#but still Ive been thinking alot about this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

superbellsubways · 2 months

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wanting to draw fanart for games i like but not wanting to gain attention from the communities only bc thats what they'll expect from me afterwards.. sighs loud

#i put as little tags as possible for a reason lala #anyways ive been thinking about undertale and deltarune alot lately 🧍.. Points at caption #and then i feel bad when i stop drawing a thing for a while cuz it makes it seem like i dont care about it anymore #like NO. I STILL LOVE THIS THING ALOT I PROMISE 😭 my audhd ass just cant focus on one thing at a time #i just hope alot of the people that still interact with me actually like me 😭 idk

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du-hjarta-skulblaka · 1 month

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It's never going to happen bc I don't have the skill or the determination or the simple understanding to actually do it but lately I've been thinking about potential video essays on...I'm not even sure. Autistic joy? Trans joy? The sheer unique joy of being me and of being a human who thinks and feels and how that's different but the same as so many other people. Like I'll legit start plotting out scripts in my head for how I would explain it to people (which I do alot for special interests and such but rarely to explain Myself) and a big part of me would love to just. Talk. About how it feels to be Me. But I'm also very unlikely to do that lol

#mentioned before but im super vibing with The Leftist Cooks rn #and part of why is how genuine they are and how much of themselves they share #and i would love to just...talk. about how and why i think and feel #but im doubtful theres a viewership for that and i wouldnt know where to begin #i do know some Film People partly through my sister helping found a communist socialist film collective when i wasnt looking???#shes also so fucking cool holy shit #but. idk. something i like the idea of but am very unlikely to actually do bc any result would be so rambling and incoherent #and i could never stand with other video essayists bc i dont have it in me to read and cite papers and sources #but...theres something there. something in the joy.#ive been gravitating towards peiple who talk about the joy in their marginalised experiene #bc it really speaks to me and i think its something we need more of #its one thing to present arguments against abelism or transphoboa or racism of what have you bevause its often so easily done #but there still isnt alot of well known people talking about the happyness and fulfilment they feel directly through being Different

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mukuberry · 11 months

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It kinda irks me when i see ppl talking about guiltying prisoners because it'll "have a better impact on them" or will "help them more than an inno vote" because we've got 4 prisoners already guiltied who haven't been benefited at all. Fuuta is probably our best, as she no longer thinks she was right for the murder, but she's also now permanently disabled and probably getting indoctrinated into a cult. Even ignoring Kotoko's attacks, they're still being tortured psychologically. They're hallucinating, paranoid and suicidal. How could subjecting someone to that hell be any better for them than forgiving them

#chernikocore #i get why ppl thought this trial 1. but why are we still thinking like this please look at our already guiltied prisoners #not just about kazui ive seen ppl say this about yuno ALOT #the only guilty vote ive agreed with so far is haruka because of the restraints TT but even that wouldn't have been necessary if not for muu #idk i dont wanna come off as rude but. how are ppl thinking this about kazui...#''this man wasnt affected by an inno vote because he hates himself too much. maybe if we make him hallucinate voices blaming him for his #wifes suicide and affirming the idea he has that he should have kept lying‚ he'll feel better :)''#orz

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fishybehavior · 7 months

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Hey I know a lot of people here have cats so can I ask y'all a question??

Is it recommended to get two cats? I work 40 hour weeks but the rest of the time i am home.

I'm hearing a lot of opinions on this. I'm moving to a new place a two bedroom place with a roommate. I have room for a pet but idk if I should get two. So I just wanted to ask for anyone's opinion and experience if anyone wants to share

#also this would be the first cat id ever have and im adopting an adult #im still researching and stuff and at least 2 months away from adopting but ive been thinking alot about this and want to know what people #think #evan has a life #asking for advice #cats #cat advice

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robocops-a-christ-allegory · 26 days

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Official update for everyone since I know I was posting alot about how Im gonna like run away to work at a cannery in Alaska and shit. Been holding off on posting about it because I didnt wanna JINX IT but its been like 2 weeks since signing the lease and putting down first months rent so official announcement I am moving to another city on July 1st with my brother. Its All Ok

#I was very on edge about it but am now accepting its ok and we definitely have the place.#The queer housing place also still hasnt called me back but its ok now obviously. I am pretty angry about it but I guess Ive also been not #calling them for three months. Anyway.#I am happy I think the situation turned out well but I was like spiraling for 6 months and do have to wait another month still so #Im not expressing alot of joy #Also I am living with my brother again but the place is big and in a city Ive been wanting to move to so its ok.#If this didnt work out Antarctica was going to become the answer.

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elvenking42 · 6 months

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#when i was in high school i played a party game with some of my classmates at a get-together where you had to rank people on questions #yearbook style awards really. whos the most handsome. who's the most annoying etc etc #i flew under everyone's radar except for the question who do you think will die a widow #i dont know. i think about that alot. because i was still so unsure of myself and my relationship to gender and sexuality #it sort of felt like everyone in the room pointed a finger at me and labled me UNLOVABLE #and sure. the events of a house party in 2017 shouldn't still effect my day to day life but its sort of hard to ignore that feeling #it wasn't an especially kind thing to leave me with when i graduated and went off to college #i never tried dating in college. i think that unlovable label sort of hung over my head for my entire formal education #i had friends who did date during college. with varying degrees of success. and im really happy for them #but i couldn't bring myself to try and put myself out there. i didnt feel like i was a suitable enough person to even attempt it #idk. then covid hit and i jjst dont enjoy meeting new people #and now im 24. my little sister has more dating experience under her belt and I'm really starting to love up to that dying as a widow omen #whatever. i dont wanna be annoying and sad on everyones feeds I know thats bad manners #but i dont talk about it and ive been thinking about it alot #ill delete this later or something. if i remember to #personal

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redrobin-detective · 2 years

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ill be honest the first time i read The Long Way Around (which must have been in 2018 !) and for a while after i simply was not aware it was a series, even after i started following you? when you posted rise up i remember being very surprised and excited "oh there's MORE?" so i really have zero expectations lol

i absolutely adore it and it's a very wonderful series, thank you (and i am also very glad you are a fan of other things i am a fan of, so i can just hop fandoms and continue enjoying your fic)

Ahhhh you're gonna make me scream because I also am in love with your stories. I've adored them for years and now have been greedily reacquainting myself with all the excellent BNHA stories I've loved over the years. Your 30 minute fics still haunt me and are Astounding.

When I first wrote TLWA, the seeds of the hypothetical future were there but didn't really cement until I finished the story. Once done, I came up with what eventually became Rise Up and the finale story. I've had that finale story outlined down to the detail for years. It's always bothered me, having that ending live only in my head, to be incomplete. That coupled with a bit of a falling out with BNHA made it hard to get momentum going. I decided a few weeks ago to really make an honest effort at wrapping things up.

I decided to bridge the gap, to dip my feet back into the world, by writing a sort of set-up/in between piece that addresses things I've wanted to talk about but never had the space to. It's actually going well! I'm finally starting to get into the groove and have about 7000 words so far. My optimistic prediction is Feb/March but oh the more I write this fic the more I'm raring to go the finale fic. With it all plotted, I hope that comes out fairly quickly like TLWA/RU did.

This whole verse is still very important to me, Rise up remains one of my favorite fics I've written and I get teary eyed every time I reread it. I'm so genuinely excited to move forward with this, its like coming full circle even if I took the long way around.

#fic: the long way around #the road not taken #sorry that ended up being alot but as I shift into Fic Mode it soon becomes the only thing I think of #Ive been very much 'head empty fic thoughts only' the past few days as i shift into Maximum Overdrive #this one I didnt have planned out only Vibes which is why it took a bit to get going #but now that I have Story to go with Vibes (completely new Vibes threw the old ones out to my utter surprise!)#its going quicker #God Im still talking #I'm happy to talk about it More if anyone is ever interested #somehow I will resist the urge for spoilers but oh how I love to tease

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brosif40 · 9 months

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The urge to steal Louie Pikmins name

#idk it just sounds right #also bc ive been called foowie before GSJDHD it sounds similar so thats probably why #i always be doin this with some blorbos #but this one speaks to me #gotta think about it more..#brosif rambles #im still thinkin abt it/its pronouns too so im thinking alot abt identity stuff..

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kulemii · 1 year

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i never really realized until recently that i could write smut for myself in the 1st pov and not go to jail. i am a free woman

#for now #i havent quite realized the potential of my true power yet #but really writing explicitly FOR MYSELF has been great exercise #the more i do it the more it feels like im warming myself up to care to write for others again #i know that sounded harsh but that's not how i meant it #its just been a long time since ive written for the sake of no one but myself seeing it #like yeah its going online still but it's like... a quiet place where i dont expect anyone to find it #and if they do find it oh well and they might be too put off by it being 1st pov that they dont even read it #so i still win #i feel really free with this somehow idk how to explain it #i've also been talking to other people about their writing a lot lately and that's been good exercise too i think #with me being out of work ive also had time to schedule each day to work on my bigger projects as well and i know that helps too #writers block is coming and going but 1st pov exercises have certainly done alot for my motivation #hell I've talked alot here i should shut up now

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loverboybitch · 2 years

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getting really attached to the idea of living in my little apartment forever actually.//.

#imjustsittinghere #i know iv complained about this apartment alot but i think i could make it really nice if i tried #been thinking about moving a bunch n stuff cause i thought my roomie was moving out in the summer but apparently not #was also just playing around with the idea that if he does move out id just rent the whole thing for myself if i get my promotion #n that still sounds like a really fun n cool idea #literally 1 bedrooms in the city are like 2000$ anyway and we pay 1900 here so like.. i could have two bedrooms lol #keep mine as a bedroom as is cause its cozy n nice in here #turn my roommates room into a nice living room . like i already know how id lay it out #turn the space we currently have as a lil living room/my sewing space into an actual just nice little workspace maybe #and i was flipping through my zines just now and i have one from billie about making a darkroom and now im thinking how easy it would #be to turn our weird little grotto thing into a really nice lil darkroom for developing film.......#wouldnt that be sick.. i know so many people who shoot film i could develop and do prints for people #like yeah that little grotto flooded literally yesterday cause of a storm but i think i could improve upon the space alot #of course cant really move on this cause my roommate is presumably still gonna be living here for a while (two years most likely)#but smthn to think about. in the meantime im working on getting a new couch for our tiny living room so its at least a nice spot #i was rearranging some stuff the other night n i think im gonna add some shelves n make it alot cozier of a space #or maybe ill end up moving who knows!#anyway interview for my promotion on monday wish me luck my loves <3

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crystalkitty1220 · 1 year

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mustard.

What am I Iooking at here

#i was just at the worst junior prom in my life #which isn't saying alot because ive only been to two junior proms #but god this one was so much worse than the one i was at the other night #yknow those parts of songs everyone sings along to? like how in sweet caroline it goes ''BUM BUM BUM''?#the dj would cut out the songs right at that moment. i think he was expecting people to sing along? but it just went #''SWEET CAROLINE'' *dead silence* *song continues*#i knew nobody. almost everyone my 'date' knew hated his guts.#there was nowhere away from the music. it was only one area (a courtyard) with no other rooms and barely any seats. i hate loud noises.#everyone looked so bored or so resentful. everyone was either wearing a funeral suit or the shortest dress i'd ever seen #I was uncomfortable with the slit in my dress but then I saw how the longest one anyone else had only went to their knees?#i mean i still wish i wore my other outfit and my jacket but at least i was somehow the most covered.#there were fireworks. i hate loud noises.#me and my friend both agreed that the junior proms would be so much better if we just went to the first one and skipped the second.#actually it wasn't all bad. there was a fountain that was was actually just a fancy kiddie pool with candles floating in it.#peak of the night right there.#also my hand started feeling better so that's good as well.#and at one point afterwords my mom said ''i wouldn't be surprised if you were slightly on the autism spectrum''#????????? slightly??????????? also how did she not already know? literally everyone else knows already. and she's literally my mother.#and i ended up ranting to her about my health anxiety #and then i started ranting about other anxiety and how i'm the therapist friend of a lot of people #and that led to how i'm constantly in a panic that something horrible is happening to my friends and i can't help them #and that led to Girlfriend List Dude who would repeatedly pretend that something horrible would happen to him #and when he messaged back ten minutes later ''that's exactly how i wanted you to react. i was testing to see if you're really my friend''#and i would never think 'causing me to cry and panic as a test is a pretty dick move' but nowadays it's all i think about #very off-topic now. gonna stop typing.#sorry you got all these tags in response to mustard. i don't have a therapist and havent seen a real doctor since maybe sixth grade

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pirateborn-a · 2 years

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thinks ab love as strength thinks about love as strength and how roger loves Life and his friends So so much and how it drives him and how he truly believes in love without question and how that in turn inspires the same kind of devotion and---

#tbd.#[ ooc ] ✧〖 bid farewell to weaver’s town 〗#[ i am So sorry because i literally never shut up about this fdsljksdf #[ but also its true #[ life is about love!!!!! the love you find in the small things and big things and in friends and loved ones and just #[ most of my recent muses have just. had roots in Love as a concept and i think ab it alot #[ roger being an embodiment of love as strength brooks love for life his crews and laboon #[ garp loving So much but not knowing how to deal with it and his love being at conflict with his duty #[ other muses as well who i. rly need to revive blogs of fdshkl #[ funni sc.p/lm.k/ds.t/g.f momence....#[ but just. shakes blorbos n inflicts them with loving life so much despite it having burned them or despite the bad because #[ love is so powerful with its grief and joy #[ to have a TMI moment i have struggled with the illnesses of the mental for. All of my life v depression v anxiety #[ shitty n later divorced family etc etc etc i was in Super bad place for Really long time but just.#[ learned!!! and have Been learning to be kinder to myself #[ im still miles to go and i still struggle a lot with things #[ but ive been learning to try and better love myself like how i love others #[ and just. heehoo imparts love for love upon blorbos #[ there is so much Bad stuff in the world #[ but there are also good things and i think thats important #[ i will step on some crunchy leaves and i will go today is a good day and i think that loving life is Difficult but important #[ im still working on myself and have a Lot to improve/unlearn and whatnot but im in a much better place than i was a few years ago #[ and i know ill be even better in the future #[ its fucking hard do Not get me wrong dsfjklsd but its worth it imo #[ sfdlksdfl #[ to love life not through denial or ignorance but through seeing shit but doing it anyway for spite / want to be alright / love for others #[ anyway ramble over dslkjsd apologies again #[ i accidentally spilled a bottle of superglue n didnt realize until i returned to dorm so im just waiting for room to be rid of glue smell #[ i have Not slept well recently fdskl

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ventcode · 2 years

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might pull a silly and just lay the fuck down or some shit. just hug the pillow as much as possible. cry into it maybe. i cant deal with this. please.

#im still upset abt earlier. im still upset about alot of things.#tonight better be better tomorrow better be better this whole weekend better have something better #if not i might just break and fall apart. this week has been so stressful for what reason. did i piss off arceus? what did i do this week #to deserve any of this. i honestly do not know..#i just want a hug man maybe all my problems will go away maybe if someone actually fucking told me im not doing anything wrong and maybe ev #everything will be fucking fine then maybe i wouldnt have to worry about this shit all the time #why cant i be a good kid. why do i have to be this loser of a teenager why do i have to be this pathetic why cant i change #why cant i be as confident as i seem online. why cant i be the person i made myself online to be. why cant i be like that.#why cant i be confident. why cant i like myself. why cant i be cool. you know?#why am i so hated. whys everyone after me. what did i do. i didnt do anything wrong. i didnt hurt anybody. i dont hurt anybody!#im sorry to literally anyone who knows me. im sorry for being pathetic. im sorry for everything ive ever done.#im gonna go dream or some shit. maybe not in my sleep but im gonna think. im just gonna think of something different yk.#fuck.

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thedogslegart · 1 month

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Im in the weatherspoons. Better pixs later maybe. Anyway. Jack Marston daughter ☝️

#he has a void in his life that he filled by having a bunch of kids anyway heres the oldest at age 20 her name is #Aisling. but in public she gets called Abigail bc...her grandma and also bc aisling is an irish name and its the 1930s #and her mom told her if she wants a job dont let them know ur irish. anyway.#i wanna draw the others when they adults or maybe cir ww2 👍#let me do some quick maths.#the oldest boy is 16 at the start of the war so maybe he gets conscripted i will. do more reserch 👍#me op #doodles #traditional #oc: aisling marston #she is lanky like her grandpa lol (ig and her dad. but i hc jack is genrally chubby) bc she did not have much food as a small child and also #prenatal. so shes the slightest and the shortest (5'5“. bc marstons are tall) but um lanky still #AISLING!!! IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT U ALOT

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robocops-a-christ-allegory · 11 months

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My other whole thing with the way people talk about AI art is I think some of the conversations revealed alot of artists just have like no faith in other people. Like this idea that everybody who doesn't have the same sensitive artists soul as you is just gonna be ok with bad ai generated animation or art or whatever. Like people just don't have any taste and will just accept anything. You know there's boomer animation fans who straight up refuse to watch 3D animated movies because they think they look ugly right. Even if it becomes a impossible to avoid industry standard there's still gonna be people who don't like it and go for human made stuff instead. Why do you think so little of people you clearly also consider a possible audience for your work.

#i think the refusing to watch 3d animation thing is silly for the record but #like good example of what i mean. so many people prefer 2D animation still #but yeah in general the whole idea of like #broad appeal = bad i think is lame.#Ive been thinking about jack kirby alot lately.#its just like. have some faith. make stuff yyou think is good and #trust people to See Your Vision or whatever instead if thinking eveyones a #art neutral philistine or whatecer. ok walking home now.

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endless--sunsets · 5 months

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man. love really is stored in my friends huh

#SORRY i interacted with rabbit and got emotional again #i just. man!! i have people ive been friends with since fifth grade AND WE'RE STILL FRIENDS!#i do think about the friends i dont talk to anymore alot too tho..#kelsey iris vincent ari if ur reading this. love is stored in the you and i miss u everyday :“)#maybe its naive but i hope everyone from that friendgroup is doing well #except lee. fuck lee /lh

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