#me outwardly : i dont follow up or chase people because im being normal and chill abt the fuck of it all | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

silphilis · 1 year

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i hate knowing why i do things thats so fucked. i have medical brainrot and its still not enough to erase the comprehensive collection of data i have on why ive done and felt everything that i have done and felt for my whole life. ruins the fun of it. buzzkill. cockblock. etcetera. shawties that cant even fuck up their own life in peace because they are painfully aware of why they want to act up and how to fix it. fuck you

#stupid silly interweb posts . last post related .#me outwardly : i dont follow up or chase people because im being normal and chill abt the fuck of it all #me internally immediately after : this is because last time you did repeatedly remind someone every time u had plans because they ditched u #for someone else every single time u did not and when u reminded them they did in fact. forget again and then when u expressed ur feelings #about it they chewed you out for not being upset constructively enough. after this u never saw them again #alternatively there was That Other Event . for this reason u are afraid to ever express excessive pursuance of anyone because they might #actually just not care about you at all and u will end up knitting sweaters and driving 100 miles to see someone who would not even help u #off the floor if they were right next to u . u are also afraid the extent of your ability to care for someone is something that is not #possible for you to experience in return and are choosing to in response refuse your natural instinct to be really nice to everyone and #remember their favorite color to spend 6 months knitting them the most perfect sweater they have ever beheld . u actually never cared if #they gave u anything back u just want like . basic decency . it would be enough if we could just sit together again . anyways fuck this .#im going to start barking and howling like a bad dog just to say i can do something wrong even when i know that it is

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