rafaelkfouri

[inkykeiji]

heyyyy sweetheart!!! i’m happy to see you back on my dash <3 i hope everything’s okay, giving u loads of kisses

- lover <3

hi lover bb!!!!! and i’m happy to see you back in my inbox ehehe (´∀｀)♡ i’m trying my best given the current circumstances!! i’m trying to think of one Tiny Good Thing that happened each day and appreciate it <3 today my tiny good thing was that i got to play in the snow!!

[inkykeiji]

hi hi!! sorry if this is overstepping :( but i was just wondering if you had any type of birth control and what kind? i use the nexplanon implant and i’ve had it for 6 months and i’m still spotting every single day so i’m thinking of removing it!!

dw you’re fine!!! <3 i’m on the pill and have been for about five years now!!! i was started on a low hormonal dose not for sex reasons but to actually help regulate (and lighten) my abnormal period!

EDIT:

lovely scout has some more advice for u anon bb!!! <333

[inkykeiji]

will u write more tomura situations/stuff in the touya-nii universe? :') the last one BROKE my heart + it feels wrong but right all at the same time!!

i hope u're well btw!! reading your stories gets me through the work day <3

i would love to!!!! a few months ago on my blog i had been having a discussion with everyone about starting a series centered around touya-nii’s tomura; either an alternate universe of my alternate universe (lmao) with a new reader or continuing from where the hypothetical birthday piece left off (with a new reader as well). i’m not sure if either of these will ever totally take shape, but they’re definitely on the table!!! i’m also totally open to writing more hypothetical oneshots with him just for fun, if you’d be interested in that!!!!! i love touya-nii’s tomura so so sooooo much, he’s so fun to write and such a precious lil puppy and i’d love to and plan to continue exploring him in the future!!! <333

aw bb thank you so much for that <3 that’s so sweet and so lovely and it makes me feel nice n warm n fuzzy inside <33 ily sweetpea pls have a fantastic day!!

[inkykeiji]

Hi Clari! I’m pussy slapping anon, also anon who wrote that Keigo drabble that they didn’t know how to share cause it was too long to fit in one ask, also long time lurker lol. I just want to say I love your work and writing sooo much! I was absolutely elated that you enjoyed my little off the dome punishment scenario! if you don’t mind, I’ll send my Keigo drabble to you in numbered parts, not as dark but still made my mind go burr because expensive things yes!

hahahaha aw anon!!! thank you so much!!!!!! <33 i’m very glad to have you here!!! YES IT WAS QUITE YUMMY THANK U FOR SHARING THAT!! of course i don’t mind sweetpea! <3 i got all four parts and i stored them safely in my drafts (glad i did, too, because someone else not to long ago sent me like a ten or twelve piece ask and my inbox ate about half of it 😭😭) and i’ll answer it soon, pinky promise!!! HEHEHE yes of course you can, welcome to the anon club bb!! 🥳🥳

[inkykeiji]

ok first but youuUUUU AREE GEEHHH WTF STOP ITS LIKE YOUR LIL HINT OF INNOCENT IDK BUT YOU R NASKJDLS I DONT LIKE THIS JUST. YOU. WHY FUCKING CUTE 😤 I WANNA CRUSH YOU YK??!!!

so huh stay safe and take care 🙄

hehehehe hello anon i love you so much <333 if by crush me u mean crush me with a big bear hug then i will allow it <33

[inkykeiji]

Clari!!! Bmb part 4!!! Cleared my skin!!!! Watered my crops!!! And broke my fecking heart!!! I'm in the UK and when I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was grab my phone to read it!!

Like you should be so proud of yourself!! You've created this beautifully written series that's made me (and I'm sure other people) feel such a complex array of emotions!!! Like for a while I fell out of love with writing creative pieces, but all your works have inspired me to get back into it, with the hopes I can write something that makes readers feel the same way as I do when I read your works!!!

I stg when you get the opportunity to publish it as a novel, imma be fighting for first in line to get a copy!!

Anyway sorry, this was such a ramble, I just want you to know how much I loved it!!! I hope you're having a brilliant day and drinking lots of water!!! - 🐣 Anon

HATCHLING!!!! i'm so sorry it hurt aaaah hehehe but i'm absolutely ecstatic to hear that you enjoyed it!!!!

thank you!!! i am very proud of myself!! i love this series with everything in me, it's so important and special and PERSONAL to me, and to be able to hear that it's impacted so many others in various ways is just indescribable; i'm so happy and grateful to hear it!!

and thank you so very much for letting me know that, sweetpea!!! it's an absolutely incredible feeling to know that your own work has inspired others, and i don't take that for granted at all. i'm flattered!!! <33 HAHAHA you're the cutest omfg hehehe <33333 and please don't apologize!!! i appreciate any of your messages so much!! thank you sweet babie hatchling for your kind words and for your well wishes!! i hope you have a fantastic (and hydrated!) day as well!!!

[inkykeiji]

Clari! im the anon who added that guy on insta! lately we've been around each other a lot and we just.. idk.. CLICK so well.. idk if i believe at love at first sight but we're soo comfortable around one another so soon. i didnt wait to have sex with him bc honestly the timing "felt right". i just feel like its too good to be true? any advice on how to just go with the flow? i feel im falling hard but hes reciprocating the same energy. i overthink so damn much; its just part of my anxiety :/

aw hi babie!!!

aaaaah first of all i’m so happy for you!!!! i’m glad you took the leap and added him and i’m glad you’ve been spending so much time around/with each other!!!! i think the fact that you click so so so well, like possibly to the point where you’re like ‘wow, have i even gotten along with someone this well this fast?’ is a good sign. don’t worry about the sex; if it felt right to you and you both felt comfortable/ready then there’s no issue at all. your sex life is YOURS and no one else’s opinions should matter. the only thing that matters is that you both felt ready!!! <3

AAAAAAAH okay. i suffer from extreme overthinking too, so i know how annoying and stressful and just,,, pure anxiety inducing it can be. i’ve definitely thunk myself into spirals before. i think, as cheesy as it sounds, it’s important to remember the fragility of life—which is to say, try your best to live your life day-to-day without overthinking about what might happen in the future (easier said than done, i KNOW >.<). but, truly, you never know what could happen, so try to just live in the moment and enjoy your time with him right now. i’m someone who believes in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, so even though it’s scary, especially if you’ve been hurt before, believe that his feelings are genuine. he’s given you absolutely zero reasons to think otherwise!!

i think (and i may be wrong so please feel free to correct me if i am of course!!) what’s happening here is, he’s very very quickly becoming someone important to you, and that IS scary—that’s scary no matter how slow or quick it happens. because the moment you realize someone means a lot to you, you also realize how much it would hurt to lose them, or upset them etc etc etc. but we are humans, and relationships are one of the most important parts in our lives, so we must take these risks. they are almost always worth it. additionally, the only alternative is to isolate ourselves and not form meaningful relationships in fear of being hurt. life is too short to live in fear, you know?

give him a chance, let yourself fall, enjoy the fall!! live life one day at a time and genuinely try to enjoy each one. savour your moments together, have fun! falling for someone and/or building a meaningful relationship is a beautiful thing to experience, so don’t let your anxiety steal that from you!! get to know him more as a person, explore his best qualities, his flaws and faults, his loves and hates, and share your own. i promise you it is not too good to be true, i promise you that you deserve this love and you deserve this happiness. allow yourself to have it.

[inkykeiji]

For so long I've been thinking of sending this message. So if you get this, I've managed to win my battle with my (irrational) thoughts.

Just wanted to say that from moment you said therapy was going to hit hard, you've been on my mind constantly and I've been worrying about you. Though there isn't much I can do. Especially not across an ocean.

I've been on the same road (more or less) and it was hard. Especially with my little guy walking around as well. It was thanks to him that I did it all. Without me he would have to go to his father. Not that we are bad terms, on the contrary. I just don't like how his girlfriend treats my little one. Anyways I finished therapy 2 years ago next month, after nearly 3 years of therapy.

Anyways I hope things are getting better and if you want to talk you can send me a dm. Just look for 2 flowers in your followers 😉.

In the mean time stay strong and remember I/we love you. And I will continue to read and reread your fics as they have me 'obsessed' with Touya-nii at the moment. -🦒

AH hello my sweet friend <33

tw: mental illness talk below the cut

first off, let me say i am incredibly happy you decided to send this ask!!!!! it's lovely and i appreciate it so, so, SO much <33

waaaah this made me tear up (in a good way!)!!! oh sweetpea, please do not worry about me!!! i'm going to be okay!! i've been in and out of therapy since i was 13 years old, so this definitely isn't my first rodeo hahaha

your compassion and care spans the ocean my precious friend; i can feel your sincerity and it means more than words can tell you, so thank you very much!! <33

wow, that's incredible to hear!!! i'm so proud of you!!! <333 i will most likely need to be in psychotherapy for the rest of my life. i'm not at all upset about this, it's just another thing to add to my treatment plan/coping methods; i'm already on meds and i'm trying to (if possible) keep myself from being put on more by having a very well-rounded treatment plan...we will see how it goes in the near future and adjust accordingly!! it's all still very trial and error but that's okay, i'll get it eventually <3

oh, thank you for that, that's so so nice <33 i shall keep trying to stay strong!!! i love you so much!! i hope you enjoy the re-reads hehehe and i hope you and the lil guy are both doing wonderful <33 sending you both so much health and happiness!

[inkykeiji]

CLAARIIIIII!!!!!!!!! <3333333333333 hi :33 ive been freaking swamped with hw (uni sucks) but i feel rlly proud of myself for getting a bunch of work done :DD i was wondering if you had any tips to give anyone still in school :] <33 TY ILYSM HAVE A WONDERFUL SAY MUAH -💌

HELLO my precious love letter!!!!!! aw sweetpea i’m so sorry to hear that :((( university can be so stressful and overwhelming!!! so i’m super super proud of you for getting lots of work done too!!!!!! that’s incredible love letter aaah i’m really glad to hear it!!! <333 oooooh uni tips okay okay!!!

i think the best tip i can give you, and the best tip that worked for me personally (and it’s fine if this doesn’t work for you!!) is to craft yourself a solid routine and strictly adhere to it. this takes trial and error (to find something that works well for you) as well as practice and self-discipline (to form the habit) but it was invaluable to me. it’s something i’ve been currently working on revising now that i’m out of school and juggling new responsibilities (tho i think i’ve finally found something that works!!!)

i just find that, for me at least, having a routine or a schedule makes me so much more efficient!!! i think the other tips i’d give you are:

- to take breaks: even if your cramming, or you procrastinated and are now stuck pulling an all-nighter to get ur work done, breaks are so important. even if they’re just for five minutes! you are not a machine, and even computers need breaks, right? your brain and body need time to recuperate!!! and, if you’re able to adhere to my second tip below and begin assignments well before their due date, take even longer breaks. here’s something i used to do: i’d promise myself a ‘reward’ after i finished a specific amount of work for the night. so, for example, i’d tell myself alright, read and make notes for these three articles, and then you can spend the rest of the night writing/watching a film etc.

- try your best to plan ahead and start assignments early: i know i know i knoooooow everyone says this, and i know it can be super difficult to do (especially if you have anxiety and/or are a perfectionist!) but it can be done, i pinky promise you!!! if i could do it, you can too!! try and view it in one of two ways (or both!): either 1. your work and education is very important to you, and you want to get the best out of it and make sure you’re learning all you can at the highest quality OR (and this one is very important regardless of whether or not #1 applies to you) 2. your mental and physical health are very important to you and you don’t want to put yourself into stressful situations that make you feel very icky >.< what helps me a lot are to-do lists and outlines!!! i outline the heck out of everything, seriously ._.

- remember that none of this is worth a mental breakdown and that it does not determine your worth as a person or your intelligence in any way: this is something i wish i had reminded myself of more often (like when i had a legitimate breakdown over a B+...... yeah,,), so i’m always sure to tell others as much as i can!!! but it’s true. school is just school, even if it’s important to you (it certainly was to me!! very much!!); no one is perfect, and you can’t always avoid getting a few lower marks than you would’ve wished!! don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re trying <3

- if you’re doing your best, then it means you’re doing all you possibly can, and that’s all anyone can ever ask of you—including yourself: honestly this is just life advice in general LMAO but it also goes hand in hand with the tip above. you’re here at school to learn, so learn!! we learn the best from our mistakes and ‘failures’. you can’t expect yourself to be fantastic at something you’re new to, or something you’ve just begun learning about, you know??? it’s the same with any skill/craft/art—no one is amazing right off the bat!! we all start somewhere <3

i also gave an anon some tips on writing an essay last minute, if you’d like those as well!! i hope these help you out at least a little, love letter bb <333 i know that many of these tips require you to have/build a certain level of self-discipline, but you can do this!!!! i am rooting for you!!!!!! self-discipline is simply a skill anyone can strengthen!!! <33

[inkykeiji]

hii clari<3 it’s been AGES omg do u remember me hehe it’s bunny anon ☺️ how have u been?! I missed u so much!!! though I haven’t been able to go on tumblr often I went on your blog (and your blog only) or re-read ur answers for my past asks every now and then!! going on ur blog is literally my therapy and my happy place, and it has been that way ever since I discovered your blog <33 so thank u so so much for that!

Lil life updateee I’m in uni now, in America which is very far away from my home country!! finally doing film major stuff hehe so it’s v nice, but at the same time it kinda fucks up my mental health at times </3 okok so my college rant under this!!!being soo far away from all my family and friends (and a country I’ve lived my whole life in) isn’t the easiest thing but honestly I think my actual struggles r based on the college part :( starting all my relationships from scratch&handling crazy amount of workload is toughh. I constantly feel the pressure to build a deep, close or comfortable friendship even though I know it takes time. I also think I have fomo&I constantly pressure myself cuz it feels like I have to know many ppl, go to parties every week and “have fun” but it doesn’t seem to be the case for me yet ;( I know it hasn’t even been 2 months so I should go easy on myself but my brain and mind seems to work separately </3 My brain knows things like these take time & a lot of ppl are going thru the same thing & everyone’s life goes on a diff pace & no one’s gonna judge if I’m going to parties and having fun in college or not… but my mind keeps pressuring me for no reason 😢

sorry for the long rantttt ahh it’s just that you’re so so sweet, make me feel truly comfortable sharing these vulnerable stuff & give amazing advice 🥺 I appreciate u so so much clari!! also wanted to share that our past film talks nd ur passion for film also inspire me and motivate me to do well in class <333 love u so much nd hope u’re doing great angel <3 -🐰

oh my gosh bunnie babie i missed you so much!!!!!! it’s so wonderful to hear from you again!!! SSSHHHHHHH STOP THAT’S SO PRECIOUS MY WHOLE HEART IS MELTING MY RIBCAGE AAAAH <33333 i’m so so so happy to har that, but i’m so sorry you’re having a bit of a tough time :(( let’s get into it under the cut <3

oh sweetpea, first year of uni can be rough!!! it was rough for me and i didn’t even move out of my home country, so i can only imagine the toll it’s taking on you!

my advice is to try and balance your mental health and your school work (a LOT easier said than done, i know, but you can do it!!). babie, if you don’t like going out to parties every weekend, or they’re totally draining and exhausting you, then don’t go! look around for events happening in the city and clubs happening on your campus that embody things you ENJOY doing, and spend your time going to those instead. you’ll still make meaningful connections through these, too!! university campuses often have a ton of events and clubs going on literally all the time, so start looking around!

i’m not going to tell you school isn’t important; my schoolwork and my grades and my education as a whole was extremely extremely important to me and i get the sense that it matters a lot to you too. and that’s good, that’s okay! i gleaned a lot of validation from my schoolwork and genuinely enjoyed my assignments, so i get it. thus, education matters, yes, but not at the expense of your mental health. school will always be there; it isn’t going anywhere, you know? but your mental health is something that must be dealt with immediately before it gets worse. you don’t deserve to suffer!!!

on the topic of balancing mental health/life and school: making realistic to-do lists, keeping a schedule, and offering myself rewards was what worked the best for me!! so, for example, i would make a ‘deal’ of sorts with myself: i’d be like okay, let’s read these three articles, or write three paragraphs of that essay, and then i can spend the rest of the night watching a movie/hanging out with friends etc and it worked quite well for me!! so maybe that might be a strategy you want to try!! <3

on the topic of friends + relationships: let those friendships and connections form organically; they’ll be much deeper that way. focus on fostering meaningful connections with people you click with. these could be people in your classes, in school clubs, your roommates, at parties (if you WANT to go; you do not have to. i didn’t!), at events around the city etc. personally, i made all of my uni friends through my classes and our film club on campus!! and let me tell you something: on my way to my first film club meaning, i was so nervous i nearly threw up. i almost turned around, but my mom called me and persuaded me to at least show up. as someone who suffers from severe social anxiety, it was downright terrifying, but i’m so glad i did it! and proud of myself, too!! i made a handful of really incredible, talented friends whom i still love and cherish today (one of them actually just messaged me to gush about dabi and then invite me to a little anime watch party he hosts every week). my point is: there are sooooooo many different ways to meet people and make new friends; parties are only ONE of those ways, and they’re not for everyone, and that’s okay.

you said america isn’t your home country, are you fluent in another language? if so, my city had this really cool program where you teach others languages (and they teach you one, too!) and i know a few of my friends made friends through that as well.so maybe that’s an option! if your city hosts a lot of film events at indie theatres, you could also check those out, too!!

look around and see what’s going on, and above all just take it one day at a time. i promise there’s no rush here and you’re 100% right, you should try to be easier on yourself!! be kind to yourself my sweet bunny babie, this is a lot to handle!! it must be very overwhelming! it’s okay if you have to take it a little slower! do whatever is best for you <3 and whenever your mind starts being mean to you and telling you lies, just tell it to shut the fuck up, because you KNOW it isn’t true (and tell it clari says stfu too and stop tormenting bunny >:( hehe <3)

i hope this helps a little, sweetpea!! thank you so much for your kind words, they warmed me right to the core of my soul!! it’s absolutely lovely just hearing from you again, even if the situation is icky >.< i love you so much and you’ll be in my thoughts!! this is a MASSIVE life transition for you, try to be a little kinder to yourself, precious bunny <3 you’re doing so well and i’m so proud of you!!!

[inkykeiji]

clari! i havent been in your asks for a really long time! how are you, has anything exciting happened recently? i recently moved out of my home to live with my grandma and started a new job. things have been tough & there have been nights of me crying under the sheets at night feeling shitty... wish bmb dabi was real so i could cry and sob into his chest while he rubs my back and call me an idiot or something. which reminds me, how would touya nii and bmb dabi comfort you when you’re crying? ❤️

hi sweetpea!!

tw: a lil bit of mental health talk

aaaaaah as of late things have been...weird, to say the least. i’ve been having a LOT of crippling anxiety these past few days for absolutely no reason at all, but it’s completely diminished my appetite and i can’t fucking breathe lmao like,,, i feel like there’s a massive weight on my chest. but!!! it’ll get better!! sometimes i get weird waves of intense anxiety like this that linger for a few days or whatever, but they always pass ofc, just like everything else!

i’m sorry you’re having a rough time bb :( those are two really big life changes, so it’s totally understandable and valid that you’re feeling the way you are!! new stuff can be really, really scary, so i sympathize with you sweetpea :( i don’t know the more specific details of your situation, but i think (and hope!!) you’ll feel better once you get used to it all and settle into a routine!! please know that i am sending you SO much love!!! you can do it!! i promise you it will get better, it will get easier. keep pushing, okay? <33 ily lots n lots!!! n i’m gonna answer your incredible questions asked here in your second ask!!

[inkykeiji]

Hey Clari!!! I hope you’re doing well! So I binged BMB part three, and I can’t believe how everything you write comes out so amazing!! I enjoyed reading it so much! Tomuras melt down, and all these scenarios in his head and the slow self torture as he began to panic over losing his baby and her being unfaithful (which he was kinda right to worry about 😂) just everything about this chapter was so amazing! And keigo? Scum bag Keigo? The love of my life? Oh yes please.

TW: drug mention! Also I wanted to say, as someone who has trauma with drug abusers and such, its so hard to read a fic when people write about doing drugs in such a stereotypical fashion. Maybe it’s because I know it would never truly be like that LOL. But! It never feels forced in your writing, and it flows naturally with the story.

But overall I enjoyed the whole fic and can’t wait for part four, and I’m really excited for the Daddy Dabi fic you have teased in your info post! Even if it’s just bare bones structure! -🍁

maple bb!!! 🥰 thank you sweetpea i sincerely hope you are as well!! <33

tw: mental illness + drugs

oh my gosh, thank you so much!!! i worked extremely hard on that piece so i’m so so sooooo happy to hear that you enjoyed it 🥺 YES that’s really the thing that hurts the most (and the thing that’s really SCARY especially with the type of intrusive thoughts he’s having) is that he actually DOES have a reason to worry. even if the specifics of the thoughts aren’t true, it gets a little muddled in that way, you know?? he doesn’t exactly know what’s going on and he doesn’t know that the fears rooted in his thoughts are coming true, but it makes everything that much more complex, that much more confusing, that much more REAL. it’s a really terrible situation to be in :( this is one of the reasons i wanted to so heavily trigger warn the piece. intrusive thoughts rooted in reality or that have an air of reality to them are often so much worse ://

as someone who also has trauma with drug abusers and has been surrounded by addicts quite literally my entire life, i completely agree!! the thing about drug addition + mental health/illness in general is that it can be very specific to the individual and the circumstances that surround them, you know what i mean?? as such, it CAN affect different people and those who love and care about them in different ways. does that make sense??? there are obviously those very general signs and symptoms, but on a deeper level, it can affect people quite differently depending on their lives. it can be nuanced!! but i’m glad to hear that you feel like it flows and fits well in my writing, especially since i use writing as one of my main forms of coping!!!

thank you very much!! YES that has been pushed back quite far but it will get done eventually ehehehe <33

[inkykeiji]

hey clari !!! missed you. hope you're well !!!! lover's been a lil mia for finals but come come !! tell me about your day. what are your plans? ><

-lover

hi lover!! lovely to hear from you again (ha ha)!! <3 i missed you too!!

ick, finals >.< when i was in uni, final exams gave me such bad anxiety because of the time limit. i actually really enjoyed taking exams (i’m a freak, i know, but i loved what i studied) but hard and firm time limits really freak me out. luckily, most of my finals were final papers instead of exams, but like at least with a final paper you can hand it in late and still pass. you can’t hand in an exam late; you absolutely have to take it on the day it’s scheduled or you fail the whole thing.

i wish you good luck on everything sweetpea, please remember that grades do not define your intelligence or worth, and that your health is so much more important, so make sure you’re getting enough sleep, water, and food!!! i’ll keep you in my thoughts <3

aaaah well!! today is father’s day in canada, which is a very difficult day for me (as i’m sure anyone with a complex relationship with their father can understand). i already got the whole ordeal out of the way this morning so that’s good, but it’s still a rough day in general ._. so i’m just trying to take it easy and do self-care stuff, like marathoning my favourite star wars films while doing blog stuff hehe <33

other than that, today i’m just tryna figure out what to do with my ‘personal’ blog (inkyfae)! i really want to use it for something but i’m like,,, torn on what i want to use it for or how i want to use it haha <3 part of me wants to use it as a lil diary blog, part of me wants to use it as a spam blog, part of me wants to just use it as a catch-all, i dunno!!! but i’ll figure it out c:

i hope you’re doing well precious lover <3 never forget that i am rooting for you!!! <333