#mostly made this set for the excellent teamwork in gif 5

[midnightisquiet]

Dead Boy Detectives 1.04

[rkheejin]

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ MGA SEASON FIVE, EPISODE SIX— THE GROUP PERFORMANCES!

           •  •  •  vixx’ shangri la  ❪ 1:15 — 5:05! ❫                      w. kyungsoo, hyojin, suwoong & eric

     on her lips sits a beaming smile of triumph, satisfaction radiating outwards, and finally, she can allow herself a moment of peace. it feels far better than she'd originally thought it would, hearing her name among those considered the best for the second time that season, and she's elated ( she knew, oh she knew, that this performance would have been her best chance at making it back to the top— sure, they hadn't taken first, but they had gotten damn close. heejin could live with that for now ).

     even if she wasn't number one, she'd still been recognized— despite her shortcomings, despite the obvious weak link she was sure she proved to be in terms of certain skills when compared to kyulkyung and minho, she'd still managed to shine and show off her very best. heejin could never admit her true thoughts, too fearful of vulnerability amongst those she still needed proper time and a more relaxed setting to grow closer with, but she'd been worried.

     the thought of having to rely on her teammates to the possible point of them almost needing to carry her along as a way of compensating for her weakness' had plagued her all throughout the week. it had been a strong motivator for her as well, however, especially with the chance of her solely being eliminated if she couldn't match up to them and help keep them steadily afloat amongst the others— so, heejin had wanted to improve, had wanted to get better, and she had done just that with agreeable success.

     yet, despite being safe for another week, eliminations still manage to make her heart stop with full force and disbelief.

     she’s still proud, her body buzzing with unending excitement, but it no longer reaches her eyes the same way it had only a few short moments ago. what does reach her eyes, however, is the brunettes frame as she's made to leave. heejin doesn't even try to hide the obvious frown that pulls at her lips, brows furrowing in her own dejection— things seem to shatter then; wishful, rosy visions of her and jungeun continuing on in this journey together, succeeding together, advancing towards their dreams together just as they'd promised each other they would before all of this started.

    now, it's just her.

     she's lightheaded— it's an odd sensation, to cruise almost seamlessly on such a desperately craved high, but to still taste nothing but bitter disappointment.

     it's hard to focus after that, ears still ringing as her emotions fight for dominance, and it's all heejin can do to keep her features from conveying anything too telling anymore.

                                                                      ♡

     with her emotions already proving to be mildly unstable, her heart still throbbing from both eliminations as well as events in her personal life, now beautifully stained in vibrant violet hues, heejin has no idea what she should expect when her first day of proper practice with her new group for the week rolls around. introductions had gone as smoothly as any, dynamics presenting themselves almost immediately, and despite the unknown, heejin is given at least some insight from the very start— coach cheri was as sweet as her name, coach ella was not one to play games with, and coach wonwoo proved to be far softer than his piercing eyes probably led others to believe.

     it interests her greatly, especially once all eight of them are together and ready to get down to business. that interest, however, slowly dissolves into thinly veiled annoyance as days pass, and it's all she can do to keep herself from raising her voice in front of greedy cameras and impressionable seniors.

     heejin wants to succeed, wants to make sure she only gives her best— that had become her goal from the very moment she had learned who her coaches would be ( who her teammates would be ). they were a mixed bunch, more balanced in some areas and greatly skewed in others, but that was the least of heejins worries— she’s done this before; she’s worked with those different from her, managing to put on performances that succeeded despite these differences.

     but now, surrounded by four men as the only female contestant on her team, the determination to make herself stand out and to not let herself be overshadowed by those bigger than her ( physically speaking, of course ) had taken root in her mind strongly. she understood the risks someone in her position posed— not being able to hold her own, not being able to stand out properly, not being able to showcase the same amount of charisma as the boys on her team.

     she wasn't blind. she knew there were so many out there who still failed to see a girl's strengths when surrounded by boys doing exactly the same thing.

     heejin wouldn't let herself be seen as weak, not by anyone— not when labels like could hurt her standing in the long run.

     she needed to focus— doing so was easier said than done.

     the first real sign she picks up on comes during part distributions once they've all agreed on a song, and heejin is more than happy in how she excels the most vocally amongst them all. deciding her parts comes easily, her naturally higher tone and timbre slotting almost perfectly with every line she tests out, and for just a second, heejin believes the unanswered tension she can hazily feel in the air is simply there because they're all mostly still so fresh to one another— wanting to tread lightly when it comes to newly met people was only natural, after all, even when it came to people as friendly and outgoing as suwoong seemed to be.

     her gaze finds suwoongs frame the moment he voices himself, eyes darting back and forth between him and kyungsoo as her lips remain sealed. she doesn't move from her spot before the practice mirrors where she'd started trying to fine-tune certain points of their choreography, phone in hand as the recording they had taken of them dancing silently plays on. his voice rings so clear in the quiet of the room— can i try this part, too?

     it's rare that she ever finds herself witnessing squabbles like this, and it's in the way she sees kyungsoo stand his ground, the way suwoong doesn't falter in his challenge, that heejin thinks she finally understands why the air seems thicker than it really should be.

     personal attachments and grudges were a tricky thing— they were the main reason heejin didn't feel the want to get too close to anyone during the duration of the competition, people like jungeun, yuri and kyulkyung being those among the exceptions. she hadn't come here to make friends; heejin came here to compete, to show her talents and move on to the next stage in her life. there was no time to dwell on personal feelings, not when practice and performing required as much energy and attention as possible.

     maybe, had she met certain people in a different setting, she'd have felt more interest in making proper friends— but that wasn't the case here.

     she remains silent as their little debate comes to an end not too long after, trial and error settling them right back where they’d been. in her mind, there was no use in coming between others arguments, not when she wasn't needed ( not when this wasn't about her ). heejin already had more than enough to worry about— if her teammates could solve whatever issues they had between one another amongst themselves at some point, she felt no need to stress over them. for now, she needed to worry about herself.

     unlike last week, every group would be down a member once eliminations were over. there were no longer any safety nets, no cushions to relax on regardless of how outstanding your team was. one of them would be gone come thursday, whether they felt it justified or not.

     yet, it seems distraction after distraction is all she gets the longer they practice. granted, not everything dissolves into ruin, their general teamwork skill fairing well at certain points of the day. no one explodes, causes disruptions, or sours the mood more than it'd already been earlier.

     the first time suwoong hits her with his fan, however, fingers unable to get a proper grip before it delivers an audible whap to the back of her head, heejin wants nothing more than to yell at him ( had this been the only incident that day, had she not already been a little tired from how hard they'd all already been working in order to perfect what they could, maybe she'd have been more lenient and not so ready to explode, but it's not— no, she feels he'd done his best to disrupt her multiple times already, bumping into her a tad too harshly from time to time in the groups efforts to get their movements more in sync ).

     she does well to keep it together, however, the only tell of her feelings being an annoyed quirk of her brow, lips forming a tight line, a sigh leaving her silently to let out built-up steam. she stares at him for a moment, gaze hard as she gives a small shake of her head, and his apology falls on somewhat deaf ears— she doesn't want to hear it, not now. "it's fine, let's just keep going."

     she has to save some sort of face in front of them all, has to show, while she's not one to push around, she can be civil when the situation calls for it.

     it surprises her, however, when suwoon extends an invitation out to her to join him and eric during a very much needed lunch break the next day. her mind is still reeling from the events that'd taken place not even a moment before— the tension in the room coming to a head, exploding in an outburst between kyungsoo and wusoong, and heejin can't help the way she visibly flinches as the former bursts out of the room, his fan hitting the practice rooms floor with a thud. maybe it's the shock of it all that prompts her to accept despite her own personal feelings, wanting nothing more than to get out of a room sophisticating with negativity.

     for the most part, she remains quiet as the others reveal their own feelings about things within the group, but it comes out of nowhere— she'd wanted to leave it be, keep herself silent until all was said and done, mainly for the sake of making it through the week without causing even more distracting rifts between them all. but she can't.

     she's gone too long holding her tongue, with keeping herself silent where she'd normally be so outspoken and ready to let her thoughts known. it makes sense, she thinks, that at some point, her exterior would chip. so, as she voices her own annoyances to suwoong, tone curt brows furrowed as her gaze stays locked on him, it feels as if some kind of weight has been lifted from her shoulders. it's an unfamiliar feeling, but then again, letting everything go after bottling it all up is something heejin has never done before.

     she hopes she never has to do it again.

     her confessions help some, but there's still something in her that wants to stay annoyed— call her petty, childish for holding into to things that very well might not be there, but her own assumptions and drive to prove someone ( anyone ) wrong won't let her calm down completely. at least she's given an apology.

     with monday comes mild fatigue— both mentally and physically, the worst she thinks she's felt yet during the competition ( more so than last week, when her emotions had been in an all-time confusion ). it's a lot to keep her gaze forward and mind focused when it seems there's always something causing a distraction, her body finally succumbing to slight soreness with how dance-heavy their routine is for her. heejin has always been a singer, has always put her time and attention towards strengthening her vocals over everything else, so she'd been well aware that being thrown into such dance-heavy routine requirements for two weeks in a row would take a toll on her body at some point.

     it's as she giving her body the proper stretches it needs before they all officially begin with more practice, face bare for the first time in front of them all ( unlike the last few days where she'd decided to do light makeup ), that suwoong and kyungsoo bring them all together. she wants to hate how nice the former is to her now, holding out the donut box they'd brought for the group as a final way of hoping to quell any lingering negative thoughts, but even with how stubborn she is, heejin knows better— she understands what this is, a silent peace offering.

     heejin swallows her pride, a small half grin making its way onto her lips as she reaches in for the first pick. "thank you." we're ok.

     with one final heart to heart, all five of them present and willing to speak for the sake of bettering morale and motivation, that day proves to be one of the easiest to breathe she's had since they came together. it's refreshing, ending things off on a higher note as they finally break and begin to practice.

     dancing still proves to be her vice, but there is undeniable improvement in her movements, heejins will to work harder and clean up anything pointed out as lacking or messy at its highest— with everyone now relatively on the same page, it's easier to out her focus on improvement, and as their final few days pass, she's happy with what she's able to showcase. she no longer has to hope for her vocals to boost her standing when paired alongside her dancing, more confident pulling off a routine as elegant and unified as theirs is ( even with the changes that'd been made to make it a bit easier to follow ).

     the day before filming, fans in hand with varying enthusiasm from each of them, fans are gifted to the three of their coaches— the serve as thanks for the time spared working with them, messages written as a way of immortalizing their gratitude. while the week may have been a trying one a good chunk of the time, with things ending on a higher note before the big day, heejin feels good.

     now, they just had to perform.

                                                                      ♡

     everything feels so different, contestants sat backstage, rather than in front of the stage alongside the judges. it's an unfamiliar feeling so heejin, staff members working around them all as last-minute preparations are done here and there before filming officially begins. she's not sure what's got her skin buzzing with electricity more— the bigger stage, the potential usage of more intense props in the hopes of making stages pop, or the crowd of 1500 people who would be watching them all live as opposed to relative silence and smaller numbers they'd all come to know once filming began.

     whatever it is, heejin wants more.

     eyes bouncing from face to face as everyone settles down to begin, a brief sense of melancholy washes over her— it's still so odd to her, jungeun nowhere in sight when she should have been there ( at least, heejin believed she should be there ). it still saddened her knowing that her best friends run had been cut right before the beginning of the end, but it was a reality she'd been forced to accept during the week between episodes.

     she'd come to terms with it in a way, as unfair as she wholeheartedly believed it to be, and strengthened her resolve— she would continue on and succeed for the both of them, and when the time came, they'd meet one another on the same field once more.

     as performances start, it's easy for her to let her mind wander for a moment, offering a brief moment of peace to steel herself and prepare her mind. vaguely, with her eyes stuck to the screen showing what the others are performing, she lets herself nod along to song choices and analyze. then, as if no time at all had passed, it's finally their turn to perform.

     stood before the judges and live audience, heejin is sure to keep her head high, a confident grin on her lips as she holds her fan loosely. with a cue from suwoong, they sound off their unified introduction before individual ones are given. when it's time for heejin to give hers. "i'm jeon heejin, youths over flowers' gladiolus. like a sword, the very thing this delicate flower is named after, i'll make sure my passion pierces your heart." for the dramatic flair, she opens her fan adorned with the pattern of the very same flower as if it's second nature, raising it slightly to cover the lower half of her face, letting only her eyes and the bridge of her nose show as she bats her lashes prettily.

     as suwoong ends off their introductions with his own ( heejin can't help the way her eyes roll playfully, suppressing a grin ), they're quick to find their positions, fog rolling at their feet, and suddenly, the playful mood they'd originally brought to the stage is gone in favor of something more somber with the dimming of the lights, intense and alluring.

     heejin no longer smiles, her features instead schooled into something more along the lines of captivating, eyes dark to match the mood as the instrumentals begin, the flick of her wrist down with a certain grace, one she'd been sure to perfect as best as possible over the last week. they had to do this right, in sync with one another in order to achieve the polished effect it was meant to give off as if they were all single parts that made up a whole.

     moving positions as starts off the song, the lights becoming brighter once again, heejin makes sure to focus on the sharpness of her movements while also trying to keep a certain fluidity to her body— it's an odd balance to try and find right from the start, but she does her best, sinking to her knees along with the others slowly as suwoong is revealed and sings his own line.

     coming to the center, heejin commands her own attention, vocals smooth, warmth present as she starts the second half of the verse and delivers her lines with tempting charisma. her gaze is intense, holding focus from those watching her. she's glad her portion for this part of the dance isn't too distracting or overbearing on her body, allowing for her to perform it well while keeping her voice steady.

난 네게 취해 아득한 향기에 기대

     she's swift in her change of positions as suwoong comes to the center once more, moving back to where he'd previously been standing before making his way back to the front. her features stay consistent, this brief time of being hidden as they all form a line as suwoong and eric do their parts for the bridge letting heejin put a little more focus on keeping her moves as in sync as she can. arm fanning out as it should, the line eventually parting as the two move off to the side, heejin comes forward with an air of mystery and longing.

모든 숨소리가 너인 것만 같아

     as she finishes the pre-chorus, moving back into position with the rest of the group, the chorus begins, hyojins vocals taking control as they all dance in sync. when practicing, there had been no questioning heejins trouble with making sure she did the moves correctly, even once certain moves that had proved to be a bit too difficult had been changed in favor of something easier. while rhythm wasn't the issue, it was more of making sure they all timed their movements correctly. there was also the matter of making sure she looked strong, charismatic, as she moved her body, letting herself follow the beat well as the others did the same.

     moving forward for the second half of the chorus, she does so with intent, gaze dead center. she moves gracefully, certain points allowing her to do so, and her voice is strong as she delivers.

난 취해 좀 더 취해 이 꿈속에 빠져들고 싶어 넌 다가와서 내게만 스며들어

     the next time heejin is meant to sing wouldn't be showing up for a bit, and so, she chooses to do all she can when it comes to her facial expressions and dancing. with no longer needing to focus on making sure her voice sounds as good as always, she's free to move with a certain edge, and she's able to look out amongst the crowd and judges every now and then. whenever she does, she's sure her eyes a half-lidded, lips never wavering from their neutral position ( though, sometimes, she does let a sliver of a smirk cross her lips ), long hair adding to the illusion whenever it happened to fall over her face perfectly.

     it'd act like a curtain, and once the chorus arrives again and she steps forward to take over the second part to it, she runs her fingers through her hair with her free hand slowly, freeing her features and adding to her own appeal.

난 취해 좀 더 취해 이 꿈속에 빠져들고 싶어 넌 다가와서 내게만 스며들어

     as she finishes and the others take on their parts, it all comes back down to focus— making sure every step she takes is one without hesitation, making sure the aura she bleeds is one that fits the tone of the song, making sure that, even when she isn't in the center, she still demands some form of attention by the look in her eyes. it's all simply a buildup, unknown to the audience, and with each line sung, each part of the choreography taken care of, everything changes as the lights dim once more, just as they had been for the start of their performance. this time, however, unlike how tame everything had been, this dance break holds more power in it, demanding precision heejin normally wouldn't care to give.

     now, however, she performs it with great attention and vigor, hoping to capture it's beauty and intensity the best that she can.

     she can feel her heart racing, breaths labored, but she does her best to keep herself from letting them out through the mic. instead, as they finish the break and the lights flicker back to normal, she takes a deep breath during their brief moment of rest before she belts out a high note, layering over eric as he begins the first part of the final chorus. then, she steps in to deliver her last vocal lines.

가까워지는 넌 다시 또 마음에 피어나잖아

     as their performance comes to a close, the chorus ending and all of them striking their ending pose, their fans all flick in unison as the lights dim for a final time, marking the end of their time on stage. heejin takes a moment, letting herself catch her breath before she shows her face fully once more, a smile growing on her lips. as they give bows all around and are ushered off of the stage, she lets out one last sigh.

     all there was left to do now was wait for their verdict.