#maybe then id start figuring out and getting used to their hairs cuz rays hair shouldnt have kicked me as hard as it did

[aria0fgold]

Doodled Alec and Ray cuddling inspired by this post.

Alec looks like he's shorter than Ray but he purposely positions himself lower (he's taller by like, 3 inches. He's 6'3 and Ray is a solid 6 ft) when sleeping with Ray cuz he likes listening to his heartbeat.

[purpletuesday]

August 2nd 2020

Thank you so much, I’m just so emotional these past few days and all I want is to be left alone. I’m not allowed to be difficult or moody and that’s all I feel rn. I just got confronted again this morning....like fuck. Outta no wear...for being not happy? Not great full enough...?

I’m trying to not be a bitch and it’s like everything’s fucking personal. My mom starts off with...maybe you should just move back to California and not be around us anymore cuz it just seems like your so unhappy your here and that’s just probably what you want. Like damn bitch, COME FOR ME HARDERRRR

can’t a hoe just have a hardtime in peace? LIKE FUCKA ME. I wanna figure my own shit out and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fuckin said thatttt. They want me to talk to them so badly and I don’t want too. SO SHES LIKE THERAPY? And I was like yeah sure, I don’t think online therapy will be the best but it’s on my list of todo’s

IVE ONLY BEEN HERE 2 WEEKS....like fuck give me more space. Her: We can see your not happy so how do we make you happy? Fuck, idk like leave me alone maybe? Why do I have to be a fucking ray all the time? Of course I’m not happy, I’m not settled here yet...then she goes: don’t worry so much, just stop. MMMMM REVOLUTIONARY, NEVER CONSIDERED THAT ONE 🙌👏👏👏🙌 then thEN THENNN: do you feel better now? That you have a plan? Bitch.....really? You mean I feel better for calling you out and making you feel bad. Cuz....your different...you were never like this when you were younger....IS THIS STILL ABOUT EMILYYYYYY? I couldn’t breathe. REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Rrrrrreallly reallyyyyyyy?

Goodmorning, I love and miss you. Here are my emotions and this coolade boy who embodies the joke that is my life 👉👌😂😂✨

Ooohhh you wanna know what’s provoked thissss? I SAID I DIDNT WANNA SHOWER TODAY AND THAT ID SHOWER TOMORROW WHEN WE GOT HOME. AND SHE WENT OOOOOOOOOH OKKKKKKK WELL LETS JUSY PACK UP ANF GOOOO HOMEEEEE THENNNN. And I was like: um we’ll be home tomorrow....so like I’ve only not washed my hair in 2 days. I wanna use my hair care products. I didn’t bring them cuz it woulda been too much stuff....then rolled into how I’m so unhappy to be here. Mmmm cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool

Cue the fighting back of tears and the mental version of myself holding me going: ur big n strong, don’t cry. Ur a big bad bitch who’s ok. Ur ok, pick a name any name. Repeat it in ur head till u feel like ur not just gonna cry profusely. *pats back in brain* ur just a big ol sad bitch who wants to get high and dance and stretch aloneeee.