#maybe some of y'all has a thought youd like to share

[raksh-writes]

I've been thinking about making a Dreamwidth account. Its more personal and the posts would be in one place, all chronological, neatly together and all that, feels like it would be easier to read through them and find certain things than here. Also commenting on them and having conversations there is much easier and clearer, so maybe I could like "repost" my writing/fandom/fanfic posts there so everyone who'd like to have a chat could find the post easier and chat in comments.

Ive also been thinking about a discord server, for a looong time now, but Im not sure how many peeps would even want to get in one. It prob would need to be broader than Voiles. Maybe for more rarepairs?? or just for writers to talk their writing and interact with each other and readers more easily?? Id just like it to be an open space for chats to everyone, y'know?

I realize tumblr is not actually that good for conversations and keeping in touch and all, ao3cotd made quite a few posts on this and it got me thinking about all this even more.

Its just that with my wrists as they are I wouldnt be able to be the single driving force behind a discord server for example, even tho Id looove to chat A Lot. But if lovely peeps joined Id be there all the time, hah, or rather at least Id check in a lot ^^

I just miss connecting with people, tbh, having community where you can go chat fandom or other things, in an open space and all, but also ngl Im thinking about DW also cause I feel like I could make some posts there that Im kinda wary of making here, lmao. Like sometimes Id like to say I dont enjoy this or this ship and chat about it, but like chill and all, no hard feelings or heated debates, but Im Sure someone would come in and make it an argument/fight here on tumblr ;/ And I dont wanna hurt anyone's feelings too. Im very much of the ship and let ship and all, so personally I just block the ship tags of the ones Im not into ;p Anyway Im derailing the post here and its not about that xdd

So, I dunno, making that dreamwidth account is tempting, but seeing as its a site with no app that I know of, and posting there might not be as easy as here - tho I could just repost, hmmm. It could be a nice space still, kinda separate from tumblr, but also on pretty much the same topics, just easier to have conversations and chats on certain topics/posts. And a discord, well, Id love to, but I dunno...

What do y'all think? Im very Very curious about other opinions on this, any thoughts? ^^

[savnofilter]

plzz, grow up. youre always complaining about how hard you hav it when there are so much worse that could happening. starvation, illiteracy, bullying, physical abuse, etc. and youre sad bcuz you feel insecure? as a person, youre actually quite mean. people like you make me sick.

You know, if you really had your money at your words you would’ve done this off Anonymous but you’re clearly a pussy ass bitch to do so. Since you think I’m a bitch or an asshole or an asswipe (whichever you’d like to prefer), I just wanted to water your crops and respond to you in that manner. You’re welcome. I will write you an essay since you’re just an angry fan who wants attention.

1. There’s a reason why I haven’t properly stated my reasons for being like I am the way I am, but since you want to be all up in my coochie hairs, this is my business.

- losses in the family.

- stresses of school.

- responsibilities i have to take care of because I can’t just drop out because i “feel insecure”.

- wanting to reach out but my feelings and thoughts are always twisted because I am shit at words/or seen as stupid reasons to be upset.

- legit being called a rape apologist that triggered me from past experiences, sent my already deteriorating mental health into shit hole.

- being body shamed at a place that felt second home at.

- wanting to do my favourite hobby on earth but not being able to do it because I have no energy for it/not wanting to leave my followers hanging who are excited for things and not post at all (which I’ve been doing but I sincerely apologize).

2. What the fuck makes you think I have never struggled before? I am genuinely curious. Because I can write? Because I try to be nice to people on my blog? Because until now I don’t hide that yeah, I’m not in the best place? You’re such an asshole for even trying to invalidate my feelings and its happened way too many times in my life to let someone like you even attempt to do it. Maybe you’re attacking me because I am young. Maybe you’re attacking me because you need to blow off some steam. 

I legit don’t know what your reason is, but YOU need to grow up LMAO like your ass in ANONYMOUS right now kik like whaaaaaat. My cock isn’t yours so hop off it okay? Never called you my slut but you all up in my pussy boy.

3. Also to further my point in bullet one, why is it that I can’t feel insecure? It’s not like I wake up with a mental breakdown not feeling myself on purpose. It’s not like I wake up and go “okay what can I be depressed about today” – because quite frankly if I had the choice guess what? I wouldn’t choose it lmao. 

Just like many artists like Billie Eilish, what’s wrong with admitting that you aren’t okay? Like how is that immature? The first step to the healing process is to know the issue, second step is finding out the root of the problem. Since I know myself, me saying that is basically a forewarning like “my emotions are fucked up at the moment, so I might be an asshole because what the fuck are feelings?”.

And you know what? When you’re often a second choice, or someone shows absolute affection towards you and makes it seem you’re the only one then they do it to everyone else then yeah it does get to you. But from what I’ve read, you’re too much of a pretentious bitch to have ever experienced that and people probably bend to everything you say and that is why you don’t like me. I don’t act the way you want me to. And you were probably the one all up in my inbox asking me age like a creepy bitch like that is none of your flip flacking fucking business (apologies if the anon who asked that isn’t, its weird. dont do it lol).

4. Yeah I make you sick? I’m mean? Since you have not provided any statements nor receipts for me too refute, yeah everyone can be a bitch. I mean just look at you sugar. Anyways, I will be showing the pros and cons of talking to me, so you know, people like you,,, don’t,,,,, get,,,,,, sick,,,,,,,,

pros:

I am nice - unlike popular belief or your opinion and no, not to be cliche. yeah sometimes when i talk its like “… why the fuck would you say that?” because sometimes I just don’t know. So it’s better to tell someone then I’m sitting here like

after it hits the fan.

I am very supportive - bro, you having a hard time? Hold up where is the remaining of my happy energy to give to you! You need a heart meme? Writing piece? Like I got you. Feel like your stuff isn’t worth it? You don’t feel worth it? I got you. Like no cap.

Loyal - you give me the same energy, I vibe it back to you love. That’s all. You shower me in love, I shower you in love. You never forget me or always talk to me, I do the same. It’s how you do it babe.

cons:

there’s a reason why my blog name is “savnofilter” - and imma explain it good. Well here’s a backstory ain’t nobody asked for so here it is. 

So in 7th grade, moved to my new town I live in – shit at first kinda alright now. We had this assignment in our poetry unit, and that was to get the class divided and have a rap battle and whoever won I don’t fucking know got extra credit or some shit (my brain is old at this point, can’t remember shit lol). So in this assignment, we had to make, a rapper name. And I wanted it to be cringey (yes, that was the vocabulary used-). I had to think long and hard because mane I ain’t ever thought of shit like that until my friend was like, “hey, why don’t you go with savage because you say wild things and don’t care” and I was like,,,,, oh shit mane, U RIGHT. Then I was like, that isn’t enough. I need more, more flare. So I dozed off then sat up like “oKAY A CONCEPT THO, HOW ABOUT NO FILTER?! SAvage… No Filter? Saying it out loud sounds like absolute rubbish.” So I had to think again, what name clicks? 

I had already locked in that I have no filter because I don’t give a fuck, so whats next?Sav[redacted]nofilter (blurred because you’d be able to find me somewhere NOT related to writing LMAO). So yeah, because I’m a savage. I genuinely do not care what I am saying. And no, not in a way that I’m saying something insensitive and going “its mah trademark!” its because I don’t care. I’m a savage with no filter.  

If you piss me off or ignore what I’ve said or belittled me – whatever I will not hold back! period! - I dont have much explaining for that but there it is. take it how you will. 

I am piss poor shit at words - I know plenty of you will read this and be like “but u write? 👁️👄👁️”. So you guys know those people who need like a puppet to speak properly, or sing so they don’t stutter? That’s basically me. If it’s not an actual work or anything I can’t comprehendddddd. Then again I’ve learned to just hold on my feelings since I use to be a crybaby and such. I just horde my feelings until they get worse, like now. I’ve now just realized this so I’ll be talking with my therapist into easing me into sharing how I feel. Which furthers my next point -

I have constipated feelings - so, you can say, that my feelings a shit (y'all saw what I did there LMAOOOOO).

I vibe with how you vibe with me - pro if you do it right, con if you do it wrong. My mum has always said that I tap into peoples energies too much, but its because I like helping people, I like helping people feel secure and everything is alright but it backfires when someone isn’t giving me the same energy.

At this point, I’m not mad anymore. I know who wrote this anyways by the end of this so I apologize for my language earlier ;;. If you truly wanted to speak with me, I would’ve appreciated it lol. I’m just hurt you chose to do it in such a destructive manner, even including someone else in it as well. 

oh oh!! yes, i get vague visions of who be all up in my inbox so theres that. thisll be last time i take anyone serious on anon, so future anons you can cuss em out if youd like lol.