#me: 'stop making me think about rinezha'

[syl-stormblessed]

STOP making me think about rinezha. i can't do it anymore. enemies to enemies slow burn. enemies to begrudging allies to friends to *almost* lovers. then betrayal, and then they're just enemies who used to be in love. and they both *know* that they were in love, and maybe they are still in love, but they stand on opposite sides of a war because they've both made their decisions and cannot come back from them. there can never be reconciliation for the things they've done to each other, but god, they're still in love. i am literally eating drywall over them

[fagdykefriendship]

ppl on social media claim that tpw is “queer”. the only thing “queer” is the fucked up altan changan thing which is like pretty much one sided and mentioned once. stop trying to get people to read books by lying about them especially when the books are so good

i think part of it is the lack of romance in tpw is refreshing to me but to some people it’s not? so they’re trying to find romance in it like rinezha and changan and altan but like. ultimately, rin suffers alone. altan suffers alone. they are both broken, cruel people who are abused and also perpetuate abuse. nezha and changan want to be st their sides in ways that aren’t possible. (not to mention ppl discounting kitay and qara’s importance to the story when they try n make everything about potential romance)

[fangruninsimp]

Tempus Fugit

Rinezha | Enemies to Lovers, Angst | 1.3K words | Read on AO3

Summary: Conversations between Rin and Nezha throughout the entire Poppy War trilogy. Theirs has always been a relationship of love and hate, and the lines between the two emotions are weary and blurred.

Sinegard

I hate you.

I hate you more.

If we weren't in school-

You'd do what? Kill me?

I could.

I'd love to see you try.

Bitch.

Asshole.

Peasant.

Brat.

---

Trials

What was that?

What?

Your eyes… they went red.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I think you do.

I don't.

You could never beat me.

I think I just did.

I want to try again.

And I want to be the Empress of Nikan. Walk away.

---

The Invasion of Sinegard

Forget you hate me for a second.

Not an easy task, but I'll do my best. Cover my left?

If you'll take my right.

Duck-

On your left!

In front of you-

Get behind me!

No.

I have to do this.

Pull back. You fucking idiot, pull back.

Can't.

You can't beat him. Pull back.

Kill him while he's busy with me.

Stop it, NO-

---

Khurdalain

I thought you were dead.

I'm not. The blade missed my heart.

Thanks for the rescue. You came just in time.

I was only doing my job.

Mmhmm.

How are things?

We're still under siege. Altan says the Federation won't let up.

I was asking about you.

Oh. I'm doing fine.

Right.

You?

Fine.

Three years ago, did you think we'd end up here?

I don't know what I thought three years ago.

I'm sorry.

For what?

Everything.

---

The Seagrim

I thought you were dead. You were dead. I saw you die.

I'm not dead. It's okay. I missed you.

Don't ever do that again.

Alright your highness, I'll just avoid the gas attack next time.

Not funny.

It is to me. You're here. Everything's okay.

---

Arlong

Eyes up, general.

What? You look good in that uniform.

Yeah right.

It's true.

Where are we going now?

To the docks. I want to show you one of my pet projects before this war started: The Cormorant.

You really like boats, huh?

Of course. I grew up around them.

You could be captain one day.

I could. But what I really want to do is make the boats. Sand the wood, pull up the mast… I'd love to have a boat I built entirely by myself.

Really?

Really. Isn't this blueprint fascinating?

It probably would be, if I could understand it. What does that mean? Those numbers?

I could tell you all about it after the war. You- you could come stay at our estate. I'll even teach you how to swim.

Ugh. I'm good, thanks.

It'll be fun, I promise.

I don't know the first thing about swimming.

Would I let you drown?

I don't know, would you?

Not on my life.

---

Feylen

You can use your gift to help us!

It's not a gift. It's a monster. It took my brother.

We could raze cities. This war could be over in weeks.

It hurts.

You're a coward.

You have no fucking clue.

You think it's not like that for all of us? For Altan, for Suni, for Baji, for me?

Shut. Up.

If it hurts so much, why did you call it now?

Leave it.

Tell me.

You were in trouble, okay? I'd do it again.

---

After the Sorqan Sira

I thought you were dead.

Look how the tables have turned. Usually, you're the one who nearly dies.

Where were you?

North, with Hinterlanders.

How did you get back?

Boat.

Okay. You can explain later. You're home now. I missed you. I really did.

I… I missed you too.

Can I hug you?

Yeah.

Look - my chin fits on top your head perfectly.

Oh stop teasing, idiot. Just hold me.

---

Wine on the Tower

I feel like a god.

What do gods feel like?

Strong. Triumphant. All-powerful.

So what's next for Nikan?

I don't know. As far as I'm concerned, we should be planning for the next war.

Against?

Hesperians. Hinterlanders. There will always be enemies. But now, we have the advantage.

What advantage? Both of them have better resources than us, more numbers, better organization.

Shamans. We have shamans.

The Cike can't take on an army.

Then we'll have an army too. An army of shamans.

You can’t mean that.

Why not? Why shouldn't we defend our country?

You don't understand. Please.

I don't know what you're talking about. Calm down. It's just an idea.

Ideas can be dangerous. Very, very, dangerous.

---

Forest; Rooster Province

You look well.

I can't say the same for you.

Come with me. Come peacefully, and I'll see that you're treated well.

Fuck off. The only place I'm going with you is to your grave.

We used to be friends.

Friends don't stab friends in the back. Friends don't let their friends' friends be killed, executed like common criminals in the town square. Friends don't let their friends get chained up and whipped bloody.

I didn't mean for all that to happen.

We're not talking. You're nothing to me.

Have it your way.

---

The Inbetween

Before. The forest. I was unconscious. Why didn't you kill me?

I couldn't.

Why?

Same reason you're not drowning me right now, I suppose.

I could if I wanted to.

I know.

Fuck this. I love you.

I used to think I did too.

And now?

It doesn't matter. Leave it all behind.

If I could ever leave you behind, we wouldn't be here right now.

Goodbye. I hope we never meet again.

I wish we never met.

---

The Calm Before the Storm

I hate dealing with this shit. Talking to you. Thinking about you.

It's not too late. Surrender.

As if your Southern Province warlords would just let me live.

They would.

Why?

Because I'd ask them to.

You would?

For you. I would.

I can't.

I understand. I hate it, but I understand.

You always have.

I won't hold back on the battlefield.

It wouldn't be you if you did. And it wouldn't be me either.

Let's stop talking. Pass me the bottle.

I could never stop loving you.

I know.

To happy endings.

Those don't exist.

I know. I wish for them anyway.

To happy endings.

---

Speer

It's just you and me.

It's like the academy all over again, isn't it?

That was an age ago. And it feels like yesterday.

Time flies.

The Hesperians will never accept you. They can't stand the idea of shamanism. To live with them, you'll have to give up the Phoenix.

I will never.

Then you will be destroyed.

What would be left of me to destroy? Who am I without the god?

A lot of things. Smart. Brave. Kind.

Without the Phoenix, I'm nothing. The girl who might have been those things you think I am died a long time ago.

Reconsider. They'll want to see you dead, or locked up in a cell in their Grey Tower.

I know. That's why from here, this has to be you.

What do you mean?

I surrender.

I don't understand.

I'm ending this. I'm breaking the cycle.

What are you doing? I don't want the goddamn knife.

Take it.

No.

I love you too. I thought you should know.

What? Stop. Stop. I can't do this.

I can.

Rin-

Goodbye, Nezha.

---

---

After, after, after

I hate you. I love you more than you could ever imagine.

They say I should be glad I'm alive, but is it not the greater grief to be the only one left behind? I'm no stranger to grief; it's an old friend who visits often and lingers at shadowy corners and spider-webs. But I feel this like a knife to the gut, twisted and twisted right until the hilt; I'm bleeding my soul onto the floor and nothing can heal me now.

How could you leave? How could you leave me?

I told you that if I could do it again, I would do it all the same.

I lied.

I would fix everything. I would fix us.

Please come back. I need you.

Please? I'm so alone.

I never believed in anything divine. That was before I met you.

It hurts underneath my scars from when they tore me apart trying to get the dragon out of me. They'll keep trying until I'm dead, and for some time after that too. The pain - you made it better. But you're gone. How could you be gone?

Come back, come back, come back. How am I supposed to shoulder your legacy, how am I supposed to continue writing your burning, beautiful, wretched story?

I wish I'd never met you.

But I'll love you forever.

---

And that's a wrap! Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry not sorry in advance for the angst.