#maybe i just miss having grandparents. they were human with all associated quirks foibles and flaws but they genuinely thought i was awesome

[ithinktheygotthealias]

i’m (slowly) watching netflix’s atla and while i am still formulating Thoughts on it, one thing they definitely, thankfully got right was Uncle Iroh.

which got me thinking, as one does, about fanfic, and how most of the atla fanfic i’ve read has been very gen stuff about iroh parenting zuko. and i think this real speaks to the core of what fanfic is about. like sure, we may want to read about hot characters fucking, but there’s a reason why hurt/comfort and angst are, and have historically been, some of the most popular genres in the medium.

it’s the very human desire to have someone at the end of the day to tell us “you did your best. you matter. let’s rest now” and have that person get us, so well that we believe them.

the reason it usually manifests through shipping is that we’re predisposed to want that from romantic partners. firstly because that’s the person you choose to go home to every night for the rest of your life (ideally) (, which i think is very valid), but also because the vast majority of us don’t really get that from their parents/guardians/adult figures, so we go looking for it in people we see ourselves in equal footing with. be honest, how many people do you know that have or have had an uncle iroh figure in their lives? do you have one?

when i’m doing ok mentally i like reading fanfic before going to sleep. earlier in the day if i have time i like to read original stories, but i need that comfort at the end of the day. when im not well i want to drown myself in fanfiction and forget everything else. i think the repetitiveness of the stories we tell ourselves comes from the same place. there’s something comforting in knowing that spock will always belong at jim’s side, like he’s always been there and always will be, that’s comforting in the dead of night.

(and if you have a loving partner, or anyone else in your life, who provides you with this reassurance, and you still read fanfiction, that’s normal too. humans like both finding things they can relate to and platonic ideals in their stories)

back to uncle iroh, i think this kind of wish fulfilment is even more visceral when it comes to parenting because it speaks to where the desire comes from in the first place. i know i do, so maybe this whole thing was just me projecting hard.

and so, Internet Stranger, if you stopped to read this until the end: you did your best. you matter. let’s rest now. and may you find as many persons you believe in as much as they believe in you as you need.