#meryl my poor girl... :(

[kiaraalazulu]

stryfewood week day 1: accidental meeting

[vrronica-sawyer]

fan design for Stampede Milly to go with my stampede Meryl redesign

[nanomooselet]

I bet Nick thought he was going to be really cool about this.

Do the whole mysterious hitch-hiker thing, you know; climb into the truck, keeping quiet, staring stoically through the window. They'd ask questions and he'd barely react. Occasionally he'd say something really, like, penetrating and insightful.

Meryl ruins everything.

[trollgun]

yep

So, Orange is really going through the route I feared they’d go... Instead of Meryl telepathically seeing Vash’s memories of the July incident, they’re gonna make her witness it all firsthand... good Lord

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 6 Pt. 1

Ahhhh I have fallen behind... D,:

Anyways. My usual stream of consciousness stuff for my first read! Here we go! I'm sure things can only get better from here.

[All images in this post are from Trigun Maximum Volume 6.]

Meryl... :( She's not even in the bed, she's just sitting in a chair, as if she knows she won't be able to sleep well... or more likely that she can't fall asleep and she's been awake so long she dozed off in the chair... my poor girl somebody at her job give her compensation or like. Extended vacation days or something. Please. (Also how long do you think Meryl had to reassure Milly that she was fine before Milly lay down and got some sleep? Idk seems like something she'd do; try to stay up with Meryl.)

The entire conversation between Wolfwood and Meryl is really interesting to me. Firstly, Wolfwood trying to dig for why Meryl hasn't asked any of the obvious questions (because it doesn't seem like Meryl has told anyone what she saw) and just coming across as incredibly annoying for no reason ahdjfhjdbfv. But what's intriguing is even with the lack of real communication here, I feel this is a conversation of equals, despite Wolfwood's objective being to get Meryl to leave. Meryl's fear has little to do with Vash's transformation itself, but rather the implications of what he is and the very visceral and traumatic experiences that she is now privy to through the perspective of the person who suffered them. Thing is, even with Wolfwood lacking this info, he still notes something about Meryl's character without saying it outright that is 100% spot on - Meryl won't leave for herself. But she might leave for Milly. She has a strong sense of responsibility to her, and Wolfwood pulls on that, likely because it's something of a commonality they share. (However, I think Wolfwood does not fully see that Vash is included, as well as Milly, in Meryl's list of people she would do pretty much anything for... but that might involve Wolfwood having to like. Actually admit that Vash occupies a similar position for him in a personal and not just occupational way...)

[ID: Vash's hand holds Marlon's gun loosely. His index finger has released its hold on the trigger and is dripping blood. End ID.]

...oh yeah. He's doing well.

Vash: *on the tail end of a severely traumatic flashback and incident*

Also Vash:

[ID: Three images of Vash making a variety of silly faces. End ID.]

(Also I adore his snark so much. Vash's inner monologue has got to be so much snarkier than anything he says out loud. That whole "I won't say anything because I am polite but know that I am thinking very loudly about how much of a dick you are".)

[ID: A panel of Brandon Marlon in a cartoony style, mockingly throwing his hands in the air and saying "Ohhh, look at me! I fired a gun! Woow!" then switching to scowling and waving dismissively, saying "You can die and be reborn a thousand times and I still won't make a gun for a moron like you!" End ID.]

Oh my god. Someone who actually understands the responsibility that comes with distributing weapons. Brandon Marlon you are my new favourite minor character. Also you're so funny about it.

Meryl... she is so worried about him... :(

"His determination is stronger than the regret he carries." Augh...

Wolfwood having nightmares... Meryl having nightmares... it would surprise me if Vash and Milly weren't also having nightmares... there is only one solution. Group cuddle session under nice big blanket.

[ID: Vash sits, perched on the edge of a roof with a friendly smile. Behind him, the full moon with the crater is in full view against the darkness of the night sky. End ID.]

Oh. Hm. This is a choice. Very much echoes what Wolfwood was saying to Meryl earlier, that they both know "what kind of guy he is" (friendly, compassionate, etc.), but that he's also very dangerous... a "time-bomb"... :(

AUGH

Oh man. More of the "I know" "I know you know" FUCK. No way Vash didn't realize Wolfwood was pointing his gun at him.

God. Nothing Wolfwood does matters. It looks like he killed someone to save the kids, but they're not safe and it just guaranteed he couldn't go back to see them. He tried to kill Knives but was too freaked to follow through and ended up trapped obeying him. Knives is going to destroy the orphanage anyways no matter what he does, so all he's doing is stalling for time. Caring about Vash doesn't change anything - he's still doing exactly what he's been told to do. He's stuck. He's trapped. Somebody help him out please.

Vash has now canonically been referred to as "pretty boy". I mean we all knew but it's still funny.

[ID: Vash, aiming his gun, has his back turned to Wolfwood, who is crouched low and shielding him with the Punisher. The remnants of a wooden table are shattered across the scene. End ID.]

OHHHH this fight scene is GOOD. Back to back fighting! They automatically switched who they were facing off against AHHH

They both, without even a word, showed their backs and trusted the other to defend them. I. Ok. Ok. I'm cool.

Never mind apparently Milly is sleeping like a log shgjdfhbvjdfhb

The Legato and Elendira interaction is so funny. Knives' duo of worsties who hate each other and want to kill each other but settle for petty insults and whipping beverages in the other's face.

DOUBLE FANG??? OHHH???

Why is this boy Bane. He has Bane powers. What.

...Legato. Wtf happened to your tongue. Like I'd heard people talk about the tongue but I thought it's probably not that bad. Never mind. Eugh.

[ID: A set of panels showing street market vendors and their owners, selling their goods. Snippets of dialogue are heard: "Right here! Fresh meat! Just in today! Chicken! Beef! Pork! You want it, we've got it!" "It's always a concern. That's why I suggest this powder..." "We use ingredients as close to the original as possible." "Well? Doesn't that smell good? That's the very freshest tea." "It's really fantastic, madam." "My, that is good. You don't skimp on the sugar." "It's flammable, so be careful. Nah, just handle it the same way you would gasoline." Amid the conversation, a close-up of Knives' face reveals his eye, narrowed, bitter and distant. End ID.]

Ok. This set of panels gets me. There's so much ambiguity here. Knives is listening to the people enjoy the fruits of the labours of his sisters that humanity have been exploiting. The thing is... these things, a lot of them aren't exactly necessities. They're specifically engineering things to be close to what they had, which, while understandable (humans need enjoyment to survive. like that's real), it also begs the question of whether this kind of differentiation increases demand on the Plants beyond what is necessary for humans to take. Or maybe it doesn't. Maybe the differentiation is no more effort on the part of the Plants than the raw amount needed to live comfortably. It's hard to say, since we're seeing this through the filter of Knives' view, for whom any amount the humans take from Plants is too much. Anyways. It's interesting. ...I also think he looks painfully young in this panel, but maybe that's just me.

[ID: Knives stands before a headstone engraved with his name. He is just an eerily grinning silhouette, with his weapons curled and hooked over his head like a set of bladed wings. End ID.]

He is proud of his artwork. (Sorry lol)

"This Plant is going to be retired." <- uh. yikes. Way to avoid saying she's going to die.

"Deliberately go out of control" so wait. I'm confused. The Plant is going to go out of control at the end of her life cycle and they're harvesting what was going to happen anyways, or they deliberately push her to that point so that she goes out of control? What's happening here.

Hm. An angel arm type thing formed from what looks like her stomach... or maybe womb? I don't know but that's... hm. It's like it's their core or something. Like a reactor core. If that's the case then it being forced out of Vash like that is even more disturbing.

Her hair turned black. No. No hold on. Oh no.

[ID: A close up of Knives' face. His eyes have gone blank and lines from his Plant abilities are etched on his cheeks. End ID.]

Ohhh... remember how the blank eyes seem to show severe distress...? :(

Noooo oh my god. It's so much worse. Knives has been inadvertently killing Vash every time he activates his powers. AUGH

Local man just wanted to enjoy his noodles. Unfortunately his buddy is a trouble magnet and he keeps getting interrupted. Will he ever have the chance to finish his noodles in peace? hdjvbhdfvhjb

So Vash has been sneaking off to day drink apparently. Holy crap that panel is disturbing. Also it hurts me. My poor boy... :(

"Needle-noggin-isms" I'm screaming

Oh god he's so off in this fight. He's... he's actually drunk, isn't he...?

!!! Holy shit Vash's Plant abilities saved him automatically.

Oh fuck off with these people.

AUGH MERYLLLLL

I am in so much pain. Haha. Ha.

Ok ok but - does anyone other than Meryl know that she saw everything? Because Vash was totally out of it in that scene - it's not like he meant to transmit those flashbacks. I don't think anyone knows the full extent of what Meryl saw. So, when she has a panic attack and flinches away from him... he completely misunderstands. He thinks it's because she sees him as a monster; that she's scared of him. But that's not true! Meryl has done nothing but be concerned for him! And yes, it was terrifying, and yes, she's scared, but she cares about him! As a person! But I think Vash perceived this as a rejection. And all he can do is apologize. (Augh and the parallel to Hoppered and the woman with the blinded eyes who panicked when being touched...) STOP THIS NOW THIS HURTS

The little kid defending Vash... not old enough yet for fear to overtake reason... :')

I feel like Elendira is just here to see how things go down. She's here for a good time, not a long time.

TESLA MENTION.

Rem is so silly. <3

Baby Knives wants so badly to be liked and accepted... augh.

The contrast between "Do you think we can become friends with them?" and "Yeah... it might take a lot of effort though." Ooh. Many thoughts.

[orcelito]

after this

the chapter then ending on this

has me big time feeling like. this.

[myfinalform-kaz]

The mischaracterization of trigun characters in fanfic just irks my soul. Like ppl who portray Vash as poor kicked puppy boy who's never felt a drop of anger in his life like no! That guy nearly loses his absolute shit anytime he witnesses ppl hurting each other, like the amount of times the memory of Rem is the only thing that holds him back from absolutely decimating someone is not talked about enough. Also Meryl being the groups emotional guide??? That girl avoids other people's feelings faster than mouse runnin from a cat, she has no intention of sticking around for tough emotional conversations. Also give Wolfwood his silly!!! He is a silly man with a soft spot for kids and a hard ass attitude for blonde idiots!

[revenantghost]

Heyo, let’s talk about my girl Meryl and why she’s so critical to the plot of Trigun Stampede and Vash in particular! (Well, that’s true for any Trigun, but Tristamp theories are rotting my brain atm.) Some spoilers for Tristamp and vague talk/references to the other series ahoy!

Meryl gets way too many accusations thrown at her for doing nothing/not enough in Tristamp. To the point that I started a rewatch to see if I was misremembering, but absolutely not! Those first three episodes alone, she’s critical to how things develop! She’s a foil to Vash, just like Wolfwood is!! She’s essential to his humanity!!!

But it took until I was watching ‘98 for the first time this weekend for it to crash into me like a freight train exactly what Meryl means, just like it took Trimax for the full weight of Wolfwood to click into place for me. Because she’s set up a lot like her older anime counterpart (though no one gets the same amount of character interaction—Tristamp, I adore you, but please slow down and let these poor folks breathe). She doesn’t understand Vash at first, she even goes so far as to call him a coward in a really low blow for what she easily recognizes as his bravery (and sometimes stupidity) later. And while they both (well, pretty much all the Trigun protags, let’s be honest) share their bullheadedness, I see a lot of people say she’s just like Vash... And I disagree, sorta.

She’s just like Rem. Just look at that last episode.

The two women don’t have the same belief systems, they have wildly different paths, and they come into Vash’s life in incredibly different ways. Meryl may keep Vash in check sometimes, but she’s not a mother figure imo. But they still play a similar role.

After over a century of traveling alone, we see (especially in other versions of Trigun) that Vash is often used and abandoned. Even when he makes genuine friends, they let him drift in and out of their life—and to their credit, he’s good at that! He can’t handle any more pain, so he slips away before the hurt catches up. But not Meryl! She ain’t gonna let that happen!!! At first, yeah, she follows him because of her job, but it never takes her long to go from frustrated and fed up to growing fond of Vash. And I especially love the career shift in Tristamp allowing her a complete out, to walk away and abandon Vash when things get rough, and no one would blame her for it.

But she stays. Because she sees that he’s good and worthy of the love that he denies himself. She sees this vile, hopeless world that they live in through his eyes, and sees the beauty in it too. She’s the first person to have faith in Vash not just as a savior, but as a person—unlike anyone has since Rem.

When all hope is gone, when Vash has lost his way, when he stumbles and falls, Meryl—who starts off doubting him!—is the one there to pick him up and remind him that he’s loved, that his love for humanity isn’t for nothing. Throughout the entire series, she has faith in him. She chooses Vash even when he won’t choose himself. She’s tired and done living in this selfish world of awful people, and she becomes the anchor that ties Vash down to what’s good in humanity. She’s just as critical as Wolfwood in taking a distant, disheartened, and broken Vash and reconnecting him to a world that cast him aside. And we’ve already gotten so much of that in Tristamp. It’s most obvious in the ending, but it’s built up so beautifully imo. She’s not as flashy as our fighters YET, but she’s absolutely essential to Vash, and I will die on this hill. I can’t wait to see her come crashing back into the picture with Milly next season.

[rmorde]

Trigun Manga Reaction

Starting off with Volume 1 - Chapter 1

I will always love Meryl's design. She is one of the most memorable female characters from my childhood. My most distinct image from Trigun 98 is Meryl showing off all her derringers from her coat. I love her and Milly a lot.

So, these two images make me giggle.

Ok. I have to do a double take here.

Is the Note: Staunch Pacifist here a "break the fourth wall" type of situation or an actual info people in the story know? Hmmm... from the animes, it doesn't seem to be common knowledge that Vash doesn't like to fight. People kinda shoot first and never ask later with him. I guess the many zeroes in his bounty just wipes off the "staunch pacifist" info from their minds or they think it's just a twisted joke to ignore.

AAAWWWW BABY!!!!

BABY NOOOO!!!!! He was just happily eating steaks!!! This is far more cruel than a ruined drink or hanging upside down!

Sigh... Really... Vash... Just really?! I guess Badlands!Vash isn't too OOC when he pulled this stunt then he's still weirdly horndoggy there ngl.

That's a nice nightmare face. Did Nightow ever make a serious horror?

Maybe I am just being weird here but this panel is really interesting because of the lack of details on this big guy threatening Vash. From his chest and below, with the exception of his hand holding the gun, there is nothing. He encompasses about three-quarters of this half page panel like a really big wall.

I guess the composition is supposed to show how he is trying to dwarf Vash. It doesn't work obviously since Vash looks so still and detailed in contrast to him. Idk. It's just how it comes across to me.

Pouty Baby.

Classic Vash.

Aah... The faces of people wondering how they shouldn't be alive anymore, but they still do because the scary Humanoid Typhoon decided to use a toy gun to shoot them in their faces twice.

Baby Girl. You should be in Sailor Moon.

Baby Gremlin Girl.

Clever Gremlin Baby Girl Vash The Stampede

Wait... FOUR?! FOUR PIZZAS?!!

Oh poor TriStamp Vash. He got hit by inflation hard. He can only get 2 pizzas with his one bullet!

Ok. So the Plants design from '98 are closer to the manga. TriStamp is new.

Oh my my my...

THE BADASS LADIES ARE HERE IN ALL THEIR GLORY!!!

Peak designs I swear. I mean. TriStamp Meryl's design is cute, but it is nothing compare to this beauty!

Remember this exchange from the '98 anime. Didn't really understand it until I got older and realized on hindsight what these assholes really meant. Ewww.

I wonder if, with how sensitive certain groups of people nowadays, these dirty lines will still get past the radar when localized or be changed altogether.

Oh... This is slightly different. Milly did understand what they meant and reacted to it unlike in '98 where she is just innocently confused.

This will always be iconic for me alongside Meryl's Derringers reveal. When I think of Trigun, these are two of the four images that come to my mind.

Oh... Oh... So, this stuff happens to Vash during the first chapter. I guess the animes are a bit more merciful that they have this happen after a few episodes at least.

Sigh... Whenever I have a bad day, I'll just think Vash has it worse. At least I get to fix my mistakes in peace and with help unlike him... Poor baby girl.

[pennyserenade]

IT’S NEVER OVER 

pairing: dieter bravo x you, dieter bravo x reader rating: mature (no explicit sex but language and content is 18+ regardless)  tags: fluff/comfort, some angst but just a little word count: 2.5k+ summary: dieter asks you to go to the opening night of his play and you do. for this he rewards you handsomely. a/n: this was the most fun i had writing in a very long time and i want to thank all of you who encouraged this in me. i love u & i hope you enjoy ex-husband dieter as much as i do <3

For most, divorce is definitive, final. It’s the last act that two people make as a couple, signing their names on a piece of paper that divides their lives the same way the marriage certificate connected them. If Dieter was any other man, it probably would’ve been that way for you, but Dieter is Dieter; he marches to the sound of his own drum. 

You aren’t obligated to him, but sometimes he asks you to do things and you say yes like you are. Your five year marriage bore no children — a willful decision on both your parts — and you never felt it was fair to do something like get a dog, because even on the best days you knew you would’ve only done it to cope with being lonely in a relationship you shouldn’t be lonely in. So there’s no reason at all that you should still keep in touch with Dieter, but you do. Five years of marriage and three years of dating before that bonded you to him. You’re used to him. Comfortable.  Maybe even achingly in love—but in a more platonic shade than before. 

On Sunday of last week, he had asked you to attend the opening of his play and you had said that you would. He told you he’d set two tickets aside for you, in case you wanted to bring someone, but you didn’t. You can see the relief in his eyes as you make your way to him. The throng of actors that occupy the backstage area make it hard to get to him, as they all seem to want him, but the moment he sees you, he parts the sea of them for you with his own self. He meets you somewhere in the middle. 

“You made it,” he says quietly, “I know you said you would but, you know….I don’t know.” He shrugs, smiling. 

You kiss his cheek. “You did great tonight, kid.”

“God, I’m glad you came.” Dieter brings your body in for a hug and you let him, taking in his scent and feeling a wave of comfortable nostalgia. His voice betrays his anxiety and you hold onto him a bit longer than you should because you know he gets. Even after his best performances, he was always plagued with self doubt and worry. That’s why you came tonight. 

‘We’re all so vain, actors. I can’t get over myself,’ he had told you once, on a night much like this one. And he was right, you came to find: Dieter really could not get over himself. But you don’t hate him for it anymore. He wears it anxiously tonight, that strain of vanity. It’s not like the bad times. You even feel the desire to hold his hand. 

He lets go of you when a woman to the right — the girl who played his girlfriend in the play — taps him on the shoulder. She is a beautiful young woman, about ten years his junior. “Who’s this?” she asks him, smiling. 

“My wife.” He responds. As soon as he says it, you get an idea of just what he’s been doing to prepare for this play of his. The woman tries not to let her face fall, but you know from experience that Dieter could make even Meryl Streep break character with his nonsense. You touch her arm and say, “I’m his ex-wife and you did a very good job tonight. I don’t make it to many plays anymore and it was a real pleasure to see this one.”

The woman relaxes visibly. “Thank you. I’m glad you liked the show. I was just coming to tell Dieter how lovely he did.”

Dieter stares at her like he doesn’t know what to do with her. This poor girl, you can sense how much she doesn’t understand him. He can’t get over himself, you want to tell her, just to assuage the fear you know too well. But then he smiles - a genuine smile - and he tells her he couldn’t have done it without her. 

And it makes you mad, and then sad, and then unsure if you know him either. You don’t meet with Dieter often because this happens at least once every time; you think you know every bit of him and then some part of him has changed, been made better, and you wonder bitterly “Why couldn’t you have done that for me?”

Tonight it passes quickly. He touches the small of your back and brings you closer to him than to the woman he’s very obviously fucking. She sees this. You see her see it and you watch as he doesn’t get it all over again. 

“I’ll see you later, then,” she manages, before disappearing back into the crowd of celebrating actors behind you. 

Dieter watches her go, brows creased. He hums. “Hm.”

You click your tongue. “You ought to be ashamed.”

His dark eyes shift towards you. “I’m positively mortified. Trust me.”

“Good. You’ll apologize to her?”

“I’m in the habit of it these days. Better than I used to be.”

“I’m glad. You can be—“

He cuts you off, “A bit of an ass. I know. I get real neurotic on opening nights. I hate them.”

“Are you going to the after party?” You straighten the tie of his costume instinctively. You don’t get embarrassed by the act once you realize what you’re doing.  Dieter doesn’t make you feel like you ought to be. 

“Thank you,” he says, “But no. I know you don’t like those things and I wanted to see you tonight. Please don’t get mad but—“

“Dieter.” You scold him preemptively. 

“—but I bought out the movie theater. That one we used to go to. I know you said doing things like that isn’t fair to you but you said that like, three years ago, and I promise I’m not trying to fuck you or anything. I mean, if you want, I’m not saying I wouldn’t but that’s not the purpose.” He pauses, then says, “Ignore that last part. I didn’t mean it that way. I wouldn’t have sex with you, but I wanted you to know that I still think you’re good looking and would if life had been different.” 

He looks at you expectantly and you feel the will in you fall away. “What if I had a date?” you ask, ignoring his ramble for his own sake. 

Dieter shrugs. “I guess I would’ve asked him if he—“ He watches your face “—or she? If they liked James Stewart.” Someone bumps into you, pushing closer, into Dieter. He grabs your shoulders to steady you. “Do they like James Stewart?” he asks. 

You shrug him off, shaking your head. “I like James Stewart.”

“I know you do. Mr. Smith Goes To Washington.”

“That makes me cry.”

“I know it does. But that one’s your favorite.”

“But you like Rope better.” 

“I like you and I wanted to do something for you.” When he says that, he looks ahead of you, at the people crowding around you. He’s avoiding eye contact, knows he shouldn’t have said it but he couldn’t help himself. You’re not angry with him. You pat his hand affectionately so he knows it. 

“Thank you. Sometimes it’s nice to know I’m liked and remembered.” 

He looks at you incredulously. “You’re kidding me.”

“Absolutely. I know you’re too fond of me and always will be. It gets me by.”

This makes him laugh. The sound of it makes you grin. “Let’s go.” Dieter tugs on your arm, nodding his head to the direction of his dressing room. “I’ll get undressed and we can head to the theater.”

You shake your head. “I’ll meet you by my car when you’re done.”

His eyebrow furrows, then he realizes. His face falls, and you know you’ve hurt him with the implication. 

“I have no interest in hurting some girl tonight, Dieter. She’s bound to be watching and I’d rather save her a little bit of heartache than turn my back to the wall while you get undressed.”

He frowns, but nods his head. “You’re too good for me, you know? I wouldn’t make you turn your head, though. You've seen it before and I’d like to think it looks mostly the same.”

“I know I’m too good for you.”

He clicks his tongue this time. “Give her an inch and she takes a mile,” he says as he disappear through the crowd. You hear the joke in voice even if you can’t see his face. 

You watch the back of him for a moment.

As you make your way to the car, you smile more genuinely than you have in a few days. Despite yourself, you love him immensely and you know he loves you too. It feels nice, even if you make a joke of it. He’s family to you. Not a husband, but a friend. 

He was always such a good friend. 

———

“Oh, kid.” 

James Stewart’s young face, wasted away with exhaustion, and his voice hoarse from desperation, never fails to make you cry. He stands in front of his piles of fan mail and is so damned earnest in the face of evil, it makes you ache. Dieter used to think that this movie was too sentimental, but you wore him down over the years. He sniffles now too when it gets to this scene, but nothing like the pitiful sobs you let out. 

He hands you a napkin and you wipe your eyes. You watch intently as Jimmy collapses onto the floor from pure exhaustion. You let out another sob the same time as Jean Arthur calls out to Jimmy. You hear Dieter’s soft laughter and you know you’re ridiculous, but you can’t help yourself. He knows this is how you get when you watch this. 

“God, this movie.” You shake your head and wipe your nose. 

You watch the rest of the movie in silence — or at least, without acknowledging your cries. When the movie ends and the soft hue of lights crowns over the empty theater, you turn to Dieter and sigh. He’s a little red in the eyes too, you note, but he looks at you in pure delight. There’s a fondness to it, though, so you let him live. 

“I can’t believe you used to think that was too sentimental.” You shake your head, huffing, getting angry at this younger Dieter. “That was so—that was acting!”

He holds his hands up in defense. “I know! I don’t think that now, you know? I think it’s good.”

You scoff, still infuriated with the Dieter that had told you this was the worst of Jimmy’s works. “You said it was American propaganda!”

He laughs. “I was trying to sound clever. I was too serious of an actor at the time. I’m sorry for having committed that crime many, many moons ago.”

You shake your head, letting the last of your tears fall. “I’m heartbroken.”

Dieter laughs. “But it worked out in the end. I can’t understand why this movie breaks your heart.”

“Because he had to fight so hard.”

Dieter softens. “That’s right,” he tells you, handing another napkin over, “I forgot about that—about why it breaks your heart.”

“It’s silly but I can’t help it.”

“It’s not silly. I married you for things like that. I loved those things. I love them now. I couldn’t remember why I liked watching this with you so much until now, but that’s exactly it. Because he fights so hard it makes you cry.” He squeezes your hand and the casualness of those words hit you straight in the gut. You’re glad to already have cried violently because if you haven’t, you’re certain that would’ve made you. 

“I’m gonna die, I’m so sad.”

“Do you want to get high? Will that help?” 

You shrug, blowing your nose. “I haven’t in a long time.”

“I brought a pen.” 

You debate it for a moment. “I shouldn’t.”

“Alright, but we’ve got this theater all night.”

“All night? I thought you just got it for this movie.”

He nods. “I did, but they don’t let you buy the whole movie theater out for just one showing. Not for me anyways, but I don’t care because I used to sneak into movies when I was younger here and this feels like a kind of karma.” That makes you laugh and he claps his hand. “The cloud is lifting. You’ll make it out alive after all.”

You lean back in the chair, wiping away the rest of your tears and most of your makeup. You sigh. “I care just like he does, don’t I?” You look at Dieter. 

“It’s so human of you, don’t change it. Please.” He takes your hand in his. “I always wanted to tell you that, that you care just like that, but I knew you’d take it wrong when we were married. We used to fight all the time for really stupid reasons. But it’s different now.”

“We’re friends.” You look down at your linked hands. 

“In a fashion, sure, but I like to think we’re more too.” You quirk your eyebrow. “Not like that—like lovers or whatever, but I don’t know. I know you get it too. You can probably explain it better than me.”

“Oh.” You smile and crinkle your nose. “We’re friends,” you repeat. This time he nods his head. “Yeah.”

You both fall into a comfortable silence. You sit with that knowledge. 

“Thank you,” he says suddenly. 

“For what?”

“For keeping me in your life. That was honorable of you. I don’t deserve it after the way I treated you during our marriage.”

You wave his words away. “Marriage brought out the very worst of us. This is the best of us. What we did to each other then, I don’t think it’s a reflection of who we are.”

“Yeah but I did the most damage. I know that. I left you alone a lot.”

The pad of your thumb rubs the back of his hand and you watch it as it does, as if you’re not in control of it. “Maybe you did. But it’s finished. We stopped that battle a long time ago and we’re in the clear now. You’re nicer, kinder.”

“I should’ve been all that then. I really loved you.”

“You really love me now. That’s enough for me.”

Dieter reflects. Then he says, “In another life, I’ll find you again and I’ll do it right.”

Giving him back his hand, you shake your head. “I think we’re doing just fine in this one. I think this is where we were meant to be. This is the kind of love that we do the best with.”

“You don’t miss it, the way we used to be?”

“God, all the time, but it was never like this.” 

“I guess you’re right. We do get along better. I don’t feel like I disappoint you anymore.”

“You don’t. Tonight is the most fun I’ve had in weeks, and I even cried my eyes out.”

He smiles softly. 

“You want to know something?” you ask him. He nods his head. “Nothing in the world makes me feel better than knowing you want me when I’ve got nothing to give you but my friendship. Men don’t want women like that.”

“I’ll always want to be your friend.”

“Then you will be,” you respond, “In the next life too. I promise.”

[lost-technology]

I was alerted to Trigun Fanfiction Appreciation Week! I have recs! It's Cinco de Mayo and I am full of tacos. Let's roll! Roleswap The Purple Hyacinth bouquet of stories by @somereaderinblue Summary: A universe in which Vash was born as the first Independent Plant and it is Tesla and Nai who are the twin-siblings. Other characters switch roles as well - Luida and Rem, Livio and Wolfwood, each retaining their unique selves. The symbolism of the purple hyacinth and little details like Tesla's love of lemon-cake really make this. Tesla is a rougher kind of heroic desperado, being more nuanced, rougher and less absolutist than Vash, making for an amazing ride. (The first tale, centered on Luida and little Vash, though, will break your heart). Canon-typical violence and abuses of children and science. General AU Sun, Moon and Stars by @tragic-unpaired-electron Summary: At a crucial moment, Rem does something crazy to save baby Tesla and the entire universe changes. What follows is the saga of the Saverem family - mothers, daughter, sons, a more hospitable planet, but not without social and political challenges for Plants to gain legal personhood. This had me hooked like a thrill ride, beginning to end. One of my absolute favorites in the fandom. Each and every character has a realistic, organic change stemmed from this one pinpoint. (Nai doesn't go genocidal for example, but has points where he could have gone dark and has reasons to choose a better path). Treat yourself and read this! Canon-typical violence. Conrad being particularly a bastard. For my fellow Rem-enjoyers Out Cold by Miricals Summary: Vash, Wolfwood and the girls find themselves sheltering in an old crashed escape ship they found with coldsleep capsules still running on half-dead solar power. Guess who they find. Some sadness with unnamed characters' deaths, otherwise no warnings. Accidents Happen by exai_lostjune Summary: Set in the 1998 anime / first anime only. Rem finds out that crewmate Steve has been beating her kids, not just being bigoted in speech. She beats his ass with a crowbar. That's it, that's the fic. Little Plant Twins get protected by their Mama Bear, Steve gets what he deserves. In-Series / Main Timeframe Let the Ransomed be Free by SpiritusRex Summary: Wolfwood and Meryl impersonate a pair of rich-bitches to get into a auction attended by all of the planet's worst billionaires. Their mission? To find an extract a certain Vash the Stampede, who is up on the auction block as a slave to the highest bidder. Shenanigans ensue. Canon-typical violence / un-fun use of a cattle-prod on our poor Vash. Just Follow My Yellow Light (And Ignore All Those Big Warning Signs) by haveloved Summary: In the aftermath of Vash getting hurt, Wolfwood notices that Meryl hasn't eaten. Milly usually helps her remember to eat. Just a little story about self-care and others-care. Canon-typical violence. WTF? Aaaah! Why did someone write this? / are people going to look at me weird for reading this? Aaaaaaaah! Horror. Sin Eaters by @dragonofeternal Summary: There is an old tradition Vash read of once wherein a ritual meal is consumed to absolve the sins of the deceased. Livio, however, was Wolfwood's first friend and does not intend on letting Vash dine alone. BIG WARNING HERE! This was written for Trigun Body Horror Week. NOT for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach! While I think this is the best story to come out of Trigun Body Horror Week... it is... just that. This one's for gore-fiends - outdoes canon.

[needle-noggins]

I wanted to point out this page alone because I just really love the idea of Meryl and Luida as foils. Also I just really want to bang a bunch of pots together like, LOOK AT THESE WOMEN THEY ARE WRITTEN SO WELL AND I LOVE THEM SO DEEPLY!

Luida is a character archetype I really adore (one of my dnd NPCS/basically an OC at this point is just. Wizard Luida). Love an older woman in charge who has some internal struggles but exercises empathy and careful judgement. Meryl is... a baby in comparison. The kind of girl, adventurous and a bit headstrong, who may be changed into someone more like Luida with hard lessons and deep self-reflection. I don't know. Maybe I'm just talking out of my ass at this point.

This conversation is... difficult. Luida is considering having Vash use his angel arm to destroy Knives, to have another July (to which, poor Meryl is like "god the horrors are endless. I saw how that went"). She hates that she even considers it, hates the idea of Vash being a weapon of mass destruction just to take down Knives (ethics of using atomic bombs, anyone?). It is especially hard for her to consider because "this battle with undoubtedly push his limits". Vash is still a friend (and if we want to get Stampy with it, like a son to her), and she knows this could kill him.

Luida scolds herself for being a coward, and I'm not sure in what way - is it cowardly that she won't sacrifice people for the "greater good", or that she's having this internal struggle in the first place? That she won't make Vash pull the trigger?

I forgot to screenshot the panels about it but there's also a very important topic in the conversation preceeding this page about how Vash has been fighting alone, trying to save everyone, but perhaps he needs people to fight for him too. Vash is obviously well-known around Ship 3 as an incredibly powerful plant, so I can understand if they believed him when he said he could take Knives alone, but Luida is now having doubts about Vash's independence - is he too afraid to ask for help? (this is a secret tool that will help us later! Remember that Meryl is here to hear this!)

Using this thread of thought, Luida and her forces attack the ark, which allows Wolfwood to rescue Vash (and then we get the SUPER COOL bit of Vash reversing his angel arm to allow them to escape! and the fall out of the sky! OUGH). It's about the teamwork, it's about helping each other. No one can fight alone. (and then idiot Wolfwood leaves Vash to let him fight Knives alone) (we can already tell this is a bad idea)

[magadauthan]

Ep 9: Murder Machine

Aaaaand now for the @trigun98watchparty, we get into what makes Trigun, Trigun. Come for the dumbassery, stay for the trauma.

Cue the entrance of Nicholas D. Wolfwood, wandering priest, and his gloriously bare chest.

--Vash can dish out the whining, but he can't sure take it. Milly is the champion, as the baby of the family. "Pay for our bus fare or I'll hate you! and btw can I have ice cream?"

--oh my lord, Meryl, you are so mean to that poor man. Punch count: 3; insult count: 2 - and then you and Milly steal his water.

--WW's Kansai accent is usually coded in English as Southern. It's probably a good thing the dub didn't tackle that, because it would have been distracting, but wouldn't WW with a Boston or a Chicago accent have been amazing? Come on, the Blues Brothers are right there! (hmmmm... there are an awful lot of similarities between Elwood and Wolfwood...)

--Ah, the portable confessional. Add another notch to the "items seen once and never again" tally.

--Boob shot!

--WW's cold read regarding Vash's empty eyes and hurting on the inside is less impressive when you consider that he has more information than he lets on.

--look at his stupid dress shoes, Tristamp nailed that shit, didn't they lol

--"Why doesn't anything nice ever follow you?" F*ck around and find out, Meryl

--"Did we just become best friends?" "Yep!"

--even the kid thinks you two are a couple of dipshits, seriously

--All of this worthlessness is what Tristamp was missing. Vash and WW have to have adventures where they shoot things, get into trouble, and insult one another. This is what's called "male bonding."

--This is one of the clearer looks we get at how the Plants do their Plant Thing. Push the button and a spider robot comes out. Um, okay. Guess that one was less useful than the Tuna Fish Plant or the Canned Salmon Plant.

--Why was it left behind again? Aren't Plants irreplaceable?

--Vash has a pretty good idea that WW's full of shit and takes a risk on him anyway. He knows how to force a hand.

--they're so cute as a team, aren't they lol

--And there's the second gun. don't ask about Knives' third gun lmao

--Milly gets to be best girl again. WW does take a shine to her right away, doesn't he. That, and he probably thinks it's amusing to make Vash and Meryl sit together. It's so third grade. (it's okay, Meryl, you can admit you don't mind that much)

In light of later events, it's interesting to note what parts of WW's cover story are true and which are fabricated. WW has been handed his orders from Chapel, so his encounter with Vash was no coincidence; WW has to case the joint before making a move. The girls helpfully confirm that WW has made contact, and he has to get Vash to trust him. Not too hard, though Vash isn't quite as naive about WW as he puts on. Everyone's got their act.

WW figures out quickly that Vash is a big softy, or maybe he has info; nevertheless, his generosity towards children (which Vash shares) isn't false. The part about the orphanage and protecting the kids is true, though the circumstances of WW's departure have nothing to do with money and everything to do with a hostage situation. WW's amazement at who he's going to be dealing with is also genuine; he knows Vash is legendary, but seeing Vash wipe out all the mechanical mooks while injured is next-level.

And, at the end of it all...

WW certainly didn't expect to like Vash as much as he ends up doing. (cue the conflict, and a zillion angsty fanfics.) That's going to make everything a lot more complicated.

[nanomooselet]

Episode One: No Man's Land

He's so fluffy. <3

Man, the fact that Vash ran out to greet all those people by name and he's not even a minute into it when the ships begin to explode is really everything about him you need to know. The first time we see his face and it's after he's been thrown off his feet as cascading destruction is unleashed around him. The face that crashed a thousand ships? Vash of Troy? My poor sweet boy.

Young children can sometimes have trouble with cause and effect, assuming events relate more to their own actions than they really do and blaming themselves. So Vash asking Rem if the sleepers will be okay... There's simply no time to explain he isn't responsible. All the dominos are being set up in Vash's little head. Nai is the one to knock them down.

And then Rem and Nai wearing identical expressions. It's not surprising that even after her death she's his most enduring ideological opponent. Every time I watch it's just more obvious how enormous the effect she had on Nai was, and how he hates it. (By the way, I keep hearing that Rem told Nai to protect Vash - but as far as I can tell that's a conclusion Nai came to on his own without Rem's intervention? Rem said she'd protect the twins herself and didn't anticipate the crash. Did I miss something?)

I've talked extensively about this part, but to recap: feelings. And look, Rem's got purple eyes! Apart from the colour motif (purple = red + blue, so it represents the unity of humanity and the Plants that was her dream) she would have had to get gene-modded for them, which is a fun detail. Rem, of all people, was a little bit vain. I dunno, I find that endearing.

"Real people don't look like that./Real people aren't such caricatures." More of Orange's composition choices making me foam at the mouth.

We don't know how long Vash has been dangling there, but I doubt it was less time than it would take for a human to die of deprivation or exposure. I really don't think Vash actually needs to eat or drink, nor does he hate being a Plant - it's himself that he hates, as a person. If anything Knives is the one in denial that he's just as human? I don't know.

Anyway personally I like to think that the reporters really are caught up in all this nonsense by sheer happenstance. No one's pulling their strings; they're out to write a meaningless gossip piece and Meryl is taking it too seriously. It's worth noting that focused pursuit of the "dangerous fugitive" (read: Vash) is apparently pretty recent, not to mention unusual.

...I'm guessing my girl doesn't play a lot of poker. Meryl's faces. <3

I've said it before, but the show doesn't cheat. Roberto doesn't pull his conclusions out of his ass; he tallies up incongruities and puts them together into insights. He's obviously experienced, but I think of Sam Vimes, a recovering alcoholic, complaining there aren't meetings you can attend for being a suspicious bastard. Roberto drinks because, too often, his suspicions have been proven right. (I suspect Roberto also suffers from a state of being naturally knurd i.e. he's short of sobriety in the opposite direction to being drunk, and has to down a few before he's on par with the rest of us. But I also think his tolerance is good and he plays up drunken mannerisms when it suits him.)

Huh, the man looks good in a tie. I wonder how recent that photo is.

Anyway, Roberto sees Vash's big honkin' gun, but Vash insists he's "not a fighter". He notes aloud that Vash doesn't look like a Plant engineer and Vash dodges explaining. Then he sees this face Vash is making, and it's scared. He's sweating. This is before the MPs barge in, so it's something about the Plant he's afraid of.

Right, thinks Roberto, we'll tuck that nugget of info away, along with how that piece in his holster sure ain't no damn novelty backscratcher. And when an opportunity arises to test the insight, Roberto takes it.

Uh, never mind what I said about cheating. (Although this is an animation cheat, not a narrative one.) I love that they didn't even pretend like he was maybe hiding it somewhere. Also hilarious, though more darkly so, is the complaint that this turn is "bad writing" because the captain was professional, as if he didn't beat the shit out of a suspect in the process of surrendering, stick his gun in random faces, and agree to a duel with deadly weapons against a bounty head he's meant to bring in alive because some random drunk asshole made slightly mean comments.

("Are you are a man, or a yellow-bellied baby who needs his mommy?" Background info implies the captain has reason to be sensitive about the accusation he's hiding behind his parents. I wonder if the dub writers knew?)

Meanwhile Vash is unwilling to fight until his opponent does something absolutely batshit that imperils everyone around him. He's also bizarrely calm about a cluster of missiles being launched and heading right for him. Roberto's right that he isn't afraid of the MPs.

"A fight should be a show!/We've got an audience, we might as well give them a show!" <- Orange says you're goddamn right about that, crazy captain dude. And it's exactly what they did.

Dweeb. <3 He probably left his ammo behind in his bag on purpose, but didn't expect the captain to do something so recklessly violent and suddenly realised he hasn't had time to restock any of his aces in the hole. Nevertheless, I suspect he's still playing up how hard he's freaking out here. The helpless and pathetic act is very much an act; it's only when he's faced with Knives that it isn't.

It's so sweet that Rosa knows him well enough to have faith he'd pull it off with a single bullet. She put a lot of trust in him. I like to think she kept a stock on hand. She also meant it when she said "a friend of Vash's is a friend of mine," so Meryl makes the throw. And she makes it good. Which all helps what's coming to be more devastating, naturally.

LOL at how clearly this is an animation/particle flex, but it's celebratory too, like fireworks on opening night. Over a decade since Vash did his thing on our screens. Here he is returning with a bang!

Wow, I somehow completely and utterly failed to realise Meryl and Roberto's conversation with Vash about Knives takes place the next day until this time around. Of course they would have had to wait until the captain was conscious enough to ride out of town. All the details I pick up and "the sun is setting" or maybe "unconscious people can't ride birds" missed me entirely. What I'm saying is that I'm very smart.

Hi Zazie!

I don't expect an answer to this question, but I have to wonder. Did Zazie wait to report to Knives until now to be absolutely certain it was Vash after seeing him draw that exact gun and do something impossible? Or does Zazie have some awareness of the fourth wall, knew when they'd cut away to show Knives, and acted so as to achieve a "speak of the devil" effect when Vash finally mentioned his full name?

Regardless, I really like the dub, but it's a shame they couldn't keep the ambiguity of whether Knives is talking about Vash or the red Plant when he says he'll rescue [someone] from the "parasites".

I do like the impression he's talking to the Plant husks (even if it's probably really Zazie he's talking to). My man's always open to constructive criticism when his interlocuter isn't capable of making any.

@tristampparty

[trigun-sims-shenanigans]

sex and betrayal

Milly and Wolfwood are promptly stopped from 'woohooing' in meryl's bed... but not by meryl......... but by this woman maniacally laughing while playing video games

milly kicks her out, and then tries to ask nick again..... but meryl shows up

they try ONE MORE TIME, and ask meryl to go swim in the pool...

INSTEAD OF GOING TO MILLY'S ROOM

THAT IS DOWNSTAIRS

they stay in meryl's for some strange reason (I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW WHY IT WASN'T THE CLOSEST BED !!!)

but anyways, its so poetic that the only couple to canonically have sex are the first to bone down in the sims

aw T-T look at them cuddling T-T and laying together T-T

THEYRE SO CUTE AND HAPPY AHHHHH

but wait

there's... crying? in the hallway ?

OH NO MERYL

MERYL HAD TINY LITTLE HOPE THAT SHE AND WOLFWOOD MIGHT WORK OUT NOOOOO

lol okay,,,, ever the confrontational woman, meryl rushes in and slaps wolfwood UP

she looks so happy while she does it lol

AND THEN WALKS OUT. ICON OF A WOMAN

she is... genuinely upset... my girl...

updated meryl and wolfwood relationship meter T-T

theyre still friends,,, but their romantic aspect is in the negative

...

oh ? whats this ?

meryl obviously kicked nick out for REASONS DETAILED ABOVE and he leaves upset

(milly looks so smug ojsdljfsldj)

BUT IF WE REVEAL THE FULL PICTURE WE SEE THAT VASH IS HERE AT THE FRONT DOOR

the LOOK he gave ww is killer

meryl... still a bit upset, goes to greet vash and its quite sweet

he showed up flirty .....

doesn't matter. he listened to her complain about her problems and it was nice

while it was nice for him to visit... it was late and meryl was quite sad still.... so she went and cried herself to sleep T-T

my poor girl T-T

[doingherbestbutnot]

Okay but… where are the VashMeryl fics on AO3?? VashWood is feeding me but my poor girl Meryl is starving 😭😭😭