone claiming to represent God made something of a boo-boo that might endanger our bloodthirsty paleolithic friends there. Or, worse, give them access to boats. So, to all my religious friends, I don’t have any particular problems with your beliefs, as long as you aren’t doing anything horrible with them (like the Catholic Church and that long-running problem regarding pedophilia in the employees)(also, to all my friends who got in touch about the recent legislative/ballot measures, even though I love you all and your church, I hate to  say it, but it’s not like your church would be above the sort of greed and corruption that plagues any institution run by humans, and I’d be immediately suspicious of the stock portfolio or intentions of any authority figure who tells you how to vote), but, at the same time, historically, religion has not always been, shall we say, totally beneficial to every situation. Which is important in this context because some nitwit recently tried to make contact with the Sentinelese in order to convert them. That was his stated intention; if I were inclined to be cynical, I’d point out that visiting Skull Island would be the travel story of a lifetime, and, as a species, we are amazingly good at rationalizing selfish motives to unselfish ones; and I see lonely, desperate people in the chemo ward every Tuesday who’d probably love to talk to you about beliefs (in other words, if you’re actually serious about converting someone, there’s far more receptive and easily-accessible groups than the Lost Atlantis Colony). This is particularly important because John Chau’s method of first contact was also uniquely unsubtle, and had a depressingly predictable (albeit amusing, if you have my twisted sense of humor) outcome.

Just as I kind of have to give props to the Sentinelese for utterly committing to their way of life, I have to admit that religion has - mostly for the better - evolved with us. It’s had to - we started off painting on walls in France in the hopes it’d control aurochs, and now it’s an entity in the modern array of nation-states. In order to do that, it’s had to reign in that impulse to spread the word of God at the end of a sword, and use much more subtle techniques. Again, that sort of sentiment isn’t something you think about until you see the world’s most convoluted form of suicide in action.

And I bring this up because, when I thought about it, if I decided to visit Mega Murder Island (and I’m not sure I would, since I still have strap on an ankle brace any time I think I’m going to need to move at more than two miles an hour, and I still haven’t survived any of my other “Amazing/Awful Travel Destinations”) there might be a few ways I’d go about it, 1. Go back to school and study anthropology and/or linguistics (as needed) and become a Noted Figure in the field, and get official public permission/funding for such a project. 2. Hire a PMC or similar mercenary group to storm island and force my way into the interior at gunpoint (not recommended, this was the approach the British took in the 19th century and they still didn’t subdue the natives). 3. Make friends/contacts among similar tribes in the island chain, in the hope that one of them would offer an “in,” 4. Very quietly organize some sort of quiet, covert expedition to reconnoiter the island while avoiding the Sentinelese in hopes of parlaying that information into a better strategy later, also while staying alive.

It’s not often you get John Chau’s approach, which is to bribe local fisherman to take you within kayak-range of the shore, and read the gospel to the natives, loudly, and then, after a while, paddle back to the waiting fishermen. Let us just pause - again - and appreciate that the same way you ask for directions in Helsinki or St. Petersburg when you have a clumsy phrasebook was the chosen method of contact by a modern human to people whose customs and culture would - if the estimates are correct - completely predate the Lascaux cave paintings. Again, to put it into context, to paraphrase Dan Carlin of “Hardcore History,” it’s a little hard to understand or empathize with writers from 500 BC, because the values and beliefs of the time are so out-of-sync with modern thought. And now imagine a culture that branched off from the rest of us over ten times earlier than that. Predictably, like every other time the outside world has tried to intrude on their island, the natives killed him. I guess  the moral of the story is that Jesus won’t interfere on your behalf if ten minutes’-worth of research on a smart phone would inform you that, hey, maybe going to visit the uber-hostile cavemen isn’t a good idea. Another dream deferred, perhaps, but such is the price of remaining not-killed-by-obviously-not-friendly locals. Yes, my finding this darkly hilarious is probably callous on my part, but, at the same time, in the wake of Honnold ascending El Cap unaided, I’m thinking we, as a society, need to have a discussion about the difference between a calculated risk, and recklessness. Also, as mentioned, life is frequently weirder than fiction, and if you develop an instinct for that (and it’s very easy to do), there’s really no need to agonize over character motivation or plot. 

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