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mozambique-and-a-dream · 4 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Apex Legends (Video Games) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mirage | Elliott Witt/Pathfinder

Pathfinder wants to learn how to date. Who better to ask to teach him than his best friend?

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"What is a date like, friend?" Pathfinder asked. He was sitting beside his best friend, Elliott 'Mirage' Witt. The two had been watching one of Elliott's favourite shows in silence. At least, until now.

"What now?" Elliott replied, only half listening as he continued to watch T.V.

"Well, I've never been on a date before. The people on T.V seem to enjoy them," he said, motioning to the show on the screen. "And all my friends talk about dates."

"Oh, well, uh," Mirage thought for a second, still not taking his eyes off the screen. "Okay, so, a date is like when friends hang out, only instead of friends, it's romantic, not platonic. Like two people who are in love. They're, uh, fun, I guess." At this, Pathfinder's screen displayed a question mark as he thought about what his friend had just said.

"Can robots go on dates?" he blurted out. Mirage sighed and picked up the remote to turn the T.V off. It appeared this conversation was going to keep going.

"Well, I mean, it's clear that you got platonic love figured out. Do you have the ability to feel romantic love?"

"I think so!"

"Then, I don't see why you wouldn't be able to date, buddy."

"Exciting!" Pathfinder's screen flicked back to a happy face, and Mirage unpaused the show and picked up the drink from beside him. "Do you want to go on a date with me?"

"Wha-?" Mirage snorted, causing his drink to fly out through his nose, sending the man into a coughing fit.

"Are you okay, friend?" Pathfinder exclaimed, jumping up off of the couch. Mirage held a hand out before the robot got any ideas to give him the Heimlich or something.

"I-I'm good," he coughed. "W-what did you say?"

"I asked if you wanted to go on a date with me!"

"Uh, y-yeah, I got that… but w-why?"

"Well, if I am going to start going on dates with people, I am going to need to know what to do! And you always talk about all the people you date so-"

"You want to go on a practice date?" Elliott interrupted. Pathfinder nodded, and Elliott couldn't help but sigh in relief; there had been a weird feeling in his chest when Path first suggested a date that faded at the thought of the date being fake. "Okay, yeah, sure, Path. We can go on a practice date, I guess."

"Great! I will go get ready!"

"Wait, you want to do it now-"

"I'll come pick you up at six!" And with that, Pathfinder trotted out the door. Mirage simply slunk down on the couch.

"What did I just agree to?" he muttered. The clock said it was already five o'clock. Pathfinder was planning a whole date in an hour? "I suppose I could eat," Mirage said as he pushed himself up off the couch. "Now, what do I wear?"

An hour later, Mirage found himself dressed to the nines. As he was getting ready, he had realized that he hadn't even been on a real date in quite some time. He deserved to get dressed up! Even for, whatever, this date was. If anything, he had to teach Pathfinder what to look for in a good partner. He didn't want the robot to get his heart broken. Path deserved someone who cares enough about him to look good for dinner. That was why he spent half an hour on his hair. Obviously. Unless...

"Nope. Not thinking that today," he muttered himself just as there was a knock on the door. "God, this is going to be weird." Elliott swung the door open.

"Hi, friend!" Pathfinder chirped. He was wearing the red bowtie that Elliott recognized to be from when they had let Path run that fancy event in the arena. And in his hands… "These are for you!" Pathfinder shoved the bouquet of flowers into Mirage's hands. "You look very pretty, friend!"

"Uh," Elliott could feel his face getting warm. "Y-yeah. You too, buddy." Mirage set the flowers down on his table. "So, uh, where are we going?"

"I got us a reservation at Solace Sunrise!" Mirage's eyes went wide.

"That place is so booked you have to place a reservation months in advance! How did you manage that?"

"I used to work there as a chef! They said they will always have a table for me. And they did!"

"Oh. Cool," Elliott nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets as they walked, trying to tone down his excitement. "Suddenly, I feel underdressed."

"Technically, you are more dressed than me! I'm not even wearing pants!" the robot exclaimed, causing the other to laugh as they neared the restaurant.

"But, uh, Pathy, this place is bound to be busy, and, uh," Mirage scratched the top of his head as he looked at the restaurant. "It probably isn't a good idea if the public were to find out we were on a date, or uh, pretend date…"

"Oh! Don't worry, Friend!" Pathfinder exclaimed, holding the door open for him. "I made sure we would be the only ones here!"

"You what-" Elliott cut himself off upon seeing the inside of the restaurant. The main dining room, which was usually full of big fancy tables, was empty, minus one table left in the room's middle. The lighting was dim, the place lit up by candles. The floor was decorated with rose petals scattered around. On the table sat another bouquet of roses and a bottle of champagne. "Oh, Path…" he whispered, once again feeling his face heat up, only this time there was an additional feeling in his stomach.

"Do you like it?" Pathfinder interrupted Elliott's thoughts of what stomach bug he could have.

"It's beautiful," Mirage said, his mouth still hanging open at the sight. He had no idea how the robot managed to set all of this up in an hour. He also couldn't think of the last time anyone had done something this romantic for him, it was-

"You think the people date for real will like it?" Pathfinder asked as he pulled out a chair at the table for the other, smiley face every time it appeared on his screen.

"Oh," Mirage frowned. "Y-yeah, Path. Very, erm, romantic."

"Are you okay, friend? You appear to be sweating!" Mirage rubbed the back of his neck. Sure enough, feeling the line of sweat that was forming. He was nervous. Why was he nervous? "Friend?" the robot asked again.

"Wha-? Oh, yeah. Just a little hot from the walk. So, what are you getting?" he quickly changed the topic, looking down at the menu.

"I'm not getting anything! I can't eat! What are you going to get?"

"Right. Okay, well, I hear the steak is good, so I guess I'll try that." Pathfinder gave him a thumbs up and called over the waiter so he could order. After the waiter left, silence fell over the table. Mirage found himself fiddling with one of the cloth napkins that had been set on the table. "So now what happens? Are you supposed to talk on dates?" Pathfinder asked. Mirage almost laughed.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "I mean, first dates are generally when you want to get to know the person you are seeing, so you should ask them about who they are, and you can go from there."

"Cool!" Pathfinder paused and thought for a second. "What is your favourite aquatic creature? Is that a good question?" For a brief moment, the smiley face on Pathfinder's screen had a bead of sweat on the side. Was he nervous?

"It's a great question! I, uh," Elliott thought for a second. "I think seahorses are pretty neat."

"Did you know that it is the male seahorses that get pregnant?"

"I… huh?" Mirage started. Thankfully, the waiter came back at just the right second with his food. Elliott quickly took a giant bite out of the garlic mashed potatoes before Pathfinder could ask any more questions. As he ate, Pathfinder remained seated, hands folded on the table in front of him, just watching. Maybe Elliott should have kept the robot talking. "So, uh, Path," he started, mouth still full. "Why, uh, why would you take a date here when you can't even eat?"

"I wanted you to have a good time!" Pathfinder exclaimed. "Before I decided what to do tonight, I did lots of research on what people like to do for dates, and eating food was always recommended!"

"Okay, but you know you should be having fun on dates as well, right?"

"I'm having loads of fun!" Mirage raised his eyebrows,

"Just watching?"

"Yes! I knew that you have always wanted to go to this restaurant, and seeing you enjoying yourself is very fun! And, you've also told me that you've always wanted to feel special, so I figured you would feel extra special being the only one here!" Elliott felt his cheeks go red again. He quickly looked down at his food.

"Oh, I don't know about being special, Path."

"Of course you are special, Elliott! You're funny, handsome, charming, smart, brave, thoughtful, sweet, and awesome! That makes you very special! That's why this is the best practice date I could go on!" At those words, whatever feeling had been building up in Elliott's chest suddenly dropped to his stomach. He quickly pushed his chair out and stood up, fighting back the tears he could feel forming behind his eyes.

"I can't do this," he quickly said to Path before pushing his way out of the door, leaving the robot alone at the table. Elliott ran a hand through his hair. What was he thinking? He just embarrassed himself on a practice date! Of course, it was a practice date. He never should have made a big deal about it, dressing up and all. No human even wanted to take him on a date, so why did he expect Pathfinder to?

"Stupid practice date, stupid robot," he muttered under his breath. He took the elevator to the floor of his apartment. He wanted nothing more than to just crawl into his bed and hope Pathfinder somehow lost all memory of this night ever happening. God, he really had to run away from a fake date, didn't he?! Mirage banged a fist on his head, "Stupid, stupid, idiot!"

"Hi, friend!" a voice exclaimed as the elevator doors opened. "Who is a stupid idiot?"

"I am, Pathfinder," Mirage mumbled, pushing past the robot once again to unlock his door, not bothering to question how Path had beat him home.

"Are you okay, friend?"

"I'm fine. Goodnight." He attempted to close the door, but Pathfinder simply put a hand on it to stop him.

"But, friend-"

"Stop calling me that!" When he saw the exclamation point on Pathfinder's screen, he realized he had been yelling. Elliott looked down at the ground. "I-I'm sorry." He ran a hand across his face with a sigh. "I just, I thought…" he trailed off.

"Was it something I did?" Pathfinder asked, sad face appearing.

"No! Well, yes, but no, I just was having a good time, and all and I guess…" he sighed again. "I guess I forgot the date was supposed to be fake," he finally admitted. "God, that sounds so stupid, I'm sorry-"

"You wanted tonight to be a real date?" Pathfinder interrupted. "Why didn't you say that?"

"I mean, you kept calling it a practice date, so I just assumed that you didn't want to be on a real date with me. Which is fine! It's okay that you don't want to date me! I get it and-"

"Of course I want to date you!" Pathfinder said, cheery as ever.

"I know not many would want to date - wait, what?" Elliott cut himself off upon hearing the other's words.

"I read that the person you date should also be your best friend! That's you!" The nervous face flickered back onto Pathfinder's screen. "I was going to ask you for a real date, but when I asked Revenant what to do, he said you wouldn't want to!"

"R-really?" Mirage stuttered, feeling the sweat beginning to form again in his palms. He quickly wiped his hands on his pants.

"Really!"

"Oh…" Silence fell over the two, neither of them really sure what to say next. "So," Mirage finally spoke up. "D-did you plan tonight as if you were really taking me out?" Pathfinder nodded, and once again, Mirage felt himself blushing. "Wow…"

"If you wanted, we could say that tonight was a real date!" Pathfinder exclaimed, causing the other to chuckle slightly.

"But then I would've run out on our first date, and that wouldn't make me look so good… Tell you what Path, what if we still call tonight a practice date and then, if you wanted, tomorrow I can take you on a real date?" This statement brought a happy face back onto Pathfinder's chest.

"I would love that!" Elliott grinned upon hearing these words. "I guess I will see you tomorrow then!" Pathfinder turned to walk away but was stopped when Elliott put a hand on his shoulder.

"Wait… there's one more thing I forgot to teach you about dates!" he said. Pathfinder displayed a question mark that quickly turned into hearts as Mirage stood up on his tippy toes so he could give Path a soft kiss on the top of his head. "There."

Pathfinder remained silent for a second, his screen unchanging. For a brief moment, Mirage couldn't help but wonder if he had broken the robot.

"I like dates!" Pathfinder finally exclaimed. Elliott laughed again. "I can't wait to do this again tomorrow!"

"Me too, Path. I'll see you then."

"Good night, boyfriend!"

"Good night…" Elliott paused. "Boyfriend," he finally finished. "And tomorrow, you are going to tell me about how it went asking Revenant for dating advice!"

#apex legends #apex mirage #apex pathfinder #miragefinder #apex fic

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