#me realizing charlie is happily dating a woman who's first answer to most annoying people is to reach for her spear

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: "I have to put my hoof down on this, I've got one hard rule- I am NOT going to date an active murderer."

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: "What if the stab wound doesn't kill them."

Charlie: "Depends."

Vaggie: "On?"

Charlie: "Did they attack first were they very rude are they an Overlord you need to distract so you can run was it an accident am I around to help or is this a potential life and death situation how nicely does the blood spatter accent your beautiful jawline did you say sorry afterwards-"

Vaggie: "Wait go back, what blood splatter thing."

Charlie: "I mean this is HELL so it's not that big a deal? We're pretty used to getting gore and bloodstains out of clothes- there's even a special washer setting for-"

Vaggie: "My jawline."

Charlie: "Mmm no I think kisses are better for that? Or licking."

Vaggie: "Licking?"

Charlie: "It works for cleaning too! Honestly Razzle and Dazzle might be onto something there, because- "

Vaggie: "Even when I'm spattered with blood?"

Charlie: "...."

Charlie: "maaaaybe"

Vaggie: "...that's not a huge incentive to avoid violence, babe."

Charlie: "Murder. I specifically said, try not to do MURDER. Murder isn't sexy."

Vaggie: "But if it's just a little blood dripping down my face-"

Charlie: "-THis topic! Is no longer safe for work!"

Vaggie: "Oh my girlfriend-"

Charlie: "T-TAKING MY TITLE IN VAIN ISN'T HELPING EITHER!!!!!!"