#maybe a 6 on the ol' feels-o-meter

[recurring-polynya]

I try to make this Tumblr a place for my truest friends, those nice people who read my fanfiction, to get bonus content. I wrote this a couple of weeks ago, on a wave of inspiration. It’s an expansion of an event that came up in Between Tides – Renji breaking his arm back in Inuzuri. This will eventually be a flashback in a larger story, but not for a while, so this is sort of like a preview. (mmmaybe The Heart is a Muscle p6? I am mid-p4 now).

Anyway, here’s a sad story about Inuzuri, dirtbag teens in love, and back-alley surgery. I heard you like flashbacks, dawg, so I put some flashbacks inside of the flashbacks.

Rated T for some gruesome imagery and one cuss. You don’t have to have read any of my previous work, although I guess this contains some mild spoilers for the Heart is a Muscle.

As usual, @diademchiofthetripod made it better for me, particularly the beginning, but if there are parts that are still bad, those are mine.

In later years, when she recalled The Accident (which she usually tried not to), Rukia always thought of herself as the stupid one, but really, she wasn’t doing anything much stupider than usual. 

She saw the man’s lead pipe, of course; dull and heavy, hanging by his side.  It was a serious weapon in Inuzuri, and he was a large man with a mean face, but he was also sloppy drunk, and his money pouch was beyond tempting, only loosely tied to his belt. She had made it ten paces away, nearly across the street, when she felt the hand clamp onto her arm like an iron band. What she had failed to notice was that her mark had a partner.

Said partner had one hand tight on her neck, the other twisting her own hands painfully behind her back, while the mark tapped the pipe in his hand and slurred out all the things he was going to do to her after he split her head like a melon. Rukia was running numbers, examining possibilities, playing out scenarios for escaping. 

It was not looking good.

The man raised the pipe.

Rukia squeezed her eyes shut.

It was the worst sound she had ever heard in her life to date, a meaty crunch, the shattering of bone. Later in her life, there would be worse sounds, the sound of a sword sliding through flesh, the sound of an Arrancar’s Resurrección. But this was bad enough.

Rukia also had a partner, a loud boy with a stupid amount of red hair, who had just interposed himself between Rukia and the lead pipe. Wait. That was incorrect. He was not a boy any more. This was, in fact, the exact moment when she stopped thinking of him as a boy. He towered over almost everyone she knew in this town, this awful place where everyone and thing was stunted and twisted. His shoulders were wide and strong, despite never getting enough to eat. He had not been a boy for a while.

 Right now, the air around him boiled. The lead pipe was bent ridiculously over his forearm. Rukia could not see her rescuer’s face, only his broad back, and past his shoulder, the wide eyes of the man with the leadpipe. Then, Renji growled out what the terrified man could do with himself, and clocked him in the face with a left cross before whirling on Rukia’s captor. 

The partner was startled by the arrival of this flame-haired monster, and Rukia slipped his grip, kicked the man in the nards, and beat it. She was not abandoning her partner, she would never. This was standard protocol. They had stayed alive in this brutish place for over eight years by being small and quiet and very, very quick. They would need some new strategies, Rukia, realized, because Renji was no longer small and quiet. He was still quick though, she could hear his heavy footfalls behind her, feel his presence in her wake in a way that, as far as she knew, only the two of them could do. She was glad he had stuck to the old standard operating procedures, too, even though he now very well qualified as one of the brute class.

She ducked between some decrepit buildings, under some hanging laundry, around the stench of the tanner’s, and skidded to a halt in a dank alley illuminated by a thin shaft of dirty sunlight.

For a long moment, she breathed in and out, watching the dust motes hanging in the air, afraid to turn around.

“Rukia… are… are you alright?” Renji panted behind her. 

She slowly turned. He was cradling his right arm in his left. 

“I’m fine,” she said. “Let me see it.”

She should have called him an idiot, a moron. Could he not find a weapon, a stick, anything, rather than his own precious body to put between her and certain death?

“It doesn’t look all that bad,” he admitted, experimentally holding it out for examination. 

It looked terrible. It should have been a bruised lump of blood and pulp, but instead, it just looked wrong. The bones were not in the places where arm bones should be, nor were they the right shape, but the skin was miraculously unbroken. He could move it around and flex his hand well enough, although this caused things to shift around sickeningly beneath his skin. The entire arm was slowly turning a deep purple.

“Does it hurt?”

“Yeah, it hurts pretty bad.”

“Dammit, Renji,” Rukia glowered at him. 

The look in his eyes was sheepish through the pain, and her heart twisted in her chest. Why did she always have to be so impulsive, so stupid? Why?

*   *   *

Rukia hated taking so much of the food, but she and Renji might need it and Fujimaru didn’t. Mameji was sick again, so Rukia left some for him, though they weren’t sure whether it actually helped. It seemed like he was through the worst of this spell, but she didn’t want to take any chances, as if waking up in Inuzuri every morning didn’t constitute taking a chance.

“Make him stay in bed for at least two days after he seems better,” she ordered Fujimaru, as if he didn’t know this, as if they hadn’t all been through this a dozen times now. “Thank you for staying with him.”

“Whatever,” Fujimaru said glumly, his eyes glued to the mangled mess of Renji’s arm.

Renji was uncharacteristically quiet. They had already had the argument, screaming through the night, and he had lost. Renji was the biggest of them, the strongest. His stoicism meant nothing, the gang depended on him. They had to try to get it fixed.

There was a healer, more of an apothecary, really, who lived up in 76. Seeking medical attention was a valid reason to get a travel pass, but they lacked the finances for the bribe, so they traveled by stealth instead. 

Rukia and Renji went up to 77 all the time for thievery purposes. They were too well known in Inuzuri, and also, there was better stuff to steal up there. They didn’t take the others with them, not anymore. One border crossing was a calculated risk, less so when you could use your spiritual pressure to lighten your feet and keep air in your lungs. Two was exponentially more dangerous. When you arrived in Soul Society, they branded a number on your soul with demon magic. The penalty for being caught in a place that didn’t match that number was supposed to be a second death, but the vile souls that passed for law enforcement down here would probably find some much worse things to do to you first. One district away meant safety was only a mad dash for the border to get you back where you belong. Two districts was something else entirely.

Rukia tried not to think about how Renji had made this journey once before, in the middle of the night, with herself, dying, tied to his back. She imagined he didn’t like to think about that much, either. She had been gored by a wild boar, out in the woods, her side ripped open. Renji had stopped the bleeding with his spiritual energy, a feat that he had not been able to reproduce, nor did he wish to, because it hadn’t healed anything, only burned the wound closed. The old apothecary had apparently had to tear her open again, and sew everything back together with needle and thread and his own meager healing abilities, while Renji looked on and held down her convulsing body.

The old man was not a kind man or even a good man. He did not work on charity cases, but he saw a strong young man who could read and write and even do a few figures, so Renji spent the next six weeks working off his debt, collecting payment from deadbeats on top of a little light bookkeeping and writing out prescriptions, while Rukia slowly recovered in the back room. 

Renji could have stayed. Rukia was listening at the door when the man offered to get him a work pass. A work pass, the value was immeasurable. “They’ll let you keep the girl with you, if you tell ‘em she’s your wife,” Rukia remembers the apothecary saying, the words burned into her brain, and for a moment, her head swam with possibility. Renji was always trying to gain steady employment, but there was little to be had in Inuzuri. This work was mildly unsavory, but hardly the worst thing they’d ever done. She hadn’t seen much of life in District 76, but surely it had to be miles above 78. 

 “Thank you,” he had said quietly. “But I got friends depending on me back home.”

“You’re a moron,” the man told him. 

Renji never mentioned it to her and she wasn’t about to admit she’d been eavesdropping. She agreed with his decision, it was absolutely the correct one. Still, it sat heavy and dark in the pit of her stomach, the idea of what he had given up, alongside the guilty feeling that some part of her, no matter how briefly, had wanted him to agree to it, especially the part where she got to stay too. 

After that, she asked him to teach her to read and write, a crusade he’d given up on after years of her rudely brushing him off. She could still do neither as well as he could, although, she realized with a sick feeling, that it was his right arm that was broken, his writing arm. She hoped she could be as valuable to the old apothecary as Renji had been.

But when they reached the shop, it was run down and in ill-repair. The apothecary, whose name was Kitajima, looked old, very old. One could theoretically live forever in Soul Society, but most souls become worn down eventually, and once the degradation began, the end usually came on quickly.

“Barely have any business these days,” he grumbled. “Don’t need any help.”

Fortunately, for as poorly as the job turned out, Rukia had managed to make off with three silver coins from that asshole with the lead pipe. The apothecary’s rheumy eyes locked on them. “I will take a look,” he agreed. 

“As I told you the last time you were here,” the old man growled at Renji as he examined the arm, “You have the demon magic in you. The shinigami use it to cast spells, but also to push their bodies past what is normally possible. Like a fool, you have done this without proper training. You have broken and healed yourself simultaneously,  but with no skill, and you have made a hash of it.”

“I wasn’t trying,” Renji pointed out plaintively.

“Can you repair it?” Rukia asked.

“I can rebreak it,” Kitajima replied, addressing Renji only, as though Rukia didn’t even exist, “and set the pieces properly. It will take all your silver. I will need the girl to help. It will be terrible.”

The more powerful painkillers had been sold off long ago, so Kitajima gave Renji some willow bark tea before they started, and optimistically suggested that he would probably pass out very quickly.  Rukia had seen Renji take a lot of damage before, and had an awful sense that this cheerful prediction was not to come true. 

The things that happened next are best glossed over. But when it was finished, Rukia sat with Renji’s sleeping head in her lap, smoothing his hair back from his sweat-glazed forehead. Kitajima was trying to give her instructions, but her head still spun from the horror of it all. 

The old man would not bear the risk of harboring souls outside of their home districts, not this time. As soon as Renji could stand, they needed to leave.

It was likely that Renji would be set upon by fever. Kitajima pressed a few more packets of tea into Rukia’s hand. It might help. If she could not keep the fever down, it would likely kill him.

There was one last thing. The old man took her wrist in one withered claw. “There are ducts in the arm. They are not real. They cannot be seen without the second sight. It is how the demon magic runs through your body, from your heart to your hands. His were injured, possibly ruined. I have fixed his bones, but this cannot be fixed.”

“I understand,” Rukia replied, even though she didn’t, not really. Later, she would see pictures in textbooks, and truly understand what he had lost.

The fever set in even before they left, but the old man’s good will had worn out, and it was nightfall, the best time for going, so they went. Renji’s temperature increased steadily as they moved south, sticking to the treeline, away from where people lived. His eyes were bright and wild, and he spoke of things that didn’t make any sense, a farm, a mother, a pet dog.

Rukia couldn’t decide whether it was better to stop frequently, to give Renji rest and a chance to drink his medicine, or if it was more important to get him home, to a roof and a blanket and most importantly, safety. She compromised by dragging him through the night, his huge bulk leaning more and more heavily on her shoulder, until they crossed the Inuzuri border, where they collapsed together in a pile of dead leaves under a big oak. The sun was coming up, and the bare branches of the tree did little to block its rays, but Renji fell unconscious almost immediately.  

Rukia rested, but she did not allow herself to sleep. Renji was burning up. Maybe the sleep would help, maybe it wouldn’t. She wanted to bathe his forehead, but she needed to conserve their clean water to mix with his medicine. She thought about searching for a stream, but she was terrified to take her eyes off him, even knowing there wasn’t a thing she could do if he took a bad turn. It was a chilly day at least, and she wished for cold breezes, even as she shivered.

She wanted to be furious with him. How dare he even think about trading his life for hers, as though outliving your friends was some sort of mercy! But she couldn’t stay angry. She knew, she had known since they put Kosaburou in the ground, that she had it in her to push onward though sorrow, through despair. But Renji had anchored himself to her, even moreso than the others, although he would never admit it. When she died, so would go the thin threads of common sense and self-preservation that tied him to this plane. He wasn’t the depressed type, at least she didn’t think he was, but he would just keep doing progressively stupider and riskier things until he’d finally earned his lottery card for meeting up with her again in the World of the Living.

Luckily, after a few hours, his fever broke, and not long after that, he woke. Rukia propped him up against the trunk of the tree, and made him eat one of their sour, wrinkly apples while she heated his tea with her demon magic, as the old man had called it.

“When did you learn to make heat with it?” Renji croaked. “Can you teach me?”

“You have to get better first,” she replied gently. 

“Ru– Ru– Rukia, I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“You dumbass,” she chided him. “It was me. I was the one who was stupid.”

“We– we both need to be more careful,” he wheezed.

She studied his face. There was the faintest shadow of stubble on his jaw. He wasn’t a boy anymore. “No, I think that’s wrong,” she replied. “Being careful isn’t going to save us. Enough people saw you block a lead pipe with your bare arm. That’s a good start for a reputation. We would be foolish to waste it. It’s time to stop sneaking and skulking, and be bold and brash instead, to take this town for all its worth.”

He leaned his head back against the tree. “Can we start… tomorrow?”

Rukia laughed, and brought over his tea. When she bent to give it to him, a bold and brash thought seized her, and as his hands took the cup from hers, she leaned in and pressed her lips to his. He froze completely, his muscles locked in something like rigor mortis. She knew, with utter certainty, that his brain had abruptly devoted 100% of its processing cycles toward not dropping that tea.

This was the second time she had kissed him. The first had been many years prior. Inuzuri was a bad place for children, and girls in particular. Rukia had decided early on that, even if it wasn’t necessarily good, she wanted her first kiss to be freely given, and with someone she thought fondly of. She had carefully considered all four boys; any of them would have sufficed. Kosaburou would be gentle and thoughtful about it. Fujimaru, cheerful and easy going. Mameji would take the obligation very seriously, and never tell a soul. And then there was Renji. Grumpy. Pessimistic. She wasn’t even entirely sure he liked girls– he scolded the other boys any time they had “romantic notions,” as he put it, and he stiffened like a board if he thought she was going to touch him. Perhaps, like a cat, she was drawn to him because of the discomfort she sparked, but he was the one her heart settled on. She cornered him under a different tree, one summer morning when the others had already headed down to the river for some fishing. 

“I want to kiss you,” she informed him. “Just the once, not a regular thing. Is that all right?”

His eyebrows drew together. “Why me?”

“I like your hair,” she replied, the first thing that popped into her head.

He contemplated this for a minute, then shut his eyes and clenched up his entire body, like he was ready to take a punch. “Okay. Go ahead.”

“You can just say no if you don’t want to,” Rukia replied. “You look really, uh, nervous about it.”

He took a deep breath in and out through his nose, and then his face relaxed, if not the rest of him. “Naw, it’s okay. I want you to. Go ahead.”

Rukia didn’t actually know much about how kissing worked, so she just sort of pressed her face up against his, their lips and noses squishing together uncomfortably. When what she gauged to be the correct amount of time had passed, she retreated again. “Did I do okay?” she asked.

Renji’s gaze was unfocused and he seemed to be having trouble breathing. “Yeah, it was nice,” he agreed, his voice sounding very far away. She suspected he was just trying to be kind.

“Let’s go fishing,” she said, and then he chased her down to the river like nothing at all had happened.

Rukia had observed a few more kisses since then, and had a better idea of how it was supposed to go, although Renji was no more helpful. She squeezed his fingers gently as she backed away.

“You saved me,” she said very quietly. “The hero is supposed to get a kiss.”

“Rukia,” he murmured, staring into the cloudy tea, unable to meet her eyes. “You shouldn’t’ve. We can’t.”

“You don’t want to,” she suggested.

“That’s… untrue,” he managed, and took a sip of his tea. 

“Then why can’t we?”

“It would be unfair. The others…”

“I love all of them! I love all of you!” Rukia proclaimed, and Renji stiffened. That was the true sin, not kissing, but loving, in this forsaken place. They never said that word, none of them, not even once. But they had lost Kosaburou already, and everyone knew Mameji’s cough was never going to go away, and being careful wasn’t going to save any of them. Rukia swallowed. “But you’re the one I want to kiss.”

Renji squeezed his eyes shut and drank more of his tea. It wasn’t fair of her to do this to him while he was in tremendous pain, but she had almost lost him, she could still lose him. The fever might return, the wound might sour. And even if he recovered, there was the next heist, the next lead pipe, the next boar. Rukia felt seized with the need to make the most of every minute in between.

Renji sat back, rubbing at his splinted arm ruefully. He looked awful, pale and hollow-eyed and clammy with old sweat. Rukia loved him so much, she couldn’t stand it. She shouldn’t have said it out loud, she realized. The word was, indeed, a curse, an evil magic spell.

Renji turned his head to the side, pressing his cheek against the bark of the tree. “You’re such a bother, Rukia. You saved my life the first day we met, and you’ve been nothing but trouble to me ever since.”

“I know,” she replied.

“Can I go back to sleep, or do we need to get moving again?”

“You can sleep for a bit if you like, but you’ll be more comfortable back at the squat.”

“I’m comfortable enough here.”

He closed his eyes, and Rukia wondered if he was going to sleep like that, propped up against the tree. After a minute, though, he opened them again.

“If you want to kiss me now and again, I suppose that would be all right,” he pronounced with an air of finality. “But I kinda feel like shit right now, so maybe we could start that tomorrow, too.”

[aldmerii-blog]

bitch u know i want all of those answered for shaelle. i ain’t ever gonna stop loving you or her. bitch

aubren i would literally go to war for u. 

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

im boutta give her a bunch of middle names to upp the fancy meter here we go

so her full as name. the name she signs on Official Documents. is Lady Shaelle Alihanna Amoniel Erunae Dasyra

her middle names are the names of prominent ancestors, because her mom’s Like That. both her siblings are named after ancestors too. her first name translates roughly to “increased happiness”. 

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Master Wizard of the Luniac, Heir to the Third Advisory to the Crown of Serin Ilyan.

master wizard is the title she got for graduating. the luniac (academy) is a prestigious school in the city. 

and her family holds an advisory position to the queen. sort of like a cabinet? when she inherits the position it’ll change to Third Adviser to the Crown.     

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 

her childhood was very happy! idyllic, even. she was a leeeetle bit of a spoiled brat. she really really didn’t take to being told “no” and her parents weren’t hands-on raising her, she had nannies. and her nannies kind of gave up fighting with her. it wasn’t their money, anyway!

anyway. her favorite memories are times spent with her brothers, particularly sundemar! he’s closer to her in age than sylvar is (i can’t remember how much older than her sylvar is, but sundemar is two years younger). she was the brains, sundemar the brawn, and they got up to all sorts of trouble. 

bad memories... one time her dad hit her but that’s about it. 

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? 

HA. distant, i guess. her mom treats her more like a colleague and she doesn’t talk to her father even though they all live together. 

good memory w/ pollae was when shaelle graduated. pollae was so legitimately proud of her and straight said so. bad memory was seeing her mother cry when sylvar got arrested. 

good memory with her father was uhhhhhhhhh. visiting her paternal grandma when she was very very young, before she died. bad memory is every other minute with him. 

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

two siblings! sundemar, younger brother. sylvar, older brother. she was very very very close to sylvar. he was her friend and confidant. sundemar was close to her when they were kids but they’ve grown apart since she started school. now she doesn’t really talk to him and she CAN’t talk to sylvar because he’s in PRISON. 

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

she was teacher’s pet. she loved it. she graduated with highest honors and there is literally no further “schooling” she could have -- she’d just have to do research on her own from now on. 

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 

she was friends, at least loosely, with most of her parents’ colleagues’ children, and she’s run in those same circles ever since. she doesn’t have many close friends, though. 

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? 

no, no, well enough. she’s not averse to having pets but her mom hates them, and since she still lives with her mom. yknow. 

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 

dkjlfs not really. she’s a little nervous around animals and i think they can sense that. she’s okay with relaxed animals like. cats. 

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

she likes kids a lot! i think kids like her? she has a sort of caring maternal presence and she does very fun magic tricks. she very much wants kids. 

i think she’d struggle with being a parent, at least at first. because she doesn’t have anyone to model her own parenting after. but i think al and al’s mother especially help her fall into it better. she’s very encouraging and supportive but she is terrible at saying no. 

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

nope! she eats most vegetarian but that’s mostly a cultural thing. 

12. What is their favourite food? 

heavily spiced curry. 

13. What is their least favourite food?

Cucumber Sandwiches. 

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

a picnic with her brothers as a tween. laying under a leafy trellis on a blanket, with the sound of the ocean’s dull roar somewhere in the distance. eating dates and hummus and little cakes.  

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

she’s never had to cook in her entire life. and she is atrocious. she can, like, dice carrots or whatever. but that’s it. she just straight up don’t cool for people. she’ll pay someone else to do it.  

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? 

perfume! she has hundreds of bottles of perfume. she has her favorites on her vanity and the rest in a glass case in her closet. 

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

if she took photos, they’d be either selfies of her with acquaintances or of parties. maybe som like studyblr type photos. and she’d been an instagram queen. 

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

she either reads nonfiction hard science books or epic poetry. and music...she’s not really into. poetic ballads. 

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

uhhhh thriller/whodunnits 

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

no, no, not really. she’ll hum along to a song she knows. 

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

OH BOY DOES SHE. she does not take kindly to being disrespected, especially. like there aren’t a lot of things that piss her off but she has a short fuse on the things that do. and she. usually will get violent. if she can’t hurt you directly she’ll find some way to ruin ur fucking life. 

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

usually insults that imply someone is stupid/foolish. idiot, fool, etc. sometimes dumbass if she’s feeling vulgar. and it’s usually because they did something stupid. but she doesn’t often insult people directly to their faces. 

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

she has a pretty good memory! she can remember names a lot better than faces. she’s better at. like. facts and dates and shit than people. 

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

midnight to 9am, pretty constantly. she does not snore, but she does sometimes mumble in her sleep. and she sleeps. on a big ol canopy bed on imported linen sheets. and she absolutely sleeps on a featherbed. 

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

she’s a witty banter kind o gal. but i think she laughs easily at what other people say. she’s not particularly funny. 

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? 

she’s not super expressive. she’d probs smile more easily or even laugh more but that’s about it. unless she’s around someone she likes, then she’s open and giddy and giggly.

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

she cries real easily, but she usually tries to keep that hidden. listen my sweet girl gets overwhelmed really easily because she never learned how to deal with her emotions in a healthy way so she just cries. 

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

she’s really afraid of making bad decisions. she’s afraid people will get hurt because of her. or that she’ll do something so bad she gets disinherited and leaves her family with sundemar as its heir. yknow. 

also zombies. 

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? 

she tries to comfort people, usually. or explain why they shouldn’t be afraid. that kind of thing. 

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

dude you couldn’t convince shaelle to exercise. she does not like being sweaty. she goes on walks sometimes but that is It. 

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

NO. jfdls no she does not drink. she doesn’t trust herself to. her brother’s an alcoholic and she’s afraid she’ll get addicted too and she’s not willing to risk it. though she does take care of drunks when she comes to them. 

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

She’s Fancee. big skirts, ruffles, embroidery, sewn in pearls. all her clothes are custom made. she mostly wears up-to-date fashions. to sleep, she has a selection of ruffly nightgowns. she wears “”natural”” makeup, designed to make her look prettier without being noticeable. and her hair is wavy and silky and she does a lot with it -- it’s very cooperative. 

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

f. fantasy underwear? modern!shaelle would wear cute little lacy undies. matching bras always. 

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

pear shape! she got Hips n Thighs. narrow-ish shoulders and small tiddies. (ok not small like a comfortable b cup). she’s about 5′5. and she doesn’t hate her body. she wishes she was shaped less like a human but what can ya do. 

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? 

human food is guilty pleasure. dancing is unguilty. 

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

she’s. hm. a good wizard. and smart. but she doesn’t really have any hobbies or talents. come to think of it she’d probably be self-conscious about that. 

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

she loves reading! she’s a fast reader. either poetry or non-fiction. she doesn’t read a lot of fictional prose. 

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

people who are charismatic/good with people. bravery, loyalty. also people who have any talent with musical instruments, because she’s pretty rubbish. 

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 

she writes letters but modern!shaelle would write emails fjkdsl. 

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

she drinks caffeinated tea in the morning. and she really likes sweet food. but generally she’s fine to stay up without it. 

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

she’s uhhhh bi i guess? she likes people who are tall. stronk, usually. she really likes intelligent and kind people. but she is Not Picky. ideally she /needs/ someone who supports and encourages her and attends to her emotionally stunted ass but she rarely gets it. 

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

survival basically? look basically she’s on a path she’d rather not be on with no way out. if you’d asked her at sixteen what her goals are, she would have told you she wants to travel and study magic and maybe teach, once she gets old enough. and she’d still love to do that. but she’s got a noble house to run now so she’s just. gonna do that. 

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

nooo. she. thinks it’s foolish and pointless, and religious people fools. she’s not mean about it and won’t say anything on it unless you try to preach to her. 

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? 

spring! warm sunny spring days! she complains about the heat more than anything else but that’s because she wears heavy clothing. even her lightest clothes are heavier than they should be. 

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? 

uhhhh I don’t think so? i would think people who know who she is would be a little intimidated by her. she’s very smart and marginally powerful. but she sees herself as weak and foolish and ineffectual so! 

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

she usually makes a? pretty good first impression? among peers, at least. mostly by virtue of her manners and title, because she introduces herself by letting everyone know she’s a master wizard and is gonna have the queen’s ear in a decade so like. lol. 

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

She Loves Fancy Parties. that’s one thing she’d miss about being an academic, less opportunity to dress up and be better than other people. but yeah she loves getting dolled up and dancing and gossiping. 

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? 

fancy parties, tea parties, dinner parties, galas, etc. she both hosts and attends, but never without being invited. and she’s very well-mannered and good at making party small-talk. 

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

she’s. pretty sentimental. she still has all of sylvar’s books, even though they are of no interest to her. she has a necklace he gave her for her last birthday w him that she wears a lot, but not always. 

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

HH. a book, paper, ink, pen, toothbrush, soap, perfume, change of clothes, magical focus. 

[junker-town]

An NFL player’s guide for the right (and wrong) time to hurdle

Ezekiel Elliott and Todd Gurley are two of the NFL’s best hurdlers. | Credit: Getty Images / SB Nation illustration

NFL players aren’t going to stop hurdling, but hopefully they take these suggestions into consideration.

Hurdling is both an exciting and terrifying aspect of football. When hurdling another player actually works, it’s awesome. But when it goes poorly, it’s embarrassing, and worse, it can lead to an injury.

Hurdling has been a go-to highlight move for years, but recently it seems to that more and more players are doing it in the NFL.

That doesn’t mean every player should attempt it during a game. Luckily, we put together a handy guide to help.

Hurdle if you have the genes to do so

Case in point: Ezekiel Elliott

Elliott was drafted by Dallas fourth overall in 2016, and led the NFL in rushing twice in his first three seasons. His production over the last few years has made him worthy of being considered one of the NFL’s best backs.

Doing things like this certainly helps that reputation. Elliott absolutely destroyed Eagles cornerback Tre Sullivan during a Sunday Night Football game in 2018:

Zeke, this man has a family pic.twitter.com/K6GRcEvZaM

— Blogging The Boys (@BloggingTheBoys) November 12, 2018

That is absolutely perfect form: he clears the defender with ease and lands his feet and body forward so he can keep barreling downfield.

“Zeke says if these guys are gonna go low, I have to be able to show them that I’m gonna go over the top of them by hurdling ‘em,” said Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett in NFL Films’ The Hurdle.

He also had this hurdle against the Bears in 2016, during which he was airborne for a solid three years:

This isn’t a new move for Zeke whatsoever. He also did it at Ohio State:

Photo by Jamie Sabau/Getty Images

Part of the reason Zeke can hurdle like this is that it’s literally in his genes — he hurdled in high school, and his mother, Dawn, was an all-conference track star at Missouri. His sister Lailah is a sophomore on OSU’s track team, where she runs hurdles, too. His other sister Aaliyah ran track and hurdles in Missouri as well.

It runs in the family... (Photo cred @pj844) pic.twitter.com/ipmTwuWRBC

— Momma, Mom & Mommy (@itz_mizdee) November 12, 2018

Not all running backs agree with his decisions to go jump over defenders, though:

“He better stop that,” said Hall of Fame running back Tony Dorsett in 2017 via the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. “That’s one thing that I don’t like. When you get airborne, you’re at the mercy of the hit, and sometimes you can’t protect yourself.”

Dorsett disagrees with Zeke hurdling, but genes don’t lie.

Hurdle if you’ve ever won a state championship in the event

Case in point: Todd Gurley

The Los Angeles Rams running back is a freak of nature, and he could probably hurdle in every single game if he wanted to. One of his best hurdles came during a 2017 game against Washington when Gurley jumped over D.J. Swearinger like it was nothing:

“You don’t really ever teach a guy — that’s not something that you coach,” said Rams head coach Sean McVay via The Hurdle. “I think certain guys, they just kind of have had to feel how to control their body and really since they were younger kids.”

Gurley does this type of thing a lot:

Photo by Harry How/Getty Images

A good reason Gurley is so good at this? He won a hurdling state championship in high school in North Carolina, setting school records in the 110 and 300 meters. Gurley’s high school track coach, Andrew Harding, thought Gurley was a good enough hurdler to win a gold medal in the event.

“That’s how talented he was,” Harding told ESPN in 2017. “I really do believe he could have been that. I don’t make that comment with just about anybody, but Todd was that gifted.”

Like Zeke, Gurley hurdled in college, too:

Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Although Gurley hasn’t gotten injured from hurdling, he realizes the risks that are involved.

“One day, it’s probably going to end bad,” Gurley said on ESPN’s Undisputed in 2018. “Until then, I’m going to keep jumping. For the most part, it’s more DBs. Most DBs are not going to hit a running back high, especially if they’re going 100 miles per hour fast at them. It’s kind of just a reaction and for the most part, it’s been working.”

Hurdle if you’re 6’5 and have impressive athleticism

Case in point: Josh Allen

The Bills’ first-round draft pick made his second career start on the road against the Minnesota Vikings in 2018. He finished with 39 yards and two touchdowns on the ground, including this amazing hurdle over the Vikings’ Anthony Barr for a first down:

This just in: Josh Allen has ups!#BUFvsMIN #GoBills pic.twitter.com/xv6cxtKu2h

— Buffalo Bills (@BuffaloBills) September 23, 2018

“I was trusting my feet, trusting my gut,” Allen told ESPN after the game. “There was a guy who was maybe three yards in front of the sticks. I knew we needed a first down there and we went on to score on that drive. It was a big play, but it was just another first down.”

This type of play coming from Allen might’ve been unexpected coming from a quarterback. But as Adam Stites pointed out, Allen’s athleticism shouldn’t be too surprising:

He had above-average results in just about every drill at the NFL Combine, including his 4.75-second 40-yard dash, 33.5-inch vertical, and 119-inch broad jump. But other quarterbacks have put up similar numbers and never looked good on a football field.

Those who want the Bills’ franchise QB to stay healthy might not want him to hurdle and risk injury, but it’s pretty awesome that Allen is able to do this in the first place.

Hurdle if you have ridiculously strong, tree-trunk like legs

Case in point: Saquon Barkley

The former No. 2 overall draft pick made a name for himself in college, where he finished as Penn State’s all-time rushing touchdown (43) and total touchdown (53) leader. But he was powerful off the field, too. Back in 2017, Barkley broke a Penn State weightlifting record when he did this:

Penn State Strong! Barkley 405lbs Power Clean pic.twitter.com/1LnAEYqy73

— Iron Lions (@IronLions1) June 29, 2017

Barkley’s thighs are so jacked we once came up with 20 nicknames for them. His speed and athleticism for his size is quite the combo. At the combine, he checked in at 6’0, 233 pounds, and still managed to run a 4.4 40-yard dash with a 4.24 shuttle and 41-inch vertical leap. During Barkley’s rookie season with the New York Giants, he rushed for 1,307 yards and 11 touchdowns, and was selected to the Pro Bowl.

During that same rookie season, he hurdled over dudes like Malcolm Jenkins with ease:

Best 9-yard run you'll ever see? @Saquon #PHIvsNYG : @nflnetwork + @NFLonFOX + : https://t.co/DJUityQHC9 pic.twitter.com/fbSXGmIRo4

— NFL (@NFL) October 12, 2018

To avoid risking injury, Barkley may not hurdle in the future all too often, but it’s certainly fun to see when he does it.

Hurdle if you can make a pass rush play

Case in point: Seattle linebacker Mychal Kendricks

The eight-year NFL veteran suffered a knee injury in December 2018 that sidelined him for the rest of the season, but he’s fully healthy for Seattle this season. So healthy, in fact, that he freaking hurdled Ravens running back Mark Ingram while trying to pressure Lamar Jackson:

Mychal Kendricks with the pass rush hurdle @MychalKendricks pic.twitter.com/TLKNlD18ie

— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) October 20, 2019

Granted, Ingram was probably a lot easier to hurdle than, say, an opposing offensive lineman, but Kendricks made a good decision here since he was able to get to Jackson afterward.

Hurdle if you’re an ageless wonder

Case in point: Vernon Davis

During his NFL Combine, Davis ran a 4.38 40-yard-dash — part of the reason he was the No. 6 overall pick by the San Francisco 49ers in 2006, the fourth-highest tight end selected in draft history.

Incredibly, Davis has been able to maintain a 14-year NFL career, which is double the average league career length. At 35 years old, his style of play hasn’t slowed down one bit. During a 2019 game against the Eagles, he showed off this hurdle:

What’s even more impressive is that he scored a 48-yard touchdown after making this leap!

I’m just saying, I don’t know many 35-year-olds who can hurdle like this.

Don’t hurdle if you’re a tight end born after 1996

Making mistakes when you’re still a young player is part of the game of football. That’s been evident with tight ends, who have made incredibly poor decisions to hurdle in games, especially in 2019.

Case in point: Ravens TE Mark Andrews

The 23-year old Andrews tried hurdling against the Cincinnati Bengals and well, he ended up fumbling the football because of it:

Some things are just a little too ambitious...#CINvsBAL | #SeizeTheDEY pic.twitter.com/8Y41z7ROqY

— Cincinnati Bengals (@Bengals) October 13, 2019

But even after the game Andrews admitted he isn’t ruling out hurdling completely in the future.

“I’m not going to stop being me, being an aggressive player,” Andrews said via Penn Live. “It wasn’t anything they did. I hit the ball out with my own knee, and I gotta be better than that. I can’t do that to my team. That’s not acceptable.”

Case in point: Buffalo Bills TE Dawson Knox

Knox was selected by the Bills out of Ole Miss in the third round of the draft. Call it a rookie mistake, but Knox made an equally ill-advised decision to hurdle against the Titans:

O U C H (via @thecheckdown)pic.twitter.com/YCCLrDyOt0

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) October 6, 2019

The best part in this video is the announcer going “Mm!” during the replay because yeah, ouch.

Case in point: Lions TE T.J. Hockenson

Hockenson — a former Iowa Hawkeye and Detroit’s first-round draft pick — made a bad he had this scary hurdle attempt against the Kansas City Chiefs:

The hurdling phenomenon may have just come to an end. TJ Hockenson is hurt after this play pic.twitter.com/Dv4pGGCD5W

— Jordan Dajani (@JordanDajani) September 29, 2019

What’s worse is that Hockenson actually got hurt on this attempted hurdle, and had to get carted off the field after the play.

Photo by Rey Del Rio/Getty Images

He was in the concussion protocol for a couple weeks because of this injury, too. But like the Ravens’ Andrews, Hockenson isn’t completely ruling out hurdling in the future:

“Nah, I’m going to go out there and play the game,” Hockenson said when asked if he’d stop attempting to hurdle. “I’m not worried about anything else. I’m just going out there to play the game, whether that opportunity presents itself or not. I’m not going to change anything based on one thing.”

Don’t hurdle if it’s illegal

Case in point: Hurdling over linemen to try and block kicks

In 2017, the NFL banned defenders leaping over linemen to block kicks. It’s a pretty tragic rule change, because at its best it produced beautiful block plays like this one:

That’s former Seahawks DB Kam Chancellor hurdling against the Panthers in the playoffs in 2014. This particular block didn’t count (Chancellor ran into the kicker after the hurdle), but it was still an amazing attempt.

Here’s what the NFL rulebook says about leaping now:

Running forward and leaping across the line of scrimmage in an obvious attempt to block a field goal or Try Kick, or apparent kick, unless the leaping player was in a stationary position within one yard of the line of scrimmage when the ball was snapped. A player who is more than one yard behind the line of scrimmage before or at the snap, may run forward and leap, provided he does not cross the line of scrimmage or land on players.

That doesn’t mean players haven’t tried. During a 2018 game between the Seahawks and Vikings, Bobby Wagner used his teammates to jump over the line to block a kick:

Bobby Wagner is a freak pic.twitter.com/tIA4EMxDha

— Jackson Frank (@jackfrank_jjf) December 11, 2018

The refs should have called a penalty on the play since you aren’t allowed to use your teammates for leverage, but they didn’t throw a flag. So Wagner got away with one there.

There are obvious concerns with hurdling linemen, and the first one being safety.

Don’t hurdle if you’re playing in a dang preseason game

Case in point: Reggie Bush

During an August 2015 game between the San Francisco 49ers and Denver Broncos, the then-49ers running back Bush attempted to hurdle five-time Pro Bowl corner Aqib Talib. Let’s just say it did not go ideally:

First of all, to address Bush’s decision to hurdle: this is absolutely terrible, especially given how low Bush still was to the ground. Bush was lucky he didn’t get hurt here, as Niners Nation pointed out at the time.

Bush, at least, could laugh at himself after the game:

Lol damn did it look that bad on TV? All I could do was laugh at myself! #iwasntready… https://t.co/M9Lb0ABloi

— Reggie Bush (@ReggieBush) August 30, 2015

Glad Bush found the humor in this, but just a bad idea all around here.

As you can see, there’s a very thin line between being a highlight and a blooper when it comes to hurdling.

What side of that line you might end up on might be a bit difficult to gauge in the middle of a play, but hopefully this guide helps. While NFL players aren’t going to stop hurdling completely, they can certainly take these suggestions into consideration.