#milli fanfiction

[boreussia-durmmund]

Sweater Weather Series- Part 1

A/N: I’m sorry this took me a while and idk if you like this or it fits so please give me some feedback becuase this turned out much fluffier than planned?

Epilogue

Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago

Julia groaned when she woke up. It was too bright around her so she immediately pulled her blanket over her face. Her head was hurting like a bitch, a big bitch. Apparently the last night was catching up to her with a hangover. For a second she considered just closing her eyes again and then she remembered what happened last night.

Within a second she was sitting up in her bed. Why on planet earth was she thinking this was the right moment to tell Milli about her feelings? Why did she drink so much alcohol when she knew this could happen? Why couldn't she just keep her damn mouth closed? Julia groaned but then she realised she had no idea what happened or how she got home. She put her money on Milli taking her home, like he always used to do. This probably was a good thing because it meant he still wanted her safe even after her confession.

Slowly she tried to think about it and find out what she still knew about last night. They had a party at Niklas' apartment, they were drinking a little too much, she was drinking way too much, then she went out on the balcony and somehow managed to pour her whole heart out to Milli half an hour later. She tried to figure out what happened after this but her head hurt too much.

Did they kiss? Did he freak out? Was it a good sign she was home in her bed or a bad one? Did she fuck this up forever or was he maybe drunk enough to forget all of this as well? He probably wasn't, Milli was maybe really wasted three or four times in his whole life and since he has become a footballer he never has drunken much. So this wouldn't solve her problem.

She sighed and closed her eyes for a second. It had happened, she couldn't turn back the time, couldn't make him forget this. There was only one solution for this problem, facing it. She had talk with him about it and see how it all turns out. Julia just hoped they would still be friends because she would hate herself for the rest of her life, if she ruined their friendship.

One thing was sure for now, she needed to take a shower, take a aspirin in the bathroom and drink lots of water to get rid of the headache. Maybe then she could find the courage to talk to him today, just maybe. The thought scared the hell out of her but she knew the sooner the better. That's why she took another deep breath, opened her eyes and wanted to get up.

No, this didn't happen!

No, she couldn't believe it...

No, just no.

Within a second she jumped out of bed and left her room where Milli was lying at least half naked in her bed.

Julia ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She wanted to scream and she couldn't breathe. Did that really happen? Was he maybe for real interested in her?

Could this be a thing? Or were they just young, drunk and dumb and fucked each other? Did that might not mean anything to him? Would he regret it? Julia couldn't even tell which possible answer was scaring her more.

Maybe getting a chance with him or just being a one night stand.

But she was sure of one thing, there friendship would be awkward after it either way.

A few minutes ago she thought just facing reality would be the best idea but by now she wanted to hide in this bathroom forever. She never wanted to get out.

Fear and panic were building up in her.

It would make her throw up.

Her stomach sometimes was uneasy. She remembered throwing up before prom because she was too nervous. Milli held her hair that night. It has always been Milli, he always was there, they knew each other by heart and by every breath.

She was so mad with herself. Her hands were trembling and she wanted to punch something or someone, herself maybe, it was her fault after all.

For a few minutes she just stood there and tried to calm herself.

Julia ran her fingers through her hair.

She felt like throwing up so although she didn't want to do this she made herself search for some aspirin in the drawers. With trembling hands took the medication and drank a sip of water out of the tap. The water felt so good helping with her dry mouth she took another sip and another, one after each other, slowly feeling better with each sip.

After a minute she turned off the water and took a look in the mirror. First of all she noticed she was still wearing her shirt from last night and her panties. Her bra was gone and now she wasn't sure what had happened. They could have had sex or she could have just put away the bra on her own. She hated sleeping in a bra. But something inside of her, something very small just hoped he undressed her and for now she held on to that hope.

Fortunately she never wore much make-up not even to party so only a bit of her lipstick and eyeshadow was left smudged in her face. Nevertheless she looked awful and her hair was a mess. If Milli might be interested in her, she couldn't face him like this. Therefore she decided she really should take a shower anyway.

It was dumb.

Milli had seen her throwing up in the bathroom at four in the morning, he had seen her in hospital after she had an operation because of an acute appendicitis, he had held her when she was crying for hours when her brother was in a car crash, he had held her close to make it all better, to let her know she was never alone in this. He had seen her in her worst moments and he never minded.

So why should he now?

Julia prepared herself to meet Milli after coming out of the bathroom but she still wasn't very eager to get out of the bathroom. Therefore she slowly started to shower, shaved and washed her hair, put lotion on her body and then searched for clothes.  She was thankful she always kept her pj in her bathroom and could put it on now.

It wasn't really hot but a look in the mirror told her she looked cute with her hair still wet falling down her shoulders. She took another deep breath.

It was no or never. She knew this. She had to face him, face whatever was happening this morning.

You can do this, Julia told herself and for a moment she believed it. It gave her the courage to open the bathroom door and go back into her bedroom. She looked for Milli but he was no longer in her bed. He must have woken up, maybe she woke him up. She wasn't very quiet in the bathroom.

Julia just hoped he didn't go, she didn't want him to be away. She wanted him to be around her.

Another deep breath and she headed over to the kitchen. It was the only room left in her apartment so if he wasn't there, he must have gone.

He was standing there, in his shorts, his back and his legs exposed, preparing breakfast. She could watch him the whole day, follow his muscles with her eyes from is neck down, just seeing how beautiful he looked when he didn't give a damn.

“Good morning, Juli. You finally finished in the bathroom?” he asked absent-mindedly like it was any other morning, like this was normal.

Julia had to blink twice. This was a situation she didn't mentally prepare for.

“Morning Milli. Yes, I needed this too feel like a human again.” she just replied.

“God, I believe you. You were completely wasted. That's why I stayed. I didn't want to leave you alone tonight and I was too tired to walk home, if I am honest.” He gave her a heart warming smile and cupped her cheek before getting the toast out of toaster. This was exactly what she wanted, what she had missed during the last years. This was her Milli as happy as he was when he was little.

She smiled back at him but felt tears coming up in her.

“I thought I make us toast and you should drink a lot. I bet you have a huge hangover after how much you had last night. It was a pain in the ass to get you home. You didn't want to come with me. I mean it's just a few hundred meters but it took us over an hour and I had to carry you upstairs, not that I mind.” he was babbling, talking fast but it was cute.

He was everything she wanted right now.

“Sit down.” he asked her and then took a closer look at her “Are you crying, Juli?”

He seemed concerned and moved a little closer to her.

She tried to find the right words but it was hard so she just said what was on her mind.

“Well, I don't remember anything after me confessing my feelings for you and now you are here in the way I love you the most and I'm afraid I fucked this up and never get this again or I am afraid I can get this forever but will fuck it up anyway. I just want to know what you think about this.”

This was weakness, she was weak, she knew it but she couldn't help herself. She just had to know as soon as possible.

Milli smiled at her softly and cupped her cheeks to wipe away the tears.

“Here's what I can say. I missed this as well and I told you last night that you are my best friend and I love you. It would be my pleasure to be your boyfriend... but here is what I said last night as well the world isn't easy and always treating us right. I don't know if this can work out, Julia, but I would love to try it.”

@be-your-own-anchorx @buerking38 @carlaimberlain @juicebooxx