from looking at the wiki i've concluded that other languages get all the funny translations. esp the italian and german versions. i mean i think the wiki should be taken with a slight grain of salt when it comes to translations but also.
these are all hilarious but the obvious highlight is paul quickthrow-
why is this glee club's italian name.
these aren't very funny but also two of these things are not like the others-
i get why the korean version didn't go with mochi but idk why the french, spanish n italian version were just like. "haha hammers go brr."
megamix's remixes have great names.
why did the spanish and german translations look at cosmic dance and go "ah yes. psychedelic."
,,, okay i see why it isn't cosmic dance at least (ft. french translation to show this' space dance)-
dingdong rocket.
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Big Men Headcanons
♡ NSFW, size kink, fem reader, size kink, oral->male receiving, fingering, did I mention size kink? ♡
note: I ain't write shit in a week lmao 🙃 I randomly felt motivated at 1 am tho
❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀
Big Men who are twice your size, making you look small in comparison no matter your proportions.
Big Men who could easily break you in half if they wanted to, but of course they'd never do that to their precious angel.
Big Men who are extra vocal when you give them head because the sound of you gagging on their cock turns them on to no end.
Big Men whose thick fingers can barely fit in your cunt when they try to prep you, continuously slipping out or not going in at all.
Big Men who whisper soft words of encouragement to you as they enter your pussy, coaxing you to relax as they fill you up.
Big Men who start off gentle and end up folding you in half, your legs propped on their shoulders as they pound into you mercilessly.
Big Men who almost cum inside you when they see the bulge their dick is making in your tummy.
Big Men who cum inside you anyway because you're just too tight for them to resist.
Big Men who kiss your forehead, praising you for how well you took them and telling you how amazing it'll feel the next time.
♡ TAIJU, DRAKEN, Mucho, Mochi, SOUTH, Reiner, ZEKE, NANAMI, Geto, TOJI, TOGAME, Kishibe, Rengoku, Uzui, GYOMEI, Kokushibo, Yoriichi, KAFKAAAA + any of your faves ♡
❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀
Taglist
@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katkusuo @happy-trenchcoated-impala @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies @manji-hoe @southside-otaku @xxchthonicreaturexx
@witchy-scribblings + @breathofthewind29 tagging y'all for the Kafka vibes ♥️
@rainyrindou tagging you for the Togame vibes lol 🩷
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cw: it’s just angst & jjk manga spoilers
satoru wakes with a start.
his breaths come a little faster than his body can process, his heart is pounding in his chest, and his head feels like someone’s stuck a hot poker in it.
it takes him what feels like a few minutes to settle down again, clutching the bedsheets in a tightly wound fist.
once things seemed to have returned to a normal level, he tries to remember what’d startled him. was it a dream? a memory? had he simply jerked himself awake whilst on the precipice of sleep, like you claimed he did—
his mind seems to be clearing up, because his next instinct is to sit up and make sure you’re okay.
you’re fine, sound asleep on your side of the bed.
satoru relaxes, albeit only slightly. he’s not sure why he’d been struck with such sudden panic. there’s just this…feeling. he might even go as far as to call it an overwhelming sense of dread, if he were dramatic.
there’s something. it’s hiding in the back of his brain, somewhere even his six eyes can’t find or comprehend.
he leans back against the headboard, reaching up to run his hands through then lightly grip the strands of his hair. outside, the sun’s barely peeking over the horizon, but whatever had startled him had left him wide awake.
“the kids are gonna be up soon,” you mumble, pulling him out of the mess of his mind. “better sleep while you have time.”
time. the word flashes like a flint strike in his mind, but the sparks don’t quite catch yet.
so he lays next to you, wrapping an arm around you to pull you into his chest. he feels a bit better, with you in his arms.
“what’s wrong?” you mumble, voice thick with sleep.
“nothing,” he lies.
you hum, but he knows that you know him too well. you always know when he’s lying.
you twist in his arms so the two of you are face to face, the tip of your nose brushing his.
your sleepy gaze finds his, sending him a small smile. “hi.”
he doesn’t reply because he finds he’s too busy memorizing the details or your face; the flecks of colour in your eyes, the slope of your nose. it’s as if it’s the first time he’s seeing it.
or maybe the last.
the thought comes out of nowhere and scares him so badly that he tries to pull away.
“hey,” you murmur, cradling his face in your hands. he catches your wrist intending to pull you away, but instead he clings to you like a lifeline. you’re the only thing keeping him grounded. “you’re okay.”
he wants to believe you, he really does. but anxiety is beginning to gnaw on the edge of his sanity.
“something’s wrong,” he admits quietly. “i don’t— i don’t know—”
“you worry too much,” you sigh, your thumb smoothing over his cheek.
“i just want us all to be safe,” he tells you.
“i know,” you hum again, smiling a little sadly. “i just wish you wouldn’t let it come at your expense.”
there are a lot of things he wants to say in this moment. he wants to ask why you’re worried, because you know he’s the strongest. that he would rip the heavens apart for you. he wants to tell you that he has a plan, and that he knows it’ll work.
(a plan for what? he thinks briefly. he can’t remember.)
but most of all…he wants to tell you that he loves you and the life you’ve built together. too much to leave it all behind.
but all that comes out is,
“i’d rather it be me than any of you.”
“don’t say that,” you frown. “we need you. i need you.”
there’s an awful ache settled deep in his chest, carving into the place where his heart sits.
“well, it’s a good thing i’m not planning to go anywhere anytime soon.” lie. “i love you.”
truth.
he rests his forehead against yours, tangling his fingers with yours.
the memories hit him like a gut punch.
handmade mochi. the flick of a lighter. a beach in okinawa. megumi and tsumiki laughing. you in your wedding dress, telling him you love him.
a crowded station. the beginning of the end.
his eyelids are suddenly heavy. there’s not enough time, he panics. that can’t be it—
“i’ll be here when you wake up,” you promise, and even though you sound like you’re a million miles away, he can hear the sadness in your voice. “you can rest now.”
satoru closes his eyes.
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