#me about yas: she is a broken queen of only 18 and has self esteem issues and her father sucks and mom is abscent and daniel is like the

[teachbalance]

yas being my cobr.a ka.i oc because the show does nothing but make her the mean girl and then deme.tri’s girlfriend.

[thehummingindontblameme-blog]

this is not your ordinary tour post.

you’re probably rolling your eyes rn, but it’s true because i’ve already had all my reputation shows. this is a thank you post to @taylorswift​.  to thank her for the out of body experience that happened on 5-12-18.  above is a picture of me.  i’m sam!! and i would do anything for taylor allison swift!!

i’ve been a swiftie since 2014, but i wish i could go back in time and have become a swiftie earlier in my life!  but don’t you dare doubt me when i say that i know every word to every song, from i’d lie to mary’s song, from sweeter than fiction to come in with the rain, from shake it off to you belong with me!  my room is plastered in posters of @taylorswift​ and i finally decided to start a tumblr. 

i remember watching the new romantics tour video and thinking “i can’t even imagine seeing her in real life”  because for the past 4 years i’ve just been watching her life in pictures, dreaming impossible dreams.  but then...

reputation dropped.  the blackout happened. i didn’t know what was going on, i was excited and scared.  but i knew that taylor swift was not over.  look what you made me do dropped.  i remember crying on my floor and asking my cat if it was real.  if it was real that taylor was back. i played look what you made me do on repeat until gorgeous dropped, then call it what you want.  and then reputation dropped.  and i just about died.  it’s still the best album i’v ever heard from anybody, and i’m just so happy that i’m able to be a swiftie in this era.  but one thing that stood out was that there would be a freaking tour.  i had a chance.  i looked at the tour dates.  santa clara is 4 hours away, easy, and the tickets were pricey, but i wished and wished and wished.  

it happened.  it was new years eve, my 13th birthday.  (coincidence??? i think not) my family was driving home from going out to lunch and my mom said, “you know what, why don’t you open some presents a little early” and i was like “heck yes” and she handed me this giant bag.  everything was tied with a ribbon, so i had to pull everything out one by one.  first, it was mt 5th copy of reputation, then it was the reputation t shirt, and then it was another target magazine, and then... lyrics written on cards. i was already crying from the merch, but then... there was a little envelope at the end.  i opened it, and i started sobbing. i screamed so loud, because there in my hands, were two reputation tour tickets.  i kept screaming “i’m going to breath the same air as her?? be in the same stadium as her???”  

i got to work.  i had 5 months till tour, and i spent those five months counting down the days, fantasizing about costumes and the set list, watching that new romantics video but with more positive thoughts in mind.  i made me costume, i made me sign. i was ready for it.  

spoiler alert: i was NOT ready for it

my mom and i drove the 4 hours, listening to @taylorswift the whole way. funny story:  our car got broken into, so we stopped at my aunt and uncle’s house, and i thought it was literally the sweetest thing that when i walked in, they were playing shake it off in their kitchen.  for me. so that’s why the window is taped up. but we didn’t let it affect our concert, we shook it off.  

we got to the stadium, safe and sound.  my heart was pounding, i was shaking and breathing heavily when i got there. i had to throw my sign away, but i was good with it. 

i got my very own snake ring at the merch trucks, and a tour t shirt that is probably my most prized possesion.  again, words cannot describe how freaked out i was.  i was saying “you mean... taylor allison swift is less than a mile away from me right now???”  

i painted my nails to say “i heart ts” and i drew a 13 on my hand.  

my mom was sick but she still came to the concert with me, so we were getting an iced coffee for her.  but while we were in line... the lights turned off.  the stadium went black.  i screamed, my mom and i ran to our seats.  we stumbled through people rushing to their seats, but we made it.  i was sobbing. the iconic “BABY LET THE GAMES BEGIN”  began after the iconic opening video and by then i was hyperventilating.  @taylorswift came on and i was screaming and i kept saying to my mom “she’s right there!! taylor swift is right there!!!”  and i was a mess but i think i was the mess she wanted.  

my mom took a ton of pictures of me screaming the lyrics, i think this was during ready for it.  

idsb was probably my favorite part of the show.  i was shook and wigless from the vocal shows and the insane fireworks.  at this point i was screaming “THIS IS THE BEST PART MOM THIS IS THE BEST SONG”  

and then at the end of idsb she smiled that smile of hers and looked out at that endless ocean of crowd and i realized i was part of that endless ocean of crowd so i just kept screaming at the top of my lungs “I LOVE YOU TAYLOR”  and “I WOULD DIE FOR YOU”  

taylor did a speech before gorgeous and called me gorgeous and that really does a lot for your self esteem so

love story and style and you belong with me were amazing, the holy trinity honestly.  

she played look what you made me do and I SAW KARYN BUT I DIDN’T KNOW HER NAME YET and i was probably the only one singing the background vocals in end game and it felt a m a z i n g

she did her little delicate speech and i was like “PREACH GURL” because she started talking about her break and how feeling lonely is different than feeling alone and i really felt that ya’ know?  literally anything that comes out of her mouth is gold.  

and then this queen pulled the best day out of her little pocket full of sunshine and surprise songs from 2009??? and it was really emotional for me and my mom because that’s our song and we both were singing it together and hugging and i started crying again.  

SHE SANG BLANK SPACE AND I DID THE SANTA CLARA BACKGROUD VOCAL THING OFC AND I LOOK AT HER HITTING THAT HIGH NOTE I’M SO PROUD OF HER VOCAL SKILLS

also i witnessed @taylorswift take off her dress but it’s cool it’s chill nobody freaking out over there i was completely calm and composed you know how i feel about taylor swift, i just think she’s alright and everything she does is nothing special 

and then the bad blood and SHOULD’VE SAID NO mashup came on and i died and rose up from the dead to take this picture my mom was like “let’s take a picture”  and i was like “i’m too busy dancing”  but then i let her take a picture of me...

the humming.  the humming in don’t blame me.  could it be... my STAN SONG??? THE BEST SONG TAYLOR ALLISON SWIFT HAS EVER RELEASED?? HUH?? ALL THE VOCALS AND THE BRIDGE AND THE CHORUS AND EVERY SINGLE LYRIC MY HEART WAS POUNDING I WAS THE LOUDEST ONE IN THE STADIUM AND I DIED DEAD DONT BLAME MEEEEE

 also LONG LIVE AND NEW YEARS DAY um excuse me while i drown in my tears

POEMS WERE READ TEA WAS SPILLED and then i heard “no nothin good starts in a getaway car” and I  L O S T  I T

here i am in hysterics again, screaming “WE NEVER HAD A SHOTGUN SHOT IN THE DARK” 

(i’m skipping around bc i don’t have that many pictures)

the “oooOOOOooOOOOh” in WANEGBT started playing and once again, i lost my composure.  

in conclusion, it was the best night of my entire life.  and i’m serious about that.  i saw @taylorswift with my own eyes.  i saw her in real life, her hot glue gun scar and her hella good hair, and it was unforgettable.  i saw her play the album that i love so dearly.  she taught me lessons in that stadium, lessons about loneliness and love and disappearance.  no, i didn’t meet her in reproom.  obviously i wanted to (i would give anything to)  but it wasn’t about meeting her.  

it was about being with her.  being too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet with her.  in that stadium, i felt free of judgement and i was able to dance and sing and have the time of my life.  and for that, i want to thank @taylorswift.  for putting on a show that i’ll look back on and smile and possibly cry.  i want to thank the dancers and the band and the background singers for making it even better, and i want to thank the people who clean up the glitter after the party.  thank you @taylorswift.  ever since may 12th, i’ve been doin’ better than i ever was.