#might as well just walk up to roadman and ask to be shivved at that point
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Clearly I very much don't know my limits yet because the urgesTM are back
#i'll likely delete later#i say that and i'll prob forget again#tw suicide#tw self harm#mentioning for tags coz i'm ab to overshare my life again#idk why the suicidal/self-harming intrusive thoughts are back i usually have a better grasp on them#like i don't usually get those urges from something like it just being brought up#and i've not had any flashbacks or panic attacks or medical concerns (other than tics they've been more agressive lately) today#so i'm not really sure why it's come back again it's a bit silly tbh#it's not like i've even seen any weapons other than within their normal contexts like cooking etc#so idk why i'm having a weird thought to shoot myself#you can't even really buy a gun in england anyway so it's a bit stupid of a way to die lol#might as well just walk up to roadman and ask to be shivved at that point#god help me if my school's safeguarding account ever finds out this is me lol#i'd be in so much shit i'd literally be committed to a psych ward or just like permanent therapy#idk why my mutuals put up w me coz it's always like this huh?#ok i need to stop before i start spiralling again#that would not be good
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