#meanwhile azula is on his heel as well

[flameo-firelord-hotman]

Part 3

Pairing: Zuko x Fem!Reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: panic attack

Words: 1.5k

Summary: to everyone she knew, [y/n] was a peasant, destined to be a servant just like her parents. To Zuko, however, she was his best friend. After losing his agni kai and being exiled, [y/n] was devastated. She thought she would never see him again. Three years later, she almost wished he never came back.

A/N: wasn’t quite sure how to write this part, and I’m not sure how I feel about it...but I’m just gonna post it anyway :)

Part 2 <- Part 3 -> Part 4

Series | Masterlist

This dark, dusty hallway seems to never end. It feels like I've been wandering for hours, yet it feels like no time has passed. It feels familiar, like a fragment of a memory, yet it feels fabricated. It feels like a lot of things, but I feel…nothing. It's so surreal, yet so natural.

I watch myself from above. My body is floating, light as a feather. Am I spirit? No. How do I know? I don't. But I can see myself right there, standing on the floor next to my friend. I think it's him. His face is a blur, but I can see just enough to be sure.

We're talking. Nothing being said makes sense, yet it all makes sense. He's getting closer to me. Now I feel something, an urge, a whim. He's leaning in, closer and closer, and…

[Y/n]’s eyes fluttered open. She was curled up under the covers of one of the guest room beds. It must have been late morning, because the sun was peaking brightly between the curtains.

For a second, everything was okay. Then, she frowned upon realizing what just happened. Kissing Zuko, what a dream. Really, it could never be a reality. Last night, when they got to the beach, him and Mai made up and got back together. They even kissed right in front of [y/n]. It hurt to watch.

Fortunately for her, they were returning home today. [Y/n] could forget about this trip and go back to living her normal, boring life, something she never thought she would miss. As she packed her bag, she once again thought of that moment from last night. The memory was burned into her brain. No matter how hard she tried to push it away, it kept coming back. And every time, she wondered if what she saw was real. She sure wished it was.

Even if he really did, he could’ve been acting in the heat of the moment. He probably would’ve regretted it afterward. Yeah...why would he kiss his best friend? And a commoner at that? And while he clearly still has feelings for Mai? That would be ridiculous.

[One week later]

Knock, knock, knock.

[Y/n] propped herself up on her elbows and wiped her groggy eyes. It wasn’t unusual to have visitors—her family and neighbors often did favors for each other—but it was rather early in the day for one.

“Just a second!” [Y/n] called out. She tossed the covers aside, quickly threw on a robe and put her hair up in a messy bun.

Damn, I was really hoping to sleep in today. I hope it’s not someone important.

She opened the door.

“Hello, [y/n]!” A teenaged boy in a regal tunic with a scar on his face stood before her. He smiled brightly and waved his hand. [Y/n] felt her heart skip a beat.

“Oh! Um, hi, Zuko,” she replied.

“I hope you don’t mind me stopping by,” Zuko chirped, “I thought we could hang out today, if you want. Your mom told me you have the day off.”

He wants to spend time with me? Just us? [Y/n] was delighted by the opportunity. Then, reality set in: Zuko was still dating Mai and only saw her as a friend. She couldn’t hold his hand, she couldn’t cuddle with him, she couldn’t kiss him, she couldn’t be with him the way she wanted. Clearly, [y/n] hadn't gotten over her crush. If she was going to continue being his friend, she would need to do so. She needed to give herself space.

“Um, I'd like to," [y/n] said slowly, "but...I don’t feel well today.” She placed a hand on her stomach to feign illness. The fact that she had just rolled out of bed helped her cause.

Zuko’s cheerful face morphed to one of sadness. “Oh, no. I’m sorry. Is there anything you need? I could bring you medicine or food.”

[Y/n] shook her head. “No, thanks. I have everything I need.”

“How about I brew you some tea?”

“Er, no, it’s fine. I just need rest.” She scratched the back of her neck nervously.

“Okay. Well, I hope you feel better,” Zuko said earnestly.

“Thanks. Maybe another time,” [y/n] said.

“Yeah.” He trailed off, nodding slowly as he backed away from her apartment. They said their goodbyes and waved to each other. [Y/n] closed the door and leaned against it. She dropped her head into her hands. Already, she regretted her decision. She wanted nothing more than to be with Zuko, even though she knew it would cause her heart to ache.

Why do I have to have a crush on him? Why can't I go back to liking him as a friend? I don't want these feelings. I just want our friendship, I just want what we had three years ago. I don't even know if I can be his friend anymore. It's ruining us. I just lied to him too. It was a stupid lie, but still, what kind of friend does that? Why couldn't I just say no? I’m so pathetic.

A few days had passed since then. Zuko didn't reach out to [y/n], and she didn't reach out to him. Once again, she was back to her day-to-day routine of things…somewhat. There was one day when all the residents on the main land had to be evacuated. [Y/n]'s mother said it was because Firelord Ozai was preparing for an attack during an eclipse, which would weaken our people.

When they returned, they saw the damage. The city's harbor had taken a serious beating, but the palace appeared to be okay. [Y/n]'s parents were quite relieved to know that they wouldn't have any extra work for themselves.

The day after they returned, [y/n] walked into the kitchen to eat breakfast. She saw a messenger hawk sitting on her window sill. Had Zuko finally reached out to her? She hesitantly untied the letter from the bird's leg and read it.

To: [Y/n] Summons Notice to Appear Your presence is required by his majesty Firelord Ozai immediately. Failure to appear in one (1) week will result in criminal charges against you and your family. From: Chief Advisor Xin

A bolt of fear struck [y/n]'s body. She froze. She backtracked the past several days and weeks, trying to think of what she could’ve done to warrant a summons. Nothing came to mind. Then, she wondered if her parents were involved in something treacherous. She couldn’t imagine them doing such a thing...perhaps they were being wrongly accused of a crime. Perhaps she was being wrongly accused of a crime. Her mind jumped to conclusions as rapidly as her heart was beating.

Finally, [y/n] broke free of her paralysis and fumbled for her things. She hastily headed to the palace. Breakfast could definitely wait. On the way, over and over, she begged and prayed to the spirits for her and her family’s safety.

At the palace, [y/n] approached the guards at the gate and presented the summons with shaky hands. They nodded, and one of them escorted her to the throne room. The guard slipped inside to announce her presence to Firelord Ozai. Meanwhile, she waited outside for permission to enter.

This would be her first time being in the presence of the Firelord, let alone talking to him. She was terrified to say the least. [Y/n]’s mom told her all kinds of stories about how scary he was. From the paintings she had seen before, his looks alone were intimidating. Her heart raced faster with every second she waited. Sweat coated her forehead and palms.

The guard returned, making [y/n] nearly jump out of her skin. He gestured for her to enter. And so she did.

The first thing [y/n] noticed was how warm the throne room was. It was massive and wide open with tall, ornate pillars outlining an aisle running down the middle. Straight ahead was the throne, where Firelord Ozai sat surrounded by large, hot, dancing flames. He wore a severe expression, looking just like he did in all those paintings. On his left sat a girl: Princess Azula. The seat on his right was empty.

Where’s Zuko? [Y/n] wondered, but only for a fraction of a second. That didn’t matter right now. She gulped nervously and approached the throne.

“F-Firelord Ozai. Princess Azula,” she shakily dropped to her knees and bowed. She had never felt so small before. “I received your message and came as soon as I could.”

“Why don’t I take this one, father?” [Y/n] gingerly peaked up to see Ozai quietly nodding to Azula. The princess rose from her seat and walked to [y/n]. [Y/n] slowly straightened up.

“Don’t be scared, [y/n]. We just want to ask you a few questions.” Azula patronized her.

“Have you seen or spoken to Zuko recently?” Azula inquired, pacing back and forth. Her heels clacked against the marble floor.

“Yes.”

“When?”

“A few days ago.”

She stopped and turned on her heels to further interrogate [y/n]. “What did you two talk about?”

[Y/n] nervously explained what happened when Zuko stopped by the other day. Azula sighed dramatically and pinched her nose.

After a long, suspenseful silence, [y/n] daringly asked, “Princess Azula...do you mind if I ask what this is about?”

Azula glanced at her with the side of her eye. "Well, since you asked, my dear brother, Zuko…he's been missing the since the attack."

Taglist (open!): @aangsupremacy @kaylove12 @celestialentitiesss

[thetpot]

I just read you 10 stories post and I never knew you wrote Once upon a play and inconveniences. For some reason I realy love Once Upon a Play since it is such a fun story! So I had a question, since I think that I can safely assume you won't finish any of your old work. How were all you old stories supposed to end? So inconvenieces, on the sands of time (which is also a good story but just never got that far), etc. And maybe even what happened with Aang and Zuko later in Once Upon a play, since being gay illegal was in the fire nation.

oh my god, i’m screaming that someone who read my old work found me. biting my fist and screaaaming. 

first of all, i’m glad you enjoyed them :) all those stories have big (huge, gargantuan, unavoidable!!!) issues but writing them brought me joy too. once upon a play especially was such a shitshow lmaoo, i was hammering out like 4000 word chapters a day and then doing the whole shitty “comment for an update thing” in the a/n. ew lol, anway :)

yes, it’s safe to assume i’ll never finish them. maybe i’ll adapt the concept for once upon a play and revamp it with more of an understanding of how ember island players was imperialist propaganda rather than just a cutesy fun play. something like: what might it mean for certain earth kingdom political figures, who perhaps were doing better under the fire nation (currying the fire nation’s favour by weakening the earth kingdom’s infrastructure), to leverage something outrageous like a play claiming the scion of the fire nation and the last airbender are in an illicit affair, and use it to weaken specifically zuko’s position back home and threaten to destabilize the peace. something along those lines.

i also quite like on the sands of time, but i’m iffy now on divorcing the characters from the world of atla and dropping them in some ahistoric middle eastern setting. i’d have to think long and hard on what kind of cultural and religious influences i want to include and what i want to ignore. it’s unlikely but if i was to work on any of them again, i’d pick those two. 

as for how they were going to finish (or at least what was planned next, because i did not used to entirely outline all my fics, i think that might be obvious on re-reading once upon a play especially lmaooo), some elements i wanted to explore in inconveniences was that toph and iroh had an existing friendship that aang and zuko didn't know about, big party at sokka and katara's house, shenanigans with jet at that party, zuko and jet finally ending their fling at some point. aang's central arc within that story was basically this (taken from an old zipped file in the depths of my google drive, i didn't even remember i had this anymore lol): aang is tired of the sheltered life has been forced to live under gyatso’s wing. dissatisfied with his life, he is convinced that the answer lies in the conventional teen life – in parties, girls and alcohol. almost everything he does throughout the course of the story is in an attempt to live life to the fullest, to find the key to making himself feel whole for the first time in his life. however, as the story progresses, aang realizes that the void in his life does not need alcohol or drugs or parties or girls to fill it. he realizes that the only thing lacking in his life may have been maturity on his part.

which is yaknow… some characterization? not  sure how i feel about it now, but at least, it's something lol.

as for zuko, he comes to realize the full extent of his disillusionment from life and considers that aang may be the key to fixing it once and for all. as the story progresses, zuko tries to find with jet the connection he feels with aang but is disappointed when he realizes that jet is nothing like the person he imagined him to be.

even though jet initially appears to only be a conventional villain, he is later fleshed out as we see that zuko is his safe zone, the only person with whom he relaxes. this connection, however, is negated by the fact that jet constantly does things to sabotage his relationship with zuko.

the thing about jet is interesting because it's more nuance than i gave him within the story in the first 8 chapters. i'm not convinced how well i would have been able to execute those layers of his characterization but yaknow, i guess it's nice to know i wasn't just trying to demonize him? i can promise you that i had no intention 11 years ago of extending even an ounce of that same nuance to the female characters, sadly.

anyway, the story was intended to wind down with aang being really reckless with his freedom, gyatso returning and aang needing to reckon with the fact that his actions have consequences (probably something to do with accidentally outing zuko since he treated his relationship with jet with a lot of disregard in the story, as far as i remember), and aang needing to repair his relationship with gyatso once he returns.

i'm iffy on the characterization of aang, looking back, but i won't say much on it coz it's a characterization, i guess? just not the one i'd go for if i was writing aang today.

as for on the sands of time, the next phase of the story would have been zuko realizing that azula is hot on their heels and separating from the group, realizing he cannot best azula on his own and so deciding to play double-agent with azula and string her along long enough to allow aang a chance of survival. azula and zuko would then chase them to the edge of the desert and gyatso dies before he can tell aang he is the avatar. to escape azula (and zuko), aang ends up bending both water and air. 

as per gyatso's instructions, aang, katara and sokka venture deeper into the desert and along the way run into suki and the kyoshi warriors (who guard the boundary deeper into the desert), jet and his pals (who guard a part of the desert with huge geoglyphs of animals in exchange for the spirits granting them reduced dependence on water and food) and also zuko as the blue spirit. as they progress through the desert, they are aided by two mysterious figures who seem to be aiding them (surprise, it’s zuko and azula because the ozai actually does want aang to end up at the spirit gathering, he just wants to engineer that arrival to exploit that spirit energy for... something?). 

end of the story, zuko and azula finally catch up, big fight between azula, zuko, the gaang, the freedom fighters and the spirits, and zuko almost dies. aang goes into the avatar state for the first time. and apparently, according to my bizzare notes, that's the end of volume 1 (?!!!). i literally forgot until this very moment that it was supposed to be a multi-volume story (lmao what). basically volume 1 was supposed to build this attraction between zuko and aang which comes to a head at the end of volume 1, when aang's distress at seeing zuko hurt activates the avatar state, and zuko nearly gets aang killed by revealing his hand to azula.

and then there's volume 2 (?! i still can't get over 12 year old me's ambition lmao). after the gaang and zuko flee from azula, both he and aang acknowledge their feelings for one another but iroh back in the white lotus is well aware that zuko is endangering the avatar because of his feelings and assigns someone else to protect the gaang.  zuko leaves without telling aang, but instead of recalling zuko back to the city where iroh is, he makes zuko stay in the same city where aang is. aang tracks him down and they run into each other constantly while aang masters earthbending, and tension builds between zuko and aang as they resist their feelings for one another. the major conflict of this volume is when iroh tries to assign someone else as aang's firebending teacher. shenanigans ensue, tension galore. meanwhile, azula moves in to attack the city and once again, zuko and the gaang run (definitely sensing some repetition here lmao).

and then i never outlined volume 3 because i was a moron - an adorably ambitious one, but alas, one lacking the discipline to write what i think was supposed to be a 150k+ saga (?!).

as for what comes after once upon a play, i can promise you i barely thought about what was going to happen next in that story, much less what would happen after it. 

anywho, i hope that answers your question :). it was nice to pull out my decade old notebook and realize i still had all these notes squirreled away somewhere lol.