#making my 14 year old self proud or smth

[bit-was-here]

regressing to middle school rn

(4-6 are a role reversal thingy, magnus as a shadowhunter and alec as a warlock :0)

[motifenjoyer]

❤️️❤️️❤️️ :3

i have multiple wips so i'll talk abt All of them

this may get long, so.

icdwd - aka i couldn't dance with death if i tried!! its a zero escape fic mostly exploring a potential (loveless) relationship between akane and mira. its abt a lot of things i realize i never rlly touched upon in my other works?? for context im aromantic and i like. Constantly talk abt it even to my allo friends esp abt the constant amatonormativity the world likes to throw at us. specfically how ppl feel pressured to be in a relationship. why? well, various reasons: to fit in, to be seen as "more mature" (aspecs tend to experience infantilization and this doubles if ur autistic), to be seen as human, bc u feel like itll make u whole, bc u dont realize theres another option!! ive always hced my favs as aro ever since i realized it, but i always used to focus on the ace part of my identity. so i never rlly got to write a fic that explores aromanticism, aside from a fic i wrote four years ago in which leorio and kurapika hxh r in a qpr

another thing is i have ocd and for that reason, i dont like to write abt sexual topics . but in this fic, ive been sorta delving into that (its literally nothing just a fade to black that immediately goes to like the character waking up in another character's bedroom) and idk i think it shows my growth in a way?? that im willing to finally write that stuff without my ocd trying to kill me??? idk its . smth

im also having a Lot of fun writing akane and miras dynamic. i think, with me hcing them as aro (akanes aroace and miras an aro lesbian), i feel itd stand out more compared to other mirakane fanworks and interpretations . like this isnt a relationship ur supposed to root for!!! its abusive, its messy, its Uncomfortable, gory, and both women have ulterior motives. idk i like writing abt two unabashedly flawed queer women and having them navigate a relationship when one has no experience while the other has experience but whose disability prevents them from connecting w others (akane has a similar struggle), idk!! its an interesting dynamic

queerpei - i like a lot of the descriptions i wrote. im so used to writing akane that its soooo weird writing in the headspace of anyone else. but junpeis introspection is fun, like he has a mind of his own... i have this experience when writing akane (im plural so. go figure) and even when writing diana

angelus custos - so im kinda in the planning stage for this one but . Wow. im so proud of myself and how far ive come with this project, and just in general?? i used to primarily be a fic writer until 2018, when i decided to dabble in making my own characters. its always been bittersweet, bc my friends (all artists, never writers) would tell me to just make ocs instead of fanfic and my 12-14 yr old self would always be upset by that. so my characters never rlly came into their own so to speak

until This Year. ive been watching this rlly awesome youtuber named local script man. he's a screenwriter but a lot of his advice can apply to writing as well. i dont remember which video it was, but he talked abt how a characters' motivations can serve as fuel for smth deeper, like an insecurity for example. which THEN can serve as a backstory. and idky but it all clicked in my head?? character work became so much easier when i applied this to my process. i no longer had trouble w coming up w things that seemed to come naturally to most. bc i Know im good at fleshing out characters, i just needed to know how to do it for original work, even tho ive had friends praise my characters in the past

but yeah thats prob the best part of the story rn . im still having trouble w what their voices would sound like, speech patterns and the like, but thatd prob come around when i actually write the damn thing lol

BtSoyT - the idea itself has me so excited!!! ive been watching some horror movies, specifically recs from my friend @zebatverse hehe, and idk i feel like ive been getting more inspo and knowing what i'd wanna do if i were to write horror . i have several other ideas besides this in my notebook but this is one i wanna write the most. i even made a moodboard for it ^_^

[superemeralds]

my sonic characters: a masterpost

I’ll add more whenever i get new info on characters and so on sakjsak

I used to have more but i gave some of them away so i dont feel like i should mention them here (even if those designs are not in use anymore)

[edit 4/20/2019 (haha) added nexus and links to character tags]

1) Saph the hedgehog

This is Saph. He’s a 18/19 year old disaster gay trans boy.

I change his shoe design literally every single time i draw him. :)

I’ll go in depth about his past later.

Saph is pretty much all over the place and forgets to be considerate of other peoples feelings sometimes. He might come off as very egoistic of self centered, but he does actually care in his own kind of way (even when its. kinda bad bc he gives off wrong signals sometimes and ends up hurting people hes close to)

He’s looked up to Sonic ever since he was small and he collects all of the Sonic comics and video games. His dream is to meet Sonic and win against him in a fight.

Shadow is his big idol in many things so he tries to be edgy sometimes or act tough but he fails miserably most of the time and makes a fool of himself; which he doesn’t really mind because he can take a lot of things with humour (sometimes too much). He also uses white eye liner to imitate shadows marks, and he dyes some parts of his fur white to make the marks he already has extend to look more like shadows.

Shadow was the person that taught him how to control his chaos powers, because he’d always just weakened himself in the past, because he is super unstable. (If it wasnt for Shadow he probably would have died by now.) Shadow also was the one that told Saph to go to Tails for help with the buckles on his wrists and the rings on his ankles. They are made of a material similar to shadows rings (tails tried his best to replicate them) so they would help keep the energy in Saph balanced. Due to his strong affiliation to Chaos Energy, he could technically even turn super; but his body would be unable to hold the immense amount of energy and begin to literally burn down to ash within a few minutes.

He is very gay and in a relationship with Ezra.

He’s on T and has not yet had top op. (his bobbies smol its all muscle >:3€ )

Old pic of him and his bf as humans uwu

2) Red the hedgehog

Red is 25/26 years old and works at GUN as special agent. Sometimes he and Rouge get drunk in her club at night and joke about tearing that organization down (or maybe they are not joking)

he’s pansexual and horny 24/7. He has a girlfriend and is in an open relationship. hes polyam if you didnt guess it askdsajh

he’s blind in the right eye and has a tattoo of a star on his chest

(here’s his gijinka because i just. hes hot. he used to be the one character that had like 30 fangirls on deviantart and each of them would comment “nosebleed” every time i uploaded)

ANYWAYS

Saph and Red. They are brothers.

*WARNING: abusive parents, transphobia, homophobia, violence

When red was a young lad and Saph was still a baby their father snapped and beat Red up with an iron bar, making him blind on his right eye. Red took Saph and ran away from home.(Their mother died at saphs birth)

They lived and still live in a city a litte farther off Empire City.

Red decided to go to an orphanage because he could not possibly take care of an infant. (granted his dad couldnt either but it seemed the best possible solution)

They lived in the orphanage for a few years, but saph very soon showed sighns of being trans and got bullied by the other kids. they would call him gay and tr*nny and kick him until he fell silent to endure his “punishment”.

Red couldn’t take it and decided to run away with Saph again. They lived on the street for a while, but Red was caught by GUN for stealing. Once they found out he had a form of chaos powers (even if weak) they decided to let him slide and hire him as Special Agent.

Red accepted this and uses the money he ears to make sure Saph has a good life. This kinda spoiled Saph a little, but he also deserved it lets be real here.

Red made sure to enable saph to get education (which he totally refuses to acknowledge and take seriously) and physical transition.

*WARNING END*

3) Ellectra “Ellie” the tenrec

[ pardon me being inconsequent with the design omg ]

Ellie is a 20 year old functional asexual demiromantic lesbian who is not interested in dumb boys and would rather talk about science with a pretty girl.

She can manipulate electricity and is called “Daughter of Zeus” by the townsfolk in her home island called Coral Island, which is located near the windsmil isles in Apotos.

She studies archeology and gaia mythology/ancient history, which makes it very convenient that she lives nearby an actual gaia temple. (She wants to be like lara croft one day)

At the 2005 black arms invasion her mother got heavily wounded when she tried to protect the town from the aliens and died from the aftermath.

Ever since then Ellie hates Shadow with a burning passion and holds him responsible, because she believed the government propaganda (provided by GUN ofc) that Shadow is One Of The Aliens. If she was ever to meet him she would be FURIOUS and ready to murder (she knows he cant die though).

She tried not to focus too much on that and just. do her cool ancient stuff.

Here are her parents Chion and... the mother i had still not found a good name for.

5) Chion the tenrec

This gentleman is 40+ years old and proud father of Ellie.

Hes also a het ace.

Chion is greek for snow (as far as google translate goes) and he was named that bc of his white nose lmao. its like a snowflake on his black body.

He doesn’t have any elemental powers, but he is naturally very strong and will punch anyone who comes close to his family. He can also use swords and is a skilled swordsman.

He inherited an olive farm from his family and he does keep it going. He makes his money selling olive products he does make himself.

6) Athena the hedgehog

Athena was the daughter of the “major” of the island that the family lived on (coral island), so she was expected to become the new major once he had to retire.

Due to the location of the island and the geographical landmarks on it, many raiders (and also eggman) have great interest in the ruins and mythological places. Athena is not one to give in easily and defended her people and the island from many intruders.

She possessed a less particular (than Ellie), but still fierce power of lightning manipulation. Having used her powers excessively, she sustained severe damage to her arms which showed as lighting shaped scars. She showed them with pride, because they meant she had fought hard to get where she was now.

She was bisexual and married to a tenrec called Chion. She was a year older than him.

The rings Ellie wears on her wrists were her mom’s.

7) Frost the snow leopard

Frost is a 15 year old demiboy who really just wants to have a good time. He hasnt really given his sexuality much thought.

He lives in a small village in Holoska; hes actually even met the werehog. Well he saw him. but he was too afraid to talk to him because holy shit its Sonic The Hedgehog!!!!!!!

He has ice powers!!!!

His insides are like -18°C and he cant eat anything that is hot. He has to eat cooked meals when they are room temperature, or even cooled down to fridge temperatures ( about 6°C).

He basically lives off ice cream and dry meat (if they get fancy food from the city he gets frozen pizza) He thinks of going to the UF for college, but he doesnt really know what he wants to do with his life yet so hes just having fun snowboarding.

8) Mitzu the Cheetah

Mitzu is 22 years old and owns a flower shop/chao garden combo where she takes care of chao, while taking care of flowers and breeding them. Her hydrokinesis powers are very helpful in that!

She loves nature and the outdoors and feeling the grass under her feet, so she doesn’t wear shoes/socks. Ever.

She generally is very free spirited and optimistic!

Shes a big sapphic but shes also okay w being single atm.

Her chao are like children to her and she loves the chao that get left in the garden as much as her own. (ppl leave their chao there when they cant watch over them anymore or if they go for a vacation and cant take them with them or smth)

9) Dan the red panda*

Dan is 17 years old and a big homo.

He has no special powers, except being able to eat and sleep more than the average person.

He’s from a very rich family, but his parents insisted in him finding a wife to like. pass down the heritage but he aint having none of that so his punk ass ran away from home to be his gay self and study art. 

He lives in a tree house a little off a small village in a more rural area in east UF, near station square. let the depression boy be happy...

10) Yoshi the siamese cat

Yoshi is a 20 year old enby kitty who wants to make the world a gayer place!

They are studying fashion design in hope to one day open their own fashion store for queer people! The clothes are made with body differences in mind and they also want to offer a free customization service to fit clothes to every single body type.

They don’t have any special powers as of now but i kinda want to give them a power that could be helpful with their goal Im still thinking about it ...

11) Joel “Spirit” the Husky

Spirit is fresh ripe 14 years old and Sonic the hedgehog is his big big idol. He wants to be JUST like him when he grows up.

It has come to my attention that he is basically the sonic universe Deku and I may or may not be planning to write a fanfiction for that...........

He doesn’t have any special offensive powers, but he has orange blood and he has the ability to read the Chaos Signature of anything he encounters.��(called: Chaos Vision)

This means he will immediately know if a person he meets has super powers and he will also know what that power is. He can also guess the emotions of people because they are tied to the kind of chaos energy that surrounds a person.

12) Aurora the Husky

Spirit’s Sister!

Her name is Aurora and she also has Chaos Vision!

She was born blind, but she’s been able to see with her power, so that’s just what the world looks like to her: Darkness with many many colorful lights.

Over time through hard training she was able to perfect her vision and be able to distinguish between a lot of things and even see things that only have very little chaos energy in them!

13) Axel the Axolotl*

I don’t really have much info on them I made them pretty random one day bc i thought. hey. .... what if... axolotl sonic character.

14) Azul the cat

Azul is my sonicsona kinda. He was pmuch my persona b4 i was kin w shadow. 

He’s an edgelord and i guess he’s still technically me; or rather what i want to be. 

He’s already on T and has has top op and he does not crumble away under social anxiety like i do askjdsakjd.

15) ( UNKNWOWN) the Pangolin*

Similar to Axel I didn’t think much about him yet......  

he’s aroace and kinda goofy but he cares for his friends. He can roll up and do spin dashes and homing attacks like sonic, but he obviously doesnt have his super sonic speed.

16) Coal the hedgehog

Coal is one of the newest of my characters; but he’s also one of my oldest. 

You see, Coal is a revamp of a very old crappy fanchild i had back in like 2012.

for reference thats him

New Coal is 27 years old and a gay mess. He can turn into a cloud of smoke and control it at will. He is completely immune to physical attacks. try to stab/shoot him and u ded. hes coming for u.

he steals, but only from rich ppl. hes chaotic neutral tho bc he keeps that shit for himself safhsaljfha he generally just wants to chill and have his peace. 

he loves being an edge lord though he just wants that image for himself, even though he is kinda a softie... hes good at keeping up an act in dangerous situations though and that sometimes scares attackers off (also his powers)

Some gijinka doodles that make his age more justice than sonic style aksjfhaskj

17, 18, 19) The Crew On ARK

old bad art but i never really drew them, i did write about them in my fic about shadows past! (im excluding the black guy from the list because i didnt write him yet and i guess hes not really established yet since i got literally nothing on him)

from left to right

Nia, (that dude), Hikari, (gerald), Theodor

Nia is the daughter of a shamaran professor and a woman who owns a boulongerie in spagonia. She joined the ARK program in hope to make the world a more accepting place.

Hikari is is from an island near chun-nan (japan) and she also joined the program in hope to be able to help make a change for the better. she also enjoys biology and genetics a lot.

Theodor joined purely because of his joy in working on genetics and robotics that immitate life. He’s innitially from the GUN team but was assigned to work with Gerald.

20) Commander Jonathan Williams

old art again sorry sakjfhsakj. He is the father of the current GUN commander! He’s 52 and a total douchebag. He’s kinda mad with power and genuinely believes that putting shadow under pressure to become the ultimate and strongest weapon (stronger than an atomic bomb) was necessary to end the war that was going on at that time.

I cannot spoil too much on what happened to each of these people as it’s spoilers for my fanfic. 

If you want to know more, read here -> http://archiveofourown.org/works/10992156/chapters/24482199

21) Sidus “Nova” the black panther (and 22 Badass the Chao)

You see. The thing with nova is that i recycled him as human/demon character for a story sjkhfkafhsakj but he has shadow powers where he can use all shadows as portals into a shadow dimension that is entirely his own. he can travel through that but it makes him very tired. he likes to store capri suns in there and just take em out whenever he wants. He has a Chao called Badass (pictured below)

his new human/demon design is below

23) Blossom the horned Frog

She is new and I don’t have much info other than that she’s from a jungle area; perhaps in adabat.

She secrets a poisonous slime from her body; yet her spit has healing accelerating properties.

A gene defect lets her never lose her tail.

24) Nexus the demonic sheep hound

nexus is a demonic sheep hound mix?? idk i just didnt want to draw hooves aksfsakhfa

they can manipulate metal and bend it in any shape they want

however they cant make it float n shit like youd think of metal powers like magneto jsfhsakjf they can literally just. shape it like play-doh but with their mind

they wear those gold rings so when theyre in a pinch they can just make a bunch of cool knifes of a sword n be like SURPRISE BITCH IM NOT JUST PRETTY. IM PRETTY DEADLY!

[sky-bluepinksunset]

Aesthetic asks 🔥🔥

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? Today on the way here! I sing literally 24/7 when I’m drivingfairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? I’d want to know if I’m going down the right path and it’s all worth it, and I’d want to know how to fix it to accomplish my goals.daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?Honestly it’s been super recent with getting on a good path to being heathy! I’m not nearly there, but it’s been a lot of back and forth, so it’s a good feeling.1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?Parkway with Nicole was goodmatte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?Yeah, I’d change everything and travel. Before I die, I want to see the world and leave some sort of lasting legacy like a charity or something, even if it only helps one person, you know?black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?Northern Lights Get my doctoratemoodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?Yeah! Definitely complicated and everything but I was happy stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?Ah the other night plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.You! You'd appreciate it the most and we could plot and everything and it'd be a good memory converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?It depends if I knew if I'd ever see them again lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?You tonight lmaooohandwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?I'd tell Cameron that I love him and I'm proud of himcactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?THE BEST lit marry me if u have brown eyes sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.The quote in my instagram bio is "The Stars would be proud to know they made someone like you" and it just means a lot to me because some days, you need a reason to keep going strong and it can be smth like the universe or ur dog oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?Something super sarcastic overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?Travel and starting a shelter! combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?Yeah, I am! It can be a big weakness lmao winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.You've been through a lot up to this point, but things are on the rise for you, and moving schools this last time is going to be the best thing for you to thrive right now. Stick by your gut feeling for the friends that are going to stay with you and band, they're going to show you different things that make everything you've dealt with so far seem insignificant. Coming from your 17 year old self, it does get better and there is a reason that you're alive right now. You're going to make a difference. pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?I 1000000000% would LOVE to say punk but definitely pastel tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.I love them! The body art like that can make each person unique and able to tell their own story through different drawings and innings or piercings piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?I don't! It makes me break out and I'm trying to fix that lmao bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.I listened to a lot of indie music when I was younger, and it had this certain effect on me that made me feel better about the world's outlook messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.You can't let things go by you unnoticed- The earth is dying and people are being murdered by oppression, and it's getting worse every single second. cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. Mary Lambert! I literally sobbed when she came on stage because 14 year old me seeing a proud, beautiful, queer woman on stage made me feel AMAZING about myself grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?My grandpa. I'd want it to say if he was here, he wouldn't hate me or disown me for being gay or supporting the things that I do, which is highly unlikely space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?A desk! It is not at all white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?I come home from work usually, shower, and then get in bed and watch tv shows or YouTube and text until I go to bed lmao old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?I don't want them to know that I blame them for a lot of shit, and I believe that they put themselves and their pride above their kid's wellbeing. beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?My old long, curly hair and silver af eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?YouNicoleSaulDrakeCaitlin11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.End up happy and content with my life choicesNo regrets Bravery painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.Probably doing the B99 cast lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?When I was high, I got a flat tire and a police officer came and attempted to help Karly and I fix it and it was HORRIBLE because I'm sitting there with a knife in my hand, all because it's a horrible part of town, and I'm not legal to have one. I can also barely stand SO it was an experience thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?Murder storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?They both sound like torture and unhealthy, but I'd probably pick a song because it's definitely easier to cope with love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. I think realizing it is the most intense feeling because you're just overwhelmed by the pure amazement of this person, and it almost feels like you are floating clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?Lol my hair is THE BEST coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? Normally an iced caramel macchiato and definitely Nicole marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?Getting through to get to college

[lilsacrifice]

will i ever own a palace?

it’s 2020 in 2 days and i turn 20 in 2 months. in reality i’m fuckin 15 because my youth was stolen and I done sleepwalked years 14-16 and 17-19. fuckd up how dead its possible to be but oh well I coulda been born in north korea or smth so w/e.

i’ve thought rly often about shit that popped up in instagram explore, with different artists decade’s progressions from 2010 to 2019. i’m on some fucking shit now with how i move. it’s 9 am I haven’t slept a minute & spent all day editing this spaced out music video for my justice - stress remix. it’ll turn out sick in this bootleg fuckin ass way I know.

i can’t fuck with school. everything I do artistically is fucking sick now. i’ve been translating my imagination into this music video and i know i’m fuckin onto something. this what i’m here for. making pieces, thats the way i’ve been putting it in my mind. I make pieces. i fuck with it.

i spend my time making something fucking sick now and I’ll be proud of it when i’m 50 years old. i spend my time in school and all I get is fucking depressed and used to the idea of taking fucking orders on what to do with my mind & imagination. no thanks can’t make me. I don’t need no fucking budget to get shit sounding/looking/feeling right and whatever I do like that will shine as inspiration to any kid in my position.

i’m such a fucking kid still . i haven’t fell in love, i haven’t felt true friendship & i’ve barely made any memories yet. i do plan on fkn making some though. i’m a train on tracks and theres nothing in my way cause my tracks laid on some other shit nobody even see.

i aint fucking scared of shit, i got tunnel vision. I can’t even do shit else but work on what’s currently the pressing issue, the vocation, the exploit. that shit stays on like a tattoo. i want a tattoo, but thats not relevant rn, feel me?

sometimes i get all fucked up and crummy cause I wanna be someone else or have what somebody else got. fuck that shit for life. i’m my fuckin self, I start from that n theres no limit with where I can take it. i got sauce already.

tunnel vision. i can’t hear shit from NOBODY who isn’t on some shit too. fucking zombies eat my dick lol. right now i’m rightfully shut the fuck up cause i used to talk wild shit and never act on it so I’m putting it to justice, this time not saying shit while doing mad shit. but i’ll be talking my shit when I earn that shit.

theres nothing like hikimanu out there or here and it’s aint even sprouted from the ground yet. all my shit already wicked & sick despite being in the embryo / cocoon. i got a way with words, i got a way with my face, i got a way with the way i dress, i got that shit too so in due time I will piss on the rap game too. rappings not hard its like punk anyone who wants to do it can do it. srsly. do it for me maybe maybe.

i got the sauce i rarely fucking miss at all. im not start yet. but im addicted as hell and excited as fuck to see where process takes me. i’m shut the fuck up until i physically cant not talk my shit. the time for that is not now.

i got mad reasons to get out of bed and shit now. they can’t teach me, bitch they can’t reach me. fuck the world. love.