#mondes sigh counter: one billion

[byrdtrollsunoreversearchive]

Errands

“So this is- another vegetable?” She asks, fingernail tracing down the grocery list.

“It's- well, technically it's a fruit. But it’ll be near produce.” Mondes answers. 

“Right- and this too?” She asks. 

“No, it's a dried spice.” He says. “Look. It’s an intergalactic market. It’s not rocket science. Just look for the stuff with these names in front. It’ll be labeled.” The oliveblood’s eyes trail down the list at gray smudges where Bee touched the paper. He stares. 

“Did you… not seal your paint?” He says. 

“Do what?” She pauses. 

Mondes once again sighs, heading to the bathroom, digging through the cabinet.

“You have to seal that shit- or it’ll get everywhere- and people will either think you wear way too much foundation- or they’ll know you’re trying to hide something.”

The violetblood wrings her hands, but takes the bottle of fixer he’s handed her. 

“You really think trolls would notice a thing like that?” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be paranoid?” He answers, crossing his arms. 

“I’m actually supposed to be trying hard not to do that. According to my therapist” She says, applying the fixer to the layer of foundation they had used to cover her many violet freckles. Suddenly, she pauses. 

“This is a bad idea,” She says. 

“You know, I still helped with groceries and chores, when I was a fugitive.” Mondes answers. 

“I don’t know if I can do it as well as you can” She pleads. 

“I don’t know how much more tired I can get of you weaponizing your incompetence. It’s just groceries. You’ve already gone out with Hanagi- and without paint, even.” 

“Yeah, but I wasn’t like, alone for that” She says, pacing back and forth in the kitchen. “I don't know what half of these things are! What if I’ve forgotten some other stupid thing like the paint sealer!” Mondes sighs, glancing at the clock and back at the front door. The man walks off, muttering something she can only assume to be curses under his breath. 

She stands in the kitchen, glancing down at her hands. The more she thinks about it, this can’t be her natural gray skin tone. It’s way too obvious. Or is she imagining it? She turns her hands over. 

Mondes returns, setting two reusable grocery bags on the table. 

“Fine” he says “I will go with you. Once.” He says. “Then you do it alone.”

“You don’t have to do that,” She answers. 

“Apparently, I do,” He retorts. Walking out of the hive towards the spaceship. 

She swallows, standing a moment before following him out into the moonlight. 

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The market is sparse this early. Mondes navigates it with ease. This grocery store was the closest to his hive- he’s been there dozens of times with how often he cooks. 

“I see,” Bee says, picking up one of the list’s items, recognizing the sign. “It’s a fruit.” 

“Yeah” Mondes explains. “There’s like- red melony flesh in the arms” He says, pointing to the alien produce. 

“Is it good?” She asks. 

“Not raw. I’m using it for pies” He retorts, his eyes trailing over to where one of the cashiers is eyeing the two of them. Bee follows his gaze, and sets down the fruit. 

“Should we get out of here?” She mutters in a lower tone. 

“Cus the cashier looked at you? No, "he says. “I still need rice noodles. You’re gonna get a lot of stares going out in public hemoanon. It’s just what happens.” He mutters back, heading down another asle. Bee glances back at the purpleblood whos still watching them like a hawk, before scurrying after Mondes. 

“Could you stop being so suspicious?” He says, annoyed. 

“I was just walking. Do you think they recognized me?” She whispers frantically.

“Just stop looking at him,” Mondes mutters. 

“We should leave,” She pleads. 

Mondes inhales, grabbing the last of his items. 

“Fine- let's go. Be normal” He says, walking towards the self checkout. Bee, to give her credit, is doing her best not to look at the cashier, but in a way that's somehow even more suspicious, twisting her head to strange angles to keep him out of her line of vision. 

Mondes is counting to ten in his head, scanning his items at a practiced pace, praying this wouldn’t all go to shit somehow. The machine coughs up their receipt, and he grabs it, the two of them heading towards the door. 

The cashier blocks their path. 

“Excuse me ma'am” he says, staring down at Bee. “Could you empty your pockets?”

“What?” She says, staring at the floor. “Why?” 

“So I can see you didn’t take anything from the produce section.” He says. “Saw you pick up those fruits” 

“Yeah- Mondes is buying some, it’s right there in his bag” She squeaks. 

“I said pockets,” The cashier insists. Mondes gently nudges Bee with his elbow. Bee seems to take the entirely wrong message from this, and straightens her back. 

“You know,” She says. “We did nothing wrong! We picked up a fruit and bought it from your store.” She insists. “Mondes paid for it! You saw us at the self checkout!” 

“Bee” Mondes says frantically, trying to nip this in the bud. 

“Did I see that?” the cashier retorts. “I don’t know what I saw,” he says. “Let me see those bags.” 

Mondes, ever the rationalist, hands over the grocery bags. 

“We don’t want any trouble,” He says. “I’m sorry about her- but if you look at the receipt, I’m sure you’ll find everythings in order.” He says. 

The cashier pulls the receipt from the bag, scanning it as if searching for something wrong. Then he takes out several fruits. He weighs the fruit in his hand, and then says. 

“I don’t think you weighed all of these. Wrong price for this weight.” He accuses. 

“That is ludicrous” Bee hisses, and Mondes elbows her again. 

“Sorry” he says. “Honest mistake. We can go over and reweigh them right now. I’ll pay twice.” He says. “I’m a regular- I come here all of the time. We don't want any trouble”

“That’s- illegal! We already paid for that fruit! Your machine weighed it! Roll back your security tapes” She says, pointing at the shop camera. 

“Shut up Bee” Mondes retorts through gritted teeth. 

“Get out of my shop” The cashier says. “Before I call the cops.” 

“Fine” Mondes says, turning to leave.

“We paid for that! The receipts are right there!” Bee insists, yanking the bags out of the cashier's hands. “You just lost two valuable customers” She hisses as she storms off. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Mondes snaps once they’re out of the store doors. 

“I got us our food” She says slowly. 

“I wanted to be able to come back to that market” He insists. “Now I’m gonna have to drive across town! Why could you keep your fucking mouth shut!” 

Bee opens her mouth to retort, but instead stares past Mondes’s shoulder. He picks up what's happening just in time, and ducks before the purpleblood, who apparently followed them out of the store, takes a swing at him with a crowbar. Bee dives in between the two of them, pulling a switchblade from her pocket. 

“You’re not gonna rob my fucking store” The cashier insists. “And get away with it.” 

“We PAID!” She snaps, “Don’t make me attack you!” 

“Oh what, a tiny little girl with a knife? I’m soooo scared. You want me to find out exactly what kind of mutant you are? When i smash your brains into the-” 

And there was probably more to his tough guy monologue, but Bee has already sprung into action, grabbing his outstretched arm and yanking it forward, slamming him into the alleyway and disarming him in one move, she bends back his arm and presses the knife to his throat. 

“We didn’t rob your fucking store” She insists, one last time. “And you saw nothing here, capiche? Unless you want me to slit your throat” She says. 

“Fucking bitch” He coughs. “You and your little friend are banned for life, you hear?” 

“Don’t tempt me” She says, pressing the knife forward. 

“Bee,” Mondes says. “Let him go. More trouble than he’s worth.” He says. 

Bee stares at the man like she’s about to argue, but then loosens her hold, and the purpleblood falls to the ground, sputters, and then runs off. 

“What part?” Mondes hisses. “Of low profile, do you not fucking understand?” 

“I- what was I supposed to do! Let him charge you twice!” She snaps. 

“Yes,” he says. “I have the money.” 

“He attacked us for no reason!” She snaps. “He was bending over backwards to justify robbing us of food we bought! We didn’t do anything wrong!” 

Mondes stares for a long moment, and then his head falls into his hands. She thinks for a second he’s crying, but no, the oliveblood is laughing maniacally. 

“What’s so funny?” She says, slowly. 

He exhales. “Do you hear yourself?” He says. “Do you think about words before they come out of your mouth? Oh my fucking g-d, poor Bee, he made an assumption about you based on your blood color and then doubled down for no fucking reason? That must suck so much for you. I’m playing you nievole blanche on the world's tiniest cello. Can’t imagine what that feels like!” He throws up his arms. “Welcome to the glorious life of a lowblood! Not so fun on the other end, is it? Huh? Give me a fucking break.” 

“I didn’t know it was this bad” She mutters quietly. 

“You didn’t know it was this bad?! You didn’t know it was this bad?!!” He snaps. “You have more than one limeblood sibling!! How far was your head up your ass your entire grubhood! Thank Dia and Calsya for the slap I’m about to give you, for fucks sake!” He rants, raising his hand, jokingly. But pauses when Bee stiffens, flinching, a sudden look of horror crossing the violetblood’s face that twists into his heart like a knife. He stares, slowly, for a long moment, and then lowers his hand. 

“I’m- Kidding” He says, but his voice doesn’t do a perfect job of hiding his frustration. You can almost hear him counting to ten in his mind. “Sorry” the oliveblood spits out like a curseword. “I’m not going to hurt you. I just- you tried to have me executed for less. It’s more than a little ironic.” 

“I’m sorry” She says, “I should have known better. I didn’t mean to get you kicked out of that shop. I’m just, not used to this is all. I panicked.” She sighs. The violetblood stands still for a moment, and then leans down on her knees to start picking up the spilled groceries. He is almost content with that end to this conversation, but she keeps going, she ruins it, because of course she does. 

“You would have been right to slap me,” She says. “I wouldn’t stop you.” 

“No.” he says. “Not how this works. I know you’re an idiot. I know that you-” He pauses, the sentence dying on its feet. 

“You know what?” She says, slowly. 

“Nothing,” He says. “Forget it” 

“What do you know?” She repeats, going oddly still as she packs the groceries. 

“You wanna talk candidly about it?” he says. 

She does not answer for a while. “About what?” She says. 

He sighs. “I know you got abused.” He says. Bee’s movements grind nearly to a halt. 

“You know- the whole, your dad showing up at our hive, suddenly that fleet ladies dead- it’s not hard too- Everyone knows, I mean, even without that, you stumble through life like a scared rabbit hanging by a thread and it makes it so hard to be mad at you when I have every right to be. I just.” he exhales. 

“I knew that. So I shouldn’t have raised a hand at you. Knowing that. So I’m sorry for that specifically. I was right about everything else.” 

She places a box in the grocery bag. 

“I wish you’d hit me” She says, blinking. “At least that would make sense to me.” 

“You’ve gotta fucking- quit with that shit.” he says. “It really just makes me uncomfortable. I’m really not that kind of person.” He says. 

“I’m sorry” She repeats. 

“I know,” He answers. 

“It wasn’t- abuse” She says. “What happened to me.” 

“Bee,” Mondes says. “Who are we kidding here? Anymore? Exactly? Fine. My family has a lot of reasons to hate you. The whole Nandor thing? The whole getting beat up or fucked up mentally somehow by that teacher bitch? That’s not one of them. That’s one of the few things, me and Nesseo and everyone, are on your side about. So why mince words. Why keep defending that dead woman.” 

“I…” She says. “She was nice to me. Sometimes. A lot of the time. It wasn’t all… I’m not gonna make that my excuse. For what I became.” 

“Of course she was nice to you,” Mondes says slowly. “That’s how it fucking works- ask your therapist about, the cycle, or whatever- that’s how they get you. They’ll be awful and then nice and that’s why people stay even when they really shouldn’t.” 

She does not answer, staring at the fruit in her hand with dead eyes, unmoving. 

“I thought you loved excuses,” He says. “You’re really not gonna take this one?” 

“No,” She replies. 

He stares at her for a long time. Trying to sort out the complex emotions tumbling through his mind into words. Failing. Eventually, he decides to say nothing at all, walking over to help her pick up the groceries. 

“I have one more errand,” Bee says.

“Okay” he replies.

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“You kept my aquarium stickers” Bee says, tracing them on the back of the spaceships pilot seat. 

“My quarrel is with you” Mondes says as he flies. “Not with the beluga whale.”

She almost smiles, staring at the open sky in front of them. 

“Besides” he continues. “Das loves them.” 

The two of them are silent for a moment. 

“Are you sure this is the right address?” Mondes says, floating along the shoreline. 

“Yes- the GPS says it’s right ahead” Bee replies, tapping her hand on the arm rest. 

“In the ocean?” He says. 

“Yes, it’s, half underwater, it’s the whole gimmick” She says. 

“It’s half underwater” Mondes repeats. “And they serve food?” He says. 

“I never claimed the man who runs it was intelligent,” She says. 

“Duly noted” He responds. “Oh- that looks like it” He says, pausing over a bridge that leads out to an illuminated pirate ship, that appears to have some sort of hive beneath it, under the water. He parks, the two of them lock the ship and climb down. And they just walk in. 

They are greeted by a server, who begins the most monotone of customer service monologues like the world's least enthusiastic actor, not even looking up from the register.

“Yo ho ho. Welcome to Buckles and Buckaneers. I regret to inform you that the lower deck is closed due to an octopuses infestation” 

“Octopi” Bee says, instinctively. 

“Octopi” Katash retorts, still not looking up at the two of them as she grabs menus. “In other, better news, calamari is half off! Only three caegers! We’re practically giving it away. Table for how many…” The seadweller trails of, having finally made eye contact with Bee. The woman simply freezes, mouth half open, for what seems like an age. Recognizing her instantly.

“Is the manager in?” Bee says softly. 

“Y-yes” Katash stutters. 

“Table for three,” She says. “If he’ll have me”