#ariaoc: Alec

[aria0fgold]

Mermaid Alec while it's still Mermay!

[aria0fgold]

There's this new trend happening in the former bird app where people show how long it'd take for a character to apologize by drawing the head and a line connecting to an apology at the end. And honestly, I'm not good at keeping up with trends but this one is fairly easy to do so!

Good timing too cuz I've been thinking bout the scenario of Alec and Ray arguing so I took this chance to do my own spin on the trend!

Also this is what Ray said for easy reading (and for better viewing cuz it's pretty hard to do bold and italic on a single word in ibis):

"Can't you be a little selfish for once?! Can't you at least just THINK ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT CARES ABOUT YOU?! Think about your parents! Think about your siblings! THINK ABOUT ME! IT! HURTS! Every single time you go to who knows where, it hurts! My chest tightens so much and my mind is filled with so much worry at whatever the FUCK you're doing and I don't! I don't even know where you are, WHAT YOU'RE DOING!

And the thought of opening that damn door to someone telling me you're in critical condition or worst yet-- dead-- HURTS! SO MUCH!"

[aria0fgold]

Doodled Alec and Ray cuddling inspired by this post.

Alec looks like he's shorter than Ray but he purposely positions himself lower (he's taller by like, 3 inches. He's 6'3 and Ray is a solid 6 ft) when sleeping with Ray cuz he likes listening to his heartbeat.

[aria0fgold]

In this world, the storm will pass

Alec sat atop the railing of the balcony, looking up at the sky as it slowly dims to reveal the countless stars awaiting the night to be seen, to twinkle at the life below the vast sky. A cigarette placed between his lips, smoke rising up to the stars that he can only dream of reaching someday.

His eyes were vacant, what was once a vibrant blue, like the sky in a cloudless sunny day, is now merely as dull as the sky in the fog, in the stormy weather that never left. But it's getting better now. Slowly, slowly… Like clouds drifting in a windless day, moving an inch, yet moving still. Slowly… The storm will pass. But for now, he'll stay in the eye of it.

Standing beneath the stars surrounded by a quiet storm all kept inside. In this world, everything is the same, yet different. In this world, everyone is alive, safe from a greater danger than life itself. In this world, Alec is supposed to be dead, yet here he is… Someone else. In this world, his family lost Alec, yet in his world, he lost everything.

So what is he doing here then? Intruding in a world that didn't need someone like him. An Alec that was doomed to have nothing, living in a world that has moved on from Alec's death. He doesn't know, doesn't understand. He gave up understanding the world ever since that day, the day where it collapsed, leaving him with nothing but ruin. He always thought that, it would be better for him to have lost himself to the forest instead than be brought here by whatever force, whatever power, whatever God, who thought it entertaining to put him here, in this world. Is it fun? His life… to be toyed with by fate, by the world itself, is it fun? He gave up wondering about it, gave up on an answer he didn't need to hear.

Alec took a drag on his cigarette, frankly, he isn't one to smoke, he isn't one to drink, he isn't one to do any such things. But what does it matter anyway? His body… won't sustain any damage from it anymore. It's different. Everything is. Nothing was ever the same ever since his world started collapsing. Nothing was. So it didn't matter, whatever damage he does to his body didn't matter, it'll just heal it all anyway. Leaving not even scars on his skin, what a picture perfect body, devoid of scars. One would wonder if he ever went through such things, when there's nothing for him to show for it.

Alec glanced down, it was pretty high. This house, this balcony on the third floor. He gave up on that thought long ago though, it was the only constant he has left, his will to live, even after everything. Foolish, isn't it? To continue wanting to live even after all that, for what reason really? He doesn't know anymore, his memory isn't as good as it was before. So much so, that he's guilty of forgetting what his family looked like. Had he not been living in this world, he would've forgotten their names too.

Alec looked up again, to the pitch black sky, the stars brightly twinkling at him. Back in his world, he found solace in the night, in the stars above. He thought of them as his family watching over him, was it a myth he read back then? The souls of your loved ones becoming stars in the night sky. What of it now, however? In a world where everything is okay, is his family's souls still amongst the sea of stars, watching over him like they did before? What would they think of him now? Would they be happy? Glad? Relieved? Or would they be mad? Upset? Betrayed? To see Alec be happy with someone that's them yet aren't at the same time?

He doesn't want to think about it.

Just as Alec brought the cigarette to his lips to take another drag, the hand of another reached out to take it from his own, he didn't need to turn around to know who it belonged to. He knows it already, by heart.

“You okay?” Ray stood beside him, leaning on the railing as he threw the cigarette to the ground. Putting the fire out with his slippers.

“You're going to ruin that pair soon if you keep that up…”

“Well, that's fine. I forgot to grab the ashtray on the way.” Ray hummed, “You dodged my question again though.” His voice had a slight teasing tone, mouth formed into a small grin as he glanced at Alec.

“It's always the same answer, anyway.” I'm fine. That's the answer he always gives to that question, every single time. He knows it's a lie, they know it's a lie, but what else can he say when words aren't enough to convey whatever he's been feeling ever since then?

“I don't mind that. Maybe, once a lie is repeated enough times, it'd come true someday.” Ray chuckled, “Though that sounds a bit dangerous, now that I think about it.”

Silence fell between the both of them, it isn't heavy nor is it tense. It was comfortable, like the breeze of the night. Ray looked to the sky, and Alec… he looked to Ray's eyes. It was as dark as the night sky, reflecting the countless stars twinkling high above with a light all too familiar yet not at the same time. This is Ray, yet not his Ray. That is Ray, one who've turned into light, amongst the sea of many others, high above the sky, a bright twinkling star. In a way, he did become a ray of light, just not that of sunshine as he would always say.

Alec moved his eyes towards the sky once more, and the two stayed there, in the silence, below the night sky, underneath the stars, they bathed in the light of a hundred promises, a thousand wishes and a million hopes for a future gentler than their present.

[aria0fgold]

Thinking bout Alec and Ray again and the dynamic between the two like the way that Ray presents himself to others as someone who's energetic and cheerful, and he even jokingly introduces himself as "a Ray of sunshine" but he's actually more moon coded instead in a way that he was Alec's light in his darkest night.

And how Alec presents himself as someone who's calm and reserved to the point that others can't help but to rely on him, and when placed side by side with Ray, makes him seem more moon coded but he's actually sun coded in a way that he brightened up Ray's world.

Makes me think a lot bout em.

[aria0fgold]

Whumptober day 1 prompt: Safety Net | Swooning

Characters: Alec, Ray Ages: 17, 15

Alec stood by the corner of the room, loud blaring music surrounded his every side combined with the endless chattering of several people, their voices turning to static in Alec's head. He leaned on the wall, a glass of water in his hand, trying his best to look casual despite his spinning vision, and his out of place position.

Ray, being as popular as always, got invited to a party and asked Alec if he wanted to come along, a question Alec agreed to. When was the last time he attended a party? He doesn't know, maybe he would come to know in the future, or maybe not at all. Although his memories returned 2 years ago, it was still incomplete. In fact, it still doesn't feel like his. He's been doing all that he can to find out the person he once was.

Going out to see more of the world he had once shut off. Slowly, bit by bit, all to understand the child in his memories. His young self that was so hyper and cheerful, after all, understanding one's past will help to understand one's present, right?

So here he is, in a party he doesn't belong to. It felt like his head was being squeezed. Was it the noise? The intermingling smells of perfume? The bright flashing lights? He doesn't know. Everything is a blur now, static tearing at his skull. He closed his eyes, breathed shallowly, gripped the glass in his hand ever so slightly, careful not to break it.

This was a bad idea.

But was it really? Didn't it help him? It should… it should've. His young self would've loved places like these, right? He was so bubbly and playful, he'd fit right in, just as easily as Ray does… Right? He doesn't know…

It felt like the ground was slipping from underneath him. He gritted his teeth, hoping for it to stop. Hoping that he'd get better soon once he pushes down his feelings. If he ignores it, it should go away soon enough, right? Right? He doesn't know anymore… he doesn't know… doesn't know…

"Alec?" A clear voice rang out from the sea of noise.

He slowly opened his eyes and saw Ray standing in front of him. What expression does he have? Alec doesn't know, it was too blurry to see. But his voice, sounded so gentle.

"Hey… How are you feeling?" He asked softly.

Alec tried to answer, yet no sound came out of his parted lips.

"It's alright, here, I got you." Ray pulled Alec close, wrapping his arms around him in a warm embrace.

Alec felt Ray take the glass in his hands, he heard him talking to someone else before speaking to Alec again.

"Let's head home once you feel a little better, so you can rest easy, yeah?"

[aria0fgold]

Whumptober day 12 prompt: Insomnia

Characters: Ray, Alec Ages: 18, 20

Ray yawned for what felt like the hundredth time that night, swarmed with schoolwork he had been putting off for days and now he only has a couple of hours left until all of it is due. He yawned again, leaning back into his chair and wiping away tears he wasn't even sure was from all his yawning or not.

He let out a long sigh, stared at the ceiling for awhile before lightly slapping himself to get back to work. He brought the chair closer to the desk, propping up his chin on his hand as he looked at what he has left to finish. There were still some essays to be written, a couple of worksheets to be answered. Ray looked at the time on his laptop, 4 am, he looked to the side of the desk, littered with cans of energy drinks and two empty cups of that once had coffee with several shots of espresso inside.

Ray groaned as he carelessly dropped his head on the desk with a thud. Why couldn't he have gradually worked on these things like most of his classmates had done? They were given weeks! And yet here he is, doing weeks' worth of work in just hours, like a failure. Can't he even go a single month without being a disappointment to the people around him?

Ah, but he has. Every month. Ray gritted his teeth, grabbing his hair tightly. He thanks his parents for insisting on that acting class, it was all he has going for him now. Acting. A skill he uses every single day. No one knows how bad of a failure he truly is, no one knows how much of a disappointment he can be. Every day he puts on a mask that no one can see through, and every day he struggles to even do something as simple as waking up in the morning and sleeping at night.

He isn't as great as he presents himself to be.

Ray suddenly felt someone grab his hands, he flinched at the touch and quickly raised his head it made his vision spin a bit. Alec stood beside him with a small frown.

“You're gonna hurt yourself.” He spoke in a slightly monotone voice, something that had been the case for years now. Ray sometimes miss the voice Alec had before that incident, when it was so full of emotion.

“Ah, sorry.” Ray chuckled.

Alec looked at the papers cluttered all over the desk, he tilted his head, “Do you need help?”

“Ah… No, not really…” Ray was unsure how to answer that.

“You need rest.”

Ray let out a small laugh, “Not yet, I need to finish these today.”

There was a beat of silence, until a small voice broke it before it went on for long, “I'm worried about you.”

Ray looked at Alec, his childhood best friend, who had become empty and emotionless, yet there are times where he shows such rare genuine emotion, Ray couldn't possibly ignore it. In the end, he can't really win against those puppy eyes, can he?

Ray let out a sigh, with a mixture of emotion he couldn't recognize at that moment, “I guess… I do need help after all.”

There was always one person that sees through such an act.

[aria0fgold]

Lil rambling bout how Alec was as a kid. One word, troublemaker. But, in a good way??? Like, he is also very precious, friendly, and kind that it cancels out how much of a troublemaker he can be until he does something to remind that: "Oh yeah this kid can be a headache sometimes."

During class he can be well behaved, can be, which is only sometimes. He's not the, I'm going to disrupt the class misbehaving type but it also lowkey disrupts the class anyway (He loves asking questions, at first his questions will be on topic but if you let him ask questions for too long it'll end up getting derailed.)

He's just a really curious and incredibly talkative kid. The moment Alec talks to you prepare listen for hours on several topics (cuz he jumps from topic to topic he can barely stay on track, he will try if you tell him but... dont count on it). Bubbly and cheerful too like, he's like a golden retriever combined with a samoyed.

At some point, Alec became their school's lil unofficial mascot cuz nearly everyone knows him. And it's a reputation split between "annoying" and "lovable." Also don't mistake his kindness as being really nice, he's kind, but he can be mean too if you're mean to him as well. (Which is not a good thing unless you're prepared to have an earful of angry ranting from a kid that won't shut up. he can practically insult you without using that many harsh words. also it may end up as a semi-rap he'll be talking so fast with barely any breaks in between).

Don't even try to get physical with him as well, he knows martial arts (if Ray's parents enrolled him in acting lessons, Alec's parents got him in martial arts training. In their defense, it can hopefully help spend some of Alec's seemingly unlimited supply of energy. And hey, Alec enjoys it too anyway!)

Basically, Alec is a very sporty kid! He loves doing physical activities a lot more than studying... You can see where that went for him (he only gets barely passing grades up until Ray started helping him out with it which thankfully improved that a bit!)

Ray on the other hand is like the complete opposite of Alec in that he's very shy, not at all good with groups and talking to practically everyone unless he's close to them. These two are a great combo where Alec helps Ray in terms of socializing and physical activities, while Ray helps Alec in terms of studies and keeping him in check (making sure he doesnt get into too much of a trouble).

[aria0fgold]

BONUS: Alec, Ray Ages: 13, 11

Ray walked to the front of the class, holding the paper that contains his essay to present to everyone, all he needed to do was read it, simple. He's done it several times before now so he should be able to do it as easily this time, surely… But he still couldn't.

He stood, facing his classmates as he held his paper close to his face, bringing it down slightly so as to not block his view of them, just as he was taught. He needed to look at them too, eye contact. But each time he does, he can't help but feel as though he was being judged. He didn't like it at all, but he has to do it anyway. It's easy, it'll be fine, all he needs to do is just read what he had written, easy as that.

Ray took a shaky deep breath, no matter how many times he stood at the front of the class, it never gets easy, it's never so simple. Why can't he get used to it already?

He glanced around the room, looking for something, or more specifically, for someone. Strangely, Ray had gotten used to the presence of a particular boy that is always there whenever he has a presentation, when that should've been impossible in the first place. They have entirely different classes, one two grades above him. But being the troublemaker that the other was, he's always there for Ray anyway… Just like now.

Ray's eyes widened slightly as his gaze landed on a familiar redhead. His best friend, Alec, hid behind the chair of the kid at the back of the class, he poked his head out to smile at Ray, mouthing “You can do it!” before hiding again.

A quiet giggle escaped Ray's lips. The suffocating air he once felt slowly vanished as he read aloud his essay for the class.

…

“Alec, you know, you always have such good timing.” “Really? But you do tell me whenever you have a presentation the next day anyway.” “Yeah but the teacher calls us randomly each time, but you're always there when it's my turn.” “Hmm… I guess, it's just cuz I wanted to see you! Maybe that's why, hehe! Anyway, let's head to the cafeteria! Cmon, cmon!” …I wanted to see you too. “Hehe… Okay!”

[aria0fgold]

Whumptober day 8, alternative prompt used: Panic

Characters: Alec, Ray Ages: 20, 18

Ray gripped the safety bars of the rollercoaster as tightly as he could, so much so that his knuckles turned white. He can't handle rollercoasters, in fact, he can't handle heights at all. So what is he doing seated at the back of one of the most extreme rollercoaster in the themepark? He didn't want to bring the mood down any more than he already had. His family love these kinds of rides, Ray tried his best to refuse as lighthearted as he could, but they continued to insist he try it out anyway.

“Stop being such a killjoy! It isn't as bad as it looks! You wouldn't even know if you like it or not without trying it out first!” They said.

But I can't… I really can't… I'm scared of heights… were the words stuck behind his throat, words he swallowed and smiled through with a small laugh, “You got me there! Alright, I'll ride it with you guys!”

He drew in a shaky breath as the rollercoaster slowly moved forward. Would it have been better had he told them the truth? That he's afraid of heights? No… In the end, they'd just laugh, wouldn't they? There wasn't any reason for him to develop such a fear, but that's the thing, fears are all unreasonable, was it so wrong to be scared of heights without having experienced something traumatic in regards to it? It isn't… right?

Ray's breath hitched as the ride reaches its drop, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine… it'll be fine, everything will be fine, he can just swallow down his fear and hide behind another mask, he's a good actor, he can do it, it's fine, it'll be easy, it's fine, he'll be fine…

... ... ...

He couldn't remember much of the ride, the next thing he knew it had reached its end, coming to a halt as the safety bars were brought up. He got off last, just as soon as the other guests had, blending in with them to avoid his family from seeing him slip away on unsteady legs, luckily they sat at the front.

He ran as far as he could, stopping by a bench somewhere, sitting down and gripping its seat. His chest hurts so much, he couldn't breathe. The more desperate he tried to breathe, the harder it was to do. Beads of cold sweat formed on his forehead, he felt his vision spinning, dark spots forming at the corners of his sight. He needs to calm down, why can't he breathe, he needs to calm down already, why can't he breathe, he needs to get back to his family, why can't I breathe…?

No matter his inner pleas, he still couldn't breathe. The dark spots grew, creeping closer and closer, enveloping his entire vision, threatening to swallow him whole. Just as he was about to give up, a voice rang out so clearly from the noise that had became of the world.

“Ray!”

Alec ran and sat in front of Ray, carefully grabbing him and though his face was blurry to Ray, he can tell just how worried he is anyway, “Here, lean onto me.”

And so Ray did, he held Alec's shirt with a weak grip, placing his head on the crook his neck, still trying his hardest to breathe. Alec gently grabbed one of Ray's hands, carefully placing it on his chest, directly on top of his heart as he held it in place. Alec hummed a slow and soft tune as he gently rubbed his back.

Ray shifted his focus on his best friend's voice and the beating of his heart underneath his fingertips. The two stayed like that for awhile. Until finally, Ray can breathe again.

[aria0fgold]

Don't... don't look at Ray's drawing, Focus on whatever is written instead. Just look at Alec actually.

For the written parts, I tried to write as like-- their own handwriting, Alec's handwriting has cursive mixed into it, which makes it... somewhat unreadable when he's writing quickly (only ones that can read that at that point is Ray and his mom). Basically, his full name is Alec Majesta (<-Doesn't use during introductions, he's too embarrassed bout it) P. Martin, alignment is neutral good and he works as an elementary school teacher.

His favourite flower is a white rose! With his favourite colours being white (for Reasons... *points to Ray*) and black (It's Ray Reasons too). Oh and the empathy thing, he's sensitive to the emotions around him but Has No Idea Why, it's one of the reasons how he can see through Ray's faked smiles.

On Ray's side, well, his handwriting makes it easier to read so! His favourite flower is a sunflower! With his favourite colours being green and yellow (for Reasons... Alec Reasons).

[aria0fgold]

I'm going to try... to keep this as coherent as possible.

So like, Alec and Ray, my dear sons that I'm very Normal about, very. I can't separate them, I tried to, but it was a wreck (angst it was a tragedy). They're childhood best friends, having met since kindergarten cuz their parents are buddies.

And they are, platonic soulmates <- This thing made me feral.

Look, there's just something really REALLY good about two people being connected to one another via an invisible link that can only be felt by those two people. Romantic soulmates? Love that. But I rarely see platonic soulmates so now I have Alec and Ray for that.

They're insane bro (positive), they're insane (lovingly), I'm insane (lighthearted). Like! LIKE!!! I think the craziest thing I could possibly give them is the fact that they can "sense" when the other is in danger. And it is also my crime.

Alec and Ray are like two halves of a whole while also still being whole themselves without the other. They're incomplete without the other but in a way of still being complete but the moment they meet they'd be more complete than before, ya know?

Like, like, that part bout sensing the other. Like. Can you imagine? Alec being in danger, either something bad is about to happen or is already happening and all the while Ray feels so uneasy to the point he'd locate Alec no matter what it takes? Without even knowing that Alec is actually in danger.

And same for Alec too!

And and like, the reaction is similar to one another but a lil to the left for each of em. Like, if something is wrong with Alec, Ray gets uneasy to the point that it gets hard to breathe and the more endangered Alec's life gets, the harder it is for Ray to breathe and he'd feel so uneasy the only way to get rid of that feeling is to see Alec.

And for Alec, it'd be his chest that starts hurting. Like, like, LIKE!!! Ray feels like his lungs and heart is being squeezed inside him but for Alec, he feels like his lungs and heart is being ripped out of him instead.

These two care and watch over one another so much that the moment either of them feel uneasy, the first thing they'd do is check up on the other. Even if it turns out that it was like a "false alarm" it doesn't matter to them cuz like better safe than sorry, yaknow?

[aria0fgold]

This is so fun actually!

This is the messiest I've allowed myself and it's sooo fun actually. Fun silly messy doodles I need to do these more now.

[aria0fgold]

Just been in a daydreaming mood and I ended up accidentally making a pretty neat AU for my dearest sons, Alec and Ray. But now that I'm writing it all down, my brain suddenly came into a screeching halt as I got into the deep philosophies of it and I'm like: hwat--

[aria0fgold]

I just remembered that Halcyon's colour palette is literally Alec's but complementary-ish colours instead. I can't believe this. I never actually did escaped Alec, the lil shit (affectionately. I love him too much...)

[aria0fgold]

Also Alec and Ray's supposed "theme songs" are just songs I played which resulted or aided in the creation of them cuz honestly Alec's one DOESN'T FIT HIM AT ALL! But alas... it is the song that started it all, so... Until I find one that Actually Fits, he's stuck with his creation song as his theme song.