#mad you can't cheat anymore arent you

[laylanatorseventeen]

some Stardew players: I've figured out an out of bounds glitch to get to the Perfection Summit ahead of time lmao!

Mr. Qi:

[kimarisgundam]

I'm happy for you that your GM let you have humanity points for talking to the therapist anon

BUT I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR OC'S MENTAL HEALTH I JUST WANT YOUR OC TO GO MAKE BABIES WITH THAT ROCKERBOY

What is the problem here? That rockerboy PC is your type of guy so why don't you like him? He is in love with your netrunner and I want this ship to sail

Stop thinking as your OC and think as yourself Forgot about survival in Night City and THINK

Your OC and that rockerboy arent compatible because he is problematic? BULL SHIT

You like Johnny Silverhand

Imagine that rockerboy had Johnny's face

If that is Johnny will you accept his """problematic"" actions cheating smoking drug use and drinking? THINK KIM

You like bad boysand theres a bad boy waving a sign around with the words I love you and your OC rejected him?????

Why are you so fixated on this???

I told you, it's really not like that. Our characters are best chooms

...

What have you done... I didn't have a face to attach to her character cos we didn't make character tokens (everyone's characters kept getting killed 😂)

Now that you made me imagine him as Johnny Frigging Silverhand, I can't unsee it

Oh no 😫! He's my type 😫

Omg I called her character a selfish dumb gonk 😭. I would never say that to Johnny 😭. Johnny is the smartest person in Night City 😭

If I attach Johnny's face to her character, all our "best choom moments" suddenly seem romantic to me @_@

Omg...

buying my Netrunner stuff

always sitting next to each other in the truck

matching stickers on our guns

starting a fist fight with someone who insulted my Netrunner

asking her to leave the city with him

sharing with her that stargazing Braindance

OMG O_O... everything suddenly seems romantic O_O"

I was mad when he ruined my character's date with his drummer by showing up with our cat. But if I imagine it's Johnny, suddenly that's cute O_O

Omg that cat. He asked me to co parent a cat with him O_O. Best friends don't co parent cats together O_O

I shot his bike tires when he tried to get me out of the city immediately after our other party member got killed (I thought it was insulting, I'm not a deadweight. I can fight)... but if it's Johnny, I'd be touched >_<

He's trying to protect her in his own gonked up way ;_;... omg that's so sweet ;_;

I'm suddenly not even mad about our recent combat encounter anymore... and I feel bad for yelling at our Rockerboy immediately after he woke up at the Doc's place 😭

What have I done 😭. Omg I'm sorry Johnny 😭. I wouldn't have done that if it was Johnny 😭

I would have been gentler, kinder, and more encouraging 😭. I would also have made warm soup 😭. And I wouldn't have said "shut your mouth and eat your tube taco. I paid 1 eddie for it" 😭

Help me I'm dying

My brain just shortcircuited

[bewitchingfanfiction]

Homestuck Fic (2020/1/10)

KARKAT: DAVE. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING SERIOUS.

DAVE: dude i swear the tentacles dont bother me

KARKAT: WHAT? HOLY FUCK NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: shit did you find out about my stash

KARKAT: YOUR WHAT?

DAVE: ...

DAVE: why dont you just talk and ill shut the fuck up

KARKAT: GOOD PLAN. WE SHOULD DO IT MORE OFTEN. ANYWAYS YOU, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SIT DOWN.

DAVE: this must be pretty big

DAVE: alright lay it on me

KARKAT: KANAYA AND I...HAD A MOMENT.

DAVE: ...

DAVE: what kind of moment

KARKAT: I WAS UPSET BECAUSE OF A MOVIE I WAS WATCHING WHEN SHE CAME OVER TO BORROW A NOVEL I PROMISED SHE COULD LOOK AT. I STARTED CRYING BECAUSE OF COURSE I DID, IT WAS FUCKING TITANIC HOW DO YOU NOT CRY? STRIDER STOP LAUGHING SHUT THE FUCK UP.

DAVE: sorry

KARKAT: ANYWAYS SHE SAT DOWN NEXT TO ME WHILE I WAS CRYING AND...AND...

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: SHE...SHOOSH PAPPED ME.

DAVE: uh what

DAVE: you mean she caressed your face

KARKAT: NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT IT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. THIS IS SHOOSH PAPPING 

DAVE: ow what the fuck

DAVE: why did you hit me

KARKAT: RIGHT HUMANS ARE DELICATE AND FRAGILE AS SHIT, SORRY. BUT THAT'S WHAT MOIRAILS DO TO COMFORT EACH OTHER.

DAVE: ooohhhh this is a moirail thing

KARKAT: YES DAVE. IT'S A 'MOIRAIL THING' BUT I SWEAR NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED WE WERE BOTH HORRIFIED AFTERWARDS WHEN WE REALIZED WHAT WE DID. I'M SO SORRY DAVE IT MEANT NOTHING TO ME.

DAVE: dude

DAVE: you look ready to start hyperventilating 

DAVE: calm the fuck down

KARKAT: ...YOU'RE NOT MAD?

DAVE: fuck no 

DAVE: dude your moirail shit is basically just friendship to me

DAVE: i know theres more to it for you guys than that but like

DAVE: it doesnt make a difference for me

DAVE: but i get that youre like super freaked out about this so uh...

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: DID YOU JUST...SHOOSH PAP ME?

DAVE: fuck did i do it wrong

DAVE: shit

KARKAT: NO YOU DID IT RIGHT BUT...

KARKAT: WE'RE MATESPRITS. THIS IS MOIRAIL TERRITORY. ARE YOU FLIPPING QUADRANTS ON ME AGAIN?

DAVE: what do you mean again we arent doing the quadrant thing man

DAVE: were human dating

DAVE: arent we

KARKAT: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW ANYMORE. WE NEVER REALLY PUT ANY LABELS ON OUR RELATIONSHIP. HUMAN DATING HUH? WHAT DOES THAT ENTAIL?

DAVE: its basically all the quadrants at once i guess

DAVE: like sometimes you piss me off but other times i just want to cuddle with you till we die

DAVE: and if youre fighting with someone i wanna be the one to calm you down

DAVE: but ill still want to fuck you later

KARKAT: !!!

DAVE: holy shit i did not just say that

DAVE: okay lets pretend i didnt say that one

DAVE: kind of like how i pretend i didnt once call roxy mommy

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: wow thats another thing i just said that you never needed to know

DAVE: like thats pretty much number one on my long list of stuff to never tell anyone

DAVE: right behind that is probably when i commented on her ass

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: okay yeah i should shut up like the words spewing out of my mouth should just come to a fucking halt right now 

KARKAT: DAVE.

DAVE: youre probably very disturbed which one did it

DAVE: which dumb comment is finally gonna make you leave me

DAVE: it was the ass one wasnt it

DAVE: i bet it was

KARKAT: DAVE. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

DAVE: k

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: just to be clear im not into my sort of mom

KARKAT: DAVE.

DAVE: sorry

KARKAT: LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT INTO ROXY. I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HOW WE GOT ON THE TOPIC OF HER ACTUALLY. JUST...ARE WE OKAY?

DAVE: what

DAVE: yeah

KARKAT: OKAY GOOD. I KNOW PALE STUFF DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE TO A HUMAN BUT...IT STILL FELT LIKE I WAS CHEATING ON YOU. SO I'M STILL SORRY.

DAVE: its cool man chill

DAVE: besides youre not breaking up with me

DAVE: right

KARKAT: OF COURSE NOT. HELL NO. THAT'S THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO. 

DAVE: ...cool

KARKAT: HA, YOU'RE BLUSHING, THAT'S ADORABLE.

DAVE: shut the fuck up i am not

KARKAT: YOUR SHADES CAN'T HIDE YOUR WHOLE FACE STRIDER. YOU'RE SO RED I'D THINK YOU WERE SICK.

DAVE: maybe i am sick

DAVE: maybe youve given me some sort of illness that cant ever be cured and well have to live out one of those dramatic scenes from those movies where the girl is laying in the hospital bed dying while the guy declares his undying love for her only our version will be a lot better and a lot gayer which is what makes it better

KARKAT: FUCK THAT. I'M TURNING OFF OUR MOVIE BEFORE WE GET TO THAT POINT THEN. 

DAVE: you cant press pause the remote is broken you gotta see it through

KARKAT: THEN LIKE THOSE SHITTY YET SOMEHOW MAGICAL DISNEY FILMS YOU MADE ME WATCH, I'LL USE THE POWER OF BULLSHIT AND LOVE TO BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE.

DAVE: haha oh really?

DAVE: you know that kind of magic usually requires a kiss

Karkat: HEHE. PREPARED TO BE CURED THEN, STRIDER.

KARKAT: <3

DAVE: <3