#manifesting shadowgast

[nebelstreifling]

The time has come 🔮

[neinofthem]

oh yes i suppose i am a ‘woman of faith.’ what faith you ask? um. that’s going to be hard to explain. how do we celebrate? like, holidays? oh, um, it’s mostly just simple rituals. here, i can show you. this is our most holy observance.

[fortuitus-art]

“Maybe we should put the books down for the night?”

✨MANIFEST✨

[vyeoh]

It snowed yesterday where I live

[themightynein]

funny how the caleb figure comes with a beacon…. whore

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

i am biting at the bars of my enclosure in anticipation of tomorrow night holy fucking shit

[bloopitynoot]

This fic isn't exactly a Devil Wears Prada au but it's got the vibes. Essek is the big boss and Caleb becomes his assistant intending to stay in the role for just a year while he completes his PhD(?). (Though its essek more has a miranda priestley like reputation rather than actually being so harsh and cold with his assistant in reality (Dierta Thelyss on the other hand...))

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43430334/chapters/109180149

(It's got explicit chapters but I think the author lists them so you can avoid them if that's not your thing)

I LOVE this fic! It's one of the few im subscribed to for updates. Definitely ends on a cliffhanger atm, and my heart is NOT ready (Da'Leth arc).

Thank you for the rec, though!!! I will always appreciate (and read) them!

[hello-eeveev]

Here’s some old Shadowgast art (one of my favorites) to manifest some Shadowgast content tonight! 💜🧡💜

Regardless, I am so excited to see my beloved m9 again and I do not know what I will do without them 😭

[jaskwritesthings]

Shadowgast daemon au?

tags: alternate universe - dark materials, canon complaint, suggested canon torture

(ao3)

notes: abbil = trusted, friend

“Frumpkin is a familiar, yes?” Essek asked, the question had been bubbling under the surface for quite some time and there was something about the warm low light of the tower library that allowed space for bravery to blossom. Usually it manifested in sitting closer to Caleb or reaching out for the warmth of his touch. Today it appeared it was a less pleasurable pursuit that had won out.

Caleb stilled, unnaturally so, “Ja.”

“Your daemon…” Essek trailed off, unsure how to proceed. There were certain things you just didn’t talk about in polite society, kept for the dark corners and hushed over near empty wine glasses with disgust. The persistent rumour of the Empire’s severing of daemon’s kept many a drow child awake at night but Essek had only learned the truth of it in his interactions with the Cerberus Assembly. He suspected Caleb had been subjected to such a horror but he hoped, he prayed, that Caleb would take this opportunity to trust him with his daemon.

Caleb didn’t move but there was a subtle shift in him that froze Essek’s heart. He already knew the answer when Caleb responded cooly, “Long gone.”

“I’m sorry Caleb,” Essek mumbled, the words feeling far too small to encompass the sorrow he felt for his partner.

“Ja, me too,” Caleb said just as emptily. The cold words plastering over the cracks that Caleb was trying to conceal. Essek could still see them, wished he could soothe them somehow.

“Does it hurt still?” He asked and Caleb closed the book he’d been studying softly. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. Still so much of their relationship was trepidation, feeling out the boundaries and the pit falls and trying so hard not to snap like a cornered animal when one was stumbled upon. Essek knew he was pushing at Caleb’s defences but if he didn’t he wouldn’t know how to help him and he so badly wanted to help him.

“Like a phantom limb,” he admitted thickly.

“Is there any way I can help?”

Caleb smiled weakly, “I am well.”

Essek frowned, suddenly understanding Beauregard’s urge to violence as a sign of affection, “And I would help ease any pain you carry Caleb Widogast.” He stated fiercely and it seemed to catch the Empire wizard off guard.

“Touching another's daemon can provide comfort,” Caleb offered quietly after a few moments of shocked silence.

“The Nein?”

“Ja they have allowed it but it is not always comfortable for them.”

Essek could imagine, Verin had always been free with his touch as a child and Essek had not always welcomed it. Found it suffocating at times and even painful on occasion, the vulnerability of it left Essek feeling far too exposed. He wished he’d been more accepting of it, perhaps it would have made reaching out to Caleb and the others far easier. He struggled, the tug of war between begging for comfort and denying to protect himself, a constant battle held in his chest, often stealing his breath.

And as much as every fibre of his being rebelled at the idea of revealing such a weak spot, he wanted to help Caleb more. An urge that had grown stronger the more time they spent together. Something that leaked out into every aspect of his life like an invasion of weeds aided by Caduceus’ gentle coaxing across a barren wasteland.

“Would you like to hold Abbil?”

Caleb paused, blinking in confusion, “Abbil?”

Essek didn’t blame him, as much as there were rumours around the empire, there was plenty of propaganda against the dynasty. Propaganda they’d used to their advantage. It wasn’t well known beyond the borders that those of the dynasty, just as their counterparts in the empire, had daemons. Many were under the misconception that Drow especially had none. And Essek’s own daemon was well hidden at all times.

This would be the first time he’d admitted to having, let alone naming, his daemon to an outsider. He trusted Caleb but that didn’t stop the urge to take back his words, to deny and distract. Abbil rubbed one of her furry legs along the back of his neck comfortingly before she took the initiative as usual and poked her way out from under his collar, blinking her many big black eyes at Caleb.

“If your cat tries anything I’m sending him back to the Fey wild,” the tarantula grumbled, already scuttling across the back of the sofa to Caleb.

Caleb chuckled, the sound thick with emotion that Essek wouldn’t name or draw attention to for Caleb’s own dignity. The first touch of one of Abbil’s legs against Caleb’s neck sent an electric shiver down Essek’s spine. Something he couldn’t even attempt to hide.

“Uncomfortable?” Caleb asked with a sad smile, clearly expecting Essek to take Abbil back.

“Unexpected,” Essek settled on, trying to ignore the heat high in his cheeks and low in his belly. It reminded Essek of the time Caleb’s hand had accidentally landed high on his thigh as he ranted about a newly released thesis in transmutation. Essek could recall nothing of that discussion but he could tell you in great detail how warm Caleb’s hand was, the way he squeezed his thigh whenever his temper rose as though to anchor himself from standing and pacing. Essek would never admit to how badly he wanted Caleb to squeeze enough to leave a mark, leaving little fingerprints of deep purple for him to admire later. He hadn't, of course, always gentle to a maddening degree with him, but the desire had lingered long afterwards and had taken several days to shake.

“You do not have to -“

“Unexpected but not uncomfortable,” Essek quickly cut off, least Caleb martyr himself by moving away from Abbil and taking the delightful crackling feeling with him.

“No offence mein schatz but you do not look comfortable,” Caleb argued.

“It is not uncomfortable in the way you think…” Essek mumbled embarrassed, shifting in his seat to alleviate certain frictions…or perhaps heighten them.

“How…oh,” Caleb’s cheeks darkened quickly.

“Quite,” Essek cleared his throat.

“Idiots,” Abbil chastised as she burrowed under Caleb’s collar.

[mars-mystic]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @crimsonicarus tyyyyy <33333

How many works do you have on ao3

23 as of today. Tomorrow, who knows? Perhaps 24. I have 5 on ff.net too :P

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

154,239

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently only f1. But the full list includes (but is not limited to): Critical Role, Our Flag Means Death, Star Trek, Percy Jackson, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Lord of the Rings, Macbeth, etc

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ongoing Speculation - Critical Role

Diplomatically Inclined - Star Trek

Unspoken Love - Critical Role

Keep a Close Watch - Critical Role

Take my Hand (Take my whole life too) - Our Flag Means Death

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. I love yapping about my fics, and where better to do it than the comments. I'm liable to say too much in the comments, because I'll just say anything. I think it's polite to reply when someone has gone through the effort of engaging in conversation by commenting (I also fall immediately in love with you. so there's also that)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Bold of you to suggest I've ever ended a fic. I also have... 4 fics tagged Hurt No Comfort. But I'd say The Mourning After is the angstiest. Of the complete ones. But maybe also just in general.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Perhaps Unspoken Love. It has a very cute not friends not dating but more vibe to it. Very QPR. Who doesn't love a good Wizard date not date? Aeor is for Lovers, after all.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no hate comments but sometimes I think my readers hate me for what I put them through <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nothing that ao3 knows about... yet...

what kind? ummm.... fucked up? Awful? its me, what else is new?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

hell yes. My first fic was a crossover, gotta stay true to myself. The craziest one I've written. well. it doesn't exist on the internet. but it features Hamlet/Robert Ross (from the World War One novel The Wars) as well as Ahsoka Tano/Darth Maul/Din Djarin (The Mandalorian). That or the Formula One Hamlet AU I partially wrote (and never posted).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

lmao, doubt it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not really. but if you yap at me about a fic concept there's about a 95% chance I'll write it for you.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Shadowgast got me through the pandemmy and I adore them with my whole heart. But also. Glance Nation. I couldn't live without you. <3

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

all of them I really wanted to finish The Shadow of You, had it all planned out and everything. But then first year uni happened and I just never came back to it :/. I WILL finish my current WIPS. Manifesting for myself.

16. What are your writing strengths?

umm... angst?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Emotional consistency. I always overcomplicate things to the nth degree and then get stuck trying to figure out what everyone is thinking. It's a disease but I won't stop doing it.

Also plain romance. I just get bored lmao. There's a reason my fluffy things are all a little weird. That or they're just crack treated seriously. I have no middle ground.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

if it's a language I speak then it's good, if I don't speak it then it's bad, hope that makes sense :)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

If we're being all the way honest it was Octonauts when I was 8 before I even knew what the concept of fanfiction was. That one is lost to time and probably also the recycling bin I'm afraid.

If we're talking fic I wrote knowing what fic is it was a most definitely Clone Wars fanfic, none of it published. The first one I published was a Clone Wars/Percy Jackson crossover. A New Camper on ff.net. Go read it if you wanna see what 13 year old me was up to :)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

those are my children. you can't make me pick. i love them all in different ways

But Blackout my beloved... I love you so much. Kissing you on the lips. I know I've been an absent mother but I'll be back for you I swear.

wow this really turned into me writing my own expose. if you want a full tour of my ao3 you're on your own tho bc I can't remember a single thing I wrote during the pandemic. this was fun tho. a real mixed bag going on over here on my ao3

No idea who's been tagged, so if you want to: @weegreenbean @pitconfirm @autumn816 and anyone else who would like to. Tell me about your rich and varied pasts

[mistergandalf]

tagged by @feeweeeee! thank you love ❤️

1. Three Ships: Shadowgast (Critical Role) feeds me. Also Widojest although I accept that ship has sunk in favor of Shadowgast. I’m okay with it. Still cute tho. And then uhhhh I really don’t ship things that’s like all I’ve ever cared about. I have an OC in my Everybody Lives AU and I ship her and Fili pretty hard? Is it shipping when it’s your OC? IDK

2. First ever ship: I wrote a fic when I was EIGHT YEARS OLD about the Merlin miniseries from 1998. I literally still have the notebook I wrote it in because it’s precious to me. It’s Merlin/Nimue but in the fic I spelled it Nemaway because I was a dumb 8 year old lmao.

3. Last song: Uhhh I was listening to my Rings of Power playlist earlier so [checks spotify] looks like “Crimson Aftermath” from ep 7 was the last thing before I turned it off

4. Last movie: I watched Glass Onion with my mom last week and it was phenomenal

5. Currently reading: Nothing because I suck. I brought 3 books with me to this little work trip though and the plan is to start one today. So the choices are: American Gods, Wuthering Heights, or Beren and Luthien. Which honestly really rounds out the three kinds of books I’m interested in lmao

6. Currently watching: I don’t have any unfinished series I’m in the middle of rn I don’t think? Oh wait I was watching Abbott Elementary with my mom. I think I forgot I was watching Manifest so I could start that up again. And I was watching Rise of the TMNT with @mhyinart​ last night and it was great fun.

7. Currently consuming: I should probably eat lunch hmmm

8: Currently craving: Not sureeee... I have this problem where they sent me to a COLLEGE TOWN to work for two weeks and I want to explore the area but I don’t want to be surrounded by 20 year olds lmao.

tagging @starlady66, @thesolarangel, @pepperonyscience, @malledhrim, and @largewoodenbadger to start and okay I want to tag more people but I have SO MANY MUTUALS NOW literally just do this if you see it on your dash mwah 💋

[softlyblues]

MASTERLIST

links to all tumblr/ao3 fics you might be looking for!

my ao3 profile

cr fics

little thumbprints - shadowgast soulmate au

unsweet, bitter - baby essek has an inferiority complex

when he was alone - cad, post-c2

love manifest - caleb & the people who love him

ways to say the words - 5+1 hurt/comfort for caleb

it can’t get no worse - modern!au caleb-centric recovery fic

pressure cooker - orym’s actions catch up to him at the reunion

painting over the mistakes - draco-centric hp rewrite

draco malfoy & the philosopher’s stone

draco malfoy & the heir of slytherin

draco malfoy & the time-turner

draco malfoy & the cuckoo in the nest

misc hp fic

in loco parentis - severus as a more involved godparent! celtic au every au!

accidental fellowships - pevensies land in middle earth 'verse

weathertop and beyond - edmund during the flight to the ford

well-met by moonlight - susan & aragorn

the road to caradhras - boromir & edmund

walking down the river - boromir & edmund

misc narnia fic

weeds spring high (the problem of susan)

good riddance (the problem of susan)

burrowing, burrowing, burrowing - edmund & the black dwarves

misc narnia headcanons

[rockinsappho]

I MISSED 4 SIDED DIVE AND NOW THERES NEW CANON SHADOWGAST CONTENT? DID I MANIFEST THIS WHATS HAPPENING

[meteorito618]

CALEB

[catjacket-scribbles]

Beauyasha wedding: small, intimate affair with only the Nein and a few close friends. Very sweet and personal ceremony and everyone cries and then goes out for drinks afterwards. Beau wears a simple white suit and Yasha wears an elegant black dress.

Fjorester wedding: full-on Nicodranian beach blowout event and everyone they have ever met is invited. The ceremony takes an hour but the afterparty lasts for twelve. Jester wears the largest, laciest dress humanly possible and Fjord wears full formal captain’s uniform. 

Shadowgast wedding: Caleb realizes filing taxes would be more efficient if they were married. Essek concurs so they go to the courthouse the next morning and fill out the paperwork. Caleb wears his ratty overcoat and Essek is covered in cat fur.

[saturdaysky]

Some shadowgast, a decade or two down the line. :) the clock ticks inexorably on, but there are moments of sweetness for them, perhaps.