#mmmmmmmmmmm i should have known

[cyborgdragongirl]

Azar heaved a heavy sigh and eased back on the propulsion for the Mantis’ thrusters, while extending the legs to land the Angel.

It obeyed, though grudgingly. They both had had a long day, and it didn’t want to fly, but it’s legs had been damaged in the fighting today.

This realm was full of Aether, but it was also full of angry wildlife. Not the fun kind either, the kind that lurked and waited till you weren’t looking and dashed in for a swipe here and a bite there, trying to weaken them. The Aether healed them, yes, but it was a slow process and required concentration, which would leave them open to their hunters.

Mantis was an exquisite Angel, one of the finest, in Azar’s opinion. Though they would say that, seeing as Mantis has been custom grown to be a perfect fit for them. Mantis herself was on the smaller side, as far angels went, only about 25 feet tall at her tallest, and lightly armored, but she was capable of extended flight and was incredibly agile. She also boasted an extensive custom arsenal, all grown by Azar themself. Her upper arms bear a rail gun with a wrist machine gun, and her lower arms wield a shield and spear. Her abdomen was loaded with laser guided missiles and the underside has thrusters, that paired with the leg thrusters enabled her to sustain flight for minutes at a time.

Mantis touched down in a wide clearing, giving them both a much needed reprieve from the confines of the jungle, and the predators it was filled with. They’d been dealing with some kind of large cat-thing. They’d killed several, and they were similar to tigers, except nearly 9 feet tall at the shoulder, and their bones extended outside their body, giving them a rough armor that proved very effective at deflecting spear thrusts. They’d finally managed to lose the last of the pack after the alpha had made itself known. Mantis had fought well against it, her rail guns proving once again to be incredibly useful, if somewhat difficult to use.

Unfortunately the latest trainee had been downed and torn apart by the Bone-Tigers. At least this world had enough Aether they’d regenerate rather quickly, but Mantis was in bad enough shape they couldn’t afford to wait the days to weeks it would take. They’d just have to find somewhere to make a world bridge near wherever they ended up.

Speaking of. “Hey Mantis, do you see anywhere around here we can open a bridge?” Azar asked her from inside her torso.

She chittered a quick response back Scanning area for world bridge seams. You really should have marked that one we found earlier. We could have managed.

Azar chuckled and rubbed her console in that spot she liked. “I’m sure we could have. But those bone tigers gave us enough hassle, and took out the kid. Besides you’re not looking so hot big girl. Your legs are torn to shreds practically. Ah see, look there’s one, a couple kilometers that way. We’re practically there already. Do you wanna fly there or take some time to patch your legs up while we’ve got all this Aether?”

We shall attempt to restore me to capacity, few realms are this rich. Please plant a few sensor beacons while I regenerate. Just in case the tigers decide to try their luck again >:3 I STILL HUNGER

Azar chuckled as they exited her torso onto her palm and she lowered them onto the ground. They grabbed a few sensor rods from a pocket on their hip and started going around the corners of the clearing planting them in the ground to listen for vibrations.

“You’re always hungry! I swear, didn’t you already eat today?”

Only a few cows from that realm with the shiny people before we came here. Oh and a Bone-tiger. But they are hard to eat. Picking around all the pointy bits is tedious .

Azar put a hand to their face as they started walking back. “We want them to like us, stop eating their cows. Somebody is going to notice at some point. Come on Mantis, you know better.”

Mmmmmmmmmmm. I only eat Mn’thuz’s cattle. I do not care for them.

Azar sighed again. It’s difficult to argue with her sometimes. “Mn’thuz is kind of an ass yes. But you can’t eat their cattle. They made up with the village remember?” Azar knelt beside her left, more injured leg and began helping with the healing process, channeling the Aether of this world to knit the steel and bone back together.

With village yes. With you no. They killed you thrice. I have not eaten Mn’thuz. This is good yeeesssss??

She cocked her head at him questioningly, her mandibles chittering rapidly with excitement and amusement

“I suppose I’m proud of you for not eating them. Though you know that’s the minimum. Next time we swing by the metalwalker realm you’re going to apologize to them and figure something out to pay them for those cattle. Dragons above what do cattle that shit gold cost?”

Mantis shrugged all 4 of her shoulders in unison.

You are seraphim. What is money to an Angel and her Seraphim?

A quick beeping from a beacon pulled both of their attention from tending to her. Though her left leg was nearly repaired now.

“Start scanning. See if you can get an eye on whatever the sensor is picking up. Roll over, lemme try and repair some of your other leg before it gets here” Azar said after a quick glance.

Mantis rolled her eyes and shifted so he could reach her right lug while she weaved and shifted her head, her eyes shifting colors as they checked different spectrums.

The purple glow from Azar’s palms as they ran their hands over Mantis’ wounds glowed brilliantly, and the steel-flesh knit itself back together, healing her nearly instantly.

It is not the tigers. I think it may be worse however. Picking up a Bone-Rhino on approach

“Oh a Bone-Rhino, are we just prefixing bone to earth creatures now for this realm?”

It seems apropos. This realm seems adjacent to primal earth, though much more interesting.

“You only say that cuz you get to eat these ones”

That is not my only reason. I do not like the idea of snakes bigger than me.

“We’ve been here less than a week, you don’t know there aren’t snakes here.” Azar chuckled to themself as they moved to another tear in her flesh.

I think you should board we do not have much time before the rhino will be on top of us. And not in the fun way

“I regret reaching you euphemisms” Azar leapt onto her palm as she reached down to grab him

Azar entered her torso and she closed around him and they melded together again, joined in harmony with synchronous Aether-forms. A marvel of science and magic, made possible by building Mantis based off of Azar’s own genetic template. She was slightly modified to be compatible with the Angel system, and thus is the bond of Angel and Seraphim.

Azar/Mantis looked to the forest as she gained her footing, and ran through a quick systems check

Rail gun #1: ONLINE

Rail gun #2: ONLINE

Wrist MG #1: ONLINE

Wrist MG #2: ONLINE

Wrist MG #3: ONLINE

Wrist MG #4: ONLINE

Spear: INTACT

Shield: DAMAGED

Abdomen Missile Launcher: ONLINE

Abdomen Thrusters: ONLINE

Head: UNTOUCHED

Left leg: UNTOUCHED

Left leg Thrusters: ONLINE

Right leg: INTACT

Right leg Thrusters: ONLINE

Just as the Bone-Rhino burst into the clearing Mantis lunged forward with her spear, it glanced off the bones growth on the creatures face and skated to left, grazing its shoulder

The rhino grunted and tossed its head, throwing its three large horns dangerously close to Mantis’ torso, though she had already engaged her thrusters, maneuvering herself behind the rhino. Her railguns whined with the charge building as the rhino turned around for another charge.

Mantis fired both railguns, an explosive crack split the air in front of her as twin sonic booms erupted from the barrel of the railguns. The trees around them shook, and several branches shed their leaves. A cloud of dust rose before her, obstructing the visible spectrum. In infrared they saw the rhino’s head explode, the twin bolts carving trails of destruction through the rhino, and it collapsed, lifeless.

Excellent shot Mantis. This one’s a lot less boney it looks like. If you’re still hungry and wanna hang around a bit longer. Azar said to her.

No. I do not wish to attract another predator. They seem to hunt in packs in this realm. We do not do well when engaging large groups with limited visibility. Also I wish to continue to believe there are no snakes on this realm

Azar conveyed his amusement to her via their link. We haven’t even seen any snakeskin. I’m sure this realm is fine.

Mmmmmmmmmm. We shall move on nonetheless. I do not like how eager you seem to find a snake here -.- we will not be visiting the lamia realm again will we? I know that Fate/Time favors them too but… things without feet are weird.

Mantis grumbled back as she flew towards the bridge seam she’d detected

You’re a 25 foot tall human/Angel hybrid that is literally immortal and you’re freaked out by snakes. It’s never not a little bit funny

If only I did not require you to make bridges she chittered idly, then I would truly be the most perfect creation in The Everything

You need me more as a conscience than anything ya big goober.

We established that human morality is a construct that only limits my potential

Potential murder and arson you mean?

It was implied yes. Make the bridge now, we have arrived.

Azar focused on the seam, and imagined a door that was welded shut, and they channeled the local Aether towards unwelding the door. They didn’t really need to visualize it anymore, but it made the process simpler, harder to get distracted.

[onlyplatonicirl]

DTIYS CHALLENGE!!! THANK YOU FOR (almost) 1k FOLLOWERS!!!! SUPER EPIC IM IMPATIENT AND IM DOING THIS RIGHT NOW HELLO I DONT WANNA WAIT ANOTHER WEEK TO PUBLISH THIS Deadline is November 20th, submit but tagging me in the post and also hashtagging #lorels1kdtiys 😋😋 So I got a lot of suggestions for my sona, so I just drew myself :D Also I went a little overboard with the shadows and glowy effects you don’t have to go that extreme G HH JGKGJGJG Like 5 people suggested I do something with me and Synni but I decided against that Bc I really felt like I should do something that highlights me and my individual achievements, because more often than not I’m only known as “Synthia’s friend” and it’s just like mmmmmmm I’m my own person mmmmmmmmmmm A few more notes: - if you want to draw my FURsona instead of my PERsona that’s fine too. She’s a Dutch angel dragon, so she’s got paws, wings, and a long tail. You can look one up for reference, and just come up with what you think the rest of the body looks like based on the headshot. Get creative! - I’ll be judging on which picture I like the most, but everything that is submitted will send me through the MOON. Even if you don’t think you’ll win I still encourage you to participate if you want to! The main goal is just giving you all something fun and enjoyable to do :D At the end I will be tagging and showcasing ALL ENTRIES DM ME WITH ANY QUESTIONS!!! (Please don’t be scared to DM me I’m rlly nice and I don’t actually get a lot of DMs so it’s not like you’ll bother me or anything ghgngng 👉👈) https://www.instagram.com/p/CHHgsLQg3V9/?igshid=1421takbjw7h1

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 8? IS IT 8 ALREAD- YEAH IT IS.

oh god its been 8 weeks already i dont like that these chapters reveal how much time im WASTING but c’est la vie as always lets put these assholes on blast:

moving SWIFTLY on!!!!!!!!!!!!

(also what do you mean ‘it’s the meat chapter’. wh. what meat. hello.)

She slumped back against uncomfortably warm stone, trying to tuck her feet back into the shade.

it’s a known fact that glynda is all Long all Angles and also a lot of Beef,

this is? the date, right? the date chapter? yes? all the chapters have been shuffled around i have NO sense of where i am because all thats happened for 7 chapters is ive been assaulted by lesbians but given the distant chanting of meat meat meat this must be the date.... right.........................................

OH THAT MEANS WE GET TO SEE CINDER’S DRESS NICE

Cinder’s smile flashed through Glynda’s mind, and she shifted against the stone wall, reaching for her Scroll.

my favourite thing is how whenever cinder and glynda think of each other its never not got crazy gay energy............. this is LITERALLY like the whole ‘i sleep next to a photo of my enemy’ deal!!!!!!!!!!! they’re both just attracted to dangerous (and also stupid) people, is the thing,

The Grimm swarmed, biting insects with snapping mandibles, their chitinous exoskeletons all scraping against one another with their constant, eager writhings.

YES thats some GOOD IMAGERY RIGHT THERE IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF UH-HUH

honestly i- OKAY LOOK I SAID IT BEFORE BUT I STAND BY HOW OFFAL HUNT IS SO VISCERAL... i love writing thats like............ kinda Uncomfy to imagine but also rly detailed and just rly digs into the gore and the grossness............ its GOOD CONTENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank god offal hunt just whaps u in the face w/ it like a damp sock,

we’re got a bit of slow start here which is a nice way to  slice the difference between earlier ‘gotta go fast’ glyn and this ‘actually i’m way out of my depth’ glyn. wow! i can BREATHE. and we havent had anything massively cheeky pop up yet which may be a new record all round

The ripples of its being reached Glynda with ease, consuming those of the smaller Grimm. It was dangerous. More dangerous by far, even out here among these ancient beasts.

mmmmmmmmmmm this is- okay slight spoilers but i presume this is hati? aka he who had like a handful of lines in the first version and was generally just... look hati was winner of The Most Vague award in the first version so i’m hoping its hati because i am CURIOUS ABT THIS BOY.................. who i coincidentally love. who is he? we’re not sure (yet) but i love him. its just a fact!

It wasn’t just consumption. It was desecration. Vile unmaking. The Grimm stripped away her flesh. Tasted of her marrow. Gorged itself on the gristle between her bones and peeled back her ribs to reveal the chasm within. It sucked the soul from her chest in a wash of red and agony that spanned centuries, each running over the raw meat of her like long, black claws—

I JUST LOVE THE WAY THIS SHIT GETS DESCRIBED ITS SO SATISFYING also i feel like there should be a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny fingerguns in here t e c h n i c a l l y but im not gonna cause its vague enough i can kiiiiiiiiiiiiiinda move on kinda slightly maybe

It felt like death itself had caught her in its massive maw, chilling her organs, reaching for the soul at the core of her.

OKAY FINE 👈😡👈

OKAY FINE YEAH THE REST OF THIS IS ALL CHEEKY FINGERGUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that said this is all RLY VITAL STORYTELLING and im rly glad we’ve got some expanded Glynda Lore because it was Lacking in the archived version... but now we’re full on until glynda backstory babey!!!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fear itself couldn’t touch her, and even as she thought this, she felt it drain away.

Her breathing slowed. Her body relaxed. Information trickled in, unburdened by emotion.

👈👈👈😡👈👈👈

glynda rly DOES only have half a braincell Huh

OKAY DATE TIME? DATE TIME? YES? MAYBE?????????????? god ive been looking forward to this stupid gay date for so long. EIGHT WEEKS. EIGHT.

A pause. “Are you familiar with the Hill of Roses Massacre?”

ah the return of the Plot (that Isnt The Gay Bit)

i was gonna Say A Thing, and then answered my own question, and then realised it’d be spoilers anyway. YAY SPOILERS! YAY NOT BEING ABLE 2 SAY ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah theres a lot going on here dsdjhgf

“Well, it was your class, so.” She couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

/ticks off ‘anything to do w/ ozpin’ off the bingo card, again,

“I’m afraid it’s a bit more complicated than that, Glynda. With this meeting on the horizon… I fear I would cloud your judgement.”

oz i love u and yr cryptic bullshit but this will not the first Nor The Last Time glynda and i are both exasperated w/ u. please. blease.

Ozpin had never misled her before.

👈😂👈

“I’m only following orders.” Written with the same implication as a wink. “Now, is there anything else I can help you with, Professor?”

i fucking adore winter schnee i’d DIE for her

i may have to make a spoiler version of this later because theres Some Shit being said here and i DIRELY have to expand upon it but that will have 2 wait dskfjsdf

When they saw she was human, they waved her through without any trouble.

i still feel like im being targeted for my url!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U ASSHOLES,

As much as she could, Glynda tried to avoid the constant bump of shoulders and too-tight quarters. As large as she was, it was nearly impossible,

what did i say!!!!!!!!!!!!! we LOVE one beefy bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(im literally getting SO excited for the date reveal im VIBRATING)

She still didn’t have much of an idea what waited within, but she had quite a few reservations about using the front door.

me: knows whats coming also me: glynda please

As a Huntress who’d been trained in both subtlety and stealth, Glynda had a few ideas.

The next person who stepped outside was thrown roughly aside,

ME: GLYNDA PLEASE,

you have no idea how often im just. i have my face in my hands. glynda’s never heard of a repercussion in her life. cinder once saw the word ‘consequences’ and broke out into hives. im. where’s the thinking-

And then she noticed Cinder.

here comes the peak gay im so ready HERE IT COMES-

Her hair was tossed over one shoulder as always, but in place of her usual crimson dress, she wore black tonight. Dark fabric with but a hint of iridescent specks rippled around her ankles, rising up to stretch tight across her hips. It rose all the way to the hollow of her throat and was cut to be sleeveless, though Cinder wore gloves of the same material that rose nearly to her shoulders.

HERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god u may know i drew a shitpost of this scene and now i Have to redraw it to be even Sexier!!!!!!!!!! also i know glynda could argue she’s being Observant but i also think, she’s a home of saxophone, and is gay,

LIKE ‘stretch tight across her hips’ WHY YA L O O K I N

Glass heels clicked over the dark stone floor as Cinder stopped right in front of Glynda, looking up at her from beneath lofty bangs. Gold eyes swept from the crown of Glynda’s head to the crop gripped so tightly in her hand—and then Cinder smiled.

there is No heterosexual explanation for this

Cinder clicked her tongue. “Well, now that you’re here, shall we?”

“Shall we…?”

“Glynda,” she chided, rolling her eyes. “Dinner, of course.”

IM LOSING MY MIND AAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY’RE LESBIANS HAROLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAROLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay. okay. this still isnt QUITE THE DATE CHAPTER BUT WE’RE RLY IN IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so scared that a whole chap has been saved for this meal because its going to be so long and charged w/ lesbian energy and its gonna kill me BUT OH WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway i loved it. the end.

[esseastri]

Megan Reads Oathbringer (part 10)

Hi, fronds.

I meant to keep going, I really did, but then That Thing happened and I was really upset and also a LOT of real life things happened, most good, but all busy, so. Bear with me. We’ll get through this monster eventually.

Part 10 encompasses pages 753-828 (previous parts)

I’m still super upset about the Rift, y’all. Like. Ultimate #yikes.

ANYWAY, MOVING ON

“That would give privacy to talk” Okay, but you are still in a public space with a bunch of other people, you maaayybe shouldn’t be, like...just using the king’s name casually like you’re besties?

Since this is supposed to be a stealth mission, isn’t it?

OKAY BUT ADOLIN JUST, UNPROMPTED OUT OF NO WHERE ASKING TO SEE KALADIN’S SWORD

SHALLAN PLS “It’s a little small” GURL PLS

“Kaladin liked them both...just not together.” I’m just waiting for someone to yell at them to get a room. Kaladin is the most likely candidate and I’m going to die laughing when it happens.

honestly, polyamory is the real solution here

Two Unmade.

which means we need two radiants to go fight them so Adolin WHEN ARE YOU MANIFESTING, MY BOY?

literally every time anyone mentions seeing a cremling--especially a weird-shaped cremling--I JUST GET REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. WHAT IF IT’S 200-CREMLINGS-IN-A-TRENCH-COAT???

“But Adolin had been raised by a mother with a fondness for hugs” I’M SCREAMING THIS IS FINE I’M FINE. HE MUST MISS HER SO MUCH. HELP

wait, but don’t we know for sure that shardblades can be stuff that’s not swords? Like, didn’t Syl turn into a spear at the end of WoR? So maybe the Radiants DID make other tools for their followers--maybe they did have shardhammers for building and shardbows for hunting and shardshovels for digging latrines, but after the Recreance, the spren died, so they lost the ability to change shape?

Worth thinking about, anyway.

“Thank you for being you, Adolin.” “Everyone else was taken already.” BUDDYYYY. I LOVE HIM. HE’S SO GOOD AND WONDERFUL AND AAHH

OOHH, Shallan gets SQUIRES??? Somehow I didn’t really think that the Lightweavers would be one of the orders that had squires.. they seem a solitary bunch.

Kaladin just...scooting down to sit next to the highmarshal without an invitation is. listen, he’s always been brave, but this is a different sort of bravery--doing something that might get you in trouble with social codes is different from running headlong across a not-set bridge into battle--and I know he’s done shit like this before, often, but not...not really in context of military superiors? I don’T KNOW THIS FEELS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT AND I’M EXCITED FOR HIM.

I find it ironic that the COVERED walkway from the Oathgate platform to the palace is called the SUNwalk, but that’s fine.

Kishi is a really good name, dangit brandon stop taking all the really good names

Azure’s sword is a her?

YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT, KALADIN!! “How did you get here?” “I flew.” YOU CAn’T JUST. KAL, PLS

I’m

loev

hem

“I’ve given answers. If they aren’t the ones you want, perhaps the questions aren’t very good.” HELLO, I LOVE THIS BOY VERY MJUCH I DON’T KNWO IF YOU KNOW THIS ABOUT ME

wait come here chasing her

OH JESUS FUCK SHE’S VIVENNA ISN’T SHE

She’s from Somewhere Else and she’s got a weird sword and her name’s a color and Vivenna was SUPPOSED to show up in this book GODDAMNIT THERE SHE IS

heheheheheh gosh that’s fun

...............pleasant.

I suppose it is the HEART of the revel, after all...

I really, really didn’t sign up for a horror novel, idk why this keeps happening SIGH

You know you’ve watched too many shitty action movies when the first thing you can think of when a guy gets thrown off the city wall isn’t “oh god he got THROWN off a WALL” and is, instead, “I bet tehy’d have used a Wilhelm Scream there heh”

Listen, Kaladin, I know you CAN fight without flying, but you are currently fighting flying enemies, and you should absolutely go have an aerial battle with them, please, I just want you to be in more cinematic, badass fights pls.

OKAY, BUT MAYBE LAUNCHING YOURSELF OUT A WINDOW AT THIS FUSED GUY ISN’T THE BEST? WAY TO HAVE THE AERIAL BATTLE?

okay, I asked for this, but I rescind my request, BE CAREFUL BABE, PLS.

YES THE HEART

GO FOR THE HEART

YES

Y E S

“my red life” yah, ok, that’s definitely Vivenna NICE

hnnnngggg, every time Kaladin summons the sylbade and, like, does the thing where he rests her on his shoulder all casual and intimidating I just melt, I’m so

he’s so

and so

hnnnnnnnngggggg

mrrrghhh, OF COURSE There’s a gang that steals the food from Shallan’s informants and KILLS THEM EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE KIDS, uggghhh. Should have known.

Continues the trend of Shallan not really knowing anything about how life on the streets work, huh?

OK this lady with vine patterns in her skin who’s Soulcasting for Azure? Actual Soulcaster suffering the effects to way too many years Soulcasting? OR........Radiant?

Honestly, I suspect literally everyone of being a radiant at this point.

pffffffffffffffffffffffttt HOID

of course.

but why did he help? Why is he helping? What’s his game?

“She hadn’t lived on the streets and she didn’t know how to help people.” NICE YOU TO FINALLY REALIZE.

“The only way to live without failure is to be of no use to anyone. Trust me, I’ve practiced.” COOL, NOW I’M SAD ABOUT HOID. Listen, I know his books are sooo far off, but the more things he says, the more I want to KNOW about him. Argh.

“Many people have suffered more, and they got along fine.” Oooohhh, Shallan, honey. No one ever taught you that the fact that other people have it worse does not negate your suffering.

Also, like. most people have not, in fact, had it worse than you, really. In the grand scheme of things, having to kill both your parents when they tried to kill you sucks a LOT, despite your privilege making the rest of everything better for you...

GOD BLESS ADOLIN KHOLIN, WHO, WHEN CONFRONTED WITH HIS FIANCEE IN PANTS, REACTS ONLY BY COMPLIMENTING HER COLOR COORDINATION AND RECOMMENDING HER COAT BE TAILORED A HAIR BETTER.

BLESS THIS GOLDEN SUNLIGHT BOY.

“You’ve been wanting an army to attack your palace, Your Majesty... well, we’re ready.”

YOU MIGHT BE READY, BUT I’M NOT

DO NOT JUST GO INVADE THE PALACE WITH AN ARMY

GOD, HOW MANY OF YOU ARE GOING TO DIE

hi, Adolin talking to his sword still makes my heart swell, every time, he’s JUST SO GOOD AND PURE AND WONDERFUL

SUNSHINE BOY

HE PUT ON HIS UNIFORM

I’M

I lov hiiiiimm

it’s not Shallan that needs to drive this one back.

I’m still so enamored of this theory, I’m sticking with it even if it’s wrong, I don’t care. One Unmade per Radiant Order. It’s gotta be one of the boys this time. The Heart... Kaladin is nothing but heart, it’s gotta be the windrunner Unmade.

No one tell me I’m wrong, I will be SO DISAPPOINTED if it doesn’t go down this way.

OH SHIT

OOOHH SHIIIT

OOOHHHH SHIIIIIIIT

IT’S THE THING FROM THE COVER THE WHATSITCALLED THE ROCK MONSTER

OH SHIIIIIITTT WE ALL GON DIE

THUNDERCLAST, THAT’s the word phew glad I remembered

listen, Kaladin letting himself get smashed by a giant boulder just so he could Lash it away HURTS MY HEART

DON’T HURT KALADIN, 2K18

yuuuppppp it’s not a shardblade. Blergh, I didn’t finish Warbreaker, is there some wacky shenanigans with Vivenna’s sword? Does it pull the Breath from people or smthn? ...Do people on Roshar have Breath?

Adolin is SUCH ! A GOOD! COMMANDER!

.........I’m very glad that some of the palace guard aren’t evil, but. why did time move weird for them, apparently?

Is this the second Unmade? Is this one something to do with warping time??

I’m confuuuused.

oh

fuck

that’s

hot

GLOWING KALADIN WITH A TWELVE FOOT LONG SYLSPEAR, FLYING THROUGH THE THROWN-OPEN DOUBLE DOORS??? YEAH I’M F I N E, T H I S I S F I N E

nooo don’t split up

never split up

I don’t want this

Adolin giving Kaladin the Bridge Four salute. I’m cry.

oooooooooohh, Shallan summoned Pattern!! And she’s not panicking! I’m so proud of her ahh!!

Skar and Drehey just. continuing to save Adolin. Best bodyguards. Best friends. I love them so much.

mmmmmmmmmmm

I don’t

want this, this is intense this is A LOT

aaaaahhh fuck Kaladin’s wall squad came with. They are SO Going to Die, and I WI LL C RY

she’s singing? So... she’s... hm. What happened to the queen?

I STILL DON’T THINK SHALLAN CAN DEFEAT THIS UNMADE

ohnohecallshissonGav

I’m

ohnohecallshiswifeDearOne

I’m

Elhokar, please

you are so small, just. Be brave.

KALADIN, YOU MADE SYL KILL A SPREN??? I don’t care that it was an evil spren, that’s. You can’t.. Syl. Don’t make Syl kill her family, pls, I’m suffering.

oh no

what ancient spren, WHICH ONE, AESUDAN.

AND HOW

HOW DID YOU BIND VOIDSPREN TO PEOPLE

I’m assuming that’s what it is

I’M CONCERNED

Yelig-nar and Ashertmarn. 1. both of those are terrible star wars names, Brandon, you usually do better. 2. Are those BOTH Unmade? Or is Yelig-nar Aesudan’s...voidspren?

stormspren?

Ancient Parshendi Ancestor of Evil spren?

“I have taken the gemstone into me.” WELL, THAT’S A STEAMING PILE OF # Y I K E S

mmm yeah, no, she didn’t do it. Shallan didn’t defeat it, it retreated. Or was called away or something. We’re deeeefinitely going to have to deal with that again.

oh shit is this the other one?

this is the other one

Yelid-nar is Aseudan’s Parshendi Ancestor’s name. Sja-anat is the other Unmade.

I’m scared.

ON THE STAIRWELL? GoDDAMNIT THAT’S A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE PLACE FOR A FIGHT

 no

n

o

don’t

make kaladin

kill his parshendi friends

please

oh fuck, Moash is with Kaladin’s parshendi friends, isn’t he?

damn, I AM NOT READY FOR THIS

yeah, no SHIT The heart fled. I TOLD you Shallan couldn’t defeat that one.

but why is THIS one helping her? OR IS SHE

WHAT IS HAPPENING

GOOD DON’T KILL EACH OTHER PLEASE.

oh Kaladin

“He’s always been able to trick himself into seeing a battle as us against them. Protect those you love. Kill everyone else. But...but they didn’t deserve death. None of them did.” HI THIS IS MY GHOST TYPING, I AM DEAD NOW. Kaladin has come so far, from scraping along, doing everything he could to breathe, let alone survive, and now--look at him. Look at him realizing that everyone, everyone is doing the same thing he is. They are all of them fighting to survive, they are all of them fighting to protect what they love.

Everyone is the hero of their own story, even if they are a villain to you.

God, this book is so literary, it’s so strong. Be better. Do better than those who have wronged you. See yourself in those around you, even your enemy, and do better. Take responsibility for who you are and what you do and who you fight.  God, THIS BOOK.

Also, Kaladin trying to stop the fighting, I’m crying.

THEY ARE ALL DYING. I TOLD YOU THEY WOULD AND I TOLD YOU I WOULD CRY AND HERE I AM. SOBBING.

noooo

no no nono

I’ don’t

want this

put it

back

I’m

Elhokar waS SO CLOSE OH M Y GOD HE

ONE MORE WORD OF THE IDEAL GOD DAMNIT

Moash

of course

he always wanted to kill the king

fuck

I knew this was coming because I got fucking spoiled but it still hurt like a punch to the gut

FUCK, HE KNEW KALADIN WAS THERE AND HE DID IT ANYWAY

god

f u ck

I’m

he knew. he saluted. he didn’t even pause.

DAMMNIT, MOASH, YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS.

god, Kaladin screamed, I’m

not okay

So much for Kholinar, god

“If we engage the device, we’ll be caught in a disaster.” AREN’T YOU ALREADY

...sapphire is windrunners, right? so why is the epitaph.........it’s a sapphire recording. A windrunner. “Am I not supposed to want to help people?” Does that mean...what is the Fourth Ideal of the Windrunners? The order of people who help people. Why...would their Fourth Ideal...not? be about helping people?

UGH, the radiant recordings make me SO NERVOUS ALL THE TIME.

1. I hate Taravangian. A Lot.

2. Here’s a thing: Navani spent a whole book and a half thinking her eldest child was dead, but holding out hope she was alive, and getting to have that vindication when Jasnah showed up. How...how long is she going to hold out hope that Elhokar somehow made it out alive only to have that shattered when the rest of them show up and he doesn’t?

ALSO FUN FACTS, DALINAR PROBABLY NOW THINKS ADOLIN, ELHOKAR, AND KALADIN--THREE OF HIS FOUR SONS--ARE DEAD, PROBABLY, SO THAT’S FINE, I’M FINE.

EVERYTHING’S FINE.

OH FUCK IT TOOK THEM TO SHADESMAR

WHY

OH MY GOD

WHERE’S JASNAH WHEN YOU NEED HER, SHE CAN NAVIGATE THIS SHIT

also !!!! PATTERN AND SYL AND ?????? ???? ?? ADOLIN’S?? SPREN????? PLEASE SAY IT’S ADOLIN’S SPREN. HIS BLADE. WHATEVER. PLEASE.

LET ADOLIN HAVE A SPREN 2K18

god, Vivenna: HARD SAME, GIRL

also, I forgot that she would have had to have come through the Cognitive Realm to get from Nalthis to Roshar, but heeeeheheheh yeah. She knows what she’s doing here, or at the very least has an idea. Excellent.

but FUCK

SHADESMAR

AND EVERYONE THINKS THEY’RE DEAD

and dear fucking god, Moash, you’re better than this, why must you continue to make REALLY BAD DECISIONS.

these are my priorities

leave me alone.