#maybe ill throw them in a more intense situation next time i try it bc it just ended up focusing on wolfwood and his silly newspaper

[ruporas]

in a mood (ID in alt)

[blookmallow]

and now we return to outlast 2, where- 

THINGS KEEP GETTING SO, SO MUCH WORSE

(i have... a LOT im trying to process about this whole section sorry for upcoming text walls. really nasty #blood / #gore in here as well though) (i didnt realize i was This far behind on liveblogs lmao i drafted this. a while ago and didnt get back to it until now) 

---

so i fell off the bridge (shock. horror. who could have predicted this) and right into the scalled village

what.............happened to you 

fuCKING GO D

so it turns out “the scalled” are... some kind of leper colony banned from the town and left to fester and rot out here alone 

most of them are just lying around suffering and dying, i dont know what the fuck happened to them, there’s some mention of like. wildly untreated syphilis/potentially other stds they’re being told is their curse for the sins they’ve committed but does.... syphilis do that to you. it might actually be leprosy i dont know i dont want to research this. all i can think about is when i watched jesus christ superstar in high school and the leper colony song where they’re all crowding around jesus all trying to touch him REALLY freaked me out for a while

i mean its like. probably a combination of disease left horrifically untreated and massively infected given the absolutely appalling conditions these people are living in (everything’s run down and full of blood and shit and who knows what else), starvation, who knows what they’re even finding to eat out here so that’s probably causing even more disease but still jesus christ

at first it just made me really sad, sure these people came from temple gate too so they were. fucked up cultists to begin with but a lot of this is like... result of longterm emotional and mental abuse and manipulation, some of these people might not have started out as depraved evil murderers, and like. nobody deserves to live like this. except knoth lmao throw him down here, but

so i thought maybe it would turn out that you realize they’re human too, they’re just in a fucking LOT of pain and maybe you can’t do anything to help them (i dont think there’s any hope for anyone down here at this point) but maybe they’d turn out to be on my side and do something to help me fight back against the leader who abandoned them, “the most absolutely fucked up looking people are actually the most human” kind of thing but uh. that is not how things went. at all, 

ill get into How Fucking Bad this got in a second lmao but like

most of them dont really do anything to you other than bleed on you and beg you for help, some people lash out but thats like, understandable given the horrifying state they’re in, but

as it turns out, being the “scalled messiah” is a VERY bad thing, they went from occasionally lashing out at me to outright tracking me down to murder me to death which, like, honestly kind of disappointing

bc one of the things i liked the most about the first outlast was how many of the prisoners were clearly just victims too, some of them (lookin at you, naked twin guys,) were just evil and murderous but some of them were just very very mentally unwell (exacerbated by horrible living conditions and the fact that the people who were supposed to be protecting them and helping them recover were actively, intentionally working to make their symptoms worse) and couldn’t really be blamed for acting violently toward you, but

then sometimes there’s people who warn you about dangers ahead, people sitting in corners hiding and scared and wont hurt you unless you give them a reason to think you might be a threat, people just trying to stay alive, people who need help 

but that’s. not the case here, and there’s definitely a particular kind of horror in “absolutely no one in this hell town can be trusted, nobody will help me, everyone here wants to hurt me and every time i think ive made any kind of progress it gets so much worse” (except that ONe guy who tried to protect me. im still sad about him) but. i dont know i feel like there’s a missed opportunity here. im not sure if im supposed to feel like the scalled deserve to be like this because of the kind of people they were before, but i dont. i feel like the “what the fucking shit HAPPENED to these people” horror is heightened by the realization that they’re people, and just kinda using them as attack zombies is. missing something, somehow. i dont know, i cant figure out how to word what i want to say here 

i mean its absolutely fucking horrifying, i was scared out of my mind going through all this, and i still gotta give props to a video game experience that left me legitimately feeling like i needed to go take a shower and crawl under a blanket for a while 

i guess ultimately with outlast im coming here to be scared shitless more than anything else and boy did they ever fucking deliver

ok im gonna stop bc i will keep talking in circles about this forever if i dont, moving on

WHAT EVEN ARE THESE GUYS, APART FROM COMPLETELY TERRIBLE

im guessing theres some kind of... inbreeding birth defect situation going on here but i cant even process what im looking at 

that and its hard to look at them at all considering the only times i see them im getting murdered to death. my panicked screenshots hoping to get a better look later did not help 

PRETTY SURE THEY JUST MADE HIM DRINK THEIR BLOOD, 

how the fuck has my dude not thrown up like 90 times already. im glad he hasnt bc im bad emetophobia but outlast 1 did it so im honestly surprised that hasnt happened unless ive just forgotten it in the blur of nightmares im going through here 

OH

THAT’S... NOT GOOD

THAT IS REALLY, REALLY NOT GOOD

FUCK SHIT MOTHERFUCKING FUCK

i gotta say im impressed with how FAR they GO with this one, i have no idea how much game i have left but considering this isnt even the ending i am HORRIFIED to see what the fuck is gonna happen next 

i mean outlast 1 has you getting your fucking fingers sliced off and whistleblower has. That Scene (even though like. it stops before waylon actually gets cut its REALLY CLOSE)  

this whole time i kept thinking something would happen and they’d get interrupted, I’d escape somehow, they aren’t really going to have the player character get literally fucking crucified from your own perspective,

but then the nails go in 

and you’ve got one hand literally nailed to a cross

and then they start the other one 

and i was like, WOW FUCK, THEY ACTUALLY DID IT, BUT NOW HE’LL ESCAPE... SOMEHOW.... RIGHT ??? 

but they lift it up 

and you’re hanging there 

and for a second i legitimately thought it was gonna end there for him, i thought he was actually just going to die there and the game would continue with lynn or something (which, to be fair, would be a pretty cool twist, but i dont WANT blake to just die here like this) 

ANYWAY!! FUCKING GOD, THAT SURE HAPPENED 

but against all odds HE SOMEHOW DIDNT FUCKING DIE, and managed to find the strength to rIP HIS HANDS OUT OF THE NAILS AND FALL DOWN

i cannot fucking IMAGINE what that would feel like. i dont want to imagine it but i sure the fuck am now 

i dont know if its possible to like. die from bleeding out in this scene if you dont find the bandages fast enough but it sure felt like i was going to 

fucking hell i can practically feel it in my real hands i HATE THIS i HATe it

god. fuck. im gonna be thinking about this scene for the rest of my life i didnt think anything would ever be worse than the finger slicing scene in outlast 1 but this. i think this wins

wHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!??? THERES SOMETHING CHASING ME IN THE SCHOOL FLASHBACKS NOW IM NOT EVEN SAFE HERE ANYMORE

WHAT *IS* THAT??!??

w OA h

i still have no IDEA whats going on with these flashbacks either, clearly his classmate hung herself and he feels subconsciously responsible for it because he didn’t do anything to stop her (though it doesn’t sound like he Could have done anything, and. they were kids), there’s definitely some buried trauma he never dealt with thats resurfacing now but

i still dont think its just a manifestation of trauma, because like. the recordings are still coming out as fucked up static, if he was just having really intense hallucinations there wouldn’t be any record on the camera, it would just be him filming nothing and talking to himself through a panic attack, it wouldn’t be getting consistently corrupted ONLY during the flashbacks so what the fuck is happening 

COLA

DRINK IT

i m losing it its the cola machines from the first game i diD NOT EXPECT THESE TO BE HERE 

what the fuck is christian salad 

you didn’t think i would see this, outlast devs, you thought you could hide this on the menu board and i wouldnt notice. i did notice and i demand answers

NO!!!! THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF OKAY THIS IS THE LEAST OKAY I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE 

WELL!!!!! OKAY!!!! ALRIGHT!!!! NOW THAT I’VE BEEN LITERALLY FUCKING CRUCIFIED, FELL DOWN A HILL AND STRAIGHT INTO A FENCE OF BARBED WIRE, GOT DRAGGED OUT HERE AND BURIED ALIVE, CRAWLED MY WAY OUT OF MY OWN GRAVE AND NOW HAVE HOARDS OF DISEASED ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE CULTISTS SEARCHING FOR ME SO THEY CAN DEVOUR MY FLESH, LET’S GET GOING, SHALL WE 

THIS IS FINE!!! EVERYTHING IS FINE I CANT SEE SHIT AND THERES NOTHING BUT TREES AND BARBED WIRE EVERYWHERE AND NO INDICATIONS WHATSOEVER OF WHERE I NEED TO GO BUT IT’S F IN E IM DOING GREAT 

[atzfiles]

the park

request: “May I request a scenario with Han or Felix where the reader is usually alone and by themselves so he tries to talk to her but she doesn’t want him to but he annoys her to do stuff after school but one day she yells at him to stop talking to her and she regrets it later bc she likes him”

warnings: a lil speck of angst but mostly fluff hehe

we all know han jisung is a huge ball of energy

you on the other hand

polar opposite 

being friends with him was often a little tiring but you literally loved him anyways

hanging out in school was always fun!!

he kept you awake during your boring geography classes

the nations hero

but after school you really needed to be by yourself bc your social battery is d r a i n e d

jisung knowing, that you often just dwell all alone, had the bright idea of going to the overfilled park with you

you agreed first bc you know,,,hes kindA cute and some fresh air should be okay??

oh boy

oh b o y

you expected some chilling, maybe some talking here and there

but he brought a football, frisbee and badminton bats...

“lets go play something!!!!!!!!” he over excitedly yelled

you couldnt say no to his cute face

and he looked so excited :((

you, not really being a sportsperson embarrassed yourself more than just once 

violently kicking the air instead of the ball

same

there were so many people so you felt kinda meh :// but its jisung so you kinda just smiled thru the pain

thinking this was a once in a lifetime kinda situation and youd never have to go there ever again

next day in school he kept pointing out all the silly things you did like kicking the air or throwing the frisbee into the closest tree

“ha ha ha yeah im such a silly girl haha super funnY!!!”

at lunch he told everyone at the table as well which didnt sit well with you at all

jisung please stop embarrassing your crush 

you just stood up and left mumbling a quick “im not hungry”

he was obviously confused because you seemed to be in a good mood earlier

“excuse me for a sec”

and with that he went after you

he saw you sitting at the entrance of the school fumbling with your bracelet

but you didnt really want to see him bc ughhhhh!! you embarrassed yourself in front of your longtime crush and even tho jisung knows you better than anyone it still bothered you

“why did you leave us at lunch :((”

you just stared at your shoes

“hello silly noodle im talking to you!!!”

“earth to y/n?”

“listen jisung im just?? not in the mood right now,,,,leave me alone”

“we can go back to the park later and we can talk there? i dont want you to be upset”

“no i dont want to go to the park today in fact i dont want to go to any park with anyone ever again >:(”

y/n please calm your dramatic ass phew

“w-what?”

the bell rings and youve never left a spot that fast

jisung just stood there like a kicked puppy

your next class was bio how interesting 

you didnt share that class with him so you tried to distract yourself with that

but you kept seeing his saddend face and remembered your harsh words towards him which made you feel 10 times worse

he just wanted to spend some time with his crush friend

maybe you just reacted that way bc you DO want to spend quality time with him outside of school 

but you also have this huge crush on him which kind of gets in between you and your feelings

also you really cant be around people for longer than 8 hours

you decided to shoot him a quick text

meet me at the gate at 3

you almost immediatly received an answer from him

totally not bc he wanted to text you as well but he was too scared hed shoo you away so he just sat there staring at his phonescreen

okay ill be there

you needed to tell him about your feelings but thats weird and you!! dont even know what youre feeling!!

you were nervous as hell but little did you know he was sweating buckets too

he couldnt focus on his maths teacher at all, being called out multiple times for not paying attention

“jisung are you okay youre getting pale??” changbin asked, looking the younger up and down with a slightly concerned look on his face

“do you ever want to tell your crush youre kinda in love with them but theyre also your friend so you dont want to ruin what you have with them and they also kinda hate you but you dont know why an-”

“jisung dont forget to breathe buddy”

“mr han i wont tell you to shut up anymore. keep quiet or leave this class.”

hello mr teacher this is a serious matter let the boy breathe

after class he hesitated to leave but changbin encouraged him to just come clean to you

so he was a man on a mission

lets get this bread- han jisung, 2018

you already stood at the gate anxiously shifting from one foot to another 

he saw you waiting and picked up his pace a little

he breathed out a little “hi” to which you just nodded your head

“lets walk over to my place” you said, planning on talking things out on your way home

“okay listen im sorry i snapped at you earlier,,,i dont know what happened with me, you did nothing wrong and im just out there screaming at you, which you obviously dont deserve...i was a little moody because you kept bringing up all the embarrassing things i did at the park and i guess i just care a little too much about how you think about me and uh yeah....im sorry”

“youre my favourite person in the whole world how could i think any less of you for cutely kicking a ball in the wrong direction???” he asked while looking at you with big eyes

“listen y/n i dont know what this is going to do to our friendship but im losing serious sleep over this and i just need to get it off my chest and i totally undertstand if you think differently but i like you i really do...as in..more as just a friend i guess??”

y/n is sister shook

HAN JISUNG LIKES ME JUST AS MUCH AS I LIKE HIM IS THIS HEAVEN I SURE THINK SO- y/n

“y-you like me?”

“uhhhh yes???”

“o h”

cue the intense blushing

“well i like you too..”

you know when jisung is all giddy and he kinda bounces around with that huge grin on his face

yea

this but 10 times brighter

you arrived at your house and jisung hesitated but gently hugged you

“im glad you talked to me and im glad we sorted all of this out” he said in a soft voice

“me too, and im really sorry i snapped at you..my feelings just got the better of me”

“its okay” he said with a cute smile

it grew silent and you could practicaly hear the screws in jisungs head turning, trying to figure out if he should kiss you or not

he eventually just went “fuck it” and leaned in

you just stood there like y/n.exe stopped working

he leaned back and giggled a little because of your flustered state

“ill see you tomorrow at school?”

“bet” you smiled

“oh by the way your way of face planting the ground trying to play soccer made my day”

dude you just got a gf dont mess this up already

“han jisung sleep with one eye open”

uH idek what this is but i hope you like it???? ://

requests are open :)

((i hate the title just as much as you do okay im not creative sigh))

[teroknope]

Bro your writing is AMAZING!! I’d like to request if that’s cool with you? Maybe something like you’re a praetorian guard thats friends with kylo, but he doesn’t know you’re a guard (bc of the whole red theme/masks). Then in the fight scene after snoke dies Rey is fighting you & somehow ur helmet comes off and Rey is about to kill u but kylo saves you & when Rey refuses his offer to rule w him, maybe you take it instead bc u guys have lil crushes on each other?? idk man just a thought.:)

A/N : Thank you for your comment! It really means a lot to hear feedback like this, it’s really inspiring me to keep writing 〔´∇｀〕

I…really don’t know where this came from I was meant to work today but I’ve caught a cold or something; so I’ve been resting up today (By that I mean I’ve watched a SHIT ton of Adam Driver films lol). I have spent part of the day writing this. I hope you enjoy it anon!  I am sorry if it’s not up to the usual standard as I said I am a bit ill! ty for your request

Warnings: TLJ Spoilers! Don’t read if you don’t want to be spoiled for The last Jedi.

W.C: 3,500 

The honour of being a praetorian guard was reserved for the most dedicated and elite warriors; you considered it a privilege to be included in this elite group. Dedicating your entire being to the service of Supreme Leader Snoke. It was protocol to be trained in numerous martial art, perhaps the most influential being Akane, in which the imperial royal guard was trained in during the reign of The Emperor.

When you were not on duty, you were either resting or training. You took your training seriously, it was a great stress relief too. You were not sure when you would get the opportunity to train, so when you did you jumped at the chance.

This lead to a walk in with Kylo Ren himself. Ren caught you training in the room that is usually empty at that time of the day. The training room doors opened swiftly, you turned to face the open door. Your face red and your body sweaty, although you did not expect judgement as it is a training room; you are supposed to be sweaty.

“Commander Ren,” You acknowledged his presence, performing the standard First Officer Salute. You knew he was nothing like The Supreme Leader; he was better.

You knew Kylo could defeat The Supreme Leader in a combat of physical strength in mere seconds, but it was The Supreme Leaders mental ability, in particular, his strength in the force, which kept him alive. It was your responsibility to be his physical strength, your duty and your honour.

“At this hour, I normally train in this room,” He observed, his voice monotone through his helmet.

You did not know what to say, “Apologies commander, I can leave if needed”

“I can offer an alternative” He pondered “Spar with me”

You were not in a position to refuse; nor that you wanted to either.

“Yes, Commander Ren” You could not deny you were ecstatic to train with a man who wielded a lightsaber. You saw it as excellent practice, that was it, right? Nothing more.

There were numerous weapons available, you hesitated before you took the spear. Would he guess you were part of the praetorian guard? No, surely not from your choice of picking a spear.

“Let’s begin” He flicked on his erratic saber, the noise surrounding the room.

You were watching him in two ways; firstly, on the skill in which he swung his saber, as well so you could effectively block and parry his attacks. Secondly, which you would not admit to anyone, was you ogling his toned arms, well they were more than toned. Although you had not yet seen his face, you could not help finding yourself attracted to him physically

Likewise, Kylo watched you intently; he saw the strength in your physical form. You were not what he would consider a stereotypical officer to be; what stuck out for him was your individual mind. You were dedicated to The First Order but separated at the same time.

The sparring session ended when Ren knocked the blade out of your grip, it flew to the floor with an almighty thud. You were stunned, it had to be a long time since you were bested in battle.

You were breathing was short and fast, your body sweaty and warm. Ren noticed how the heat had risen to your cheeks; turning them a soft pink. He caught himself staring at you; he pulled away.

“Thank you, Commander Ren, for the opportunity” You saluted him.

“You did well; I’ll see to it that we spar again”.

That was the first time you spared with Kylo Ren and it seemed like so long. Since the discovery and pursuit of the BB8 unit you had been placed at Snoke’s side twenty-four seven, you considered yourself blessed if you got a moment to rest.

The efforts were unsuccessful, and Kylo Ren was at the front of the scrutiny of Emperor Snoke.

“Take off that ridiculous thing off” Snoke whispered, urgently and seriously.

You began to hate how he spoke to Ren; but more so why had you come to idealise a man you don’t really know or understand. But you wanted to, so much.

Praetorian guards were conditioned to react to any unspurred movement in the vicinity of The Supreme Leader. You watched the scene unfold; he had recently returned from his fight with the other force user. Being at the side of Snoke you heard the untold rage, anger and disappointment that he felt.

When Ren adamantly removed his helmet; the Ren you saw was not like the man you use to know. He looked so defeated, his dark hair fell in front of his pale face. You noticed how his right eye was a dark red, bruised and sore. Not to mention the new edition of the sharp scar falling across his eye; although the thin black bandaged covered the majority of it. You were observing Ren as Snoke continued his verbal abuse, your ears clocking back to the current moment when Snoke roared;

“… he split your spirit to the bone. You were unbalanced, bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber, you failed!”

Kylo reacted, as any individual would. He began to hastily rose to his feet but Snoke was always one step ahead, he released a wave of force lightning which sent Ren smacking the cold ground.

You empathized with his pain immensely; the crimson armour you wore would send sharp electric currents throughout the panels. A necessity to deflect blasters and lightsaber.

The conditioned bodies of the guards reacted the moment Ren rose to his feet, yourself included. You all shifted to a battle stance; your decorated spear pointing towards Ren, the man you admired so much. The base of the spear was the same red as your armour but was decorated with a beautiful silver blade, no doubt made from the finest silver in the galaxy.

The moment Snoke returned to this throne you relaxed, spinning the spear to stand on the ground; the tip peering over your shoulder

The man you saw was not the Kylo you had come to know; although he was unaware that you knew him. He left the room and entered the elevator, you could only imagine what was whizzing through his mind.

Eventually, you were allowed to rest, you returned to your quarters. Shedding off the heavy armour. You stepped into the hot shower, letting the water wash away the intense situation that occurred today. Your mind could not help sympathising with Ren; you found yourself becoming nostalgic on the times you use to spar with him.

“Thank you for the opportunity once again, Commander” You hated being formal, but it was necessary. A few hours before Ren had left a message for you on your transceiver, a request to spar with him again. 

You would not deny yourself the opportunity; you were excited about the experience. The moment you read the message your world brightened ever so sightly.

You and Ren were in the same training room as before, although this time you had not chosen your weapon. You glanced over the display of various tools and devices.

perhaps something different this time? You considered.

“No, the same weapon as last time” He spoke, ah, you had forgotten how to force users can sense the smallest detail of your mind. 

“Yes, Commander” You affirmed, grasping the spear. While you were checking it over, you heard whirs and clicks that you did not recognise. Followed by a thud. You turned your head and for the first time saw the commander without his helmet.

You understood it was more of a statement rather than a need to hide anything he was ashamed of; you thought how you liked his physical features. Especially his hair, you then reminded your thoughts to be quiet.

He already had heard them of course, but he did not tell you that.

You both took the position, standing opposite each other.

“Let’s begin” He unsheathed his saber, and twirled it at the same time.

The training was far more intense than the one before, you had both gotten accustomed to your fighting style. Making it more challenging. As expected Kylo once again bested you in battle, throwing you to the floor, the spear dancing on the floor as it flew from your hand.

He held his gloved hand out to you, you took it gripping it tightly. It was so much…larger than your own. 

“Thank you again, Commander” you wheezed out, trying to look respectable.

You left the shower, finally relaxed and able to sleep for the night. You hoped Kylo Ren also had ease sleeping that night, you imagined he found it difficult to sleep most nights, especially with the responsibility he carried. What followed the next day would continue to prove you wrong.

The reflection of a hissing blue blade bounced off your armour, your mind and body coming to attention the moment it ignited. You watched as it pierced through The Supreme Leader. You stopped breathing for a short second; you faced Snoke and watch the blade be pulled from him, cutting him in half.

Instantaneously you equipped your spear; yourself and the other guards began your assault on the girl and Ren. You could not show resilience, you could not show you did not want to kill the person you admired the most. But you had a duty above all.

Fate had landed you in the position to fight the girl, wielding the blade that killed Snoke. He was fast, although slightly inexperienced but the rage made up for this. The rage seethed through her eyes as her blade hit your spear. You focus was on her, but you observed from the corner of your vision how your fellow guards fell one by one.

This is it you gravely thought. The end of your life was near.

The girl scraped the saber against the floor, the hot sparks bouncing off your armour. The blade swung close to your feet, you instinctually stepped back. Unfortunately not far enough.

As she pulled the blue saber up it ripped through the front of your crimson helmet. Scraping away at the armour, somehow missing the right side of your face.  It obliterated the front of the helmet; leaving a large gaping chunk. Rendering it useless. Nevertheless, you continued to fight back.

Kylo watched as Rey glided through the helmet like it was nothing; the more you moved the more the masked chipped away. 

Eventually, the right side of your face was exposed

It’s her. The thoughts whizzed through Ren’s mind. The one I sparred with.

The right of the helmet continuously chipped off, you got frustrated. Ripping off the rest of your helmet. You could still feel the heat of the saber lingering on the broken armour.

This was when the girl used the moment to her advantage.

You were no stranger to being hit by the force, in the early days of your training you were frequently conditioned to withstand such an intense power. She held out her hand in front of you and your body came to a sudden halt. You knew what was coming.

She forcefully pushed you, sending you flying into the wall very high from the floor; your back violently crashed into it. You felt your armour crack, which spread throughout your chest area. 

Miraculously the armour still proved useful as you fell to the floor with a depressing thud, your spear falling arm length away from you. if it was not for your Armor you would not have survived the fall; although the pain was indescribable. 

Your eyes were begging to close, but you force them open. The impact had flown through your entire being, affecting you in multiple ways. You thought this would be it; she would come to finish you off. You imagined her shoving the lightsaber through your chest, this is how you would die. 

By the grace of the gods, it seemed the girl had forgotten you once you were out of her immediate proximity and focused on your fellow guards. One was holding Ren in a choke, you could see him struggling

She threw her saber to Ren, who in one click of a switch put it through the head of the last guard. 

That’s it, you was the last one.

The girl then turned to you. It appears she would not show you mercy after all, anyway why would she? You served the most powerful and most destructive being in the galaxy; there would be consequences.

Your arm weakly stretched out and gripped your broken spear; although it was not in its prime it was still sharp. A last-minute defence.

Her eyes bolted to you, she saw you reach out and grip your weapon. You could feel her march over to you, her footsteps heavy on the metal floor. Although your senses were blurry, you could tell at the velocity in which she was coming to finish the job.

“Rey” That deep voice, which you had come to admire called out. She ignored it and continued powering towards your defenceless body.

“There is no life left in that one” Your heart sank.

“leave her to die”. Your heart sank even more.

You were not sure if it was due to the intense physical pain that she caused or the intense emotional pain that he had just inflicted. But tears begin to sting your eyes, dripping down your bloody face.

Had Kylo Ren betrayed The First Order? Was he to return from where he came? Anger and confusion surged through your veins, Ren could sense this. Rey thought he was staring at her, but he was staring through her. At you.

Trust me, stay still, do not move. His voice reverberated through your mind.

Calmness washed throughout your body, although this was not the best decision in this moment in time as you felt your body beginning to slip in and out of consciousness. Resulting in you hearing parts of their conversation.

“It’s time to let old things die…We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy”

So, he had not betrayed The First Order; not entirely.

“Please, don’t go this way” She begged

‘Your nothing, but not to me” Oh, did he care for her? It seemed like she did

“Join Me” Ah, another stab in the chest.

“Please” He was pleading; you sort of hoped she took his decision. You could imagine the consequences if she did not.

You regained a clearer consciousness when you felt a strange force hitting your body. You forced your sore eyes open; observing Ren and the girl pushing themselves away from one another. The lightsaber hanging in the middle. Momentarily a bright light surrounded the room, both of them flying in opposite directions. The sheer force of the blast rolled you over, knocking you out once again.

By the time you awoke the throne room was somehow worse than before, more specs of fire falling from the ceiling. You looked around the room.

The girl was gone. Perhaps she had offered you mercy or had more important matters to see to. Either way, you were relieved, and very lucky.

Wait, Kylo. His name shot through your mind like a speeder, your eyes desperately searching for him. You could not mistake his broad frame, collapsed on the metal floor, his back facing you. You could not tell if he was breathing, you still had a duty, you had to get closer to him.

You slowly rose to your feet by leaned up onto your knees, continuing onto standing on your right foot and then you left. Your body ached like no pain you had ever known.

You limped over to Kylo; your weight bearing down on your injured left leg. You held onto your side in which the girl cut you, while it was not a deep cut it hurt badly. You could feel your muscles begging for rest. Eventually, after what seemed like far too long you reach Kylo’s body. Your training kicked in; begrudgingly you knelt down next to him. Letting out a groan of pain as you moved next to him,

“Commander Ren,” you called to him as loud as you could, which was actually the sound of whispering.

You hastily removed the armour from your right hand, Flexing your fingers. The soothing air hitting the bloody skin. You placed two fingers on Ren’s neck, feeling for a pulse.

It was there, faint, but there. You sighed. Thank the heavens.

Commander Hux entered the room, his face paler and pastier than usual. The destruction was beyond what he had imagined. He wearily walked over to The Supreme Leader’s split body; he watched The Supreme Leader’s lower half fall to the floor. The thud reverberating throughout the shattered room.

You had not glanced at his corpse once. You did not desire that image burned into your mind for the rest of your days. You were unaware of Hux gazing at you and Ren, you were too focused on making sure The Commander was alive; as a consequence, you were oblivious to Hux maliciously pulling out his pistol.

Kylo awoke with a gasp, his head facing the floor. You instinctively placed your hand on his shoulder, he gazed at your bloody face. 

“Your alive” He gently spoke. Kylo stared at you; he noticed how your bottom lip had a large cut in which the blood around it had dried up. Your eyes bloodshot, your face once perfectly clean was covered with small nicks, bruises and blood. He only imagined how bruised your body would have looked. Ren could tell you were in agony, but admiring you for persevering

Hux placed the pistol back into its holster, sneakily pulling his back coat over it.

“What” Hux was pissed, you had only known General Hux around The Supreme Leader, like a doting child. You had never heard such anger in this voice although you imagined him to expressing it frequently. “Happened”.

“The girl murdered Snoke” He was lying through his teeth, it was necessary for his survival.

“General” You stood hastily, the pain shooting through your body. Hux could tell you were in great pain, he did not care.

“I can corroborate with Commander Ren, what he speaks is the truth”.  You saw Hux’s pale eyes gaze you up and down; no doubt judging you for how defeated you had looked. You would have no motive to lie, you were a guard and nothing more. You saw Hux’s eye observe you with concern. Kylo hastily stood up,

“What happened?” He sturdily asked Hux.

“She took Snoke’s escape craft” Hux spoke, grinding his teeth in anger.

“I know where she is going…get all of our forces down to that Resistance base, let’s finish this” He asserted his authority, without a shadow of a doubt.

“Finish this?” You instantly recognised the threatening tone of Hux’s voice. “who do you think you’re talking to?”

Your aching body reacted instinctively, taking a defensive stance to the side of Ren. Albeit you would be useless without a weapon and not to mention how beaten up your body was. It hurt to lift your limbs so it would be impossible to perform hand-to-hand combat. He did not need you to defend him, but it was more of a symbolic signifier to general Hux. One which Kylo did take notice of.

—-

After Ren had force strangled Hux and assumed his position as The Supreme Leader you hastily retreated to your chambers, you knew the fight was not over. But you were no use to anyone in this physical condition. You tore off the remains of your crimson Armor, countless panels laying on your once clean floor.

There was no time to take a shower regrettably as you would begin the assault on the rebel base, in which Ren asserted that you would accompany him.

The sound of the door sliding open brought you to attention, you walked out of your private bedroom freshly changed into your First Order uniform; he was standing there, with troopers behind him.

“Leave us,” He commanded the pair, who took watch outside of your chambers.

There was a pause for a short second “I never suspected you were a praetorian guard” he inquired.

“You never asked” You smirked at him, “Besides, I felt best if I kept my identity as a praetorian guard a secret so it would not impact my duties” You muttered, actively lying through your teeth. Since you had met Kylo your entire stance on being a guard had changed, watching Snoke torture him made your blood boil.

“I am still bound by my duty. If you would have me, I want to serve you. Although I feel that was obvious by my actions earlier, I feel it had…value if I say it to you directly” You warmly smiled at him.

He took a step closer to you, your heart leapt for a second.

Ren’s eyes never left yours, moments ago he was betrayed by the one person he believed would join him. Yet here you were, someone who had always been there, diligent, loyal and strong. It made his heart slightly flutter.

“So, you will join me?” He repeated himself, he was so close to you that the personal space was almost none existent.

“You never had to ask, I am always at your side Supreme Leader Ren.”