#michael’s like here’s our selection of drum heads

[tiesandtea]

Simon Gilbert

Simon Says

We interviewed Simon Gilbert, Suede’s drummer, whose book So Young: Suede 1991-1993 is a journal and photographic document of the band’s early years that will be published October 8th. So Young has foreword by journalist Stuart Maconie and a vibrant, lively text by Simon himself, documenting his move from Stratford-on-Avon, his hometown, to London, the audition with Suede, life in the van, the early success years and the many amusing things that come with it. It is one of those rare books that make an outsider feel like they were there, in the van. Or in absurd mansions in L.A. belonging to industry types. Or was it record producer(s)?…

The conversation extended to Coming Up, Suede’s third album that turned 25 this year and drumming. Simon’s witty, often, one-liners contrast with my more elaborate questions, proving an interesting insight into our way of writing/replying.

by Raquel Pinheiro

So Young: Suede 1991-1993

What made you want to realease So Young?

I was searching through my archives when researching for the insatiable ones movies and found lots of old negatives and my diaries. They had to be seen.

When and why did you start your Suede archives?

As you can see from the book, it stared from the very first audition day.

From the concept idea to publishing how long did it took you to put So Young together?

30 years … I’ve always wanted to make a book since I was first in a band.

What was your selection process for which items – diary entries, photos, etc.- would be part of the book?

I wanted to form a story visually with a few bits of info thrown in here and there, also most of the photos tie in with pages from the diaries.

Which methods, storage, preservation, maintenance, if at all, do you employ to keep the various materials in your archives in good shape?

Boxes in an attic … one thing about getting the book out is that I don’t have to worry about the photos getting lost forever. It’s out there in a book!

Other than medium what differences existed between selecting material for The Insatiable Ones documentary and for So Young?

Video and photos … photos don’t translate well on a TV screen.

Do you prefer still or motion pictures and why?

I prefer photos … they capture a particular moment in time … as video does, but there’s a unique atmosphere with a photo.

So Young’s cover photo has a very Caravaggio and ballet feeling to it. Its chiaroscuro also contrasts with the images inside.  Why did you choose it for the cover?

It was a striking shot and I wanted the book to be black and dark …it fitted perfectly.

How many of the photos on So Young were taken by you?

Probably about 3/4 my 3 school friends who were there with me at the beginning Iain, Kathy and Phillip took a load of us onstage, backstage, after  the gig, etc., photos I couldn’t take myself.

So Young can be placed alongside books like Henry Rollins’ Get in The Van and Michael Azerrad’s Our Band Could Be Your Life, that not only chronicle and show the less glamorous, more mundane side of being in a band, but also totally immerse the reader so deep in it that we are there, feeling and going through the same things. Was your selection of materials meant to convey that “band being your(our) life” sensation?

Yes, exactly that. I was fascinated by photos of bands, not on the front cover of a magazine or on TV. The other bits of being in a band are far more interesting.

In the foreword, Stuart Maconie mentions the brevity of your diary entries which, as someone who keeps diaries, I immediately noticed. Do you prefer to tell and record a story and events with images?

I haven’t kept a diary since the end of 1993 … looking back on them they can be a bit cringeful … So, yes, I prefer images.

Contrasting with the diary entries brevity your text  that accompanies So Young is lively, witty, detailed and a good description of the struggles of a coming of age, heading towards success, band. Do you think the text and images reveal too much into what it really is like being in a band, destroying the myth a bit?

I think the myth of being in a band is long gone … Reality is the new myth…

In So Young you write that when you first heard Never Mind The Bollocks by The Sex Pistols music was to be your “future dream”. How has the dream been so far?

Still dreaming … lose your dreams and you will lose your mind … like Jagger said.

Is there a reason why So Young only runs from 1991 to 1993?

Yes, I bought a video camera in 1993. It was so much easier filming everything rather than take a photo, wait 3 weeks to get it developed and find out it was blurred.

So Young has a limited deluxe numbered and signed edition already sold out. The non deluxe edition also seems to be heading the same way. How important is it for you to keep a close relationship with the fans?

So important. I love interacting with the fans and is so easy these days … I had to write replies by hand and post them out in 1993…

Playing Live Again & Coming Up

Before Suede’s concert at Qstock Festival in Oulu, Finland on 31.07.2021 you wrote on your social media “cant fucking wait dosnt come close!!!!!” and Mat [Osman, Suede’s bassist] on his “An honest-to-goodness rehearsal for an honest-to-goodness show. Finally”. How did it feel like going back to play live?

It was great. Heathrow was empty which was amazing. A bit strange to play for the first time after 2 years …., but great to get out again.

Coming Up was released 25 years ago. How does the record sound and seems to you now compared with by then?

I haven’t listened to it for a long time actually … love playing that album live … some great drumming.

Before the release of Coming Up fans and the press were wondering if Suede would be able to pull it off. What was your reaction when you first heard the new songs and realize the album was going in quite a different direction than Dog Man Star?

Far too long ago to remember.

Coming Up become a classic album. It even has its own Classical Albums documentary. Could you see the album becoming a classic by then?

I think so yes .. there was always something to me very special about that album.

Is it different to play Coming Up songs after Suede’s return? Is there a special approach to concerts in which a single album is played?

No … didn’t even need to listen to the songs before we first rehearsed … They’re lodged in my brain.

Which is your Coming Up era favourite song as a listener and which one do you prefer as a drummer?

The Chemistry Between Us.

Will the Coming Up shows consist only of the album or will B-sides be played as well?

Definitely some B-sides and some other stuff too.

Simon & Drumming

If you weren’t a drummer how would your version of “being the bloke singing at the front” be like?

Damned awful … I auditioned as a singer once, before I started drumming … It was awful!

In his book Stephen Morris says that all it takes to be a drummer is a flat surface and know how to count. Do you agree?

No.

Then, what makes a good drummer?

Being in the right band.

Topper Headon of the Clash is one of your role models. Who are the others?

He is, yes … fantastic drummer.

Charlie Watts is the other great …and Rat Scabies … superb.

She opens with drums so does Introducing the band. Your drumming gives the band a distinctive sound. How integral to Suede’s sound are the drums?

Well, what can I say … VERY!

Do you prefer songs that are driven by the drums or songs in which the drums are more in the background?

Bit of both actually … I love in your face stuff like She, Filmstar …, but ikewise, playing softer stuff is very satisfying too.

You’re not a songwriter. How much freedom and input do you have regarding drum parts?

If the songs needs it, I’ll change it.

Do you prefer blankets, towels or a pillow inside the bass drum?

Pillows.

Do you use gaffer tape when recording? If so, just on the snare drum or also on the toms? What about live?

Lots of the stuff … gaffer tape has been my friend both live and in the studio for 30 years.

What is the depth of your standard snare drum and why?

Just got a lovely 7-inch Bog wood snare from Repercussion Drums … sounds amazing. It is a 5000 year old Bog wood snare.

Standard, mallets, rods or brushes?

Standard. I hate mallets and rods are always breaking after one song. Brushes are the worst …no control.

How many drum kits have you owned? Of those, which is your favourite?

5 … my fave is my DW purple.

How long to you manage without playing? Do you play air drums?

7 years 2003 – 2010 … and never.

Can you still assemble and tune your drum kit?

Assemble, yes …tune no …have never been any good at that.

You dislike digital/electronic drum kits, but used one during the pandemic. Did you become more found of them?

Still hate them … unfortunately,  they are a necessary evil.

When you first joined Suede you replaced a drum machine. Would it be fair to say you didn’t mind taking its job?

Fuck him!

Brett [Anderson, Suede’s singer] as described the new album as “nasty, brutish and short”. How does that translates drums wise?

Very nasty brutish and short.

When researching for the interview I come across the statement below on a forum: “If you’re in a band and you’re thinking about how to go about this, get every player to come up with their own track list & have a listening party. I’ve done this, not only is it great fun, it’s also massively insightful when it comes to finding out what actually is going on inside the drummer’s head!”. What actually is going on inside the drummer’s head?

Where’s my fucking lighter!

And what is going on inside the drummer as a documentarist head? How does Simon, the drummer, differs from Simon, the keen observer of his own band, bandmates, fans, himself, etc.?

There is no difference … I’m Simon here there and everywhere…

What would the 16 years old Simon who come to London think of current Simon? What advice would you give to your younger self?

Don’t smoke so much you fool!

[calumcest]

taking the long way home

[ao3]

“May we have your attention for flight BA8227,” the tinny voice of the announcement says, and Ashton’s stomach sinks. They never announce anything he wants to hear; there’s never any we’ve upgraded hardworking and broke session drummer Ashton Irwin to first class, he’s also been given unlimited air miles and a refund on his overpriced tuna melt. “We are sorry to announce that this flight is delayed by approximately seven hours. This is due to unforeseen adverse weather conditions. I repeat-” 

-

aka their flight is delayed au

Ashton Irwin does not, repeat not, like flying.

He thinks it’s a perfectly rational thing to dislike. He’s not afraid, by any means – it’s just such an inefficient way of getting anywhere. He’ll spend an hour getting to the airport in order to be two hours early for his three hour flight, and then spend another hour on the other end getting to wherever he actually needed to go because airports are never anywhere convenient. Not to mention the patting down he inevitably gets at security, the fifteen minute wait for them to check whether or not the dark shadow in his bag is a tube of lip balm or a stick of dynamite, and the ridiculous price of the lunch he’s forced to buy in Duty Free. All of that would perhaps, perhaps, be just about tolerable, if his flights were ever on fucking time.

So far, however, Ashton’s day is running fairly smoothly. He’d not even been ‘randomly selected’ at security for a pat down, and the lady in Costa had taken pity on him when he was fumbling with his coins (seriously, why the fuck are five-pence coins so small?) and given him his tuna melt panini for ten pence less than he owed. He’d even made it to his gate an hour before departure time, picking the most strategically placed seat so he can jump up and join the queue as soon as boarding is announced. All in all, Ashton’s having the most bearable day he could possibly have in an airport.

The universe, however, seems to have other plans. Despite it being January, despite the weather forecast saying it might snow, as soon as a single snowflake hits the runway, the entire fucking airport loses its shit. Flight after flight gets cancelled, delayed until the morning, and the airport is suddenly filling up as people aren’t getting on their flights. Ashton’s flight makes it all the way until half an hour before boarding is supposed to start, keeping Ashton’s hopes high, when-

“May we have your attention for flight BA8227,” the tinny voice of the announcement says, and Ashton’s stomach sinks. They never announce anything he wants to hear; there’s never any we’ve upgraded hardworking and broke session drummer Ashton Irwin to first class, he’s also been given unlimited air miles and a refund on his overpriced tuna melt. “We are sorry to announce that this flight is delayed by approximately seven hours. This is due to unforeseen adverse weather conditions. I repeat-”

Great. Fucking great. Not like Ashton has places to be, people to see, a life to live, a home he would like to get back to before the age of ninety. It’s already eleven p.m.; if Ashton’s rudimentary maths is accurate, his flight won’t be departing until nine a.m., if at all (he adds a few hours onto the delay, because he knows better than to trust airlines).

Groaning, he drags himself out of his well-selected seat and over to the information desk, where a small crowd is starting to gather, jostling impatiently to try and hear what the one harassed-looking employee is saying to the man at the front of the queue.

“Can you fucking believe this?” the guy behind Ashton grumbles. He’s got a familiar Aussie twang, but Ashton doesn’t even turn around to bond with him – testament to how bad of a mood he’s in.

“Yes,” Ashton says darkly. “It’s a fucking airline.”

“Fair point,” the guy says. “Reckon they’ll have any hotel rooms left? We must be the ninetieth flight delayed because of adverse weather conditions.”

“I’d rather take the extra compensation money and sleep on my suitcase,” Ashton says. The guy behind him laughs.

“Need the money?” he says, sympathetically. “I’ve been there, mate. What do you do?”

“I drum,” Ashton says. “Session musician.”

“Sweet,” the guy says. “I play guitar. Session musician, too, but my band’s trying to make it.”

“Oh?” Ashton says, interest finally piqued enough to turn around and get a good look at the guy. He’s about Ashton’s age, maybe a little younger, with a long, sweeping blonde fringe that Ashton’s impressed managed to cling on through to the 2020s.

“Yeah,” the guy says. “Heading out to LA to record. You?”

“I was here to record,” Ashton says, and then they’re interrupted by a tall guy rushing up, clutching a duffel bag in his arms.

“Sorry, Mike,” the guy says, slightly breathless. “The toilet’s a fucking mile away, and possibly in another dimension.”

“Yeah, yeah,” the fringe-owner (Mike?) says, rolling his eyes. “Hey, I’ve made a friend. He’s Australian and a session musician too. I’m considering replacing you with him.”

“Ashton,” Ashton says, nodding at both Mike and New Guy. He does a (subtle) double-take when he properly looks at New Guy, because Christ, he is fucking gorgeous. He’s got blonde hair that curls beautifully in the way that Ashton’s never managed to get own hair to, baby-blue eyes that blink at him from under dark, inky lashes, and a dimple on one side of the lips he’s currently biting.

Well. Consider Ashton fucked.

“Michael,” Mike says, nodding back. “And this is Luke.”

“Hi,” Luke says. “Sorry, I swear I’m not queue-jumping.”

“Wouldn’t matter to me if you were,” Ashton says. “You’re behind me.”

“You’re not very principled,” Luke says. Ashton shrugs.

“Never claimed to be,” he says.

“Ashton wants to sleep on his suitcase,” Michael informs Luke.

“I said the same thing,” Luke says. “I need the money.”

“I want a bed,” Michael says.

“You just want somewhere without me to call Calum,” Luke says accusingly.

“Can you blame me?” Michael says. “I’ve got to spend an extra seven hours with you now. Hey, maybe Ashton’ll take you off my hands.”

“No can do,” Ashton says, although his dick very much thinks yes, please, it would be my honour. “I need my beauty sleep.” Luke frowns.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” he says, slightly petulantly. Michael pats him on the shoulder.

“Of course not, babe,” he says patronisingly. “Hey, Ashton, you’re next.” Ashton turns around, surprised at how fast the queue has moved, to see he is indeed the next person in the queue.

“Good evening, sir,” the lady says, tiredly, when Ashton slaps his ticket down on the counter. Ashton feels a stab of pity for her. It’s not her fault that airlines are determined to suck the joy out of life.

“I want the compensation money,” he says, figuring it’s best to cut to the chase.

“Thank goodness,” the lady says, scanning his ticket, “because we don’t have any hotel rooms left.

“Hear that?” Ashton hears Luke say to Michael.

“Yeah, Luke, I’m stood just as far away as you,” Michael tells Luke.

“Right,” Ashton says. “Is the flight actually going to leave tomorrow?”

“Not a clue,” the lady says, tapping away on her keyboard. “The money will be in your account in three business days, Mr Irwin.”

“Thanks,” Ashton says, picking up his suitcase and ticket and moving to the side to put his ticket and passport away.

(And yeah, maybe he fiddles a little more than strictly necessary with his suitcase, zipping and unzipping it a few times for no reason, until Luke and Michael finish with the customer service lady. It doesn’t mean anything.)

“…might not even be into guys, Mike, oh my God, fucking stop, stop,” he hears Luke hiss, sounding like he’s pleading, and he looks up from his suitcase to see Michael heading towards him with Luke trailing behind.

“Well?” Michael prompts, when they get to Ashton. Ashton looks at him questioningly, wondering whether he was supposed to overhear and comment on whatever Luke was talking about. “You’re going to spend the night with us, right? Us Aussies have to stick together. I can’t leave you on your own with British people in good conscience. Plus, I want to call my boyfriend, and I need someone to look after Luke.”

“I’m fucking twenty-three,” Luke says. “I can look after myself.”

“You left your passport in the hotel,” Michael says.

“Yeah, and then I remembered that I forgot it,” Luke says.

“Once you got to the airport.”

“So? Our flight’s got a seven hour delay,” Luke says. Michael rolls his eyes.

“I’m going to call Calum,” he says. “You two find somewhere nice and cosy for us to sleep tonight. Pick the best chairs.” Without waiting for a response, he strides off, phone already in his hand.

Great. Now Ashton’s stuck with possibly the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen, and he’s in a terrible mood so he can’t even flirt.

“Sorry about him,” Luke says, and he does actually sound sorry. He’s worrying the bottom corner of his lip with his teeth, and Ashton wonders absent-mindedly whether there’s a cause behind that particular nervous tic. “You don’t have to stay with me. I mean, like, obviously not, you don’t even know me. Michael’s just…like that.”

“Don’t worry,” Ashton assures him, because something in his gut is screaming that he really, really does want to stay with Luke. “I could use the company.”

“I thought you wanted to sleep…?” Luke trails off.

“Who ever gets what they fucking want in an airport?” Ashton says, and Luke laughs, laughs, and Ashton’s stomach flips in a way that’s nearly pleasant and almost-probably isn’t to do with the tuna melt he ate earlier. He resolves to try and make Luke laugh as much as possible for the next seven-plus hours. “Let’s find some good seats to hog before the rest of the flights tonight get cancelled.” Luke nods, biting his lip again, and grabs his and Michael’s bags, following in Ashton’s wake.

Ashton, for all of his hatred of airports, is a master at finding the perfect seats, so it’s really no surprise when he spots a secluded little square of seats tucked away behind a wall that looks like it’s a dead end but isn’t. He’s kind of proud, though, when Luke makes a noise of surprise and approval, and tries not to let it go to his head.

(He doesn’t succeed.)

“Mike’ll be gone for, like, three hours at the very least,” Luke says apologetically. Good, Ashton wants to say. Get you all to myself. Sounds a bit serial-killer, though, when he thinks about it, so he doesn’t.

“His boyfriend?” he enquires, hoping it’s coming off very much as I, too, am interested in having a boyfriend and not a man with a boyfriend? What is the world coming to? Luke nods, so Ashton reckons he got close enough.

“Yeah,” Luke says, a small smile forming on his lips. “Calum. They’ve been together as long as I’ve known them.”

“How long’s that?” Ashton asks, curious.

“Ten years? Something like,” Luke says. Ashton whistles.

“That’s a long time for someone your age,” he says. Luke makes a small noise of outrage.

“My age?” Luke says indignantly. “You’re what, like, twenty-six?”

“Twenty-five,” Ashton corrects. “See? I said I needed my beauty sleep.” Luke scowls, but it’s good-natured.

They busy themselves with getting comfortable for a few minutes. Ashton leaves the seats by the window that’ll get draughty in the morning for Michael (first come first served, he thinks) and picks the row opposite Luke to stretch out on, kicking off his shoes and using his backpack as a pillow. From the corner of his eye, he sees Luke take a travel pillow and thin blanket out of his duffel bag, and for some reason Ashton’s heart decides that’s the cutest thing Luke’s done so far tonight.

“So, where in Australia are you from?” Luke asks, fluffing up the tiny pillow as best he can.

“Sydney,” Ashton says. “You?”

“No way,” Luke says, turning around to face Ashton. “Me too!” He sounds so excited that Ashton doesn’t have the heart to point out that it’s not that surprising, given Sydney has a fifth of Australia’s population.

“Whereabouts?” Ashton asks, hoping it’s not coming off as stalker-esque.

“Western Sydney,” Luke says, swinging his legs up and lying down on his row of seats. “Like, Oakville kind of area?”

“No way,” Ashton says, because that is a little bit more exciting than simply being from the same massive city. “I’m from Richmond.”

“That’s so weird,” Luke says happily. “What are the odds of bumping into someone else from western Sydney in Heathrow Airport?”

“Well, you’re here with Michael, aren’t you?” Ashton says, lying down and arranging his coat over himself.

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t be bumping into him,” Luke says. Then, as though the thought’s just struck him, he adds- “Hey, he said you play?” Ashton nods.

“Yeah, drums,” he says. “I can play guitar and a little bit of piano, too, but drums are my main love.” Luke grins, eyes crinkling around the corners, making Ashton’s stomach swoop.

“That’s fucking sick,” Luke tells him, and he sounds so earnest that Ashton actually believes that this random guy thinks Ashton’s ability to hit a drum with a stick is cool. “Our band needs a drummer, actually. I bet Michael’ll try and recruit you.”

“I don’t know,” Ashton says, pretending to muse. “My going rate is pretty high.”

“Oh?” Luke says. “Will ten pounds and a can of coke do?”

“I’ll do it for just the can of coke,” Ashton says, and Luke grins again. Ashton thinks it’s pretty unfair of the universe to present him with such a beautiful, out-of-his-league man when he’s tired and grumpy, so not up to his best conversation. If this were any other situation, Ashton would be wooing Luke so hard he’d put Romeo to shame.

“I’m going to try and sleep,” Ashton says. I want to try and be in a better mood tomorrow morning so I can flirt with you and possibly suck your dick, he adds mentally, just in case Luke can read minds. Luke just nods solemnly.

“Good luck,” he says.

“I’m going to need it,” Ashton tells him, flashing him a quick smile before closing his eyes. He hears Luke sigh, shuffle a little under his thin blanket, and peeks out of one eye to see him stretching. His phone, clutched in his left hand, clatters to the floor.

“Oops,” Luke says, blushing slightly as he twists around to pick it up and inspect it for damage. His shirt rides up a little, just enough for Ashton to see a sliver of smooth, pale skin on his hip. Ashton squeezes his eyes shut again.

God. He is so fucked.

-------

Ashton actually manages to drift off into an uneasy sleep, much to his surprise. When he’s pulled back into consciousness, far too soon for his liking, it’s to the low sound of people talking quietly.

“…number,” someone’s saying.

“I’m not doing that, Michael!” someone else says, voice almost squeaky with indignance.

“Why not?” the first person (Michael, Ashton’s sleepy brain supplies), says.

“Because!” the second person (Luke, Ashton thinks) says.

“What are you, four?” Michael scoffs. “That’s not a valid reason. I’ll give it to him.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Luke says.

“C’mon, Luke, what’ve you got to lose?” Michael says. “You’re never going to see him again.”

“My dignity,” Luke says pointedly. “Not that you’d know what that is.”

“You’re right,” Michael says agreeably, “so I’ll give it to him.”

“No!” Luke squawks, and it’s loud enough that Ashton opens his eyes. Both Michael and Luke, sat upright on their rows of seats, turn to look at him, Luke with a guilty look on his face, Michael unreadable.

“Morning,” Michael says.

“Time’s it?” Ashton mumbles. It’s still dark outside.

“Four,” Michael says, and Ashton groans, letting his eyes fall shut again.

“Fuck,” he says.

“Hey, at least you slept,” Michael says.

“Did you not?” Ashton asks.

“Luke did,” Michael says, nodding at Luke, who smiles bashfully back at him. “And now he’s hungry.”

“I can speak for myself, y’know,” Luke informs Michael, before turning to Ashton. “I am hungry, though.”

“Want to spend your entire life savings on a disappointing sandwich?” Ashton offers. “I’ll join.”

“Sure,” Luke says. “Mikey…?” Michael throws him a meaningful look, and shakes his head.

“Nah,” he says. “I’ll stay here, guard your precious little pillow.”

“Hey,” Luke says, pointing at Michael. “My little pillow helped me sleep.”

“Ashton slept without one,” Michael says.

“I don’t think my neck appreciated it, though,” Ashton says, sitting up and cracking his neck from side to side, making Luke wince.

“D’you want anything?” Luke asks Michael.

“A chocolate brownie, if you find anywhere that sells them,” Michael says. “And for you to-”

“Alright,” Luke says loudly, sounding slightly panicked.

“-fuck off,” Michael finishes, throwing Luke another indecipherable look.

“Chocolate brownie,” Luke repeats. “Got it.” Ashton swings his legs out from under his coat, feeling the sudden loss of heat, and shrugs his coat back over his shoulders.

“C’mon,” he says. “Let’s see where we can waste our money at three in the morning.”  

-------

They scour the entire terminal, but the only place that seems to be open and worth going to is Caffè Nero.

“Yet another overpriced panini,” Ashton mutters, staring at their selection in distaste.

“Not necessarily,” Luke points out. “You could go for an overpriced toastie.”

“Or treat myself to an overpriced salad,” Ashton agrees.

“I’m getting paid soon, so I’m going for a toastie,” Luke says, grabbing a ham and cheese toastie from the fridge.

“I just fucking love tuna,” Ashton says, grabbing another tuna melt. “Is it too early for a coffee? I’ll be wired for the whole flight and crash as soon as I land.”

“Too early for a coffee,” Luke tells him. “Get some chocolate instead.”

“What about a coffee and chocolate?” Ashton probes. Luke shakes his head.

“Chocolate,” he says firmly. Ashton mock-scowls, sighs dramatically, and goes up to order. He gets a hot chocolate, which is hot like coffee but chocolate like Luke told him, and a bag of crisps to wash down his tuna melt.

“Eat in or take away?” the guy taking his order asks. Ashton throws a glance at Luke.

“Take away,” Luke says. “Cheaper.”

“Good point,” Ashton says, turning back to the guy at the till. “Take away.”

“We can find somewhere to sit without Michael,” Luke says. “He hates the smell of tuna.” Ashton tries to ignore the way his stomach flips at the easy we, and the fact that Luke’s willing to sit with Ashton, a total stranger, rather than going back to his friend of a decade.

(He fails miserably.)

Luke gets two chocolate brownies, the fancy hot chocolate that Ashton wanted but his bank account didn’t, a can of coke and a bag of crisps on top of his ham and cheese toastie. They make idle chat while waiting for their food, and then find a little corner of the deserted terminal to sit down and start eating.

“God, I forgot how good a simple toastie can be,” Luke says, eyes fluttering shut in bliss as he takes his first bite. Ashton’s dick’s interest is piqued.

“Who’d’ve known that heating up ham, cheese and bread can make such a difference?” Ashton muses, taking a bite out of his own tuna melt. Not as good as Costa, he thinks, but better than Pret.

“We’ve got a toastie maker at home, but we never use it,” Luke says, and Ashton’s heart sinks. We. Of course Luke’s taken; how the fuck could he not be? He’s possibly a demi-god, that’s how attractive he is – there’s no way someone like that stays single.

“Oh?” Ashton says, trying not to let the disappointment leak into his voice. “Your girlfriend want more adult food than toasties?” Luke looks at him, startled.

“Girlfriend?” he says. Yeah, Ashton’s not exactly subtle when he’s tired.

“Well, I-” Luke cuts him off with a small, shy smile.

“I don’t, uh, really swing that way?” Luke says, as though it’s a question, and Ashton’s stomach uncurls a little.

“Oh,” he says. “Good. I mean. Me either.”

“Oh,” Luke says, smile getting bigger. “And, just for the record, I don’t, um, have a boyfriend, either. Not that I’m- I’m not trying to- like, I live with Michael and Calum, so.” He shrugs, looking away, and Ashton sees a fierce blush creeping up his cheeks. He desperately wants to kiss Luke.

“Wow,” Ashton says, when he remembers to respond. “That can’t be fun.”

“Fucking isn’t,” Luke mumbles around his toastie. He swallows, clears his throat, and then adds: “Well, mostly it’s great. Until they start fucking.” Ashton chokes on his bite of tuna melt, and through his splutters he sees a coquettish look on Luke’s face.

“You don’t have to listen, you know,” Ashton says, when he recovers.

“I don’t,” Luke assures him, finishing off his toastie and starting on his crisps. “I cycle very loudly through a playlist called Worst Songs To Have Sex To.”

“What’s on it?” Ashton asks, curious.

“Oh, you know,” Luke says, grinning. “Cotton Eye Joe, What Does The Fox Say, nursery rhymes, that sort of thing.” Ashton snorts.

“Fucking hell,” he says. “I don’t think I’d be able to have sex through that.”

“Well, either Cal and Mike are into some weird shit, or the walls are thicker on their end than mine,” Luke says. Ashton doesn’t have the heart to point out that that doesn’t make sense.

“You should play the same songs every time,” Ashton suggests. “Pavlov them into getting hard whenever they hear Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” Luke bursts out laughing.

“Fuck,” he says, through giggles. “I’m absolutely going to do that.” Ashton grins, a warmth growing in the pit of his stomach at the fact that he’s made Luke laugh like that.

“Or just have really loud sex back,” he says, and Luke’s giggles still.

“Well,” he says awkwardly. “I, like. Don’t really get to do a lot of that.” He’s blushing again, and Ashton cocks his head.

“Really?” he says.

“Really,” Luke says.

“You must have people throwing themselves at you,” Ashton says, and Luke bites his lip, shakes his head. “You’re fucking lying, Luke. Come on, look at you. Not getting laid, I get, no shame, that’s your choice, but not having the opportunity? I’m not buying that.” Luke shakes his head again, almost shy.

“Not really a lot of people’s type,” he says, and it sounds kind of sad. Ashton wants to kiss Luke, hold him in his arms, and also fucking kill whoever’s made Luke think that way.

“You’re kidding,” Ashton says flatly. “Luke, you’re the most-” he cuts himself off, because most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen in my entire twenty-five years of life is probably coming on a bit too strong. “You’re fucking stunning, Luke. You’re stunning, and you’re funny, and you’re cute. What’s not to like?”

“I don’t know,” Luke mumbles into his hot chocolate. “Maybe it’s because I’m shy. Guys like confident men.”

“Not all guys. I don’t,” Ashton says, without thinking. Luke looks up at him, blue eyes unreadable under his inky eyelashes.

“Yeah?” Luke says, quiet, and definitely shy.

“Yeah,” Ashton says boldly, thinking fuck it, why the fuck not? If this goes badly, he’s never going to see Luke again, is he? You miss a hundred percent of the shots you miss, or whatever that saying is. “Luke, you’re, like. The cutest guy I’ve ever seen. I’d date you in a heartbeat.”

“You would?” Luke asks.

“I would,” Ashton says. A small smile creeps onto Luke’s face.

“Oh,” he says.

“Yeah,” Ashton says, feeling a little awkward now. “So, like. Yeah.” Luke smiles at him, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Well, we’re both going to be in LA, aren’t we?” he says, sounding nervous. Ashton opens his mouth to respond – yes, that tends to be what happens when two people both get on a flight to LA – before his brain catches up with him, realises what Luke may potentially be hinting at.

But surely not, right? Not with Ashton.

“Are you asking me out?” Ashton asks. Luke looks away.

“Not really,” he says. “I’m- I might be, uh, asking you to ask me out, though.”

God. Ashton’s never met anyone so endearing in his fucking life.

“Let me take you to dinner,” Ashton says, finally, when it’s sunk in enough that Luke, Luke, the six-foot-three deity of pure, unadulterated sex and charm wants Ashton to ask him out. “Well, maybe not dinner, unless it’s in, like, two weeks, when I get paid. Maybe, like, a coffee. Or I could cook you dinner at my flat. I’m a good cook, and I promise I’m not a murderer.” Luke laughs again.

“Dinner at yours sounds good,” he says, grinning.

“Well,” Ashton says, finishing off the last of his hot chocolate. “I never thought I’d say this, but thank fucking God my flight got delayed.”

Luke’s answering smile makes Ashton feel slightly giddy.

-------

When they get back to Michael about an hour later, the sky is starting to brighten, and Michael’s fast asleep, having stolen Luke’s pillow.

“The bastard,” Luke says in a low voice, pointing it out to Ashton as he sets the brownie down carefully next to Michael. “What if I wanted to sleep?”

“Given that our flight’s leaving in, like, two hours, I think you’re a bit fucked on that front,” Ashton says.

“Don’t underestimate me,” Luke says. “I can fall asleep anywhere.”

“Perks of living such an extravagant, jetsetting lifestyle,” Ashton says solemnly, and Luke snorts.

“There have to be some perks in commuting from London to LA,” he says. “I’ll have to sleep on the flight.”

“Ooh, no,” Ashton says, wincing. “You can’t sleep on the flight. You’ll wake up after an hour and a half of unsatisfying sleep with a bad taste in your mouth and a stiff neck.”

“True,” Luke says, “but we’re supposed to have band practice today.”

“You practice out there?” Ashton asks.

“Yeah,” Luke says. “Cal’s already out there – he’s been recording bass for some ska band – so Michael and I are meeting up with him this afternoon for practice.”

“How do you practice without a drummer?” Ashton wants to know.

“GarageBand,” Luke says, and Ashton winces.

“Oh, no,” he says, emphatically. “I can’t be having my beloved instrument reduced to GarageBand.”

“Hey,” Luke says, mock-affronted. “GarageBand comes a lot cheaper than drummers.”

“Cheaper than a can of coke?” Ashton asks, grinning. Luke grins back, and then looks like he’s suddenly been struck by inspiration.

“Hey, wait-” he fumbles around in his bag for a few seconds, and then tosses the can of coke he’d bought earlier at Ashton.

“You’re in the band now,” he says. “I hope you’re good.” Ashton laughs.

“I might only be worth a diet coke,” he tells Luke, pocketing the coke.

“Hey,” another voice says sleepily – Michael. “Where’m I?”

“Airport, Mike,” Luke says patiently.

“Oh,” Michael says, rubbing his eyes. “Where’s Cal?”

“In LA,” Luke says.

“Oh,” Michael says, sounding a little sad.

“That’s where we’re heading,” Luke reassures him.

“Oh,” Michael says, a little happier, dragging himself into a seated position. He rubs his eyes, again, and then blinks at them blearily. “You’re Ashton,” he says to Ashton.

“I am,” Ashton says.

“You’re a drummer,” Michael says.

“I am,” Ashton says.

“You should join our band,” Michael says.

“I have,” Ashton says.

“What?” Michael says. Ashton holds up the can of coke.

“My payment,” he explains. “Meet the new drummer of-”

“5 Seconds of Summer,” Luke supplies.

“-5 Seconds of Summer,” Ashton finishes.

“I don’t even know your last name,” Michael says.

“I don’t know yours either,” Ashton says.

“Clifford,” Michael says.

“Irwin,” Ashton says.

“Like Steve Irwin?” Ashton groans.

“Yes, like Steve Irwin, no, I’m not his son, not at all related, don’t even like animals that much,” he says.

“Are you good?” Michael asks, disregarding Ashton entirely.

“I mean, I’m a session drummer,” Ashton says. “Draw your own conclusions.”

“Great,” Michael says happily. “We have practice this afternoon.”

“I already told him,” Luke says, and turns to Ashton. “Three p.m. I’ll pick you up.” Ashton grins at him, butterflies in his stomach.

“You’re going to have to give him your number, then, Ashton,” Michael says, watching the interaction between the two of them.

“I probably should,” Ashton agrees, holding his hand out for Luke’s phone. Luke passes it to him, and Ashton types in his number, saving himself as Better Drummer Than Garageband.

“Thank fuck,” Michael says, “because he’s been wanting to give it to you all evening. He thinks you’re cute.”  

“You’re behind the times, Mikey,” Luke says. “We’re going on a date.”

“I’m cooking him dinner,” Ashton tells Michael.

“What the fuck?” Michael demands. “When was this decided?”

“When you were sleeping,” Luke says. “On my pillow, by the way.”

“It’s so fucking small,” Michael says, chucking it at Luke, before rounding on Ashton. “I can’t believe I missed you asking Luke on a date. I’m never sleeping again.” Ashton’s saved from answering by an announcement cutting through loudly on the speakers.

“May I have your attention for flight BA8227,” a lady says. “This flight is now ready for boarding for rows twenty through thirty-one.”

“Oh, thank fuck,” Ashton says, shoving his things haphazardly into his backpack. “Where are you guys sat?”

“Uh, row twenty-one,” Luke says, stopping his packing to check his ticket. “You?”

“Thirty-nine,” Ashton says. “But I’m running to the queue as soon as they let me.”

“I’m going to the toilet, Luke,” Michael says. “Save me a space in the queue.”

“Take your fucking bag!” Luke shouts after him, and Michael flips him off as he speedwalks off to the toilets. Luke rolls his eyes, and turns back to Ashton.

“Want a hand carrying Michael’s things?” Ashton offers.

“Would you?” Luke says. “Thanks, Ashton.” Ashton permits himself a private smile at the way his name sounds in Luke’s voice.

They shove everything in their bags as quickly as possible and jog over to the queue, which is already at least fifteen people deep, but is moving, which is something.

“Hey,” Michael says, strolling over to them. “Thanks for bringing my stuff.”

“Bastard,” Luke tells him, and Michael grins.

“You love me,” he says. “You’re not boarding with us, are you, Ashton?” Ashton shakes his head.

“Just providing a bag-carrying service,” he says.

“Luke’ll give you your tip,” Michael says, kicking his bag forward as the queue moves. Luke doesn’t move, though, and neither does Ashton.

“See you in LA, then,” Ashton says to Luke, and Luke grins.

“See you,” he echoes, and Ashton, who’s had approximately three-and-a-half hours sleep, can’t help himself – he leans in, tiptoes slightly, and presses a soft kiss to the corner of Luke’s lips.

“See you at practice,” Ashton says, leaning back, and relishing the flush on Luke’s cheeks. He desperately wants to lean in again, kiss Luke for real, but he stops himself. He only met the guy, like, eight hours ago, and he’s already joined his band and invited him over for a dinner date. “Text me.” Luke holds his phone up.

“I will,” he says. “I’ll text you as soon as we land.”

“Good,” Ashton says. “Now go, get on the plane.” Luke nods, throws Ashton one last smile, and steps forward to join Michael, who’s clearly been listening to their conversation.

“See you later, Michael,” Ashton calls, as he walks away.

“Don’t be late for practice!” Michael shouts back, and Ashton grins, and shakes his head.

-------

Half an hour later, Ashton’s finally on the plane. His backpack’s underneath the seat in front of him, his headphones are in, and he’s going to be home in just under twelve hours. And, perhaps even better than all of that, he’s going on a date with the hottest man alive.

As if on cue, his phone interrupts his music with a ding, and Ashton fishes it out of his pocket.

+447568392881 I know I said I’d text as soon as we landed, but I saw this really hot guy boarding the plane and I just had to tell you about him

Ashton grins.

Me Oh?  

Luke Yeah, he’s got this curly hair, gorgeous hazel eyes, about six foot, in incredible shape? You can’t miss him.

Me You could see his eyes from the plane? What are you, Hawkeye?

Luke Way to ruin the moment

Me Well, I’m just thinking – curly hair, gorgeous eyes, six foot (definitely a bit of a lowball estimate), in incredible shape – I saw a guy just like that earlier, only he had blue eyes.

Luke You’ll have to point him out to me when we land.

Me I will – I’ll be thinking about him for the whole flight.

It takes a while for the next message to come through, and the plane’s already gearing up to take off when his phone finally dings again.

Luke He’ll be thinking about you too.

[lostincalum]

Nothing Flashed Before My Eyes- Michael Clifford AU

AN: It’s here, without being queer (I’m sorry I had to) after months i have finally finished this monstrosity, idk what to say tbh. But if you do read I hope you enjoy and leave a coment if you enjoyed. 

TW: schizofrenia, attempted suicide, self harm, alcoholism (i promise i have tried to describe them as neutral as I could)

Word count: 8k (issa long boi from me)

“Nothing flashed before my eyes.”

I spoke softly as I stared up at the sterile white of the roof.

“What do you mean?”

He asked carefully, as though I would shatter and the world would collapse if he spoke any louder.

“When I took the pills…”

Suddenly the words were harder to speak, my throat clogging up. I looked at him, straight  into his eyes. His cold, emerald- eyes. It seems like he has lost all hope for me. 

“… everything kind of just stopped for a minute. And then I went to bed, hoping to never wake up. But there was no pretty angels, and no bright light, just nothing”

He looked at me, as if I had just told him God and heaven didn’t exist. I suppose I had. Then he walked out the door. Not looking back once. 

----

Walking through the doors to the psych ward is scary. I’ve been to a couple before, but this place feels different, and I don’t get why I’m here. It looks too stupid expensive. With the soft white walls and view over the city. With the stupid billowing curtains and stupid leather couches. It looks like a normal house, except really big and spacious. I hate it already. 

When my mum puts her hand on my shoulder, it feels like the weight of the world is dropped there. And while I know it is meant to be a comforting gesture, I can’t help but think that I don’t want anyone else to touch me today. I feel suffocated in the openness of the building, that I know my step-dad paid his way into.

“Hi and welcome to Hollywood Heights treatment centre.”- 

I turn at the sound of a female voice that is way too happy for this place, and I’m met with the blue eyes of a petite lady. The only way for me to spot that she is in fact not a patient is her ID card that is fastened at her belt hoop. Her brown hair is short and spiky. 

Mum rushes forward, taking her hand off of my shoulder, but leaving the weight, to shake the hand of the lady. 

“Hey, I’m Mary, thank you so much for taking in my daughter. We appreciate it so much.” 

I give her a tight lipped smile. 

“Oh, there are no worries Mary! and you must be Riley?” 

She directs the question at me, and I nod quietly, letting my eyes flicker over the flowers that are spread across the different surfaces in the entrance and reception area. 

“Well, let’s just get you officially admitted, and we can begin the little tour.” 

I have a sinking feeling this is gonna be anything but a “little” tour. 

----

After thirty minutes of walking around the house and being shown every possible nook and cranny as well as its function, I have some time in my room. 

Mum left a couple of minutes ago after she got a call from work, that she was needed. Immediately of course. 

I start unpacking my bag, it isn’t a lot, mostly sweatpants and long sleeves. But I also brought my laptop and a few different chargers. I sit down on the not too hard mattress of the bed and stare at the annoyingly soft, white colour of the wall, until it isn’t white anymore. 

The wall isn’t white, it’s red. Trails of red teardrops slither down the wall in front of me. I watch as it reaches the floor and starts sliding towards my bed, the bed where I’m sitting, as if the floor is tilted. 

This isn’t gonna end well for you, dear. 

Slowly I find the pattern and as my heart skips a beat, my converse clad feet jump around the floor as I try to reach the door. When I finally do, and twist the door handle, I slam it shut behind me. Leaning against the door, it feels like my knees are about to give out underneath me and my eyes are way to warm and stingy. 

“You alright?” 

I whip my head around and suddenly my eyes are met with a pair of green ones. I can’t quite make them out ‘cause of the fringe covering one of his eyes, and the dark pupil of his other eye. But I’m positive that his eyes are green. I quickly look behind me as I turn around, pulling the sleeves of my loose henley down my arms, and start walking away. 

“I’m fine,” my voice comes out somewhat smothered, but I don’t hear any footsteps following me. I just hear the thud of something dropping to the ground. I don’t turn around. I don’t want to turn around. But I do. And I find his head cocked ever so slightly to the side, but still attached to his neck. 

Got you, hahaha 

“Fuck you,” I mumble to myself, turning around for the second time and continuing to walk god knows where. 

-------

I find myself in the music room. Out of all the things I hate here, I really hate this place the most. I love music so much, but they’ve managed to make this even this room feel strange. It’s not that they’ve not put any effort into it. They’ve overdone it. A lot of the places I’ve been to before have had instruments and music rooms, but this is too over the top. Brand new drum kits, never used guitars, both acoustic and electric, and a selection of basses that have never been touched. The ivory keys of the grand piano have barely been played. That’s the moment I know that’s where I’ll be spending most of my time. Wearing in all the instruments. 

Coincidentally that is also where I am disturbed first. I jump a little when I hear crackling coming from the corner of the room. The voice belongs to Linda, the lady who showed me around when I arrived. 

“If all patients would come to the kitchen, dinner is about to be served.” 

I sigh and walk out of the room, headed for the kitchen area. When I’m in the stairs I pass by a tall blonde with curly hair and a bright smile. However, it is bright in a different way than what Linda had. More like friendly, which I find hard to believe in, considering where I’m at. 

“Hey, you must be Riley, right?” 

She puts forward a hand, expecting me to shake it. I just nod, but it doesn’t seem to affect her, as she puts her hand back into the pocket of her jeans, but continues to talk.

“I’m Lucy, I’ll be your psychiatrist while you stay here, I have to go right now, but enjoy your dinner, and I’ll see that you get a message tomorrow for our first official session.” 

I nod again, and as I start to walk down the stairs, she doesn’t call after me, doesn’t stop me, she just lets me go. And I appreciate that. 

When I get to the kitchen, it is bustling with something that looks like life. I find it a little bit funny, that something that is so depressing in the media, is so lively in real life. A couple of girls are chatting beside each other and a boy and a girl look like they are sitting a little too close to each other, because not a second later Linda is pulling the girl away from the boy. 

I stand in the entrance and watch as a man puts two pots containing some sort of stew in it on the table, it doesn’t smell bad. 

The only spot left by the table is in front of a guy in a black hoodie, that he has pulled over his head, but I swear I can see his blonde fringe from here. I step further into the room and a round, tall man introduces himself to me as Johnny.

Maybe we should cut his head open and put a mixer in his brain.

“Or maybe not,” all I do is hope that no one hears me whispering as I walk to the open spot.  

Carefully I sit down in front of the boy in the black hoodie, and start fiddling with the fork. He looks up from his phone when he hears me picking up the fork. To be honest I expect him to look at me with sort of an insulted look, but he doesn’t. His eyes, albeit a bit sad, are filled with curiosity. 

“Hey, I’m Michael,” he smiles as he reaches out his right hand. 

“Riley’s the name,” I look at him, shaking his hand briefly but firmly and go back to playing with the fork. 

“You want a little tip for staying here?” Michael says as his eyes dance over my appearance. He continues to do so, until he notices my eyes, and pulls the hood of his sweater down. 

“Sure,” the fact that I’m constantly avoiding his eyes; must be annoying for him. I must seem like the most arrogant person he has ever met. Yet he continues to talk to me. 

“Keep something to yourself, not something big or scary. But something, a dream, a hope, a fantasy, just for yourself. That way you can keep a part of you.”

He looks at me with these deep green eyes, and for the first time in a while, green doesn’t make me feel sick and empty. It doesn’t make me feel as excited as before, more on the safe side. 

You still don’t get it? nowhere is safe for you, I will ruin anything and everything for you.

I roll my eyes as he whispers in you ear, his hands on my shoulders pressing down harder. To get rid of the feeling I roll my shoulders and try to focus on the conversation as well as my surroundings. 

“Why? aren’t we supposed to do as they say and answer every question?”

 It feels like a stupid question, because what he is saying makes sense, to me at least. A small, but tired smile makes it way onto his lips. 

“Common misconception, but no. If you do that, they have the knowledge to persuade, control, almost own you. Not everyone knows all of themselves, but you seem like you do.” 

The cheeky wink he sends me doesn’t go unnoticed, but as a bowl of pasta is set down in front of us, he engages in a conversation on his left side. 

“How you doing Sandra, everything go well in your session today?”

To be honest, Michael seemed like the person that took care amongst the patients. Like he wanted to make sure that everyone was alright. As he talked to Sandra, I could tell that he genuinely cared about what she had to say. 

“Okay, everyone, get ready for grace.” 

Johnny announces as he sits down at the head of the table, opposite to the side where me and Michael are sitting. Everyone reaches their hands out and as the girl to my right reaches out a hand I hold it carefully, not really wanting to be touched more than necessary. Michael reaches out a hand, and I think he gets it, cause he holds me gingerly, but without fear. Like he isn’t scared that I’ll break any second. 

After we finish grace, Johnny stands up and looks at me, with a kind smile. 

“So everyone, we have a new patient here today, her name is Riley. Give her a warm welcome, and take care of eachother.”

I pull my hands into my sweater sleeves and give them all a nod as they all look at me. Some of them nodding back. The girl Michael was talking to even let out a little “hi”.  

---------

Being social has always been difficult for me, and as I sit here in my bedroom, I have no idea of what to do with myself. I’m sat in the only chair in the room. It’s hard plastic and I can tell it is going to annoy me for a while. I don’t wanna look at the wall anymore so I pick up my phone and start scrolling through different media. 

On all of them, he is there, looking so fucking innocent, too fucking innocent. Like he has moved on from what I did to myself, what I did to us. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that he is ignoring it like this, so easy. 

There are two sharp raps on the door, and it opens, invading my space and making me jump slightly. Linda is standing in the doorway, with her bright fake smile on her lips. 

“Hi, Riley group therapy starts in three minutes, you should come-” she smiles at me.

“It is mandatory, but if you don’t feel like going your first day that’s alright too.” It feels like she is trying to force me to go with her eyes. 

“Nah, I think I’ll go next time.” 

At last you get something right 

“Okay, please let us know if there is something we can do for you.” Linda says before she closes the door behind her, leaving me alone with my own head. 

----

I go to sleep shortly after getting my medicine handed to me from Johnny. Here, like all other institutions we aren’t allowed to have our own medicine at our own disposal. And I think that might be a good thing.

------

I wake up still rattled from a nightmare. My alarm is still blaring beside me and I turn to shut it off, just as there is a knock on my door. Linda walks in not a second later. 

“Breakfast is in five minutes, you’ve slept in for long enough now.” 

The fake smile, everything about her ticks me off, especially her condescending tone of voice. I just nod and start getting out of bed, she stares at my thighs and I know she has seen the scars that litter the top of them. I’m just glad I still have my long sleeve covering my arms. 

“I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.” 

Linda walks out of my room, but still throws a last glance at my thighs. Looking as if they suddenly might attack her or come alive. As the door shuts behind her I look down at my legs, feeling ashamed.

You deserve these, after all you did it to yourself. 

“No, you made me do this, you said-”

And you listened. Honestly, one would think you to be stronger. 

“Yeah? Fuck you”.

I go about my routine, which is basically changing my top and putting on deodorant. I also put on a pair of sweatpants and socks before going out the door and to the kitchen on the first floor. 

When I exit I also see another person closing her door. I recognize her as Sandra. The girl Michael was talking to at dinner yesterday. She looks at me and smiles, and starts heading for me. 

“Hi, are you ready for breakfast?” 

She smiles at me. Her body is covered in a big knit sweater and baggy jeans, like she is trying to hide herself from the world.  

You could just grab a kitchen knife and stab her between her ribs.

I close my eyes for less than a second and look at her, seeing her tired eyes and messy hair. In that second I can’t help but think that her and I will be good friends. 

“Yeah, I think so. You?”

We start walking towards the kitchen and I feel the weight on my shoulders pressing me down. 

“Not really, but I can’t give up now.” 

Sandra looks down at her feet, which causes me to ask her a question out of curiosity. 

“What do you mean?” 

She looks at me nervously, before she starts talking again. 

“Well, I’m not that good at eating? I suppose.” 

I nod trying to come across as understanding, as she looks at me like she expects me to come up with some big ol’ scream, instead I decide to “become even”. 

“It’s quite alright, I’m not that good at living.” 

And I think this was one of the best things I could have said, cause she smiles at me and lets out a little giggle, as we enter the kitchen. Everyone else seems to be there, at least the people from yesterday, I still haven’t talked to anyone else though. 

Sandra and I sit down at the same places as we sat yesterday at dinner. She is immediately engaged in a conversation with the same guy from yesterday, the one she was pulled away from. He leans in for a hug and her frame is engulfed by his rather muscular one. With red tinted cheeks she turns to look at me. 

“Chris, this is Riley.”

Chris leans back in his seat, with an arm thrown around the back of Sandra’s chair. He looks at me kind of judgey before giving me a nod of approval, at least that’s what it looks like. I give him a nod back, but before he can say anything our attention is pulled towards two girls entering the kitchen. One of them looks like she has been crying and the other holds a comforting hand on her back as they sit down beside me. 

They’re here to kill you 

Yeah right, and I’m here to listen to you….

-----

After breakfast, as I’m headed up the stairs, I hear soft chords coming from the music room. Someone is strumming a guitar and it’s like I’m hearing music for the first time. Not only music but one of the prettiest voices I have ever heard is singing along to the song. 

I have a vague feeling in the pit of my stomach that I know who is playing. I walk closer to the open doors, and as I see Michael sitting on the floor playing the guitar that previously hung on the wall, I kind of melt a little. His fringe and the little crease between his brows, it’s all very enamoring. 

“I’m alright, I’m Okay, I’m alright I’m okay, I’m not a monster just a human and I’ve made a few mistakes.”

Not gonna happen for you though. 

We’ll see about that, I think to myself. 

He sings the words so carefully like he doesn’t quite believe them. He finishes the song and looks up, seeing me in the doorway. Immediately the frown is back, but not as enamouring, more suspicious. It almost hides the blush that is lightly covering his cheeks. 

“Sorry, I can come back later.” 

I say as he puts the guitar down and gets up. 

“No no, do you play?” he inquires, seemingly having gathered himself. 

“Ehh, a little bit of everything.” I answer as he looks at me. 

Not as well as you like to think.  

I roll my eyes as I look down on the floor, hoping he doesn’t see. 

“A little bit of everything eh?” Michael says. 

“Yeah, I was taught the piano from a young age, and a bit of bass and guitar. Drums aren’t the worst, but anything that makes me use my mouth to make it work isn't for me to play, how about you though?”  I say as he stares at me quizzically. 

“Well I’m self taught at guitar so I can’t really write or read music, but I still like to think I know how to.” 

He stares down at his feet a little bashfully. 

“Well, you have a good voice, it’s strong and vulnerable at the same time. I really like the song you were playing as well.” 

“You do? I haven’t actually written it myself it’s called ‘It’s alright’ by-” 

“Mother Mother, I know. I really like it.” 

We stare at each other for  a second before we both burst out in giggles. It’s been a while since I have smiled like this.  

You know this won’t last.

---------

Group therapy is the first thing that happens that week. It’s always between breakfast and lunch. And I walk from the music room with Michael right after the call comes on the radio thing that crackles in the corner of the room. We walk side by side until we come to the hallway with all the bedrooms in it. He stops by the door that is closest to the stairs, three doors down from me. 

“You aren’t going to group therapy?” 

I ask, and hope the disappointment isn’t as obvious in my voice as it feels. 

“Nah, I don’t do group.” 

Michael says with a secretive, yet tired smile, and I decide not to press the matter, even though it felt like a weird  thing to come from him, considering how caring of the others he seems to be. 

“Well, I’ll see you at dinner then.” 

He nods as he opens the door and I take that as my cue to leave. 

-----

“Hello and welcome back to group therapy. For some of us, this is the first time we’re here, others have been here before.” 

Lucy starts off the session with everyone I’ve seen sitting in a circle and it looks more like an AA meeting than anything else. 

“Since we have a new patient here today I think we should all take turns and say what’s on our minds.” 

She smiles at us, and it doesn’t seem as fake as it could have been. 

“Why don’t you start Riley?” 

With the friendly smile she gives me, I should have been able to meet her gaze, but a big, looming, black figure is standing behind her, so I opt to look at my feet instead. 

“Well, hi, my name is Riley and today I don’t feel much like living, like most days.” 

My voice comes out tired and drawn out, and I can see Lucy crossing her legs and readying her notepad in anticipation.

------

The days go like this, we do group therapy as well as one on one, and I discover that Lucy isn’t like most other psychiatrists. She listens when I talk, and helps me figure out different kinds of things. It is probably in my journal, but she hasn’t asked about the voices yet. And I prefer it like that. 

I have also started to connect more with Michael. We both sit in the music room and wear in all the instruments, although the most frequently used ones are the piano and guitars. He has the sweetest voice when he sings: vulnerable, but still confident.

A few days ago he let me follow his instagram, and ever since I have been staring, wondering how to read him. He seems so different from the person he is here. Always surrounded by friends and always laughing it seems. Yet there is something that still bothers me. He always seems to be at a party. The glassed over look in his eyes, and the red cup in his hand. The photos seem to be posted in a small time frame, almost like he’s partying every other day. And suddenly I get what has been right in front of me since I first saw his instagram. At least I think I do. 

One day we are sitting in the music room and it’s right before dinner. That’s when I decide to address my own thoughts. 

“Michael, can I ask you something?” 

He looks at me, like he always does, with these understanding, green eyes of his. So patient and calm. Like the green water that comes from glacier ice. We’re sat beside each other on the piano stool after playing around on the grand piano. 

“You know you can ask me anything, right Riles?” 

Michael bumps my knee with his, as he gives me one of his most reassuring smiles. And I feel the lump in my chest grow. 

“Well, I was just wondering-”

I hate this, I should back down, but I can’t stop now and before I can really think it through the words tumble out of my mouth. 

“Do you have an alcohol problem?” 

And the shift is immediate. His body goes rigid, he stops fiddling with the keys on the piano and his brows furrow. 

“Not that question though, that is none of your business.”

I can see him shutting me out. He gets up just as Linda’s voice crackles through the room, calling us to dinner. Before I know it he has slammed the door to the music room shut, making me jump. 

How did you really think this would go? That he would open up to you and cry on your shoulder? You really are more stupid than we thought. 

The weight that had been lightening on my shoulder immediately goes back to crushing me, and regret is all I feel. What if I have ruined our friendship?

Probably. 

When I enter the kitchen everyone is already seated and saying grace. I decide not to intrude as they complete. Opting to watch everyone else holding hands and in varying degrees keeping up with Linda who is leading grace. 

They finish and once I get to the table and sit down on my usual spot, Linda scowls at me. I don’t really care for it. Just the fact that Michael doesn’t even look up when my chair scrapes across the floor, I hate it. I hate it so much. 

Sandra looks at me quizzically. Usually me and Michael come down together from the music room, or we talk about music or books or anything that crosses our minds. The fact that he won’t even look at me is unusual to say the least. Which causes the entire dinner to be awkward. It’s like we have thrown the entire house off. Or I. I guess I did this. 

Of course you did, who else?

----

Michael is the first to leave dinner, and I follow shortly after. I go straight to my room to get dressed. There is a little swing in the garden which overlooks the entire city, and I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I need some fresh air. 

I just throw on a hoodie and grab my ear buds, putting them in my ears as I walk down the stairs and out the door.

I sit down on the porch swing in the garden and find a good loud song to shut out all my thoughts. I must have been sitting here for a few minutes when Sandra sits down beside me, making me jump a little. 

“How are you?” 

She asks this so softly, and I pull out my ear buds. 

“Not too good to be honest.”

Her hands fiddle with the ends of her scarf as she looks at me.

“I figured, wanna talk about it?” 

I can feel myself wanting to let it all out. I feel lonely already without the tiny touches from Michael. Fuck. 

“I just, I don’t know, I think I might have made a big mistake.”

Sandra looks at me, gives me one of those looks, that says she already knows what this is about, but she has the decency to ask me anyway. 

“What’s going on?” 

Sighing feels like the only thing I can do. 

“I, well it isn’t my place to tell, but I asked Michael something that I shouldn’t have asked about, and now he is mad at me. And I mean, he has every right to be angry, but it hurts.” 

This time it is Sandra’s turn to sigh. 

“You asked him why he’s here?”

“Something along those lines.” 

“You should know Riley, that he has been here longer than most of us, and the walls he has built are so tall. When Chris first came here, he didn’t really understand why Michael was here. So he lashed out, and kept yelling about how Michael didn’t deserve to be here, and how he was more of an employee here than a patient. It definitely took a toll on him, even though Chris has apologized.”

“Do you know why he is here?” 

I can’t stop myself from asking. I know I shouldn’t, but the words already slipped out of my mouth. 

“No, I figured we all have our reasons and he doesn’t have to share them if he doesn’t feel like it, we owe him at least that.” 

The sun is setting now, and the light reflects on us making warm hues glimmer across the city beneath us, as well as Sandra’s cheeks. Her hair looks like a black halo with golden edges. 

“Yeah, maybe I should go apologize?” 

“No-” she turns to look at me. 

“You shouldn’t apologize, he needs to be asked this sort of questions  if he ever wants to learn to live with whatever he is dealing with.” 

I can’t help but agree with what she is saying.  

-----

Lucy has one of the few nice rooms in the building, her office is more welcoming than I ever thought a psychiatric office could be. There is a good, comfortable two seat sofa in one corner of the room. Her desk is neat, but looks lived in for some reason. It’s like she has been here for a good part of her life. With a pair of running shoes, a couple of jackets hanging on the hooks by the door. But my most favourite thing about her office is the window though, which has a good look over the wild side behind the house. 

That is where I’m looking when Lucy says my name, probably for the second time.

“Riley, how are you? You seem very distracted today.”

I look down at my hands, wondering how I’m gonna phrase this. 

“I am.” 

She cocks her head to the side, indicating for me to continue. I can’t though, it always has been easier for me to answer questions than to just tell someone what’s wrong.

“I noticed you and Michael haven’t been hanging out? it seemed like the two of you got a really good connection, what’s happened?” 

“We can talk about anything else, just not that, not right now.” 

And in this moment I swear I think she really cares. 

But why would she care about you?

“Your suicide attempt then? The nurses wrote that you had a visitor when you woke up?” 

Of course, it had to come eventually, I’m just surprised it took her this long.

“Yeah, there was.” 

“Who was he?” 

“Well since you know it’s a boy, you probably also know who he was to me.” 

She looks at me with these really sad eyes. It’s pity, I know it’s pity, and I feel nauseous. 

“I do, he’s mentioned in your papers a lot.” 

“God, I know, I was so stupid back then.” 

I sigh, trying to avoid the lump in the back of my throat. 

“You weren’t stupid.” 

“No, I was in love, and I hated it and it’s not gonna- it can’t happen again.” 

I can hear myself, how pathetic I sound, and I can’t stop the tears from streaming out of my eyes, and down my cheeks.

“Riley, you are never stupid for having feelings.” 

She sounds so stupid, so naive when she says that. She probably married her first love. I can see the ring on her finger, just taunting me by showing me what I can’t ever have. 

Now you’re starting to get it. 

“I am though, ‘cause it’s always the wrong feeling, or too much of it, too little, whatever it is, it’s never right.” 

Lucy crosses and uncrosses her legs before speaking up again. 

“So you’ve decided to not feel?” 

Her saying this, it feels a bit like an insult, cause here I am, crying trying to bare my soul to her. And she accuses me of trying to not feel?

“Oh I feel, I’m heartbroken, and sad and scared, I’m frustrated and desperate.” 

---

After my session with Lucy I’m tired, so when the screaming from my room increases I’m not really surprised. What surprises me is that they are screaming for mercy now. I don’t know what to do, but I can hear the most graphic noises coming from behind my door. The cries for help increase, as does the laughter. And just like that, I’m in tears for the second time today. 

This time however, it’s different. I’m alone and the voices I know are just in my head, sound too real to be fantasy. I slide down the wall, not wanting to go inside my room, in fear of what I’ll meet. A mantra begins to escape my lips and I close my eyes while patting all my pockets for my earbuds. 

“Please just stop, please just stop, please just stop,” escapes me over and over. 

Suddenly, like lightning from clear sky I feel a presence sitting down beside me. His voice is calm as he says, “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.” 

Michael is sitting beside me, I know him by his rough voice and the scent of him, laundry detergent, encompasses me entirely. My room goes quieter, and I start to get my bearings again. Wiping my eyes, I stand up and look at Michael. His eyes are red rimmed and he looks tired, but there is something familiar about it. His drooping, squinty eyes, for some reason he looks hungover. He can’t possibly be. 

“I should probably, I mean, I’ll see you around.”

I stutter out, before I say something I shouldn’t. And before he has the time to respond I open the door and slip in. Not without missing the soft “fuck” he lets out, which makes me wonder if i have made a mistake. 

When don’t you make mistakes?

I lean my back against the door, and sigh looking towards the bathroom, feeling the need for release really fast. 

---

I get a snap from Sandra, whilst I’m sitting on the bathroom floor. It’s a picture of the living room, and if I squint I can see Johnny in the background of the screen. I put the camera of the phone down on my jeans and take a black picture. With shaking hands I type:

“Can you ask Johnny to come to my room?”

A few seconds later I get back a picture of Johnny exiting the living room with the text: “On his way, you alright?” 

Before I have the time to respond there is a nock on my door, before it opens. 

“Where are you Riley?” 

His calm and steady voice made me feel worse. How the fuck am I supposed to explain this. 

“Bathroom, you can come in.” 

I feel the tears burning behind my eyes again, and the short relief I felt is gone, replaced with regret. Johnny stands in the doorway looking at me before taking another step closer and turning my wrist up to assess the damage I have done to myself. 

“Okay, I’ll get you stitched up and then we can talk about what has happened?” 

All I can do is nod my head as he helps me stand up. He folds a towel over my arms, tells me to cross them and then we head for the medical room. It is just down the hall, and I suspect that it’s no coincidence that it’s placed so close to the patient rooms. 

Luckily we don’t pass anyone in the hallway, and I think I’m in the clear. 

I lay on the medical chair as Johnny administrates the local anesthesia. It feels like something is stinging underneath my skin, until it all goes numb. 

“I didn’t know you were allowed to stitch people up here?” 

Conversation is a desperate attempt at distraction for me, but I’m grateful that he goes along with it anyway. 

“Yeah, it’s just me and a few others who have the training though.” 

He says as he methodically works his way through the routine I have witnessed too many times. 

“How did you get the training, was it hard?” 

Johnny is one of the very few who don’t use the rolling chair as he preps everything, but he has left it by the side of my reclined seat. 

“Well, the military is pretty hard most would say, but as I learned things got easier, and when it’s all about saving a brother in arms, I suddenly just knew how to apply the things we had learned as recruits.” 

This I kind of saw coming, but not the medic part. His burly build and calm exterior always reminded me of my father, who was a tank driver. 

“My dad was in the armed forces, he died there too.” 

Johnny turns around and rolls the tray with the needle and thread over. He then sits down on the chair and threads the needle as he talks. 

“I’m sorry to hear, when did this happen?” 

The weird thing is that this conversation doesn’t feel forced, even though this is something I hate talking about. 

“I was like ten I think? So about ten years ago.” 

Johnny nods, and it feels like he knows what he knows what I’m talking about. I realise that he has probably read it in my file, but it doesn’t bother me as much as it should, after all he knows how it is. 

We continue to talk about all of this while he stitches me up. When he finishes up he suggests to me to take a nap to which I agree. Johnny puts on some huge medical bandages and follows me back to my room, which has been cleaned. I suspect Johnny sent a message to someone. 

———

I’m woken up by aching in my arm and a cursed knocking on my door. Linda walks in before i can even say “come in”. I couldn’t have even if I wanted to. My throat feels dry as Linda sits down beside me. 

“Come on, get up! it’s time for breakfast.” 

And it’s so typical her, to not ask me how I’m doing, no sympathy. And for the first time in a while I don’t feel so choked. Perhaps for the wrong reasons, but the feeling of being treated like a normal person, no matter what I did yesterday.. it sort of feels good actually.

However, I’m not gonna let her know that so I just silently nod while sitting up in the bed. 

When I come down to the kitchen everybody is already there, except for one person. Judging by the chair that pushed back from the table, Michael has already left. 

As people sit and chat I go over to the counter and start making myself a cup of tea. Tea making and drinking is a part of being inpatient no one told me about, although I suppose it’s different for everyone. It has just become a thing I do everyday several times. 

With my sweater pawed hands holding the tea cup, I’m sitting here listening to the other patients talk, smiling at the appropriate moments and sometimes laughing a bit. And in contrast to the last couple of weeks, it doesn’t feel entirely forced. 

———

It’s late in the evening, I have walked past the porch and over to the edge of the garden, behind a tree. It shields from the view of the windows of the house and I’ve never actually been here. But it looks peaceful so I sit down at the base of the tree and overlook the city. I still can’t believe I agreed to this. Being so far away from all that I knew physically hasn’t changed me mentally, no matter how much mum wishes it did. She calls sometimes, but I feel like I would have to lie to her every time so i don’t answer at all. I know she still gets weekly reports when she calls the office lady, even though I never quite figured out where she has her office. 

“Hey there.” 

I look up and I’m met with emerald green eyes, hidden behind a pair of glasses I’ve never seen Michael wear. He doesn’t ask permission or anything before he sits down. I suppose he doesn’t have too either. 

“Hey, I can leave if you want some time alone or something.” 

The words fall out of my mouth before I have the time or sense to think them through, and sooner than I expected I’m standing up. Until I’m not anymore. My hands are firmly planted in the ground behind my back, upper body bent and ready to get up, when I feel his calloused palm holding onto my wrist. It’s too close, I know it is. And again, I act too quickly. This time by pulling my hand towards myself, thereby sitting back down. 

“Please stay. Unless you don’t want to of course.” 

And it hurts. God it hurts to just hear the hurt and resignation in his voice. 

“No no, I’ll stay.”

For the first time that evening I really, really take a good look at him. He looks tired, more so that usual. With a beanie covering his messy hair, dark circles under his eyes, and a beard that hasn’t been shaved in a couple of days. 

“I have a feeling we have a lot to talk about.” 

Michael sighs, and I know he dreads the conversation by the way his fingers immediately go to the strings of his hoodie, fiddling with them incessantly, when I tell him. 

“Yeah, I suppose I owe you an explanation.” 

He is still looking at his hands, as if searching for answers. 

“You don’t owe me anything Michael, but I will take an explanation if you want to tell me?” 

Again he sighs, probably debating how much he should tell me.

“Well, this is gonna be messy, but I just want to try to explain this so you can better understand why I act  the way I do.” 

Michael pulls his legs up to his chest and puts his hand on his knee. For the first time in a long long while I seek contact first. I put my hand on his and give it what I hope is an encouraging squeeze. Before I wrap my arms around myself again. 

“You know as well as I do that treatment at this place isn’t for the poor, or even the middle class, it is kind of  stupid really, how they leave treatment for those well off, fucking ridiculous.” 

Carefully I speak his name and he looks at me. 

“Right, sorry. My dad is a really successful businessman, and we were always well off, but I think it came with its consequences. As I grew up, I was surrounded by all these rich bastards who were always looking for a deal, and I was a part of the picture perfect family. Except we weren’t.”

He looks away from his hands and up at the sky, I follow his gaze and see a few tiny little stars. A shadow flickers in the corner of my eyes, and I know it’s not real, and it gives me a little sting of fear anyways. 

“I mean, sure we had everything we could ever ask for, except maye love. My mum and dad were constantly fighting behind closed doors and I grew up listening to them. She started doing more business meetings further away from me and my father, and I was so angry with my father for driving her away. So I started distancing myself, I can’t have been older than eighteen.”

I shuffle a little closer to Michael, feeling his warmth through his hoodie. Hoping it comforts him, but also that the shadow won’t see me. 

“When you started…” 

I’m not sure how much I can say to Michael without him getting angry, so I let the ending of the sentence hang in the air for a while. 

“When I started drinking. It didn’t really start as an issue where I consciously went looking for solace in alcohol, but as I partied more and more, and found some sort of relief in it, i actively sought it out. I don’t remember a lot of the last couple of years, except for headaches and bottles. I also had shitty friends who kept pushing me to drink more.” 

My heart truly aches for him. But at the same time, I know I couldn’t have helped him anyway. Maybe I can’t help him now either, but I can be here for him. And I intend to do so. 

“It ended when I came home one night and my dad was home for once.  A magazine was spread out on the kitchen table with me on the front page. It wasn’t pretty. He was so ashamed of me, said some pretty ugly stuff. As did I, cause what he said really hurt. I came here to be a forced inpatient. But after a few weeks, after horrible abstinences, and a solid few rounds around my own head, I accepted where I was and decided to be better, by doing better.” 

Just as I’m about to say something the grip on my shoulder tightens, and I flinch a little. He doesn’t seem to notice though. 

“That’s why, when you so easily saw through me, I was scared you too would be angry and ashamed, so I found it better to just shut you out. I made a really big mistake, some of my old friends stopped by with a bottle of something awful. I mean after shutting you out, nothing felt right and for a second I thought drinking would help, it didn’t. And the day after, when I found you in the hallway. I regretted it so badly, and I just want you to know, that nothing of this is your fault. I hope you can see that. ” 

Finally he looks at me, and I can see his eyes, searching mine for an answer. 

“I’m not angry or ashamed, I’m proud actually. For as much as it counts for, I’m proud of you for being able to push through this and for having the guts to talk to me about it.” 

He takes a hold of my hand and intertwine our fingers. I don’t notice at first, and when I do it is too late. My sleeve has slid down on my arm and exposed the bandage covering it. 

“Riley, you didn’t have this a couple of days ago..”

Michael lets the sentence hang in the air as I try to find the right words. He looks so sad. 

“You do not owe me an explanation. Just so we’re clear on that, but know that I’m here for you.” 

I nod and squeeze his hand, before pulling to me to study the bandage. It should be changed soon. 

“You know, you reminded me of my ex-” 

His expression says it all, he really doesn’t like where this is going.

“when i first came here. You have the same eyes, almost at least. Yours are a lot warmer, kinder. And you easily read people, respect their limits. David didn’t. He was always pushing for me to be perfect and well, it sounds a lot like your parents. In the end, when my schizofrenia got too much and I attempted suicide, I didn’t fit into his world anymore, and he left me alone in the hospital. Mum came by after a couple of days later, after her trip to wherever with her new husband. He works as a contractor or some shit, so he is paying for this.”

The frustration I feel as I explain this, I don’t know how to put it into words. However, Michael seems to understand. 

“I harm myself because the voices tell me to. And it gives me some sort of twisted peace. I don’t know how to explain it.”

Michael shuffles closer to me, so we sit arm to arm, and I lean my head on his shoulder. For the first time in a long while I really like the world is a little safer. 

“Wanna make a deal?” 

I ask as I sit there. Hoping he will agree. 

“Depends on the deal.” 

“Well, I was just thinking, maybe if we promise to each other that we won’t hurt ourselves if the other person promises to do the same, that we can come to each other when we need to be distracted. This doesn’t mean like it’s our responsibility bu-” 

Before I can finish my sentence Michael cuts me off. 

“Yeah, I’d like that a lot.” 

As cheesy as it sounds, I swear, I can hear a smile in his voice. 

 “Also, another thing. Wanna join group tomorrow? It’s a great way to be there for others, and maybe let them get to know you a little differently.”

TAGLIST: @burncrashbromance​  @moonchildsblack​  @5-secondsofcolor​  @harry-hallows-eve  @min-amani​ 

(i have probably spelt some of these wrong, so shoot me an ask and I will correct it:))

[coolobservationyouth]

Free Drum Sampler Vst Plugin

“SL Drums 2 is a free VST drum machine, which with a single panel in the purest style drum-pad lets you create be. Line of Legends. “BPB proudly presents Grooove BPB, a freeware drum sampler in VST2, VST3 and AU plugin formats for PC and Mac, c. Acid machine Be. Unfortunately, this free drum free plugin offers no option of resetting the knob perimeter. Download it here. Free VST Plugins User Guide. If you want an efficient workflow in music production, you need the right software. Additionally, you also need to know how to use free software correctly.

The drum machine changed music. There’s no getting around it.

Every DAW software these days comes with some sort of sampler or drum machine built right in. They’ve become a pillar of modern music production.

But picking a sound can be tough when you have infinite possibilities at your fingertips.

That’s why these drum VST plugins are so great. They impose some limitations to help you corral the creative juices a bit.

So here’s the 10 best free drum VST plugins for making your drums pop.

1. T.REX 606

The name says it all. The T.REX 606 is a compact rompler modelled after the iconic Roland TR-606 drum machine.

The simple interface keeps things basic. Which is nice these days when so many VSTs are needlessly complicated.

It’s just volume, reverb and 7 classic sounds. Easy peasy.

Download it here for free

2. Djinndrum

The Linn LM-1 is a classic drum machine. It’s been used by everyone from Peter Gabriel, to Prince, to Michael Jackson.

Free Drum Sampler Vst

But let’s face it, these days they’ve gotten a bit pricey for what they are.

No problem, The Djinndrum has you set for all that classic sound that the LM-1 packs in.

Download it here for free

3. Drum PRO

Drum Pro has 20 built in drum kits, 12 pads and global effects, what more do you need from a drum machine plugin?

The Drum Pro has you covered no matter what you’re making. Big EDM? Check. Techno? Check. Everything else you need for sweet drums? Check that too.

Download it here for free

4. Line of Legends

Free Sampler Plugins

This plugin may not look as technical as others. But don’t let the looks of Line of Legends fool you.

This plugin boasts 47 high quality samples, 8 individual output channels, and punch, release & attack knobs for some serious tweakage.

Heads up: you may have to set up the output channels in your DAW if it’s only showing one channel. So check your DAW manual to figure out how.

Download it here for free

5. Sean Pandy Drums

Sean Pandy Drums is based on a sample pack made by heavy metal drummer Sean Pandy. So if you’re looking for a heavier drum sound on your mix, this VST will definitely give you it.

The ‘Sub Blower’ is especially good and certainly lives up to its name…

Download it here for free

6. KickMaker

2 of the most important elements in any track that thumps is the kick and bass. So they deserve some serious attention.

That’s what makes KickMaker so great. It’s a plugin built for crafting the perfect kick. So what’re you waiting for? Get kickin’.

Download it here for free

7. Beat Factory Drums

Beat Factory Drums is easy to use, sounds great, and packs a serious punch.

It has fully tweakable ADSR parameters so you can customize each and every kit to your sound. Not bad for a FREE plugin.

All you have to do is enter your email and that’s it.

Download it here for free

8. MT Power Drum Kit 2

MT Power Drum Kit 2 isn’t just a plugin for drums. In addition to top notch drum sounds that cut through any mix, it also has a fully pre-programmed groove library.

Free Vst Drum Downloads

It’s wicked for composing your own patterns, or stringing together grooves for the drum accompaniment you need.

Download it here for free

9. Dub Turbo DrumTROOP

The DrumTROOP drum machine is big both in its sound and what it offers. It’s a powerful tool for everything from EDM to house and back again.

Their website calls it a “weapon of mass production.” I can’t really disagree with that. It’s definitely massive is every respect.

Download it here for free

10. Single Cycle Vintage Drum Elements

Vintage Drum Elements has a nice, warm analogue sound that so many vintage drum machines have.

The 12 pad interface is easy to use and tweak, and the preloaded samples are all top notch.

Name your price or enter your email to grab it on the Single Cycle Bandcamp.

Download it here for free

Drumming up the perfect sound

Nothing beats a banging drum track. They’re the backbone of tons of top notch songs.

And the drum machine is a superb way to hone in on a specific sound for your tracks.

So grab these sweet plugs and program away!

Already set for drums? Grab some of our other favourite free VSTs.

Sometime you just need a plain good old sampler VST plugin for your tracks : just load a .wav sample, tweak some envelope, maybe adjust pitch, and add some loop points. No more no less. You don’t need the bells & whistles of Kontakt, nor gigabytes of library => just load some samples and come on !

https://coolobservationyouth.tumblr.com/post/640297816700354560/free-vst-pattern-sequencer. It comes with a special morphing feature that gives you the capabilities of up to 8 different programs in one.Monoplugs says its Monique a perfect instrument for jamming and live performances. Plus there are some built-in effects, also arpeggiator/sequencer. As for highlights, there’s special free filter routing, continuous morphable oscillators, advanced modulation and automation. See also:B-Step Sequencer is a step sequencer plugin and standalone application for creating melodic loops, chord progressions, arpeggios, drum grooves, and basslines.B-Step Sequencer comes with an array of features like chord programming, sequencer ratcheting, shuffle, drag-n-drop, copy, MIDI learn, and more. Monique free synthesizer.

So here’s a selection of 6 FREEWARE sampler in VST format:

1. TX16Wx VST

download 100% free : http://www.tx16wx.com/

Available for Windows (32 & 64 bit) & Mac (VST & AU 64 bit) This one is more than a simple sampler for loading & playing audio files! It’s the more complete & full featured free sampler. Tons of modulations & envelope, powerful keyboard mapping… You can choose between 4 sizes for the UI (from 800X600 to 1280X768) and the plugin can record from its own inputs (DAW inputs). This is also the more “up to date” plugin. It can load wav, aiff ogg, flac + sf2 soundfonts and sfz.

Free Sampler Vst Plugin

2. Grace : Sampler

Grace Sampler

download : http://www.onesmallclue.com/plugin/grace/

Available for Windows in 32 & 64 bit VST format. I find it more good looking than the TX16Wx! It’s also very powerful; with keyboard mapping, envelope & modulation. like the precedent, it can preview sounds, the browser is very nice. can load wav, aif & snd + sfz bank sounds. On the website you can also download library with good sounds.

3. ShortCircuit 2

Free Drum Kit Vst Plugins

download 4 free ! http://vemberaudio.se/shortcircuit.php

Availbable for Windows , 32 bit VST. Sadly, Shortcircuit is discontinued. But if you’re still using 32 bit VST, it’s one the best VST sampler around. The Keyboard mapping (on a vertical view ! unlike the others), the modulation & evelope options, it’s very complete, and should work without any problems (you can also download older version if you experience some bugs)

can load wav files + AKAI sample file (AKAI S5000/S6000/ Z4 Z8) + sf2 files + Recycle REX files.

Drum Pad Sampler Vst Free

4. Paax 2 sampler

Paax 2 VST

direct download : http://www.behringerdownload.de/UCONTROL/p2_app.zip

A problem for some music creators is finding a decent sounding virtual guitar. https://coolobservationyouth.tumblr.com/post/640297827175710720/best-vst-guitar-plugins-2015. 10 Best: Guitars VST Plugin ReviewThe guitar is a standard instrument on many musical recordings.

Available for Windows 32 bit only VST. Unfortunaly, the paax sampler has vanished from the internet, and is no longer developed. The paax 3 was free for some time, and the paax 2 was always freeware. The UI is small, but all the features are here. Not the fastest workflow, but some like it like that.

5. EZ-Sampler

download : http://sbaudio.org/ez-sampler

Available for Windows, 32 bit VST only. This one is simple, you can load only one sample, so no keyboard mapping. Sometimes it’s just what you need ! and with EZ-Sampler, it’s fast and without troubles. can load wav, aiff, ogg, flac, snd, wma & mp3 (need Lame Encoder).

6. Helios VST !

Tobybear Helios VST

dowload : http://www.tobybear.de/files.html

Available for Windows, 32 bit VST only. From the Tobybear “insbag” VST collection. This one is old school ! ADSR on volume + filter + delay + LFO + loop. Just load a wav file and let’s go! drop some LFO on the loop start : instant funkyness!

[artdjgblog]

​Innerview: Nathan Reusch​ / The Record Machine​​

October 2008

Art: DJG Design

Note: ​Interview ​for a series called "​Where Are They Now?​"​

Over the years we have gotten to work with really great creative people. After doing this for five years we want to give you guys some more insight on who has helped be a part of this label and make it what it is today. First off we have an interview with Danny Gibson of DJG Design. Danny has always been behind the scenes at TRM. He has helped create almost all of our logos and helped us with a lot of art direction and design since the begining. He also designed our very first release for Jame Dean Trio. ​0​1) Introduction I was at the historic first official meeting of The Record Machine held at McCoy’s in West Port of Kansas City, MO over half a decade ago. My say didn’t amount to much. I think my mouth was full as I was mostly positioned to eat free cheeseburgers. ​0​2) How have you been spending your days? My days are spent. Creeping on the Crow’s Feet I find that time is more easily measured in flap jack format than ever before. Something big has always been beaming and beating and I find myself blind peeping to see how far back the dogs with prickly sticks in their mouths yip, kick and nip for my heels. I do beat the crickets up at 5 am Monday thru Saturday in order to pinch a bit back. Evenings and weekends find me down slide sliver squeezes as well. I engage in making things and find some peace through all the pieces with my maker in the act of doing so. The handful of women I share space with enlightenment my walk as well…kitties and wife. Walks are good too and Fall time is the best for comfortable living in Kansas City. ​0​3) Where have you been spending your days or evenings? A bounty of selections from my basement is always on the menu. I’m easily entertained hunched over at my good ol’ door desk. In the mean time I appreciate the company of my wife, kitty hair on my clothes, celebrating all movies, well-tailored music that sometimes requires a third ear and high rise stacks of books and comics. For nourishment I scrape every pan and pot my wife cooks in. And I am the dishwasher. In the twilight occasion, a one scoop waffle cone of peanut butter ice cream at Miami Ice just down the street does me correctly. If I’m in need to see the stars or get away, the family farm isn’t too far off. ​0​4) What has been in your ears? I love big chunks of ear wax. While rockin’ to the thunder that Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band brought at Sprint Center here in KC, I had a big chunk of ear gunk fall out and it was heavenly. I’m really tickled by the musical foundations a fellow basement dweller named Micah Buzan of Blue Springs, MO is cranking out. He is only 18 and one to watch. Other Kansas City area highlights include The Tambourine Club and The ACBs, who both not only crank out some great and fresh music, but are genuinely lovely lads and don’t boast at the art of playing “rock star”. Far out of this area…I’m excited to hear more from Empire of the Sun as the single “Walking on a Dream” is some of the best dance pop I’ve heard since Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” album. Which, I’ve been rattling the rafters with that ’80s gold as well whenever I tire of the Samey So-So’s of most things current. Though, there are a few great new ones and “Evil Urges” by My Morning Jackets is my favorite album so far in 2008. And I can never get enough Bruce Springsteen in my diet. Every day and sometimes every minute of the day calls for a different selection from The Boss’s healthy catalogue. I’m also into the music of Suicide lately. Oh, and I’m quite convinced that Harry Nilsson is one of our finest song craftsmen as a handful of his albums have really been making sense to me and his range is all over the map. ​0​5) What has been inspiring or refreshing to you lately? The work ethic, ideas, passion and output of singer-songwriters Harry Nilsson and Bruce Springsteen gets me going. I finished reading Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road” for the second and one half times and it is gold. I like Michael Chabon’s writing and work ethic a lot too and am spending my second Fall in his books…the same with Flannery O’Connor. In terms of arts and crafts, Saul Steinberg, Henryk Tomaszewski, Eric Carle and Bill Traylor continue to get me to smiling. Oh, and I must hand out an exclamation to fellow maker Ben Chlapek of Neversleeping.com as he is involved with a lot of lovely creations. ​0​6) Earliest Influences that you can think of? Farm Life / Giant Watermelon Patches / Giant Pumpkins / Grandaddy Long Legs / Dead Animals Under Bed / Homemade Stuffed Animals / Taxidermy / Seed Corn Packaging and Farm Implement Logos / Small Town Gas Stations / Uncle Ed’s Horse Drawing Skills / The Seasons / Fireworks / Animals Big and Little / Hunting / Dead Animal Backpack / Grandma Gibson’s Handmade Aesthetics, Checker skills, Sugar Cookies and Salmon Patties / Grandpa Gibson’s Burnt Pancakes and Old Western-Love Story Reading / The Sand Box / Tree Houses and Forts / Popping Asphalt Bubbles in Summertime / Snow Days / Hard Rains / Holidays / Fishing / Camping / Guns and War / Drawing WWII Battles with Dad / Raccoon Wall Paper / Puppets / Anything Jim Henson / Mad Magazine / Mad Balls / Garbage Pail Kids / Dr. Demento / Taping Music Off the Radio / “Live & Let Die” by Paul McCartney & Wings / Mom’s Record Pile / The Beatles / Oldies Music / ‘70s T.V. Theme Tunes / ‘80s Pop Music (Michael Jackson for sure) / Weird Al Yankovic / Ren & Stimpy / Pee-Wee’s Playhouse / Saturday Morning Cartoons / “Gummi Bears” / Comic Books / Tractor Pulls / Big Foot (Creature and Monster Truck) / “Star Wars” / “The Swiss Family Robinson” / “James Bond” / “Indiana Jones” / “Rambo” / “Commando” / “Batman” (Tim Burton) / Going to the Movies / Pizza and Tacos / Soda Pop / Flavored Frozen Pops / Kick Ball / Grandma Dayton’s Spaghetti / Racking Leaves and Riding to the Dump with Grandpa Dayton / Sports (Michael Jordan for sure) / Sports Team Mascots / Sports Stadiums / Collecting Sports Trading Cards / Skyscrapers / Cake and Ice Cream / Late Nights at Best Friend Ean’s Funeral Home House / “…red and yellow, black and white they are precious in his sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world.” / Being Alone / Cutting and Pasting / Falling Off a Slide, Hitting My Head and Blacking Out in Kindergarten ​0​7) Best thing you have seen on a little or big screen in a while? P.T. Anderson’s “Punch-Drunk Love” is my favorite movie and I just took my 8th dip with it. My favorite 2008 movie and the best rockumentary ever so far is “Young @ Heart” and close behind for top of this year is “Be Kind Rewind” and “Son of Rambow”. This Fall and Winter look to boast one of the finest crops of films…I’m highly anticipating “The Road”, “The Wrestler”, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, “Synecdoche, NY”, “The Changeling” and many others. Other great watches of late (old and new) include “The Tin Drum”, “Hoop Dreams”, “It’s A Wonderful Life”, “The Wicker Man” (1973), “Sorry, Haters”, “The Seven Year Itch”, “The Cars That Ate Paris”, “Don’t Look Now”, “Dark Days”, “Rat Catcher”, “The King of Kong”, “Alice”, “Dear Wendy” and “The Band’s Visit”. On the small screen, “Planet Earth” is mind-blowing worship that demands for me to invest in a projector for the future. In T.V. Land this summer I discovered and fell in love with “Beauty & The Geek”. I’m excited for the cool new sci-fi show with cool typography called “Fringe” and another season with the excellent “How I Met Your Mother”. Currently I’m backtracking through the entire series of “Sex & The City” and am absolutely loving it and can’t wait to get the movie! Oh, and the live Broadway production of “The Drowsy Chaperone” is gold genius and made me cry. ​0​8) Last best show you have been to? Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band in Kansas City on August 24, 2008. It is the best show I’ve ever seen, even better than two previous Boss concerts. Sprint Center is now officially called Spring Center. I can’t wait for the Super Bowl half-time… ​0​9) Any links to things you want to pass along? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYwhvD2-fYw 10) The Final Word? (one word only please) GRILLEDCHEESETOMATOSOUP -djg

[theteenagetrickster]

21 Savage's R&B Love Affair Is A ReflectIon Of The Evolved "Gangster Rapper"

In November of 2019, artist 21 Savage spoke to hundreds of Atlanta students about the dangers of gun violence. The speech was part of Fulton county’s “Guns Down, Heads Up” program. An initiative to curtail the rising number of illegal firearms in the community. During a local news feature, he explained that urging area youth to be wise in not resorting to guns was his mission. However, his single “Immortal” which was released just 20 days prior had a different message. “Brand new Mac-90 with the drum attached, you a shit talker we got drums for that. Tryna fist fight boy you dumb for that. You gone catch a bullet in yo long for that.”

Can a hardcore rapper grow as a person, as a man, as a member of his community - yet still let his music promote the darkness of his past? 

What happens when a man with a troubled past embraces his mortality and refuses to wallow in the same mentality that resulted in the very pain he once sought to escape?

Is society receptive to the duality of a black man finding the silver lining in his suffering, dealing with the convolution and weight of surviving life in the hood? 

If you never cared to learn more about 21 Savage you may have these and other questions. Yet, given the effort, you’d quickly find that the man behind the microphone is more complex than can be understood simply by taking his music at face value. It requires a fair analysis of the environment in which he was born. The environment he references in music. Through his words, though sometimes corrupt, Savage has constructed a platform. In the 27-year old’s maturation, he continues to use that platform to make a change, perhaps the only way he knows how. This while still healing from a past that likely haunts him.

Patrisse Cullors, Co-Founder of Black Lives Matter presents 21 Savage with an award at the NILC Courageous Luminaires Awards, October 2019 - Jerritt Clark/Getty Images for NILC

In an interview with Genius, 21 Savage said, “Words are powerful. You have to be mindful of how you use them. I’m a rapper, so yeah, I’m going to rap about certain shit - but that’s entertainment. That’s music. That’s my past life. When it comes to what I’m doing in these streets as like a man. Fuck a rapper. Just me as a man and what I stand for, don’t throw dirt on that because that’s like a big accomplishment.”

21 Savage leaped onto hip-hop’s proverbial stage, the light finally shimmering on a sound once dimly lit in almost hidden crevices of SoundCloud. If The Slaughter Tape catapulted Shéyaa Bin Abraham-Joseph onto that stage his soon-to-follow EP Savage Mode was the crowd surfing frog splash off of it. The hip-hop community had embraced him. Each project he’s released since has pitted him deeper and deeper into the modern-day pop-culture lexicon. The Slaughter Tape featured a hardcore, gritty production style, heavily fleeced with 808s and a dark ominous undertone. Listening to the early Savage catalog feels like you’re walking into the belly of the slums. His menacing voice and catchy ad-libs rattle your eardrums from start to finish as he uniquely tells his story.

Back in the early days of his emergence, 21 Savage was lauded for his hardcore street, oftentimes violence ladened lyrics. Praising the gang lifestyle and endorsing problematic behavior. Behavior young men feel forced into because of the realities of living in a socioeconomically challenged neighborhood. As time fell through the hourglass on 21 Savage’s career, his tune has started to shift. Both in his outward demeanor and in his music. Perhaps it even softened.

On his most recent album, I am > I was, he goes in-depth about the tumultuous relationship with his father, losing loved ones and the pain of heartbreak. As the title would suggest Savage’s second studio album signifies a turning point in his life. Seeking to be a better artist and a better man than he once was. For his endeavors in proliferation the rapper was rewarded with a Grammy nomination for Rap Album of the Year.

“I just feel like I’m becoming a better person. My music is just getting better. Learning the game better, learning how to move, learning how to create - everything’s just growing.”

 “I might rap about a lot of stuff, but that’s just a reflection about what I’ve been through. But in real life, everything I do is positive.” 

For someone who has been through so much, it’s great to see a man able to freely express himself. His ups and downs. Both his unrestrained joy and his pain. On a 2018 Breakfast Club interview, Savage admitted that “sometimes he cries” when reflecting on the passing of a friend. DJ Envy followed his statement up by saying “the fact that you said you cry is good because a lot of people will never admit that they cry.” The Atlanta-raised rapper then says “That Jeezy and Keisha Cole song, "Dreaming," I don’t care where I’m at if that song comes on I’m going to cry.”

It was here that we realized 21 Savage, like many of us, uses music to mend emotional scars - which would explain his love affair with singing R&B. Music often acts as an emotional ointment, just as 21 Savaged described in this interview. It helps us to process our traumas. For black people, music is sometimes the only therapy we ever had. In many cases, it is the only way we were able to process the things we went through. Have you ever been to a party or a gathering and that classic R&B song plays that calls up so many emotions? We, as African-Americans, don’t simply experience music - we escape into it. Losing ourselves in the words and the melody. Hoping for a momentary fix from reality. For black men, we deserve the chance to be free of the stereotypes that chain us to a nonexpressive mascot-like existence.  

21 Savage at his "Hot Boyz" Birthday Bash, October 2019 - Carmen Mandato/Getty Images 

In the same interview, Savage admitted that he had been to therapy. Imagine a 90’s gangster rapper talking about therapy in a radio interview. As we’ve become a more conscious and progressive community in hip-hop, much of the facade has melted away and we accept these men as human beings who have experienced real things that take a toll on them - not these beacons of hyper-masculinity. We see evidence of this in today’s “gangster rapper.” 

Savage speaks on this candidly in his writings:

“I done did a lot in these streets and that’s facts. PTSD like I came from Iraq.”

“I lost all my friends countin' bands in the Bentley coupe

Diamonds on me doin' handstands, Rosé on my tooth

If she wanna dance, let her dance for the money, ooh

I don't need no friends if you really wanna know the truth.” 

In the Summer of 2018 Savage began frequently posting himself singing on Instagram’s Story feature. He sang everything from The Weeknd to R. Kelly to SWV. Bellowing his heart out. The selection a testament to his wide range of musical tastes. This past Summer the rapper claimed “I’m singing R&B this time on tour,” in an Instagram post. Savage stated that singing clears his mind. So, these internet karaoke sessions may be part medicine, part liberation. Signs of his internal cultivation. 

Men are freer now to express themselves. To be open with their feelings and show a softer side. 21 Savage is an example of this. We as a society have moved toward allowing men the opportunity to be human. To be tender and vulnerable creatures, while still endorsing their masculinity. Breaking down the barriers of masculinity has been tougher than knocking down the Berlin Wall within the tribe of hip-hop. Misconceptions of male identity have long contributed to a hyper-aggressive culture of male behavior. Many times men are incredibly pensive because they’re asked by society to partake in this play where their role is merely the beast. 21 Savage's exterior may present a hardcore gangster rapper. Now we’re seeing a softer side of Savage. Growth is the companion of time and 21 Savage isn’t the same person that scrapped and crawled his way out of the trenches. He’s a greater version of that.

21 Savage’s journey exemplifies the dichotomy that exists in rap. He wants desperately to help his community and his actions show that. But his music is still filled with violence and belligerence. The Grammy nominee’s infatuation with R&B is a sign that he’s torn about the content in his music. On one hand, it propelled him to stardom, on the other hand, it goes against the things he seems to stand for. But the stories in his music make up who he is. Without the horrors of his past, Savage may not be here to share the journey.

Savage takes his fandom of R&B to the next level by more frequently singing on his music, too. Issa Album explored this on tracks "Facetime" and "Special." In "Special," thanks to auto-tuning, he gifts us with a silky vocal arrangement. On his 2019 album, I am > I was, 21 Savage had a few tracks on which he sings in a contemporary R&B style. He later hopped on several prominent R&B remixes; Jhene Aiko's "Triggered," a song in November with Alicia Keys and Miguel titled "Show Me Love," as well as Normani's "Motivation." There may be more of an audience for 21 Savage ballads than there were for former generations of gangster rap. In what many call the golden era of hip-hop, for two decades, gangster rappers really carried the genre. But I would argue, few of the most influential artists in the past 10 years have been hardcore rap artists. Gangster rappers have had to evolve and adjust with the times in order to survive. 

21 Savage isn't alone either. Other rappers known for abrasive style and content like NBA YoungBoy and Kodak Black are showing their more vulnerable sides nowadays. Last year Kodak released HeartBreak Kodak, a project filled with songs of love's enmity. HipHopDX called the album "808s & Heartbreak meets the trap." Needless to say, it was heavily R&B influenced. NBA YoungBoy made waves with his release of "Dirty Iyanna," Michael Jackon’s "Dirty Diana" reimagined. The track features YoungBoy singing feverishly in auto-tune under the iconic baseline. Social changes and advancements in technology have made creatives that never would’ve sung in generations past empowered to give it a shot.

21 Savage gives out a plate of food during his YMCA Thanksgiving Dinner, November 2019 - Prince Williams/Wireimage/Getty Images

It's a proverb of the duplicity that exists in hip-hop and the evolution of the "gangster" rapper. Savage has several different community initiatives where he focuses on giving back. From hosting charity dinners to giving away school supplies in his old neighborhood. After his run-in with ICE and threat of deportation, Savage is now even advocating for immigrant children. It also highlights the line between art and reality. To quote 21 Savage one final time, “This is art, so how the fuck you gone tell me how to express myself - it ain’t no right or wrong way to be a hip-hop artist.”'

If you liked this, check out:

This content was originally published here.

[fallenloverecords]

Interview:  Gentle Brontosaurus

Hi lovers! Here at Fallen Love headquarters we periodically interview people that we adore in order to shine a spotlight on our wonderful pop planet. We post all those interviews right here for your education and enjoyment.

Gentle Brontosaurus are an indiepop band from Madison, Wisconsin, USA. They are Huan-Hua Chye (ukulele & keyboard), Nick Davies (keyboard & trumpet), Cal Lamore (guitar), Paul Marcou (drums), and Anneliese Valdes (bass). Fallen Love head Harley interviewed the band through a computer. Fallen Love Records: How did Gentle Brontosaurus begin? Huan-Hua: Get ready for some band lineage in excruciating detail:

Nick and I used to be in a band called TL;DR that broke up after a couple of band members moved away, so we decided to start a new band.

We knew Paul and Jon from having played with their old band, Baristacide, and we recruited Michael to play bass for us through Craigslist.

Eventually Jon decided it was time to part ways with us and we asked Cal to play guitar. Nick and I had met Cal through a songwriting website called FAWM, February Album Writing Month.

Last year Michael moved to Milwaukee and decided to leave the band so we recruited Anneliese, whom I had met via a community ukulele club called MAUI and who had filled in on bass for us a while back for a Buffy The Vampire Slayer Musical Episode cover show we did with our friends Croaker.

And here is a curated selection of a few of our other related current or recent projects you might want to check out - we are busy individuals: Square Bombs (Paul & Jon) The Werewolverine (Anneliese) The Ferns or C. H. Lamore solo (Cal) Vowl Sounds, Red Tape Diaries (Huan-Hua) Spiral Island (Nick)

FLR: All five of you sing. Was that something planned on from the early stages or did it just discover itself? HH: We used to only have three vocalists (max one lead and one backing at any given time) but decided that seven instruments and three vocals between five people wasn't making the sound guys' lives hard enough (not to mention ours) so we added some more. It has definitely been a voyage of self-discovery. I think we'll try to streamline a bit more in the future, though, since venues almost never have enough mics. FLR: Based on your social media some people might expect you to be a comedy or novelty band. Are new listeners ever caught off-guard? Nick: Is this regarding the Facebook account where we share dinosaur memes or the Twitter account where we post things like Baha Men trivia? Early on I had our genre listed as "brony rock" on Facebook just as a joke and it’s come back up occasionally. Like the time Jimmy K, a local radio personality, had both us and The Ferns (Cal's previous band) on an episode of his show and he got his intro cards mixed up and called The Ferns "brawny rock." HH: Also we got invited to put a song on an actual brony rock compilation, which was unfortunately vetoed by other band members. Anyway I aim to keep expectations at rock bottom so that new listeners can only be pleasantly surprised when we turn out to be (hopefully) honest and charming and good. I don't usually aim for funny when I'm writing songs (although sometimes it ends up there) but I usually aim to be entertaining on social media. (I usually man the Facebook account and Nick the Twitter account). I feel it's the least I can do. FLR: Who writes the lyrics? Each song carries a real depth, like a full short story condensed into four minutes. HH: Nick and I are about 50/50 on songwriting. On the first album our old guitarist wrote one and our old bassist wrote one but I think on the new album it's more or less evenly divided between me and Nick as far as lyrics go. I think the two of us share a love for possibly ill-advised wordiness and allusions so sometimes people have been surprised to find out who wrote which songs. I wrote poetry for years before ever turning to lyrics and a few songs, like "Rabbit Test", are remnants of poems or stories or concepts I could never quite make work on the written page. N: I don't intend to give every song a narrative but in addition to FAWM in February I participate in NaNoWriMo in November. Maybe some of that bleeds over into songwriting. Storytelling does provide a way to address topics without being tied to your own perspective. I'd be kind of uncomfortable writing songs all about Nick and how Nick feels right now, especially if we might decide to have someone else in the band sing it. HH: I, on the other hand, love writing songs all about HH and how HH feels right now. Maybe this is why we have so many songs about food.

FLR: Your debut album, Names Of Things And What They Do, came out in November 2015. What was the process to get there and how has the path shifted since then? HH: That album was very DIY like our new one will be. We recorded it over a period of months in our old practice space and our old guitarist Jon mixed it. Similar approach this time around, all home recordings. It's going to be an interesting mix as some of these songs, like "Kevin Bacon", we've played for years (it almost made it onto the first album) and others, like "A Shot" or "For Emma, Forever Ago", we'd only been playing for a few weeks and had never played live before starting to record. So for those newer songs we're kind of figuring out arrangements and parts as part of the recording process. We recorded all the drums and scratch tracks live, the way we're used to playing, and are now going along and re-recording individual parts to replace the scratch versions. One of the things that's pretty interesting about our piecemeal recording process is that we often can't hear/process the cool things everyone else is doing since we are distracted at the time with our own performances. Sound balance is also difficult to get right live with five people,so there have been a lot of moments where, once you're listening to a clear recording, you go "Oh, I had no idea you had this awesome part happening here." It makes you appreciate everyone and their contributions and musicianship just that much more. FLR: Do you think dinosaurs had feathers or scales? Anneliese: Yes, and some had neither. FLR: Why hasn't Netflix rebooted popular '90s sitcom Dinosaurs yet? A: This might be a question for the Jim Henson Workshop. Fun fact: Kevin Clash, who's the voice of Elmo, was also the voice of Baby Sinclair. And Jessica Walter (of Arrested Development) was the voice of the mother. HH: I'm sure it's on the horizon since we are apparently officially in the midst of a serious worldwide franchise shortage. I will officially volunteer us to provide the soundtrack for the inevitable gritty, sexy reboot. (I mean have you seen Riverdale, the gritty, sexy Archie reboot? Anything is possible.) The theme song will be called "Nobody's Baby" and will be in the style of Julee Cruise and everyone will wear black leather jackets and white undershirts in a very sexy James Dean kind of way. Also, if you don't have a physical copy of our album, Baby Sinclair fans should check out the art on the inner sleeve. FLR: Do you ever get tired of answering dinosaur questions? Will your choice of band name haunt you for the rest of time? HH: No and no. Since we are from the Land Before Time I'm not totally sure yet what this "time" thing is but I'm sure I'll figure it out one of these days. (Sorry to the random person on Tumblr I stole that joke from.)

FLR: What's your earliest musical memory? N: The first songs I wrote were entirely MIDI, written in a sheet music editor. Sadly they were lost forever in the mp3.com buyout of 2001. I thought I had a cassette copy but I went back to my parents' house in D.C. this past summer and the cassette is gone too. After that era I started recording angsty stuff with a beat-up acoustic guitar and some ill-conceived "rapping." Unfortunately there are surviving copies of that. A: Dancing around the living room to my dad's old boogie-woogie records when I was three or four. HH: They gave us recorders in grade school because the only thing better than one five year-old playing the recorder is fifteen of them all at once so I clearly recall making some really avant-garde noise rock as part of my early musical education. Also one of our music teachers was a grad student at the UC Berkeley School of Music and wrote an opera called The Nightingale that he made us learn, like a troupe of performing opera monkeys. FLR: What song have you listened to the most this year? HH: I went to look at my Spotify stats and some of my top tracks in recent months have been: Frankie Cosmos- "Fool", Big Thief - "Masterpiece", X - "The World's A Mess, It's In My Kiss", Eux Autres - "Other Girls", and Jens Lekman - "To Know Your Mission." N: I'm also enjoying the new Jens Lekman album! Crying's Beyond The Fleeting Gales has been the album that has hardly left my car stereo this year. FLR: What's one question you've never been asked in an interview that you would love to be asked someday? HH: You are standing in front of two doors. Behind one lies immeasurable riches, behind the other lies certain death. There are two guards guarding the doors, one sworn to always lie and one sworn to always tell the truth, but you don't know which is which. What is the best song ever written, and why is it "Africa" by Toto? N: If we're ever interviewed by Nardwuar [The Human Serviette] I hope he knows that I dressed as him for Halloween once. HH: Also I think Paul and Anneliese were hoping to do a Jerry Springer-style interview someday with paternity tests and chair fights in front of a studio audience. FLR: What does 2018 look like for Gentle Brontosaurus? I know you're working on your sophomore album. N: We've started recording out at Cal's parents' barn in Cambridge, WI. You must have seen the big chart on Facebook. Once we get that released I think we're hoping to go out on tour again. Maybe reconnect with some of the folks we met on the road in 2016 or maybe play some shows around the upper midwest where we actually haven't been yet. FLR: The first album came on CD with a piece of toast. Will the new album come as a download code in a jar of jam? N: If someone bought our toast in 2015 and is still hanging onto it in 2018, I don't think jam is going to make it edible. HH: I'm not really into jam bands. Gentle Brontosaurus on Bandcamp Gentle Brontosaurus on Facebook

[doomedandstoned]

ELDER

Rallies Russia!

-Review: Nick DiSalvo | Forward: Billy Goate-

-Photos: Mo Nemo | Film: Anton Rodionov-

"The funny thing I've noticed about Russians is how reserved they can be, but then when the music is playing they are going crazy, moshing or stage diving, and crowd surfing the whole time."

Earlier this month, Doomed & Stoned brought you a two-part feature on Acid King's first ever appearance in the Russian Federation. Now, we are pleased to present the sights and sounds of another cross-continental concert tour, that of the mighty ELDER.

You're looking at another stunner of a photoset from the young Saint Petersburg photographer Mo Nemo, snapped at Elder's MOD Club show on August 3rd, 2017. The night before, Nick DiSalvo (vocals, guitar), Jack Donovan (bass), Matt Couto (drums), and new member Michael Risberg (guitar) played at The Volta in Moscow. The Re-Stoned, a band we've long touted as a prime example of Russian heavy psychedelic rock, opened on that particular evening. Ilya Lipkin (guitar), Vladimir Kislyakov (bass), and Andrey Pristavka (drums) performed a sublime series of songs from their recent LP, 'Reptiles Return' (2016). It was, of course, time for Elder to show off fresh tracks, too, namely selections from the new album that topped the Doom Charts: 'Reflections Of A Floating World' (2017 - Stickman Records).

By all accounts, the setlist included almost all the songs from Reflections..., including "Sanctuary," "The Falling Veil," "Staving Off Truth," "Blind," and "Thousand Hands." Let me tell you, that second guitarist has sure come in handy in pulling these off! The band also played what is now a bonafide hit: "Compendium" off of 'Lore' (2015 - Armageddon Shop). That song in many ways foreshadowed the complexity of the new material. Then there was the beloved "Gemini" from 'Dead Roots Stirring' (2011 - MeteorCity Records), which no Elder performance would quite be complete without.

I reached out to frontman Nick DiSalvo this week for comment on their trip. "Well," he replied, "I can certainly share some thoughts about Russia in a stream of consciousness sort of way with you." That was just fine by me, and I invited Nick to give us all a first-hand account of his band's visit to this land rich in vodka, literature, political intrigue, and most of all music. My piano teacher, who came to the US from Russia for her doctorate degree, is a disciplinarian. From her I've gotten an idea of how seriously Russians take the art and the science of music. You'll find this quite easy to confirm both anecdotally and historically.

How, then, would heavy music fans of the Moscow and Saint Petersburg underground take to the soaring progressive stylings of these four ambitious muzykanty from the States? The next words your read will be from Nick's tablet...

We've been to Russia twice now, both times in the same cities (Moscow and St Petersburg). I can only assume that sounds as fascinating to most American readers as it was for us. I think we have a very biased view of Russia in the States and assume that the country is very "foreign." Let me tell you, that's definitely not the case in these two cities -- two of the biggest in Europe (if you want to count Russia as part of Europe). We're lucky to work with a really cool promotions team over there called Madstream. Their guys Andrey and Vadim have surprised us with their professionalism and hospitality that's truly a leg up from the rest of Europe, even. That's really saying something, since most European clubs and promoters treat bands amazingly.

We had an early flight in from Milan to Moscow and were pretty whacked out after an hour and half drive from the airport through the city to the venue. The city never ends! The sprawl of Moscow is truly awe-inspiring, not necessarily in the best way.

In Saint Petersburg (band photo)

We got in for soundcheck at the venue Volta. Big stage. The club could be suited for any kind of gig and certainly doesn't give off the dingy rock club vibes (except for the makeshift water closet backstage that really does remind you you're in Eastern Europe). Soundcheck is fine and we retire to a long forgotten luxury for a few hours, the hotel, to catch some sleep.

I sleep through my alarm and wake up to Mike jostling me, since we need to get back for bus call. This is different for us, getting shuttled around to hotels and back. Normally, we travel in a sort of converted camper van and a stationary bed and shower are truly a treat. I don't know how many fans we really have in Russia, in Moscow maybe 200-250 people come to the show. For a city of 20 million I'd say that it's not much, but the scene is really just developing here.

The fans who do come are rabid and we get a rare taste of what it must be like to play in a famous band. Leave the backstage area and everyone grabs you, wants a photo, an autograph, to tell you an anecdote, and you realize the bizarre and fantastic nature of your situation: an American band in Russia surrounded by people who are just like you, music enthusiasts stoked on a concert. The funny thing I've noticed about Russians is how reserved they can be, but then when the music is playing they are going crazy, moshing or stage diving, and crowd surfing the whole time.

Welcome Package! (band photo)

A nice photographer we met on our previous trip is backstage and gives us some gifts: a bottle of vodka, some matchboxes, lemonade, all labeled with handmade Elder labels. That's pretty damn cool. The venue feeds us well and too much on borscht (a Russian tomato soup), lasagna, chicken. It's all fantastic, too. Our show is fine, despite an amp blowing up. Matt, Mike, and I improvise a jam for what feels like 10 minutes while a stage crew struggles to replace it. After the gig, we hang for a bit with the fans and drink some beer, then head back to the hotel where Boris is checking in for their gigs in Russia the same week. We try to drunkenly convince them to hang out with us in our hotel room, but they politely refuse.

In Saint Petersburg (band photo)

The next morning we have a train to St Petersburg, 4.5 hours away with the fast train, which is super modern and clean like much of what we've seen of these cities. Jack and I laugh at English translations of items in the "on board shop" magazine, order some souvenirs, and are amazed to see our photo and some information about our gig last night in the train magazine (the equivalent of finding your photo in an in-flight magazine on an airplane). When we arrive we're again transported to a hotel in St Petersburg. This city's historical center is absolutely beautiful, full of "old" buildings (the city itself is relatively new, from the 1800s) and Czarist monuments and buildings. Instead of sleeping, we have a walk around and look for some food. We're not exactly successful.

Tickets for the big show!   Photo by Denis Kolpakov

When we arrive at the venue for soundcheck, we're surprised to find it's directly in the historical center, not a five-minute walk from the winter palace. After soundcheck, we take a tour of the area with another guy from the show. The great thing about this area is the souvenirs. You can find amazing coffee mugs and all kinds of kitsch with photos of Trump and Putin on them (in 2016 it was mostly Putin kicking Obama's ass, etc.).

The show tonight is smaller, but also a lot of fun and we play every song we have, again. Last time St Petersburg was crazier, this time Moscow wins in the energetic fan competition, but still people are dancing, moshing, and having a great time. We do the dance of autographs and fan photos after the show and then return to the hotel, more exhausted than anything else. The next morning we manage to catch some breakfast in the lobby where a large Jewish travel group is doing the same. Our trip to the airport and back to the van waiting for us in Vienna is uneventful, but the trip in Russia leaves again a lasting positive impression that we're not so different after all.

Live & Loud:

Moscow

Live & Loud:

Saint Petersburg

"The fans who do come are rabid..."

"We're not so different after all."

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Get Their Music.

[vinylbay777]

Six Bands Who Formed During College

College campuses have notoriously been popular places for bands to form. While one’s studies are usually the main reason for attendance, college is also a place where people develop life-long friendships and relationships with other like-minded people. And for those that are musically inclined and have that special kind of chemistry, a successful band may not be too far behind.

With colleges all over the world celebrating their commencement activities this month, Vinyl Bay 777, Long Island’s music outlet, is taking a look at bands that made it big out of college. Here are six whose rock star dreams became a reality.

1.       Vampire Weekend: When Vampire Weekend burst out onto the indie rock scene in 2006, they became known as “that band that formed at Columbia University.” The quartet of Ezra Koenig, Chris Tomson, Chris Baio and Rostam Batmanglij met while studying at the Ivy League school and didn’t waste any time getting music out. Their debut album was written and recorded while they were still students on campus.

2.       Coldplay: The guys of Coldplay met early on in their university careers, way before they ever had a single class in fact. Chris Martin and Jonny Buckland became friends in 1996 during orientation week at University College London. Less than a year later and with the additions of fellow classmate Guy Berryman, Martin’s friend Phil Harvey and Will Champion, the band started playing small clubs together.

3.       Queen: Brian May formed the band that would eventually become known as Queen while a student at Imperial College in London. He and high school friend Tim Staffell formed a band called Smile, recruiting drummer Roger Taylor through an ad in the college’s newspaper. Freddie Mercury, who was studying at Ealing Art College and was friends with Staffell, joined in 1970 following Staffell’s exit and that same year played their first show as Queen. That show happened to be at, where else, Imperial College.

4.       Pink Floyd: Before being known as Pink Floyd, Roger Waters, Nick Mason and Richard Wright were all architecture students at London Polytechnic playing music together as Sigma 6. Many of their early shows were played in the school’s Regent Street basement. About three years after forming, the band, now featuring Syd Barrett, would change their name to Pink Floyd and history would be made.

5.       Interpol: According to a 2003 interview with Pitchfork, Interpol formed at NYU, though they were not originally friends. Said Dan Kessler, “I approached everyone at some point or another, and started loosely jamming with our first drummer [Greg Drudy], who lived in the same dormitory as me; he was just starting to play drums, so it was very loose-- and bad. I was just happy to have someone to play with, to tell you the truth. I had a very hard time finding musicians to play with-- musicians at all, really-- and I saw Carlos in some class and approached him.”

6.       R.E.M.: Though three out of the four members of R.E.M. studied at the University of Georgia, the band did not meet on campus. Instead, mutual friend Kathleen O’Brien introduced Michael Stipe to fellow students Mike Mills and Bill Berry in fall 1979. Along with Peter Buck (who Stipe met at a record shop) the new band started playing music together in 1980. The new band played their first show at a nearby church at a gig set up to celebrate O’Brien’s birthday.

College campuses have historically been popular places for bands to form. From like-minded friends making music together to those who actively sought to recruit fellow musicians from their school or other means, the university atmosphere has bred many a band, including some very popular ones like the ones above. With the next group of college graduates heading out to follow their dreams, it is only a matter of time before the next big college band finds their way to the public eye.

                                                            ---

Find music from these collegiate bands and more at Vinyl Bay 777. Long Island’s top new independent record shop has thousands of titles to choose from in a wide selection of genres. Browse or selection of new and used vinyl records, CDs, cassettes, music DVDs, memorabilia and more in store at our Plainview location or online at vinylbay777.com. With more titles being added to our selection all the time, you never know what you might find at Vinyl Bay 777.

[stormyrecords-blog]

new arrivals 8-9-17

this week's tunes at noon is pretty special - Michael Malis trio with Jaribu Shahid from the legendary Griot Galaxy on bass - and it's free!! free music in the park in downtown dearborn. music starts at noon on thursday - don't be late!!! you don't want to miss this one!! items in stock thursday aug 9th,  2017

please pardon our rush on this promotion - the mogwai promotion does not start until aug 22nd. we will have these cool seven inches with coupons available on that date. thank you for your patience.  MOGWAI Party in the Dark seven inch $2.00this is a special coupon to get $2 off the full length new MOGWAI lp that comes out in early September. limit one per customer, you can buy this record, hear som eof the new lp, and then use the coupon inside for $2 off the full length when it is released on september 9th 2017. what a fun promotion!!  we will have the full length lp and box set for the release date in early sept. LOCKWOOD, ANNEATiger Balm / Amazonia Dreaming / Immersion  LP  $31.99Black Truffle presents a new issue of Annea Lockwood's classic 1970 tape piece "Tiger Balm", unavailable on vinyl for over thirty years, accompanied by two exquisite unreleased works for percussion and voice. "Created while Lockwood was living in the UK, the side-long 'Tiger Balm' is a singular work within the cannon of tape music. Inspired by research into the ritual function of music, the piece explores the possibility of evoking ancient communal memories through sound. Breaking entirely with the dynamic language of the musique concrète tradition, Lockwood uses a select palette of mainly unprocessed sonic elements chosen for their mysterious and erotic characteristics (a purring cat, a heartbeat, gongs, slowed down jaw harp, a tiger, a woman's breath, a plane passing overhead), presenting at most two sounds at once. As one sound flows organically into the next, their shared characteristics are highlighted, opening a space of dream logic and mysterious associations between nature and culture, the ancient and the modern. The B side presents two pieces for percussion recorded here for the first time. 'Amazonia Dreaming' (1987), performed by Dominic Donato, uses unaccompanied snare drum and voice to evoke the nocturnal soundscape of the Amazon rainforest. Unorthodox techniques and materials (marbles, chopsticks, a plastic jar lid) transform the snare into a resonant field of sensual textures. 'Immersion' (1998), performed by Donato and Frank Cassara, is a slow-moving exploration of gentle beating tones, performed on marimba, tam tams, and gong. Like the other two works presented on this LP, it provides captivating proof of Lockwood's belief in the complexity that deep listening can reveal within seemingly simple sounds" --Francis Plagne. Comes in a deluxe gatefold sleeve with archival pictures and liner notes by Annea Lockwood; Includes the score to "Amazonia Dreaming"; LP design by Stephen O'Malley; Mastered and cut by Rashad Becker at Dubplates & Mastering. MCPHEE & ANDRE JAUME, JOENuclear Family  CD  $16.992016 release. Multi-instrumental master Joe McPhee and his longtime colleague, French saxophonist and clarinetist André Jaume, joined forces for this studio recording in 1979 that was prepared but never released. It is primarily structured around pairs of tunes by Charles Mingus, Thelonious Monk, and Duke Ellington (or Billy Strayhorn), adding Ornette Coleman's "Lonely Woman" for good measure. The results are stunningly intimate and show the twosome's capacity for creative interplay at a fairly early stage in its unfolding. Mingus's "Pithecanthropus Erectus", which was performed by a larger group on Topology (1981), gets pared down to its essential walking-bass-ness, while Monk's "Evidence" is taken apart, and solo spots by both men are as riveting as one would expect. Part of Corbett vs. Dempsey's ongoing historical effort to unearth and reissue McPhee's important discography, this previously unknown recording will delight existing fans and make new ones. NURSE WITH WOUNDDark Fat  3LP BOX  $59.99Triple LP box set of Nurse With Wound's 2016 release Dark Fat. Dark Fat is a celebration and documentation of ten years of NWW shows, but to call Dark Fat a live album is far too simplistic. It is an entirely new recording constructed by combining the most interesting moments of the past decade into unique tracks. M.S. Waldron is to thank as he is archival commandant of the NWW oeuvre, and since 2006 he has recorded every single thing. He has recorded all the live shows, sound-checks, rehearsals, off-stage events, and even covertly recorded the private conversations of the band. These recordings have been studiously and lovingly crafted into a unique sonic tapestry by Waldron and Steven Stapleton with delicate embroidery and filigree added by Andrew Liles and Colin Potter. This is now spread over six sides of luxurious vinyl and encased in a box with a gatefold insert, all featuring the art of Steven Stapleton aka Babs Santini. Listen in the Dark and soak up the Fat. SUN RA & HIS ARKESTRAMy Way Is The Spaceways  LP  $18.992017 repress. "Fourth volume of spoken word wisdom -- direct from Saturn! The Music Is Like A Mirror / My Way Is The Spaceways / The Music Is A Sound Image / Music Is A Vibration" GALACTIC EXPLORERSEpitaph For Venus  CD  $17.99Mental Experience present a reissue of Galactic Explorers' Epitaph For Venus. Another album from the Pyramid label shrouded in mystery and produced by Toby Robinson in Cologne, circa 1974. Kosmische and head sounds with plenty of Minimoog, analog synths/keyboards, effects, loops, tape manipulation, treated percussions, etc., courtesy of Galactic Explorers, an electronic, minimal, ambient krautrock trio featuring Reinhard Karwatky (Dzyan). Take a trip to the inner regions of your mind, see ancient solar systems forming, and listen to cosmic winds and vibrations while sine waves of pure bliss will give you total peace of mind. RIYL: Terry Riley, Popol Vuh, Sand, Peter Michael Hamel, Tangerine Dream, Baba Yaga, Cluster, Cozmic Corridors, Brainticket. 24-bit domain remaster from the original tapes; Insert with liner notes by Alan Freeman, head boss at Ultima Thule and author of The Crack In The Cosmic Egg (1996). AREL, BULENTElectronic Music 1960-1973   LP  $24.992017 repress; LP version. Bülent Arel's (1919-1990) work occupies a special place in the history of electronic music, with one thing being certain: Arel's work is still fresh, groundbreaking, and it always look outs for the next adventure in sound. Sub Rosa present a collection of his works here as part of their Early Electronic series. Bülent Arel was a Turkish-born American composer of electronic and contemporary classical music. He was also a devoted teacher, a sculptor, and a painter. From 1940 to 1947, Arel studied composition, piano, and 20th century classical music at the Ankara Conservatory. In 1959, Arel came to the US on a grant by the Rockefeller Foundation to work at the Columbia-Princeton Electronic Music Center. By that time the center had just started out under its director Vladimir Ussachevsky. During Arel's work in Princeton he also met Edgard Varèse, with whom in 1962 he worked on the electronic sections of Varèse's Déserts. Frank Zappa lists Arel as a key influence. Today's electronic music - whether it is Autechre's Confield (2001), Aphex Twin's Selected Ambient Works Vol. II (1999), or Squarepusher's Do You Know Squarepusher (2001) - builds upon a solid foundation which Bülent Arel helped to pave. Wire #403: Sept. 2017 MAG   $10.50"Lichens, 21st century polymath Robert Aubrey Lowe talks patching up modular synths, vocalising doom metal, and acting the part. Meanwhile, inside the issue... Peter King, New Zealand lathe cutter to the likes of The Dead C, Lee Ranaldo, Acid Mothers Temple, and No-Neck Blues Band. A report on composers who require musicians to throw their bodies as well as their souls into their performances, including Michael Baldwin, Celeste Oram, Louis d'Heudieres, Alwynne Pritchard and others. Plus: Invisible Jukebox: Sparks; Epiphanies: Maggi Payne; Inner Sleeve: Ryoko Akama; Global Ear: Algarve; Unofficial Channels: Pop Not Slop." HIRO KONELove Is The Capital  LP  $18.99"Love Is The Capital the debut LP by Hiro Kone, the recording alias of Nicky Mao. The album is a follow-up to the incredibly well received Fallen Angels cassette, bringing with it some of Mao's most emotionally and politically driven work yet. It is Hiro Kone's long coming opus, examining a number of all-too-relevant themes: capital, the state, egoism, anxiety, and steadfast optimism. The eight songs on Love Is The Capital highlight Mao's austere, politicized techno battling for the greater good. Songs are visceral meditations of rhythm, noise, and melody in the vein of Pan Sonic, Chris & Cosey, Muslimgauze, and Kangding Ray. The sounds were often recorded in scenes of isolation, whether physically or emotionally. 'Infinite Regress' was during a trek with RLoveoxy Farman (Wetware) up to the sleepy, upstate NY town of Palenville. There, frozen in a cabin with the most DIY of recording booths, Mao recorded Roxy's vocals and what would be the track that would put into motion the entire album. 'Less Than Two Seconds' was written in a single afternoon in late December 2015 when it was revealed that the grand jury had declined to indict the police officer who shot to death 12-year old Tamir Rice. The taut techno, industrial minimalism, and aural upheaval is embedded in tracks 'Rukhsana' (featuring Drew McDowall, formerly of Coil & Psychic TV, on modular synthesizer), 'The Place Where Spirits Get Eaten,' and 'Less Than Two Seconds,' an emotionally wrought blitz of serrated Monomachine tones flanked by timeless recordings of essayist, poet, and social writer James Baldwin. Mao ventures deep into heady, prismatic runs of hypnotic techno, on 'Don't Drink the Water' and 'The Declared Enemy.' On opener 'Being Earnest' and 'Love is the Capital,' foreboding motifs brood their way back into the narrative. Still, the album maintains a sense transformation, burdened with an alien tension- the awareness of an impending and necessary collapse. And what may come next." MOON DIAGRAMSLifetime Of Love  2LP  $29.99"Lifetime Of Love is the debut album by Moon Diagrams, the solo recording project of Deerhunter co-founder and drummer Moses John Archuleta. Recorded in Georgia (Atlanta and Athens) and Manhattan (East Village) over a 10-year period, Lifetime Of Love finds Archuleta processing various stages of love, loss, and regeneration via forlorn pop, minimal techno, and weightless experimentation. Throughout each of the 8 songs, Archuleta follows fits of inspiration or moments of chance. By lifting samples from thrift store-sourced LPs, removed from their sleeves and chosen at random to find loops and textures, Archuleta lets the unknown happen naturally, but still confined to a specific set of boundaries. 'Bodymaker' and 'Nightmoves' feature Archuleta's earliest solo recordings, captured between the release of Deerhunter's 2007 breakout LP Cryptograms and 2008 LP Microcastle. The two songs also show Archuleta's willingness to venture outside of the taut, mesmerizing drone rock of his main band. The chilling, ambient techno of 'Nightmoves' perfectly foils and compliments the broodingly sullen but sincerely beautiful shuffle into the dark. In 2012, Archuleta decided to pick up his recording activity, challenging himself to make a solo album. Locking himself in his practice space and using only the spare instruments laying around, Archuleta would enter fugue states in recordings. This period yielded a disparate mix of sonic sketches, from eerily bucolic choir recordings ('Playground'), dusty art-pop ('Moon Diagrams'), and infectiously jubilant dance pop ('End of Heartache'). For the final period, Archuleta found inspiration after an extended stint in Berlin, estranged from his friends and family. But Archuleta used the relative isolation to take in the city's dark energy, eventually returning home to finish the album with a newfound sense of resolve. Subtly grandiose and quietly epic, the album explores a nascent beginning, a morose middle, and a bittersweet, optimistic end." ADI GELBARTPreemptive Musical Offerings To Satisfy Our Future Masters  LP  $30.99For his next release on Felix Kubin's Gagarin Records, multi-instrumentalist Adi Gelbart delivers twelve Preemptive Musical Offerings To Satisfy Our Future Masters. With a spiraling musical complexity reminiscent of film scores, BBC Radiophonic Workshop, library music, criminal swing, Russian vitamins, tinnitus' twist, abstract jazz and musique concrète, Gelbart surpasses himself this time by augmenting his palette of instruments to the extent where he becomes a small orchestra. "The Source" of his musical identity plays "The Message" of synths, broken organs, harpsichord (!), double bass, horns, cymbals and crispy drum machines. It's a "Spacetime Reverie," where "Tsuburaya" blows "Leaves For Gamera" while "He Who Speaks Through Pyramids" walks through "Echoville" with "Dust" on his shoes, contemplating the "Birth Of Alpha" after "The Big Sleep." While humming to songs of the second moon, the "Harpsichord Automata" leads "The March Of The Thinking Machines" to a blissful silver big bang. The LP comes in a beautifully designed sleeve with cover artwork by Berlin-based German illustration star Benedikt Rugar, who has contributed to newspapers such as The New York Times and Spiegel, as well as numerous animation film festivals. A download card is included with the purchase of the record. KING BUCKNOR JR. & AFRODISK BEAT 79African Woman LP  $26.99Hot Casa present a reissue of King Bucknor Jr. & Afrodisk Beat 79's African Woman, originally released in 1979. African Woman is a fantastic Afro-beat album from the Fela Anikulapo Kuti disciple and Kalakuta Republic member. A sublime spiritual and political session recorded in 1979 at the EMI studio in Lagos, Nigeria. Arranged and self-produced, Kingsley Bucknor's second album, hopelessly obscure and impossible to find, ranks alongside the best Afro-beat albums in history. At the age of 19, King Bucknor Jr., also known as the Black Isaiah of Africa, released his second album backed by a 16-piece band called The Afrodisk, and ten background singers. Two long and hypnotic grooves with all the Afro-beat ingredients: fluid and complex drums patterns, strong horns, female voices on chorus, strong lyrics, beautiful keys, and horns solos. Essential for all Afro collectors and music lovers. Vinyl replica; Remastered by Carvery (UK); Includes inner sleeve with an interview. RAINFOREST SPIRITUAL ENSLAVEMENTFallen Leaves Camouflaged Behind Tropical Flowers  LP  $24.99Marking six years of Rainforest Spiritual Enslavement's cultish, elemental output, Dominick Fernow (Prurient) gives the project's first ever release a vinyl pressing for the first time, coiling up two extended tracts of impure, unnatural gloom ranking amongst his most cherished works. Fallen Leaves Camouflaged Behind Tropical Flowers was originally released on tape in 2011 in an edition of 59. When RSE was first conceived with Fallen Leaves Camouflaged Behind Tropical Flowers in 2011, the project was shrouded in a veil of mystery which left many fiends guessing to its provenance -- it seemed too far reduced to be identified as Fernow's work, but also didn't easily resonate with anyone of Hospital Productions' usual suspects, instead holding a unique line of stygian slow techno that sounded like some our bleakest, febrile fantasies come to life. Soon enough RSE's creator and navigator was indeed revealed to be Fernow, and the project became regarded among his most prized golems by those in the know, not least because it was starkly defined in contrast to his myriad other pseudonyms -- Vatican Shadow, Prurient, Christian Cosmos, Force Publique Congo, and so on -- by dint of its perceived restraint and glowering minimalism. Perhaps because of that stringent, meditative asceticism, the hypnotic grip of RSE has remained undiminished and perhaps as strong as ever on this new vinyl edition, where the predator heartbeat and keening tonal groans of "Life Would Transform" sound more pensive and narcotically effective than ever, and the borderland industrial chug and clag of "Skull Covered In Moss" seems to be seated deeper into its dank gloom, emulating a location recording of a burial-by-mud in some godforsaken no-man's-land, with lurking parakeets and mechanical birds awaiting their turn on your soon-to-be carrion. RIYL: Coil, Demdike Stare, Prurient, Brian Eno / Jon Hassell's Fourth World (1980). Remastered by Paul Corley; Cut at Dubplates & Mastering, Berlin. Edition of 500. OMAR KHORSHID AND HIS GROUPLive in Australia 1981  LP  $25.99This is the first live concert recording ever issued of legendary Egyptian guitarist Omar Khorshid and his group. It features tracks recorded during his 1981 tour of Australia, including live versions of songs that grace his various LPs recorded for Lebanese and Egyptian labels during the 1970s with one phenomenal tune, "Al Rabieh," being exclusive here as never before issued in any form. The sound is surprisingly great for a live cassette recording and the band is as sharp and monumental as ever, with stunning instrumental performances throughout, including an extended improvisational rhythmic exchange between percussionist Ibrahim Tawfiek and Omar's electric guitar on the epic track "Sidi Mansour." This record is loaded with Khorshid's signature microtonal Arabesque surf guitar elegance darting atop the backing band's brilliant accompaniment, and the tones of organist Fouad Rohaiem sound raw and abrasive, as though it were still 1973. The album has even more nostalgic (and tragic) significance as these shows would be his last; a car accident claiming Omar's life within 72 hours of flying back to Cairo from Australia. Mohamed Amine, Khorshid's lifelong friend and member of his group from 1975-1981, recorded these tracks and provided the photographs that embellish the beautiful gatefold jacket that accompanies this LP. Collected and researched by Khorshid historian Hany Zaki in Cairo, this unbelievable treasure is now available for the world to behold. Limited edition LP release in a full-color gatefold jacket with exquisite photos from Mohamed Amine's personal archive and informative liner notes by Hany Zaki. TUNES AT NOONevery thursday at 12 noon in dearborn city hall park at the corner of michigan ave and schaeferone hour of free music - bring your lunch and enjoy some fun in the sun!! 8/10 Michael Malis TrioMichael Malis is a pianist and composer based in Detroit, MI. Malis bridges the gap between original composed, complex material and the spontaneity of improvisation. His trio (piano, bass, drums),   featured on his latest album, has toured in the United States and Canada, and in September 2016, they performed at the Detroit International Jazz Festival. 8/17 Viands "Viands is a spontaneous collaboration between two auteurs of Detroit's underground music scene: Joel Peterson and David Shettler. The music they create is a deep, reflective and fearless alternate-reality keyboard meditation that draws on the pair's broad musical vision to explore new vistas.

[vacationsoup]

New Post has been published on https://vacationsoup.com/2019-confirmed-acts-for-the-edinburgh-fringe/

2019 Confirmed Acts for The Edinburgh Fringe

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival is the world’s largest arts festival with performances spanning the whole of the artistic spectrum, including comedy, dance, musicals, opera, theatre, spoken word and cabaret. To be as inclusive as possible, the festival is open to all performers, both newcomers and big international names. In 2018, the festival ran for 25 days with over 55,000 performances. In 2019, the festival is set to take place from 2nd to 26th August, although some performances may start earlier. Here’s some of the acts who have already been confirmed for this year’s festival.

The Ticket Box Office

Comedy Paul Merton’s Impro Chums Star of BBC’s Have I Got News For You Paul Merton is heading to Edinburgh again with his highly-acclaimed Impro Chums, ready to take audience suggestions and turn them into something hysterical. Venue: Pleasance Courtyard. Dates: August 8th – 17th. Time: 4pm.

Henning Wehn: Get On With It The self-proclaimed German Comedy Ambassador, Henning Wehn has wowed audiences with his stances on being an immigrant in the UK and German stereotypes. Having appeared on several TV comedy shows, including 8 Out of 10 Cats and QI, he will perform his current stand-up show Get On With It. Venue: The Queen’s Hall. Dates: Every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday beginning August 1st. Time: 7pm.

Spontaneous Potter Whether you are a fan of the books by J K Rowling or not, it is impossible not to like this hilarious take on Harry Potter. A complete improvisation performed by the Spontaneous Players and based on the title of a fan fiction which changes daily, there is even live musical accompaniment to the play. Venue: Gilded Balloon Rose Theatre. Dates: July 31st; August 1st – 25th. Time: 9:30pm.

Daniel Sloss: X Beginning his comedy career at the age of just 16, Daniel Sloss has been a hit on the comedy circuit for over ten years. This year he is making a one-night return to the Edinburgh Fringe following the success of his two Netflix specials. Venue: Edinburgh Playhouse. Date: August 15th. Time: 7:30pm.

David O’Doherty: Ultrasound Well known for his musical comedy, playing songs on the keyboard he was bought for his Confirmation, David O’Doherty returns to the Fringe for the eighteenth time where he will once again attempt – and fail – to fix all the wrongs in the world. Venue: Assembly George Square. Dates: July 31st; August 1st – 12th; 14th – 26th. Time: 7:30pm.

Theatre Of Mice and Men Performed by Nigel Miles-Thomas and Michael Roy Andrew, John Steinbeck’s drama about two migrant ranch workers and their experiences during the Great Depression had a hit run in 2015 and is back by popular demand. Venue: Gilded Balloon Teviot. Dates: July 31st; August 1st – 12th; 14th – 19th; 21st – 26th. Time: 1:30pm.

Fawlty Towers the Dining Experience Back at the Fringe this year is the longest-running tribute show Fawlty Tower the Dining Experience. A fully-immersive performance, you will get served a three-course meal and be guaranteed non-stop laughs throughout. The show is 70% improvised so it is never the same experience twice. Venue: Imagination Workshop. Dates: August 1st – 2nd; 4th – 26th. Times: Vary; check the calendar on the Fringe website for more details.

Kemp’s Jig Steve Taylor stars as Will Kemp, actor and celebrity of Shakespearean England. Kemp has created many comedic roles for Shakespeare and wishes to explore these further, but as Shakespeare’s profile grows, the Bard craves respectability. After too many disagreements, the men part company, leading Kemp on a publicity stunt of Morris dancing up and down England. A must for fans of Shakespeare in Love or Upstart Crow. Venue: theSpace on the Mile. Dates: August 2nd, 4th, 6th, 8th, 10th, 13th, 15th, 17th. Time: 6:55pm.

Trainspotting Live Irvine Welsh’s classic is brought to life in this immersive theatre experience. Taking place in a tunnel underneath the city of Edinburgh, the audience are full participants in the action, including the famous toilet scene. This will be the play’s fifth time at the festival, after selling out four previous seasons; be sure to book ahead to secure tickets. Venue: Venue 150 at EICC. Dates: August 1st – 6th; 8th – 13th; 15th – 20th; 22nd – 26th. Times: Vary; check the calendar on the Fringe website for more details.

The Very Well-Fed Caterpillar A funny adult twist on the well-loved children’s classic, The Very Well-Fed Caterpillar tells the story of a caterpillar with a love for food who is struggling to turn into a butterfly. As his classmates make the change around him, he is still in search of a cocoon that fits his size. Venue: theSpace @ Surgeons Hall. Dates: August 12th – 17th; 19th – 24th. Times: Vary; check the calendar on the Fringe website for more details.

Under Milk Wood Following 2018’s hugely successful run of Sophocles’s Antigone, the Malvern Theatre’s Young Company perform again at the Fringe this year, this time with an adaptation of Dylan Thomas’s Under Milk Wood, the funny and poignant tale of a Welsh seaside town and its inhabitants. Venue: theSpace @ Niddry Street. Dates: August 12th – 17th. Time: 3:50pm.

Musicals and Opera Gilbert and Sullivan’s Improbable New Musical: Less Miserable The Coily Dart Theatre Company present a show about Gilbert and Sullivan in the afterlife. Gilbert claims that as masters of the genre of musical theatre, all current musicals are just variations on their own plots. Sullivan then challenges him to a task: to tell the story of the longest-running musical but only using their songs. Gilbert accepts, but only if he can have his happy ending. As Gilbert takes on the challenge, you will be treated to music from each of their operettas and lots of dancing and singing. Venue: theSpace @ Niddry Street. Dates: August 2nd – 3rd; 5th – 10th. Time: 11:20am.

Songs For a New World Telling the story of a group of immigrants finding their feet in their new life in post-World War II New York, Simply Theatre perform a new adaptation of this rarely-performed song cycle with a cast of ten and live music. Venue: theSpace @ Surgeons Hall. Dates: August 2nd – 3rd; 5th – 10th. Time: 5:50pm. Best of the West End After selling out their shows the previous three years, American Performing Arts International return with a selection of hits from West End musicals to delight audiences again. The group will also be performing the Best of Broadway during the Fringe as well. Venue: theSpace @ Symposium Hall. Dates: August 2nd – 3rd; 5th – 10th. Time: 11:05am.

Elizabethan Based on genuine songs from the Renaissance period, David William stars as Tobias Bacon, who lusts and lutes his way through Elizabethan England with his three lovers, all with the help of the audience and some very silly wigs. Venue: theSpace @ Surgeon Hall. Dates: August 2nd – 10th; 12th – 17th; 19th – 23rd. Time: 6:05pm.

Verity Verity is not having a great time at the moment. She has just been ditched by her fiancé on their wedding day and it is quite possible she is about to be fired. And if that was not bad enough, her family are always on her back. Join Verity as she tries to put her life back together, which involves a spot of online stalking, drinking a hell of a lot of cocktails and making an unlikely friend. Venue: theSpace on the Mile. Dates: August 13th – 17th. Time: 4:50pm.

Music The Aretha Franklin Story Featuring the star of Thriller Live in the West End Cleopatra Higgins, you will journey through the life of the Queen of Soul and 21-times Grammy Winner, Aretha Franklin. Performed by Night Owl Shows, they deliver Franklin’s story and music in their own signature style. Venue: theSpace @ Symposium Hall. Dates: August 2nd – 25th. Time: 2:50pm.

Bala Baile Edinburgh-based Latin trio Bala Baile perform a unique blend of Cuban son, boogaloo and the blues. This year they will be performing their original music in the Jazz Bar, the perfect venue for a Latin party. Venue: The Jazz Bar. Dates: August 8th; 11th – 14th. Time: Midnight.

Brass Gumbo Plays the Music of the Beatles For a different take on the music of the Beatles, performed on trumpet, sousaphone, saxophone, trombone and drums, head to see Brass Gumbo. A Scotland-based jazz and funk brass band, they do a great job of making the melodies their own. Venue: The Jazz Bar. Dates: August 19th – 23rd. Time: 4pm.

Massaoke Mixtape A fantastic way to spend the late evening, Massaoke Mixtape has all the fun of karaoke, except you are doing it en masse. A huge singalong bonanza, you the audience will help the live band create the ultimate mixtape with the aid of giant video lyrics. There will be classic anthems, mashups, megamixes and more. Venue: Assembly George Square. Dates: August 1st – 4th; 8th – 11th; 15th – 18th; 22nd – 25th. Time: 11:30pm.

Rock Choir Live Described as the most popular choir experience available to the general public, Rock Choir has over 30,000 members across 400 communities and is the largest organisation of its kind to offer people the chance to sing without the need for an audition or the ability to read music. Venue: theSpace Triplex. Dates: August 2nd – 24th. Time: 7:20pm and 8:20pm.

Dance, Physical Theatre and Circus Cirque Berserk! Cirque Berserk! are Britain’s largest theatre-circus spectacular and are back at the Edinburgh Fringe after their highly successful debut last year. Bringing traditional circus acts bang up-to-date, the troupe have over 30 performers, including acrobats, aerialists, stuntmen, dancers and musicians. Venue: Pleasance at EICC. Dates: August 2nd – 20th; 22nd – 25th. Times: Vary; check the calendar on the Fringe website for more details.

Circa: Humans One of the most popular acts to perform at the Fringe, this year Circa’s show explores the human body, what it means to be human and how our bodies and aspirations are connected to the world around us and make us who we are. Performed by ten acrobats, the question of how much we can take – both physically and emotionally – is asked and pondered. Venue: Underbelly’s Circus Hub on the Meadows. Dates: August 2nd – 6th; 8th – 11th; 13th – 18th; 20th – 24th. Time: 7pm.

Ceilidhs in Lauriston Hall Ceildh is a social event with Scottish folk dancing, singing and storytelling, and this event gives you the opportunity to try this tradition yourself. Priority admission is given to those who come without handbags, rucksacks and bags, and although taking videos and photos is OK, the musicians are very strict on the use of mobiles for other reasons. As dancing and singing is thirsty work, there is also a bar there for your enjoyment and refreshment. Venue: Lauriston Halls. Dates: August 2nd – 3rd; 5th – 10th; 12th – 17th; 19th – 24th. Time: 9pm.

Black Blues Brothers A completely unique act, the Circo e Dintorni fuse together rhythm and blues with African culture to perform their version of the cult hit movie The Blues Brothers. Watch as the five acrobats perform dances, fire routines and make human pyramids using the furniture and surroundings as props. Venue: Assembly Rooms. Dates: August 1st – 25th. Time: 4:30pm.

From India to Triana A wonderful journey of dances around the world, The Rootless Company explore the similarities and differences of the globe’s dance styles, from the primitive sounds of India to the passionate flamenco. This performance is a glorious mix of world communities coming together to connect as one. Venue: theSpace Triplex. Dates: August 2nd – 10th; 12th – 24th. Time: 6:10pm.

Children’s Shows Children are Stinky All the way from Australia come the Circus Trick Tease who will bring you circus acts such as acrobatics, stunts and hula-hooping along with a great soundtrack and lots of belly laughs. Circus Trick Tease are a five-star act and are often sold out, so book early to avoid disappointment. Venue: Assembly George Square Gardens. Dates: August 1st – 6th; 8th – 13th; 15th – 20th; 22nd – 26th. Time: 1:30pm.

Lost in a Book Melissa loves reading her favourite fairy stories. But then one day, as she is rereading them, she goes from turning the pages to actually living in the stories themselves. As she jumps from tales such as Cinderella to Beauty and the Beast, she tries to fix the problems she causes. But with no way of controlling how the stories go, will she manage to find her own happy ending and make her way back home? Venue: theSpace @ Surgeons Hall. Dates: August 6th – 8th. Time: 11am.

Morgan and West: Unbelievable Science If your young ones love explosions and thrills then this show is perfect. Morgan and West are magicians, time travellers and all-round great chaps but they have a secret – they are also amazing scientists, super qualified in the fields of chemistry, biology and physics. In this show, you will see them conduct experiments right before your very eyes. Venue: Assembly George Square. Dates: July 31st; August 1st – 20th; 22nd – 25th. Time: 4:30pm.

The New and Improved I Hate Children Children’s Show A multi-entertainment show including live music, jokes, magic and family time, this show aims to tease and embarrass the teenagers in order to get a giggle out of the younger audience. A fun experience for all the family. Venue: theSpace @ Surgeons Hall. Dates: August 2nd – 11th; 16th – 18th; 23rd – 25th. Time: 1:25pm.

Shark in the Park Based on the books by Nick Sharratt and performed by the Nonsense Room Productions, the creative team behind The Hairy McLary Show, the family-friendly musical tells the story of Timothy Pope as he goes on three adventures with his telescope. Venue: Assembly George Square. Dates: July 31st; August 1st – 13th; 15th – 18th. Time: 10:30am.

Splash Test Dummies From the makers of Trash Test Dummies comes a new show all set around the theme of water. Watch as they perform acrobatic stunts such as diving from bathtubs to beaches and make you roar with laughter with their slapstick silliness. Venue: Underbelly’s Circus Hub on the Meadows. Dates: August 3rd – 11th; 13th – 18th; 20th – 24th. Time: 1pm.

Here’s just a sample of what’s going to be on at this year’s festival. More and more acts will be announced every month in the run-up to August. Keep an eye on the Edinburgh Fringe Festival’s website to stay updated.

[channelnewswire-blog]

10 moments in New Zealand bass - Scene|AudioCulture

Bass is among the elements in music that is often overlooked when listening to a song. Sure, you can hear it pumped up and beaming out of automobiles as they drive along, and particular categories of music do emphasise the beat and low radio frequencies. Unless it's one of the tune's hooks, you're most likely listening to the vocals or a lead instrument.

Phil Bowering (Low Profile) taping bass in Steve Garden's studio, 1983 - Murray Cammick Collection

Along with drums, the bass underpins a song and offers it a solid rhythmic structure. As bass uses tune in addition to rhythm, if utilized right it produces motion that moves the song along and points the way forward.

Bass players are an unusual type of musician, and while there are no set rules, much of the gamers I've satisfied along the way have a quiet disposition. They're frequently found standing at the back and bridging the musical communication in between the lead and rhythm sections, or just lifting a knowing eyebrow. There's an arcane knowledge there, a code, and between bass players, an understanding of simply how cool the instrument is.

Ryan Monga and Billy Kristian, APRA Silver Scrolls, 1997 - Murray Cammick Collection

When bass clicked for me, I seemed like I 'd been let in on a world that couple of individuals comprehended. Bass instruments took on a lightsaber-like mystique and my listening focus changed permanently; no more could I simply listen to the vocals and guitar or secrets without breaking the numerous elements down in my head.

It's difficult to select just 10. My shortlist was well over 20 and does not consist of some crucial individuals so I'll mention them here ... Paul Woolright( Ticket, Dave McArtney and the Pink Flamingos, Cruise Lane, Th'Dudes, Justin Harwood( The Chills, Luna), Chris Orange ( The Terrorways, The Features), Sid Limbert( Mild Annie, The Warratahs, Midge Marsden Band, Raglan legends The Mudsharks), Neil Edwards( The Underdogs, The Human Instinct)Nigel Griggs( Split Enz, Schnell Fenster), Tina Matthews ( The Crocodiles, Wide Mouthed Frogs), Michael Chunn (Split Enz, Resident Band), Charlie Tumahai, Mike Hall( Pluto) Joe Lonie ( Supergroove )... I make sure readers will have lots of other ideas but here we opt for a few of my favourite gamers and bass parts in New Zealand music.

It's difficult to hear bass over laptop computer speakers so maybe plug into an external system and pump up that bass EQ or usage earphones-- they generally improve the bass frequencies. Enjoy.

1. Like love it grows more powerful

Ryan Monga-- Time Makes A Wine (Ardijah, 1987)

Betty-Anne and Ryan Monga, 1990s.

Ardijah is one of our finest funk bands, and Ryan Monga is among New Zealand's greatest bass players, specifically in the slap-bass design developed by the great American funk players such as Larry Graham, Bootsy Collins and the Brothers Johnson. Monga is a titan, he can keep a tasteful beat bouncing along with his thumb, decorating with fills that breeze at the octave above the root note. He has actually inspired countless others to use up the bass and Ardijah's music constantly gets a party going. Here is simply one of their hit tracks, 'Time Makes A Wine'.

2. A lot caring now that I understand

Frits Stigter-- Yesterday Was Just The Beginning of My Life (Mark Williams, 1975)

Frits Stigter had a long career as a bassist, from Dizzy Limits and Timberjack through The Quincy Conserve and Redeye ... along the way he played a lot of jazz-rock and soul. The bass line on the Vanda-Young penned 'Yesterday ...' by Mark Williams is an exercise directly out of the James Jamerson/Motown songbook, funky as all get-out with an emphasis on the very first beat of the bar, a rest, accented rhythms and hectic runs taking place towards the end of the bar. And it goes nuts-out towards the fadeout. Tom Swainson's drums are pretty shit-hot too. Likewise listen to soul cover 'A Home For Sale' for some exceptional disco beats and octave fills.

3. I got my wash hose pipe

Phil Bowering-- Elephunk (Low Profile, 1984)

Elephunk in My Soup - the 1984 Low Profile (Phil Bowering and Steve Garden) EP

Phil Bowering and Steve Garden came down to some fun studio improvisation and experimentation in the 1980s. Under the moniker Low Profile they launched two albums and 3 EPs, including this wonderful, kooky tune on the 1984 EP Elephunk In My Soup. It induced a massive case of earworm for practically anyone who heard it, largely due to that bouncing bass line, which brings to life the lyric about having his wash tube. They wanted to capitalise on the theme and released their second album Elephunkin'in 1987, but this tune has a life all its own. Can all of us do some Elephunk please? BYO wash hose.

4. Great old love shine

Clinton Brown-- Sugary Food Wine (Mark Williams, 1976)

Yes, I like Mark Williams's EMI duration. Clinton Brown is among our finest players, with a history that returns further than Rockinghorse, to Rebirth and Taylor-- in the future he signed up with The Warratahs, and more just recently the Rag Poets. He has a nation funk about his using this track, from Mark Williams's second album, 1976's Sweet Trials. Reece Kirk composed'Great Old Love Shine'while under a Rod Stewart/'Maggie May'influence; it was a No. 7 hit and a finalist for that year's APRA Silver Scroll. Brown is all nation funk punk on this, closer to a Duck Dunn/Stax soul style. For more of Clinton's playing check out Rockinghorse's 'Thru the Southern Moonlight'.

5. There's a rainbow before me

Kevin Haines-- Te Rereketanga O Te Ra/ What A Distinction A Day Makes (Whirimako Black, 2012)

Kevin Haines - Andrew Dubber A groovy and emotional jazz player and a charming man, Kevin Haines is the dad of Nathan and Joel Haines, and an inspiration for many gamers. A couple of decades back I utilized to watch Kevin backing Tommy Adderley on Fridays at the London Bar in Auckland. He was my Yoda; showed me how to set up a double-bass bridge and taught me the essentials of chord theory, then sent me on my method. I'll constantly be grateful for that knowledge. Here with the very gifted Whirimako Black he shows how to leave rests and space and then give the tune a little push along in the most seductive method. And from the very same album, 2012's Soul Sessions, listen to the Bacharach classic, 'The Appearance of Love'.

6. I went out, you left me

Dave Gent-- Why Does Love Do This To Me? (Exponents, 1992)

Still from the video aim for Why Does Love Do This To Me, 1992

Potentially the most recognisable introduction to a traditional New Zealand pop tune, by among the very best showmen in among the finest bands, The Exponents. As quickly as your hear those bass notes, you understand what the song is. Driving beat on the verses, eighth-note fun on the choruses, great deals of existence, sustain and enjoyable. Dave Gent's confident, assertive pop-punk playing style is a hallmark of the Exponents noise. In live scenarios, rather than hanging at the back near the drummer (Michael "Harry" Harrilambi), Dave would have his foot on the phase screen or perch right on the edge of the stage gazing down the punters. In the early days he had a practice of tossing his preferred Fender bass up in the air with overall neglect as they walked offstage. He stopped doing that after it lastly broke. As Joni states, you do not know what you've got till it's gone.

7. Run for cover

Lisle Kinney-- Latin Fan (Hey There Sailor, 1977)

Lisle Kinney with DD Smash, likely taken on the beach trip January 1982 - Picture by Murray Cammick

A latin/ bossa affected beat, played highly by the Duke-- aka Lisle Kinney, the Hi Sailor member who for a while was lost at sea, or possibly on a Native American appointment. Here he extends, playing a style that truly presses forward (whereas on 'Blue Lady', say, he largely mirrors the very same beat as the kick drum). Lisle started playing Hawai'ian instrumentals in his teenagers and signed up with Auckland soul band Brown Street led by Kaye Wolfgramm and Steve Wilson in the mid-1970s. If you desire to go previous Hello Sailor and discover more of the Duke, go check out the 1982 DD Smash debut Cool Bananas, with'Devil You Know',' Bury That Weapon ',' Conserve Yer '-- or Graham Brazier's 1981 launching solo album Inside Out, on' Street Young boy 'and'Difficulty In Your World'.

8. You think you are but we understand you're not

Ronnie Recent-- Mysterex (Scavengers, 1979)

Ronnie Current, Zwines 1978 - Image by Murray Cammick

My description on this one must match the concise nature of the tune itself, so I'll keep it brief. The musical hook in 'Mysterex', consisted of on the landmark AK79 compliation, originates from the coming down bass introduction played by Ronnie Recent (Brendan Perry, later on to acquire fame with Dead Can Dance), which is doubled by the guitar until the verse starts. Easy wonderful enjoyable from The Scavengers, it's energetic garage punk and a sneering dig at an ex-band member's social standing. Good bass too, that 3/4 sized Fender Mustang, which came complete with a factory racing stripe.

9. A three-four-five beat, I'm waltzing away ...

Bones Hillman-- Counting The Beat (The Swingers, 1981)

The Swingers in 1979: Bones Hillman, Phil Judd, Buster Stiggs

Jagged, three-piece oriented playing from Bones Hillman, who went on to big things in Midnight Oil. Together with Phil Judd and Buster Stiggs, he'll constantly be one corner of that initial zany Swingers musical triangle to me. Likewise: 'One Track Mind','One Excellent Factor' ... "You know two wrongs don't make a right."

10. The problem is, you're so tall

Eru Kaukau-- I Need Your Love (Golden Harvest, 1977)

Eru Kaukau - Golden Harvest

Classic disco funk, total with those octave fills that dominated the bass parts throughout the disco age, 'I Need Your Love' is the song Golden Harvest is best understood for. The Kaukau siblings were eventually signed up with by diva Karl Gordon, but their abilities were developed with help from promoter Benny Levin, who got them musical lessons from some top-flight skilled specialists, with Eru "Junior" Kaukau getting bass suggestions from Billy Kristian. 11. Radiant from the cellular light Marika Hodgson-- Search for accomplishment. Troy Kingi (Sorrento, 2018)

Stop the presses, this one's just in and it's an instant classic. in true This Is Spinal Tap fashion, I'm taking this list all the method to 11. It's from Marika Hodgson, one of Aotearoa's the majority of skilled bass gamers, under her new task name Sorrento. Marika has worked with Moana & The People, Hollie Smith, Nathan Haines and plenty of other acts. Here, she sets the scene with cool filter-swept bass lines and the remarkable emotional vocals of Troy Kingi. Steven Shaw is the editor of AudioCulture

and a working musician

[dustedmagazine]

Dust, Volume 3, Number 7

The Jerry Cans

Whether they come from Ladakh, Nunavut, or Detroit, the albums featured in this instalment of our bite-sized review column managed to catch our ears. Whether jazz, techno, or just plain unclassifiable, maybe they'll catch yours too. Contributions from Bill Meyer, Ian Mathers, Olivia Bradley-Skill, Justin Cober-Lake, and Eric McDowell.

Aaron Dilloway — The Gag File (Dais)

The Gag File by Aaron Dilloway

Is The Gag File a compilation of jokes or a compendium of emetic influences? The album cover’s image of a ventriloquist’s dummy may suggest the former, but this is show business of a particularly queasy bent. Slowed-down vocal and rhythm loops mix with a chorus of whistles to distinctly uneasy effect. A narcotized narrator assures the listener that “It’s alright” over and over, sinking into a miasma of sci-fi synths that give way to a party where everyone sounds too wasted to perform the sexual act prescribed by the Little Feat song on the hi-fi. Paradoxically the passages where Dilloway gets his noise ya-yas out are the moments of relief, since they invite you to bang your head in time to the locked grooves and spliced tapes rather than think about what’s really going on.

Bill Meyer

Kelly Lee Owens - s/t (Smalltown Supersound)

There are plenty of wonderful first albums out there, and also plenty of wonderful, let’s say, fifth albums; what’s significantly rarer than either of those on their own is a debut that has the quiet self-assurance and comfort in its own skin that’s much more typical of those great fifth albums. All of which is to say that Kelly Lee Owens is the kind of great first album that’s seemingly leapfrogged over the typical stumbling blocks you often get with early work. Owens uses deceptively simple elements as a producer, and manages to range all over the place stylistically and structurally (even in terms of the genres she evokes; while this is pretty much all electronic, even dance music, at times she brings to mind the gentler end of shoegaze or twee pop or any number of other things) while still feeling like a coherent emotional and sonic statement. She’s no more sui generis than any artist, moments here strike sparks off the likes of anyone from the Field to Glasser or the namechecked-here Arthur Russell, but she always has her own distinct voice. For someone who’s just getting started, it’s an incredibly accomplished and captivating one.

Ian Mathers

Various Artists — Where the Mountains Meet the Sky: Folk Music Of Ladakh (Sublime Frequencies)

Where the Mountains Meet the Sky: Folk Music of Ladakh by [see album description]

You can’t head much farther north than Ladakh and still be in in India. In times past the Himalayan region was on the Silk Road trade route, but now it has been isolated by the closure of the border between India and China. Folk culture is languishing, and this LP fits into the lifelong effort of one man, Morup Namgyal, to document it before it passes. Five of the record’s tracks come from his collection, the rest from more recent recordings made to accompany a film about him called The Sound Collector. Where the Mountains Meet the Sky could fairly have been put out under Namgyal’s name, since he sings on eight out of nine vocal selections. But even though his throaty voice puts the songs across quite effectively, focusing on him misses the point; it’s the survival of the songs that matters, not the identity of the singer. The instrumental accompaniment (tablas, drums, flutes and a double reed instrument called a surna) is sparse, and hard to fix to a single tradition, with droning timbres and irregular beats that sound fairly Indian coexisting with melodies and rhythms that feel closer to Tuvan folk music.

Bill Meyer

Tiny Vipers — Laughter (Ba Da Bing)

After two albums of hauntingly spare and direct folk-adjacent music as Tiny Vipers, the last in 2009, Jesy Fortino took a break to get a civil engineering degree. Now she’s back, but in a form significantly altered enough to match the magnitude of the change in her life; where once Fortino’s voice and acoustic guitar were foregrounded, here there’s none of the latter and precious little of the former. Instead Laughter features synthesizers and tape hiss, arpeggios and loops. The result is just as captivating as those older Tiny Vipers records, but in an entirely new sense, where the songs are as dense as “The Summer of Moments” or as tentatively beautiful as “Crossing the River of Yourself”. “K.I.S.S.” indicates that Fortino can make these kinds of songs work with her lyrics and vocals just as well as with her old setup, so the real question this fascinating, exploratory effort leaves the listener with is whether she will wind up following its lead and integrating these sounds and structures with the strong lyrical viewpoint of past work, or if the more abstract and experimental likes of the 14-minute title track are a more accurate indicator of where she’s going.

Ian Mathers

ADULT. — Detroit House Guests (Mute)

ADULT.’s music summons nocturne sleeplessness, paranoia, and meditation. In Detroit House Guests, the hyperactive and anxious dance music of their last album, The Way Things Fall (2013), has given way to a more trance-like, hazy sway. Wide-awake restlessness and solitude permeate through its emphasis on repetition, reverb and echo. Yet despite the album’s circular and looping approach to melody, the album isn’t stuck in any one direction. The duo worked with a number of collaborators, who include Robert Aiki Aubrey Lowe (Lichens), Michael Gira (Swans), Lun_na Menoh, Douglas J McCarthy (Nitzer Ebb), Dorit Chrysler (NY Theremin Society), and Shannon Funchess (Light Asylum). Their added presence is felt, in a good way, through the album’s wider sound and scope. ADULT. feels less insular than it has in the past, and reminds us of the various textures the nighttime can hold. By not restricting itself to the headspace of the club, ADULT. experiments with a myriad of energies that span from jittery insomnia to fertile dreams, between dusk, twilight and pitch black skies. Favorite tracks: “P rts M ss ng”, “Uncomfortable Positions”, “As You Dream”.

Olivia Bradley-Skill

The Jerry Cans — Inuusiq (Aakuluk)

The Jerry Cans would appear to be a highly localized act. They come from Nunavut in northern Canada, sing mostly in the Inuit language Inuktitut, utilize local throat singing, and even started the first record label in their territory. Far from being a “welcome to global cultures” lesson, the band demonstrates how to skillfully build a world of sounds. The music on their latest album Inuusiq centers on traditional folk and roots-rock sounds, almost always maintaining a high level of energy (the album’s English title is Life, after all). Their Celtic influence comes through with both the fiddle and rollicking approach to performance. “Maikliqta” brings a personalized element of reggae, but it doesn’t sound out of place next to the hoedown of “Paniarjuk.” With touches of pop around the edges of its songs, the band just sounds full of gas and ready to go. The language might not always translate easily, but good roots is good roots.

Justin Cober-Lake

Bottle Tree — s/t (International Anthem)

Bottle Tree by Bottle Tree

Keeping up its reputation as a champion of local talent, International Anthem presents the self-titled debut album by the Windy City trio Bottle Tree, featuring Ben Lamar Gay, A.M. Frison and Italian transplant Tmmaso Moretti. As the 7” single “Open Secret” first attested, this isn’t quite the Ben Lamar Gay we sampled on the 2015 compilation Nine/Two at Constellation, nor the one in assistance on Jaimie Branch’s recent standout debut, also on International Anthem. For Bottle Tree’s spare and funky soul persona, he trades cornet for keys and compositional duties, keeping his presence largely behind the scenes or else in the middle ground, as a buffer of sorts between Frison’s fluid vocals and Moretti’s clattering, twitchy beats. Over the cassette’s 30 minutes, the trio gets significant mileage out of contrasted layers, deft structural pivots and sudden harmonic cadences. While fans of Frison’s Coultrain project will find lots to like on this nimble, grooving and mellow gem, Bottle Tree is the perfect opportunity for everyone else to get to know these three important and too far under-the-radar Chicagoans, too.

Eric McDowell

[projectalbum]

At my most beautiful. 194. “Up,” 195. “Reveal,” 196. “In Time: The Best of R.E.M. 1988-2003,” 197. “Around the Sun,” 198. “And I Feel Fine… The Best of the IRS Years 1982-1987,” 199. “R.E.M. Live" by R.E.M.

If New Adventures in Hi-Fi was part of the score to my college years (along with a sudden influx of Talking Heads, Nine Inch Nails, and Bob Dylan), my hesitant, unsure 20's were captured by Up.

Up (#194) was a bold recalibration of R.E.M. as a three-piece after the departure of Bill Berry. The compilation In Time (#196) had helpfully introduced me to the electronically-inflected chamber pop of “Daysleeper” and “At My Most Beautiful” (which only now, years later, do I recognize as a Beach Boys pastiche.) So as big of a stylistic departure as it is, with gentler melodies, burbling distortion, processed or programmed drums, and an air of the retro-futurism that had begun creeping into late 90’s aesthetics, I wasn't taken aback the way long-time fans were. The songs didn’t need to reassure me that the band was still A Thing after losing a founding member; by the time I got around to Up, it was simply another entry in the canon.

“Airportman” sounds like what it is: a transitional piece; a low key, glimpsed-through-a-keyhole preview of a new sound. The lyrics are murmured, the pre-programmed beat and keyboards nearly chintzy. The bass is a single note, repeated percussively, that provides the counterweight to the tinkling, echoey vibraphone; the only guitar presence is trembling feedback floating in the ether. I know it’s considered an odd choice for an opening gambit— it was even the first number they played publicly as a three-piece, to the collective head-scratching of an arena. But like “Packt Like Sardines in a Crushd Tin Box" or "All The Love In The World,” it's a song that isn’t necessarily representative of the album as a whole, but it's one that never fails to put me in the right headspace for the journey: ready for the unexpected. 

“Suspicion” is a track that I return to often. On my 70th or so listen, I recognize that the lyrics are about meeting someone and wanting to luxuriate in the fantasy. "Please don't talk, don't make me think / Order up another drink / Let me let imagination drive.” Don’t break the spell by bringing real life into this. Radiohead covered similar ground on “Jigsaw Falling Into Place,” but the sonic approach here is much mellower, almost a satire of spacey cocktail lounge music.

Bleating forth from the soft outro of “Suspicion” comes “Hope,” a dramatically out-of-the-box composition for this band: busy loops of synth, organ, piano, rattling guitar feedback, and stanzas with no chorus. As a weirdo hymn about "looking for deliverance” while trying to avoid the traps of recognizable religious dogma, it channels the itch for transcendence in me. “You look up to the heavens and you hope that it’s a spaceship” and "You’re looking like an idiot, and you no longer care,” two lines for the spooky seekers among us. Befitting a song about searching that offers no answers, the melody doesn’t resolve so much as boil over into cacophony and then cut itself short.

Up was largely overlooked on release, but it has gained a comfortable reputation over the years (the singles never really stuck, but “Walk Unafraid” is the classic track of the record). Which has opened up a spot for Reveal (#195) to step up as The Underrated R.E.M. Album. It’s a further journey into trippy, sunny pop, shot through with electronica. The titles of these records could easily be transposed: the angst and introspection of the tracks on Up suggest something the artists Reveal, whereas the modus operandi of “Summer Turns To High” and “All The Way To Reno (You’re Gonna Be A Star)” is to convince us that things are looking Up.

It could be easy to get the shakes from the taste of so much sugarcane (that’s a reference to “Imitation of Life,” y’see), but the band adds a dash of bitters with the stirring balladry of “She Just Wants To Be,” featuring Peter Buck’s most aching solo since the New Adventures days, and the cracked Americana of “Disappear,” which transforms the string arrangements that sweep through the lighter songs into scritching dissonance. The bubbly production can at times threaten to shave the edges off of solid songs like “Beat A Drum” and “I’ll Take The Rain.” For the first several years of owning this record, the 2nd half tended to melt into a candy-colored mass in my brain. Unplugged recordings unlocked the re-listenability, and the whole disc has become perfect for summertime spinning.

Around The Sun (#197), consensus pick for the weakest album in their catalogue, has some strong melodies and biting political sentiment hidden behind some anemic performances and shrug-worthy production. I’m probably fonder of it than most: I groove on “The Outsiders,” for instance, which gives some folks palpitations due to the mere presence of hip-hop in the mix— but Q-Tip’s guest verse is the high point, not a repeat of KRS One’s cornball contribution way back on Out of Time. Opener “Leaving New York” is a bittersweet ballad for Stipe’s adopted home, still overcast by recent tragedy and a lifetime of personal associations. While the band was never shy in the press about throwing a spotlight on political issues, the post-9/11, middle of the Iraq War atmosphere couldn’t help but flow into the lyrics to a larger degree than ever before.

“Final Straw” is an electro-bluegrass reaction to the feckless villainy of Bush and Cheney in the midst of a million little cuts to civil liberties: "As I raise my head to broadcast my objection / As your latest triumph draws the final straw  / Who died and lifted you up to perfection? / And what silenced me is written into law.” The righteous anger within the singer tussles with his empathy and belief in love’s ultimate victory against hate. “I Wanted To Be Wrong” follows, a look at the strange contradictions of America revealing themselves in the light of a conservative sea change. Stipe follows a verse about the milk and honey, bread basket bounty of America that he’s enjoyed in a largely privileged life, with the reflection: "Mythology's seductive and it turned a trick on me / That I have just begun to understand.” There’s a diseased streak of greed and inequality winding through it all, and it became impossible to turn your eyes from.

These tracks flourished a bit more on tour, out of the stifling studio environment that lead Peter Buck to describe the results as "a bunch of people that are so bored with the material that they can't stand it anymore.” There’s a heavy focus on the Sun songs throughout the band’s first live album, the straight-forwardly-titled R.E.M. Live (#199). Not a huge surprise, as it was recorded in Dublin during the tour supporting what would end up being their last studio release for four years. Everyone is in fine form on those maligned songs, but the exciting inclusions are performances like “I Took Your Name,” in a recording that made me take notice of that gloriously surreal kiss-off song I had ignored in the back half of Monster. That qualifies as the most obscure pick in a setlist that reliably digs up the hits and a few fan faves. My favorite moment might be the soulful intro to “Walk Unafraid,” just Michael Stipe’s voice over sustained church organ, before the rest of the band crashes in.

Where Warner Bros’s In Time compilation had served me as a helpful primer, And I Feel Fine… (#198), released 3 years into my assured R.E.M. fandom, was worth it for the remastered versions of I.R.S. Records tracks that only existed on 80’s-era CD’s. The rarities were a major draw for the 2-disc version, though it feels like a bit of a joke now, in the light of our current Everything Streams! age (just check out the literally hundreds of b-sides and alternate mixes and live recordings on Spotify or iTunes). But you get new liner notes, as any physical media fan will stump for, and there’s a personal curation hook to the deep cuts selected by all four original band members.

After recovering from the loss of Bill Berry’s contributions, and in the light of their first truly disappointing LP, R.E.M. took a look at their past to gain insight into a bold future. It wouldn't last long, but it would be on their terms.

[newstfionline]

The U.S. joined the ‘Great War’ 100 years ago. America and warfare were never the same.

By Michael E. Ruane, Washington Post, April 3, 2017

At night when things were quiet in the “jaw ward,” the wounded doughboys would take out their small trench mirrors and survey the damage to their faces.

Noses had been shot off in the fighting at Saint-Mihiel. Chins were destroyed in the Meuse-Argonne offensive. Mouths had been torn apart in the battle of Belleau Wood.

It was 1918, and Clara Lewandoske, a 25-year-old Army nurse from Wisconsin, was caring for these cases in a Red Cross hospital in Paris. “They were wonderful boys,” she recalled, and rarely complained.

But at night, if she saw one with a mirror, she would go to his bedside and start chatting. “Get them off of the subject,” she said. “Invariably, you’d get them to sleep.”

In time, they got used to their injuries. “We all did,” she said. “It was just one of those things.”

Lewandoske and her “boys” were among the millions of Americans who served in World War I--soldiers, sailors, nurses; white, black and Latino--who were caught up in the cataclysm, which the United States entered 100 years ago on April 6.

Among them was an Army sergeant from Iowa named Arnold Hoke, who would one day become Clara’s husband.

Tens of thousands from their generation would perish on the battlefield--25,000 in one six-week period alone--and many thousands more would die of disease.

Others came home physically or emotionally broken.

This month, the Library of Congress, the National Archives, the Smithsonian Institution, and the National World War I Museum and Memorial, in Kansas City, are marking the anniversary with exhibits, lectures and commemorations.

World War I started in Europe in the summer of 1914, and ended on Nov. 11, 1918. The United States entered the conflict after France, Russia and Britain had battled Germany and its allies for almost three years.

And American might was brought to bear against Germany only in the closing months of the conflict, but just in time to help reverse the enemy’s huge, last-gasp offensive and end the war.

The United States, although badly divided, had been provoked to join the war by the sinking of neutral American ships by German submarines, and by a secret German deal to offer Mexico the states of Texas, New Mexico and Arizona if it joined the German cause.

The offer, outlined in the “Zimmerman telegram,” was sent in code by German Foreign Secretary Arthur Zimmerman to the German ambassador in Mexico.

It was intercepted, hit the newspapers March 1, 1917, and created a national uproar.

Five weeks later, in a one-paragraph congressional resolution, the United States declared war.

In those days, it was called the “Great War,” or simply “the world war,” because no other like it was imaginable.

Along with staggering death tolls, it generated memorable literature, geopolitical upheaval, hope, disillusion, Hitler, the Russian Revolution, and the seeds of World War II.

For Americans, it provided, among other things, trench food called “corn willy,” the Selective Service System, the double-edged safety razor, and George M. Cohan’s anthem, “Over there.”

Send the word, send the word over there That the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming The drums rum-tumming everywhere.

But over there, the Yanks would find nightmare landscapes scarred by trenches and shell holes, and “mud that swallowed men, machines and horses without a trace,” wrote historian David M. Kennedy.

There were horrific weapons like the flamethrower, the machine gun, and phosgene gas, and the bullet-swept region between the lines known as no man’s land.

It was “industrialized death,” as the late art critic Robert Hughes put it.

When the U.S. entered the struggle in 1917, the conflict already had claimed 5 million lives.

But the Yanks were game.

So prepare, Cohan’s lyrics went, say a prayer, Send the word, send the word to beware We’ll be over, we’re coming over And we won’t come back till it’s over, over there.

Sgt. Arnold S. Hoke and his men had just hauled a supply of rations and ammunition overnight to their comrades at the front, and by the time they arrived the food was cold and congealed in grease.

In the dark and the rain, he and his detail had gotten lost, and they had not found his company until after dawn.

But the famished soldiers gathered in a patch of woods in the Argonne Forest, in northeastern France, to devour the food anyhow.

“The men lined up, and they started to dish out this food to them,” Hoke remembered. “The captain told me to--he knew I’d been up all night--and he told me to go over there in the basement of this farmhouse and get a little sleep.”

Hoke, 25, was a veteran who had served on the Mexican border in 1916.

He had been honorably discharged and had reenlisted after the United States entered the war.

A native of Spaulding, Iowa, he was assigned to recruit local Iowa men for what became Company M of the Army’s 168th Infantry Regiment.

By mid-1918, he and his men already had been through a lot, he recalled in a tape recording he made on April 12, 1971, that is now part of the Veterans History Project at the Library of Congress.

Often, the soldiers would talk about what they would do when they got home, “all kinds of silly things,” Hoke said. He planned to go to the local drugstore and have a thick pineapple malt as soon as he got back.

One doughboy, a man he had recruited from Atlantic, Iowa, said he figured he would be wounded, lose a leg, and meet his comrades at the train station. “I’ll get back home before you guys,” he told his buddies.

He’d have a hollow artificial leg, fill it with whiskey, and pass it around so all the boys could have a drink.

As Hoke rested in the farmhouse that day, German artillery had zeroed in on the trees where his comrades were eating.

“They threw a salvo of shells into this woods,” he said. “And they caught our men all lined up waiting for their chow.”

Fifteen to 20 men were killed, and about 30 were wounded, he remembered, including the man from Atlantic.

One of his legs had been practically blown off, Hoke recalled, and was just hanging by a few ligaments. He was conscious as he lay on the ground, and didn’t seem to be in a lot of pain.

“You guys thought I was kidding,” Hoke remembered him saying. “I’ll meet you at the depot with that wooden leg full of bourbon.”

Hoke said the soldier was taken to a battlefield dressing station, where the damaged leg was amputated. But the man died in an ambulance en route to the rear.

“I apologize for a rather unpleasant war story,” Hoke said on the recording. “Let me assure you there’s nothing pleasant about war, in any shape or manner, and I just hope that nobody will ever see another one.”

The day after he got home from France, he went to the drugstore and got his pineapple malt.

Nurse Clara Lewandoske recalled only one night when she fell apart during the war.

It was in Paris’s Lycée Pasteur, a high school that had been made into a 2,400-bed hospital, during a period of heavy fighting, when the wounded and sick soldiers would come pouring in from the front.

Some of the cases were horrific.

She once found a soldier who had wandered from his bed.

“It was a gorgeous moonlit night,” she recalled. “I came out in the hall. Here was this patient sitting in the doorway. He had taken his bandage off, and it looked like half of his head was gone. It was a horrible sight. It shook me more than anything else in the whole war.”

“We got him back to bed, and he died before morning,” she said.

Lewandoske had 36 patients in four wards to care for. At night, she and other nurses walked the corridors with lanterns shrouded with denim, to guard against air raids, she recalled.

They often worked on patients by candlelight.

One night it got to be too much.

“I was a pretty calm individual,” she said. She had been orphaned at 9 and raised by the family of a local minister. Back home, she had once assisted at a surgery done on a dining room table.

But during an awful night in the hospital, with soldiers crying out from all over, “I did cave in,” she said. “I got hysterical.… We just couldn’t get around to everything. We had hemorrhages … [and] a lot of sick boys.”

It was heartbreaking. “We were mother and sister and home to them,” she said.

On Nov. 11, 1918, the war ended with an armistice. She happened to be in downtown Paris when word came.

“All hell broke loose,” she recalled. “It was a terrific thing. You didn’t know whether you’d survive to or not.… It was just the wildest time.”

American nurses were hugged and serenaded, she said. “We saw our chief nurse … she was quite old, and they had her on a cannon, pulling her down through the main streets of Paris.”

Clara and Arnold came home from the war in 1919.

In September 1921, she was a delegate to the American Legion convention in Kansas City. Also in attendance was Arnold. They met and fell in love. They were married Nov. 22, 1922, lived through the Depression, and raised two children.

Arnold died July 30, 1971, four months after they recorded their memories. He was 78. Clara died June 27, 1984, at the age of 91. According to granddaughter Patricia Munson-Siter, they are buried side by side in the military section of Greenwood Memorial Park, in San Diego.