#most people think of weight loss when you go through something terrible they don't consider weight gain as traumatic

[daedrabela]

i miss being hot. i miss taking pictures and feeling cute. i miss dressing up and wearing minxy little outfits. i can't stand myself anymore. i can't look in the mirror.

[arabella-s-arts]

Watched the new atla show. And now I will share my thoughts because I need to put them somewhere.

I agree with people that it kind of fell flat. More like an impersonation than the actual show. Also, people are right, where is Katara's rage? I'm not going to dive into it, because people already have, but Katara is stubborn and righteous, so where'd they put those qualities?

I wish the show would stop telling us everything. Like, stop telling me that Ozai thought finding the Avatar would be impossible, and sent Zuko on this quest anyway. I know, it's obvious. I don't need to be told the subtext, that's why it's subtext. Subtality could do this show a world of good.

Zhao's death sucked. It was perfect how it was in the original, it showed Zuko's kindness, and Zhao's hubris being his downfall was perfect. Also, this isn't necessarily a complaint, just something I noticed, Zhao feels different in the show. A guy with similar aspirations and ideas, yes, but not the same guy we all hate.

The acting wasn't always the greatest, but I can't tell if it's actually the actor's fault or script (probably script).

I wish Sokka was involved in the Jet plotline, he played a big part in it originally, and it really showed his true character.

Why did Katara and Aang never get any actual training in Northern Water Tribe? That's what they were there to do. Somehow, magically Katara became a master waterbender, because she what? Believed in herself? That's not how learning a skill works. Imagine trying to learn the flute, you're confident, and you figured out on your own how to play a few notes. But you still need someone to teach you the rest of the notes, how to trill, how to read the sheet music, etc. You can't learn everything just from confidence.

The costumes bothered me so much. Sokka and Katara's coats looked so light weight, which is probably more comfortable for the actors, but those coats could not shield you from a light breeze, much less a frozen tundra. Also someone pointed out that their clothes don't actually look worn, and they're right.

What on earth was the scarf scene? Why was it there? What was the point? I am not a Zutara shipper (though I have no hate for the shippers, just dislike for the ship), and now online is just going to be posts about that.

Was Suki just not wearing her warrior make-up because she had to kiss Sokka? Either way, it's still upsetting. The one time she doesn't wear her warrior make-up (which is an honor to wear) is when she's finally in a real fight, and on the day Kyoshi shows up too. Also, no Sokka wearing warrior make-up? I get if they couldn't fit it in, but it's still a bit sad.

I don't understand them getting rid of the fact that Aang ran away, I think it really makes his character more complex as he struggles to take on the responsibilities of the Avatar.

They sorta switched Sokka and Katara's roles in the Omashu tunnels, which I don't get.

Having Zuko fight Ozai in the Agni Kai was a terrible idea.

I'm sorry to say this, because I don't like Zuko being in pain. But Zuko's scar is smaller and a lot more understated than in the animation. I don't know much about burnt tissue, or how it will scar, especially with their technology. But we rarely see heroes with facial scars beyond a line through the eye or something, I don't want it taken away. The scar doesn't even seem to reach his ear. And I'm sad about them confirming his sight was fine. Zuko with some hearing and vision loss is technically just a headcanon. But then why did Zuko only leave his unscarred side up when sleeping around people he didn't trust in the animated version?

I could tell that Aang was airbending during it, so it wasn't really flying. But it's a little too similar, especially considering how significant flying is in Korra.

The thing that bothered me the most was Yue's death. Why was it barely acknowledged?! Yue made a huge sacrifice, but instead we're making up a plotline that causes Aang to have the spotlight instead. And when Sokka was talking to Arnook about Yue, somehow the conversation became focused on Sokka, and his insecurity, instead of someone they both deeply miss (though Sokka and Yue's relationship development could've been better). Sokka is joking around again by the end of the episode, it feels like her death never happened! And why make her a fish! No offense to fishes, but it feels less impactful, and in the original, we could see how Yue was able to keep some of herself alive in the way she presents herself as a spirit, she doesn't do that here.

Some things I liked:

Zuko being upset about Aang stealing his journal.

Sokka and Suki had really good chemistry (though, the show doesn't really give us a reason why Suki likes him, she seems annoyed with him when they first meet).

The effects were good, and I liked a lot of the fight scenes.

Kyoshi.

Oma and Shu being lesbians.

That one lady hitting Zuko for trying to hurt Aang.

Suki being awkward and beating up the guy she likes.

I am impressed with how they were able to overlap some story lines. That must have been difficult to figure out.

The sets.

Azula.

[ljterariness]

tw - themes of murder , thoughts of su!cide

this is just a little deviation from amber-canon , her involvement in the secret history doesn't even lead her into the main plot but i thought it'd be fun to think of how she'd behave if in that situation . to all you canon sticklers don't be mad , she's just a girl and this is just ideas . to help with following along i wrote a little list of the traits i believe amber would have pre-hampden just for some consistency !

- jealous

- complacent

- optimistic

- nieve

- logical

i think she'd be very quiet in classes at first , something about each of their classmates makes her uncomfortable . she does the work at rather an average , doesn't contribute in class for fear of being wrong . she does eventually though , i like to think she'd have to spark a friendship with one of the others first - perhaps bunny or camila . amber would be much more comfortable after that ; perhaps feeling like this is her opportunity to prove herself , that she is worthy of being there .

being involved in exclusivity would subdue the jealousy she'd felt for most of her life , she'd be much less angry at the world and much more subdued . it'd be the first time in her life amber had felt a sense of inclusivity , like she had people to just , exist with . instead of being jealous of each member of the class , she'd admire them , wordless respect .

i believe she'd struggle after the bacchanal ( yes i'm convinced she'd be a part , see point complacent (( if someone she associates with / sees as a friend tells her an idea she's almost bound to agree )) but yes she'd struggle . she resists the urge to leave , go home . amber wouldn't , fear of the word home among a refusal to demonstrate cowardice . she's on edge constantly , doesn't go outside unless she has good reason , it makes her physically sick more often than not . she found her usual optimism drained , everything that she loved about life was enough to make her hate it . she's not proud of herself but she makes it through . that she tells herself it'll pass .

when the death of bunny is approached as a topic , she doesn't actively contest it . she justifies it as logical - a him or us situation . she thinks about su!cide , the idea that she could just get out of it but that too , feels cowardly . tells herself that bunny is the obstacle stopping her from a good year . but of course she feels guilty even to consider it: it felt like there was a distinct line between the manslaughter of an unknown farmer and the murder of someone she considered a friend . she lets it happen , lets the event pass and the guilt come later .

it's like everyone's fine after - from amber's skewed perception anyways . she cries about it a lot , not just sadness for a death , but guilt too . it makes her feel unclean . she sleeps for a day at a time , late assignments and poor eating habits and she's constantly ill . she knows she's cracking , that complacence and "it'll pass" has lead her to something she cannot pass . days pass without her leaving her dorm , and it's like she's 19 again - stuck in her bedroom . but there's no mother to stop her from leaving . but there's guilt in the weight of the door-handle in her palm .

julian leaves and why would she stay in classes after that ? she's ready to leave even moreso now , to cut her losses pack her bags and go to sleep in the silence of her childhood bedroom . and then henry shoots himself and richard's been shot and god why even try ? she doesn't say her goodbyes , not to any of the mismatches friends that she'd bonded with over something so terrible .

she returns to reclucivity , the books in her room and the knowledge of the world she experienced . she sleeps in her childhood bed for days at a time , she drinks when she feels like it and eat when she remembers . it's not a life really , but she lead herself there .

[kerra-and-company]

A question prompted by your last post about Kerra: does she believe in destiny? In fate? In some sort of higher power, even? Or is she a sort of "this all happened because of my work and my effort" type of person?

(Nero, you're fantastic, thank you for asking <3) It really depends on what time period you're asking about. Like, heavily depends on that. So...let's break it down, shall we? (This also turned into "how does she feel about her destiny", which wasn't exactly the question, but have the bonus info :D ) First month of 1325 AE: Fully believes in destiny. She has no reason to do otherwise, and it was one of the first things she was told about after she woke up from the Dream. It's less that she believes in a higher power and more that she's certain her fate's been laid out for her already. The rest of 1325 AE: Still believes in it, but it feels different to her now. It's less "I know that I'll do XYZ and so things will eventually be okay" and more "I know that I'll do XYZ, which means that people are going to get hurt because of me and I can't stop it." Early 1326 AE: She feels like she's screwed up the world because she didn't truly understand what her destiny was. It's a weird position for her to take, on a surface level--if she thinks her fate's been laid out, then surely everything that's happened/the paths she's taken were meant to happen. But she sees the destiny as her end goal, and that is already set, but the path to get there (and the deaths, the lives, the losses) is on her head and hers alone. Mid-1326 AE through mid-1327 AE: She (thanks to her friends and family) decides that she needs to just live. She still believes that her destiny will come eventually, but she's almost actively ignoring it at this point. Rest of 1327 AE through 1328 AE: A lot happening in her head here, and it's the first time that her belief in destiny is...not exactly shaken, but maybe like...moved three feet to the left or something? She starts moving some of the blame and guilt she feels falls on her head from her to whatever entity (in her mind, partially the Dream, partially her Mother) gave the destiny to her. 1329 AE: She feels like she both fulfilled and spat in the face of destiny (both for the same action--saving her brother), and she's also in a much better place mentally. Her position at this point is that destiny is something that can be given to you, but if you don't choose it, then it can fuck right off. There's actually a point where she considers what to do with the egg, before Aurene's born, and her connection to it, which is another kind of destiny. She's not sure she wants it at all at first and considers rejecting it, up until Aurene hatches. But she maintains to this day that Aurene wasn't her destiny; Aurene is her daughter and she is Aurene's champion by choice. She chose to stay, to raise her as best she could, to visit whenever she had a free second (and some times when she technically didn't)...that was her, not destiny. 1330 AE onwards: Destiny and fate are goals that someone gives you. They're often important, sure, and they're worth considering and potentially pursuing--but only if you want to. You are not a failure or a terrible person for not wanting your destiny or for choosing another. It should be a guiding hand, not a weight on your shoulder. So, tl;dr answers to your questions: Does she believe in destiny/fate? Yes, in a sense, but not as an all-consuming thing. In some sort of higher power? No. She did, once, a little (the Dream, her Mother), but not anymore. Or is she a sort of "this all happened because of my work and my effort" type of person? The way the world shakes out is because of the actions she and others took, in her mind. At most, destiny's a guiding hand, and you can choose to shake it off if you don't want it.

[hellflame-for-a-reason]

Vampires don't have blood quirks

Part two

Tw for blood and loss of control

Training, it was the last lesson before lunch so they were all a little antsy. Mr Aizawa led them all to a large building and told them they were going to play a little game; everyone was given a little marble, and they could store it anywhere on them, the object of the game was to steal as many marbles as possible and the moment you lost your marble, you were out. There were to be three rounds, or at least as many as they could manage before lunch. So they took their marbles and hid them somewhere in their gym outfit, this task would be unfair if they were to use their hero costumes. Tenya certainly knew that it would be easy to hide a marble in his suit- he was half tempted to put it down an exhaust pipe but he knew that was too risky so he simply slid it into his shoe.

The whistle was blown and they all rushed into the building, Tenya knew that fights would break out as soon as the whistle was blown so he ran as deep into the building as he could get- it would be too risky to pick up stray marbles. He was wondering how he should play this while kind of wishing he’d brought a small snack, he’d only had a small juice box for breakfast after all. He simply ignored that and did his best to head around the corridors, sticking to the shadows. It was a good strategy as most other students were running about hunting each other… oh he shouldn’t use that word, it made him think about how much he couldn’t wait for lunch.

His way of doing things paid off, he managed to get second place in the first round, and now in the second round, he already had 4 marbles clasped in his fist. He turned a corner at full speed, suddenly finding himself on his back as a weight landed on his chest. For some reason he couldn’t see who it was… oh wait, “Hagakure?”

She giggled, “yep! Sorry Iida, can I have your marble?”

“Of course you can, you’ve earned it.” he pulled the marble out from its hiding place, holding it out for her, she took it. “This is certainly your kind of exercise isn’t it?”

Hagakure laughed at that, “it is, it's very fun! How about you?”

“It’s definitely fun,” he agreed, pausing when a very familiar smell filled his nose, “are you hurt at all?”

“Hm? Oh I did cut myself slightly earlier but it’s fine, I put a bandaid on it.”

“The bandaid’s come off.”

“Oh? Oh! It has! Thank you Iida!” She finally got off of him, he did his best to hold his breath as he stood up, slowly leaving the building, where he allowed himself to breathe deeply. Great; now he was even more hungry, and they still had a round to go.

The third round, Iida didn’t want to get too close to anyone, he was kicking himself for not getting more breakfast. He could smell Bakugo’s brand new nosebleed from three rooms away, and it was making him dizzy. He resolved himself to just sit in the window of one of the rooms, staring out and trying to breath without smelling anything. It wasn’t like he was trying to make himself hungry, this was just a terrible situation. He prayed no one would come into the room he was hiding in, he didn’t care about his marble but he couldn’t exactly trust himself like this.

He could see the people who were knocked out of the game leaving the building from here, it was a nice distraction but there was a small part of his brain that was begging him to jump down there and hunt. So the footsteps that came too close weren't entirely unwelcome of a distraction, he still froze in place, not wanting to move a muscle for fear he’d lose it. He knew it was Midoriya, from the bouncing footsteps to the scent of fresh cut grass and residue blood. Midoriya was the last person Tenya ever wanted to hurt.

“Iida?”

Oh the hand on his shoulder was a mistake and within seconds Midoriya was pinned against the floor with Tenya perched on top of him. The green haired boy had turned red, staring up at him as Tenya leaned too close, way too close. Tenya knew it was wrong, he knew that, but Midoriya just smelt so good, and he simply couldn’t take it. He inhaled the scent deeply, feeling his heart rate jump up to almost that of a human’s. His mouth had filled with saliva and he felt incredibly warm and adrenaline-filled.

“...I-...Iida..?”

“You’d make a much better damsel than Uraraka…” he was unable to think of anything but how his friend might taste, his engine warming up on its own, the adrenaline kicking it into gear.

“...what?”

“Huh?” Midoriya’s confusion gave Tenya the moment of clarity he needed, “oh! Yes, the marble, where’s the marble?”

“My pocket… are you okay?”

“Mhm!” he nodded, taking the marble from Midoriya’ pocket, “ah you’re out it seems, best get down and tell Mr Aizawa,”

“I can’t, you’re still on top of me.”

“Oh, I’ll just get off of you then…” he stood up, struggling to keep his thoughts coherent.

"Yeah…" Midoriya got up, brushing himself off as he stared at Tenya in confusion, "are you alright Iida? You're…"

"Fine, I'm fine," Tenya waved his hand dismissively, "you should go wait out the rest of the round."

Midoriya hurried off and Tenya was alone with his thoughts, kicking himself for losing his cool the way he did. He couldn't believe he was seriously considering biting him, he would never hurt his friends, he loved his friends. He's never even bitten a human in his entire life, that's not something a hero does! Tenya couldn't shake the feeling that Midoriya's smell had given him though, it had been so incredibly intoxicating, in more than one sense. For a split second he wondered if Midoriya would taste as good as he smelt, he instantly killed that thought the moment he had it- that was something he should never be thinking about, he wasn't a monster!

When the round ended, Tenya stumbled out of the building and stood there silently, trying to ignore the small cuts and bloody noses of his classmates though it drove him crazy. Mr Aizawa had asked them all how many marbles they had, and out of the students still left in the building by the end, Tenya had the least amount of marbles, only having taken one. Bakugo, who had gotten the most, seemed to find this funny. Laughing at Tenya, he leered, "what were you even doing this whole time? Sitting on your ass?"

Tenya just sighed in response, not feeling like retorting, but as class president, he had a duty to take no shit and be an example to his fellow students. "For your information, Bakugo, this isn't really my forte; my quirk and skillset are built for speed and power, not for ambushing and hunting." He was right, although the part about not being built for hunting was incorrect, his entire species was built for that sort of thing.

"You have a point Iida," Mr Aizawa spoke up, "however you were quite good in the first round, and if it wasn't for Hagakure you definitely would have gotten a good score there too. So did something happen this round? Is there a reason for your sudden lapse in performance?"

"Sir?" Midoriya raised his hand quietly, "not to overstep but it was my marble he took and when I found him, he seemed a little… dazed? I don't really know how to describe it…"

Tenya couldn't look at Midoriya, he didn't want to feel the way he'd felt then again. He hadn't meant to freak poor Midoriya out like that, he couldn't imagine a worse thing to happen. Mr Aizawa turned to him, clearly waiting for an explanation of this behaviour, but there was no way Tenya could tell the truth. Instead he just sighed, trying not to meet his eyes, "I am feeling a little… dizzy, sir. I apologize for not doing anything about it."

"Ah, I see. If you're feeling under the weather then you shouldn't push yourself to train, you should have just told me you felt ill."

He bowed his head in shame, "yes sir, my apologies."

"Stop apologizing and go get some rest, class is dismissed, I'll go over my observations with you tomorrow."

The class filed out of the room, most of them heading to the changing rooms or the cafeteria, but Tenya found himself rushing across the campus to get to the dorms. He could feel his mind clouding again as he got through the door, the entire dorms smelled of his friends, it smelt so unbearably human. Quickly making his way up the stairs, Tenya could only pray his friends weren't kind enough to try and check up on him. The moment he got into his room, he slammed the door shut, he was unable to lock it so he did the next best thing and slid a chair under the handle. Hopefully that would keep any would-be-victims out of the room. With the last of his control fading, Tenya let out a groan that quickly turned to a hiss, good gosh he was hungry.

He got to the floor, opening the minifridge that he kept under his bed. Unfortunately he opened it so quickly he tore the door off, but in this state, he really didn't care. All he cared about was feeding. He grabbed the biggest bag he could, not even bothering to use a straw as he tore into it, ignoring how it got on his face; all he could focus on was the taste and how much he needed this.

It was only animal blood; he'd heard that human blood was better but he would never consider trying it, animal blood was all he'd ever done and it should be enough to quell his frenzy. That was what it was, a feeding frenzy; something that happened when a vampire got particularly overwhelmed with thirst. Any control or logic went out the window in favour of doing anything and everything in his power to feed, that was why he'd put the chair under his door handle, he didn't want to get out and during a frenzy he likely wouldn't be able to figure out how to escape. Luckily the blood bags seemed enough for him, and he was happy to just sit there and tear open bag after bag of the red nectar.

After around ten minutes of feeding, Tenya found himself a lot calmer, allowing himself to slow down with the feeding. His floor was littered with empty blood bags now, so he'd probably have to clean up before the next lesson. For now, though, he could just relax and enjoy his lunch, this particular bag was beef blood- his favourite. He was just vibing, he wasn't expecting a knock at his dorm room door. Naturally, he panicked, grabbing all the bags and shoving them into the fridge, not caring if one popped. "One minute!" He hoped they wouldn't be suspicious by how long it took him to get to the door, he didn't have a mop so he had to go at his floor with a tissue.

When he finally opened the door, he saw that it was Midoriya and Todoroki standing there. Midoriya smiled up at him, "are you feeling any better now Iida?"

Tenya smiled, appreciating that his friends were so caring, "of course, I'm perfectly fine now. Not to worry Midoriya, I'm feeling better now."

"That's good!" Midoriya smiled, walking into the room, followed by Todoroki, who frowned the moment he'd stepped through the doorway.

"Wh-" Iida closed the door behind them, "did you need anything more?"

"No, Midoriya suggested we come and check on you to make sure you were doing alright. Have you eaten yet?"