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symbioticsimplicity · 2 years

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Based on an idea @thediktatortot and I workshopped in the tags of this post. Enjoy Tommy, Steve, Eddie and Billy being trapped in a room together!

Part 2! Part 3! Part 4! AO3 link!

The world was hell bent on making Steve Harrington suffer. He was sure of it, dead-set, knew it in his soul.

Why else would he have gotten trapped in the high school teacher’s lounge with Eddie Munson, Tommy Hagan, and Billy Hargrove of all people?

“--you didn’t skip gym every fuckin’ year then maybe you could have kept up, freak.” Tommy hissed at Eddie, his teeth gritted as he leaned against the door a demodog was currently trying to knock down.

“Oh yeah cause tackle fucking football really prepares you for the goddamn apocalypse!” Eddie snarled back, marring the effect a little by tripping over his feet as he brought over a chair to prop against the door.

“Shut the fuck up!” Billy growled at them both, “‘M tryin’ to fuckin’ focus!”

He had his back pressed against the door, and was probably the real reason that it hadn’t been caved in yet. Ever since he’d survived his face off with the mindflayer last summer, Billy had been different. Not just in such that he didn’t try to take a bite out of anyone who got too close to him half as often, but in that he could bench his fucking car. Steve knew, because he’d seen him do it one of the days he’d picked Max up for whatever dumb thing the kids were up to.

“Oh sorry Lou, don’t let us get in the way of your ‘roid rage.” Tommy snitted back, unable to keep his mouth shut for love of life or limb.

“Tommy, for fucks sake shut your mouth for ten goddamn minutes and help me move this vending machine.” Steve cut Billy off before he could escalate what was quickly devolving into a miniaturized Lord of the Flies reenactment.

Tommy aimed an ugly look his way while Eddie snickered.

“King’s callin’ Hagan, be a good little pawn and attend him.”

“Munson, get your ass over here, you’re helping too.” Steve turned his disapproving glare on Eddie too.

Tommy bowed dramatically, “Ladies first.”

“Age before beauty.” Eddie bowed back.

“Hurry. The. Fuck. UP!” Billy was losing ground by inches.

Tommy and Eddie took their places on either side of Steve and the three of them started to push the vending machine, inch by screeching inch, across the floor and in front of the door. It filled almost the entire door frame. While it wouldn’t keep a pack of demodogs out for long, it would give them long enough to get their shit together again.

“Okay, so plan?” Steve looked between the three men he now found himself stuck with, “Anybody got a plan?”

“Munson’s the ‘Dungeon Master’, isn’t coming up with plans to beat monsters kind of your thing?” Tommy poked again, securing his place on the mental list Steve knew Eddie kept of people he would eat first in a crisis.

“What the fuck is your problem, douchebag?” Eddie turned his full attention on him, “We’re in the middle of some supernatural life or death bullshit, and your go-to is still ‘Shit on the Freak’? My fuckin’ plan is to trip you while we’re running so they slow down to eat your stupid jock ass.”

Steve pressed his fists into his eyes, trying to force himself to breathe through the headache he could feel forming at the base of his skull. Of all the combinations of people…

“I was trying to be nice!” Tommy shouted back, and even with his eyes closed, Steve could see the way his hands were gesturing, “That stupid game you play with your weirdo friends has a lot to do with making shit up as you go along! That’s a skill!”

“....did you just admit to knowing what DND is about?” Eddie sounded more confused than angry, like all the fire just burnt right out of him.

“I-! No- I just…”

“Table that,” Billy cut in, “I’m not getting torn apart by another one of those fucking things because you two can’t focus for shit.”

“Who died and made you boss, Hargrove?” Tommy snapped reflexively.

“Your fucking Dad, Hagan. It’s why I’m fucking your mom now too.”

“ENOUGH!” Steve shouted in a voice that sounded so much like Richard Harrington he hated himself a little bit for it, “None of us like each other, we all know that, it’s whatever, old news! But I’m pretty sure none of us want to die, either. You two know better than anyone that this shit is not a game.”

Steve pointed a finger at Billy and Eddie each in turn before turning his attention on Tommy.

He was scared, of course he was. Tommy had always used his sharp tongue to cover up his weaknesses, and right now he had to have been feeling about two feet tall and made of tissue paper. Steve had stopped flinching about bodies years ago, but Tommy hadn’t been by his side for that change either.

So he tried to make himself sound calm, familiar, like they were just talking like they used to when they were dumb little boys sharing secrets during the secret hours of the night where nothing had to mean more than it meant.

“I know it’s scary as hell, but we’re not going to let you die, Tommy. No one here is dying, not tonight. We’re all on the same team here, and that means we’re going to look out for each other. Okay?”

He held Tommy’s eyes for a moment more, before letting his attention move to Billy, then Eddie in turn.

Eddie was the first to respond, because of course he was.

“Alright, fine. For one night only, coming to an amphitheater near you, the freakiest Friday you’ve ever fucking seen, Off Brand Motley Crue!” Eddie imitated the distant cheering of a crowd and to Steve’s surprise Billy fucking snorted.

He shoved Eddie’s shoulder almost affectionately, muttering “You’re a fuckin’ idiot, Munson.”

Tommy was still staring at Steve when he looked back at him. There was so much going on in the valley between his eyebrows, Steve could practically hear him thinking.

“Spit it out, Tommy.” Steve sighed while Eddie and Billy wandered off to see if they could scavenge anything of use.

“Is this why you stopped talking to me?” He asked with no preamble.

Fifteen different responses flashed through Steve’s head, all in varying degrees of bitchiness. His patience was more like a roulette wheel than a chord close to snapping at this point. There was every chance he’d say something stupid by sheer chance.

“Kind of?” He shrugged, relieved he’d started off neutral at least, “Some of it, I guess.”

“But not the big part.” Tommy laughs humorlessly, filling in the gaps between what Steve means and what he says as effortlessly as he ever did, “Well shit. Here I was telling myself my best friend ditched me to save me from some crazy horrible death or some shit.”

He laughed again, but the sound was as cruel as it was watery.

“That’s not-- you know that’s not fucking fair Tommy!” Steve could feel his expression folding in on itself.

“Not fair? So you’re saying you didn’t completely bail on me instead of being like ‘Huh we’re kinda assholes and I don’t really like that maybe we should work on that’ like a normal fucking friend would?” Tommy snapped.

“If you’d said you just wanted to yell at him yourself, I would have ceded the floor to you without a fight, Harrington.” Eddie weighed in from across the room.

“Shut up!” Steve and Tommy chorused together, causing Eddie to raise his hands in surrender with a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

He turned back to Billy, the blonde rolling his eyes as he tore through a drawer full of seasoning packets.

“I’m not fucking stupid, Steve.” Tommy said firmly, his expression looking far more present and alert than Steve was used to, like he’d come out of whatever place he sent himself when there were other people around, “I know you hated what we were like. You’re a nice guy, you always have been. Even though you’re also a total bitch sometimes.”

Steve almost laughed, but the noise caught in his throat instead.

“Yeah well maybe I didn’t think about it. Maybe I was too caught up in needing to change that I told myself I had to get rid of everything to do it.” Steve clenched his jaw, remembering how hard everything had been back then, how alone he’d felt in the canyon between who he was and who he wanted to be.

“I would have changed with you.” Tommy said to his shoes instead of to Steve, “You know. It’s never been about-- about popularity. It’s always been about making you happy.”

The admission caught him like a blow to the stomach. He felt his eyes tearing up and pressed his thumb and forefinger into the bridge of his nose.

“I think near-death experiences with monsters from other dimensions are pretty good catalysts for second chances.” Steve said, when he felt like he could without his voice breaking on him.

“Catalysts?” Tommy raised an eyebrow, “You spend a couple years around a group of nerds and suddenly you start using the big words?”

It’s an insult but it’s good natured, it’s barbed, but like one of those foam prop spiked bats they sell for Halloween. It’s familiar, and it’s easy, and God has Steve missed bantering with someone who knows how to tease him without actually hurting his feelings.

“Pretty face isn’t gonna get me by my whole life.” Steve replied, a smile sneaking onto his lips as a matching smile spans Tommy’s.

Tommy claps him on the shoulder, “Damn straight, once you hit forty that hair is gonna move onto your back and then you’re screwed.”

Steve laughed, feeling relieved by the resolution of something he hadn’t been aware was still bothering him.

“Yeah, yeah, you can’t say that like your skin isn’t gonna melt like your uncle Fred’s did when you hit thirty.”

“Don’t you dare bring Uncle Fred into this!”

To Steve surprise, the demodogs didn’t come crashing through the vending machine door. After about an hour, they stopped trying to get through entirely.

They thought for a moment that they’d left, but when Billy started pushing the vending machine aside to check, the growling started back up and he quickly moved it back.

“They’re keeping us pinned down.” Eddie muttered around his thumb where he was nervously biting at the skin, “Out of the way.”

“Yeah.” Steve agreed, trying not to let himself think through all the reasons that could be, “Split the party, classic.”

“So you do listen when I talk to you about DND.” Eddie beamed, “Knew it. Closet nerd.”

Billy muttered something that vaguely sounded like ‘closet something’ but he was standing on Steve’s bad side and he couldn’t really be sure.

Steve rolled his eyes, “You try having six kids and a really hyper metalhead talking your ear off about the same thing all the time. See how much you remember.”

“Jock to nerd pipeline not withstanding, you know why splitting the party is a problem, right?” Eddie continued stubbornly on.

“We’re most of their muscle.” Billy answered instead, “Take us out or pin us down, the rest of them are easier to take out.”

“Ten XP to California.” Eddie clapped.

“So you think they’re trying to keep us out of something?” Tommy asked, surprisingly mindful of his tone.

Eddie nodded, gnawing at his nail again, “We need another way out.”

“Not a lot of options.” Steve glanced around quickly, his leg starting to bounce.

“Pretty much just the front door.” Billy agreed.

“So we need a battle plan.” Tommy summarized, “Okay, right. Munson, what are you good at?”

Eddie frowned and Tommy threw his hands into the air.

“I’m not trying to start shit, I’m asking so we can figure out where the fuck to put you. Hargrove is a one man demolition team, Steve has that bat and he’s really good at taking a punch, I’m good at defence and I can lift a lot more than those things, so what’s your deal?”

Eddie thought for a second, and Steve honestly couldn’t tell if he was considering his answer or if he was pausing for dramatic effect.

“Well,” He started eventually, “I’m good with a shield, and I’m pretty strong too. Don’t look like it, but I can manhandle Stevie here pretty easily.”

Tommy shot him a look that he pointedly ignored. There was no way he was explaining any of that right now, or ever if he had the choice.

“Steve is easy to manhandle. Barely even fights it.” Billy replied, “That’s not a good gauge of strength.”

“You could rip an airplane in half, you’re not a good gauge of strength.” Eddie gesticulated in Billy’s general direction.

“I fought him way before that.”

“He’s right though.” Tommy shrugged, “Steve never fights being manhandled.”

Eddie scoffed and Steve was pretty sure he was going to choke to death on embarrassment long before the demodogs ever got him.

“Anyway, back on track, guys. You thinking Billy as the spearhead, you and Eddie flanking and me taking up the rear?” Steve tried to guide the conversation back to safer ground before they did something stupid like bond over having all manhandled him at some point.

“Yeah.” Tommy nodded, “Exactly.”

“That’s what I would have said.” Billy shrugged.

“Jock mindmeld.” Eddie shuddered, “Normally, a sign that conformity is alive and well, but right now? Might just save a life. I hate to say it boys, but sportsball might just save the day this time.”

“I’m telling everyone you said that.” Tommy grinned.

“That tripping you plan can still be enacted.”

#stranger things #eddie munson #billy hargrove #tommy h #steve harrington #harringrove #steddie #mungrove #harringroveson #stommy #is there a ship name for the four of them?#cause if I continue this i'm gonna need one #this was super fun to write #its the bitching for me

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thesportssoundoff · 5 years

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“No but seriously, he has one eye” The Brawl For All Combatants Ordered Out!

So a few weeks ago, I presented you with a beginning outline of what I'm aiming to do here. A chance to take a long look at the Brawl For All; a concept so insiduous that I imagine even Vince McMahon has aimed to bury it in the deepest recesses of his mind. The first time out we looked at its genesis, the concepts and the back stories beyond the concepts:

http://thesportssoundoff.tumblr.com/post/183395306465/what-happens-when-you-take-a-bad-idea-and-make-it

NOW let's take a long look at who participated, who didn't participate and the fallacy behind the entire project IF rumors are to be believed.

A Hot Take To Lead Us Off

This is something I long theorized but a long look at the people involved in the Brawl For All confirmed it for me. So by and large, the Brawl For All was a stupid dumb concept. Agreed, right? Well what if it could've worked elsewhere? Now again the rules are dumb, the genesis behind it was dumb, everything about it from stem to stern is full of stupidity. Allow me to argue that it COULD have worked; just not in the WWF. When you see the roster the WWF was working with here, it's not going to blow you away on paper and we obviously have a mighty fine idea of how the execution went. What about a different Brawl For All roster? Saaay (in 1998 when this happened):

Rick or Scott Steiner- Decorated All American wrestlers for the University of Michigan Scott Norton- Legitimate tough guy bad ass professional arm wrestler, former bodyguard of Prince Jerry Flynn- Taekwando practitioner, former mixed martial artist Earnest Miller- Three time karate champion Glacier- Professional karate man dude prior to pro wrestling Brian Knobbs/Jerry Saggs- The JBL's of WCW in more ways than one seemingly Meng- All time legendary tough guy and bar room savage Barbarian- Genuine tough guy El Dandy- Jam Up Guy Serious Professional All Around Good Man

Plus the other litany of guys who were noted shooters or tough guys on the undercard. Let's also be fair and note that the South was a touch more receptive to the UFC at this point in time than say the East Coast as well. Perhaps it could've worked with a better roster and perhaps WCW, with its glut of shooters and tough guys respected in the industry, would've been better suited for a Brawl For All.

Or maybe it's just a stupid fucking idea with no merit. That too.

So who DIDN'T participate?

Well let's start with the very beginning and work our way back. Let's talk about some of the guys who just opted NOT to participate. For starters, the big stars were obviously not going to partake in this. Right off the jump you have to assume Undertaker, Austin, DX, The Rock, Kane, Mankind, Vader and the like are not going to be participating. This was about giving a bunch of guys they kind of didn't give a shit about something to do so that meant no sacrificing top stars. It was filler programming and obviously everybody doing important shit was busy doing important shit. Also of note was that the WWF did not want originally the likes of Dan Severn, Steve Blackman and Ken Shamrock in it. Ken apparently wasn't interested and made the argument that it didn't benefit him given the fact that he was a genuine UFC star still to take a pit stop in pro wrestling. At the same time, Dan Severn was asked not to participate at first and then had to be coerced into taking a spot when injuries happened. The same goes for Steve Blackman who was signed up after a few drop outs occurred, primarily due to the promise of Blackman being allowed to throw kicks in the tournament. The dropouts are hard to pinpoint but Tiger Ali Singh is one of the more notorious ones per Bob Holly. I've also read around that Ahmed Johnson was at one point supposed to be in it but I've never been able to confirm that (or remember the shoot interview that it was mentioned in). The point is that on its face, the Brawl For All was going to be a shoot fighting tournament without the two genuine proven shoot fighters in case you're curious about the true idea behind it.

Also as an MMA fan, I can't help but notice the # of "I was a last minute addition" stories these guys have. Lord knows that has to be a common thing said by guys like Sean Shelby and Mick Maynerd to get some of these fights done. I'd imagine that "We need a guy and you're going to help us out!" sweet talk happens to this day. My immediate thought is that they were either a) having a tough time filling spots in the Brawl For All and started telling people they were in need of last minute additions or b) most of these guys regret doing it and figure saying they were last minute replacements helps take the edge off.

So who WAS in?

We got sixteen names so buckle up and pour a drink or two.

8-Ball- Ron Harris aka 1/2 of The Blu Brothers aka Vince Russo's Creative Control. Vince Russo has never been a master of subtlety and so I suppose it's no surprise that one of his top angles was "Gang Warz" pitting an all white stable (The DOA) vs an all Puerto Rican tag team (Los Boricuas) vs a mostly all black tag team (the Nation Of Domination). Needless to say, Vince Russo makes it hard to defend him sometimes. To my knowledge neither Ron nor brother Don have any sort of proven fighting experience and the less said about them (and their tattoos), the better off we'll be. Ron (and Don) were rumored to have threatened Shawn Michaels on their last night in the WWF in the 90s, a rumor that seems to be corroborated by at least a few folks.

Steve Blackman- Most of the dudes who talk about the Brawl For All admit that this guy probably wins it all things being equal. Blackman had a legit karate background with some muay thai and amateur wrestling mixed in. Besides Blackman somehow overcame being bedridden for two years with malaria to become a legitimate pro wrestler so needless to say if it's a "Who wants it more?" shoot type deal, he's going to cover the grit and grind department well. Blackman is also rumored to have once taken down The Big Show and held him down until Show begged him to let him up which is akin to Bob Backlund apparently getting the Iron Sheik down and sitting on him until he either lost interest or was asked to let him up. Steve Blackman is by all intents and purposes a badass.

Bradshaw- Apparently the inspiration behind this atrocity depending upon who you ask. Bradshaw's reputation is marred now with incidents of bullying (real or fabricated), pro wrasslin' racism (goosestepping in Germany to get heat, some other old school heel shenanigans) and borderline dangerous behavior like blindsiding the Blue Meanie and beating the shit out of him when Meanie thought it was a working brawl. At this point though, none of that is really widespread and Bradshaw is just a fake Stan Hansen who looks tough and stiffs the hell out of people. He's about to eventually turn into a mute member of the Undertaker's industry before he comes a heel mercenary for hire before they turn into FUN beer drinking cigar smoking mercenaries for hire before turning into a Wall Street rich Texan chasing Mexicans "at the border" to get heat for a feud with Eddie Guerrero. I suppose you cant say Bradshaw didn't earn it at least.

Brakkus- Wooof. Brakkus was a massive German bodybuilder who apparently didn't quite understand that the Brawl For All wasn't worked. The WWF had big plans for Brakkus (if they send you to Memphis to work for Lawler in the USWA, it probably means they had a long term vision for him) but he sucked and no matter where they sent him, he continued to suck. He was bad in Memphis, was bad in ECW and ultimately this feels like an attempt to just do something with him. Again though, how good you are as a pro wrestler doesn't matter in the Brawl For All. It was about legit fighting----and Brakkus apparently according to Savio Vega had no idea he was in a real fight. Keep that in mind.

Mark Canterbury- I have NO idea why Henry O. Godwinn is listed on wikipedia by his real name but fuck it, here he is! So full blindspot up front, I LOVED Henry O' Godwinn as a kid. He carried around a slop bucket, poured what looked like puke on people, wrestled in overalls which helped him stand out and it sort of gets lost in the fact that he was given a dumb gimmick (In the mid 90s, it felt like the WWE was acknowledging how big of a slide it was in because every human being had a side hustle) that Godwinn could absolutely work. Here's Godwinn vs Bret Hart in a killer match btw: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9vihPkNmLM. This was before Vince Russo and company turned them from a fun midcard act into a gross-ish play on Vince McMahon's distaste for southerners. Oh and also! Henry Godwin PROBABLY is doing this with a still kinda broken neck. He broke it in 1997, was told to take three months or more off (Godwinn gives numbers ranging from ten weeks to sixteen weeks) and he just showed back up in less than two months to work through it. Keep that in mind.

Droz- A tragic story all in all which we'll get to eventually. Droz at this point is basically coming out of a dead angle with the LOD where he was written in storyline to be feeding drugs (and whatever else) to Road Warrior Hawk in an attempt to take his place in the Legion Of Doom. If it sounds awful it's because it was and while MAYBE a good writer can make that work, we're talking about the WWF in 1998 trying to soap opera a drug pusher/drug abuse victim angle. It ultimately ended with Droz shoving Road Warrior Hawk off the titantron while Hawk was attempting to commit suicide. Again, it's as bad as you'd believe. Droz had a college football background but that's about it unless I missed some boxing or kickboxing background.

The Godfather- By all accounts the Godfather is a badass. He was hip to MMA before the UFC really caught on, was a freakishly devoted bodybuilder and he just looks like the sort of guy who would take very little shit from anybody. The Godfather is about to become THE Godfather as he's transitioning from Kama Mustafa and the Nation Of Domination's actually good muscle enforcer (Mark Henry is bad around this time and would continue to be such until about 2009 or so) but at this point I'd imagine the writing is on the wall for most of the NOD guys that the Rock is about to leave them in the dust and this group is going to theoretically die a death. The Godfather is about to take a seriously big turn but FIRST, the Brawl For All!

Bart Gunn- At this point, Bart Gunn is doing nothing. Basically nothing. One could even say less than nothing. Bart Gunn is in The New Midnight Express, an angle that Vince Russo has claimed was apparently a way to shut up Jim Cornette and prove to him that old style wrestling couldn't work in 1998. Bart Gunn was apart of the Smoking Gunns and according to him, he had toughman contest experience. Apparently Bart Gunn got brought into the Brawl For All because Kevin Kelly had seen him wear out big guys in Tampa and per Billy Gunn, Bart was the sort of dude who could wipe out a bar room full of people if need be. That said it's not like Bart had any boxing experience or what have you.

Hawk- Another noted tough dude and one of pro wrestling's weirdest mysteries. Every old school dude be it Kevin Sullivan, Jim Cornette or Paul Heyman raves about Hawk as a talent and claims he could've been a major marquee attraction as a singles wrestler. Kevin Sullivan in particular claims that had he had the opportunity to work with Hawk and freshen him up as a singles wrestler, he could've been an Undertaker-esque attraction who drew money across multiple character iterations. Hawk is coming off his personal demons storyline which I mentioned before that sucked. At this point, he and Animal have broken down and are in serious need of repairs from a physical and character standpoint.

Bob Holly- Bradshaw and Bob Holly in the same tournament and somehow they didn't face off? In 2019, I imagine people would be rooting for a double KO (although Bob's image has softened with fans since leaving the WWE) but at this point Bob Holly is just trying to figure shit out in his career. He's teaming with Bart Gunn in the New Midnight Express after sputtering out (HA HA) as a race car driver. Bob Holly is another dude who by in large is just known as a tough guy with a bit of a bully streak tendency behind that reputation. Owner of the wrestling world famous "YOU GOT TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO LEARN HOW TO FIGHT, BITCH!" threat to Rene Dupree before he kicked the shit out of him over parking tickets.

Marc Mero- The story of Marc Mero is a rough one with a happy ending. Marc Mero was really over in WCW as Johnny B. Badd, a Little Richard knock off with a Badd Blaster that shot confetti. Johnny B. Badd was so over that Vince paid him big money to be Johnny B. Badd----only for someone to smarten him up that Johnny B. Badd was a WCW trademark so he had paid for a guy who was trained from jump to do ONE role his whole career. Marc Mero was pretty over and underrated as a wrestler (I SWEAR BY THIS) before his knees gave in. Making matters worse for him was that his wife, Rena, was the women's face of the Attitude Era as Sable. According to Jim Cornette, Marc Mero was trying to be a good husband and help get his super over wife even MORE over---so he took a powerbomb from her on TV. Mero's future big money opponent was Stone Cold who happened to be watching the show at the time from home. Apparently Austin called up Vince McMahon and immediately asked who he would be working with on next week's Raw since he wasn't going to do any business with Mero after eating a powerbomb on TV from his wife. I don't know if this was before or after the Brawl For All though so take that for what it's worth. Either way, Mero is doing a boxing gimmick now (he is apparently a reputable legit golden gloves champion) and so it makes sense he'd be in the Brawl For All.

Pierre- This is a real shootfight tournament. Actual punches are being thrown and takedowns are implemented. This is, again, a legitimate shoot fight----and so of course one of the dudes involved in the shoot fight is missing an eye. Quebeccer Pierre/Pierre Carl Oulette/Jon Pierre Lefitte is missing an eye and was competing in a shoot tournament WITH one eye. We're not talking Michael Bisping fighting with a damaged eye for years on end, we're talking about an actual lack of an eye. This happened, people. We'll talk more about Pierre (and his amazing story in 2019) but right now in 1998, he's JAG who is bouncing between WCW and WWF looking for something to do. He's also at this point known as the guy who refused to put Kevin Nash over in 1995 despite Nash being the face of the company. PCO is the original Bret Hart, refusing to job in Canada.

Scorpio- I gotta admit I have no idea what Scorpio is doing here. I bet he doesn't know either if we're being truthful. Scorpio is one of those guys who was ahead of his time but seemed incapable of staying on the right path (whatever that means in wrestling) to get what he was due. He had come into the WWF in 1997 as Flash Funk and so I imagine Flash Funk was over and he's just killing time until the Job Squad angle. Scorpio is apparently a legit tough guy (or madman depending on who you ask) and held a 1-0 unofficial record over Hawk after he beat the shit out of him in WCW.

Dan Severn- Dan Severn was told he wouldn't even be allowed to participate and then was told the day OF the taping that he was needed to take a spot. Severn is not too far removed from being a UFC everything (champion, tournament winner etc etc) and so he's for the most part a prospective favorite. That's probably why he wasn't asked to compete at first I'd imagine since the plan was PERHAPS to get somebody else over. Another rumor is that Severn is such a boring plain dude with a boring plain style (Severn admits his plan was to never throw a punch and just grapple people) that if he had won, there would've been no payoff in it.

Savio Vega- I have NO idea if Savio Vegas has a professional sports background or what the deal was. Apparently Savio Vegas asked to be in it and was also the unofficial official matchmaker (he drew the names out of a hat) and he's Puerto Rican so he's got my rooting interest right away. I think Los Boricuas at this point were in full swing and Savio was obviously the head of said stable. Gang Warz was dumb as hell.

Steve Williams- And we reach the FINAL name. "Dr. Death" Steve Williams. Steve Williams was a former football player at the University of Oklahoma and one of the more decorated wrestlers in Oklahoma history. He had carved out a niche in Japan by this point after establishing himself as a star in Mid South with the occasional stop off in the NWA/Jim Crockett Promotions/various regional feds and start ups. Williams didn't have any official fighting background but he was a crazy good wrestler and by all accounts a ridiculous bad ass. Jim Cornette tells stories of Dr. Death fighting fans and laying bodies to waste with little to no effort. He was also extremely popular with people in the WWF office, namely Jim Ross and Jim Cornette. Bruce Prichard doesn't QUITE say that the WWF thought Dr. Death would win the Brawl For All but he does a damn good enough impression of Jim Ross advocating for Steve Williams that I have to believe it. Vince Russo has spoken in the past about Steve Williams being Jim Ross' "boy" and how this was basically his way of seeing whether Jim Ross was right. Bob Holly has said that they were already doing vignettes with Barry Switzer and interviews as if Dr. Death won the Brawl For All. Dr. Death claims that the Triple H push of 1999 was the one Vince had promised him before the Brawl For All.

All of this brings me to my final point.....

Dr. Death was never going to be a big star in the WWF

I truly hate to speak ill of the dead and I'm trying hard no to either. Let's just speak from a more realistic pragmatic grounded stance. The kind of talent that was getting over in 1999 falls into three distinct categories. The first were talkers, guys and gals who could rap so to speak and had tremendous presence. Promo guys could carry the day and even IF you gave Dr. Death a Jim Ross to do the talking for him, let's not forget that by 1998 at this point in July there's basically just one manager actually doing anything as a talker and that's Paul Bearer. "Dr. Death" Steve Williams was not a talker and even if he was, he's certainly not the kind of talker who would fit in Vince McMahon's WWF. The second were guys who were big with "the look" according to Vince McMahon. Pull up a picture of every top star in 1998 for the WWF and then slide Dr. Death in there and ask if he fits the mold. He's unique for sure and there's the Mick Foley outlier----but imagine how long it took Mick Foley to be seen as legitimate by Vince McMahon. Even if Dr. Death is the definition of a Jim Ross style Hoss, he looks woefully out of date by 1998 standards. He in many ways, like a lot of guys who frequently toured Japan and basically were behind on the times, looked like he had been left in 1988. Lastly there were the gimmick guys; the Undertaker, Kane, The Rock, DX, Austin etc etc. Dr. Death's gimmick was that he was an ass kicker which is great but AGAIN we are to believe every human being in the WWF at this time is an ass kicker. Maybe Vince and company would've found a way to get something out of him but the chances are that Dr. Death would've never been a big star. Could he have feuded with Stone Cold? Surely! A big money draw? A multi million dollar hit? I just don't see it. Can't imagine it. Also let's be fair here, how toned down would his style have been for the WWF at the time as well? Is he going to suplex Steve Austin around after Stone Cold broke his neck? I'm not quite buying that either.

So there's your sixteen. You got a few amateur wrestlers ten years beyond their competitive days, a boxer or two, a toughman contest guy, a few dudes who dabbled in kickboxing and a man with legitimately one eye. You've got the guy who the company thinks SHOULD win it. So who won the fuckin' thing? How did they win it?

That's for next time.

#WWF #WWE #Brawl For All #Scorpio #Dr. Death #Steve Williams #Bart Gunn #Bob Holly

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lodessa · 6 years

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Responding to @talsi74656 in regards to that starting line(s) of your last 10 published fics meme. I thought I’d propose a mirror image one:

List the first lines of your oldest 10 published stories. See if there are any patterns yourself, or have other people say what they notice. Tag up to 10 friends!

I once again excluded anything under 2000 words to get to actual fics (which eliminated a lot of my Harry Potter stuff) and posted the whole first paragraph. Additionally I limited this to works I’d actually pulled over to AO3 (I didn’t try to go back to my original pseud I had back in high school).

One interesting thing is that these ten fics happen to align with college and the year afterward pretty exactly, cutting off right before I met my now husband.

But, @talsi74656 it’s pretty clear my way of starting stories has changed.

1. The Different Pieces (Harry Potter, June 2005)

Neville thought it was late when he got back to the boys dormitory after spending the evening wandering the grounds with Luna, but when he arrived everyone else, except Harry, was still out. Harry was perched by the window, cheek pressed up against the glass. He looked up when he heard Neville enter, which was easily noticed because Neville had managed to bump into the corner of Dean's bed and cursed in response. Harry's eyes looked glassy and Neville wondered what Harry was doing sitting up here all by himself.

2. Tryst (Veronica Mars, December 2005)

Weevil thought he probably should have been suspicious when Logan suggested the meeting place. He probably should have suspected a trap... after all he had burned down the boy's house and scared him pretty damn bad. He wasn't though, for some unknown reason, and that was what frightened him most of all. Any sane person would have told a friend where he was going, just in case. That was the kind of shit they taught you as a kid wasn't it? Problem was, Weevil didn't have any friends... and even if he did, he wouldn't have been able to tell them he was going to meet up with Logan Echolls. Of course, if he'd had friends he could tell about his rendezvous with Logan, he wouldn't need to be meeting him in the first place.

3. Eli, (Veronica Mars, February 2006)

When Eli comes home, limping and on foot, it's clear that he's lost a lot more than the bike. His grandmother must be able to see it too; because, she doesn't comment about his failure to pick up his little cousin Maria. He thinks that maybe this kindness only makes it worse. If she was lecturing he'd have something to fight against, not that he ever talked back to his grandmother verbally but at least there would be a defense in his head. Instead there is only a plate of homemade cooking, set in front of him silently. He wants to tell her what happened, but there are already too many things he has to hide from her to ever come clean; the less she knows about that part of his life the better, he's always said. It stings to think that "that part of his life" has been forever destroyed. He'd thought it was something he'd have forever... well not forever but, fuck, he certainly hadn't thought it would end like this. It makes him wonder if maybe he should have listened more to his grandmother when she brought home those brochures about colleges and trade schools. "You were always such a bright boy Eli" she used to say. Eli remembers when he was 9. His teacher, Mrs. Lockwood, had recommended him for the special advanced math group; by the time he was in 9th Grade, he had been in special math again, but on the other end of the spectrum this time. Eli brushes the thought aside. It's a useless, traitorous, thought, and he's had more than enough treachery today.

4. An Offer You Can’t Refuse (Veronica Mars, March 2006)

Veronica is surprised when Clarence Weidman shows up in her living room one afternoon, a few months after they tracked down Amelia DeLongprey's murderous ex-boyfriend and she expected she'd seen the last of him. There he is though, fingers elegantly laced together across his lap, looking like they could not be used to strangle and break, looking like he wasn't uninvited. She tells herself the sudden tightness in her chest is surprise. What was Kane software's head of security doing sitting on her couch? Duncan. It had to be about Duncan. Veronica thinks, not for the first time, that Clarence Weidman is more of the Kane Family Head of Security than that Kane Software one.

5. Unlike Minds (Veronica Mars, May 2006)

Group projects were the devil. Everyone knew that. Teachers always paired you up with whoever's work habits were least like your own and linked your grades together to provide the most awkward and uncomfortable experience possible. Today was no exception, Mac thought as she trudged across the classroom.

"Ummm… hi." Mac said, walking awkwardly up to Lizzie Manning. Her fraying t-shirt felt glaringly discordant beside Lizzie's $300 top, which could easily have been intended to be lingerie.

"Hi…" Lizzie replied distractedly, absorbed with her image as displayed by her compact mirror.

Mac couldn't really blame her; if she had Barbie doll looks like Lizzie, she'd probably spend all her time glued to the mirror too.

6. Unfinished (Angel the Series, June 2006)

It is to be expected that, after returning from a hell dimension like Pylea, the world as Wesley Wyndam-Price knew it looked better, that he appreciated it more. However, it was not the case. The world as he knew it was filled with just as much catastrophe as it always had been. In fact, things might have been worse. The moment they had walked back into the hotel and seen Willow, the brilliance of the initial return was lost and things only got worse from there.

7. Longing (Veronica Mars, July 2006)

Veronica awoke with a start, covered in sweat, to find herself in Logan's suite at the Neptune Grand. It was the third time this week that Veronica had woken from dreams about Clarence Wiedman… hot, steamy, sex dreams about Clarence Wiedman. Clarence Wiedman was a cold blooded killer, and Veronica didn't even want to know what else, and in her waking life it wasn't like Veronica found that at all sexy. Sure she might have to admit that, after they worked together to solve Amelia Delongpre's murder, she admired his cool collected calm, but that didn't mean anything other than professional respect. So these dreams, the ones where his hands had skills other than breaking and maiming, skills that had Veronica shuddering in ecstasy, they didn't have anything to do with reality of course. Still Veronica flushed just remembering the sensations she'd experienced in her latest dream, when the Head of Security for Kane Software had taken her, up on a ledge while they were hiding from mobsters. Veronica reminded herself that it was a dream, and had nothing to do with the reality of the man she was with in it, that she had no way of knowing that he actually tasted of cloves and mouthwash; for all she knew, Clarence Wiedman was gay.

8. Failed Crusades (Angel the Series / Firefly, July 2006)

Lindsey knew he shouldn’t be surprised that he wasn’t able to escape Wolfram & Hart’s grasp, that they’d found a way to make his blackmail useless. In retrospect, he supposed, he should be glad that they didn’t toss him in a hell dimension for a couple millennia to wash the traitorous urges right out of him. Of course, this ‘verse, as the people around him referred to it, might as well have been a hell dimension Lindsey suspected. He sort of wondered whether the reason that Earth wasn’t around anymore was the firm’s beloved apocalypse and whether Angel had gone evil after all. It didn’t really matter though, because much had remained the same in the world and Lindsey still had clients to deal with, just now he was on a space station instead of located in LA. The government… Alliance as it was called, had some part to play in the senior partner’s newest death and brimstone party plan, and Lindsey has been instructed to give them whatever they needed. Apparently, what they needed at the moment was some waifish girl. The girl was supposedly some sort of man-made telepath. Wolfram & Hart still specialized in the paranormal in this distant future.

9. Gravel (Harry Potter, August 2006)

He'd known she would come, his ever watchful sister-in-law with eyes that burned like embers. She was feverish to know everything that concerned their Lord; so, when Lucius noticed her watching Him pass the diary to him, he'd known she'd come looking for it. So he laid in wait. He was not disappointed either: as the sun set blood red she came creeping into his study, not the main study, but the one concealed behind the bookcases. He said nothing as he watched her steal in, crimson robes trailing on rich eastern carpets. He said nothing as she lifted the diary from its place on the desk and sat down on the floor, laying it open in her lap to examine. Her hands stroked its surfaces almost lovingly, searching for its secret. Unable to discover one, Bellatrix retrieved a knife from his desk drawer; Lucius did not wonder how she'd known exactly were he kept the little scythe-shaped ceremonial one. Laying her arm onto the diary , Bellatrix split her wrist open with a whispered incantation and the blood swirled through its pages. Bellatrix's eyes lit up and Lucius knew that the blood sacrifice had worked, despite being overkill. As her eyes glazed over, he couldn't help creeping out from his hiding place to see what the diary was showing her.

10. 5 Reasons Weevil is Unhappy Veronica is Dating Logan Again (Veronica Mars, November 2006)

It doesn't take any sort of personal grudge or long drawn out history to get that dating Logan Fucking Echolls is a dumb idea. It's pretty much a fact, not an opinion, as far as Weevil's concerned. He cheats, he lies, he's more than a little arrogant and self satisfied. He's a waste of the fucking riches bestowed upon him for no good reason and the opportunity he's not taking any fucking advantage of. Weevil totally buys that Logan's a fucking train wreck: his girlfriend murdered by his now assassinated father, mother jumped off a goddamned bridge. Boy definitely has issues. Weevil's got grounds for issues too: father who disappeared, mother who overdosed, feelings that never should have formed for a spoiled little rich girl who never knew when to call it quits and ended up dead, gang turned traitorous, and a felony conviction on his record. Yeah, Weevil gets the fodder for bitching and moaning, and maybe if he had millions and nothing but time on his hands he'd be crying about the injustice. He doesn't, though, and if he did he certainly wouldn't think himself worth any chick, let alone someone like Veronica. Not that the girl doesn't have scars of her own, but she doesn't deserve any more. He thinks she should get that but she doesn't, keeps dating assholes like Logan. He has to assume that if she were healthy enough to deal with it she wouldn't be. V's got her whole life ahead of her, open and waiting, and dating Logan is like giving all of that up and going to her worst and most pathetic self. It's a fucking shame. Seems to be the motherfucking way of the world. Anita's new boyfriend isn't any better than her last. He guesses that's what their father taught them to expect. He doesn't think he treats women like shit, though, and he doesn't know where Veronica leaned that kind of crap; because, the sheriff really seems like he's there for her one hundred percent. It seems fucked up and unfair and it makes Weevil want to hit things.

Tagging: @talsi74656, @pixiedane, @sophia-helix, @austennerdita2533, @liminal-zone, @electricbluebutterflies, @emmikamikatze, and anyone else who wants to do this.

#writing #meme

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glacecakes · 7 years

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Dipper’s Guide to the Bunexplained

Made for @ayoecho‘s triple dip au, based on this post! Enjoy the product of severe boredom and silliness.

Word Count: 1111 (no, seriously)

Summary: In which Dipper makes a video, Mabel plays bad cop, and Bill gets sassed repeatedly. (Polydip, heavy Tybip)

“Welcome to Dipper’s Guide to the Unexplained! Today we investigate… my boyfriend.”

“Dun dun dun!”

“Please no sound effects thank you.”

Dipper readjusted the camera away from his intro card, directing it towards Mabel and an irate Bill, who was sitting on (read: handcuffed to) a wooden chair. His face was covered in little bites and cuts, and his hair was a mess. Mabel had a bright light shining on his face and a glass of water on the nearby table.

“So, tell me again what happened to Tyrone?”

“I’m telling you nothing! This is treason!” Bill yelled, kicking his legs in protest.

Mabel growled, getting in his face. “You’re gonna tell us or we’ll dump you in the lake!”

Bill stared at her blankly. “No you won’t,” he monotoned.

“Try me,” Mabel countered. She reached for the glass of water.

“You know I don’t need a clone right?” He asked.

“Yes but if you don’t tell I’m not making you another,” Dipper called from behind the camera. “Look, just tell us what happened to Ty, and you can go set a shelf of the shack on fire, deal?”

Bill instantly brightened at the idea of sanctioned destruction. “Deal!” He grinned. Mabel shut off the harsh light, but didn’t uncuff him.

“So, I noticed that Tyrone was avoiding me at certain times of the month, and I figured, ‘does he not want me to see him when he bleeds?’ which is dumb, because we both go through it,” Bill rambled.

“I go to check up on him one night and I hear a bunch of crying and groaning, and I go ‘oh shit, those sound like bad cramps’ and obviously I’m not gonna let my boyfriend die, because clearly he was dying-”

“He was definitely not dying-”

“And I go inside the room, and he’s got bunny ears!”

Both Dipper and Mabel paused at that. “He… he’s got what?” Dipper asked.

“Bunny ears. And whiskers, and a lil bunny tail, and fangs,” Bill monotoned as if it was no big deal.

“Anyway, I stop and just stare for a second, because ‘what the hell? I know I make fun of Dipper for being a cat, and Tyrone for being skittish, but I didn’t think he was actually a rabbit!’ and then he hisses and jumps me!”

“Jumped as in, kisses?” Mabel teased. Bill glared and gestured with his free hand to his marred face. “Right right, continue.”

“After he tried to kill me, he jumped out the window and ran into the woods,” Bill finished. “And then you came in the room and thought I tried to kill him.”

“I never thought that,” Dipper muttered.

“So, he’s a werebunny?” Mabel concluded. “Is that why he keeps eating all the carrots?”

“I wasn’t aware he could eat carrots,” Bill muttered. “He’s probably attacking someone’s garden right now, if that helps.”

“So we lure him out with carrots, grab him, and… then what?” Dipper said, plans beginning to form in his mind. The twins turned to Bill, who shrugged.

“...Grunkle Ford?”

The camera cuts away to a dark clearing, somewhere in the middle of an evergreen forest. Bill is no longer handcuffed, and his face is bandaged up, but there is no werebunny in sight.

“Ok, so here’s the plan,” Dipper ranted. “We got a bag of baby carrots from the fridge-”

“Are these even still good?” Mabel asked.

“Not important. Anyway, we’re gonna leave them out and hide in the trees for Tyrone to show up. Grunkle Ford says that a werebunny can be subdued by grabbing them by the ears, so when Tyrone shows up, Bill will jump down from the trees-”

“Wait why me?”

“And grab Tyrone by the ears so we can figure out how to cure him. Ok?”

“I have a few concerns about why I’m the punching bag.”

“Because your body is disposable.”

Bill paused. “...Fair enough.”

The camera cuts again. This time, it’s a bird’s eye view, implying that the three kids are hiding in the trees. On the ground is the bag of baby carrots, opened so Tyrone can smell it.

In the corner of the clearing, a bush rustles, and out comes what can only be described as a bunny boy. True to Bill’s words, he’s got long, brown rabbit ears and barely visible (from that distance) whiskers. The rabbit boy creeps close to the bag of carrots, sniffing it carefully. Once he’s sure that it’s safe, he sits down and starts eating them. Oddly enough, he isn’t walking on all fours and nibbling like a rabbit, but rather he’s sitting criss cross and eating with his hands like a human.

“Ok, he took the bait,” Dipper whispered. “Now, Bill-”

“TELL MY STORY!!”

“Oh good lord.”

Bill dropped down from the trees, spread eagle like a skydiver, landing directly on top of Tyrone, who screamed. He couldn’t get away in time, and was flattened underneath the hellspawn.

“BILL! GET OFF ME!!” Tyrone screamed. All three of the bunny-hunters paused.

“You’re sentient!?”

The camera cuts one last time. Dipper and Mabel have climbed down from the trees. Mabel is on screen, but Dipper is not, meaning he’s holding the camera. Bill has not gotten off of Tyrone. Instead, he’s stroking the werebunny’s ears. Said ears are flicking in annoyance, and their owner is glaring up at Bill.

“What does that mean, ‘I’m sentient?’ Of course I’m sentient! When was I not?”

“When you attacked me!” Bill yelled, pulling away from his petting and pointing to his bandaged cheek. Tyrone paled.

“I attacked you? Oh god, I’m so sorry! I swear I don’t remember!”

“You don’t?” Dipper asked.

“No! I just remember wanting some carrots really badly, and then my face started itching really bad… the next thing I know I’m in the woods, and was trying to find my way home when I saw the carrots…” He trailed off. “Why did I eat those, anyway? How did I know they were still good?”

“They’re not, they expired last week,” Mabel muttered, looking at the bag.

“Tyrone, have you seen yourself in a mirror lately?” Dipper asked.

“No, why?”

Bill grabbed one of the ears and flopped it down on Tyrone’s face so he could see it. Tyrone gasped.

“What are those!?”

“Bunny ears. You’re a wererabbit,” Bill drawled, scritching Tyrone’s scalp, which made him melt. “Wonder how that happened, anyway…”

Mabel grinned at the camera. “To be continued, my dear brother?”

“To be continued!” Dipper called from behind the camera. “Next time, on Dipper’s Guide to the Unexplained, we try to cure Tyrone and find the source!”

“Hey Bill? Can you get off now?”

“No.”

#gravity falls #gf #triple dip au #tybip #bipdip #tydip #polydip #my art #echo this is for u

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