#moving from the old blog bcs i love to read my own unhinged 6am rambles <3

[xfindingtrouble]

thinking about in episode three when percy is seated directly across from the briarwoods. when he realizes he is going to have to have dinner with them [again] you can see this despair, feel the pit in his belly as he remembers the last feast he attended with them in towe. the bloodshed, the betrayal, he can never forget how easily the arrows tore through his mother's neck. but then you see that despair immediately twist into this divine rage. this rage that has defined him for years, that has driven him to make a pact with a demon, to feed it souls in order to have access to the power he thinks is necessary to exact his revenge. thinking about when he see's them he grabs his side, remembering how that meat hook felt against his skin.

thinking also about the tunnel vision he has, how he insists he's fine. but when he does he is thinking, relentlessly, of how he is going to kill the briarwoods. how a quick death is too merciful for them. probably considers grog's suggestion of just getting up & throwing his fist in their faces. but he knows better, to his dismay. like usually he is decent at social situations, he can handle himself among nobility but these not-so-subtle prods at him just cause him to lose it.

' have we met before ' is a literal challenge. delilah is pushing percy, she wants to vilify him i just fucking know it & he knows it too. i am thinking, very constantly, about the moment he breaks the wine glass in his hand. how he doesn't even have the capacity to realize he's bleeding onto this very fancy dinner table, he's totally lost his usually hard-to-break cool. across from him are the people who took everything from him & he can't say a damn word. he can't do a damn thing. but all he can think about is taking his gun out & spraying the wall with their brains.

thinking about the moment they start insulting the de rolos & percy literally cannot stand it anymore. he loses his cool, he stands up as if he's going to do it because he wants to. he just might, consequences be damned. if she is claiming he abandoned his people, he is going to show her precisely how much he thinks of them. precisely how much he thinks of her & powerful a bullet can be against flesh.

fucking obsessed with delilah's >:3 energy when she finally gets percy to break, also. i am just obsessed with this episode overall i will 11/10 have more thoughts on this but it is 6am & i am so tired.

also thinking about scanlan's distraction. thinking about the pie. thinking about the pie. thinking about the pie.