it's time... for the TEAM DARK FEST! 💥💥💥💥
me and @serpentineshine are hosting a little tournament to finally determine who the best Team Dark member is! this week there's gonna be goofs, bits, and even a special prize for the winner 👀
however, the most important prize of all is what awaits at the end of the festival! ...but that's a secret right now.
💥 cast your vote below! 💥
(oh also if anyone makes any propaganda for their fav character. tag me i wanna see)
video transcript below the cut! ⬇️
A blue announcement screen with scrolling text reads “SPECIAL FENSNAILZ ANNOUNCEMENT.” There’s a looping animation of Squeak the cat in the middle. It disappears, cutting to a shot of a studio space.
In the studio, SNAIL, SHINE, SQUEAK, and a VASH PLUSH all sit at a desk with a large CRT TV on it. Squeak and Vash are on top of the TV, and shelves with various items line the walls. Everyone seems to be unaware that the camera is rolling - Snail is reading the script, Shine is drinking from a mug, and Squeak is licking her butthole. Vash remains motionless.
Snail notices the camera zooming in, and throws away the script in a moment of panic. Shine and Squeak sit up to face the camera as well.
SNAIL: Coming at you pre-recorded, it’s Snail, Shine, and The Beasts!
SHINE: We’re here today to announce a special tournament we’re hosting: the TEAM DARK FEST!
SQUEAK: Eep!
VASH: weemp womp :]
SNAIL: You know ‘em, you love ‘em-
SHINE: Or hate them.
SNAIL: It’s all about TEAM DARK this week! Fellas, turn on that TV!
The camera cuts to a close-up of the TV as the screen flips on. Three shitty photos of each Team Dark member appear on the TV under the question “Who is the best member of Team Dark?” Every Team Dark member’s name is misspelled underneath the photos.
SHINE: Time for the ULTIMATE question: Who is the best Team Dark member?
SNAIL: Oof. We’re turning them against each other, huh? That’s dramatic.
SQUEAK: Meep! (HOLY SHIT)
The camera zooms out to a wide view of the studio, but zooms out much further than needed for a split second. For some reason, this is all being filmed on a green screen set, and the shelves behind the cast seem to be edited in. Not only that, but this studio is either widely over-staffed or widely under-staffed, because the boom mic is held by seven Chao stacked on top of each other. The camera zooms into a closeup of Snail before much of this information can be processed.
SNAIL: Well, it’s obviously Shadow. I told him if he won, I would get him ice cream after soccer practice!
The camera pans over to Shine.
SHINE: No way, vote for Rouge! She can carry like. Nineteen mountain lions. Give or take
The camera pans over to Squeak and Vash. Squeak points at a crude drawing of Omega that seems to say “VOTE OMEGA.” It is upside down. Vash holds a cute little sign that says “I <3 OMEGA” that he likely made himself.
SQUEAK + VASH: ?????????????? (we didn’t hire anyone to translate this part.)
Back in a wide shot, Snail and Shine stare blankly at Squeak and Vash. Squeak licks her butthole again. Vash is now Real. Someone off-screen sneezes very convincingly.
SHINE: This poll will run for ONE WEEK before we announce the winner! So little time…
SNAIL: Everyone make your vote count! The winner of this festival will have a special page in my…
An image of a porcelain snail appears over a white background as an echo-y human voice says “SECRET UPCOMING PROJECT.”
VASH: bweep bwaa :] (Yay! Prizes!)
SHINE: The final verdict will be decided by Twitter AND Tumblr, so commit as much voter fraud as you please!
Squeak bites Vash and he screams. They both fall off the TV and make a surprising amount of noise. Snail and Shine stare in shock.
SNAIL: See you in seven days! And hey, if you want to participate… tag me in any propaganda you make to fight for your favorite Team Dark member!
Squeak and Vash explode.
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more dweebs (Very detailed image description below.)
a drawing of grian, ethoslab, tangotek, and smallishbeans. grian is in his season 10 fishing skin and the rest are in different outfits referencing their base themes.
grian is in his fishing skin looking very tired with his fishing rod swung over his shoulder and an ear pierced with a brassy fish hook. he’s a cod hybrid with fin-ears and a stubby tail. behind him blue snail is munching on some leaves.
etho is posing with a neck sheepishly behind his neck and the other resting on his bag. he’s in the postal uniform polo with a green, canadian maple-themed yukata loosely worn and slipping off his shoulder. he has fingerless gloves on under. he is wearing dark red pleated pants and light green heeled crocs. he has a black and red messenger bag with a trellis motif. etho is an arctic fox hybrid with brown legs and streaks through his hair. doodles below show what his paws look like under the crocs and one shows him posing with a note saying “ties up sleeves.” above him another note reads “streaks bc his winter coat is shedding.”
tango is posing confidently with a wrench. he is in the postal uniform polo, with chunky brown and orange gloves and boots, topped off with red, pinstriped overalls. one strap is not around his shoulder, and on the belt around the overalls they carry a small bag, a screwdriver, and a vial of redstone. he has on brown goggles with blue lenses. tango has fire for hair and pointed ears. above him there’s a doodle of the messenger bag that’s secured on his back. it shows how the orange straps tuck over the whole outfit and lead to a dark red and pinstripe blue bag with cog detailing.
joel is giving an indignant pose like he’s complaining. he is wearing a black undershirt that fades out into his light green claws, a pink kimono with only one sleeve of cherry blossom patterns, and a dark grey vest and cherry blossom-patterned obi tie it off. the vest has a cherry blossom crest on the back. joel also has on dark pink pants with a cherry blossom motif on the bottom and on his left arm there’s a bracer with a screen built in. crawling all over the undershirt there are cybernetic patterns connecting joel’s skin through to the undershirt. joel is a tanuki, hence why he has a leaf on his head. around joel are doodles showing the crest on the back of his vest and the pattern on the sleeve.
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