#me using a fluffy christmas prompt to indulge in some robert feels? more likely than you'd think

[softlass27]

may your days be merry and bright

Robron Week Christmas Special: Day 1 - Gift shopping

AO3 link here

“Robert.” Aaron tried to keep his voice stern even as the guilty look on his husband’s face made him want to snigger. He pulled off his coat and stepped further into the room. “This has got to stop.”

“It’s just a few bits.”

“I can see the size of the bags, you idiot, that’s more than a few bits!”

Robert sighed and released the door to the messy cupboard that he’d been desperately trying to force shut as soon as Aaron came home, letting the bags of presents spill out onto the floor.

“How many shopping trips is that now?”

“My meeting finished early, I just went for a wander afterwards.”

“I thought we said we’d got all Seb’s presents sorted.”

“We have but – ”

“We got everything on his letter to Santa, even that LEGO pirate ship I nearly had to fight that old lady for in Smyths.”

“I know but – ”

“And we’ve got him heaps more, he won’t be able to move for new toys on the big day.”

“I didn’t realise getting a few extra presents was a crime now,” Robert snapped.

Aaron blew out a frustrated breath. His husband had been tetchy for days now. Whether it was the stress of the festive season or something else, he wasn’t sure, but it was starting to get on his nerves.

“It’s not, but come on. If you carry on like this, he’ll end up spoiled.”

“Well if we can’t spoil him at Christmas, then when can we?”

“Okay fine, but how much is this even costing? If we go any more over budget on presents we’ll be havin’ nothing but sprouts for Christmas dinner.”

Robert’s eyes darkened. “I didn’t realise there was a spending limit on our son’s happiness.”

Aaron froze, taken aback by the sudden iciness in his tone. Up until this point, he’d thought the argument they’d been having had been a fairly mild one, more exasperated bickering than anything else. Now he wasn’t so sure.

“I – what? That’s not – what’re you even talking about?”

“Forget it.” Robert marched rapidly towards the door, grabbing his coat. “I’m going out.”

“Out where?”

“For a walk.

“Robert, hang on a – ”

He was cut off by the slam of the door. Aaron glanced between it and the pile of presents still on the floor, still not entirely sure what had just happened.

****

Robert came back an hour later. He edged in through the front door, head bowed and his tail between his legs. He stopped short at the sight of Aaron sitting on the rug, surrounded by wrapping paper.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he said quietly, gesturing to the pile of toys that Aaron had grabbed from the cupboard and was steadily working his way through wrapping. “I would’ve done it later.”

“It’s fine,” Aaron shrugged and stuck down another piece of sellotape. “Thought I’d get it out the way while Seb’s at nursery.”

“Fancy a brew?”

“Go on, then.”

He continued wrapping while Robert went to the kitchen, both of them silent until Robert came back and sat on the floor next to him with two mugs in hand.

“Here you go.”

“Ta.”

Aaron dropped the scissors he’d been using to take one mug, arching an eyebrow at Robert as he did so.

“So, a ‘spending limit on our son’s happiness’?” Robert’s face turned sheepish. “Bit dramatic innit?”

“Sorry, I know I was being a knob.”

“I’ll let you off – ” Aaron took a sip of tea. “ – as long as you tell me what the hell that was all about.”

Robert grimaced, but nodded in resignation. When he didn’t reply immediately, Aaron resumed his wrapping, deciding he might as well keep busy while he waited for him to gather his thoughts. Past experience had taught him it might take Robert a minute or two to start talking.

“Y’know,” Robert eventually said, clearing his throat. “The last Christmas we had with Mum before she died… ”

Aaron’s hands stilled for a second, surprised. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but it hadn’t been that.

“Yeah?”

“We were hard up that year. I mean, we were always hard up, always short on something no matter what season it was, but that Christmas it was especially bad. You know Jack Sugden, the man didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘savings’.”

Robert shook his head, looking unimpressed.

“So that year, Dad told us that there wouldn’t be any proper gifts. They got a few toys for Vic; since she was only little and still believed in Santa, they had to come up with something for her. But me and Andy had to go without, they couldn’t afford anything else. All we got were a couple of scarves and jumpers that didn’t even fit.”

Even now, Robert’s nose wrinkled in derision and Aaron’s mouth twitched. He could picture Robert’s teenage self turning his nose up at a poorly-made Christmas jumper in the same way he did now at some of the cheap clothes Aaron occasionally bought from Primark.

“It wasn’t surprising, I knew the farm was struggling and I was old enough to get that they couldn’t be spending money on presents when we were barely managing the rent. But I hated it, hated other kids at school picking on me for being poorer than them, hated knowing when we went back in the new year I’d have to pretend I got something cool when everyone started talking about what they got. So I was in a right sulk; even on Christmas morning I was miserable, drove Dad mad with my whinging.”

The sour look on Robert’s face suddenly dimmed, replaced with a faint smile.

“Then out of nowhere, Mum surprised me and Andy with a present. It was this new video game we’d both been dying to play – ”

“You wanted a video game?” Aaron interrupted him, holding his hands up when Robert shot him an exasperated look. “Sorry, carry on.”

“As I was saying. Andy thought Dad must’ve only been joking when he said we weren’t getting anything. That he was in on the surprise, y’know? But I knew better, I could tell by the look on his face that he'd known nothing about it. He was furious.”

“Because she’d spent money on you?”

“More like wasted money on us, in his eyes. I could hear them arguing about it in the kitchen; even when she told him she’d got it cheap, he still wasn’t having it. Whether he was more annoyed about her spending money or that she’d gone behind his back, I don’t know. Either way, she’d been so pleased with herself for managing to get ahold of that one present for us, but there he was ready to hit the roof. He had to ruin it, it was like he couldn’t help himself.”

Robert sighed and set his mug aside, leaning back against the sofa. Aaron abandoned the wrapping and joined him, their shoulders pressed together.

“He did calm down in the end, cheered up a bit and we had a decent day. It actually ended up being one of the best Christmases I’d have for a long time – not that I knew it then. But I didn’t forget how angry he’d been about something so small… and I knew I never wanted to be like him. I’d already decided I didn’t want to be a farmer, I wanted a normal job that paid well and massive flat in the city… and a flash car, of course.”

He shot Aaron a small grin, which he returned with a roll of his eyes. Some things never changed.

“I just wanted to be like everyone else. I didn’t want to have to worry about affording stuff like Christmas anymore, y’know?”

Aaron knew. For all he teased Robert about his expensive taste and love of shopping, his husband never failed to make sure they always put something in their savings account every month, and he was meticulous when it came to investments and budgeting. He always made their finances work even during the rainiest of days.

Aaron had once thought it was a lingering obsession with holding onto the wealth (and the power that came with it) he’d had with the Whites, but he knew better now. Robert liked the feeling of control and security that came with having money in the bank. He liked being able to provide, not just for himself but for Aaron and Seb, too. And for Victoria, Harry an Diane, if they needed it.

“Anyway, I almost forgot about that day, didn’t think about it for years. Maybe because it was the last one with Mum, I don’t know. Then Seb was born. And then a few weeks later it was Christmas and Rebecca wasn't letting me see him, they wouldn’t even let me give him the presents I’d got him and then I was hit by their flippin' car and – you know the rest.”

Aaron fought back a shudder. He didn’t want to think about that Christmas, that terrible Christmas when he almost lost Robert any more than he had to.

“I dunno why but when I was in hospital, I thought about Christmas on the farm again, remembered Mum giving me a video game and Dad being so damn resentful about it. I thought about a lot of things… ”

His gaze drifted away, eyes almost glazed over like he was seeing something Aaron couldn’t. He’d never quite known what Robert went through when he spent that Christmas in a hospital bed, but he did know that he’d never been quite the same after. Something in him changed forever.

“I promised myself that by next Christmas, I’d have Seb in my life. And that every year from then on I was always gonna find a way to to spend it with him – Whites be damned – and I’d always have presents to give him, make a fuss of him. No matter what was going on in my life, he’d never feel like I didn’t care or that I couldn’t be bothered or that – that he was an inconvenience. I wanted to make sure that when he got older and remembered Christmas, all his memories would be good ones.

“And then… when next Christmas came Rebecca had just taken him away to Liverpool. Yeah, we got to see him and give him presents the week after but it wasn’t the same, he wasn’t with us on the day and for the buildup, not like we’d hoped he’d be. And then the next year was the same and the year after that, and now this year… ”

This year, Rebecca was gone. She’d died in April and they’d suddenly become Seb’s sole carers once again – for good this time. Seb had been understandably quiet and withdrawn when he’d first come to live at the Mill full-time, and it had taken weeks – months – of showering with as much love and attention as they could to bring him back out of his shell. By the end of summer he’d almost returned to his normal happy self, so Aaron supposed they must’ve done something right.

“Now Seb’s here and he’s not going anywhere and it’s Christmas and I can finally keep the promise I made and – ”

Robert frowned and fell silent, biting his lip.

“And now the pressure’s getting to you a bit?”

“A bit.” His head lolled against the sofa so he was looking Aaron in the eye. “I’m overthinking, aren’t I?”

Aaron sighed fondly and kissed the space between Robert’s eyebrows until the deep lines there disappeared.

“You tend to do that.”

“I just need to get this right, I want it to be perfect for him.”

“It will be perfect. And not because he’ll be drowning in new toys – though I bet he won’t say no to any of them – but because he’ll be here with us, and Vic and Harry and Diane. Spending Christmas with the people who love you, that’s what really matters this time of year.”

“You been going to Charles’s sermons when I’ve not been looking?”

“Shut up. I’m just saying, you’re already going above and beyond to make sure he’s happy this Christmas, just like you’ve been doing all year. He’ll have those all good memories you want for him – we all will – so stop bein’ so hard on yourself, yeah?” He nudged Robert playfully. “For our bank account’s sake if nothing else.”

Robert smiled and nodded, slumping down so his head was resting on Aaron’s shoulder.

“Okay.”

They sat like that for a few minutes, before Aaron kissed Robert’s hair and gently pushed him away.

“Speaking of his lordship, it’s nearly pickup time.”

“Alright.” Robert got to his feet. “Why don’t I go? Give you time to finish wrapping and get all this stuff hidden before we get home.”

“Er, if you think you’re not finishing all this off yourself – ” Aaron gestured to the mess of half-wrapped gifts scattered on the rug. “You’ve got another think coming.”

“But – ”

“You bought ‘em, you’re wrapping them.” Aaron grabbed his coat and quickly kissed him goodbye. “See you in a bit!”

He could hear Robert’s grumbling all the way out the door.

****

Christmas morning in the Mill was a noisy one that year. Seb tore through his presents like a tiny whirlwind, shouting with delight at each one. The living room looked like a bomb site within the first 10 minutes but Aaron couldn’t bring himself to care, his son’s excitement too infectious. Robert was obviously feeling the same, if the dopey smile on his face while he watched Seb open his gifts was anything to go by.

“A kitchen!” Seb yelled at the kitchen play set he’d just unwrapped with Robert’s help. He leaned back against Robert’s chest and grinned up at him. “Daddy look, it’s a kitchen!”

He loved watching Robert cook and helping him bake in the kitchen, so they’d gotten him his own child-sized version, complete with a light-up oven and hob.

“Wow, you can do all your cooking with this, eh?” Robert pushed the box in Aaron’s direction with a smirk. “Another one for Daddy Aaron to put together.”

Aaron sighed at the Assembly Required sticker on the box and added it to the pile of toys he’d have to construct before Seb could actually start playing with them, before reaching under the tree to pull another present out.

“One for you,” he said, passing it to Robert.

They’d planned to exchange their own gifts once Seb had finished working his way through his, but he couldn’t wait any longer to give Robert this one.

Robert looked at him curiously, before taking the present from him and tearing away the wrapping paper. Once he caught a glimpse of what was inside, his mouth fell open slightly.

“Wait, are these – ?”

“Yep.”

Seb abandoned the new fire engine he’d been poking at in favour of wandering over to Robert, looking down at the present in his lap with interest.

“What is it?”

“They’re… video games, mate.”

“Classic ones, from way back when your dad was a kid,” Aaron said, leaning over to ruffle Seb’s hair before smiling at Robert. “They’re all ones that’ve been updated, remastered, whatever. I didn’t know which one your mum got you so I just went for a bunch of them and hoped for the best.”

As Seb lost interest and went back to his own presents, Robert turned each game over slowly. “God, I remember all of these.” He stopped when he got to the third box. “I think… yeah, this was the one.”

Aaron blew out a relieved breath. “Thank god for that.”

“And the rest are all ones I wanted but never got. I can’t believe you actually… ” Robert looked up and grinned widely at him, the dimples on his face almost childlike. “These are amazing, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Aaron grinned back and kissed him. “And you don’t even have to share them with Andy this time.”

“Best part about it. I’ll let you have a go, though."

Aaron laughed and gave his arm a light punch. “You’d better.”

“Dads!’ Seb shouted impatiently as he rummaged under the tree, apparently fed up of waiting for them to finish being soppy. “More presents!”