#me as a phlebotomist

[asheissketchy]

Let's turn someone inside out. 🗡️

[dyrewrites]

Having my blood drawn and the phlebotomist asks, "What are your plans for the rest of the day?"

As one does, totally normal question, for which I was foolish and honest, "Writing, probably...or revising rather, it's already written."

"Revising?"

"Oh, novel. It's a novel."

"Ooh, what's it about?"

And now we flounder remembering how words work despite trying desperately to make words into a career, "It's an urban fantasy...about wishes? I...it's hard to explain." that didn't explain even a single thing what is wrong with me.

"Sounds neat though. This your first one?"

People are never this curious, what is happening, "No, I have another one, different one."

"How'd that one do?"

"It's not published. It's in beta."

"To see if it's good enough to be published?"

"Basically."

"Ah, so that's how that works. Neat. You have anything published then?"

Who is this woman, "Short stories."

"Ooh."

"Horror stories."

"...oh."

Exactly the response that always gets. >.<

[solradguy]

About a year before I got into GG, a phlebotomist said that I have "dark blood" (???) and since then my one friend group and I have joked about my cursed evil beast blood. It's been three years. Happy three years anniversary to my sinister dark blood

[pinkestlittlebutterfly]

Servamp hospital AU with no plot only vibes but I do the rest of the cast too so everyone can suffer:

Iduna – Clinical engineer. Though her responsibilities are mostly limited to testing, maintaining and occasionally doing small repairs on the medical equipment, she always looks at the machines in her care like she’s itching to do more. She’s vastly overqualified for her position, but left what would be any other engineer’s dream job at a well-known medical manufacturer to take it, for unknown reasons. 

Freya – The resident pharmacist. She wouldn’t usually have much contact with patients, but sometimes exasperated nurses will ask her to explain how some patient’s medication works to them, counting on her fierce glare to hammer the message home. She’s precise in her work but not opposed to chaos, as evident by how much time she spends watching Iduna come up with creative ways to test the surgery robots. 

Licht – Paramedic, stoic in even the most stressful situations. Though one wouldn’t think of him as good with people, the confidence he has in everything he does is a pillar of comfort to those he treats as well as his team. Some people think he developed a bit of a complex, saving people’s lives on a daily basis, but Hyde assures them he’s always been like that. He rarely starts fights (with those who aren't Hyde) but will end them.

Hyde – Paramedic. Whether he’s well-suited for his profession is up for debate, as stress makes him act out easily when in the wrong mood. He put himself on a team with Licht, and for a long time any emergency doctor made to work with them would groan at the thought of their squabbling. Recently they have gotten along better, and Hyde’s stress tolerance seems to have improved. 

Niccolo – Emergency doctor, originally an internist. Though he spends most of his time looking like he’ll fall apart at even the suggestion of stress, he changes completely once in an actual life-or-death situation and will easily take charge of his team. He’s happy in his job, and it’s a step up from working in the hospital itself, which was the actual cause of his stress. 

Ildio – ER nurse. Though he seems to be a perfect fit for his job – fiercely caring but looking rough enough to nip any problematic behaviour in the bud – it’s actually just what he first fell into when completing his training. Recently the emergency doctor he spends his breaks with has encouraged him to find something he actually enjoys doing, and he has been looking to become a NICU nurse. 

Krantz – Professional translator, working wherever a bridge between the staff and one of their patients needs to be built, and is thus always busy. No one knows how many languages he actually speaks. His most impressive achievement in bridge-building is getting paramedics Licht and Hyde to form a somewhat cohesive unit, to a point where their long-suffering ambulance driver has him on speed dial.

Johannes – Haematologist. He is obsessed with his work and spends a decidedly unhealthy amount of hours in the lab, living off strange concoctions presumably containing lots of caffeine and lots of sugar. Though he's not supposed to collect his samples himself, he does so with great joy. Few of the studies he proposes make it past the ethics committee.

Gear – Lab tech. The quiet world of the lab suits him, and he’s well adapted to the traditions and mindsets of those who live within it, though they tend to come off as bizarre to others. He spends his downtime scouring catalogues for the latest lab equipment, and sometimes brings some of it home to decorate the house with. His husband Youtarou seems strangely okay with this.

Youtarou – Social media manager. Most people think of his job as useless, but he thinks it's important for patients and even more so potential recruits to have a friendly face to associate the hospital with. His favourite part of the job is working with Iduna, who in turn loves the opportunity to make the surgery robots do something funny for a cute video.

[andy-clutterbuck]

[midnight-moth]

Thank you everyone for being so sweet to me.

I’m sorry I’m just gonna rant a little more. Also please don’t feel obligated to read my shit. I know everyone is going through their own things and I don’t mean to trigger anyone or make people feel obligated to use their mental energy to make me feel better. I just need to put it all some where.

The diagnosis is long covid, so nice of them to email me my chart so I can try to explain to my work why I’m fucking brain dead. he said will cause brain fog, worsened preexisting conditions like anxiety and depression along with a whole bunch of other stuff.

he was just like shrug we don’t know what causes it yet, work with your non existent family doctor to manage your symptoms. I also apparently have stage 1 hypertension which he thinks is stress related. My white blood cells are super high which is the covid … hopefully. Another thing to bring to my non-existent doctor.

I mean, I guess I’m glad my death is not imminent but I feel extremely frustrated and sad. I wore the masks I got all the vaccines I’m basically a hermit. But I know that doesn’t really matter. I just really did not need this on top of everything else. I don’t know how I’m supposed to work full time and do all the things I need to do when I feel like this. And he told me to manage my stress. Okay sir. How?

2024 what the fucking fuck. It’s only been 3 days.

[onion-morty]

Phlebotomist Morty!!!!!!

had to destress while studying for finals so heres me mixing work with play lol

The colored image is me fumbling the ball and spilling the sample all over myself and my practice partner while attempting inversions. Irl Morty moment fr fr

[moregraceful]

.

Two reactions from two very different healthcare providers wrt the state of things:

Told my gp my symptoms and she started frowning 🫠

Told [redacted specialist] my symptoms and she said, very calmly, "I think we need to see each other weekly to start off." 🫠🫠

I have four healthcare appointments with four different healthcare providers next week, and I'm like...oh boy, one of you better be ready to create a treatment or management plan with me, I cannot continue to live like this, I am so bored. I have not left the house except to go to the laboratory, grocery store, or mediocre bagel shop in almost two weeks (all things that are very geographically close to me.) I am on medical leave from both my jobs AND school. I even got bored of trying to diagnose myself on Hospital Google. I want to do literally anything other than be at home, but! body broken. Creating my little goals list of what I want to get out of treatment or symptom management and it's just like, 1. See my friends in person, 2. Ice skate, 3. Go back to one of my jobs. Literally just, help me be able to leave the house for more than 20 minutes without collapsing please 🫠 Oh my god.

[happyk44]

Waterboarding my veins by chugging water before my blood draw so they fucking FUNCTION and I don't have to get stabbed 4 times for nothing

[pohlepen]

told the phlebotomist, "i like to watch. im a watcher" and we both had to sit with that while she drew my blood.

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

Look I don't know what the fuck antarctica is.

It's like stuff your ass ain't surviving past though

[bloomvalyria]

I had blood drawn for the first time in my life today and I didn’t throw up or pass out despite my 177 panic attacks and I think that deserves some recognition

[ponycycle]

at the hospital getting routine stuff done

phlebotomist does NOT like the way the tests were ordered or something, he kept quizzing me on it. who's the doctor who ordered this? showing me the sample labels - "this you?" yes???? - holding them next to my hospital bracelet to compare them like Mr Bean would. your appointment was for xx:xx?

bro I have no food or caffeine in me and I have no idea where you're going with this. I can't help you. we've definitively established who I am. I didn't write out an order for myself with crayon, it is in your system and you just printed those labels out in front of me

[solradguy]

I getting routine bloodwork done this evening and I hope the phlebotomist has something weird to say about either my blood or my veins because about 60% of the time they do and I think about it forever

[match-your-steps]

when do i get to leave jail i've been here for like a week (really long monopoly game)

[andy-clutterbuck]